...there is an old Corolla...

...that will probably still be here in 20 years.

There are also...

...a matching set of Canters.

I'm testing the embedding feature of Google Video. Let's see if this works:

(Click the play button to start playback)

Wow, that works pretty well!

This is the funniest shit I've seen for a long, long time:
"Choose Your Own Adventure" Books That Never Quite Made It

I really used to be into those books, and the Zork series as well. The Zork books had moralistic endings ("You chose to cheat by stating you had the Sneakers of Lightness, so the story ends here. Think about what a bad person you are for a while.") built in for cheaters, like me.

This is perhaps the grossest thing I've ever seen before lunch: In-N-Out 100x100

In other news, I have officially decided that Chuck Norris references are already too gay.

At the end of last year, Nam interpreted in Bangkok for a famous Yoshimoto comedienne, High Heel Momoko. They ended up hitting it off, and Momoko invited us to dinner this past weekend. This is how I, the guy who basically holds Japanese TV responsible for the heinous dumbing-down of the past few generations, found himself in a room full of famous people and their agents on Saturday night. It was thoroughly enjoyable.

Momoko and her entourage are a close-knit group and at first there was of course a lot of industry talk going on, which was interesting in the sense that people who work in television are always viewing the world around them through a virtual camera lens. "Wouldn't this make an excellent filming location," and, "isn't so-and-so getting their own series this year." That kinda stuff. Later, though, we chatted with Momoko and I did the inevitable by asking why she originally took on the High Heel moniker.

The main reason was very simple, that girls like high heels and she wanted to appeal heavily to females in the audience during her standup routines. She then went on to explain that you need two shoes to have a complete pair and manzai is also like this because there are two parts to the act (the tukkomi and the boke). Also, comedians often employ contradictions (two contrating points) to make people laugh. Her point was later illustrated when Kuro-chan, from a comedy troupe called Yasuda Dai Circus walked through the door. He's a big fellow who looks like a mean skinhead until he opens his mouth and his tickle-me-Elmo voice bursts forth - "Kuro-chan deeeeesu!" That guy had me laughing all night, because I just couldn't bring myself to believe that that was his real voice - of course everyone asked him if it was, but you can never tell what people will do to make it in television, right? I wanted to hold him down and tickle him to see if his voice would shift to a baritone, that's how ridiculously high his voice is.

All in all, it was a fun dinner.

Go check out this Google Maps hack that traces Jack Bauer's movements during this season's episodes of 24: Jacktracker

Who'd have thought we'd have this kind of awesomeness, even just a year or two ago?

Last week I railed against Skype for selling out to the commies, so it's only fair to spread the love to Google as well. Here's to hoping you have the good grace to perform a reacharound when you're getting fucked:

SAMPLE GOOGLE.CN SEARCH FOR "CHINESE ATROCITIES"

Nam just finished her last interview and it looks like she's set to receive her PhD in March! ALL THESE YEARS OF STUDY AND WAITING ARE FINALLY GONNA PAY OFF!!!!!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm alone tonight (she's staying out in Nara), but I think I'll drink to that anyway...

Related to my previous post, I'd like to know if anyone has food allergies or food preferences (disclaimer: I am basically the living antithesis of vegan. My philosophy is, "God gave me canine teeth for a reason, and damned if I'll let them go to waste." I have nothing against vegans besides the armpit hair-brandishing female type, but it will be very hard for vegans to travel with me on this trip, because among other things, several suckling pigs and a Peking duck or two have my name on them.).

Dave is lactose intolerant, which sucks but is fairly easy to work around, I think.

Chris, a guy I've not yet had the pleasure of meeting, is apparently allergic to peanuts. This is a much more serious issue. When I told Nam about this she thought it was the funniest thing in the world - "how can someone be allergic to peanuts?," and therein lies the problem as I see it. Because peanut allergies among Thais are virtually non-existent, there is no awareness. Hence, even asking for peanut-free food may not ensure safety.

Chris is apparently bringing some Epi-pens, which is about all that can be done treatment-wise (without going to the hospital). We will help him as best we can with the avoidance part. I found some allergy cards translated into Thai, but I'm having Nam check them right now because they look kinda ghetto. Will post the link later if they check out, or make some of our own.

The upcoming trip to Thailand will mark my longest stay there thus far; it will also mark my longest stay in Bangkok. I have a simple policy regarding food in Thailand: Street vendors and food stalls are king. For the most part, they specialize in a dish or two, and they usually do it well. At these places, I've had 25 Baht (70 cents) chicken-on-rice plates better than any restaurant equivalent in the states or Japan, ditto for 50 cent bowls of egg noodles and 40 cent plates of fresh stir fried veggies. Thailand is a chowhound's dream, simply because of the quality and widespread abundance of street food. One added bonus to this experience is keeping a mental list of the best street vendors/locations for specific kinds of food. The closest possible comparison to the states I can think of is taco trucks in LA - people remember where to go for, say, the best carnitas tacos, and share that information by word of mouth. A certain taco truck will gain a rep and maybe a following over a period of weeks or months, and then suddenly disappear. And chowhounds driving by for a quick midnight carnitas injection will wonder if it's just a day off, or if the owner got sent back to Mexico. And there will be much mourning; somewhere a cholo pours a can of warm Tecate on the curb. So it is also with food stands in Thailand.

However, I have been to some excellent restaurants in Thailand as well. There's that outdoor place by the Chao Praya river in Bangkok that Nam's sister takes us to each time we visit - we've already planned to hit that place up this time, as well. There was that awesome seafood restaurant Nam's aunts took us to when we announced our engagement - T had a messy foodgasm when he ate 3 huge Giant River Prawns there. And there's the rundown little Vietnamese cafe in Nam's hometown where they make the best springrolls I've ever had (although the pack of rabid dogs that attacked me outside were kind of a bummer). You may notice a pattern here: Basically every kick-ass place restaurant I've been to in Thailand was introduced to me (usually by Nam's family). Which I suppose is natural, seeing as how she's my wife and all, but it brings me to the next point.

I OFFICIALLY DECLARE THIS UPCOMING TRIP (second only to our wedding, that is): CHOWHOUND'S DELIGHT AKA Finding the Best Eats in Thailand, Part I

I even have a plan.

I am researching other's studies into this area before the trip. See here and here for an example of the kind of articles I dig, as well as the boards up at Chowhound and Fodor's. Of course we will do extensive exploring by following our noses/instincts, as well.

So who's with me on this?

Maverick! We're in a nose dive! PULL UP! PULL UP!

Bonus tailspin: Dollar version

Jesus, Thaksin is kicking my ass.

Was I the only one to laugh out loud when a certain hobbit appeared on last week's episode of 24 and proceeded to save Jack Bauer's life by catching a detail that both Chloe and Buchanan missed?

Good ole Sam sure has some tricks up his sleeve. h0bb17 Pwnz!

Open a socket for me, Edgar!

Last week we picked up some American beef at Jusco, complete with AMERICAN BEEF! FROM USA! stickers on the packs. "Awesome," I thought. Beef bowl renewal at Yoshinoya must be imminent... Think again. And American companies wonder why they can't compete in foreign markets... It's called quality control, guys.

This is sad because, unfortunately, Aussie beef just doesn't cut it for Japanese cooking - it's too lean. I think Australian cows play hockey all day or something. New Zealand beef is much better from what I've seen - on par or better than American beef - but for some reason it's a lot more expensive. Pretty much the same price as cheap Japanese beef though, so there's no reason to buy it. Of course, NZ lamb is unparalleled in quality, so soft and tasty (I think it's because they're regularly injected with semen, but that's a different story).

In other cringeworthy news, read yet another reason why you don't want to be hospitalized in Japan, ever.

I've been walking home from work again lately. I started this eco-transportation pattern last October where I'd ride the bus to work and walk home. My coworkers thought I was crazy because nobody really walks on this island (It's the closest I've come in Japan to seeing as many people owning cars as back home in Cali - there's no train and the buses suck, so you really need a car). It's not that far, really, about 5 miles or so. But most people think I'm fucking nuts for walking that far after a full day of work.

