November 18, 2003

The Oracle of Starbucks

As far as I can tell this Oracle is 100 percent accurate.

Posted by Adam at 10:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Ka-Thunk... Ka-Thunk... Ka-Thunk...

Ah, as long as we're on the subject of the good 'ol days, here is another memorable episode about roommate torture methods practiced and refined in the Sabado Tarde apartment. One day Steve went to soccer, and so we (which was usually me and Brian) seized an opportunity to pick on him. We
1. took all of his underwear, save one pair
2. soaked it in water
3. put it in the freezer
4. put a note that read "got underwear" in his empty drawer
5. waited
After two hours he came back exhausted. But instead of taking a shower, he went to go get something out of the freezer. His underwear, by now frozen into a solid cube, fell from the freezer with a THUD! Nothing needed to be said. He knew who did it, and he threw the frozen underwear at us. That mofo hurt, as it was pretty much a chunk of ice. But it was worth it! Steve took a shower, and threw his underwear in the dryer. He got more and more angry, and we laughed more and more, as the block went ka-thunk... ka-thunk... ka-thunk in the dryer. He should've been greatful that I had remembered to save him one pair of underwear, but for some reason he didn't find this act to be redeeming in the least. People can be so ungreatful!


As a post script, shizzolating this post yielded a decent re-write:

Ka-Thunk, know what I'm sayin'? .. Ka-Thunk, know what I'm sayin'? .. Ka-Thunk, know what I'm sayin'? ..

Ah, as long as we're on da subject of da gravy 'ol days, here is another memorable episode 'bout roommate torture methods practiced 'n refined in da Sabado Tarde apartment, know what I'm sayin'? One day Steve went soccer, 'n so we (which wuz usually me 'n Brian) seized an opportunity pick on tha dude's ass, know what I'm sayin'? We
1. took izzall of tha dude's underwear, save one pair
2. soaked that shiznit in H-2-Izzo
3. put that shiznit in da freezer
4. put a note that read "gots underwear" in tha dude's empty drawer
5. waited
After two hours tha dude came back exhausted, know what I'm sayin'? But instead of taking a shower, tha dude went go get something out of da freezer n' shit. His underwear, by now frozen into a solid cube, fell from da freezer wit a THUD! Nothing needed be be like, know what I'm sayin'? Tha dude knew who did that shiznit, 'n tha dude threw da frozen underwear at us." That mofo hurt, as that shiznit wuz pretty much a chunk of ice." But that shiznit wuz worth that shiznit! Steve took a shower, 'n threw tha dude's underwear in da dryer, know what I'm sayin'? Tha dude gots mo' 'n mo' angry, 'n we laughed mo' 'n mo', as da block went ka-thunk n' shit. .. ka-thunk, know what I'm sayin'? .. ka-thunk in da dryer." Tha dude should've been greatful that I had remembered save tha dude's ass one pair of underwear, but fo' some reason tha dude didn't find this act be redeeming in da least, know what I'm sayin'? Peeps can be so ungreatful!

Posted by Adam at 09:26 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Pain As Humor As An Effective Teaching Tool

My Japanese Teacher of English (JTE), Sato sensei, asks me to come up with stories that relate to the textbook often 5 minutes before we start class. This can be quite challenging because the text is super boring and whenever anyone looks at it you can literally see the glaze build up in their eyes.
Brian's comment made me remember this lesson, and I still feel the roadrash burning my face.
It was like this: The weather was perfect, so of course I had a midterm in an Anthropology course. While biking toward class, I saw Chris, so I pulled up next to him. He got this crazed look in his eyes, and it was understood that we would start racing. What ensued was not mutually understood. We got going at a pretty good speed, when I notice he is veering toward me and POW! He friggin side kicks me, and the next thing I knew I was sprawled out on the bike path in front of the Anthropology building, fellow bikers going around some poor jackass on the tarmac. Roadkill. But it was OK because luckily the right side of my face bore the full impact of the crash. Seeing red, I ignored his apologies, shook off the mental haze, and biked to class. Fucking Ben Hur motherfucker ass shit bitch! Ooooh, I would get payback! I was a minute late, and everyone looked at me, or rather they gawked at my abraised face, as I slipped into a vacant seat. I finished the test, and afterwards I went to the restroom to assess the damage. I had asphalt and dried black blood lodged in my scrapes, which I cleaned out at the apartment with lots of Q-tips and of course, hydrogen peroxide. It was only after I finished my 4 years at UCSB it dawned on me. Bikes are just not for some people, and by "some people" I mean "me".
My story blended seamlessly with that of the textbook, and the students actually paid attention and understood my English. Now if only I had a story to match every one of the the textbook's.

Posted by Adam at 09:14 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack