March 29, 2004

Craptacular!

This weekend was just what I needed. I took a roadtrip down to Miyazaki City for the Cheesy Disco Party with Mark and Joe Fingerhut to meet up with the usual suspects. To say that things got out of control would be an understatement, and there are many good stories from Saturday night, but I will limit myself to posting an email I got from Joe Debiec:

Dude, shit is natural.
Mine is toxic. God speed.
I am nasty. Please forgive
it was funny at the time,
but now I feel like crap...
no pun intended.

I will let you ponder the meaning of this email, and give you some pictures from Yabe in Southeast Kumamoto to look at while you're thinking.
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This is Tsujyun bridge, famous for shooting sustained arches of water out of both sides, just above the apex of the stone arch. On the day we went, they had turned the water off...

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They're pretty good at making things out of wood. I'm good at burning things, but unfortunately I didn't have any matches.

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Musashi has two wooden swords, like one that you start out with in the very beginning of The Legend of Zelda.

Hey, watch where you point that thing!
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This guy has a serious tanuki boner.

OK, back to the story. Admittance to the disco party was 2,500 yen, and it included unlimited drinks for the night, "a bargain!" I thought. We knew it was going to be "one of those nights" right away when we ordered our first round of screwdrivers. The girl behind the bar (calling her a bartender would be streching the truth a little too much) took out some plastic bottle vodka, mixed in some generic orange flavor beverage syrup, and added soda water. It tasted like orange flavored pediatric flourinated mouthwash with carbonation. Seeing as the only liquor available came in large plastic jugs (as do Popov, Lucky Charcoal Filter Vodka, and other forms of rubbing alcohol), I stuck with shochu and tea for the night and was content.

The night got pretty wild, and eventually we made it back by 5 in the morning. At 11:05 A.M., Joe D calls me up apologizing profusely, and I thought that it was just a joke. I was mistaken. After a nice breakfast and checking out "Ed from Miyazaki's" nice collection of vinyl, his Technics, and GTA Vice City, we finally got to my car. Sitting on top is a paper bag from McDonalds. Just as he said, he had done a bad job of wiping, and there were finger-smudged bits of feces on the edge of the bag. Inside was a full loaf, and spent napkins. This pile had been allowed to bake in the sun all day, and was so toxic that it left a small stain on the roof of my car. I didn't "Just drive off really fast..." so that "...it will fall off the back." as he suggested. I was shocked to hear Joe tell me that he had left a bag of his own shit on my car, but I wasn't really surprised. Ah, what a good weekend, even if I did have to deal some shit. The only thing is that I don't really know how to one-up him. I could always wipe some crap on his face when he is sleeping, like that guy does on CKY2K, but maybe I will just pee on him... My friends are a bunch of disgusting degenerates, heh.

Posted by Adam at 5:55 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

March 26, 2004

Life In Transit

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This picture is how I have been feeling for the past two weeks. The weather has been improving and the buds on the sakura trees are about to bust open, but I am in a cloudy mood. There are beams of light piercing through the ominous layers, but they are in the background and overwhelmed at the moment. This week I have gone to too many graduations in Ubuyama. Monday was Ubuyama Chugakko, Wednesday was Yamaga Shogakko, and today was Ubuyama Hoikuen and Nambu Hoikuen.

To me Japanese graduations are about three things: tears, bows, and boring speeches (there are good speeches too, but these usually fall under the "tears" category). I stopped counting how many times I bowed, but 100 for this week seems like a good guess. Sometimes when I'm not thinking I look at the person's face to whom I am bowing, a vestigal habit from taking Tae Kwon Do when I was 5 (my Sensei explained that one should NEVER take their eyes off of their opponent at ANY time. now that man was truly a badass!) and sometimes I do the proper deep immersion eyes-cast-to-the-toes bow. I wish that they would just adopt the handshake to replace bowing at these events. It just seems silly to have each person giving a speech bow a minimum of 6 times, especially when others must also bow unless, of course, the flag is being bowed down to.It has been an ordeal, having to listen to the same speeches over and over by the same old men, and sit quietly watching and empathizing with the children who are trying their best not to fidget. I have used much of this time to meditate, leaving my body and mind on auto-bow mode.

As for the crying, I am just not used to seeing so many people- students, teachers, parents, and spectators both male and female- cry with such intensity and with no shame at expressing these feelings. I think its cool how they are so open to everyone on this special occasion, but I can't relate. Sure, graduations are sad but I was always overjoyed to be freed of the classes and homework with prospects of a summer spent at the beach in the immediate future. I have to admit, I got a little misty and had a couple of lumps in my throat as I heard the little girls trying to give speaches on how greatful they were to the teachers who they were leaving behind. I suppose this was a very gratifying experience for everyone, in a sad sort of way.

Almost all of my favorite teachers are leaving from Ubuyama in one fell swoop. One is going on pregnancy leave, one is moving to Saga-ken, and the rest have been transferred to different schools. I feel like I am being forced to repeat my senior year of high school, as all of my friends are going off to different colleges, but I am happy for the ones that didn't get shafted by the switch and sorry for the ones who did.

