If you are looking for a specific book that's still in print, your one-stop shop is the Kinokuniya in Siam Paragon. There is an Asia Books one floor down from it that looks like it's about to go under because the selection at Kinokuniya is just that good. Also, the Kinokuniya branch at the Emporium comes nowhere close to the one at Siam Paragon, in terms of pretty much anything.

I haven't been able to make a proper tour of the used bookstores in Bangkok yet. I know there are a few around, and a couple even have blogs - just haven't had the time. I did spend a couple hours in the used book section at Jatujak market a couple weeks ago, and found a few treasures that I just had to have. The book section is the one area of Jatujak where you can leisurely browse and not feel completely overcome by that frenetic shopping/selling vibe prevalent throughout the rest of the market.

I like living in the third world, for the most part. Thailand is a great country and I like the fact that there's a lot further to go up than down. Today, however, I experienced a downside to the lack of development when I went to the hospital for a sperm count.

Actually, we didn't really go there to get my sperm tested, but I was kind of talked into it, if you know what I mean. It was all quite embarrassing, truth be told - the nurses kept giggling and saying the word "SPERM TEST" really loudly, in a waiting room full of people (yes, the word "sperm" has been carried over to Thai from English). Then I went to go see the doctor, who filled me in regarding the procedure... I think most guys can relate to what I was most concerned with, and basically the only thing I wanted to know was if they had any, um, how to say this... material. You know, like, inspirational material.

All of my worst fears were realized when the kind doctor answered "no," then proceeded to tell me that I had to "do my business" in a restroom, since they had no, um, meat handling facilities. At that point I was ready to chicken out, but my wife and the nurses were quite adamant about me going through with it. "Hell," I thought, "used to do it all the time when I was like, thirteen." Maybe it wouldn't be so bad...

The nurse handed me a plastic cup with a yellow, threaded cap and commanded in a loud voice, "PUT ALL YOUR SEMEN!" Then she pointed me toward the rear of the building.

This, my friends, is how I came to find myself in the public restroom at a hospital in Thailand, surrounded by geckos in a dirty toilet stall that stank like shit and death, trying to convince a very unhappy monkey that it really wanted to be spanked... With no materials! Think about that for a second...

I feel like I really took one for the team today.

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VERDICT: My sperm is so strong, it could make Chuck Norris ovulate...

I sang a Happy Sperm song all the way home! It sounded something like this:

My sperm is so strong,
It could kick your ass
It can swim in the ocean
and slither through grass

My sperm is so motile,
no one can say shit
You might get knocked up
by just looking at it!

My sperm challenges you to a game of wits! Bring it, biiiiiotches!

The overnight bus departs from Sarakham at 9:15 and arrives at Bangkok sometime after three in the morning. We took the "VIP" bus which costs another forty or fifty baht, yet is great value for the money since you get a hot meal, a bottle of water, and comfortable seating.

We stayed at Nam's aunt's house in Lad Prao and set out the next morning in search of a used car. Surprisingly, this was fun. I shocked a couple of dealers by showing them evidence of past accidents on their cars, so I guess the average Thai buyer is about as knowledgeable as the average American buyer. There was a lot less smooth talk than I expected, though. Of all the dealers we talked to, only one followed up with a phone call the next day. Altogether, there was little pressure to immediately commit to anything, which made for a nice experience. What made it even nicer was the car I decided on:

Love at first sight

That's a Nissan Cefiro with a 3-liter V6 engine (which is important, since almost all of those imported into Thailand only have a 2-liter engine. Too wimpy.). As of writing this, there are only two others for sale in the whole country that I can find, and only one in black (I don't care that it shows dirt and I don't care that it absorbs heat, I like black cars). It's slightly modified with aero kit and alloy seventeens, and it looks absolutely stunning in person. The sound system is crap, which is just how I wanted it since I like doing that part myself. I can't believe I have to wait another two weeks to drive it!

Now all I need to do is bring it out here to the rice fields and build a car port for it.