More Than Meets The Eye

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When I was 5, the Transformers was one of my favorite cartoons in the action category, up there with G.I. Joe, Voltron, He-Man (remember, I was only 5), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (spot the double entrendre here), Thundercats, Inspector Gadget, Jonny Quest, Silverhawks, and Robotech. I remember thinking breifly about who would win in an all out battle- GoBots or Transformers (It didn't take long to reach a definitive conclusion). If you happen to be curious, the answer to this question is exhaustively covered here.

However, Who would win this fight?:
The Constructicons (in Devastator form) vs. (Lion) Voltron.

My vote goes to Voltron, who would first fight the individual Constructicons broken down into 5 lions. A ferocious battle between the two teams would ensue, with the Constructicons slightly getting the upper hand. Outnumbered, the lions would come together to form Voltron, a move shadowed by The Constructicons. The Constructicons would get in a few good bitchslaps (while talking major trash to the seemingly mute Voltron- of course the pilots would be shouting encouragement, spitting out profanities, and grunting whenever they were dealt a telling blow) and maybe a couple of kicks to the groin before Voltron got pissed enough to clank his clenched fists together. Once Voltron unleashed his mighty longsword (at the apogee of a spectacular leap, of course!) he would streak down with tremendous speed and cut Devastator clear in half (who would be screaming "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"), resulting in an explosion of stupendous proportions. However, I believe that the Constructicons would win if they had help from Megatron.

And just for the record, I don't give a damn what happened in the movie (King Kong won in BOTH the Japanese and American versions of the film) or that their incarnations were equally matched in Rampage (they made Godzilla a bitch in this game if I remember correctly). It isn't even a question: Godzilla (destroyer of skyscrapers. special powers: invincibility, atomic breath, tail doubling as a bludgeon, super strength) would f*cking kill King Kong (climber of skyscrapers. special powers: super strength). Period.

2 Comments

Comment: Godzilla complex.
Adam. I know that your Boy Scout troop leader days are long fading memories, but PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, get over the fact that Godzilla lost to King Kong Donkey Kong. I know that Godzilla has the smackdown, but she just couldn't smell what King Kong was cooking. Suspicion surrounds your motive for supporting the feminine chromesome.

Comment: TMNT
BTW. You are a little off on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They came out about the time I was 9 (5th/6th Grade). I remember this well, because before they became popular I had to watch them at 6:30 on Saturday mornings. So, they came much later then ThunderCats, M.A.S.K., and Pee wee's Playhouse. I'll look into it. "Go Ninja, Go Ninja, GO!"

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This page contains a single entry by Adam published on January 22, 2004 8:49 PM.

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