Also, this week is the last time that I got to chill at the separate hoikuens, with my separate groups of children and teachers. No lessons, just pure 100% playtime with the little ones, and long chats with the nursery school teachers (these teachers are not subject to switching. this is the most stable type of teaching job in Japan if one wants to work in the same place for a long period of time). No one seems especially happy about being joined into one hoikuen for the village, but it makes financial sense for them. Ubuyama hoikuen is to become more of a daycare service- some of the kids are going to be spending 6 out of 7 days there, for up to 12 hours a day! If you have kids, or have taught pre-school and kintergarten, then you know why this will 1. be rough on the teachers, and 2. not be the best situation for the children. But what do I, the token gaijin, know about anything? So I just watch and deal with it.

Some of my favorite children will be moving as well, but as much as I will miss them I am glad because they seem excited about moving (I think I would too). In a way, this is good because saying goodbye in July will be much easier. I'm pleased with my decision to not stay for a 3rd year in this village, as much as I love the children here. Its time to go, and this point continues to be driven home.

But things are looking better already. Perhaps some cool, talented teachers will replace my friends (but I can't imagine that they can fully measure up to these great teachers. it just doesn't seem possible right now). I know that I am going to have a blast in my classes in April, and have some new ideas that I want to try to get the students motivated. For now, its time to pack for a weekend in sunny Miyazaki. Finally I get to enjoy this great weather at the beach and forget about this week.

Posted by Adam at 5:54 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

March 25, 2004

Bento

Calling a bento a "lunch box" doesn't do it justice. It is a lunch box in the sense that sometimes it comes in the shape of a box (and sometimes not), it often has the picture of a cultural icon on the lid (My Little Pony, Ultra-man, He-Man, Hamutaro, and Mr. T. come immediately to mind), and it contains a lunch inside. However, lunch boxes are typically comparatively massive, rectangular in shape, and have a hinged door that clasps tightly shut by two levered latches, located next to the handle of the lunch box. Examples of typical contents found in a lunch boxes include a thermos (usually full of milk or soup), a sandwich, some vegetable sticks, a bag of chips or cookies, a box of juice, and a stick of string cheese. It is also interesting to note that most people stop using lunch boxes after leaving elementary school and switch to the brown paper bag as the vessel of choice for their midday meals. I fondly remember my lunch box, but its contents were always predictable and partly pre-packaged. Opening a bento is more of a mini-adventure.

If you are lucky there may be treasures under the lid of the bento bako, just waiting for you to uncover them at lunch time. Geisha Asobi has some interesting glimpses Japanese culture, including a link to some few highly stylized bento designs. As for a bento that emphasizes equality in form and function, I like these bento made by Mizuko Ito, who examines the question "Are bento an artistic form of motherly love, or are they just another oppresive tool used to shape Japanese society?". Anyhow, you may notice that these bento pictures have been snapped from a cellular phone camera (she also studies the effects that cellphones have on society- pretty interesting stuff), like the ones on Justin's moblog, or the smaller pictures that I was posting up until the demise of the camera on my D251.

This is diverging from the bento theme of this post but still related, in the sense that if your bento contained some undercooked meat or fish you might grow a 28 foot-long friend in your intestines.

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Out Of The Loop

The Japanese educational system is so frusterating sometimes. It seems that the head honchos on one side and the grunts on the other are working with very different agendas, completely seperated while working on the very same projects. They call the shots based on inferences, deductions, hypothesis, research, and other forms of information processing yet keep themselves pretty well insulated from the body of the operation.

You would think that they (the kencho, the kyoikuinkai, and the other people who call the shots) would want to get to know what the grunts on the frontline think of the decisions, kind of like an engineer physically examining the physical incarnation of their sketches and talking to the test pilots who come to know the capabilities of their aircraft based on intimate knowledge as well as study of the designs. It may be the engineer who designs the plane, but it's really the asses of the pilots and planes that are on the line should anything go wrong. You would think that these people would know how valuable direct input from the teachers, who know their classes and the materials and their plans better than anyone else, really is because these same people were probably also teachers before they got appointed to their lofty positions. With great powers come great responsibility, you would think...

See, that's where you're wrong. They don't seem to care what you think. Independent thinking and any form of dissent is discouraged among the same peer groups and especially from those belonging to the lower castes, even if it may be painfully clear that a change would be greatly beneficial. The nerves may scream out in pain from being cut and rubbed in salt and lime juice, but the synapses are being jammed, the attention is directed elsewhere.

To be fair, sometimes they get things right. Sometimes they implement good, well thought out policies that work really well. Sometimes. But wouldn't it be better if they could do it faster, more efficiently, and more democratically? Keeping things the same may be orderly and produce consistent results, but how many of us would prefer a perfect McClone cheeseburger over a Fatburger (they taste a bit different at the different locations and depending on who is making them, especially when you order them with more toppings and condiments)?

The words above could be in used a myriad of contexts, by many people that you know, and probably by you too. I just wonder if any of the people who are in positions of greater power and responsibility used to feel this way, and if they still do. Have there been any significant changes recently in the infrastructure of the Japanese educational system, and will it eventually change for the better any time in the foreseeable future? I truly hope so, but I have my doubts.

Posted by Adam at 4:59 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

March 24, 2004

Pain

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A unwilling visit to the Monterey branch of the Bubba Gump Shrimp franchise.