It's turned into kind of a habit because it really calms my nerves to be able to work off stress slowly, grindingly, every day. I can go home and take a shower and relax after that. Yesterday, though, it was really cold or something, cuz when I got back home, I sat down on the sofa anditwassowarmandfuzzy and - POW! - the next thing I know, it was time to go to work again. Didn't even take a shower.

The funny thing is, Nam was working on school stuff and wedding stuff on the computer, and she kept asking me questions, which I barely registered in a state of half-awake paralysis. So she didn't think I was really sleeping that long or something, because she ended up staying awake until 5AM doing her stuff. I woke up naturally an hour later, prepared for a presentation I had at 8AM, and came into work early all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I was one of the first to arrive, and greeted everyone with a loud ohayozaimasssu as they walked through the door. Pretty much down to the last man, they all gave me a mental Fuck Off w/red eye beam, and so I knew my transformation to Dedicated Salaryman with No Home Life was complete.

WANKO - "Sweet life with precious dogs"

That's just wrong.

QUESTION: At a friendly get together, what is more annoying than having a guy who acts like he can kick everybody's ass in the room, as well a girl acting like the head cheerleader at high school?

ANSWER: Having the same as above arrive as a couple and then getting sucked into their wine snob conversation.

SUPPLEMENT #1: And then finding out they get off on kissing in front of other people.

SUPPLEMENT #2: And wondering how they can act like this well into their fifties. Wrinkles and liver spots, baby.

(Thx to XY)

Some people have recently asked why I don't use a webcam and enable video messenging. Some possible replies:

- Do you really want to see me picking my nose and flipping off the screen that badly?

- I'm not that vain

- I'm a leper

- It feels too much like work (we have videoconferences all the time)

- It would impede my "walk around the house naked" lifestyle

- It makes me feel powerful to be able to watch you when you can't watch me

- What is this, 1998?

My research into this subject consists only of an hour-long web search. That is all I needed to determine that the first person to establish a Mexican restaurant in Bangkok with excellent food will probably become rich. I hope somebody steps up to this role soon, so I don't have to do it myself (in general, I hate living in big cities).

There are a few reviews of Mexican food in Bangkok, to be sure, but I really don't trust the reviewers. Why? Well, for instance, anybody who even sets foot into a Mexican restaurant named "Charley Brown's" is not qualified to judge, in my book. Similarly, a "fairly decent Mexican buffet on Tuesday nights" does not a Mexican restaurant make. But the clincher was the following quote from an older review:

"...helpful and attentive staff, an outstanding stock of fine liquor (when did you last see quality tequila like Jose Cuervo in Thailand?), and really great food..."

Um. With Cuervo as a baseline for quality tequila, I don't think we can trust this guy's judgment of the finer points of carne asada either.

So. The general consensus of people who seemed to know good Mexican food is that Senor Pico is the best Thailand has to offer. It didn't get really stellar review from anybody not from Wisconsin or Boston, though, if you know what I mean.

I have thus placed myself in the ironic situation of having to try a Mexican restaurant in a SE Asian country, where a single margarita is sure to cost more than twenty bowls of delicious noodles being sold from a food cart right outside the front door. But I feel it's worth it - if it's as bad as I fear, I know what to do for work when I move later this year.

I'll import a fully-stocked taco truck from east LA and bless Thailand with the best damn carnitas they've (n)ever seen.

Ole, bitches!

I've been making a big deal about this light fishing cruise on a 70-foot boat in Thailand next month, but just how many feet of overkill does that amount to? After all, if we were in Brazil, all we would need is a skiff and a lamp....

You should definitely go check out the whole collection at full size:
FAR AND WIDE - The Golden Age of Travel Posters

This is just the latest exhibit at the Los Angeles Public Library Virtual Gallery.

There's a few real gems in the other sets as well:

- There is no such thing as a movie being better than the book. And the screen version of Where the the Wild Things Are directed by Spike Lee Jonze will probably prove this beyond a doubt (if it's an exception to the rule, however, excellent!).

