Mayo Otaku

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Generally, I like Japanese food. I am down with basashi (horse sashimi), liver sashimi, all traditional food, almost all seafood (except for mutsugoro and kujira, which are the Japanese for mudskipper and whale), and have even developed a positive view of grilled hormone (intestines).
However, sometimes things can get a little out of hand in Japan. Some Japanese people do not seem to grasp the concept that mayonnaise is a condiment best used to make specific dishes. You use mayonnaise to make tuna/egg/macaroni salads. You use mayonnaise in sandwitches or hamburgers. You use mayonnaise as a base to make sauces and dressings. Mayonnaise should only be used in these contexts.
Now, I know that some Europeans and people that have been to Europe like to dip their French (er...Freedom) fries in mayonnaise. I personally do not like dipping my fries this way, because it is disgusting.
But the way that mayonaisse is used in Japan is truly filthy.
At my hoikuens, the teachers like to use plain mayo as their salad dressing. Nastiness.
How would you like a seafood pizza with octopus, shrimp, and clams? What could possibly make this worse?
Mayonnaise
Hmmmm... Is your white rice a little too plain? Why not just drown it in mayonnaise to give it some fatty goodness!
Wow! A hot dog baked into the bun! But whats that white stuff liberally drizzled on top and baked into it?
Mayonnaisse
Mayonnaise doused omelet? Yes Brian, it does exist...

To be fair, Japanese use of mayonnaise can yield some delicious results, but finding complementary combinations between food and this particular condiment have been exhausted. Thats it. Stick to the tried and true recipies.

What do you think you are doing? Don't be creative with mayonnaise. Be creative with beer. Be creative with hot sauce or other sauces. Be creative by creating art. Be creative in how you express yourself. Don't be creative expressing yourself in mayonnaise... It is not bold, nor is it brave. It is stupid and obnoxious. No, not everything is relative, these words are the truth, so shut up already!

5 Comments

ew. that's digusting. salad dressing?
mayonaise with broccoli.
yeah, tha's more like it.

Yo I used to be a mayo junkie but I cured myself with a Kewpie drip. Did you know Kewpie is made in Thailand?

Anyway, the slammingest use of mayo is to drop a big dollop in a Seafood flavored Cup Noodle after adding hot water and mix it up just before eating... Only the hardcore need try this.

Real Foods Mayonnaise is the only mayonnaise worth mentioning here. All others need not apply, including the aformentioned Kewpie Mayonnaise!
We may be doing an Atkins/Fat Flush/Low-carb/Low-fat diet, but when it comes to mayo, either use the Real Stuff or go away! :)

Actually, here in Australia, Seafood Pizza is kind of the norm as well. What you described actually sounds delicious, especially if you put Mayo on top of it. I'm dead serious. I think it's just a matter of getting used to it. Here in Australia, we get different types of Pizzas from Satay Chicken to Tandoori Chicken.

I like Satay chicken and Tandoori on top of my pizza. If you can handle a mix of various seafood and mayo on top of your pizza, it sounds like you would do just fine over here.

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This page contains a single entry by Adam published on November 29, 2003 12:27 PM.

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