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March 23, 2004

Memories Of Little Saigon

Visiting Little Saigon, unlike other designated ethnic areas, gives me the feeling that I'm in a place that lives up to its namesake. Short of a trip to the real Saigon, it is as authentic an experience that you will ever get, smack in the middle of the O.C.. It's an island made up mostly of people with black hair and brown eyes and names like Nguyen, Pham, Trung and Minh (and some guy named Dr. Phouck) within the homogenous racial mix of Southern California. You know this place is legit Southeast Asia style, as 90% of the cars in Little Saigon have, at the very least, one obvious dent or scratch. If you're looking for cheap imported goods, look no further than the Asian Garden Mall, full of all sorts of strange smells, cheap knockoffs, and stuff you can't find anywhere else. When you walk in a Vietnamese supermarket, you can see black patches where the linoleum has peeled off. If you order a catfish from the tank, the butcher will grab one by the tail and smash its head into the concrete, wrapping its still quivering body (now that's a fresh piece of fish!) in a pink sheet of butcher paper. And it smells of Southeast Asia: lychee, rotting detritus, urine, etc...

But the main reason to go to L.S. is for the food, namely the Pho Restaraunts.
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For all of you wondering what type of sauce is in the green capped bottle in front of Justin, that is called Shiracha and is arguably as versatile a condiment as ketchup is. Now look at the bowl in the bottom of the frame. This is the infamous bowl of Pho (no. 10), the prime suspect for causing my bout of projectile vomiting and diarrhea on Christmas Eve. However, I like the pho so much that I plan on eating it again on my next visit. After all, whats a little projectile vomit and diarrhea now and again. A fair trade-off for eating great food, I say.

Pho is not a complicated dish, and that's one of the reasons why it tastes so good. Its a simple rice noodle soup with a light beef broth, some meat, and assorted vegetables and herbs. I have eaten pho in Japan, Santa Barbara, Seattle, and other random places, but the best pho I have eaten so far is in Little Saigon.

Pho should be eaten with an order of cha gio and a glass full Vietnamese style iced coffee.
chagiao.jpg If your cha gio arrive cold, with old vegetables and no fish sauce, you should be very worried. If they come still sputtering out steam with ample freshly washed vegetables and a bowl full of fish sauce, be prepared to cry (from burning your tongue AND from the sublime flavors that your olfactory system will eventually register after the pain fades away).

The egg rolls above are known as cha gio. The filling is usually seasoned pork and rice vermicelli. They taste great by themselves, but the taste awesome if you wrap them in a fresh leaf of lettuce, along with some Vietnamese pickled daikon and carrot slices, and dip them in the nuoc mam (badass stinky fish sauce- don't be scared!). Eat them right when they come out of the frier if possible, when they are still capable of causing third degree burns. Bite off a piece and use the lettuce to shield your tongue from the intense heat as you inhale and exhale rapidly in an attempt to cool down the morsel. Trust me on this. A Vietnamese meal would not be complete without a cup of Vietnamese coffee. The coffee comes dripping from a cheap metal aparatus, into a small mug holding a generous amount of condensed milk. By the time you are half-way finished with your meal, the coffee should be completely filtered and ready to pour into the ice-filled cup.. I love this coffee because it is as thick as a cappuccino, and creamy and sweet due to the condensed milk. Iced coffee is the only way to go, and the caffeine counter-balances the urge to siesta.

There are many other mysterious, often delicious foods to be eaten in Little Saigon. The sandwitches are cheap and kick major ass (picture a sub sandwitch with butter, pate, roasted pork, vietnamese pickled vegetables, jalapenos, and lettuce), the deserts look like they were taken from the set of Star Trek, and their take on French cuisine is truly refreshing.

So if you do end up coming to Orange County, don't wuss out and go to El Torito, Applebees, or P.F. Chang's after spending all of your time and money at Disneyland. Go to the beach instead and after that get your ass down to Little Saigon, experience an adrenaline rush from almost getting into an accident, and enjoy some truly interesting and delicious food!

As for pronouncing Vietnamese words, good luck. I just point at the pictures in the menu and ask for things politely in English. This may be unfounded, but I get the feeling that these dudes are more likely to spit in your food if they think that you are a prick. At least they're not sneaky about it, like the clowns over at El Torrito.

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March 22, 2004

Jump Picture Start

A jump in front of Kaimon-dake, Kagoshima. Props to Kaori Tanaka, the photographer.
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Taking good jump pictures requires a few things including but not limited to a steady hand, good timing, interesting locations, and a willing partner or group. The jumper must be willing to jump off of whatever will make the picture look its best. The photographer should be ready to place themselves in the location which provides the best angle to shoot from, framing a shot so that the captured environment will complement the jump. Both of these roles can be dangerous, and in the case of the photographer the danger may come from the jumper smashing into them. The photographer and jumper should change roles occasionally, depending on whose turn it is.

A few years back, I took part in a collaborative project with Justin, Sayaka, and Taro in taking various jump pictures. On our Kyushu roadtrip we stopped at various scenic areas and shot up countless rolls of film, a good portion of which involved us jumping. We jumped off of high places, took running jumps, flip jumps, jumped into things, onto things, etc... Some of the jumps were foolish to try and invited injury, but taking chances is how one takes part in greatness.

So now I think I will try and revive the project, maybe make it an interblog project with Justin and possibly Taro (if he should ever start writing again). Of course feel free to send in your own jump pics, and I will post any good ones that I see. Just don't cry to me if you hurt yourself or someone else in pursuit of a jump picture. That's just part of the price for such high-stakes photography.