- Hollywood is poison to successful Hong Kong talent. Case in point #1: Chow Yun Fat, #2 John Woo, #3 Michelle Yeoh (also read: The law of diminishing returns)

- Amazingly, Japanese TV manages to suck even harder than American TV

- Even more amazingly, Japanese MTV sucks even harder than American MTV (see also: Japanese rappers, J-Pop)

- The only thing more annoying than trailers for a retarded show like Ally McBeal is trailers for a retarded show like Ally McBeal in Japanese (theme songs and all)

- CNN Japan occasionally airs The Daily Show episodes at 3:30 in the morning

- Kiefer Sutherland has nothing to lose by legally changing his name to Jack Bauer

- It is my firm belief that most Japanese people have never seen a Kurosawa film (although many claim to have, and they all DO know who he was, at least)

- At movie theaters in Thailand, people stand up and sing in honor of the king before the movie begins (they hold their right hand over their hearts like the Pledge of Allegiance, if I remember correctly)

- Movie theaters in Thailand have had better seating reservation systems than most in the US or Japan for the past 5 years (customer-operated Windows-based touch screen systems at the ticket booth)

- Overseas movies routinely take several months to appear in Japanese theaters

- Movie channels on Japanese cable/sat TV are unbelievably pathetic ("new features" are often 2-3 years old)

- The NTSC system suxxors compares to PAL

Someone sent this to me with the caption, "CANON 30D."

It is immediately apparent that I was wrong in recommending a Nikon to my little brother last week. Maybe they'll still let you trade it in, Adam.

Will anyone stand up to the Chinese government?

Skype caves in to Chinese censors

I'm sick of those commie bastards dictating morally wrong terms of business to Western companies. And will said companies please grow some fucking balls already? Jeez.

Hope you feel proud participating in the censorship of, say, the Dalai Lama... Well, you just wait. Karma's a fucking bitch, you nutless cowards.

The thing is, I'd have figured a righteous company like Skype would somehow act better than those pussies over at , say, Yahoo (oooops there goes my del.ico.us and flickr accounts)... Guess I'll see you guys again when I need to ask someone what Beijing dick tastes like.

Check out this awesome photo gallery of pool hustlers. The real kind that is, not the kind with their own (delicious) spaghetti sauce charities, nor the kind that tote around e-meters and jump up and down on Oprah's couch.

For some reason, I now have a strong urge to dig out the New Jack City soundtrack.

(via kottke)

This guy's a dumbass. He had the best name in the world before he changed it, in fact, he was even one up on the Donger:

"What's yo name, foo?"

FUK! (Oh, I mean, Andy.)

My mom asked me how to catch a cab at Bangkok International Airport and I am reprinting my advice here.

/////

The best way to catch a taxi from BKK airport is to go up to the Departures level (second floor) and catch one that's dropping off somebody or is driving by.

The second best way is to go to the taxi stand out on the curb on the Arrivals level (first floor) and get a slip of paper that ensures you will get a metered taxi (although I haven't seen an unmetered taxi for years). It will automatically cost 50 baht more to do this, and even though that's not very much money, the taxis on the Arrival level are notoriously old and dirty (this makes a huge impact when the A/C is cranked and the windows are rolled up the whole time).

The absolute worst thing to do is to agree on a fare inside the airport. Some cabbies will try to help you with your bags to try and get you in their cabs, especially if you look like a noob, but refuse them. They charge up to ten times the normal fare, which is still under twenty bucks, but still....

There is a map of the airport here: Bangkok International Airport

Just got an e-mail back from Barry, who I've been talking to about the boat charter:

