Recently, dealing with changes due to the new fiscal year have taken up my time at work, and today was no exception. Into my Inbox flies a matter of great concern to the corporate higher-ups: They say we have been bad monkeys, and our poor "upbringing" and "manners" are marring the company's precious image as of late. Severe breaches in company protocol have been observed, thus they are compelled to remind us of the following:
- Morning exercises are mandatory.
- Break time is finished when the bell chimes.
- Drink vending machines may only be used during break time.
- Eating and drinking are only allowed in break rooms, during break time.
- Drink bottles and cups cannot be placed on desks.
- Talking in the hallways is prohibited (especially idle chatter).
- Walking with your hands in your pockets is prohibited.
I must admit, I am a serious violator on every count. A rebel, have you. At least they didn't say I had to take my crack pipe off my desk... Ha!