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March 21, 2004

Hifuri Asobi

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Me playing with fire. Picture courtesy of Ben Colbridge.

This is the last picture that I will post, for now. I can not stress how much I love this particular festival. For those interested in participating, it takes place every year in mid March (at Aso Shrine, located in Japan, Kumamoto-ken, Aso-gun, Ichinomiya-machi). Though not as dangerous as some of the more famous matsuris, such as the one where a hundred people ride a huge log down a hill (people get crushed under the log) or the festivals in which massive floats are carried or pulled through busy streets lined with spectators (even more people get crushed to death by crashes and trampling) or drunken horse festivals where you can get kicked in the face (death by severe head wounds or other internal injuries), the fire swinging festival feels very dangerous in comparison.

Everyone is a pyro at heart, except for those with unfortunate phobias dealing with fire. We all love to play with fire. Fireworks, flammable liquids, matches, barbecues, campfires, blowtorches, the kitchen stove, the bunsen burner in Chem. We have all melted action figures and Barbie dolls, disposed of incriminating report cards, exterminated pesky insects, shot bottle rockets at dear friends, watched meat sizzle on the grill, and just stared into the flames in a hypnotized state. These are no less fun experiences than the fire festival, but a religious ceremony that invites anyone to take part in such a wild and seemingly dangerous activity makes the experience more profound. Hell, if there was fire swinging after Mass, I would probably go to church occasionally with my Catholic friends.

Posted by Adam at 2:07 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

27 Views Of Jigoku

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March 20, 2004

Hifurishinji

The hissing swoosh, the flaming orbit of a fiery body in motion. Yes, that sillhouetted object in the background, just under the flame, is someone's leg.
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The booming thunder of Taiko drums. Unorganized, erratic swinging of massive fireballs, participation available to all who dare enter the fiery grounds of hell. Orange flames gnawing free of their tethers of smouldering rope, smashing into people, to whom I am telling stories of this very same scenario from last year to, at this very moment. Smoke in the eyes, and stepping in piles of combusting combustibles. Braving all of this to take pictures. Me and my friends and many more strangers in a strange land. More to follow...

Posted by Adam at 9:18 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

English Engrish

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I saw this and I pictured James Bond looking at the Man with the Golden Gun as he says "Bond, I'm gonna bust a cap in yo' ass, Cracka! Any last words?", with the Golden Barrel pointed steadily in the middle of Bond's head. Bond chews on some grape flavored Bubblicious, blows a huge bubble, pops it, and repeats. The Man, in an uncharacteristic display of emotion, shows his anger and disgust by hastily cocking the Golden Hammer. With a smile on his face, Bond spits the gum out into his thumb and forefinger, and sticks the purple wad into the glinting barrel. The man is so completely and utterly shocked that he merely stares while this is happening, with his jaw dropped in disbelief that the Golden Gun could be violated in such a casual and sacreligious manner.

As you can see, these words on a simple can of "gum" put a really bizarre picture into my head, and it its not even a Japanese product. Holt's is a British company. Ah, those crazy Brits! To us Americans, "Lorry" is a girl's name , a boot is something that a cowboy wears instead of a shoe, and "I'm dying to smoke a fag!" has an entirely different meaning. Also, for the record, a windshield is the window that shields the occupants of a vehicle from the wind. If it was a real windscreen (a screen, such as is used to keep insects from passing through an open window), it would allow the wind and rain and anything small enough to pass through the small holes to smack everyone in the face. While this screen would filter out most insects, the momentum of their impact would pulverize and scatter their dismembered body parts all over everyone.

So back to the picture at the top; what is this product from the U.K.?

The Answer.
Hint: it is not what James Bond uses to patch up the silencer on his Walther P.P.K. after he uses it to deflect a laser beam.

Posted by Adam at 7:13 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Sad News...

It seems that 3 of my relatives of whom I have never heard of before, a Mr. Douglas Yoshida and family (of my country), have passed away in a car accident far off in Nigeria. I was contacted by a "barrister" (that's foreigner English for "lawyer", for all of us proper English-speaking Americans) who is most likely a partner of a certain Mr. Ahmed Saleh. This is clearly the work of fate, as I have recently been working on a genealogy project with the rest of my family in order to find out more about my roots.

Dear Yoshida,

I am Barrister FUNMI FOLORUNSO,a solicitor at law.I am the personal attorney to Mr Douglas Yoshida,national of your country, who used to work with a National Petroleum company (NPC)in Nigeria.Here in after shall be referred to as my client.On the 21st of April 2000,my lient, his wife and their only daughter were involved in a car accident along sagbama express road.

All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost there lives. Since then I have made several enquiries to your embassy here to locate any of my clients extended relatives,this has also proved unsuccessful.After these several unsuccessful attempts,I decided to track his last name over the Internet,to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you.

I have contacted you to assist in repartrating the fund valued at US$13 million Left behind by my client before it gets Confisicated or declared unserviceable by the Security Finance Firm where this huge amount were deposited. The said Security Finance company has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confisicated within the next fourteen official working days.

For the fact that I have been unsuccesfull in locating the relatives for over 3 years now, I seek the consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased,since you have the same last name with my client, so that the proceeds of this account can be paid to you. Therefore, on receipt of your positive response, we shall then discuss the sharing ratio and modalities for transfer.