Our normal trip leaves our pontoon at 9 a.m. and returns around 5 - 5.30
p.m. - however, as you will be chartering the boat for your group only, we
can be flexible on this at either end.
We normally catch snapper, seabass, catfish, sweetlip. The fish are not all
that big because we won't be that far off the coast and the water is still
fairly shallow. The boat was out last Sunday and they caught over 80 fish
with the biggest (a snapper) just over 12 inches long.
There's plenty of discovering to do - we take out semirigid with us to ferry
passengers to beaches. There's one small island, for example, that is
inhabited only by (timid) monkeys, and passengers enjoy feeding them
bananas.
The area of Kao Sam Roi Yod is a protected marine national park, so it't
pristine in Thai terms.
There't no great snorkelling around here, though around Monkey Island is ok
if the sea is very calm.
We have a very well stocked bar on the boat, including all the popular
beers, spirits and some cocktails. Our prices are the same as normal bar
prices in Hua Hin, i.e. not the normal over-inflated prices you normally
find on boats, etc.
We can provide whatever catering you want, e.g. a mixed Thai buffet, a
top-range buffet of western food or just about anything else. If you could
give an idea of what you want, I'll price and send you the details and you
can then decide.
Our marina for boarding the boat is in Pak Nam Pran, just over 20 km south
of Hua Hin.
It only takes 20 minutes from Hua Hin and is a pleasant drive, the last half
through hilly pineapple plantations.
We have a pick-up taxi that can transport 10 and can organise an additional
similar vehicle.
The return trip for both vehicles together would be B 1200, i.e. B 60 per
head for 20 people.
There is accommodation near us but tends to be more expensive than in Hua
Hin and there is no nightlife in Pak Nam Pran.
If you want us to check out accommodation for you in Hua Hin, again just
give me the details, how many double/single rooms, price range etc. and
we'll ask around for you.

So now let's examine some of what he has written. First off, I believe he said the magic word: MONKEYS! And MONKEY ISLAND! No explanation necessary, the addition of monkeys is just a lovely bonus... I may have just found the first volunteers for my future simian army (recruiting line: "Travel to exotic places, meet wonderful people, and FLING POO AT THEM!").

This is a sweetlip. According to other sites, they are prime for eating.

"semirigid" = Zodiac w/outboard

I'm going to ask for the catering. What kind of spread do we want? Maybe they can prepare some of the fish we catch on board to supplement whatever we order. Decisions, decisions.

Regarding the 60 Baht per person (assuming 20 pax) we were quoted for the taxi ride, 2 taxis, 40 km/40 mins. both ways: That's a DOLLAR AND FIFTY CENTS. How you like them apples? I love Thailand.

For some reason, Hua Hin is reminding me of Lanai, although I might not have ever even been there. Must be the pineapple plantations.

Need I mention that I'm REALLY REALLY EXCITED about this?

//////

You know what? I might not be able to tip these guys well enough!

How To Cook With Lava

I miss Hawaii. I suppose the upcoming Thai trip is a throwback to those days, on the beach with family and friends.

(link via mefi)

I hereby declare February 21 Pirate Talking Day in Thailand. That's right, the Peacock is ours, maties!

Details to follow.

An announcement on his site (LINK):

IN RESPONSE TO THE "RANDOM FACTS" THAT ARE BEING GENERATED ON THE INTERNET

I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts.
- Chuck Norris

In case you haven't seen the list of random facts in question, Tom has a comprehensive one up on his blog.

"The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain." Heh. The second is porn moustaches.

On my very first trip to Thailand, I rented a Jeep, a speedboat, a dirtbike, and a SPAS-12, so it only follows that we must try and do one better this time around.

Well, with a real live elephant who apparently likes to dance to drums reserved and ready to carry my fat ass into holy matrimony, it is time to turn my attention to another area: The big blue. And no, this is not to say I am investing in a ChinkPad.

I am thinking of chartering a 70-foot boat for a day-long fishing/diving cruise: Check it out!

The naked mermaid graphic on that page shows some real class, I tell you. It looks like for the amount of people that will be coming along, the breakdown will be about 3,000 to 4,000 yen per person ($30 - $40). Sound cool?

UPDATE: I've been asked to provide more details. I have sent an e-mail to the company requesting a private charter of the Peacock on 2/21 for a full day of fishing/diving for 15 to 20 people. Have not yet received a reply, but will update here and on the AirSet site when I do.

I backed down from a fight in the parking lot this morning.

The funny thing is, I would have been completely morally justified in beating the shit out of this guy. He almost caused two school kids to get run over, and took displeasure in me calling him on it - and so he waited for me at the entrance of the parking lot, where he knew I had to walk to get to work.

