I'm starting a war in the office. Let me explain.

Today, I intentionally broke the Tamanegi Convention. This convention simply states that no one shall consume raw onions right before coming to work. The reasons that this convention is necessary are:

A. This island is most famous for its onions

B. They are in season right now, and are delicious when sliced thin and eaten raw

C. They make your breath smell like ass

However, I would like to point out that the framers of this convention never took into account the fact that I would be returning back to a bachelor's lifestyle this week, coinciding with coming down with a summer cold and consuming huge NyQuil caps last night, which knocked my ass out cold on the sofa and prevented me from going shopping for groceries. Hence this morning's breakfast of egg, tomato, and onion sandwich served on a stale heel of bread folded in half.

So a message to all of you in the 9:00 meeting: INCOMING!