I have all necessary information and legal documents needed to back you up for claim. All I require from you is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction through.I guarantee that this will be executed under legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.

Please get in touch with me through this email: [excelchambers8@yahoo.com]or through my direct telephone number 234-1-474-1584 as for more tails.

Best regards,

BARRISTER FUNMI FOLORUNSO
EXCEL CHAMBERS AND PARTNERS
BARRISTER FUNMI FOLORUNSO
DIRECT TEL: 234-1-474-1584

Hmmmm... Thats a lot of money. I feel so special to have been picked by Mr. Folorunso over my parents and kin.

On a serious note, the way that "Mr. Folorunso" (the official looking website is a nice touch, but a strong reminder that the internet is a dubious source of information and. Research that cites internet sources should always be double-checked at the very least to verify its validity.

This Nigerian scam is pretty low. Although fictional, I feel an inexplicable sense of loss for Mr. D. Yoshida and family, even though they died almost 4 years ago and also because I have never heard of them until today. I wonder if the D. Yoshida he speaks of is from the U.S. or Japan...

Posted by Adam at 4:49 PM | Comments (77) | TrackBack

March 17, 2004

A Month Of Fire

In Aso, the whole month of March is dedicated to celebrating fire in various ways. It is a traditional practice to light one's field, full of the dried out stalks and chaff left over from last year's harvest, on fire. This not only provides entertainment, but it also looks cool and serves to fertilize the earth.

Well, if you have never been to Aso, then you have never seen the tall, super-fast growing ocean of grass that ripples in the summer breeze. This grass, aside from bamboo, is the fastest growing grass that I know of. Once late Spring rolls around, the farmers will let their cows loose in the stuff, and they don't have to worry about feeding them after that point. In the Fall, the tractors will come out and harvest great wheels of dried grass, much like hay is harvested in other rural areas for fodder. Despite all of this consumption, much grass is left untouched.

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A typical hill in Ubuyama-mura, covered in lots of dry grass.

So now comes the fire part. In order to clear way for the new grass, massive areas of grassland are set ablaze every year. From a distance, you can see a great swath of bright orange flames consuming the dried grass, climbing up the mountain with surprising speed. Much ash has been falling from the smoky skies as of late.

A couple of weekends ago in Aso town, there was a famous fire festival where they burned huge kanji into the mountain at night time. I wasn't there because I went to Kuju instead, and I am glad. People who went told me that the cold sapped all of the fun out of the experience. However, the best festival is coming up: the fire swinging festival is tomorrow. Last year, I saw what appeared to be a man being immolated by flames unintentionally, as a fireball that had burned through the straw rope tether shot towards him as if by the hands of Ryu. The burning mass of straw exploded on his mid-section and swirled around him, but he was unhurt. So of course this year I will once again brave this crazy spectacle and try and take some good pictures of people swinging fire around without any regard for anyone else's safety. If you are ever in Kumamoto during mid-March, this festival is not to be missed at any cost!

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March 14, 2004

White Day

Today, and every other March 14th, is White Day. On White Day, Japanese guys traditionally give cookies to women who they like, or who hooked them up with chocolate on Valentines Day. That's right, over here Valentines Day is the day where the ladies make romantic plans and give presents and sweets to the guys.

Where did White Day come from? I have no idea whatsoever, but I do know that you can't go into a convenience store without seeing a huge display with cookies, chocolates, and assorted gifts for this peculiar holiday. I kinda like the idea of mutually exclusive holidays based on gender, because it encourages reciprocation. Let's face it, although girls do nice things for guys on V-day, the bulk of the expectations lie on the dude.

I was pleased to see that some momentum has been building behind setting up an American version of White Day. Its ironic that this time it is a Japanese idea that has been improved on by Americans instead of vice versa. The Japanese may build more reliable cars and electronics, but surely they would even approve of this.

Posted by Adam at 8:35 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 12, 2004

Yet More News Of Spam

The largest Spam musubi in world history will be rolled in Hawaii later this April. Apparently, the Spam Jam restaraunt has successfully branched out into an official chain. It's now only a matter of time before it arrives in the continental U.S., and it becomes another trendy "ethnic food". Now is probably a good time to buy stock in Hormel.

All of this recent talk and news of spam has made me decide to pop open the one can that I have in reserve next week to make kimchee and mayonaisse spam musubi. Ah, good food puts me in the best moods. I think that most people really like food, but I'm beginning to suspect that I like food more than most people do...


Other favorite highly processed meat-based products:

Farmer John's sausages (in both link and patty form)- It is mandatory to use the sausages to scrape up the yolk of a busted sunnyside up egg, picking up some of the fried egg whites on their way into your mouth. Tastes even better when you add the crunch of hot, buttered toast to the mouthful of goodness.

Bologna and bologna-like cold cuts except for head cheese or any other loaf in the "just plain nasty" category (like this for example)- fried with eggs and served on a steaming pile of rice (with gravy sounds awesome- yet to be attempted, but sure to be delicious).

Hot dogs- preferably grilled over a bonfire while listening to oldies and watching the sun set with family and friends in Huntington Beach. Necessary condiments include ketchup, mustard, sauerkraut, sweet relish, cheddar cheese, and scalding hot chili. And what the hell, a little sand adds to the sentimental flavor.