He was talking tough and really trying to provoke a response. When that didn't work and I walked right by him, he grabbed my jacket sleeve and tugged me back. And on top of it all, he was making a big show of half-pulling some kind of weapon from his jacket pocket - the classic mark of someone who is definitely not serious about using it. So yes, I was justified. I came pretty goddamn close to throwing an elbow at his throat; he was right up in my face with both hands occupied - one holding my lapel and the other in his pocket.

And yet, I let it slide. I backed down. We exchanged some harsh words, but the fact is, I consciously backed down. This is the second time I've been in a situation like this in two years, and the second time I've backed down.

It is not easy for me to back down. It really rubs me the wrong way; if this time is anything like last time, I won't be able to sleep tonight because there was no release. Those feelings are like a poison inside me. They gnaw at my guts and make me tremble. And I knew it would end up like this, and I still chose to back down.

The thing is, Never Backing Down was a way of life for me for the longest time. It was an ideal way of life when I felt I had nothing to lose - so simple, so samurai. The thing is, though, even samurai realized they were fucked if they ever tried to live the warrior life only part of the time. In the book of Hidden Leaves, it states that a warrior must accept death on a daily basis. He must be ready to die at any time, and only then can he overcone his enemies. It basically said, you can be either a warrior, or be something else, but not both at the same time. Because deluding yourself into thinking you can do both is what will get you killed for sure.

And so I guess what I'm trying to say is, I have too much to lose now to indulge in unnecessary fighting. Which for someone, who for some reason runs into as many confrontations as I do, basically means that I will have to back down from fights if at all possible, even if it is hard to swallow afterwards.

Having too much to lose is a good thing, and I know I did the right thing, but it sure doesn't help with this incredible frustration I feel right now...

Hurry, someone call me a pussy so I can kick your ass.

So much for all the camera snobs saying digital cameras would never catch up to film. Nikon is throwing in the cellulose towel.

The title "Nikon prepares to strengthen digital line-up for 2006" is almost ironic. This is somehow sad news, even though I was the earliest convert to digital I knew. Even before then, my idea of a fun camera was a thirty year old Asahi Pentax. Spending money on developing black and white film in Japan has always sucked major balls. None of the preceding sentences were really linked, and yet this is a paragraph.

Goodbye, film.

Interesting fact: My company owns the term, "dejicame." Pretty cool.

(via Jim O'Connell on the Japan Photography Mailing List)

There's a couple of automobile-related posts worth your time today.

M1114 Humvees are a thing of beauty to U.S. troops in Iraq
A Car and Driver correspondent runs missions with the 3rd Infantry Division in Baghdad, dodging IEDs and illustrating a different aspect of everyday life over there, as well as timing 0-60 and quarter mile runs in fully-armored military Humvees. Bonus: Story about a 105mm suppository. That donkey story has to be an urban myth, what kind of shithead wires his own cellphone to a bomb?

And transportation advice on a different kind of battlefield:
Traveling In Bangkok....By Bus!
I love traveling by bus in foreign countries, and Thailand is no exception. You can ride round and round the city for pennies a day, and it's been my experience that local respect you for having the nads to ride the bus. One old lady was so impressed the first time T and I rode the bus, she gave us a bag full of deep fried grubs she was selling... We MUNCHED on those things, and POW, even though they were fairly disgusting, we are talking INSTANT MEMORABLE DINING EXPERIENCE IN FARAWAY LAND.

One thing that has become apparent with this overseas wedding is simply an old truth - it's just best to ignore the big mouths. Nam and I have been planning to get married for years; we just never got around to it. Over those long years, I remember each and every person who urged us to have the wedding in Thailand so they could take a vacation there. They promised to attend, of course, like it was no big thing. "For you guys, OF COURSE I'll be there, you're family/good friends/important to me..."

Well, invitations were sent long ago and the requested RSVP date was the first of December. Guess the only people who haven't responded at all? That's right, the big mouths! The shit talkers, AKA Those Who Cannot Back Up That of Which They Speak. I call all of you out now. Because it's not the fact that you cannot attend which bothers me - believe me, I know the expense/bother involved with taking time off work, etc., just to attend our Matrimonial Gloryfest Afar. Rather, it is the fact that NONE OF YOU so far has the stones to tell me you can't go - FYI, an RSVP request can be answered in the negative without losing face, in fact it's the RIGHT and POLITE thing to do. It's the fact that you are IGNORING the invitation that rubs me the wrong way.... DO THE RIGHT THING, MOOKIE. Better yet, in the words of the immortal Ice Cube, FUCK ALL Y'ALL.

And now that I got that off my chest, I can write all you shit talkers off and proceed without regret.

God, I love this blogging shit.

I have been mistaken for AngryBlackBitch.

Life is complete (karma's a bitch, innit?).

explanation

The latest round of comment spam here is for GAY FEET.

I shit you not.

"In another break with the past, Eastman Kodak Co. is introducing a new corporate logo designed to help the company forge a new image as a cutting-edge, 21st century innovator."

Is it just me, or did some board member's nephew's design startup just laugh all the way to the bank? I didn't think it was possible to make a lower case "a" look both retarded and "cutting-edge" at the same time. If that's the direction lower case vowels are heading, cOUnt mE OUt, fOOls!

It almost goes without saying that the new logo looks much better backwards (this is J's first axiom of 2006 - ALL SUCKY, REDESIGNED LOGOS LOOK BETTER BACKWARDS).

Kabok, bitch!

In order to better facilitate planning for the wedding, we are using a free site called AirSet that provides calendars, etc., as well as flexible security settings. I need to send an invitation via e-mail and you need to register at the site in order for you to get into our group. I sent out a bunch of invites today, but if I forgot you, please drop me a line (cosmicbuddha at gmail dot com).

This is a public warning. I thought a long time before posting this, and it needs to be said.

NewsOnJapan.com is a useful site that aggregates, well, news about Japan. I visit it almost every day.

It has a sister site, NewsOnKorea.com

There is an option on that site to subscribe for e-mail updates. About a month ago, I accidentally found the UNPROTECTED DIRECTORY where they store complete, unobfuscated e-mail addresses of (what I assume to be) their subscribers.

I subsequently notified an apparent admin of that site in case they wanted to take action to protect their subscribers' e-mail addresses.

I received no reply. The directory remains open and unprotected. For obvious reasons, I will not link to it here, but e-mail me if you want to check for your address there - it is a spammer's wet dream.

I have no idea if unsubscribing will remove your address from the directory or not - that is between you and the site operators. I just wanted to bring this issue to light.

So my wife came back from Thailand last night. This morning, rather. Goddamn Thai Air flight was late 90 minutes, so she missed the last hydrofoil to the island at 9:50 PM. Took a conventional ferry that arrived in the next town over at 2 in the morning. It's a $50 cab fare (for a fifteen minute ride w/o tolls, don't get me started on Japanese taxis today), so I went to pick her up. I have to wake up at 6:30 these days, so I went early, parked in the ferry parking lot, and went to sleep with the engine on. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Woke up with a maglite beam in my face.

"I'm a policeman - open the window!"

"Oh, hell no."

"Open the window - now!"

"Stop shining that fucking light in my face and show me a badge!"

The shit was on.

Asshole rolled me out of my car, smelled me for alcohol, inspected my driver's license and gaijin card, and threatened to search my car. After I told him I didn't give a shit, he lost interest in that. Instead, he told me to get lost and go sleep somewhere else. I told him I was waiting for my wife to get back from the airport. He asked me what nationality my wife was - I told him I was going back to sleep.

Of course, it didn't end there. He harassed me some more and I told him to go look for Peruvians or something. He got all indignant and told me he knew the difference between SE Asians and South Americans. Like I give a fuck, right? I really wanted to say, hey, ain't neither here, so get the fuck out my face...

You know, when I left California and the whole getting-pulled-over-and-photographed-for-having-slanty-eyes scene behind, little did I know that I would have to put up with the same shit in reverse on the other side of the globe.... Power trippin' assholes with guns and badges. Some things are universal, I guess.