Costco hot dogs- this gets its own listing because Costco hotdogs (traditionally Hebrew National, but also some other kosher brand called something like Sinai hotdogs or Westbank wieners or something) come with a refillable cup- something that is really special to one who has been living in Japan for so long- and also because it was often the last course that we ate when we had college brunch of free samples on Saturday afternoons in college. Yes, one of the secrets of streching that all mighty buck when eating out was taking advantage of free condiments, particularly those which were unsupervised and offered inexhaustible supplies. Take note, young ones.

Braunschweiger- its not only delicious, but its also just plain fun to say! I think that the only way to eat this is on hot toast. This is one of the very few liver dishes that I enjoy eating. The only other liver that I like is horse liver- when served extremely fresh and cold, with some sesame oil and shoyu, it is one of the more surprisingly good types of sashimi that I have yet encountered.


BTW, you can look up all of the meat products that I have listed on this page, if you are interested in seeing what they are made of. I took a good, long look at how much fat and sodium all of them contain, and I can't really say that it had any effect on my appetite whatsoever. I will continue to eat beef despite BSE (although not American as of late), and I will continue to eat poultry products despite the avian flu situation (cooking it makes it safe, or so I am hoping). Making bad choices despite being informed. You can have all the knowledge in the world, but it won't make any difference unless you ACT upon it. Time for a big fat bologna sandwitch!

Posted by Adam at 8:56 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

In The Bathroom Of Isla Vista

It doesn't happen often but once in a great long while, I swear that I'm still living in good ol' Isla Vista. Not necessarily one place in particular (D.P., Picasso, or Sabado Tarde) but rather, a composite of all of the places together. Other experiences have taken me back as well. Like when a really drunk acquaintance did a cannonball onto the hood of a car, scaring a woman nearly to death in front of a busy street(the Shimatori) that had, until that point, been buzzing the lively conversations of the nightlife. Or almost getting into a fight with an old man that looked like Bilbo Baggins with each arm around a prostitute (he-the old white guy- said they-the two high school-aged 100% Japanese girls- were his daughters... we begged to differ and vocalized this), after he made derogatory remarks about Yanks while pushing his way through a group of 5 inebriated Americans.

But I seem to have a strange connection with shady bathrooms (not restrooms, keep in mind, but rooms which happen to have baths in them). When I moved in to my current residence, there was much wrong with the plumbing and the tile was stained with strange growth (kinda like the Picasso apartment with the Shiitake mushroom growing out of the shower) and rich with the smells of death and decay. Also, the tile was cracked in many places (the result of an earthquake a few years prior). Well, I cleaned the place up, bleaching the evil away, but my bathroom has given me no end of troubles. The bath is large enough to fit two full-sized Sumo wrestlers, the hot water runs out on really cold nights (boiling water to take a "shower" really, really sucks!), and I need to use a heater to keep from catching pneumonia after I get out.

Last month I heard a great crash, and walked in only to see this:
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I had to laugh. I knew that it probably happened because some trapped water that rested between the concrete and the tile froze and expanded, destroying the bond of the adhesive in the process. But that was no help at all, merely a boring footnote. It was one of THOSE moments. Its not that this was a big deal, as it was really easy to clean up, but it just brought back memories of bad luck (that in retrospect, was often the result of bad judgement). After shooting this picture, what else could I do but pop open a Sam Adams (a very rare beer in Kumamoto, or for that matter, everywhere in Kyushu except for the Costco in Fukuoka) lay down on the sofa, and watch reruns of the Simpsons which I had already seen at least 10 times before...

Posted by Adam at 1:44 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

March 11, 2004

Wild Rice

Ah, taking pictures of ridiculous vehicles in Japan (or fashion, or English usage, or... well, you get the point...) is like shooting fish in a barrel with a 12 gauge, however, I like these animobiles. I kind of wish that they had huge wings protruding from their backs.

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In Oita-ken, they have an African Safari amusement park, where you can sit behind caged panels in one of these busses watching bored lions sleeping, and various Pavlovian-trained African animals feeding from strategically placed troughs. You can also get your picture with a baby lion, which will surely contribute to the impossibility of it ever being considered to reintroduced into the wild due to desesitization. It may, however, have an opportunity to move in with Seigfreid and Roy.

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Those who incite their wrath will tremble under the collective gaze of the Animobiles.

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If there ever comes a time where I have to make a choice, I will choose the Rhinomobile to destroy all challengers in demolition derby.

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Posted by Adam at 8:19 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 9, 2004

Animal Mimics And An Ample Supply Of Venison

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These animal-plants, sitting along the side of the Yamanami in Ubuyama, remind me of the work of Edward Scissorhands. They sit alone, with a small shack to the right, a pen full of mangy deer to the left, and the Aso mountain range in the distance. I have no idea if the person who maintains these sells them, or if they are just someone's privately owned topiary garden.

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I thought this (what do you call these things? I'll just use the word...) sculpture was pretty skillfully trimmed. I want to come back here on a night when the full moon is out and take more pictures.

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Though these deer are not the primest of specimens, at least they're not as dirty or mean as the deer in Nara. They are most definetely not afraid of people because just like in Nara, people buy bags of sembei (rice crackers, that are sold for 100 yen) to feed them.

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Dunno why, but visiting this crappy petting zoo made me want to eat venison. I think its because I know that the small pen that these deer are kept in has probably made their flesh nice and tender...

Posted by Adam at 5:55 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

March 8, 2004

Jelly-Coated Meatloaf

Heh, a restaraunt that specializes in Spam based dishes opened in the Phillipines last year and is doing some kick-ass business. I wonder how my fellow Japanese living in Kumamoto would react to Spam musubi... I think that I will sneak some thinly sliced slabs of Spam in to my next enkai (drinking party) and change them out with the basashi. I am willing to bet that small browned slices of Spam will taste pretty good when coupled with onions that are cut paper-thin, a leaf of shiso, and some thick shoyu.

Why is spam so reviled in the continental U.S. and so celebrated by Asians? I wonder what Europeans make of spam- do Norwegians celebrate spam like their Viking forefathers did? In any case, the reason why I don't eat spam on a regular basis isn't because I don't like it. I just think the price of spam is a bit too high, and I only like to eat a little spam at a time. One thing that really creeps me out about spam, though, is the jelly that helps the loaf to ooze out of the can- watching the loaf work its way out of the canal somehow brings to mind nature documentary footage of wild animals giving birth. After that, I cannot help but feeling a little bit like Kronos eating his young Titan children.

Posted by Adam at 6:43 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

March 7, 2004

This Weekend's Drive Pictures

"You live where? How many people live in your village? What do you do out there?": These are the three questions that people always seem to ask when they first meet me. The answers are:

1. Ubuyama
2. Under 2000 people and falling
3. Many things, but I really enjoy driving.

Here are a few pics that I shot over the weekend while driving. The views around here are spectacular and the variety of driving conditions and roads are as varied as you can get.

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This is a picture I shot on the Yamanami highway (also known as the 11) on my way down to Ichinomiya. This road has great views from the top of the caldera and snakes through the gentle rolling hills of Ubuyama, eventually taking you through Kokonoe, Kuju, Yufuin, and eventually Beppu.

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A full moon rises among clouds scattered in the twilight. This was taken in Ichinomiya from the beginning of the Yamanami (it starts from the 57, near Aso shrine). I was late meeting a friend, otherwise I would have stopped to take some pictures of the beautiful night sky.

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Ah, last night was one time where I was more than happy to drive well below the posted speed limit. I even turned the radar detector off for once. Why is it still snowing in March? I dunno, but it gave me a chance to use the chains that I bought at Autobacs (yes, Autobacs is a Japanese company). It was pitch-black when I started climbing the mountain road into Kuju and pulled off to the side, of the road. I had to work in a blizzard using the light on my cellphone to see what I was doing. I drove through the raging tempest on a road that was fully covered with snow, and didn't see one car for 45 minutes straight. The snow was so deep that mine were the only tracks visible on the road. The winds whipped the snow into dancing mini-hurricaines, and swishing around in snake-like movements. The snow seemed to move like a composite of tumbling sands and rising steam, riding the strong currents on the ground.

There's something really exhilarating about entrusting your safety to something which has time and time again pulled through for you whenever you needed it to. When all ends well, after you take that long relieved sigh, it was really worth it (but if all goes to hell, then your mood will probably turn sour and humiliation is likely to handed out in liberal portions). Last night, I strapped on my chains, and decided to meet up with everybody because had enough confidence in my car to see me through safely to the other side of the mountain. Driving was surreal. I can honestly say that I had a blast driving through those extreme conditions. On top of that, I had a blast playing drinking games inside a warm cabin on a cold and stormy night.

If it keeps on snowing, then I think I might take my snowboard up to Kuju pass next weekend! But I hope the weather gets warmer, because its hard to type when your fingers are stiff and numb.

Posted by Adam at 6:28 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 4, 2004

Your New Favorite Character

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Dude, you know this shit is dope! Pooper has a one man show, and you couldn't look away even if you wanted to. I think that the word "poop" is not used enough in the right context. "Pooper scooper" just sounds lame, but when a little guy named "Pooper" is cheerfully flippin' the bird while getting a piggyback ride (from a bigger Pooper) it not only makes sense- it was Destiny.

On a side note, look at how baby Pooper has his head turned way over to the left, while he is extending his backhand way out to the right. If you try to do this, you will notice how hard it is to adequately present the middle finger clearly without straining. Clearly, the kid is talented.
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Look at how this picture is framed. Widescreen, just like a movie. Brings Resevoir Dogs to mind for some reason. Notice that although the Pooper who is about to be executed is keeping his cool, and the bead of sweat rolling down his "Simpson yellow" forehead is the only indication of his true mental state. Or maybe Poopers are always happy no matter what, and under their omnipresent state of happiness are other layers of emotion. Maybe its just a hot day. Even though one of them is about to execute the other they both look like they are having a good time, and isn't that what its really all about?

Pooper looks like Qoo, but Pooper is a bad muthafucka (thanks to C. B.'s Hasty Musings) and Qoo is merely the mascot of a tasty line of beverages in Japan. Other pictures include a WWF/Mad Max king of the ring where they are all Mortal Kombatting eachother, Pooper taking a poop, Pooperette letting out a noxious fart cloud, and many more with Pooper giving the finger. The act of giving the finger, much like the act of exacting revenge, is best done with a smile on one's face. It makes the experience that much more satisfying, and adds insult to injury.

Posted by Adam at 10:27 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

March 3, 2004

Aeon Flux: The Movie!

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(Credit: http://zed.9hells.org)

About ten years ago Anime was not really mainstream, at least not to the degree that it is today. I mean, we had a bunch of good dubbed imports but American animation had nothing really to compete with Japanese Anime, in terms of excitement, raw energy, and coolness. Except for Aeon Flux, that is. Aeon Flux was kinda noir-ish, and kinda cyberpunk: a future dystopia with lots of action and a fast paced story. I remember that I had to stay up late past my bedtime to watch this series on Liquid TV, abut the consequenses of getting in trouble were well worth it. Now, it seems that the movie is finally going to happen! And its not gonna be starring Angelina Jolie, either (that would have been my prediction). If the movie successfully interprets the cartoon, then this is gonna be one badass flick.

Read more about whats going on here.

Posted by Adam at 3:37 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

Yufuin Car Museum

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The Yufuin Car Museum is in bad shape. If you look closely at the mural, you can make out areas where the wallpaper glue has decomposed. Also, this room is so small, that it is impossible to take a good photo that shows off the whole car. I'm sure that it must've looked much better 30 years ago...


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I want to see how people react to hearing me say that "I drive a midget".


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A powered tricycle- this is a direct ancestor of the modern tuk-tuk.


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You can't really tell in this picture, but the black mechanic has a huge smile on his face. Why? I can only guess that he is much happier to be working on a Model T than in the cotton fields (who was the Japanese guy who thought up this display? Thats what happens when people grow up with images of Sambo etched into their memories.).


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I think that the old Mazda logo is pretty cool, and predict that someone will see this pic and create a kit for Miatas and RX-7s (dunno if it would look as good on an RX-8).


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I'll just let the picture speak for itself. Feel free to write a caption...


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All of the cars in the Yufuin Car Museum are in sorry shape, cramped together, and are poorly lit. This was actually a GOOD idea for an underfunded museum, as the low light, and the cars being placed RIGHT next to each other hide the blemishes much like the ugly in bars and nightclubs is hidden by low lighting and the crowd (especially after a few drinks...). Surprisingly, they had many rare cars and some of them, after a LOT of work, have the potential to be real gems. I think it would be great if the museum sold its cars to a museum with a lot of money, so that these cars can receive the restoration and maintenance that they deserve.

Posted by Adam at 1:42 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

March 2, 2004

Holy Water

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Every once in a while, I take a picture that I really like. This one was taken at a lake in Yufuin (in Oita-ken), and I had to venture out into the water to get it.

I really like the shrines that are built in or around water in its various forms. They seem more powerful, or at least more interesting. This one made me wonder: did they drain the lake in order to set the concrete columns in place and then fill it back up, or did they build it and then create the lake, or did they just sink in the columns pre-fabricated? Of course, it would be cool if it just magically appeared from the void or if it was built by supernatural beings, but if this were the case, I would hope that they would use more exotic building materials, like an all knowing oracular slab of midnight blue sapphire that could only be awakened by the one who was foretold of by the prophecy, or a rock that would be indistinguishable from ordinary concrete, that if touched would instantly cause its victim to be disintegrated, transomgrafied, or transported to a different dimension.

Posted by Adam at 6:51 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

March 1, 2004

Come Again?

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This sign lacks the standard misspelled words and strange grammar, but somehow it is still distinctly Japanese


Oh, how I was dying to go into this ramen-ya and mime my way through every interaction with anyone in my sphere of influence. I remember finding this same sign 4 years prior when on an epic roadtrip with Justin, Taro, and Sayaka, except this time we (Natchan and Pitia, visiting from Nara) decided to eat here. The tonkotsu was dissapointing- the broth had no soul, the noodles were limp, and the pork was too fatty. This was the type of ramen that you wouldn't even feel like making slurping noises with, because it just wouldn't seem fitting to draw any attention it.

Beppu, as a place, is kind of a dissapointment for me. They have no great specialty foods like Kumamoto and aside from the jigokus (hot springs, litteral translation is "hell" supposedly because the steaming strange colored pools matched descriptions of the hells depicted in Buddhist scriptures), onsens, and the sex museum (worth a visit to see Snow White and the 7 Dwarves: the XXX version) there are few places of interest. Despite this, I have had a great time here on both times I have visited, but this was due to the company rather than the setting, as is usually the case.

We had a good time visiting Yufuin, taking pictures, resting in the sand baths, eating sushi from the conveyor belt (stay away from the sea centipede, nato/quail egg combo, and the yellow egg sushi- trust me on this), and finding places of interest in and around Beppu.

If you are planning to come to Kyushu one day, let me give you some advice: There are many more interesting and worthwhile places for to spend your time and money instead of Beppu. Most people come either to see the jigokus or to visit the onsens. I admit, the Jigokus are kind of interesting, but I don't see how anyone can burn a whole day looking at boiling hot pools of interestingly colored mineral water, and the cheesy, poorly maintained decorations that seem to detract rather than complement them. Their onsens aren't bad, but Kurokawa is still my favorite place to soak in the hot mineral water while listening to the wind blow through the leaves and the gentle roar of the river below.

Posted by Adam at 9:33 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack