Recently by Adam

Morning Weezer

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Before I'm off to work, I'd like to post this vid:

The Taste of Vacation

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One of the last things I did on my vacation is something I haven't done since I lived in Japan: I made a big pot of curry.

Curry is one of those dishes that evokes a plethora of sentimental memories and can awaken experiences from long ago. I can feel the humid heat of Nara under my T-shirt, and taste the hot green tea accompanying it. I can see the perfect triangular slices of watermelon, an ice cold treat that waits on plates in the center of a communal table patiently waiting to be enjoyed after the curry. This is but one of those memories.

While enjoying doing the things that I do on my time off, I not only remember, but if I am successful at relaxing, I forget.

This vacation has imparted a beneficial sort of amnesia on me, allowing me to forget work almost completely. I forgot the things that stress me out, the things that make me frustruated, and the things that make me tired. I also forgot the things that I look forward to doing, dependable co-workers, and to some extent, work friends. This is not to say these things are not important to me. I am still mindful of my work culture and environment, it's just that everything is pushed to the way-back of my mind into storage.

I've been enjoying a vacation from my vacation, something that I've always wanted to do but have, up until this point, not been able to experience. The transition between vacation and work is often abrupt, jarring, and to some extent a traumatic experience. I've been able to hang out, go outdoors, stock up on groceries, cook, read, watch TV, catch up on correspondence, and generally digest my vacation. Like a well crafted culinary treat, this break left a pleasant lingering flavor that I was able to truly savor until the very end.

I have no regrets for this vacation, and thanks to the latter part of my time off I will have curry to enjoy well into my work week.

Perfect Timing

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In anticipation of the BJ Penn and Vanderlei Silva fights coming up, I'd like to share this video:

For Max

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It's funny that ladyboys are so ubiquitous in Thai culture that they appear in commercials!

On another subject, this is a project for Justin and Nam:

Start practicing to make Max the best bento in the World.

Camo Lizard

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I didn't spot it right away. As I was looking at the mural on the southernmost bakery in the United States, I found a gecko hiding in the lau lau.

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Only when I got really close to it, did the gecko move away from the middle of the painting, bringing its vivid colors and patterns into full view, against the beige background. Those flashy patterns really do break up the full form of the body on the top picture.

On an unrelated note, I no longer catch geckos because the last one I caught peed on my hand. I think it was trying to tell me that it didn't like being captured, so now I only take pictures.

My brother, on the other hand, likes to eat them.

Interpreting on Diamond Head

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On a bright Saturday, late in the morning, Steve and I decided to hike up the volcanic cone that we could see from his house, located just next to Waikiki. We packed stuff that would unwittingly come in handy later that day: a flashlight, water bottles, camera, a hat, a first aid kit, and a permanent marker among other things.

The shot below shows the view that we came upon, after overhearing some man talking to a friend about calling 911. It sounded like he was talking about someone that was elsewhere (he mentioned that they were located at least 30 minutes away from help), so we continued on, and took a short rest here:

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While starting back on the trail, the old man came up to us asking if we spoke Japanese, because there was a girl near the top of the mountain that couldn't speak English and was in critical condition. I told him that I could, and after a short briefing he sent us up before him on a sprint to the summit.

It took about ten minutes of passing people through narrow tunnels bored through the mountain and narrow switchbacks to reach the girl. The old man had told us that she was unconscious, and when we got there, a physician informed us that they had given her candy because they thought she was going into diabetic shock.

When we arrived, she was regaining consciousness, and I was told that she had hit her head. I asked the girl what her name was and where she was, and she was able to answer both questions. A physician who was also there asked me to interpret questions that the paramedics would need when they arrived:

Does she have diabetes? After being back for 2 years, I have had little opportunity to practice, so my Japanese was a bit rusty. Luckily, it seemed to come back to me, but I had no idea how to say "diabetes". Instead, I had to ask "Does she experience problems if she eats too much or not enough sugar?".

Did she hit her head?
Initially the answer was "yes" from the boyfriend. The answer on this changed later on, as the boyfriend thought she hit her head, but the girl didn't, and didn't have any visible marks, swelling, or discoloration on her head.

Can she wiggle her toes?
She was able to.

Does she feel dizzy?
She did at first, but after drinking some water and resting in the cool tunnel, she was able to regain her strength.

Is she pregnant?
No, she was not.

Does she have any pre-existing medical conditions that we should know about?
No.

Is she taking medication?
No.

I had to ask her these questions three times: once with the physician (who decided to leave her with us after he assessed her condition as stable), once with the firefighters who met us later on, and once at the ambulance at the base of the mountain. Her symptoms indicated that she was suffering from heat exhaustion, and her condition gradually improved in the shade.

After she said that she could make it down the hill with her boyfriend, Steve and I helped her down the trail, and met a team of firefighers a third of the way down. Once again, I asked these questions, and they made it clear that they wanted to airlift her out. It was my job to explain what was going to happen and why, but more importantly to reassure the couple.

It turns out that getting airlifted out of Diamond Head is free, and that there are 2 delivery systems. One rig uses a gurney-like platform where the person being rescued lays down. The other one, the Bill Pugh, is the one that you can see in the pictures.

The girl was afraid of riding in the rig, so we told her that a firefighter would be riding with her, and that she could decline treatment when we got the the ambulance. After ten minutes, the chopper showed up, dropped off their rescue team on a tiny pinnacle, and swung around to pick her up:

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A firefighter accompanied her on her ride down to the bottom of the mountain to an ambulance awaiting their arrival. When we got there, I asked the questions a third time, and stuck around until they had finished their business. After declining treatment, the girl and her boyfriend thanked everyone and we decided not to climb Diamond Head a second time. We had come so close to the top and didn't quite reach the summit, but at that point it didn't seem as interesting.

We met the old man shortly after. Royce, it turned out, used to be a local firefighter, and he just had happened to be hiking the trail, and called in the rescue. Of all the people he passed on the trail, I was the only one who could interpret.

Usually, when I go on a short hike, I don't carry so much stuff with me, but on that day, we used them all, except for the First-Aid pack (ironic, huh?). We let her use our water to cool off, used the flashlight to assess her condition in the tunnel, Steve lent her a hat to keep her cool, and the marker to write down her medical condition to pass to the EMTs at the bottom of the hill. Things just seemed to work out well for the couple, it seemed.

As we were leaving, we saw them waiting at the bus stop, and stopped to give them a ride back to their hotel. They were from Wakayama, it turned out, on a Hawaiian vacation. In the air conditioned car, they were a lot more relaxed, and asked to take a picture with us:

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It seems that things like this happen when I go traveling, and when I hang out with Steve. I have good luck meeting the right people, being in an interesting place at the right time, and just having fun or profound experiences. Maybe it's a sign that I should do both of these things more frequently...

Scrapes, Scabs, and Bruises

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A crust of coagulated blood shielding formerly open cuts and abrasions and tissue sore from light trauma and exertion remind me that this vacation wasn't some dream, and that I was just in Hawaii. The residual minor aches and pains are something that I enjoy, a reminder of scrambling and crawling over lava rock and coarse sand while hiking, tidepooling, and playing in the waves.

I don't get scrapes, scabs, and bruises as frequently as I used to when I was a kid. Maybe that's why I enjoy them: they remind me of when free time was a certainty, and most of the fun times I had were spent in the outdoors.

There and Back

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One and a half weeks in Hawaii seemed much longer than that, which was unexpected. From the moment the plane took off from San Francisco, time immediately slipped into a relaxed pace, packed full to the brim from the time we got up until we went to sleep. It could have been a month or two ago that I was last in Monterey, and I wouldn't be surprised.

Good food, spending most of the day in the water, catching up with friends, getting tanned, exploring new places, soaking up the local culture, more good food, adventure, and almost four gigs of photos taken along the way: this is a synopsis of how the trip was spent.

There is so much stuff I could write about, but for now, I will spend a bit of time digesting my time in Hawaii.

Break Time

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It's been a year and five months since I've had a substantial amount of time off from work, and it feels like it. Usually, I put a lot of thought and effort into my job, but it seems like the pace and load of my duties and responsibilities started to really gain steam, finally coming to rest five hours ago. It feels good to be able to leave all of that stuff behind, at least for a couple of weeks.

In two days from now, I will be in Hawaii. That plan seems so abstract right now, like a faded poster hanging in an ancient travel agency, complete with palm trees, surfboards, and tikis framing a faded blue wave crashing against the washed out white sand.

I plan to spend a lot of time in the water, to take a lot of pictures, to go exploring, to go hiking, to meet cool and unusual people, to appreciate the culinary versatility of Spam, to breath slowly and deeply, to enjoy a drink whenever offered, to poke around in the jungle, to crack open a coconut, to drink pineapple juice out of a fountain, to unwittingly start picking up pidgin, to get rid of my farmer's tan, to go everywhere in flip flops and short-sleeved shirts, to wake up rested and refreshed, to experience excitement and not too much pain or injury, to jump over or off of objects and document the results, to seek out strange, beautiful, and horrifying organisms, to get lost and then find my way again, to forget what day it is, to fall asleep on the beach in the afternoon under the shade of a few palm trees, to hear and make some good stories, to run into friends randomly, to read a good book during the times I'm waiting for something, to stop frequently along the way to take in the beautiful sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures, and to add more things to this list.

For me, this vacation will really start the second that the rear landing wheels leave the runway pavement. Only then will I know that, barring some freak emergency, I have left my work life behind where it belongs. I imagine, in this situation, that I know how a crab, who has outgrown its rigid carapace and sheds it to grow larger, feels.

My mind is currently fogged from fatigue, and I have to say, in this state I am really enjoying the anticipation of going on vacation. Ah, good stuff.

New Portishead!?

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I thought these guys disappeared!

Sleep Frustruations

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I had two very vexing dreams in succession yesterday.

In the first dream, I was talking with my little sister in her room, when she started screaming. I turned around, and saw a baby turkey-like bird walking past the cracked door followed by a larger one. I got a pet carrier and quickly put them into it. Then I saw a pair of hands place three kittens and what looked like their mother through the front door to our house. They ran upstairs into my sister's room.

The birds started screaming, so I ran to check them out and found my cat inside trying to eat them. It took a long time to shake Boo out of the pet carrier, and he looked pissed off when I finally got him out. He didn't like me taking away his meal. I heard mewing coming from my sister's room.

I opened the door and saw the three kittens' heads poking through the blankets piled up in the corner of the room, followed by a blur of something charging. I picked up the nearest item to fend it off. When it got up close, it turned out to be a badger. It was really pissed off and trying to bite me. Almost miraculously, I was able to knock it away time and time again using an ordinary pillow! At this point I woke up.

I quickly fell asleep again, finding myself in a really boring meeting at work. I was talking about all of the things that needed to be fixed with my boss, and the talk was dragging on. Suffice to say, I was pissed off when I woke up for the second time, and then relieved to be rid of that particular dream once I realized what was going on.

I know that I dream regularly, but I rarely remember them by the time I get out of bed. In this case, I know why I had both dreams and what they mean. My mom had left the dogs over, and they woke me up with their barking, which disturbed my sleep (messing with my sleep is usually something that will make me unhappy). The second one happened because work has been really stressful lately.

I much prefer wacky dreams, even if I am getting attacked by crazy animals. Even if they are scary and I wake up with a quickly beating heart, I'll take "fight or flight" dreams over the ones where the mundane parts of my life follow me into the sleep world every time.

Stupid Tetris

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Asian KG?

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Unplugged Solo - video powered by Metacafe

Now, where's the Asian Jack Black at?

Buy Japanese

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*Bonus Video*

*Uniqlo Bonus*

Horror, Non-fiction

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If you are looking for a scary story, you need look no further than this Vanity Fair article on Monsanto.

Monsanto is the archetypal evil organization who looks to extract wealth, despite the costs imposed on society, nature, or anything else that gets in its way. We've seen these types of cold, efficient operations in stories such as Star Wars, James Bond, Lord of the Rings, and countless other "good vs. evil" sagas.

Can life turn out like a Hollywood movie? Who will be the hero who, despite all of the overwhelming challenges, vanquishes this seemingly-invincible foe? Or will this juggernaut simply steamroll anyone who gets in its way and make us all its bitches?

Beware of any company that inserts a gene into an organism and names it after a relentless killer cyborg from an apocalyptic future that travels back in time to wipe out the human race. It's almost as if Monsanto is giving us the finger as we mindlessly throw money their way.

Secret Ingredient

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This video reminds me of the wonderful things that my brother and I have cooked over a few drinks.

Lump Sucka!

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They live in the colder waters of the Pacific Ocean, and most of the research on them thus far has been done by Russian scientists. Their pectoral fins have been modified into a sucker that allows them to chill out and hang on to stuff. They have the ability to change color, and look like a cross between a sculpin and a puffer fish. Other than that, not much is known about these small, orb-shaped fish.

Behold, the mighty lumpsucker!

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Jumping the gun

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Google already has an April prank posted as a fake new Gmail feature, even though it's still March 31st:

http://mail.google.com/mail/help/customtime/index.html

Oh Google, you can do better than that...
(Don't mind the time stamp on this entry, for all entries are posted on Japan time)

Washington

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George Washington kinda reminds me of Walt Whitman.

Jeanine

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This little girl reminds me of one of my younger cousins, except for the Kansai-ben.

Musty Books

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Once, long ago, these books were treasured and prized possessions, the repository of knowledge available only perhaps in other books. Now, these books reside behind the locked door of the Pacific Grove Museum of Natural History. Though they are old, and some of their pages, covers, or bindings have become brittle and yellowed with age, the quality of how they were produced is evident in that most of them are still in good condition, in some cases almost 200 years after they were published.

Skimming through these books, one might find information that still is relevant today or outdated ideas that were accepted as fact in the not-too-distant past. What really grabs my attention is the textures, artwork, and the lettering on these books. I look at the covers, and my mind concocts the outlines of a story or a certain ambiance.

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Once I open the book, that image shifts into something different, and my imagined book vanishes. Sometimes this can be disappointing, but sometimes the contents are even better than the covers.

Karate Kid waxes on his guitar

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The Darkside of Coke

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Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

Founded by a drug addict, selling soda to the Nazis, anti-civil rights business practices, stealing water from farmers, and ignoring the plights of unionized workers targeted by hostile guerillas: all of these things, and more, apply to one of my favorite beverages.

I hate to say it but, even after watching this 5 part series (which is a bit biased I must say), I still like Coke, and prefer it over other colas. Though I don't drink soda that often, it's hard to avoid all of the products that are tied into the Coca-Cola company.

Though Coke has a less-than-stellar track record, I think I'll continue to consume its products in moderation.

Kelpfish

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Pacific Grove Flowers

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You can see all of these flowers in the back yard of the Pacific Grove Museum of Natural History.

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Nighthike without a tripod

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Taken from Andrew Molera on March 21, 2008, over a Longboard Island Lager and in the company of a couple of brave field mice and friends.

Naturally Seuss

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Proof of alien life on Mars, or are they merely Basketstars?

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Doesn't it look like it belongs in a Dr. Seuss book?

By the way, my good friend Brent Wong is part of the team who put out Horton Hears a Who, so go see it!

Flowers along the coast

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The first wave of flowers is crashing down upon the coastline, and here are a few that you may see if you go for a walk along the central coast:

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Not as cold as I expected

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I just got back from my SCUBA refresher course, and am pleased to say that the water was not as cold and murky as so many people made it out to be. Sure, fifty degree water is certainly not warm, but I felt much colder when I was on a surfboard a few weeks ago in Huntington Beach.

While on the bottom, at Breakwater, I went through all of the safety drills and then spent another twenty minutes trying to optimize my buoyancy over sand, rock, and kelp. While on the bottom, we encountered many perches, a baby flatfish, a greenling, senorita fish, kelp fish, a rock fish, tube anemonies, various sea stars, and countless other invertebrates.

It was nice not to have to buy any new gear, as I have all of the neoprene needed, and was able borrow the rest (thank you, you know who you are). So now it's a little before ten and I've already been up for four hours. Perhaps it's time for a hike...

Fish heads!

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Some fish have the most expressive faces that seem to universally appeal to people. Others don't convey much other than a sense of "duh". What do you see when you look these fish in the eyes?

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Black rockfish head!

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Rainbow trout head!

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Juvenile wolf eel head!

Morning Trout

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Trout are, perhaps, the fish I first got hooked on, metaphorically speaking. Trout are almost certainly the first fish that I ever caught. I still remember going fishing with my family in a hatchery somewhere in the Sierras, and how effortless it was to catch a farmed fish in their rectangular ponds.

I remember Justin lowering a sphere of spit on a mucus strand from his mouth, until it reached the limits of tensile strength. The orb smacked the surface of the busy water below, and a trout almost instantly fell upon the loogie.

Perhaps it was a little less surprising that these trout, clearly not as wily as their wild kin, bit our chewed up gum that we had exhausted all of the flavor from. The farmed trout bit upon unbaited hooks, and really cemented the idea that farmed fish are much less fit, both genetically and mentally, than wild fish.

Nonetheless, it is this memory, and other memories of looking for fish and fishing in lakes, rivers, streams, and ponds that secure the rainbow trout a special place in my heart.

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One thing that still surprises me is how weak trout are when they come into contact with human activity. They are easily killed by messing with their water quality, by hooking them in the gills or if they swallow a hook, or even by touching them. But they are able to live in both salt and fresh water, to jump waterfalls to reach their spawning grounds, and some of them, the legendary uncatchable monsters, seem to be able to out fox any lure, bait, or fly that passes their way. Trout, like people, capture the concenpt of the tension of opposites.

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I no longer like to fish for trout the way I used to when I was a kid. Part of the reason I don't like trout fishing is that I don't want to hurt or kill them because if I did I would feel obligated to eat them. I have had rainbow trout that taste pretty good, but I have had this fish prepared the wrong way or trout that was simply disgusting enough times to make me want to avoid it all together.

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If you look at hatchery rainbow trout versus wild stocks, they look like different species of fish, though they are almost genetically identical. The wild strains tend to be darker colored, exhibit sexual dimorphism, and just look healthier. They also tend to be a little more wary than their inbred brethren, and I imagine they would taste better.

It would be interesting to see how long it would take hatchery fish to go back to looking and acting like native trout. How many generations would it take for these less-fit fish to optimize their behavior and characteristics to fit an environment that they are only generally suited to live in? Would interbreeding with the native stock be a good thing or a bad thing to replenish the local populations?

I think the answers are out there, but I know not what they are. But then again, I haven't dedicated much time to finding them yet.

Woodblockesque

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The landscape and seascape changes from hour to hour, day to day, season to season, all the way up the progression of increments of time. It is during my time spent in the outdoors that I feel like I am living in an old Hiroshige woodblock print. In a sense, I am probably capturing the same stuff he would be interested in, albeit in a much newer and less time-consuming medium and as an amateur:

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A heron takes cover among the reeds that grow near the end of the Carmel River. On a sandbar I find some rocks that might turn out to be jade, or maybe they're some other kind of greenish rock. I walk along the top of a sand bar, heading up the coast. This is the start of what will become a two hour long hike.

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The proper trail is not easily found from the beach, and it appears that most of the hikers are retired folks who own the houses that you can see peeking out over the hills. The flowers are in bloom, and the weather is perfect on this afternoon. As the only young person on the trail, and the only minority, I feel more out of place than if I was in a foreign country. I opt to explore the uneven grounds of the beach, away from the houses and their owners.

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My plan works flawlessly. It seems that no one is interested in walking along the beach, and I have it all to myself. The colors I encounter on this section of my walk do not seem as if they should all occur together at the same place in nature. My gait slows from Osaka speed down to a nice Kyushu pace.

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I jump back on the trail after reaching the junction of an unscalable sandstone cliff (no iceplant here!) and delta. No fish are visible from the edge, only a huge flock of sea gulls who are busy bathing in the fresh water.

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I continue along the trail, and gaze down on the fields of sourgrass sitting next to the crashing waves. For the explorers who had to tramp through thick forests, plague-ridden swamps, bone-bleaching deserts, and all of the other obstacles and challenges, views like this must have helped to balance out some of their hardship and suffering. It pains me to think that some of those explorers probably enjoyed a view similar to this as they unwittingly rubbed up against a huge patch of poison oak (which also looks beautiful this time of year).

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The trail, once again, veered toward the sprawling houses along the beach, and so I once again took a small, neglected trail. It appeared to be used mainly by maintenance crews working on the water lines that fed the neighborhood, and the furry woodland creatures, judging by the various turds (thankfully none human) and tracks that they left.

This part of the hike could have come straight out of the back roads of rural Southern Japan. Like many of my hikes along the many neglected roads, I encountered not one person, but many strange and beautiful plants and animals.

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Why is the Pacific Grove Natural History Museum filled with such a variety of stuffed birds? Back in the old days, I have no doubt that the men who collected and prepared many an unfortunate avian bagged not a few of them somewhere within the view afforded from this hill side.

I find it highly amusing that hunting groups, like Ducks Unlimited, are the main evangelists of conservation of natural areas like these. Groups who kill the animals who live here have shifted to become their stewards. This is how most resources will have to be managed in the future, by those who traditionally exploit them. But I digress...

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My hike ends in a fallow field, with a collapsed barn in the distance. In the space of two hours, it seems like I have experienced much more than I should have been able to, even if I was given a whole day. This, I reflect, is why some people have the exploration bug. Even if you get lost, hungry, scared, angry, or hurt, you know that you may come away richer for the experience. And maybe, if you are really lucky, you can have it all, if just for a moment.

The Happy/Sad Floating World

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A few days ago I took a long walk that started at the beach. After a few hours of following no particular path, I ended up in a large meadow next to the highway. If I had not strayed from the path and scrambled along the edge of the emergency lane into what was almost certainly private property (though there were no "no trespassing" signs posted), I would have never hopped down the steep bank where I found this:
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I had chanced upon a cherry tree in the middle of nowhere, and it was in full bloom despite its dire situation.

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Cherry blossoms are not long-lived, and it's partially because of their fleeting beauty that many people look forward to the season when they start to open. On the slope, surrounded by eucalyptus trees, poison oak, and dull colored scrub, it would have been impossible to miss.

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The trunk was snapped, like a matchstick, at a 90 degree angle. It was impossible to see from the road, and since there was no footpath, its flowers were not likely to be seen by anyone who passed it by. I found it amazing that this tree, which appeared to have been broken a while ago (the splintered trunk was brown and dried out, with only a tenuous patch of fiber connecting the fallen portion of tree to the trunk), was able to flower despite being fatally injured.

It made me sad that no one would probably ever see this tree, or witness its last death-defying act of beauty. I regretted not having packed any food or drink to enjoy in its company, as I so often had under so many different cherry trees with so many different people when I was living in Japan.

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The hike back to my car was long and the wind conspired to pull away all of the petals from the branch that I took. The branch, it turned out, was stronger than I thought and made it home safely.

And so, with this branch, I was able to enjoy hanami in my apartment this year. We dined on tuna melts (with croissants) and sparkling fruit juice. To someone who doesn't count any specific residence as their home it made the apartment feel familiar in a way not too different from nostalgia (How the hell do you translate natsukashii in this context?).

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I was amazed, but the branch was still obstinately clinging on to its blossoms the next day at dawn. I had wanted to take pictures of the branch the day before, but had run out of daylight. These are the shots that I came away with at Lover's Point.

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The twig was with me for only a couple of days, but during those days I had some good times enjoying the cherry blossoms.

A fallen, dying tree puts all of its remaining energy into blooming one last time, though no one will see it. Against all odds, the right person finds it and enjoys this last beautiful act. Though the tree dies, it is fondly remembered, tied into happy memories of the past.

Sound familiar?

Metaphor

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Raw Material

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Perhaps it's because I have my Nikon back in working order. Or maybe it's because I have an extra free day each weekend. It could be that winter is finally fading away.

What ever it is, I was able to find interesting things this weekend, which I hope to post soon.

Here's a shot that captures so many textures and colors, it was hard to believe. Why is the sand that purple and why does the water look so deceptively inviting? I don't know, but I do know that I found a new favorite beach hike...

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Among the Wildflowers

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It's been a while since I've felt like taking pictures of, writing about, or even just thinking about flowers. For a stretch, I wasn't motivated to go out and find them, or for one reason or another, I didn't take the time to just go outside and look at them. Now, I feel like I'm ready to go forth and to dedicate some time to them like I did during the past few days off.

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These blue flowers were thriving among the border of a road along the backwoods of Fort Ord, perhaps sitting atop some yet undiscovered ordinance. There are signs at the trailhead, warning hikers to avoid the various unexploded shells and explosives that are occasionally found in these parts.

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This white flower was only growing in one small patch, next to some really small yellow flowers. I really love the tiny wildflowers that thrive during the spring. Perhaps I can use them as an excuse to get a better lens!

By the way, if you were wondering why I haven't been posting pictures, it's because my old lens died, and I had to search for a replacement. I found the same lens for cheap (refurbished!), but I don't think I'll be spending any more real money on this camera.

What I have learned is that, although the stock Nikon lenses work well, they are not very solidly constructed (a cool repair guy told me that they have tape holding them together inside!) and are not made for rugged conditions or heavy use. The general consensus, from the camera guys I talked to, was to go for the high-end lenses, starting from $500 to $600 bucks. I'm not sure if I would be comfortable pouring that much into my camera, as you can almost buy one new with two lenses, albeit cheaper lenses, for only a little bit more.

The bottom line is that I'm happy to have my camera working again. I intend to get into the field in the near future...

Benny Lava!

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This is like the Bollywood version of Yellow Ledbetter:

Why big dogs are better

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Though I am fond of my family's lap dogs, I don't understand the popularity of small dogs. Big dogs are much better.

Dogs are supposed to be Man's best friend, and long-dead dogs that we still fondly remember are the ones that fearlessly protected or faithfully served their masters.

Old Yeller, Rin Tin Tin, Lassie, Hachiko, Balto: these are the names of dogs we remember for doing something other than promoting cheap tacos. Benji is the only small dog that was relatively worth a damn despite his small size.

Little dogs taken into public, especially if they are wearing clothing or carried in a bag are a red flag. Sometimes the owners are regular people who like small dogs. More often than not, they indicate that their owner has a better than average chance of being selfish, annoying, and just generally someone you wouldn't want to waste your time on. In my experiences, it is best to avoid such parties, if possible. This isn't to say that people who own big dogs aren't the same way, but unpleasant owners of big dogs tend to be unpleasant in different ways than unpleasant owners of small dogs.

Small dogs can be formidable ankle biters, but they are nothing that a decent punt can't handle. Big dogs, like this one, can literally kick your ass. And if that fails, they can bite it...

No time for love Dr. Jones

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Indiana Jones is who I wanted to be as a kid, and nothing much in that regard has changed since then. Respect to Harrison Ford for demanding to use a real whip instead of a CGI one (hopefully it will not turn into a radio, like the guns in E.T. did).

This is one of the few movies that I would wait in line for on opening day, though not in costume. After the Star Wars prequels, I'm a bit cautious when it comes to movies that revisit the stories I knew as a child, but I'm pretty sure that Indy IV is not going to suck. Even if it does, I'll treat it like Episodes I, II, and III, and just ignore it and pretend it never happened.

Here's a bit of trivia, a Welsh friend of mine let me know that Jones is indeed a Welsh name, meaning "Son of John". And Sallah, the Arab dude, is actually a Welsh actor named John Rhys-Davies.

I miss Japanese 7 Eleven

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Clean. Efficient. Choices.

These are the three things that define Japanese convenience stores that American ones lack.

This video, despite the eccentric staff, made me remember how nice it was to have a large selection of canned coffee and tea, nigiri, and those sweets that come in such unexpected packaging and flavors. I wish all 7 Elevens were Japanese 7 Elevens.

I think this video is pretty old, because that Vidal Sasoon and soap with a name I don't remember have a retro 80's look about them.

*Bonus Vid: Japanese Baseball Slide*

**Yet more Bonus: Evolving Art (I've posted something by the same group before)**

The Keratin Harvest

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Every few weeks, right before my morning shower, I perform a ritual not unlike the Shingon monks that sit under the freezing streams at Oiwasan Nissekiji temple in Kamiichimachi. I mentally prepare myself, even when I'm still in bed contemplating what is to come. I squinch my upper lip to my nostrils and feel the scratch of my protruding nose hairs.

Barring some horrible event that results in cauterized follicles or severe emotional trauma, I think I'm always going to have a lot of hair, that is, except for a full mustache and beard. My super follicles push out thick, black hair at a slightly accelerated rate. Among my follicles, there are a few super follicles as well, that I wish were not such over achievers.

My nose seems to be the club where these turbo charged hairs like to hang out. Maybe it's because my nose is a pretty spacious, warm place to be, like a greenhouse or tropical island. I doubt that animals that have adapted to live in deserts, where they need long nose hairs to keep sand out of their respiratory systems, have nose hairs that would outgrow mine.

You know those electric nose hair trimmers? You would have about the same luck using a weed whacker to take on a giant sequoia as you would using one of those on my nose hairs, and the tips of nose hairs that are cut turn into miniature Punji sticks that slowly grow and poke the inside of my nose.

To effectively manage my nose hairs, I turn to the trusty hemostat for help. Not only are they handy when you're trying to control bleeding or need to suture something up, they also are ideal for nose hair management. The fine needle nose, with the help of the ratcheting lock, maintain a firm grip on hairs.

What comes next can only be explained as a sharp pain that travels to the brain almost instantaneously. When you rip a bundle of nose hairs from your septum, it goes against what your body thinks is a reasonable thing to do for the sake of self-preservation. In other words, it f*cking hurts. I remember the first time I did this, I had to wait until the pain passed before I did it again. It took me ten minutes to clean out both nostrils.

Nowadays, I can pluck my nose free of hairs that are too long in a few minutes, and I have gotten used to the pain. It sounds like a horrible thing to do, to rip out your nose hairs, but it's the only way I can clean them up without spending an unreasonable amount of time on those bastards.

After I'm done, I understand how you can gain a bit of horsepower by changing out a dirty or inferior air filter in your car. More air is reaching my lungs via my nasal passages without all of those keratin strands getting in the way. I clean off my hemostat and flush the small fallen forest of nose hair down the drain. If trees grew as quickly as my nose hairs, I muse, we would have to thin out the woods to keep them from encroaching on human habitations.

The benefits of ice plant

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This afternoon, I jumped in the car and headed South towards Big Sur. I was cruising along at the speed limit, driving with the windows and sun roof open, enjoying the sunshine and looking for spots along the side of the road that might grant me coastal access.

Every few minutes, I would spot an opening in the barbed wire fences that run along Highway 1, or for the telltale absence of brush, usually only a shoulder-width patch, that usually signaled the start of a hidden trail.

It seemed that everywhere I stopped, other people would see the car and follow me to see what I was looking at. I've grown to really like having these places all to myself, and so I'll hike places that are a bit more steep or challenging to get to than the average person is willing to brave.

I came upon a well-hidden path a few miles South of Garrapata State Beach, obscured by the thick brush. Once through the beginning patch, I spied a pristine beach, with what looked like a steep, but climbable path that made it back up to the highway. In order to get the secluded cove, I would have to descend the granite cliffs, skirt my way around some tidepools, and it looked like I would be home free. As if to motivate me, a group of tourists appeared a few hundred feet behind me.

Along the way, I looked among the wave-beaten rocks, and at the newly exposed layers of soil for cool rocks or artifacts. It was low tide, and though the waves weren't large, I knew that if I fell in, there was a good chance that I would be injured by the wild surge and the jagged rocks.

And so I came to a large mass of granite and quartz that stood like a large knife between me and the beach that I wanted to visit. Though the rock was tall and vertical, it wasn't too hard to climb over and around it. Before I started, I considered what I would do if a sleeper wave came in when I was on the blade of granite. It would have to be a huge wave, at least ten times larger than the largest wave I had seen crash, in order to get past the little islands that sheltered the cove and its immediate surroundings.

I made it to the beach, and enjoyed laying the only foot prints into the sand that I could see. There was something satisfying about knowing that no one would follow me to this beach, at least not the same type of people that had been following me earlier. I walked around for a while and soaked up some much needed sun.

From the waterline, I surveyed the cove, and picked the place where I would climb back up the surrounding cliffs. I could follow up the stream, but that was likely to be a pretty messy option, so instead I picked the area of granite that led to the path that I had seen from the beginning of the trail.

Hand and foot holds were sparse, and so I took my time testing to make sure that they were strong enough to support me. Before long, I had climbed much higher than I had though, and reflected that if it would be really hard to climb back down. I felt confident that I could fall and not hurt myself, but if I did, no one might come looking for me for a long time.

So I continued my climb, and the granite slowly turned into hard packed sand that formed a very steep grade. It was at this point that I regretted climbing so high in dress shoes. The smooth soles of my shoes had a hard time keeping purchase on wet concrete, and did not inspire confidence on the compacted sand. I flattened my body along the cliff, and shifted my support to my hand holds. A few arm lengths out of reach was a lone ice plant patch, and a larger patch was just a few feet above the closer patch.

Slowly, I tested crags and outcroppings of substrate, some of which crumbled before I committed to put a load on them. Digging my fingers into some of the firmer parts of the wall, I made steady progress to the smaller ice plant cluster. I grabbed onto the thickest part of the stem and tested it for strength. It snapped off, leaving me with a fleshy branch of withered lobes. I tried another part, hidden under a healthier part of the plant, and used it to reach the next, larger cluster.

The top of the ridge was in view, but it became a near vertical climb. Quickly, and carefully, I rooted out healthy stalks to hold on to under the green spikes, and scrambled onto a manageable area. The rest of the climb was through thick scrub, full of dead, pointy chaparral and hidden ground squirrel holes, and still rather steep, but it was a relative walk in the park.

I had noticed sand in the crags of the granite below, and had even seen the sand cliff, but it had looked less steep from the beach. Next time I will bring the appropriate shoes. Next time, I hope not to depend on ice plant in order to pull myself up and out of danger. I am glad for the ice plant, though. For a hand hold, I'll take ice plant on a cliff wall over chaparral any day, as long as it's healthy.

Better than you

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Understanding the Blues

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"I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."

Read the rest here.

Thoughts on blogging

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Now, as I test out Movable Type v.4.1 for the first time, I can not help but think about what the interface looked like when I first used it, and how writing that first post felt. Blogging was pretty well-established by 2003, but it was new to me and it was with the encouragement of my brother that I started to run with it.

Back then I was living in a far away land, and the blog started to serve as a lifeline back to family and friends, allowing us to stay in touch, even though we were on different sleep cycles. Now, it still serves that purpose, though it does not occupy as much of my time. Life just doesn't seem as fast-paced and adventure no longer lurks just around a bend in the road over here. I almost feel as if I am living in a retirement community, and I am in a sense. Just under two years ago, I was teaching in one of the worst schools in Osaka during the day, out in the big city at night, and constantly exploring strange and foreign sub-cultures and worlds. There was a lot of stuff for me to share.

I probably would not have been as involved in writing or, for that matter, taking pictures as much as I do had it not been for Justin keeping this domain up and running, and that would have been unfortunate. Sometimes, when I feel like I'm forgetting my life in Japan, I look through the archives and everything comes back. My posts are a hedge against dementia, a touchstone to the past.

I am fascinated by Justin's efforts to keep the architecture of our blogs up to date. Whenever I take a look at the various templates, lines of code to make CAPTCHA or Analytics work, or any of the other moving parts that are hidden under the hood my eyes glaze over and my brain protests against trying to make sense of it all. I, the slacker, much prefer to focus on the content rather than the infrastructure.

I have a hunch that he does not like dealing with the installations - like is not quite the right word. I think he gets a satisfaction of learning how to use all of the tools to keep our blogs running smoothly and up to date, and it wouldn't surprise me if the process of staying on top of these things is one of his forms of meditation.

Given the choice between learning Movable Type from scratch and blogging on something that attracts some of the best features as a result of being open source or subscribing to a service like Blogger and not learning anything more than I needed to, I probably would have gone the Blogger route. I'm glad I didn't though, as I really like posting things here.

NeverEnding Nostalgia

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I took shelter from the cold rain, in an old, dark room, full of books with yellowed pages and a jumble of artifacts and well-worn work items. Scant light fell as running streaks on to the warped linoleum, I contemplated as I breathed in warm, stale air.

On the walk to the room, my Hawaiian pizza (with green onions!) had shed some of its cheese, which had coagulated onto the side of the carton. I tried scraping it back on the pizza, but when the cold fats and proteins were sampled, they proved unsatisfactory. Despite this, the flat bread with tomato sauce tasted really good after coming in from the rain.

Though I only had thirty minutes to eat, time seemed to slow down, as I enjoyed my packed lunch and read a book. It felt as if I were living another version of The NeverEnding Story, when Bastian cracks open a book and gets lost in the tale.

I wonder if this cartoon was inspired by the same scene...

For such a shitty cartoon, Beavis and Butthead was pretty entertaining.

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Surprisingly, this little dog is able to go boulder hopping if you direct her along a clean, reasonable line.

Though she can climb up steep rocks and plows along like a little bulldozer, she doesn't necessarily like going off the path.

The yawn indicates that she's had enough, clearly not interested in checking out the critters left exposed by the low tide. It's probably better that way. We don't want her to stick her nose into the nematocyst-laced tentacles of the green anemone in the nearby pool.

We get back into the car, and she gets her muddy paws on everything (that I will end up wiping off later on in the day). Next time, along with dookie containment bags and water, I must remember to bring a towel to clean her off.

I'm curious to see just how steep a course she can safely handle, but that is an activity for another day...

Kid with Guitar

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What is Beef?

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Is it Nas vs. Jay-Z? Tupac and Biggie? Ice Cube talking smack on Common?

Cubicle Warfare

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Look around the cubicles at my workplace and you won't notice anything out of the ordinary. There is a war going on, and not everybody even notices it. Once you do notice it, you start to see things and to hear things that shouldn't be there.

There is an infestation of plastic army men, civil war militia, barnyard and African animals, and other miniaturized people and things. They're watching you from the light fixtures. They're blending into the office plants, communicating with each other. In every part of the office you go, there's another army man there with you.

There is also a mysterious beeping that no one seems to be able to locate. It doesn't beep at regular intervals, and must be well hidden because no one has found it so far. Sound familiar?

My supervisor is pushing the envelope with a USB Laser Guided Missile Launcher. He doesn't even use it and it's annoying because it constantly emits a laser from a concealed location.

It's only a matter of time before someone snaps and unleashes a Sonic Grenade upon the office. One day, someone will probably go a little too far, and it will be fun to see what happens.

Ah, it's nice to be a neutral party during times of conflict...

Old Bones

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Forgotten side roads, hidden deep in the green hills of Kyushu, are where I spent many epic afternoons driving around in my trusty '89 Civic. Often, I would encounter fallen trees or boulders blocking the road that I would skirt around, nudge out of the way, or get out of my car and physically move them to the side. Almost always, if I was at an impassable, the road was so narrow that I would have to drive what seemed like a mile in reverse, before I could even attempt a 3 point turn.

Even then, the 3 point turn would have a sheer wall of rock at one side, with a steep cliff on the other. The prospect of imminent death is a great motivation to learn the abilities of your body and vehicle. On more than one occasion, my neck was sore from looking over my shoulder for a prolonged session of driving in reverse.

Most of the time the roads would lead to a secluded farm, a colony of green houses, a pasture of rolling hills with cattle traps on the borders of the road and gates blocking further access, a rice field, or a uniform-sized grove of cedar trees used mostly to grow Shiitake mushrooms. Sometimes, there was a charming coffee shop or restaurant hidden away run mostly by people moving back to the country for a simpler life.

It wasn't uncommon to see an abandoned building on the side of these far away roads. Usually the surrounding woods would be well into the methodical process of eating, over growing, or generally reclaiming these forsaken spaces. Layers of leaves, dirt, mold, and animal droppings formed the beginnings of soil, mostly colonized by weeds and creeping vines.

On a late cold winter afternoon, under branches that formed a dark tunnel over a weedy road, I came upon one such house. Clearly, this place been abandoned by its owners a long time ago, but it had managed to evade vandalization. Stacked around the front and back yard that ran up to the edge of jungle, discarded appliances, media, and other semi-organized debris stood as testament to a sorrowful neglect.

Though the living no longer inhabit these places, you can still feel the shadow of their presence in the things that they left behind. Just thirty feet down the road, the sun shines brightly on the dusty road. The thick tangle of trees surrounding the house block most of the windows, and the dark green walls seem to absorb the scant light that makes it into the structure.

On the polished eves of the house, yellowed black and white pictures of the family patriarchs, all stern-faced males dressed in formal attire, glare down from their heavy frames on the rotten tatami mats, amidst the weeds and scattered, yellow papers and books as if in disapproval of the house that they are watching over. Were they, at one point, looking down on a family with contentment? It is hard to imagine that there might have been happiness, laughter, or even a relaxed conversation under these eves.

Scrolls with highly-stylized kanji hang on the adjacent wall, edges curling and black with moisture and the very same mold that is eating the wood, tatami, paper, walls, and even the very glass. The kitchen is littered with a few old, worn out plates, bowls, and cups. Opposite the kitchen, the tatami mats have rotted through and the very floor boards have caved in, exposing the ribs of supporting beams. The darkness, right below the floor, might be hiding any number of things that go bump in the night.

Just past this ominous chasm lies another room, almost pitch black, and packed full of mistreated, old luggage, broken toys, and other creepy artifacts. Getting there would involve walking on rotten beams over the darkness. I carefully put one foot down and test the narrow 2x4, and it starts to give. Slowly, I retract my foot, and decide that I'll stay on this half of the divide.

Though it feels like a really long time, I only spend a short time investigating the house (the watch indicates that I've been in for seven minutes). I take care to leave everything as I find it. Snapping pictures does not seem appropriate with someone's ancestors looking down on me. Quietly, and carefully, I exit the house, taking the same route out that I took in.

The feeling that I get when I enter places like this is similar to the experience of walking into a great cathedral through a dark beam of light in an ancient Toledo neighborhood, or hiking by myself alongside magnificent giant sequoias on a rainy day. It's not scary, but it weighs profoundly on my mind and soul.

Not all abandoned buildings can stir up these feelings, especially when you are with a rowdy group of friends. With this in mind, I never shared the location of some of these places with anyone else, and I like to think that they will remain forgotten, and will return to the earth unmolested by others.

Dusting off the cobwebs

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Why is it that things that I like to do seem like such a pain in the ass until I end up doing them? I'll give you a few examples of what I'm talking about:

I like to cook, but I haven't cooked more than a handful of times this year.
I like to exercise, but until recently I haven't gotten out much to do it.
I like reading, but I only get through an average of one book every two weeks.
I like making clay figures, but I haven't made but three last year, all of which suffered catastrophic structural failure when I fired them.
I like photography, but I don't shoot as much as I would like to.
I like snowboarding, but I haven't been on the slopes for over two years.
I like a clean room, but entropy takes control and matter goes from a state of higher to lower concentration, requiring ever-increasing amounts of energy to clean up.

Now that I'm doing these things (I still need to go boarding), I am enjoying them again, even if I've fallen out of practice.

Take cooking as an example: tonight I am making stew. It doesn't taste nearly as good as I'm capable of making it, but just getting back into the practice of cutting, peeling, frying, browning, simmering, and reducing, has been therapeutic in a way I can not fully articulate.

Now that I'm pushing past my resistance, I've already gained the motivation to do things that has been sorely lacking.

I think that this vacation was just what I needed. I've been back to work for only a day, and already I can't wait until my next vacation.

Tonkotsu-gram

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Tonkotsu ramen is my favorite noodle soup by far, and unfortunately, there are no places to get really good tonkotsu in Monterey. I had gone so long without tonkotsu that Shinsengumi was the place where I wanted to eat the most on my last trip to Southern California. If only I could get Tonkotsu up North, I would be really happy - I remember thinking this when I departed on January 2nd for Monterey.

Vacation came a few days later. On my first day off, I received a notification that an undelivered parcel from Japan was waiting at the Pacific Grove post office for me. Due to power outages and other obstacles, I wouldn't end up getting this parcel for another 3 days, and only then after a 20 minute wait in a line packed with people trying to do everything that the post office was capable of, it seemed. The staff at the PG post office is polite and efficient, much like a Japanese Post office.

I was surprised to read this label on the box that was handed to me:

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Reading the label, I knew that this wasn't going to be a pack of Top Ramen or Cup o Noodle, but it did raise a chuckle.

One of my favorite teachers from Ubuyama, Hieda-sensei, must have been listening to my thoughts because he quickly dispatched a 3 pack of instant Kumamoto-style tonkotsu ramen, complete with takana from Aso-prefecture!

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Here are the ingredients for my Kurotei instant ramen:
cup noodle
pork broth
salt
shoyu
natana oil
lard(!)
garlic
?
starch
karashi peppers
amino acids
caramel color
rendered bones
sweet flavoring
seaweed

And there's more, but I'm getting tired of looking up kanji and trying to remember Japanese. I think I'm going to have to prepare extra noodles so that I can enjoy the broth to the fullest with kaidama...

To Hieda-sensei, the man who dared to climb Mount Kuju during the middle of a blizzard on April 4th, 2004 with Ubuyama-mura's 3rd resident ambassador of gaikokujin, I am truly in your debt!

Green peeks through

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About this time of year, when the days are slowly getting longer, I used to look forward to the plum blossoms coming into bloom. During this season, snow still falls in the mountains, we'd eat nabe under the kotatsu table, and the plum blossoms appearance would encourage us that in a few months hanami and the release from the bitter cold would be upon us.

In Pacific Grove, we have no orchards of plum or cherry blossoms. Instead we have succulents. Right now, like the plums of Japan, our massive aloe plants are flowering up and down my stretch of coast. Thankfully, it is not cold enough to make using a heater necessary (though we still turn in on occasionally).

In the near future, our smaller variant of ice plant will send up a carpet of purple flowers. To me, it's not as beautiful or as fun as cherry blossom viewing, but it is still very nice. It would be fun to set up a picnic and invite friends and family out to drink amidst the blossoms, but we would probably be busted by the police pretty quickly.

These heavy rains have coaxed the grasses to reach for the sky and climb over the dead, brown stalks and leaves of last year. It shouldn't be too long until the flowers start to come out.

Vacation stops here

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Well, that was a fun five days off. As much as I like the aquarium, sometimes we need our own time and space to ourselves.

For my last day off, I woke up late, and went for an afternoon hike at Point Lobos. Thankfully, today, the rains let up, and I was able to survey the effect of the storm in the woods.

Trees were uprooted, and the trunks of some of the larger Monterey pines were snapped in half, splintered like disposable chopsticks. Paths were eroded by the deluge, and rocks were freed from their earthen prison.

Walking was nice today, as wet pine needles formed a lush blanket along the whole trail, covering the viscous mud. The phrase "lather, rinse, repeat" came to mind, as I looked up, all of the dead, brown needles and many of the rotten boughs had been scrubbed off and washed to the ground.

I always remember how much I love getting out into the outdoors when I get there, and then I promptly forget it when I'm debating whether to go out or to do something else. I wonder why this is...

Taking these five days off has made me realize how much stuff I really have to keep me occupied, and has allowed me to spend time doing things that I don't spend enough time doing because of a busy schedule. I would not be opposed to taking five more days off, but I might never return to work!

Fun on a trampoline

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Grizzly Adam

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When I was in the 6th grade I wanted to have facial hair. I don't know why I wanted it, only that it seemed like a cool thing to have. I imagined that when I started shaving, it would encourage my follicles to produce a luxurious mustache and beard.

I carefully assembled all of the materials I needed to remove the peach fuzz on my face. Next, I slathered an over-generous amount of shaving cream below my nose and ears but above my neck. Slowly and carefully, I scraped away all of the foam under my chin and on the sides of my jaws, leaving the area where my mustache would be for last.

Emboldened by my results thus far, I quickly swept my disposable Bic single-bladed razor down my upper lip, and felt the stainless steel blade bite into my flesh, and a warm gush sprung forth. The coppery tang of my blood laced the cologne scent of the Colgate shaving cream and dripped into the white suds in the sink. Despite this set back, I meticulously finished the job. It wouldn't do to leave a few patches of peach fuzz on my face.

The cut was so deep, it took a few days to scab over completely, two weeks for the scab to peel, and almost three months for the pink scar to disappear. I think my dad noticed the cut, because that Christmas I got an electric shaver as one of my presents (I barely had enough facial hair for it to cut, but I still did it religiously). I wouldn't shave with a razor blade again until I received a Gillette Mach II in the mail, as a present on my 18th birthday, from Proctor and Gamble.

Occasionally, I have gone several days without shaving to see what the effects would be. It turns out that despite regularly shaving for about ten years, I do not seem to be destined to have thick facial hair.

On this vacation, I have gone without shaving for six days so far, and although my facial hairs have grown to about 2/10ths of an inch, it just doesn't look like much. I would post pictures, but really, it's not worth it. It has been kind of fun growing it out though.

If I make it to an old age, I plan on growing out a really long, really stringy Fu-Manchu mustache and beard just for the hell of it.

On a side note, I seem to have about three hairs in my "beard" that are red. What the hell is that all about?

A walk in the rain

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I went for a long walk in the rain today through the streets of Pacific Grove.

I used to frequently go for a walk in the other neighborhoods I lived in, but the prospects of having an adventure, experiencing exotic sights, sounds, textures, and smells in your home country just don't seem like they could stack up to a place where you are not used to.

Today, and the other times I've decided to walk around, proved this preconception to be wrong.

A house not too far away from my apartment has the same garish leg lamp that Ralphie's dad in A Christmas Story fights with his mom over.

The recent storms that have knocked out power for thousands of homes in California has gone through the streets, leaving a path of destruction. One large wooden fence looked as if it had been karate chopped by the very hand of God. Much termite damage was exposed, as the strong winds wrenched the rotten cores of 4x4 posts from soil, loosened by the torrential downpour. Piles of broken tree branches and fallen trees were stacked aside the road.

Walking by these things, I was able to take in so much more for two reasons. Walking afforded me the time to focus on the details of the houses, things I would miss if I were in a car. I was also able to bypass roadblocks and other obstacles easily on foot.

One cool thing I happened across was this flower:
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I don't know what kind of flower it is, but it looked as if it didn't mind the drizzle...

Ocean Force!

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It's weird to see how popular Huntington Beach has become, and seeing people on the show who I didn't know were lifeguards.

They call it "actuality TV" as opposed to "reality TV", but it's interesting to see how fancy editing, a dramatic voice over, and a sound track can hype and dramatize a regular day at the beach.

Lifeguarding is a demanding and exciting profession, especially at Huntington, but it's still strange to see an area that I consider home on TV.

TV worth watching

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The only reason I have cable is for the Discovery Channel, the History Channel, PBS, the Travel Channel, and Comedy Central. These three channels constitute what I watch 80 percent of the time, with Comedy Central being the one channel I probably watch the most.

Laughter is indeed therapeutic, but there is something else. Comedy showcases some of the most intelligent and insightful people around.

South Park, for example, is not a cartoon that most people think of as anything other than an outlet for toilet humor and profanity, but it is probably the best satirical voice for those interested in keeping up with the most ridiculous things that our culture is currently obsessing over. When I lived overseas, I got my news via Google and stayed on top of everything else with the Daily Show, the Colbert Report, the Chappelle show, the Mind of Mencia (which really went downhill after the first season), and South Park.

I just caught the tail end of Chris Rock's Never Scared performance. Like always, he put on an entertaining, thought-provoking show.

I'd have to say, Chris Rock and George Carlin have consistently produce things worth watching and sharing with others. On that note, George nails my feelings on the impending elections:

I am going to vote for the candidate who I dislike the least, but I'm not going to lecture anyone who stays home...

Rediscovering Weekends

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Ah, to socialize on a Sunday! I forgot what it was like to have my days off overlap with my friend's days off. Going a year working on Saturdays and Sundays has profoundly affected how I socialize, though it is not all bad.

Nowadays, I usually spend half of my first day off working at the Tuna Research and Conservation Center, doing water quality, prepping food, and maintaining the place (siphoning tuna shit, scrubbing bio-growth from the sides of the tanks, and scraping rancid anchovy fat from Weir boxes is time consuming and labor intensive). The next half of the day is usually spend doing chores and errands.

My second day is either dedicated to other chores, but sometimes I get a day that I get to spend how I really want to. On these rare occasions, I try to find cool places around here to hike on the cheap. It seems like every park wants to charge people money to use the trails. I'm happy to contribute money to help protect our natural resources, but I can't afford to pay as much as they ask. Like many others, I am more than happy to hike a bit longer to avoid the fees, and this is one benefit of having Tuesday and Wednesday as days off - I usually have the trails all to myself.

On Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays, I work. After work, I am usually not up for much more than a movie, or hanging out for a few hours, and then it's bedtime. Living in a small town, once again, has made me want to go to bed early every night.

For about a year, I had been intending to visit Joy and Eric, up in Los Gatos, but our schedules never overlapped, so I was never able to make the trip. I ended up going today, and we tried out a new restaurant, went hiking in the hills, had a Wii bowling tournament, and had a nice dinner together. I used to do things like this with friends on a regular basis, but since starting this job, these days spent with other people have been few and far between.

The drive out to Los Gatos, via the 17, was like driving through the Japanese mountainsides, except the roads were wider and there was more traffic. Clouds drifted right over the roads, and the dense foliage was rich and had a green usually reserved for the beginning of the Spring months. It reminded me of some of the roads that I drove down in Kagoshima.

On a sad note, it looks like the auto-focus on my D50 might be broken. I hope that I am wrong, but we shall see... Cleaning and testing equipment is something I will add to the ever-changing list of things to do.

Also, it doesn't look like I will make it up to the powder this Tuesday or Wednesday. Boarding, it seems, will have to wait for another time...

For all of you that have regular weekends off, enjoy them! For if they ever shift to non-standard days off, your social life will almost certainly be a little lonelier.

If I had a cappuccino maker...

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...I would add this to my list of things to do on vacation.

Away from work

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For the past year, I've dedicated myself to learning everything about my job at the aquarium. On my time off, I read books about marine biology, social marketing, how the brain works, leadership, and science. I've also started up a couple of internal blogs at the aquarium, which are much less fun and even less rewarding to post to. At least when I post here, it doesn't feel like I'm having a conversation with only myself. In the race to get a public-facing blog up and running, I lost. In this new year, I will make one last hard push in the hopes of jump-starting these other blogs, and if it fails, then I will move on.

Which brings me to this mini-vacation. After working on a few of my weekends, I accrued 3 extra days that I am now using to make a 5 day vacation- a much needed respite from the work environment. As cool as it is to work at the aquarium, it is a place that will take as much as you have to give and more.

Yesterday, due to the high winds and rain, the power went out all around Monterey County. When I got off of work, we drove along a coastline devoid of lights, other than the stray passing car. I almost expected to see zombies emerge just outside of the reach of our headlight beams.

It's amazing how many candles it takes to generate enough light to read a book with. It's also amazing to see just how much we depend on electricity for our basic needs, our work, and our entertainment. I was just glad that the water and gas were still working, so I could use the restroom and take a shower.

Can you imagine not having running water? I imagine that we would set up a plastic bag in a bucket to make a crude squat toilet in case our water ever stopped flowing. For bathing, we could use the 50 degree waters at the Lover's Point beach, which would probably best be used in the morning before work. Dried salt would form grains that itched every time we shifted in our clothes.

The power turned back on for a few hours, but was out from early this morning until half-past noon. I went to the Post Office to pick up a parcel, but they had locked their doors without an explanation. I could hear the employees inside, sorting mail and chatting, and decided to go read a book over at Border's. So much for the old post officer credo. Rain and wind, it turns out, can effectively keep you from getting your mail.

I have allowed this vacation to sneak up on me, and have decided to let it decide what it wants me to do, but I have certain things I want to accomplish:

1. Get my mail! But tomorrow is Sunday, and the P.O. is closed so it will have to wait.
2. Start cooking again. Tonight I will look for short rib recipes and think of what courses I want to eat.
3. Plow through my growing list of books to read. I feel like they're starting to stack up like a losing game of Tetris.
4. Get out on the trail more. I am now equipped with my trusty Mephistos.
5. Concentrate on photography a bit more, specifically shooting in manual mode and paying more attention to exposure.
6. Fomulate new strategies for the new year.
7. Visit friends who I haven't had time to visit due to my unique schedule.
8. Lay out options for education and extracurricular activities (diving, exercise, etc...).
9. Test out my rain gear on the way to a waterfall hike.
10. Post more here instead of the other blogs.

And for the 10th thing I want to accomplish, this should merely be getting back into the practice of documenting the thoughts and ideas that go through my head each day. It should be much easier to do with a 5 day break than my usual 6 day grind, as i usually have things I want to say during the day, but I steadily lose momentum due to other distractions and challenges by the time I come home.

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I have been thinking about Japan a great deal lately. During my three and a half years over there, I developed a strong attachment to the people, culture, places, food, and experiences that I have shared with friends, family, or myself. In future posts, I intend to write themes that are more well-developed, but I will now share some random thoughts and observations that pop into my head.

RE: The Last Samurai
I truly think I would like this movie if Tom Cruise were removed. It just isn't right that this Scientologist was chosen for the role of "last samurai" (or was he merely intended to be the last samurai's friend?). He, single-handedly, ruins the whole movie for me, and that's not even taking the Scientologist factor into account.

RE: Drink Bar
For those of you who have been to a family restaurant in Japan, do you miss the drink bar? Well, it turns out that Burger King and other fast food places now provide a similar set up where you can get different types of coffee drinks right next to the soda fountain. The only things that are missing are the ice cubes that you have to grab one at a time with a small pair of tongs, and the pot of consomme that no one really ever drinks.

RE: Sad Books on Japan
If you were to only read Michael Zielenziger's Shutting Out the Sun: How Japan Created Its Own Lost Generation, Alex Kerr's Dogs and Demons, and Karl Taro's Speed Tribes: Days and Night's with Japan's Next Generation, you would probably never want to visit Japan.

These books should be required reading for those who want to spend a year or more teaching in Japan, but they need to be put into context. There are just as many problems in any other part of the world you go to, they just happen to be different.

RE: The relative value of food
When I was living in the middle of Kyushu, in the hamlet of Ubuyama, I was surrounded by high-quality foods that incorporated ingredients that were locally produced, if not grown by the people that prepared them. I enjoyed these foods, but had cravings for In-N-Out, Mexican food, good cheeses, and many other foods and goods that were simply not available in my location.

I think I miss Japanese food, like tonkotsu ramen, izakaya food, and inaka-ryouri, more than I ever missed the foods I could not get in Japan. I certainly ate healthier, higher-quality foods when I lived abroad than I do now.

One cool thing is that In-N-Out still tastes as good as I remember it, probably because I don't get to eat it on a regular basis. By going without In-N-Out for long periods, it tastes so much better on those occasions when I do get to eat it.

Tip for travelers: If you are bringing In-N-Out to a friend or loved one that lives a long drive or flight away, order the burger "Protein Style" with the buns on the side. By packing the buns separately from the lettuce-encased innards, you can reheat the burger, maintaining the textural integrity and distinct flavors of the ingredients.

RE: Natural gas central heating vs. Kotatsu, Toyu and "space" heaters
It is nice to be able to change the temperature in an abode with the flick of a switch on the thermostat, and eliminate the trips to the gas station to buy kerosene, and to breathe in fumes that make your eyes water and stink up the air. If you live in an apartment, you can sometimes leech off of your neighbor's heat as well, eliminating the need for heaters.

I do miss my Kotatsu. It is really the hub for much of the socialization one has during a Japanese winter. Kotatsu tables hold portable burners to cook sukiyaki and nabe, beer and other libations, and provide a great place to take a nap on a cold evening.

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Well, that's probably more writing than I've done in the past two months on this blog. I'm going to stop now so that I can eat and get around to the other nine things on my list.

Creepy Stairway Video

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Somehow, a Beatles tribute band performing "Stairway to Heaven" makes the song seem evil...

Janken Strategies

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Chess is highly touted as a game of strategy played by intellectuals, but this is not the game that was used between Christie's and Sothersby's to decide who would be involved in auctioning off 10 million dollars worth of art:

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Theremin as played by a master

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You may have noticed that I no longer post to the Higo Blog like I used to. Since I started work at the aquarium, much of my energy has been put into starting up a blog at Monterey Bay Aquarium, and it's been a much larger challenge than I had ever suspected. Blogging has become work, and so when I get home, I don't often feel like posting about much of anything.

This makes me sad, because I am posting things on an internal blog that only a very few people will ever have access to. Meanwhile, this blog is starving for posts and new content.

So why this post, today?

A co-worker gave me a picture book of Kumamoto, and looking at it transported me back to another lifetime when I lived in my mountain village, Ubuyama. This prompted me to take a long look at my successors' blogs, and then my own, to remember what has slipped to the back of my mind.

I'm re-reading my posts from my time in Japan, and realize that I used to love to post. I was once a prolific blogger. There was a time where I would come home and look forward to concentrating my thoughts and pictures into a post. I would think of things that I wanted to post about the future and it became something that I really enjoyed.

I need to take some time to re-evaluate what this weblog means to me, and what I want to post here, and I think the best way to do that will be to start editing my blog from the beginning. As I brush up older posts, I hope to find inspiration to start writing and shooting again.

Or maybe I just need to move abroad again...

This looks fun!

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Umi Says

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One of my favorite Mos Def songs...

Little Headcrab

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Something dropped onto the nape of my neck and slowly scuttled down toward my right shoulder blade. Reflexively, I reached back with my left hand and squished the unseen creature between my thumb and forefinger with enough force to crush a Skittle.

Not feeling any pop or give, I was startled to see that it was a large tick. Intending to burn the little beast, I drowned it in the dregs of my tea instead.

There's nothing quite like the feeling of multiple hairy insect legs crawling over naked skin, and I would gladly never again like to experience it again. Especially little insects that can pass on diseases that can kill me or severely impact my quality of life...

Turtle on a Log

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Nova is dead

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It turns out that my hunch, that I wrote about in February of 2006, was correct. Nova, one of the big 3 eikaiwa (English conversation school) chains in Japan, has closed its doors to students and employees alike. How much does that suck for everyone?

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If you are looking to join a much better program (better pay, benefits, and quality of candidates- the only real con is that there is much less flexibility as to where you are stationed), check out JET, which will be accepting applications up until December 3rd, I think, for next year.

Chuck Feeney is my new hero

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It's sad to look at who, in our culture, is perceived to be a role model in the media. It sucks to see people get rewarded for being jackasses, to to watch these behavior patterns virally ripple out in all directions.

That's why stories like this are all the more extraordinary:
Reclusive Philanthropist Steps into Spotlight

Would you or I do something like this if you were put in a similar situation?

Thoughts on Tacos

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As the son of two parents who grew up in L.A., and one of two brothers who spent a few years in Japan craving and trying to faithfully recreate our beloved flavour of Mexican food, I have some pretty strong opinions about tacos.

I love food that reminds me of the way food tasted when I was a kid. I love my taco shells to be made of corn tortillas, freshly fried in olive oil. I love letting the cheese, preferably a nice cheddar, melt inside as the hot oil works transforms the texture of the tortilla from dry and grainy to crispy, slightly chewy, and a bit caramelized.

In Japan, corn tortillas were so expensive, and of such poor quality, that we subsided on flour tortillas, which could only be obtained during a rare expedition to the nearest Costco. Going to Costco was almost the equivalent of making a road trip to Vegas, only better because you were certain to return feeling 10 times richer than however much you spent, and some people I knew turned a profit from going on Costco runs for others.

Meat must be prepared with the standard "taco mix", and fried with diced potatoes, minced garlic, and chopped onions. By mixing the meat with these other ingredients, you will help to stretch out the meat, but more importantly, the onions will impart sweetness, and the potatoes will add to the textural flavourscape of your tacos.

Finally, to top off the tacos, guacamole is nice. I like mine to be a simple mixture of avocado, garlic salt, lemon juice, pepper, and minced garlic.

Recently, I have decided that lettuce is to be avoided, and replaced with a 50/50 mix of chopped cilantro and green onions.

On salsa: fresh salsa, both tomato and tomatillo based are awesome. Lacking these, Tapatio, or better yet Cholula, make for good substitutes.

Tacos should be enjoyed with friends and family. This is not to say you can't enjoy a taco alone, as sometimes this is a satisfying way to eat a meal, but I find that good company brings out the full flavor, both actual and sentimental, of the taco.

Tequila Sunrise

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While starting the day, I noticed a red light leaking into the bathroom window, peeked my head out the door, and ran to the beach to take some pictures before work.

It's not every day that you get a sunrise like this.

Zen of Krylon

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Bluefin Tuna and air bubbles

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What is happening in Burma / Myanmar?

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Mark has been posting about the protests in these areas, and is probably closer to the action than you or I.

Read more about what's happening here.

Polar Bear Bait >_<

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Dueling giraffes are kind of cool, but I'd like to see you top this (the Morning Musume clip where they have steaks attached to their heads almost compares to this):

Fiery Sunset on the Point

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Otter Aquarist

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Congratulations to my favorite older sister (not to be confused with my favorite younger sister or favorite older brother) on achieving your goal.

I expect you to know everything about otters by the end of this year, and yes, there will be a test.

Here is the first challenge. Name all four of the otters pictured here.

Memories of a summer past

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The Golden Mahi mahi

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This Coryphaena "showing a helmet" hippurus "horse tail" shows us that dorado means "gilded" in Spanish. According to one source, the mahi converts about 90% of its food into body weight, and can reach a length of 6.75 feet (and weigh almost 90lbs).

Apparently, they can reach 28 inches in six months and maintain a fast growth rate for the duration of their short lives. A really old dolphinfish might live to be 5 years old, but "current wisdom is that they live for a maximum of 4 years".

On a side note, I am truly baffled at how many people I hear ask "What's that fish that looks like a dolphin?". I know of no dolphin that has a blunt forehead and tapered body like the Mahi mahi. Their shape does remind me of a Sperm whale, though.

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Wherever they are common, dolphinfish are also a major commercial fish. In many locations around the world, dolphinfish are attracted to bundles of bamboo or cork planks, then encercled with nets. (Examples are the Shiira-zuke fishery of Japan, the Kannizzali fishery of Malta and the Matas fishery of the Balearic Island).

(from Probably More Than You Want To Know About The Fishes Of The Pacific Coast)

Besides being delicious, mahi mahis put up a great fight if you hook them, oftentimes jumping out of the water and "spitting the hook". Apparently, they're not that bright. One of my old roommates, Brian, used to tell me of how he caught them by improvising an inside-out Fritos bag as a lure.

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Though mahis will flash different colors when excited, they generally don't maintain this coloration for a long time. Hormones cause these color changes, which you will generally see when they are feeding, mating, or excited.

The color flashes of an excited dolphin fish are truly wonderful, but are short-lived like fireworks. When someone brings one of these home from a fishing trip, they usually mention how colorful they remember the fish being when it was brought on deck, and how colorless it looks after it dies.

Restaraunt Review: The Grand Buffet

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I haven't reviewed food in a while, but one visit to the Grand Buffet in Seaside, California, gave my gastronomic system such problems that I must issue a word of warning.

It all started after a game of disc golf at CSUMB, when we were trying to decide on a place to have dinner. I had always passed by the Grand Buffet, but had never gotten around to trying it.

The place was pretty packed, on Labor Day, with all sorts of people, and a huge spread at the buffet. The variety, as well as the soft serve machine and chocolate fountain initially impressed me.

The food was not very good, but it wasn't awful. They had a strange variety that included Italian (pasta, pizza, garlic bread), Mexican (menudo! at a Chinese Buffet!!!), Japanese (the sushi was squeezed so hard that the rice looked like mochi), and a ton of Panda Express-style Chinese food.

I picked out a bunch of chicken and pork dishes, with some vegetables, and visited the buffet twice. It was there that I had the foulest hot and sour soup I have ever tasted. Bile, chinese herbs, and burnt something is what it tasted like.

The food was so greasy that I didn't have the desire to try dessert. Dessert, ironically, was probably the safest option at this place.

My stomach let its voice be heard by converting this meal and all following food and beverages for the next 28 hours being converted into diarrhea. This was irksome for many reasons. I was limited in what I could do and where I could go for a day, the toilet required constant cleaning, and I couldn't even use baby wipes without wincing.

I don't want anyone to go through this, so I am advising you to stay away from the Grand Buffet for your own safety. Learn from my mistakes, so that I did not eat there in vain!

Hopefully, future reviews will focus on places that serve food that don't give you explosive diarrhea. Ah, it's my own damned fault. Never eat at a Chinese restaurant that serves menudo!

Added to the playlist

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Your Matisyahu video was really damned good, so good in fact that I have converted it into an MP3 so that I can load it on my IPod.

Violin and Turntables

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Now here's a funky introduction with some Ghostface, Roots, Gnarls, and more...

Polychaete Worm

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This is a polychaete worm that I found on a piece of drift kelp magnified at x50. Little beasties look a lot meaner under the microscope.

It's nice to have a mini-lab on board when you're looking at marine organisms.

Inverted Sunflower Star

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Pycnopodia helianthoides (AKA Sunflower Star or Sun Starfish) is a nasty customer. This is the T. Rex of the starfish, and can travel a blistering 40 inches per minute to boot.

When you get one of these in a trap, it is imperative to remove them right away, or they will clamp down on whatever it is grabbing onto with up to 24 tube feet-filled arms with such force, it may be unable to extract the animal without ripping off some of the tube feet.

They also have pincers on their top side that are used to discourage potential predators. In addition, they can secrete a mild poison when agitated. In the ocean, it acts as a mild deterrent, but if this stuff is contained in a small tank, it could cause more serious damage to fish or other animals in such a constrained environment.

This is from the MBA Field Guide:

Juvenile sunflower stars start life with five arms—by maturity they sport up to 24 arms.

Most sea stars have a one-piece, semirigid skeleton. However, the sunflower star’s skeleton has a few disconnected pieces. They allow the sunstar's mouth to open wide and its body to enlarge and take in big prey. A sunflower star can swallow an entire sea urchin, digest it internally and then expel the urchin’s test—its external shell.

In Monterey Bay, the sunflower star eats—in season—dead or dying squid. After the star digests the squid, the indigestible squid pen—its internal shell, which is too large to be defecated—works its way through the body wall.

I know of nothing that likes to eat Pycnopodia helianthoides, and I can see why. Besides the toxins, pincers, and enormous size (they grow over a meter long from tip to tip), they are covered in a viscous slime, much resembling a suit made of snot (it has the texture of grated yama imo).

It might be worth handling, just to give someone a hearty handshake immediately afterwards. I can just picture the look of horror on the hand of the recipient as they quickly withdraw from the shake, with tendrils of mucus stretching and extending like strings of natto linking the tips of a pair of chopsticks to a bed of freshly stirred fermented soy beans. Mmmmmm... Natto.

Full Moon Pictures

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Taking pictures in low light settings is challenging for me, but at least the moon stays still. Here are a few shots that I took from the past couple of nights:
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This picture was taken yesterday with the D-50.

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The moon still looks really full on this shot from today, taken on my DMC-TZ3.

Shark Attack near my apartment!

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My sister wanted to bring a surfboard up from Orange County so she could learn how to surf, but she has changed her mind.

I'm going to see if they've closed the beach over at Lover's Point as well. Here's a link to the article:

Shark attacks surfer in Monterey Bay

*BONUS* - MBA has a new white shark on exhibit. Only 4 feet and change, it kind of looks like a puppy, swimming around the Outer Bay Exhibit with the bubble curtain up.

The Hunters

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The Yellowtails are the coolest fish in the Kelp Forest Exhibit. Not only are they my favorite sashimi fish and great fighting on the rod, but they're also fun to watch under water. They cruise around like a pack of attack submarines, and the bait fish try to keep as far away from them as possible.

Oftentimes, the other fish will use this to their advantage and snag an Anchovy that's broken formation with the rest of the school and preoccupied with watching the Yellowtail. Many a Rockfish has gotten its lunch in said fashion, thanks to the Yellowtail.

On this day, one of the 'tails was chasing a Leopard Shark, that was three times it's size, around the exhibit. It kept on rubbing against the shark, and despite trying its hardest, the shark was unable to run away.

I wonder if it was using the shark as a back scratcher, to dislodge parasites, or asserting its dominance as king of the exhibit. Maybe it was a bit of both.

We spotted an object floating in the water, and went to investigate:
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From this distance, it is hard to make out. It was about the size of a small garbage can lid.

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A naturalist once saw something very similar to this in the kelp forest and got very excited. "White Shark!" was the call heard on the radio, but alas, it was not a White Shark. So what was it?

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It was a Mola mola, the awkward Ocean Sunfish, a ferocious predator of jellies, larval animals floating around as plankton, and perhaps seaweed and eel grass.

For some reason, my camera has been drawn towards this largest of bony fishes in different places. I am not the only one who likes the mola- I think it's the most popular fish in the aquarium. The big mola in the Outer Bay Exhibit, the one that weighs over 1000 pounds, has been given so many names by little children and smitten adults alike. If you were to tally the names, "big fish" would likely be the most common, followed by "ugly fish". I like to call it "Bob".

New Camera Day!

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I love my Nikon D-50, but ever since I traded in my trusty old battle-scarred QV-R40, I've really noticed how handy a pocket-sized camera is. I've been waiting to find one that I really liked, and finally settled on the Panasonic DMC-TZ3. Aside from having a Leica lens that boasts 10x optical zoom and virtually no shutter lag, it's just a really nicely designed camera. I'll be testing it out for a while, but here are some preliminary pictures from a 5 minute walk around my neighborhood:

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A bee pollinates a California poppy, which also happens to be our state flower. Its bright orange is much like that of the Garibaldi, California's state fish.
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A few months ago, Pacific Grove installed these tsunami warning signs along the coastline. I swear I've seen a design very similar to this in Japan somewhere.
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This barnacle shell has been taken over by seaweed. The shell broke off, the seaweed dried out, and now it is resting on the beach at Lover's Point.

With this smaller camera, I can be more discrete when taking pictures, I can take it places where the D-50 is impractical, and I can use it to shoot in ways that the D-50 can't.

With this new camera I'll be able to shoot using a display, which should be interesting. I find that the style of my photos is a bit different when I use a viewfinder, as opposed to looking at a screen to compose a picture.

It feels good to have more than just an SLR again. I wish every day could be New Camera Day!

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A tiny sea urchin rests between closed fingers.
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This is a shot of a polychaete worm and the same urchin.
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The blurs in the background are (rotating clockwise from the upper top) a shrimp, an isopod, a melibe, a limpet, and some other creatures. In the foreground, there are the urchin, polychaete worm, and a couple of juvinile Kellet's whelks that are either being amorous or quarrelsome. Their proboscises were extended as they wrestled together in what must have seemed to be the macro-marine equivalent of the Colosseum. No, they did not fight to the death, but if they did my money would be on the worm.

I recall that Justin and I used to use polychaetes as bait when we went fishing in Awajishima for kawahagi and other strange, exotic fish.
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The kelp crabs and decorator crabs are really good at hiding, and are not very eager to be photographed. It's amazing the variety of colors that they display, from lemon yellow to grass green to brick red.

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Peace and quiet have once again departed from the harbor, with the return of the California Sea Lions. Adding to the cacophony, the Sea Otters have been shrieking like banshees lately. To top it off, the gulls consistently wake me up in the morning with their vocalizations, and follow me to work with their squabbles.

There is something to be said for peace and quiet, especially in the morning when you are trying to sleep.

Sometimes, when the gulls are particularly loud and persistent, I come up with some interesting ideas. For example, I may develop an urge to hold onto the extreme annoyance that is conjured up by the squawking birds, and use it to wake up the gulls when they are trying to sleep. It is only after I am fully awake that I realize how stupid it would be to actually act on the ideas that pop into my head when I'm irritated in this too-early-in-the-morning state.

If I live long enough to develop Alzheimer's disease, will I become the crazy old man who goes out at night blasting away on the drums, exacting my revenge upon the birds? Now that's a scary thought...

If you're wondering how I've been spending my summer, I think pictures would best illustrate what I've been doing four out of five days during the week:
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The Derek M. Baylis is designed to be a research vessel, and a lot of thought went into its design to maximize workspace and to make it a model for all other research and educational vessels.

Among some of the notable features, the Baylis sports a wishbone boom (click here to read more about how the sailing mechanics work using a wishbone boom) and a motor that runs on a bio-diesel blend that "sips" gas. What is a wishbone boom and how is it different from a conventional one? The best explanation that I've heard is that a conventional boom is to a wishbone boom as a stick shift is to an automatic. The rig self-regulates the shape of the sail since it is suspended and not fixed to one point on the mast.

For more information on the Baylis, as well as Tom Wylie's other cool designs, check out this link:
Wyliecat Performance Yachts: Wyliecat 65

Monterey Bay Aquarium and Sealife Conservation run educational and leisure cruises in a joint venture. The aquarium provides the naturalists (of whom I am one) and sells tickets, while Sealife Conservation provides the crew and the boat.

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I usually start my day below the docks, picking up the clipboard that holds the ship's manifest. As you can tell, all of the male California sea lions are coming back from their summer down south in the Channel Islands, where they were busy mating. It's amazing how quickly they've returned, and how valuable real estate has become around the harbor.

Over 90 percent of the sea lions up here are males. The females prefer the warmer waters down south. As one visitor put it, Monterey Harbor sounds like a big frat house because of all of the noise and displays of dominance among the male sea lions.

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Giant kelp is the foundation of the ecosystem along the California coastline. It serves as a nursery, a food source, a place to hide, or a place to hold on to for countless organisms. On a piece of drift kelp that we pulled up today, we found polychaete worms, kellet's whelks, bryzoans, melibes, small shrimp, isopods, amphipods, a baby sea urchin, fish fry, decorator crabs, and kelp crabs. This was a spectacular haul and a great illustration that kelp is some really cool stuff.

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Kelp crabs are good at letting you know that they don't want anything to do with you. Their pincers are sharp like needles, and painful if they catch your fingers. They make searching through kelp interesting for those willing to paw through the slimy kelp.

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Anyone for paralytic shellfish poisoning? That's what you might get if you drank from the codpiece of our plankton net this afternoon (By the way, codpiece refers to the portion of the net where the plankton is concentrated, as the design was taken from a cod fishing nets and that's where the cods ended up. It is not, as I originally though, named after ye Medieval jockstrap.). The plankton that we've been pulling up have mostly turned the net a brownish green, but today it was red with dinoflagellates. Besides causing the red tide when they bloom, they are also responsible for phosphorescense.

I heard the following story from someone who works at the aquarium:

During WWII, the GIs in the Pacific learned that Japanese snipers used to target those using flashlights at night. At night time, some soldiers used their cotton shirts to sieve dinoflagellates out of the water, and allowed them to dry into a powder. By taking a pinch of the dehydrated dinoflagellates, they were able to read their maps with the faint blue light produced by smashing it between their fingers and avoid the snipers, who were looking for the yellow light produced by the flashlights.

So thanks partly to plankton, the Allies were able to achieve victory in the Pacific Theatre...

In addition, phytoplankton produces an over 60 percent of the Earth's oxygen and is the basis of the food web in the ocean. It sequesters CO2 as CaCO3 (chalk), and layers of fossilized plankton give us SiO2 rich deposits as well, which we use to filter out our swimming pools (salacious earth).

Plankton is some pretty cool stuff.

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If you drop a crab trap, or "benthic sampler" (there are many designs, my favorite being a clamshell design that traps mud from the sea floor), down to the bottom of the outer edge of the kelp forest, most of what you pull up is likely to be batstars. This one has it's stomach out. You may recall that starfish eat by bringing their digestive system to their food. They hug whatever they are eating with their stomach, in other words.

Some other cool facts about batstars:

The orange ones range down to Mexico and the purple ones up to Alaska, and they meet in Monterey.
They often host symbiotic polychaete worms which clean the batstars of food scraps and parasites.
Predators of batstars include, but are not necessarily limited to sea gulls, sea otters, and other larger species of starfish.
They can easily regenerate an arm if they happen to lose one.
Batstars are echinoderms, related to things like sand dollars, sea urchins, and sea cucumbers. If you look at echinoderms, they all have a pattern of five points radiating from the center.
Some batstars have up to seven arms, and at each tip of each arm is a primitive eyespot, with which they can sense the presence or absence of light.

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When the sails are raised, the boat starts to really show off how well it handles. We routinely hit 10 knots with a reefed main sail, without the help of the mizzen (the smaller sail in the back of the boat). Since the boom is so high, the foredeck is a pretty safe and comfortable place to enjoy the cruise. When it's time to put away the sail, the halyard is released and the sail quickly drops into the hammock below in a matter of seconds.

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This is a shot of Monterey Bay Aquarium in the foreground, looking down the length of Cannery Row. We stick to this area in the bay, as it provides a relatively sheltered patch of water, and a great view of the coastline. In this patch of coastline I've seen Humpbacks, Grey whales, Common Dolphins, Risso's Dolphins, Pacific White-sided Dolphins, Harbor Porpoises, California Sea Lions, Southern Sea Otters, and Harbor Seals.

200 years ago, there were grizzly bears feasting on whale carcases, and 300 years ago there used to be a giant sea cow, the Steller's sea cow, that munched on the giant kelp. After the sea otters were almost hunted to extinction, there were long periods of time where the kelp disappeared from the coastline. Only after otters started to re-populate the coast did the kelp forests return and stabilize.

By telling these stories, making ecological connections, and facilitating discussions, we are able to really educate and inspire those who come along for a ride on the Baylis.

Urban Graphics

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Some of the most accessible public canvasses in the world reside under one bridge or another, even in Monterey.

Unfortunately, graffiti in the US is dominated by taggers who lack skill and so desperately feel the need to be noticed.

Will the wild popularity of manga and anime in the States result in a shift from tagging to creating more legitimate works of public art? Hopefully, the answer will be yes.

CS Nerds

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Hahaha, it reminds me of the good old days...

Happy 33rd

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To my brother, "irreverent Atom Boy":

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I will celebrate your birthday by toasting you, and drinking a cold, crisp Fat Tire Belgian Ale.

One more firework

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I think this one turned out the best of the lot. Shooting at night is a bit more challenging, especially when you don't have a tripod. Luckily, the walking path provided a stable rail, providing the camera with a stable base.

Dusky Point

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Mid-year Resolution

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Why do most people make new year resolutions during the start of a new year? If you need to make a change now, chances are that you will forget about what it is that you want to change if you wait until the next year rolls around.

I know I've been really light in the amount of posts that I've been writing since I've started my job. I could list off reasons why this has happened, but that would make for a boring post.

Instead, I'm going to start taking more pictures and doing more post-worthy things. I guess this means that I have an excuse to buy the "necessary equipment" that I require to do the best job that I possibly can.

Damn, I should make resolutions more often.

Fireworks outside my apartment

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Last night was the Pacific Grove Chinese Lantern Festival, happening right next to my apartment. We sampled gyros, baklava, and calamari from the vendors who had set up food stalls next to the beach.

The residents of Pacific Grove obviously put a lot of effort into this event, as they had erected a faux pagoda on the tip of our small breakwater. A team of swimmers clad in wetsuits pulled a limo-sized dragon float through the water while a court of formally clad girls danced to multi-ethnic music (Japanese, Arabic, and Spanish songs were part of their repertoir).

We walked around for a bit, awed that so many people could fit on the beach and on the park at Lover's Point. Then we went home.

Just after the sun had set, we popped our heads out of the apartment to see this:
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I love being able to see cool firework displays right outside of my apartment. In this respect, living in PG is kind of like living in Juso, where I was able to walk down to the Yodogawa and see one of the best firework shows in Osaka. It's as if I am destined to live in places that are home to other people, like me, who like to watch and play with fireworks.

Fringehead

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...[fringeheads] have a great fondness for empty bottles and cans; the bigger the container opening, the bigger the occupant. In some areas, such as the beer bottle field at the head of Redondo Canyon, southern California, nearly every bottle will house a fringehead. A fish usually lies in its home (which it considers its territory) with just part of its head exposed. Fringeheads are extremely aggressive, and they will lunge at intruders (even divers) with jaws snapping.

This is an excerpt from "Probably More Than You Want To Know About The Fishes Of The Pacific Coast", a most excellent book by Milton Love.

A Pupfish Mystery

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I had already accepted that I would never see a live Death Valley Pupfish (I'm assuming that's the fish they're talking about). When I first heard about these guys, reports about their survival were pessimistic, but after reading this article I don't know what to think. Awesome.

It has happened in Japan, and it happens here.

To the postal workers around the world who check my mail from foreign countries: Would you all please start at least taping the envelope shut?

It's just common courtesy.

Fun with Insects

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I used to catch bees and hornets and placing them in the freezer for a few minutes. After they had stopped moving, I tied a thread around their thorax and waited for them to warm up in the sun. There was something inherently hilarious about taking a bee for a walk.

It seems someone has one-upped me using flies and a match. Ah, being bored leads to strange diversions.

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No Contest

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PBF executes this scenario way better than Extralife.

Mystery Cephalopod

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I love takoyaki and I love fried calamari, so what might be even better?

The octosquid might...

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Garrapata is one of the best places to hike around Monterey, because it starts out on the coast, leads inland through cactus patches and chaparral, and ends in a grove of redwood with a seasonal waterfall.

A bunch of us went to go have a small party under the moon on a small mountain next to the ocean, but the winds kicked up and we cut it a bit short. Nonetheless, it's always fun to go out and kick back with good company when you're looking at a sunset, the heavens and moon, or falling blossoms.

If it wasn't usually so cold or windy, I would be more inclined to do these things here on a regular basis. Maybe I should just have more bonfires...

Whales

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I saw a whale yesterday, when I was working on the boat, but it wasn't as spectacular as this.

Bonus links:
Twisted sea otters via Mika
Girls with spears and harpoons via Justin

Fun with Star Wars

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Check out Robot Chicken's Star Wars Special here:

link

My Neighbor Bambi

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Unless you live near Nara-koen, it's not every day that you see a fawn grazing in the yard across the street. It's not like that where I live either, but this is the second time in a month that I've spotted deer right outside of my door:

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Can you spot the Bambi?

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I kind of wish that there were bears around here to keep the Bambies company. Then again, it's nice to be able to throw away the trash without worrying about being attacked by large carnivorous animals.

This morning, I was able to participate with two other researchers in capturing one of the 30 pound bluefin tuna out of tank #3 at the Tuna Research and Conservation Center. After stretching a slightly too small wetsuit on, we climbed down into the tank, which had been drained down to about 3 feet of water (about 1/3 of its normal level).

Two others herded the tuna into a modified length of blue, rubberized tarp. The tarp, 3 feet tall, was clipped onto the side of the holding pen, and there were 5 foot poles spaced at about 5 feet apart. The poles provided handles with which to maneuver the partition, and provided a surprisingly balanced mix of rigidity, weight (for the bottom of the curtain), and buoyancy (to hold up the curtain to the top of the water).

Once the chosen tuna was corralled into the enclosure, I closed the gap, and the two others began their work. I thought it was going to be an epic struggle between man and fish, but it was all over quickly. Once the fish was maneuvered between Alex and the partition, he gently hugged it and placed it in the stretcher where it was taken to another tank. It was amazing to see the tiger stripes on the sides of the fish when we were doing this. Tuna look so cool!

Changing subjects, a few weeks ago, I saw something that shocked me. I was working on the Derek M. Baylis, a boat under contract with the aquarium, when I spotted a sea otter dragging something that looked like a sea gull around. I took a look through the binoculars, and confirmed that it was indeed a dead bird that the otter was dragging around and playing with. Just to be sure, I asked a crew member to confirm this, and he was also taken aback with what he saw.

Talking to the folks who work at the Sea Otter Research And Conservation Center, I found out that otters will "take care" of sea birds who try and mooch their food. If a sea gull picks on the wrong sea otter, sometimes it will get throttled, or dragged under water where it will drown.

So do otters eat sea birds? Yes, to some extent, though birds are not part of their regular diet. If you put yourself in the place of an otter who is tired of having his food stolen by sea gulls, it is not hard to imagine yourself mauling one. At least for me, it isn't. Those dang birds used to get into my potato chips and other stuff I brought to the beach when I was playing in the water in Huntington Beach!

The lesson that I took away from this otter encounter was that otters are not as cute and cuddly as they look, unless they are in pelt form. Then, and only then, they are the softest, cuddliest furry thing that you will ever feel.

Gnarly Theremin

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Justin bought this weird instrument a bit back, but I have a suspicion that he hasn't been using it. Well dude, here's something to aspire to:

Anyone Wanna Go?

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Take a look at who's playing at this concert:

Rock The Bells

If you're down to go see this awesome show (either in San Bernadino or San Francisco), let me know!

I haven't seen a line up for a hip-hop concert this great since Dave Chappelle's Block Party!

Mysticeti Jump

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This is a really good set of jump pics!

New Haniwa

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After an 8 month hiatus, I am have started to work on haniwa again.

For inspiration I've been thinking a lot about my childhood memories, of places I've been, of people I've met, and of music I love. Places I've traveled, movies I've watched countless times, and books I've read have also featured prominently in their creation.

It's been a challenge to actually break open a bag of clay and to actually start making something, but once I'm doing it I love the process. It's like that with a lot of things I find, whether it be cooking, exercise, or reading. In my mind, I know it's going to be fun, but I still need to push myself to actually do it.


Other notes:
I've taken the Komainu (guardian dogs) and reinterpreted them. The ungyo and agyo themes seem to work well as octopi.

I think I'll do a set of Japanese kana characters. Doesn't it look like he's saying "O"?

Patterns from kimono, ancient pottery, and other graphic sources make great sources of inspiration for patterning.

It's kind of nice working only with clay, and not messing with glazes and such. I'd like to start working with wood burning kilns in order to see what kind of effects that I can get by manipulating heat, ash, and clay mixtures.

Cash vs. Credit

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In Japan, I very rarely used my credit cards and regularly carried large denomination bills on my person.

In the States I use my cards more, and only use cash when I have to. Cash is reserved for places that don't take credit, splitting the bill when eating with friends, and as a reserve plan, just in case I need it.

I like being able to use credit cards everywhere, but only because I am very wary of over-spending on my limited paycheck.

What I don't like is trying to find a place that will accept large bills. At some places, you can sense the reluctance to accept them. Some places won't even take them. I can't remember one time someone wouldn't take a 10,000 yen note when I was in Japan. It just didn't happen.

Then again, there were few times where trying to use my credit card was easy over there. Usually, the clerk looked at it as if it were a puzzle to be solved, and a few minutes later summoned other clerks and then the manager who would either apologize that they didn't accept credit cards (I suspect that some of them may have accepted them, but didn't know it themselves because no one ever had used one in their store) or would take over control of the register and demonstrate part of why they had risen to the ranks of management.

It's hard to say which form of payment I like better. On one hand, I can do almost anything I need to with my credit card. There's no going to the ATM or planning how much I will need before going out. One major benefit is that as long as you report a card missing or stolen, if you lose your wallet the only money you will lose is the actual money in your wallet.

On the other, having to handle money, instead of just signing receipts, makes process of paying for something less abstract. You can actually see your money entering or leaving your possession. Unlike a credit card, thieves on the internet can't literally pick your pocket.

I don't know which I like using better, cash or credit. It would be nice to have a lot more cash though.


I'm going to end this post on something a bit off topic:

I really like bartering. Trading something hot off the grill for a beer, trading some chips for some cookies, and trading a book for a CD. It's been transactions like that which have given me the most satisfaction.

I think we should bring back bartering on a larger scale. Can you imagine paying your taxes in candy, or trading a chef some fish that you caught in exchange for a free dinner? Ah that would be awesome!

Changing Sleep Patterns

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I notice that it's a lot easier to face the morning now than ever before. I never liked waking up, but up until I started high school, I used to force myself to wake up on the weekends so that I could catch the morning cartoons.

Between high school and college, I gave into the urge to sleep in whenever possible. Up until 2 years ago, the sun coming up signaled time to go to bed on days that I wasn't working.

Now, I wake up an hour before work in order to shower, cook and eat breakfast, and walk to work. Sleeping in means staying in bed until 10:00 a.m.. It's nice not to feel dead in the morning, and I'm curious to see if, one day, I will routinely rise in time to watch the sun rise without feeling like my head is full of fog.

It feels so strange to not feel weird about going to bed early, and to actually want to go to bed early. I had to train myself out of trying to stay awake for a few years after college. In the end, it helps to live in a community made up of older folks, where there is nothing to do at night time.

Is this what it's going to be like as I get older? Is it going to continually be like how it was when I finally started to appreciate spicy foods (before I was a teenager, I didn't like spicy foods), beer (it took me until my 2nd year at UCSB to really appreciate the taste of good beer rather than the entertaining effects of drinking beer in general), or going to sleep early? How many things are there like this? I guess I'll just have to wait in order to find out.

Comments II

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I've turned off comments for now. Too much Spam. I don't like Spam.

I will turn them back on in the future, but for now I've had enough Spam. Damn Spam!

According to this story, it appears that hammerheads and possibly other species can reproduce without a father.

Here's an unrelated story on a new anemone found on the bones of a dead whale.

This is why I love marine bio. It seems like every month there is at least one new exciting discovery!

Bad people

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I really don't know what to say about this story from Kumamoto:
link

Some people should really not reproduce. So much unnecessary suffering and hardship is caused by people having babies that will not be adequately cared for.

And whose idea was it to create an anonymous unwanted baby drop off? I can't see how anyone would ever think that was a good idea! They were practically inviting this kind of thing to happen.

The poor kid is at the mercy of a bunch of idiots. It's things like this that make me depressed to be a part of humanity.

Pocket Puppy

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This post is dedicated to my little sister, who asked for me and Justin to post stuff for her to read in between tests:

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This is Yvel. She now has a new, stupid name, but her real name is and shall always be Yvel. When she was young, I used to carry her around in my pocket and she would fall asleep.

Yvel was the smartest of the puppies, and the craziest. She would stop at nothing to attack your toes, and relentlessly smashed through obstacles in order to lick her victim. She also had the strange habit of hopping around like a little bunny.

Aside from her name, it sounds like Yvel is doing well. I have heard that she dines on filet mignon, drinks expensive mineral water, and rolls around in a Bentley. I bet she liked my pocket better.

Deep Focus

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The Deep has some awesome photos of deep sea creatures, many of them taken by MBARI, and featured in Mysteries of the Deep (not to be confused with the National Geographic series of the same name), one of the shows at Monterey Bay Aquarium.

Check out the impressive gallery on the book's site (the link is on the bottom right corner).

It's coming out in June. Check out the preview here.

On the way up from Huntington Beach, Kohei and I picked up some fresh, wild-caught shrimp in a small town right before we reached Santa Barbara. If you are familiar with that stretch of coast line, it's the place that used to have the banana plantation back in the day.

Unfortunately, I didn't take any pictures, but the place selling the shrimp was like something you might encounter in Mexico or a rural coastal village in Thailand. I saw no signs advertising their shrimp, only a broken down taco truck converted into a produce stand, which also sold long skateboards.

Kohei inquired if they were the place that sold shrimp, and the young dude cleared some lettuce off of a battered box, and removed the lid to expose some really fresh shrimp. It still had bright pigmentation, and the only smell was of fresh sea water.

I drove off with my mind blown that such a place could exist, hidden from everyone other than the locals right next to the 101. This is what I had grown addicted to in Japan: finding places that no one else knew of that were extraordinary. Since returning, I've found such places, but not nearly as frequently as I did in Kyushu and Kansai.

What was the chances of finding 2 places that surprised me in one day, covering a stretch of California that I have driven through countless times? Well, it was pretty good that day.

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"What do you recommend for lunch?" is a question I've asked Ko on many occasions, and he has never done me wrong. Tri-tip burgers in Long Beach, Pink's Hotdogs, and the best chili fries in L.A. are only a few things that we have enjoyed on an afternoon. This guy knows good food, but I was still more than a bit confused when he recommended a Chinese place for Mexican food.

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We walked into the restaurant at about 2pm, and there was no one to show us to a seat. Instead, we walked up to a window next to the kitchen, wrote down our order on an order pad. We summoned the cook, and he shaved a seemingly insignificant portion of meat off of the stack, serving us 3 tacos apiece.

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This beautiful ball of sizzling pork reminded me of all of the great chunks of roasting meat I've sampled, notable those of the kebab places in Pike's Place Market in Seattle, of tacos in Mexico, and of Churrasco in Kobe.

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The salsas and condiments were top rate as well. Notably, they served their tacos with a side of canned pineapple that perfectly complemented the tacos. Pico de gallo, cilantro and onions, jalapenos, sliced radishes, guacamole, and other toppings rested underneath two Shisars, a lacquered hyotan, and a samurai helmet display. Could this place be any more awesome?

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The owner clearly liked fishing and hiking in the mountains, as he decorated the restaurant with mounted fish and family pictures in the Sierras. I have no idea about the history of this restaurant, but I intend to return and find out. It will give me a good reason to go back and enjoy some of the best tacos I have ever tasted!

On the China Bowl website there is no mention of tacos, but take my word for it: it is well worth your time to stop by this place if you find yourself passing through Santa Maria. Long live Chinese tacos!

Views from my daily commute

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This is what I get to look at every day on my walk to work:

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It's a little under 2 miles from my apartment to work, and takes about 18 minutes to walk from start to finish. Of course, I'm talking about walking at an Osaka pace, so it would really be more like 25 minutes at a leisurely stroll.

Every morning, I am very aware that I could be sitting in traffic on the 405. Yes, I know that I am a lucky bastard.

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This is Hopkins Beach, the home of many sausage-shaped harbor seals. I saw some newborn pups last week, so there'll probably be a lot more of them when I get back to Monterey.

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Thanks to the changing seasons, the sun is higher in the sky when I walk to work. It's kind of cool getting up in time to watch the sun rise, but I much prefer the longer days of summer.

I hadn't realized how large my backlog of photos has grown since I've started working at MBA. For the sake of posting, I think I need to take more vacations.

A Simian Mug

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Take a look at this fish. What would you say its face looks like?

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The monkeyface-eel lives along the coasts in tidepools and eat mainly algae and crustaceans. A friend of mine has gone fishing for these, using a poke-pole, and says that they taste pretty good, though cleaning them can be problematic. Their skin is so slippery that it is hard to cut a fillet off of their body.

Dishonesty sucks

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Alright, I have a bone to pick. Some jerk ripped off my pictures, and his page got Dugg to the #1 spot today:

(This site has been completely changed now, thanks to the support of readers like you!)
http://www.bloggingwv.com/the-worlds-most-amazing-fishtank/

Here's the Digg link:
http://www.digg.com/general_sciences/The_worlds_most_amazing_fish_tank_PICTURES

And my original post:
http://www.cosmicbuddha.com/adam/archives/002230.html

If you're as disgusted as I am by this individual, please drop by the West Virginia Blogger's site and Digg and let everyone know how you feel.

This sucks: I'm flattered that the Digg community liked my content enough to earn a #1 ranking, but I'm pissed that someone would post the content and not give any sort of credit where credit is due, let alone ask permission.

Who does this individual think they are? Wouldn't they think that I'd be keeping track of my page after I'd been Farked and increasingly thumbed-up on Stumble Upon? Ultimately, in seeking attention through Digg, he pwned himself.

The following is a comment that I left on the guilty blog:

As the owner of the pictures that you posted without my permission on your site, I am asking you to take them down.

I also think that an apology is in order.

Re-posting other people's content without making it clear that you had nothing to do with anything other than copying and pasting stuff to your own page is dishonest and misleading.

I think you owe it to yourself to modify your behavior.

I hope that you are as disappointed in yourself as I am of you.

All right, I'm through for now. Gonna go to bed.

***Update***

The comment above was successfully posted to his page, but he deleted it like a coward. Below is the comment and response that he left, after deleting the other one:

# Adam Says: April 8th, 2007 at 12:25 am

Yo, if you’re going to repost images from my site, the least you can do is give credit:
http://www.cosmicbuddha.com/adam/archives/002230.html
# Bucky Says:

April 8th, 2007 at 1:40 am

ADAM,

I didn’t get the images from your site. They were sent to me as an email FWD.

Nice blog BTW.

I could really care less about what "Bucky" thinks of my blog. What I want is for my pictures to be removed, and for an apology. Is that really too much to ask?

Just to give fair notice, I've just posted this:


I couldn't care less about what you think of my blog.

I will ask again:

1. take down my pictures
2. apologize

I will remind you that my content is protected by a Creative Commons license and I DO NOT give you permission to have them on your site. It doesn't matter how you acquired them. For the record, your excuse is pitiful.

Erasing my comments will not make me go away.

along with the other comment that he erased. OK, now I'm really going to sleep.

***Update 2***

Bucky has blocked me from commenting, but I really need to get some sleep. Let's see how things pan out tomorrow.

***Dirt off my shoulders***

Thanks to everyone who backed me up on this, and thanks to everyone who dropped by my post and left comments.

Both of my requests were ultimately met, with a twist.

He kept the post, deleted all of the comments pertaining to my post and from those who backed me up, and has posted a story (that has already been Dugg in the past by someone else, big surprise!) to bring in residual traffic. It's kind of funny to see how much he still treasures getting exposure. It's also amusing to see how poorly the old comments match up to the remodeled post.

I wish I would have kept a record of the comments that urged him to do the right thing, as no one really was overtly hostile. Most of the comments were civil, and sounded like something a nice first grade teacher would say to gently nudge a misbehaving child in the right direction. It would be a stretch to call any of the feedback that he received "flaming", though Justin's challenge of letting the comments stand used some colorful language. I have a feeling Justin would make a good high school teacher, and perhaps a preschool teacher as well.

Lastly, check the comments to this post. I was a bit surprised about his request, but will chalk it up to sleep deprivation and extreme embarrassment (on his behalf, of course).

Reminiscing of Ryukyu

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Watching this conjures up memories of awamori, umibudo, goya champuru, taco rice, and stewed pig's feet while listening to the laid back twangs and beats of the shinsen and taiko, accompanied by hauntingly beautiful vocals of a dialect that I love to listen to, yet do not understand.

Little Evil vs. BJ Penn

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The 3rd season of Ultimate Fighter has Jens Pulver and BJ Penn as coaches on opposing teams, and they're going to fight on the last show!

Both of these fighters are among my favorites, and despite being conflicted on who I want to win, I know it's going to be a good fight.

In other news, Sam Sheridan's book, "A Fighter's Heart" is really good. I remember watching him on National Geographic a few years back, and it's interesting to see how he's progressed in his fighting career. This guy trained with Team Miletich and got a magazine to foot the bill in return for writing about his experiences. He has that special mix of eloquence and grit, the qualities that make a warrior poet.

Use the pliers...

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This fish has big teeth:
link

Puppies of Spring

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This set was actually taken in the Fall, but the 7 seem more like harbingers of Spring to me. As much as I don't like small dogs, these puppies were the best puppies in the world. They weren't the smartest, nor the most ferocious or dependable, but they were the happiest dogs I have known.

I hope that they're all living happy lives. I feel like an uncle to them.

Killer and Pinky are under the care of my parents, Yvel (now named "Chanel") now rides in a Bentley in Carmel, Cat and Spanky are also millionaires and live in a multimillion dollar house near Monterey, Blaze lives in Fountain Valley, and Monster resides with a Veterinarian in Huntington Beach.

These are a bunch of lucky dogs. Thank goodness for that, as they would have zero chance of surviving in the wild. They have very few wits amongst themselves to fend off wolves, coyotes, and mountain lions.

These dogs, my dogs, now eat filet mignon and drink only expensive mineral water. That's kind of cool, hahaha!

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A tale of two fishes

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What's the difference between the words "fish" and "fishes",? This was explained to me a few weeks ago in a lecture about fishes (and if you feel I've left anything out, please let me know):

Fish (I'm just dealing with the noun form, pertaining to language used by aquarists, keep in mind) can mean an individual or a group of the same species of fish.

Fishes, on the other hand, deals specifically with the plural of two or more species.

So does this mean that the sentence "I eat a lot of fish." is wrong if you enjoy eating salmon, tuna, yellowtail, barramundi, and other types of fishes? I don't think so, but I'll ask around.

Anyhow, on to the pictures. One fish pictured is a gar. The other fish is a goldfish. One of them ate the other one, and though the outcome was predictable, I was not expecting to see the following play out.

I don't know enough about gars to hazard a guess at which species this is, but I can tell you that it is the King (or Queen) of the tank.

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Maneuvering by using mostly its muscular pectoral fins, the gar slowly positions itself for a meal.

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The attack is lightning fast, and devastating to the goldfish. Pressure sensitive canals are lined up along its snout, and function much like a lateral line, letting the gar sense changes in water pressure. It attacks by lining its prey up right next to its mouth, and then snapping it up with its needle-like teeth while flexing its body to one side.

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For some reason, the gar spat out its meal, and started to drag the disemboweled goldfish around. It reminded me of a master walking his dog.

After a few minutes, the intestines finally snapped, and the gar finished its grisly meal.

LOTR: the Passing of the Torch

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Brian Herbert, with Kevin J. Anderson, took up the Dune universe's story after his father, Frank Herbert, passed away. I thought he did a very good job in staying true to his father's vision, and really enjoyed the two books of his that I read ("House Atreides" and "House Harkonnen").

I am very interested to read "The Children of Hurin" by Christopher Tolkien (son of J.R.R. Tolkien), which is coming out next month. Just like Brian Herbert, Christopher Tolkien used his father's extensive notes to complete a work in progress that was never finished.

One of the major themes of the worlds of these books are the legacies that previous generations hand off to future generations. It is fitting that the sons of two great authors, Tolkien and Herbert, have finished the work that their fathers had started.

Whale Bomb

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I remember hearing about another whale exploding on the streets of China a few years ago. Well, it happened again in Taiwan. This time with a Sperm Whale:

link

Why would the researchers wait until now to move a whale from the beach. Did they not think about the consequences of letting a whale decompose for 2 months before doing a necropsy?

Can you imagine the carnage? Putrid whale entrails splattered on the buildings, cars, and the street with such force and volume that it stopped traffic...

National Geographic, April 2007

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The latest issue of National Geographic magazine is exceptional, which is the highest praise I can give it. I've grown up reading this magazine, and the two main stories are both on topics that I love.

The main story is entitled "Saving the Sea's Bounty" and is broken down into:
The Majestic Bluefin
Safe Haven in New Zealand
Village of Empty Nets

The smaller story is entitled "The Roots of Hip-hop".

Both stories are really well done.

You can take a look at what's inside at the National Geographic Magazine website.

Comments

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For the moment, comments are down, so don't feel bad if they aren't getting posted. I'll be working on updating this blog, and will let you know when comments are back online. Thanks for your patience.

One evening, the moon was intensely bright and illuminated everything on my walk home from work. Ignoring my hunger, I grabbed my D50 as soon as I got home, and snapped some pictures.

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This is a view from my front door. Lacking a tripod, I improvised by resting the camera on a rail, and using my SOG multitool to get a better angle.

I wanted to see what it looked like in front of the trees in the distance, so I put my shoes back on and headed over to the Point.

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There were many families down at Lovers' Point, mostly Hispanic. I thought it was cool that as I was shooting, more and more of them showed up, and started having picnics on the grass. It was a cultural remix of the tsukimi parties that I'd attended in Japan.

As the seasons transition from Winter to Spring, I find myself remembering all of the flower viewing parties that I enjoyed in a time not too long ago.

Located not a minute away from my apartment is a park located right on the beach, with public picnic areas and barbecues. Now all you(and you all know who "you" are) have to do is drop by, and we can enjoy grilled meats and vegetables while watching the sun set by the Bay. Beer is in the 'fridge... Let's 'Q.

Sea Animal Submarines

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You have two marine animals to choose from:

Fabien Cousteau's Shark

Innerspace's dolphin

Aphex Mickey

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(thx Brent)

IV TV meets Troops

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There used to be a cool show on public access television in Santa Barbara called IV TV that chronicled the happenings in Isla Vista, U.C. Santa Barbara's college town. This was the best independent TV show ever, and dealt with controversial topics as well as the crazy stuff that went on back then.

One of the craziest shows captured the aftermath of David Attias slamming his car into 5 pedestrians, killing 4 of them. I was one of many that night that was out on those streets that night. I think the whole town felt united in their rage and sadness, following this senseless act. IV TV was on the scene, and showed us what happened.
(for more on this topic, check out this post)

It was in college that I was introduced to the Troops vids. These shorts were pretty cool, and gave us a glimpse of the Star Wars Universe in much the same way that Dante and Randall speculated about the loss of innocent life as a result of blowing up the Death Star in The Return of the Jedi.

I watched the following video, which brought back memories of IV TV and Troops:
Stabbing at Leia's 22nd Birthday

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Ah, it brings back so many memories...

Polish

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Like my brother, I get a real sense of satisfaction from keeping a car in good condition. I don't particularly enjoy washing, waxing, vacuuming, shampooing, or doing the other things that make a car look great, but it feels pretty good to know that it is being maintained in the best condition possible. Waxing a car is a tedious, time consuming process, but when you wipe away the haze to reveal a mirror-like finish and see a previously hidden depth exposed, it is all worth it.

Most of you don't take the time to wash and wax your cars yourself, and unless you do, you won't understand the exact feeling I'm talking about. No, taking your car to the car wash won't accomplish the same thing.

Since I've returned to the States, this is the 3rd car that I'll be involved in selling. I'm getting it into the best shape I can before it's going to be sold, as I have done with the previous two cars.

On another note, I know I haven't been posting any great posts or new pictures lately, and I apologize for that. Give me a bit more time to figure things out and to regain my equilibrium while I develop my focus. I'll be working on it, even if it isn't apparent right now.

They Might be Science

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TMBG are cool because they explain seemingly complex scientific things through song.

One of my favorite TMBG songs describes fusion on the Sun:

"The Sun is a mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace where hydrogen is built into helium at a temperature of millions of degrees The Sun is hot, the Sun is not a place where we could live, But here on Earth there'd be no life without the life it gives."

link-check out the cool animation of the bio-mechanics of the ear.

Do you want to see what they were able to do with the circulatory system? Check out this cartoon titled Bloodmobile.

Mola mola mola mola mola

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The Sunfish (aka Mola mola, Headfish, Mambou (Japanese), or as many children and adults call it, the Uglyfish) is one of the Aquarium's most popular attractions.

I would write a post dedicated to the Mola mola, but Fogonazos already has. Take a look here:

link

Octopuses don't have tentacles

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That's right, octopuses don't have tentacles, they have arms. Squids have 8 arms and 2 tentacles.

So how are tentacles different from arms? They are usually longer and, in general, only have suckers at their ends.

If the cephalopod doesn't have tentacles, it's most likely an octopus. If you want to get even more confused, check out why the Vampire squid isn't quite a squid or an octopus here.

I hate discovering that things that I've believed since I was a child are wrong! Sometimes I'm just not in a mood to be humbled, I guess. In search of knowledge, the road is windy and endless.

Apparently the arms and tentacles of the cephalopods that we know and love fall under the term "muscular hydrostat". According to Wikipedia, a muscular hydrostat is:

"a biological structure found in animals. It is used to manipulate items (including food) or to move its host about and consists mainly of muscles with no skeletal support. It performs its hydraulic movement without fluid in a separate compartment, as in a hydrostatic skeleton. The principle behind the hydrostatic skeleton is that water is effectively incompressible at physiological pressures. Thus, a fiber-wound chamber full of water will act as a constant-volume system. What makes the muscular hydrostat unique is that it relies on the same principle, but there is no water-filled cavity. Instead, the bulk of the organ is made up of muscle, which also has constant volume and is effectively incompressible, its main material being water. Thus, instead of a cylinder wrapped with muscle and connective tissue that changes its shape, a muscular hydrostat is a cylinder made of muscle."

So what is a muscular hydrostat? The bodies of worms, the trunk of an elephant, the arms and tentacles of cephalopods, and the tongues of animals.

So even now that I know this, I don't think it's necessarily important for me to correct others who say that octopuses have 8 tentacles, just as I don't think it's important that people stop using the term "Great White Shark". After all, even if you use these incorrect terminology, people will understand what you are talking about.

Language, in itself, is an imperfect metaphor for us to make sense and communicate these ideas of our perception of reality, so isn't being understood more than sufficient most of the time? If not, most people wouldn't care to debate the issue anyways...

I guess I'm still experiencing lingering annoyance at my ignorance, but since I've typed this out of my system, I feel much better!


Here's a story about the largest known creature that has muscular hydrostats:

link (via my Mom)

"(Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni a.k.a. the Colossal Squid) attains a size larger than the giant squid. Giant squid is no longer the largest squid that's out there. We've got something that's even larger, and not just larger but an order of magnitude meaner."

On a lighter note, take a look at this Conservapedia entry on the Pacific Northwestern Tree Octopus. Ah, good stuff...

Flashbang Cephalopods

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It appears that Taningia danae, a deep-sea squid, uses "bright flashes to disorientate potential victims", much like Ts and CTs use flashbangs in order to blind, confuse, and incapacitate their opponents in CS.

Check out the story here, and don't miss the video.

Fire in the hole! Me ga mienai!

Ah, sometimes it's fun to revel in one's own nerdiness.

On a side note, I am willing to bet that T. Danae tastes nasty. I know that the smaller, bioluminescent hotaru ika (firefly squid), considered a delicacy in Japan, doesn't rate among my favorite calamari dishes.

Is Mencia a theif?

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***Update 5***
Um, this is getting to be pretty hard for Mencia to explain away...
link

***Update 4***
Carlos Mencia and Bobby Lee weigh in on the feud.

***Update 3***
Techdirt discusses the irony of the DCMA taking the side of Mencia, who allegedly plagiarized other comedians' acts, against Joe Rogan, who exposed Mencia.

Also, this video actually works (for now):

***Update 2***
Ah, this keeps on getting better:
link

***Update***
Joe Rogan got banned from the Comedy Store as a result of the video. Luckily Joe has his gig as a UFC commentator and other venues to perform comedy to fall back on.

Mencia might have won this battle, but it will be interesting to see if his credibility can remain intact in the long-term. For that matter, I'd like to hear his perspective on all of this.

(This video is the one that the DMCA had taken down)

My brother and I enjoyed watching the first season of The Mind of Mencia, but then his stuff started getting old and repetitive to the point where I would change the channel if his program came on. I noticed that others felt similarly about the show. Why had Mencia's show started off with such a bang and then fizzled out?

Joe Rogan's account of his on-stage confrontation with Mencia gives the reader a possible explanation.

Did Mencia, or "Ned", really steal some of his material? Why is he not forthcoming about his non-Mexican heritage?

The video and Rogan's entry are undoubtedly biased against Mencia, but after reviewing the video I am left questioning the integrity of Mencia and his material.

Tabehodai for white sharks

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Like Calvin, I don't like to think of apex predators as scavengers. This is fascinating footage, but it is kind of disappointing to my childhood perceptions of white sharks, like the theories of the T. Rex being a scavenger made Calvin angry.

From a conservation standpoint, it is essential to dispel the myth of sharks as killing machines. The overwhelming majority of shark attacks on humans are accidental, and more people are killed by lightning each year than by sharks. Jaws is what we imagine a creature as awesome as the White Shark to be.

This isn't to say that shark myths shouldn't be preserved and enjoyed. Jaws was a good movie, and sharks make great antagonists in a story. These stories, however, shouldn't be used as justification for hunting sharks to the point where they are unable to sustain a healthy population.

Much in the same way that people should stop blaming violence on TV and in video games for the violence that occurs in the real world. When we're children, most of us can figure out the difference between the pretend world and reality. As long as some of us are unable to (which I am guessing is a very small minority), or, more commonly, are desperate for a scapegoat it will continue to be frustrating for those of us who have to watch these things unfold.

(thanks to Justin, via Maven, for the link)

Shucking Lobsters

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What does an uncooked lobster that has been stripped of its shell look like?

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(scroll down)

I'm not one to cry for lobsters, or anything else that I eat for that matter, but I would imagine that being processed in this fashion would hurt. For us, this would be the equivalent of not only peeling away the skin, but more importantly, extracting all of our bones as a whole.

Giant steps are what we take...

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The Police are reunited!

link

I have always felt cheated that I wasn't able to go to a Police show, but now I might be able to listen to their music live and in person.

I feel the same way about Bob Marley and the Wailers, but maybe it's for the best. Bob is immortal.

I don't think the Police will be disappointing, but then again I didn't think that the Star Wars Prequels would be anything less than awesome. If things don't pan out, I can ignore the new stuff and just keep on listening to their older recordings.

I only wish I could do that with Star Wars, but my copies of episode 4-6 show Greedo drawing his blaster first and all of the other "enhanced" bollocks that George Lucas appended onto his original works.

On a side note, isn't "bollocks" a great word. We should all use it a bit more often than we do.

Bollocks!

A Grim Fairytale

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"After a long search for a better way to stop extreme bleeding, the U.S. Army has purchased more than 400,000 bandages made from chitosan, a polysaccharide extracted from the exoskeletons of Icelandic shrimp."
Another cool thing about Chitosan: it's a carbohydrate, so people that are allergic to shrimp can use it, since the proteins are the culprit of a histamine reaction. link

The scent of cloud seeds

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Did you know that DMS, a gas produced by phytoplankton, not only serves as a nucleus for water to collect and form clouds, but also is responsible for the Ocean's distinctive smell? Read more about DMS in this article, or here.

Frilled Shark Video

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This eel-shaped shark was spotted a few days ago off the coast of Shizuoka prefecture. Prior to reading about the Frilled Shark (Chlamydoselachus anguineus) I had no idea that sharks other than the Six-gilled Shark had six gills.

An Outsider's Perspective: Tenrikyo

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Japanzine did a pretty good write up on the Tenri City and the Tenrikyo religion:

<blockquote>Unlike the Mormons' inner sanctum, the Tenri main temple is open to unbelievers. We were allowed to walk anywhere we wanted within the 800 meters of the building. In some rooms people were casually praying (doing the te-odori hand dance and singing), while in others, the solemnity and seriousness of prayer was quite tangible. We walked by women receiving the Sazuke, or Divine Grant, an official license to begin spreading the word and recruiting followers.

To my dismay, no one tried to convert us while we were there. We found everyone to be quite friendly, and encountered zero hostility. As an added bonus, arriving a few days after New Year, we also received massive bags of mochi, free, from God herself!</blockquote>

link 

Of Boners and cataloguing fish

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I have embarked upon a mission to catalog all of the fish on exhibit, including common names, scientific names, and Japanese names, along with interesting facts about these fish.

One thing I discovered while consulting "Probably More Than You Want To Know About The Fishes Of The Pacific Coast" by Milton Love (I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in the fish of the West coast of the U.S.) is that I have been mixing up the names of 2 similar, but different, fish.

Many people I have talked to have told me that "katsuo" is Japanese for "bonito", but this is wrong. The Pacific Bonito is "hagatsuo" in Japanese, while "katsuo" is actually a Skipjack Tuna, a species that only reaches about 40 inches in length.

Generally, Bonito, or "Boners" as some people like to call them, are not considered a delicious fish, but Love says that if you bleed them right away and keep them moist and cool they are good to eat.

Another interesting thing about Bonito, tuna, and other tuna-like fishes is that if you don't store them properly, they can develop scromboid poisoning which is caused by bacteria breaking down the flesh and creating histamines. The symptoms include "nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea..." (Love, p.315).

No treatment is listed, but I'm guessing that maybe you should treat this like food poisoning, maybe take an anti-histamine, and if things get bad enough, definitely seek professional help. Better yet, if the tuna smells funky, maybe you shouldn't eat it. If the can is bulging and releases a rancid gas when you pop the top, it's best to not eat that stuff. Scromboid, botulism, it doesn't matter- it's not worth risking your health!

This is a bit off of the topic, but my friend Matt asked if we have Albacore on exhibit. We do not, and it seems like they are not an easy fish to keep in captivity, so we probably won't be having any of those any time soon. Nor are there any Blue Sharks in the Outer Bay Exhibit.

Here's another weird tidbit. The Bluefins and Yellowfins are very, very hard to tell apart on exhibit. In Love's book, an easy way to tell these tuna apart is to look at the second dorsal fin. The Yellowfin's pectoral fin reaches the origin of the second dorsal fin, while the Bluefin's does not. Also, the Yellowfin's finlets are yellow, just as the name implies.

Yet, on exhibit, these two fish have morphed to such a degree that even the experts can't easily tell them apart. Whatever the case, the largest fish in this exhibit (estimated weight 600 lbs) are the Bluefin, which can get over 1000 lbs in the Pacific. Those fish are found closer to Japan, which is unfortunate for those of us in the States, and for the tuna. Irony is a b*tch sometimes...

White Shark Released

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After 137 days with Monterey Bay Aquarium, the juvenile male white shark was released this morning. I feel lucky to have been able to see this one up close for the past month and to learn so much about it.

Here are some interesting bits of information:

The male shark was originally caught by MBA's white shark experts, by line and hook, just off of the coast of Malibu, California.

It's age is estimated at just over a year old.

This white shark was 5-feet, 8-inches, and weighed 104 pounds when he was first put on exhibit. Upon his release he had grown to 6-feet, 5-inches long and weighed 171 lbs.

This is the second white shark ever successfully kept on exhibit anywhere in the world. By "successful", I mean that the shark was able to safely navigate the exhibit he was placed in (the Outer Bay Exhibit) and took food. Monterey Bay Aquarium has been the only aquarium so far to do these things.

The female white shark was with the aquarium for 198 days and reached 6-foot, 4-inches with a weight of 162 pounds. During her time on exhibit, she grew 1 foot, 4 inches in length, and put on 100 pounds!

The male shark was released just off of Point Pinos, and was tagged with a 90 day PAT tag.

This shark never attacked any of his exhibit mates, instead feeding on plenty of wild-caught salmon steaks which were personally delivered to him on the end of a pole (the salmon was tied to the pole with an easily digestible cotton string, in order to prevent the voracious tunas from nabbing it).

During his stay, the white shark generally cruised towards the top of the exhibit with his dorsal fin occasionally breaking the surface of the water.

Flashes from people taking pictures seemed to cause the white shark to spend less time towards the front of the glass, and more time in the back of the exhibit where he was a little harder to spot.

It was amazing to see how many people's perceptions of sharks as malevolent, murderous monster were changed by simply watching him calmly cruising around the exhibit.

"Why isn't he attacking the other fish?" is a question often heard in the Outer Bay Exhibit. When people find out that these creatures don't kill everything in the oceans, and in fact help to keep the wildlife populations healthy, they want to learn more and generally start to develop an interest much different from the morbid, sensationalized portrayals that they are used to seeing on TV and in the movies.

A lot of people seem truly surprised to learn that most white shark attacks on humans are accidental. A human with four limbs sticking off of a surfboard looks like the silhouette of a sea lion or a seal from below. Upon tasting human, most white sharks don't seem to come back to for seconds. It's kind of like biting into what you think is a caramel flavored chocolate, and finding out that it is in fact the chocolate covered fruit and nut loaf.

Isn't it cool that the aquarium keeps its animals' welfare first and foremost in mind, when considering whether or not to keep them on exhibit or to release them. From what I've seen at aquariums around the world, this is not always the case. 

Time for 24

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When I was in Japan last year, I looked forward to seeing a new episode of 24 each week. It was one of the highlights of the work week when I could discuss the show with my brother and a few like-minded friends.

I believed Justin posted this site last year, but I'm going to put up this link again:

http://jjafuller.com/mirror/bc/v3/index.php/season/show/6

It's about to start, time to go! 

Happy New Year!

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Killer and Monster wish you all a happy 2007!

Archeteuthis Videotaped!

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It looks as if the same team of Japanese researchers who took the first still pictures of the giant squid have now succeeded in capturing one on video, though it is still unreleased.

Read more about it here.

Barramundi reviewed

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Not too long ago, I read about the Barramundi in some fishing magazine. It's a fish native to Northern Australia that is not only puts up a good fight and is a good candidate for fish farming (unlike salmon, which is not only bland when farmed, but bad for the environment and wild salmon stocks) but it is also delicious.

In fact, it is number 36 on the BBC's 50 things to eat list. I got mine at the Portola Restaurant in Monterey Bay Aquarium. It was dusted with paprika, served on top of purple sweet potatos and fennel, topped with braised spinach, and garnished with a tamarind relish. The flesh was like that of sea bass, only richer.

Forget about talapia and catfish, barramundi is one sustainable option that I actually want to eat (and catch, if I ever get the chance).

Pachelbel

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How many songs can you think of that use the same chord progression as Canon in D (the Coolio song doesn't count because it straight out uses the piece, like Vanilla Ice took from David Bowie)?

Licking Liquid Hot Magma

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We have video of a fish sitting on the molten sulphur and then moving off after a couple of minutes, apparently unharmed.
link

I hope you like reading about fish, because I'm going to start posting more and more about topics dealing with the ocean and things that live in the ocean.

Freakier than thou

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Justin, I have one-upped the story that you linked to.

link

Goddess of Mercy

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On to Monterey

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With the support and encouragement of my family, I've moved to Monterey after accepting a position with the aquarium. Though I'd ideally like to live in Southern California, I can't complain about living up here- the possibilities for hiking, diving, fishing, and other activities are more plentiful than I could have hoped for. They even have jiu-jitsu up here!

One thing is for certain: I am glad that I didn't have to take any of the jobs that I was offered in Orange County. With the exception of teaching sailing, I wasn't having much luck finding a job that I wanted to do. All of the jobs that I was offered where I could use Japanese left much to be desired.

Instead of making a pitiful amount of money, spending a few hours a day stuck in L.A. traffic, and working insane hours for a Japanese corporation, I'm going to be doing something that I want to do for a living and during my leisure time. I realize that most people are not lucky enough to get to pick and choose what they want to do, and am very grateful for the opportunity.

Life just seems so unreal sometimes. As soon as I've ended one leg of my "career", another one starts in a different place. I still don't feel like the adventure that I embarked on when I left for college has really ended.

It's cool to see what you end up with if you are always on the move. It turns out, in my case, that I don't need a lot to be content- clothing, a camera, some books, music, computer stuff, sports equipment, assorted tools, and my camera can all be fit into a few suitcases, and are all that I need.

Posting might be light for a while, since I'm still in transition. While I'm getting started up here, I think I'll buy a new computer. What a great excuse to get something that I have really wanted, as I've been without my own computer since I left Osaka! Hmmmn... What to get?

Voltron B-boy Showdown

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I just started watching Robot Chicken, and I like it.

Disco Ass in the news

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Mark is referenced in the St. Louis Post in an article about the Hash House Harriers. My question: why did they omit the "ass" and keep the "Disco"? You can't have the Disco without the ass!

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You can handle the hose by yourself

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This sign reminds me of the opening to Happy Gilmore. I love the signs in Japan!

Talbert Marsh

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On Sunday, I went for a walk by the beach, where the Santa Ana River drains into the Pacific Ocean. I hesitate to call this place a delta, because this river, the victim of massive amounts of concrete and man's will to use every inch of real estate in So Cal, is severely channelized and is is really just a massive rain gutter. As I was walking by, this area really started to remind me of the Yodogawa.

The following pictures, on the top of the bodies of text, are those of the Talbert Marsh (Huntington Beach) area, and those on the bottom are of the Yodogawa (in Osaka).

Input/Output
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North of the river, the Talbert marsh is flanked by a sewage treatment (I'm guessing this because of the smell) or some sort of wastewater treatment facility.

The Yodogawa doesn't stink, but I wouldn't eat any fish I caught out of it, nor would I go swimming in that water. That being said, the residents of Osaka depend on the Yodogawa as a water supply. This is one place in Japan where water does not taste good straight from the tap.
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Life by the River
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There is a whole community living in improvised housing next to the Yodogawa, and the trailer park on the Newport/Huntington Beach border have a similar appearance. A key difference would be that the people living in Newport are paying (and I bet rent isn't really that cheap, relative to other trailer parks), but the community living across from the Osaka side of the Yodogawa are very resourceful homeless people.
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Waterfront Property
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Another thing that these two groups of people share is that they both live in an area with a fantastic view. These wetlands provide a home for people and for a great assortment of birds.
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Invisible People
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There are homeless in both places, but not so much in Newport Beach. In both cases, I found their makeshift houses under the bridge, and out of view of the public eye.
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Juxtaposition
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Concrete, asphalt, and rusted iron girders don't blend into their beautiful surroundings. These are the places that people explore and fewer have to depend on for shelter. It must get cold during the winter time, especially along the Yodogawa. Where do they go when it floods?
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Boundaries
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In this one block of Newport, the Pacific Coast Highway divides the wealthier from the trailer park. You can see that the people who live next to the beach have a glass wall that blocks the noise, while the trailer park has little to mitigate their situation (the top of low brick wall is at street level).

The Yodogawa is the border that separates the more upscale Umeda from the seedier Yodogawa-ku, across the river. I liked to spend time on both sides- Fireworks, house parties, and festivals were more fun on the Yodogawa-ku side, while Umeda offered more places to shop, eat, and go out with friends.
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Little Piggies

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Cat and Spanky are waiting to be fed, be it toes or avocados.

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Here's Spanky, pictured after eating half of an avocado. They also like guavas.

Half Life on your browser!

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I used to play video games regularly up until a few years back. For some reason, playing video games just stopped being something I wanted to do on a regular occasion, but if I need to get my Half Life fix without going through the hassle of installing it on my computer, I think I'll drop by this site: link

This cold deserves to die!

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I caught a cold that prevented me from eating a proper Thanksgiving for the 4th year in a row, and I plan on nuking it.

Today I kept warm, making sure to dress in layers and stay in blankets. I drank a few liters of tea with honey (an antibacterial substance used by ancient people to treat infections, and more recently gaining popularity in modern medicine), and soup with a metric buttload of garlic. I've been taking vitamin C with a bunch of other supplements, along with Cold-Eeze lozenges and Theraflu - Nighttime Severe Cold. Just to be safe, I'm going to bed early tonight. With any hope, I will have obliterated this bastard by tomorrow morning.

I don't care that Thanksgiving is past, I refuse to wait another full year to enjoy my own Thanksgiving. As soon as I'm well, I'm getting myself the turkey, yams, stuffing, cranberry sauce, gravy, pie, and other foods that I've been waiting so long to eat.

BTW, the Theraflu tastes rather unpleasant, so I will not be happy if I don't see results...

Update: It's still with me, but I am seeing immediate results with a secret weapon- pizza topped with crushed garlic.

I am topping each slice of pizza with at least one large clove of pressed garlic, and toasting it in the oven. It immediately cleared up my nasal passages, and has given me awesome breath! It has the added benefit of tasting really good (my brother and I discovered this almost unheard of topping on a trip back to Huntington Beach when we were searching for the best pizza a few years back).

Chicago to SoCal: the long way

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Equipment:
QX4
Assorted maps
Fishing poles and tackle
2 tents and assorted bedding
DC power converter
Generic LG mobile phone
Nikon D-50
2 SD memory cards
250 GB Buffalo external harddrive
Compaq Laptop
40 assorted music cds


This summer, I flew out to Chicago to meet my little sister and her boyfriend for a road trip back to Southern California. I was really excited to have an opportunity to explore such a large swath of my own country- it's crazy to think that in 3 years I have explored most of Japan, but at age 27, I still haven't managed to see many places in the United States.

I had no idea that I would experience culture shock on this trip. Maybe it caught me off guard, being a domestic trip where I feel familiar with the culture, language, food, etc... In retrospect, it's not surprising that things were different enough to make me feel like I was traveling abroad once you take the demographic differences into consideration, especially when you realize just how large America really is.

CHICAGO
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Ferris Buller's Day Off. The Blues Brothers. Common. Da Bulls. Pizza and sausages. These are the things that come to mind when I think about Chicago. It's funny, but these things, more or less, summarize my time in Chicago. Except I didn't get to see the Bulls. Or Common. Or Ferris Buller.

One of my favorite sketches from classic SNL is the Superfans, with Chris Farley, Mike Myers, and Joe Mantegna (with memorable apperances by John Goodman and Michael Jordan among others). The hot dogs and pizza are awesome, and it is a bit spooky to see how right on these sketches capture Chicago. "This", I thought, "is a place where I could easily become overweight, with the delicious food and weather that makes you stay inside and crank the AC or the heater to stay comfortable.".

I loved the deep dish pizza, sandwiches (from Potbelly Sandwich Works in particular), and hot dogs and sausages. It was strange being told that I was not supposed to put ketchup on the hot dogs though. I got no good answer for questioning why using ketchup was a faux pas- does anyone care to tell me why? People feel strongly, it seems, about tradition and their hot dogs in this city.

Riding the subway was a trip. We started from the Chinatown station, which had the strongest, most concentrated smell of urine I have ever experienced (which is saying a lot, because I used to live in Isla Vista when I attended UCSB).

On the ride into the city, it was interesting to see who got on and off. Getting closer to the city center, most of the black folks got off at once as the percentage of white people gradually started to increase. At one point, it was as if there was an invisible filter through which everyone except for white people had trouble passing through (this is not unique to Chicago by any means, its just more noticeable when you're riding on a train, which doesn't happen too often in So Cal).

I think we were the only Asians riding the train. It's strange to be in a place where you stick out like a sore thumb, yet speak a common language, share many aspects of our culture, and belong to the same nationality.

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Chicago was a beautiful city with lots of trees, forests of deciduous trees, and scattered lakes. I was glad that I got to visit at a time when the weather wasn't too miserable, and wouldn't mind checking it out again at some point in time.

The things I enjoyed the most about the Windy City was the food and the botanical gardens. If I return, I intend to check out the music scene, to attend some sports games, and to try to find the best hot dog and pizza places.

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After a week (or two) we finally hit the road in a QX4 that was stuffed to capacity with all of Merin's stuff and our traveling provisions. There was just enough room for 3 people to sit in.

MINNESOTA
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The first stop was Minnesota's own Mall of America. I was underwhelmed by this really big shopping mall, probably because I don't like hanging out at malls and because their aquarium was closed. I can't believe that this place is the vacation destination for some people. Then again, I can never understand why South Coast Plaza is so jam packed with people during the middle of the day. Shouldn't these people be working or going to school?

SOUTH DAKOTA
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The next stop was the Badlands National Park in South Dakota. Here, you can see the very bones of the Earth being slowly ground away by the wind and water, painstakingly formed into landscapes from another world. Prairie dogs, bison, coyotes, and other animals (that I remember killing for sustenance in The Oregon Trail) fit in perfectly among the vast grass plains and the giant sandcastle-like formations.

Sitting at home or in the office, it is easy to romanticize life in the great outdoors. Insects, the fickle elements of nature, wild swings in temperature, and unexpected encounters with agitated dangerous wild animals will purge one of these silly ideas pretty quickly. Luckily, these things were not a problem. I didn't appreciate being woken up by a very noisy corvid, but I'll take that over being attacked mosquitoes or bears any day.

The Badlands isn't only a great place to see the prairie, awesome geologic formations, and wildlife- it's also rich in fossils. Walking along a creek, we found fossilized shells and what I think was the leg bone of a bison four feet under the soil exposed by the creek. I get the feeling that many of the early paleontological discoveries were made by people taking a walk in an unfamiliar place without the intent of finding anything in particular, just like we did. Not that we found a T-Rex or anything like that.

The Badlands was so cool that I think it deserves a separate post all by itself.

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While in South Dakota, we also visited Mount Rushmore and americaroadtrip051.jpg the Crazy Horse Monument. After growing up and seeing them on TV and in the movies, and studying them in the classroom, it was kind of an underwhelming experience. It also sucks that they charge you to see these things up close. In my humble opinion, it cheapens the experience, and deterred us from visiting the site It was fun taking pictures of my finger picking the nose of George Washington from the side of the road, though.

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I didn't eat at Taco John's, a popular fast food restaurant in middle America, but I think I can safely say that is sucks. Call it "taco intuition", an ability developed over time by eating at too many disappointing restaurants that serve stuff that they call "Mexican food" and only once in a great while, finding some really good food. This place has liquid "nacho cheese" written all over it (Nacho cheese, while delicious, is neither Mexican nor is it food).

The only Mexican food that I ate on the trip was made of buffalo meat served on top of indian flatbread and topped with standard Tex-Mex condiments. This is one of the rare opportunities in which trying the regional ethnic food was even an option.

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Jewel Cave was also a pretty cool stop in South Dakota. At 136 miles long, it currently the second longest cave in the world (it's still being explored, and it might one day claim the #1 spot). The rock formations are stunningly beautiful, and I would love to come back and go cave exploring. Notice I use the term "cave exploring". I'd rather go cave exploring than spelunking any day. Spelunking just sounds so...

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Immediately after spelunking Jewel Cave, we checked out America's first national monument, Devil's Tower (also known as Bear's Lodge). This place was awesome. Indian princesses fleeing a great bear and climbing the rock into the heavens almost seems possible, looking at this massive column of basalt.

The reverence that American Indians have for this place reminds me of how aborigines feel about Uluru (or Ayer's rock, as the white man calls it), as do the problems that arise. There were some a-holes climbing this sacred site, even though there were signs posted by Native American groups asking people not to climb during what was a holy time for them. And people wonder why Americans have a bad reputation around the world for being disrespectful and rude. There is a very visible minority in our country that can't even treat each other with dignity, let alone people with different customs, beliefs, and languages. Sucks for the rest of us who enjoy living and traveling outside of our country.

WYOMING
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On the way to Yosemite, a waitress told us about a Thermopolis, home of the world's largest mineral hot springs. My arm was pretty scraped up- the results of an unsuccessful jump picture off of a small mesa in the Badlands. I will take any excuse to go to the onsen, and this one fit quite nicely.

Thermopolis turned out to be a land of extremes. The weather was so hot that I was the only one to go soak in the waters. I enjoyed this place, but it was decided to carry on to Yellowstone with haste.

YELLOWSTONE (located in Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho)
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Yellowstone was more magnificent than I had ever imagined. This was nature as I had never seen in America, and I didn't even have to fly or hike for days to get here. Geysers of all sorts put Beppu to shame. It was as if my memories of the diaramas of the Natural Museum of History, that I had seen as a kid, had come alive.

For someone disenchanted with life in the city or the vast expanses of our suburban sprawl, visiting this place can be as profound an experience as I imagine making a religious pilgrimage to others is. This is a place that I would like to live in for an extended period of time.

If you do go, please, don't be a jerk and stop your car in the middle of the street, set up your tripod, and take pictures while oblivious to the line of cars behind you. It would be better for everyone else if you stayed in your apartment and watched the Discovery channel.

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We fished a little bit along the way, with little success. While in the Grand Tetons, we saw a storm roll in over the mountains across from the lake. Just before the rain reached our shore, the trout went crazy, and were biting everything that we threw at them. When the rain reached us, the bite stopped for good. Ah, the mysteries of fishing...

IDAHO
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Potatoes are what come to mind when I hear the word "Idaho", but Idaho is much, much more than where we get our French fries and potato chips from. The land is beautiful beyond description, especially in those fleeting moments when the rain and sun fight for domination of the skies.

We drove through a land of lush green mountains, rivers, and fields, painted by light piercing the dark rain clouds. Above is only one of the many rainbows that we saw. This is one state that truly caught us off guard. I think that I'll have to find my way back up to Idaho one day.

From this point, we decided to just drive straight home and so there are no pictures of Utah, Nevada, or California. To sum up, I drove from dusk until dawn, sustained by a lot of caffeine and loud music. I do not recommend driving along the straight, long expanses of highway at night time, as it is tedious and becomes hypnotic unless you have someone to talk to. In the morning, when night sky started to hint of the next day coming, I found myself hallucinating, singing along to They Might Be Giants's album, Flood. We had reached California, and though exhausted, I spent the rest of the trip awake. It was a good finish to a good road trip.

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Road trips are awesome because you are constantly moving, trying new things, eating new food, and meeting new people. I feel as if my life kind of mirrors a road trip, as I have been able to do all of these things on a regular basis.

I think road trips should be a mandatory part of our educational system, especially trips to foreign countries overseas.

I don't think you can truly know what it is to be an American unless you spend some time out of your comfort zone, out of your culture, away from your family and friends. I don't think you can know what it is to be an American if you don't travel around the many different parts of America. How can you know what it is to be American, or any other nationality, unless you experience and explore other perspectives than the ones you are comfortable with? I don't think you can, and I know that I'm extremely fortunate to be able to have done these things.

Anyone up for a road trip?

Bolsa Chica Jump Pics

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Mark, Joy, Eric, and I took turns jumping off of things, giving the senior citizen bird watchers something to look at.

Authentic Japanese Cuisine

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Mark and I saw this upscale Asian-fusion restaurant on Sunset Blvd. when we went to go see the Cut Chemist on Thursday night. With the amount of Japanese people who visit this area, they must know that their sign really means.

1) Italian (and sometimes French): 'Cheers!' Derives from the sound of the glasses clinking together.

2) Japanese: Penis. Cause of much puzzlement when Italians travel to Japan, or when Japanese travel to Italy.

Italian guy: OK, here's to our time in Osaka. Chin chin!

Japanese guy: I beg your pardon?


(from the Urban Dictionary)

More Band of Brothers and Rome

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It looks like HBO is working on a version of Band of Brothers in the Pacific theater.
link

The second season of Rome will be coming out next year.

HBO has renewed its epic drama series ROME for a second season, it was announced today by Carolyn Strauss, president, HBO Entertainment. Production of the 12-episode second season will begin next March, with the debut set for 2007.

Here's a blog written by someone working on the series.

Courreges Park at dawn

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It's too bad that I hate waking up early. You can see some pretty interesting stuff is you get up early in the morning. My bed usually wins the decision when I ask myself "should I get up or not?".

I must say that I don't sleep in nearly as late as I used to. At this point in my life waking up late is like waking up really early when I was in college. I wonder what will happen in another 10 years...

Baby wholphin

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This is apparently what you get when you cross a whale and a dolphin. I'm a bit confused, though. If something can produce offspring that can produce offspring, isn't that the standard definition of a species (a category of biological classification ranking immediately below the genus or subgenus, comprising related organisms or populations potentially capable of interbreeding, and being designated by a binomial that consists of the name of a genus followed by a Latin or latinized uncapitalized noun or adjective agreeing grammatically with the genus name)? For example, donkeys and horses are not the same species because their offspring are sterile.

The same thing goes for ligers and tigons. It is hard to think of lions and tigers as being the same species, but doesn't their ability to produce offspring capable of reproduction make them just that?

Jurassic 5 live on KCRW

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I caught this set partway through, and noticed that the tracks sounded a little bit different. It turns out that J5 did a live in-studio session on NPR of all stations! This is worth a listen:

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Rocking the dinner table

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Beck is a genius!

Mutant dolphin

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Go check it out-
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KG looks like Ma Fratelli

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This is Bach and it rocks...

Haniwa: Curing and Firing

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In order to make sure that the haniwa (here is another interesting article about haniwa) were completely dry, they sat exposed to the air and sunlight for 2 weeks. Since the smaller haniwa dry more quickly, I was able to fire the octopus, robot, and a few other smaller pieces prior to the bigger pieces.

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This is the first group of haniwa. From right to left the group consists of a kabutomushi (rhinocerous beetle), a fugu (puffer fish), a bucket-headed sanshin player (made out of a gourd and bamboo stock), a ninja, a soldier with butterfly swords, a Taiko spirit, a Freeza-like spirit, and a Satsuma (not this Satsuma) samurai.

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The second group is made up of a DJ, my version of a Daruma totem (a dual skull on top of a stormtrooper on top of a ninja turtle wind god), a snowtrooper (based on the kind that raided Hoth at the beginning of The Empire Strikes Back), a two-headed warrior wielding a naginata, a bear, the squid Pope, and a ronin bearing a cane sword.

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I fired the first group last week, and unfortunately, a few of them cracked. The samurai lost a piece of his helmet, the Taiko spirit lost part of his back, and the Fugu was badly damaged. I was able to fix them all with some super glue and used Gorilla Glue to fill in places where the fugu was badly damaged.

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I just finished firing this group, and they all look like they survived the process intact. I guess it just took a little bit of time to refine my technique.

The clay I used was special in that it is made to be fired at 350 degrees for 1 hour, so I was able to do this in a household oven. I plan to make more as soon as I get more clay, but I need to find someone with a kiln so I can get those fired as well.

So far, the project is off to a good start.

Haniwa in Context

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In case you are interested in haniwa and kofun (Japanese burial mounds), these links might be of interest:
Sakai City's site
Charles Keally's Kofun Culture page
Kazumasa Ozawa's page about kofun
A page that shows what kofun look like from the air and ground
Abstracts from the Japanese Archaeological Association
A concise article about haniwa by the Cleveland Museum of Art

Congratulations to the Dempseys

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This picture has nothing to do with the news I just got from Chris, but it seemed appropriate somehow. I just learned that Sarah is pregnant, but I don't know when they will be expecting. I'll add more info to this post (or check the comments) as more news becomes available. Congratulations guys!

On a plane

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It feels weird to know that my brother is on a plane, and on his way, to a new life in Thailand. Over 10 years in Japan has molded him into an American who is very Japanese, so it will be interesting to see how he changes after being in Thailand for a while. Dude, best of luck!

On a side note, I think that your next car should be a turbo charged tuk-tuk.

Pasturized Vitamin D Radio

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It's hard for me to listen to the radio without constantly switching from station to station. It seems to me that there was a greater variety available on radio when I was younger, and now there's less space on the mainstream airwaves for anything other than pop, especially when it comes to hip-hop as this article points out.

Though there is new music coming out that I enjoy listening to, it is harder to find it. The pop has taken over like an invasive species- like the Kudzu vine has taken over the South, turning what used to be a space filled with diversity into a uniform plot of artificiality. MTV has only gotten worse about this over time, and when they do actually play videos, you can really see this. It seems like the formula of showing off material wealth and looking like a thug are enough to make you popular. But this stuff is just the same old noise, given new beats and repackaged.

Listening to radio today is like being forced to do your grocery shopping at a(n American) convenience store. No one can deny that the products it stocks appeals to the masses, and as much as I like things with nacho cheese and food that has an infinite shelf life, being limited to a diet of those things sucks. A diet of twinkies, skttles, and slim jims gets old fast.

Artists like the Roots, Binary Star, Talib Kweli, Common, Dead Prez, and Mos Def are seldom heard, and this is a shame. I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants to hear artists like these on the radio. When you have to listen to independent radio, college radio, and NPR to hear what anything other than the stuff that they rotate on the commercial stations, it is really frustruating.

I'd rather listen to nothing at all, rather than having to listen to songs like "Promiscuous Girl", or anything by 50, Ludacris, or Justin Timberlake(!?). I have nothing against this music, I just want to be able to choose to listen to something else without having to pop in a cassette or cd or boot up my computer.

Killer vs. the cats

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I took Killer out to play with Boo and Yoda today, and after playing with a guava, he charged Yoda.

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Yoda was a good sport. He played with Killer for a while, and just let the little puppy do whatever he wanted to.

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Boo was less tolerant. He played with Killer for a little bit, but when the puppy started to get hyper, Boo gave him the one-two-neko punch! Killer whimpered for a bit, but went right back to playing with Yoda.

Work in progress: Street Art

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Wow.

A letter from Iraq

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I find myself frustrated at how desensitized I've become towards the war in Iraq. The news is saturated with depressing stories day after day. Sometimes, I hear how many people have died in an explosion and think "That's not too bad.", and am sad at how these people have become numbers, as impersonal as the stock prices scrolling along the bottom of CNN.

I'm writing this post after reading this letter from Time.com. It's a good thing to personalize the war every once in a while, because it's way too easy to just tune out the noise all together.

Haniwa Project

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Over the past week, I've been thinking about making our front garden into a haniwa forest. I want to make hundreds of haniwa and find the right places for them so that they become part of the environment of our front yard.

The haniwa of the Kofun period were guardians of tombs and tumili, but mine will watch over the home and garden environment in which they are to dwell. Who knows what forms they will take? Certainly not me, as I found out.

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Today, I had an irresistible urge to sculpt haniwa. I opened up a package of clay, and slowly started to remember how to work in this medium. There is something very pleasant about working with clay- the earthy smell and cool, malleable properties of this stuff brings me a similar type of comfort that I get when I enjoy a hot cup of tea. They seem completely different, yet somehow they are linked in my mind.

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I'm half planning what I want to make, and half letting the clay decide. This octopus came to be after I started to make it.

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This robot haniwa was originally going to be a plain haniwa, but it clearly wanted to be a robot. That is the nature of haniwa. A spirit will take any form which it desires, as long as you let it. Hopefully they'll dry out without any cracks forming.

Kick Ass Photo

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Seal Beach Sunset

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May peace be upon you.

Melancholy Butterfly Puppies

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Why do people like to dress up their dogs? I think that some people truly consider their dogs to be human and feel the need to clothe them. Others enjoy dressing up their dogs in the same way that children enjoy dressing up their dolls and action figures. I generally don't like to dress up pets, but this was just too perfect- my older sister had a bunch of butterfly wings hanging around so I had to tie them onto the puppies.

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Have you ever seen such an unhappy butterfly puppy? If I dress him up any more, I think I'll give him issues, so I'm not going to make this a habit.

Killer's little sister doesn't like the wings much either, but she doesn't seem so depressed about the whole affair:

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Juvenile Great White

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Though still a juvenile, the great white shark at Monterey Bay Aquarium exudes the presence of an apex predator. Nothing in the tank was running away from it, but they weren't coming near it either. Right now it's only 5 feet 8 inches, but I still would not want to fall into that tank...

Danger?

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This sign in front of Morro Rock (in California) makes me wonder, "Why do they want to keep us out?".

A big post about my road trip with my little sister looms in the not-so-distant future, but in the meantime here's a small taste of our journey:

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We were walking through Yellowstone on one fine afternoon, admiring geysers like the one pictured above. Little did we imagine that one of our group would be taken down in a most unexpected incident in front of Vent Geyser.

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Extensive wooden walkways have been installed all around in order to minimize the impact that the park welcomes each year, as well as to keep people safe from the hazards of walking off of the known path. Once in a while, someone will wander off path and fall through the earth into super-heated water, resulting in burns or even death. It's refreshing not to be over-protected from things that can hurt you but won't unless you do something stupid. In a country where too many things are ruined for us all because some dumbass does something to ruin it for us all, it is nice to be able to go somewhere where you are given responsibility for your own safety.

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Merin is pointing and laughing at Chris, a fellow med school student at Rosalind Franklin University, after he got his ass kicked by a park bench. As he was walking along the edge of the trail, he failed to notice the bench in front of him and hit it with such force with one shin that he tripped and smacked his other shin into the bench seat before falling forward onto the bench. It looked and sounded painful, but no sympathy was forthcoming.

"It really hurts!", whined the pre-med.

"Hahahahahaha!", we replied. From that point on his responses, no matter what he said, elicited nothing but laughter. It still makes me laugh just thinking about it. He's not quite ready for the responsibilities that come with walking around shin high obstacles.

I live to take pictures so that I can remember moments like these. Yes, be proud America, for he is among the students destined to blaze the path of the future of medicine!

Crazy Baby Bunnies

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This entry marks the beginning of a series on a road trip that I took with my little sister and her boyfriend a few months ago:

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The rabbits have been out in great numbers everywhere. They don't seem to need much to proliferate. I've seen them in the grass, chaparral, and riparian habitats.

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Young bunnies seem to be less spooky than the adults. This one liked to get really close, and then started spazzing out, running this way and that. I think I saw them do the same thing to coyotes on the Discovery Channel. I don't remember why they do this, butt it reminds me of the behaviour of young humans.

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If you like bunny rabbits, you might check out Daniel Chong's short story.

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I tried stewed rabbit in France, and remember it being a mild, succulent meat. Trying rabbit was one of the first times that I tried something not usually eaten in America, and this experience set me on the path to eating animals, parts of animals, and other things that I would have never been able to try had I stuck to the McDonalds diet when visiting foreign lands. I'll take stewed rabbit over a Big Mac any day!

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Doesn't he look cute/delicious? Mmmmm. Stewed rabbit.

Ricky Bobby gets Fast and Furious

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Mopar sponsored an event that made for a strange gathering of people who either came to see their favorite NASCAR driver try and their hand at drifting, or to see some of the best drifters from Japan's D-1 circuit. I tried taking pictures of the event, but my lens was way too slow and I was too far away from the action. Though the pictures are way too blurry, the event was too interesting not to post them.

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The Japanese drivers were, of course the highlight of the night. Unfortunately, we arrived a little late at the Irwindale track and missed most of their performance.
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Seeing these guys race brought back memories of over 7 years ago, when I first saw cars like these tearing through the giant intertwined maze of bridges and streets in Yokohama. Back then, I had no idea what drifing was, and was amazed to see these cars evade the police with such grace and ease, and then returning shortly after the cops left to continue racing.
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One NASCAR driver demonstrated how hard it is to drift in a NASCAR racer. I have to admit, it was pretty funny.

The NASCAR fans went wild watching their favorite drivers attempt to drift, but I quickly became bored of watching them.They didn't practice beforehand like they were supposed to, so we were watching them learn how to drift. Thankfully, the Japanese guys came back on the track for an unscheduled finale.

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Bigfoot also had a go at drifting. Watching that huge truck lunge from side to side was entertaining, but this is not the Bigfoot that I remember from the old days. The old solid blue design was much better! Now the sponsor's name is written in larger print than the name of this iconic monster truck.

There were many strange things about this event: First of all it was sponsored by Mopar. It was also weird to see absolutely no Autobacs signs.

This was my first time actually being around NASCAR fans, and likely my last. I've never seen so many mullets in one place at one time! Nothing against NASCAR or the people who like this variety of racing, it's just not my scene. I'll take rally racing any day over doing donuts or drag racing.

I think the lesson from this event is to avoid Mopar sponsored drifting events, and stick to ones that are sponsored by Autobacs.

Killer wakes up

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Killer is the first puppy of the litter to open his eyes.
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Pretty soon he'll be able to walk about instead of just inch around like a caterpillar.
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He's just eaten, so he wants to go back to sleep.
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Ramen Industrial Alliance of Asia

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Over at Wired, Jennifer Granick makes an interesting comparison between the music industry and ramen:


People play guitar in all sorts of styles, riffing on notes the way the Japanese riff on the basic concept of Chinese noodles in soup. What if the original ramen chefs tried to stop others from developing their own ramen recipes and making differently flavored ramen broth?

They'd form an association -- say, the Ramen Industrial Alliance of Asia, or RIAA -- and announce a clampdown on the proliferation of infringing noodle shops. Their arguments would echo the music industry's. "The chefs who created ramen deserve to get paid for their creation," they'd say. "These noodle shops are taking profits away from the creators, while peddling an often-inferior product to an unsuspecting public that believes they are getting real ramen."

Just as the music industry claims that tab sites are publishing "derivative works" related to the original musical compositions, the ramen industry lawyers would argue that ramen varieties are derivations of the original product. Kyushu's tonkatsu (pork) ramen, Sapporo's miso ramen or Hakodate's shio (salt) ramen divert customers and take ramen sales away from the original chefs.


(link)


In a world of Maruchan, Nissin, and other instant crap, it's nice to know that somewhere, pig bones are slowly simmering over a low flame, releasing collagen and combining with the other ingredients to make a rich, delicious broth. Long live tonkotsu (and tonkatsu, but not in ramen)!

Zebra Ghillie Suits

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The cow patterned puppies will blend in well with a zebra pattern.
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Their pattern against the zebra stripes reminds me of the dazzle camouflage used in WWII.
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This one doesn't quite blend in as well as the other puppies.

Hit puree!

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Young "Chunk" reenacts a dramatic scene from "The Goonies".

i-puppy

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She fell asleep right on the keyboard. More shameless puppyblogging to come...
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Opening Bolsa Chica

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Up until a few days ago, much of Bolsa Chica was closed off to the public, so when I heard that they had opened it up I went to go check it out. The water under the bridge is murkier because the water is now able to get into and out of the estuary a bit easier, now that they have widened the opening to the ocean. You can already see a difference.

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We saw about 6 stingrays in different places, all within a 30 minute span. This one seems to be missing his tail.

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Something was scaring all of the smelt, and we couldn't quite make it out. Whatever it was, it was just shy of 2 feet long.

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Upon careful inspection, it turns out to be a white sea bass! I have never seen these in Bolsa Chica before. And there were a bunch of them munching on the the smelt!

A few days ago, a school of bonita came up next to the docks in Newport and attacked the smelt as I was teaching a class. The frenzy only lasted 10 seconds, and when it was finished, there were a bunch of baitfish flopping around on the dock. This was exactly how it was in Catalina last weekend, except I have never seen this happen in front of the Sea Base or Sailing Center in the 10 years that I've been around this area.

I'm taking these unusual sightings as a good omen for the fisheries along the coast. It looks like things are starting to recover. It's about time.

Pictures from the road

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All of these pictures were taken from the road as we traveled around Kyushu. Though the destinations were all great, getting there was half of the fun. These are some of the passing moments that we witnessed on our road trip, complete with commentary.

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A old horse in Yufuin pulls an endless procession of tourists around town. This is some tired basashi.

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The JSDF and other Jeep enthusiasts regularly drive their vehicles in the mountains of Kumamoto and Oita. In these areas, you can really put an ORV to the test.

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The "Mika" sits in front of a massive ship on the coast of Oita.

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Japanese construction workers dress like the Beastie Boys in their video for "Intergalactic". Or maybe it's the other way around.

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Many of the bridges have fish on them. This one looks like a sardine.

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"Kick his ass, Sea Bass.". At least, I think this one is a sea bass.

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If my little sister or younger cousins owned a storage container, they would probably do something like this to it.

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Work is constantly being done on the two lane highways, and they use timed stoplights to direct traffic through parts where one lane is closed off. This is a good idea, except when you get stuck at one of these and have to wait a few minutes to proceed, even if there is no one else on the road. Sometimes people get impatient and go on a red. If you have the green, this can be a problem.

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We barely made it across this narrow bridge. It was only just wide enough to accommodate our car.

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Three motorcycle cops bust this guy on the stretch of expressway leading into the SeaGaia resort in Miyazaki. If you are traveling down this road, watch your speed. There are a bunch of speed traps, and an abundance of police officers riding bikes.

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Driving through Miyazaki reminds me of home, with the beautiful beaches lined with tall palm trees.

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Swans guard the coastline of a volcanic lake in the countryside of Miyazaki.

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This would be a great bridge to take pictures of an old RX-7, hachiroku, or NSX. Having none of these handy, the Familia has to make do.

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This antique pump is still in use. Sometimes, a word or simple phrase in Japanese is so much easier to convey one's sentiments than in English. In this case, that would be "monomochigaii".

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Sometimes tunnels will focus the signal given off from radar guns positioned just outside of tunnels. Often times, speed traps are set just outside of the tunnels and around a bend, so it is wise to watch your speed when you come out.

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Tonkatsu? Shabu shabu? Yakiniku? These are the questions that go through my mind as we pass a truck carrying some pigs.

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I love these animatronic dummies that pose as construction workers and cops. Often I have had the impulse to take one home for my living room, but have always exercised self-control.

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Whenever I drive by a truck carrying petroleum products, I imagine what would happen if it got hit by a car, a carefully placed bullet, or a missile, and how much it would suck to be in close proximity to it if this happened.

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Here's a picture of my former residence that I took while driving through Ubuyama. It still looks the same.
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A fire k-car. There are smaller fire vehicles, but this one is pretty compact. These firefighters were taking a break on Daikanbo, eating soft serve and enjoying the sweeping view of the caldera.

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I think it's kind of cool that this motorcycle group has boy's day decorations on their bikes. Friendly bikers are so much more pleasant than scary ones. Only in Aso...

Torii of Kyushu

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This torii is built on the banks of the lake in the tourist town of Yufuin, Oita-ken.

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This one and the next torii are in the small coastal city of Usuki, on the same grounds that house the magaibutsu.

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The forests of bamboo and deciduous trees filters the light into intense beams that pierce the thick shadows. I can't describe it well, but these places evoke similar feelings that I felt when I visited the aincent churches in Toledo, Spain.

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The shrine at Udo Jingu resides inside of a cave on the Miyazaki coastline. I recommend going just before it closes. There are fewer people at this time, which is always a nice thing. I got goosebumps walking through the cave and looking at the ancient shrine with the auto focus light on my camera.

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This one is also on the grounds of Udo Jingu, on the way up a forgotten stairway to some ruins on the top of a hill.

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A lava floe forced the residents of Sakura-jima, in Kagoshima-ken, to flee for their lives. Days before, the water started to bubble, and dead fish floated to the shores of the volcanic island. Those wise enough to heed the warning escaped. This torii stands next to an elementary school on the island, mostly buried in magma that has frozen into volcanic rock.

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This torii stands in front of a shrine on the entrance to Iso Teien.

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Tucked away in the gardens of Iso Teien, on the outskirts of Kagoshima city, is this Torii that serves as the entrance to the tombs of members of the Shimadzu clan.

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A strangely pruned tree sits in front of a shrine in Kagoshima. I think it's supposed to be a bird.

Paying Respects to Musashi

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The body of Miyamoto Musashi, the greatest swordsman of all times, rests just outside of Kumamoto city in a peaceful park in the town of Musashigaoka. It is a nice place to enjoy the momiji in the fall, and the sakura in the spring. Surprisingly, not too many people visit the park. It's kind of sad, but most people know Musashi, not from reading "The Book of 5 Rings" or the book by Yoshikawa Eiji, but from the NHK television series or from the "Vagabond" manga.

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I look at the words of Henry Cisneros, a former mayor of San Antonio, and am sad that he didn't do his research or bother to write a better tribut to Musashi. Words that would almost guarantee anyone else an F on an elementary book report are cast into bronze for all to cringe at.

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How do you take down a whole school of swordsmen bent on killing you to protect their honor? With a katana in one hand and a wakizashi in the other. This is when it helps to be ambidextrous.

Here is Musashi demonstrating several positions where he holds 2 swords. Before Musashi, Japanese swordsmen pretty much only used 1 sword at a time to fight with. Fast forward to present day swordsmanship and the arts of kendo and iaido. No one uses 2 swords! Oh well. Kendo is kind of disappointing to me anyways, as are the other martial arts that have been made into sports.

It is interesting to note that Miyamoto Musashi prefered to use a wooden swords in his bouts. According to some accounts he defeated Sasaki Kojiro, a prodigy of the nodachi (a long two handed sword), by carving a sword out of an oar that he found in the boat that he rode to the site of their duel.

Fishing Catalina

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We departed from Huntington Harbor at 1A.M., bound for Catalina Island. The plan was to look for kelp paddies along the way, to go after the mahi mahi that had come up from Mexico along with the warmer waters, but we had just missed the bite by a week. Though we didn't bag any dorado or yellowtail, the trip was still a lot of fun, and we limited out on bonita.


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After catching some calico bass just before sunrise, we decide to go look for kelp paddies off of the coast of Catalina. We reel in, anchor up, and head out.

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Kelp paddies are hard to find, so every extra pair of eyes helps. We're also scanning for boils on the surface, whales, and flocks of sea birds that might indicate where the fish might be.

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We spot some small whales and dolphins breaching the surface, but they're loosely grouped together. It doesn't look like there are any fish with them so we part ways.

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We toss in a net full of bait and get our lines in the water next to a paddy in hopes of raising some big fish. Nothing is biting, so we return to the island.

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Matt hooks into what he thinks is a tail...

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...but ends up being a baby calico. Our bait is bigger than this fish!

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Our sardines are too big for the perch and blue bass to swallow, but they like the frozen squid. So do the calicos.

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We bag a sheepshead...

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...and then all hell breaks loose. Boils appear all around us in every direction. Several large schools of bonita and barracuda swarm up and down the coast, attacking the balls of bait fish. The small anchovies breach the surface in an attempt to flee the ravenous predators. The carnage is an awesome sight to behold, and I am too busy to take a picture. If you have a line in the water, is is almost impossible not to get a fish on your hook! This is the very definition of "wide-open".

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Bonita flop all over the deck, as we pull in fish after fish. The deck becomes a sticky mess of oily, dark blood. The fish stop going after our big sardines, so we switch to iron. Krocodiles and blue and white UFOs are like magnets to the bonita.

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A seal is drawn to the commotion, and tries to get our fish as we pull them in. It's a race to keep our fish away from this persistent pest. Luckily, we're able to reel them in fast enough to land them intact.

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We quickly fill up a sixty gallon cooler with fish, and then top off a separate 40 gallon chest. The boat looks like the scene of a crime, with blood spattered everywhere. We rinse the deck down every few minutes, but new fish just spurt more and more blood everywhere. We limit out on bonita, and decide to start heading home just before 4 in the afternoon.

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On the way back, Alex clears what ends up as well over 50 pounds of fillets, and the trail of carcasses attracts a flock of seagulls. One of them goes after a cedar plug that we're trolling. Luckily, we're able to get it off the hook relatively unharmed and it flies away.

We come into port just after sunset, clean the boat and our equipment, and head home after a great day of fishing at Catalina.

Puppy blogging

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I'm not one to regularly write posts about my pets, but I'll make an exception because our shih tzus just had puppies. The ultrasound predicted 5 of the little guys, but we ended up with 5 females and 2 males.

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Here's little "Killer" being born. He is clearly the most vocal of the group.

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Molly is exhausted after giving birth to 7 little puppies.

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Jack, the father, is freaked out by his little squeaking kids. He maintains a good distance away from Molly and his new family, and paces around nervously.

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The pups literally fit in the palm of your hands, with room to spare. About the perfect size for a water balloon toss or juggling.

More puppy blogging to follow...

Impossible Fish Tank

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I don't know how this fish tank works exactly, but from what I could understand, the tank on top that joins the adjacent tanks works as a vacuum. The result is that there are feeding holes in the side of the tank, and the water does not flow out. I could not wrap my mind around this technology, but it works.
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The fish were swimming between the side tanks over the tunnel. The smarter fish would swim across to the side where we were giving them shrimp.
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As you can see, the water stays within the half bowls that are affixed to the side of the tank.
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You would think that the water would come gushing out, but it doesn't. In the words of Arthur C. Clarke, "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from Magic.". Yup.
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These are all fish that you can find off of the coast of Oita.
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This guy got a little carried away and jumped out of the tank. He was delicious!
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A brightly colored wrasse goes after some krill and misses. Not the most coordinated fish in the tank...
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This rockfish was by far the most tenacious fish in the tank. He boxed out all of the other fish, until he had his fill.
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The squirrel fish was a bit harder to lure out.
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A trigger fish takes his time, and grazes on a shrimp buffet.
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This is my favorite picture of the lot. Puffers, box fish, and cowfish all make me happy for some reason. They're such goofy fish, and tough to boot.

Yufuin Taco Truck

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Mexican food is not very popular in Japan, so I was surprised to find a taco truck (a broken down k-jidosha) while walking around the quaint town of Yufuin, Oita.
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My father orders a taco from the old lady, and finds out that she learned how to make tacos in Mexico. Tacos don't get much more ethnic than that...
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There is no carne asada, carnitas, biria, lingua, or chile relleno here. The vendor takes out a block of homemade roast beef, and puts a few slices on the grill
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We are offered the choice between a white or "brown" tortilla. We go for the brown. The tortilla, much to our delight, is obviously hand made out of whole wheat. A good tortilla is hard to get and can easily cost ten times as much as the going rate in the States(unless you shop at Costco). This is also put on the charcoal grill.
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The taco consists of a tortilla, roast beef, onions, tomatoes, cabbage, cucumber, and hot sauce. Irrational as it sounds, I am relieved that there is no fish sausage in the taco. Could that be a surprisingly good combination? No. I don't think so.
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The taco is small, but it is a harbinger of food to come. It's as if I was destined to eat good Mexican food.
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My father enjoys his taco, but reflects that a nice large horchata would be nice. Horchata would probably go over well in Japan. After all, it is made of rice.

Mambou portraits

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The Oita Marine Center catches a bunch of oceanic sunfish every year, and puts them into their salt water pool. Visitors are encouraged to feed the mambou, but it is best done from a distance. You have to be careful when you feed them, because their razor sharp teeth can easily chomp off a finger or two.
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No, not really, but it sounds cooler when you make things sound dangerous! You can safely touch these guys without fear of harm. They actually kind of gum their food to death, like the elderly without their dentures. They mostly eat jellyfish and other easy to catch food.

School of Hard Knocks

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The year before I taught at Engei High School, the previous English teacher had only made it a few months into her contract. From what I heard, she tried to discipline the students and lost. It all culminated on one day when the students acted up to such an extent that they made her cry and run out of the classroom. She left school and was in New Zealand before she knew it.

I started school, and the teachers were watching me, wondering how long I would last. This wasn't paranoid delusion, they actually told me that they didn't think I had the fortitude to be able to put up with the situation for more than half of a year. These teachers were lifers, who had seen many before me come and go, as they were doomed to repeat the process over and over again. Their light at the end of the tunnel was retirement, and they weren't going to waste any energy on the latest English teacher.

I was able to make it through a year and completed my contract. I had to use every resource and every ounce of my will in order to create a feasable curriculum without the help of any of the teachers. The disrespect in the classroom coupled with an almost complete absence of motivation on the parts of the students and teachers alike made work a formidable challenge, to say the least. It was cool being able to help out the students who wanted to learn English or about foreign culture, but by the end of the year I was burnt out.

I just received this letter from a colleague still working at the high school:

Dear Adam,

Thanks for the recomendation letter. I appreciate it. I hope you are
doing well. By the way, you might be interested to know that the ALT who
replaced you quit 3 weeks into the school year and we still don't have a
new one. Nice, huh? Can you come back?? ha ha ha! ^0^

Sorry, I wouldn't come back even if they gave me a raise. Life is too short!

Reform in education, especially for the English programs at all levels of education, is sorely needed. There are people that can get the job done, but there is little interest from the higher levels to retain us. If the Japanese educational system will only pay for gaijin clowns in the classroom, then that is what they will ultimately end up with.

8 Day Tour of Kyushu

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Right before I moved back to Southern California, my father and I embarked upon an eight day road trip, touring our way through the Southern Japanese island of Kyushu at breakneck speed. Each day, we traveled through an average of exactly 2 prefectures.

It is impossible to enjoy more than a fraction of what Kyushu has to offer in such a short time, but with a lot of thought, flexible planning, and a desire to explore as much as possible, we visited six out of eight prefectures and covered a good chunk of the perimeter of the island. The only prefectures that we were unable to visit were Nagasaki and Okinawa. In order to visit everywhere I wanted to go and do everything I wanted to do, we would have needed at least a month! Keep in mind that much of the distance traveled was on windy, ill-maintained country roads. Add to this an average speed limit of 50 kph, which many country drivers prefer to drive under, and it takes a lot longer to get from point A to point B.

Here is a rough outline of our journey:


Equipment:
Mazda Familia
Assorted Omiyage (spices, chocolate, beef jerkey, and assorted snacks)
Super Cat Radar detector
Kyushu Super Mapple
Extra-large map of Kyushu
Docomo D251
Nikon D-50
2 SD memory cards
250 GB Buffalo External Harddrive
Canon Wordtank G50
40 assorted music cds and Blink (by Malcolm Gladwell) on tape
Hohner harmonica


Day 1- Osaka to Kumamoto
My father and I depart from Itami, arrive in Kumamoto, and pick up our rental car, a Mazda Familia. We wanted an RX-8, but it cost about $200 per day.

After driving into downtown Kumamoto, we had lunch at the tantanmen restaraunt on the 7th floor of Tsuruya.After this, we dropped by Kumamoto castle and enjoyed the blizzard of falling sakura petals.
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We meet up with some friends, and visit the Kumamoto Traditional Arts and Crafts Center (definitely worth a visit), watching local artisans make cutlery and make gold and silver jewelry in the local style.

After this, we eat ramen at Ajisen, and I go out drinking with Luke, his new girlfriend, Jin, and Joe. My father goes separate ways with a cousin, and they sample basahi with the local varieties of shochu.

We stop by The (now closed) Sharp and drank at Jeff's World Bar, the new Sanctuary (it's too bright and clean now), Cowboy (did 2 hours of nomihodai), and various places along the Kamitori and Shimatori.

I finally stumble in at 4 am to the Green Hotel after going to 2 other Green Hotels and being told that I was at the wrong place! That's what 2 consecutive rounds at a nomihodai joint will do to one's cognitive abilities, I guess.

Day 2- Kumamoto to Saga
I wake up with a hangover and quickly depart for Saga to visit relatives and friends.
On the way, we decide to visit Miyamoto Musashi's Grave in Musashigaoka en route to the expressway.
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My father gets directions to our relatives' church, which turn out to be bad, On top of this, a typhoon starts to roll in. We overshoot our destination, and find out that we can not go past the Saga Airport, as the directions tell us to, because to do so would mean driving into the ocean.

Getting directions to Higashimatsura, from an old man who speaks with a strong Saga dialect, tests my comprehensional abilities of Saga-ben. According to the old man, it would take another 2-3 hours of driving to get to the city of Higashimatsura. Something is obviously wrong.

We give up and call our relatives, and finally find out that HIgashimatsura is the name of the church (which moved to its present location from the city with which it shares its name) is in Saga city, only 45 minutes away. They quickly come and retrieve us from the airport.

Our cousin takes us out to eat the famous beef from Saga. It is among the best beef I have ever had in Japan, which is to say, the best beef I have ever had. A cold mug of Malt's beer and a stomach full of wagyu eases my hangover.

We spend time going over family history, and find out just how hard our relatives had to work to get educated and earn money to save up for bringing the family over to America. Everyone had to work in order to send one child to school. Public education was non existant in those days, and education was not taken for granted. How much things have changed...

My father spends the night with our relatives, and I take the train to Tosu and stay over at the Tanaka's house. I finally get to meet Sachika-chan, Ko-chan and Kaori's baby, and take too many pictures of her.
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We eat a homemade dinner of tonkatsu, miso soup, and daikon salad. Later we drink beer and reminisce about teaching and life in Ubuyama-mura.
I transfer the pictures of 2 SD cards onto my harddrive before passing out.

Day 3- Saga to Oita
The typhoon rages during the morning and I wait it out with Kaori and Sachika-chan. We buy breakfast from the panya in front of the Tosu eki and eat in their Subaru Forester. My father is 2 hours late showing up to the rendevous point. We depart, planning on stopping in Usa and a few other places on the way to the Oita Marine Center. We stop at Yufuin on the way, and find what is probably the only taco truck in all of Japan.
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The weather starts to clear up as we continue to Usuki to visit the aincent stone Buddhas (an awesome sight) and eat some cheap and delicious bento and onigiri from A-Coop on the steps of the castle ruins.
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The road to Usa is obliterated and impassable, so we regrettably don't get to see the largest collection of haniwa and head onto the Marine Center. Along the way, we drive through some great mountain roads along the coastline. They test my father's driving abilities, and there are a few hair-raising moments and appropriate expletives exchanged as a result. We climb an observation tower in the middle of nowhere and admire the view. The coastline is unspoilt by seawalls of tetrapods, a rare sight in this country.
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As night sets, we check into our room at the Marine Center, and head to Usagi Tei, the local izakaya. The food is exceptionally good. My father especially enjoys the peanut tofu (he hates the boiled peanuts of which this tofu is made, but the alchemists in the kitchen have turned it into a culinary delight), and I enjoy the locally-caught yellowtail sashimi which is among the best I have ever eaten. This is, I reflect, the last sashimi of this quality that I will be eating for quite a while.

After another full day, we enjoy sleeping in a private room, in an almost deserted minshoku. We timed this one just right.

Day 4- Oita to Miyazaki
We eat a breakfast of salted fish, rice, nori, and an egg and bacon that we cook atop a sterno-heated ceramic pan, and spend the whole morning checking out the Marine Center/minshoku. We play with friendly sea turtles and oceanic sunfish, hand feed tropical fish in a seemingly impossible fish tank, and stroll around the sleepy fishing village.
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We hit the road, and head south for Miyazaki city. Lunch is ramen at Gofu. I take many pictures along the way. Unfortunately, the weather turns bad, and we don't get to enjoy the famous beaches of Miyazaki.

The price of admission into SeaGaia, the famous indoor beach next to the beach, is prohibatively expensive, and we arrive when it is just closing.
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Instead we visit Udo Jingu, a shrine inside of a cave on the Miyazaki Coastline, and throw little tablets into a hole atop a turtle-shaped rock for good luck.
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There is no sunset today, but the transition from day to night is beautiful, regardless.

We have dinner at a local izakaya with Tsuji, a friend who I hadn't seen since high school. The jidori sashimi (raw chicken) is exceptional, and the liver turns out to be the highlight of the meal. We end the meal at a melon-panya outside of the izakaya and part ways.

My SD cards are full again, so I stop at a Cybac, pull the gaijin card, and avoid paying membership fees. It takes 20 minutes to transfer all of the files to my harddrive. It's nice to have enough space to store all of the pictures that I have taken.

We stay at cottage Himuka, and regret that we are not able to use all 4 beds. This place would be good for a larger group vacation to Miyazaki. Maybe nextime...

Day 5- Miyazaki to Kagoshima
Breakfast at Himuka is unspectacular, a Japanese-continental spread. The bacon is limp, the sausage lacking in flavor and texture, and the eggs are over-cooked. Cereal, salad, and fresh fruit take up the slack, but we are itching to get on the road. A gaijin dad and Japanese mom scold their children in the next table over. Poor kids. The father looks like a proto-expat who has clearly overstayed his time in this country.

We hit the expressway from Miyazaki to Miyakonojo. Here we stop by a waterfall, and take a hike in the rain.
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It is refreshing, and a welcome break in between.

On the way to the ferry, we get lost in the woods and ask some locals working at a small lumber mill for directions. They speak in a deep Kagoshima-ben (one of the hardest to understand dialects in Japan) and draw a map on a crosscut section of cedar. The directions, unlike their dialect, are very easy to understand and get us back on track.

We arrive at Sakura-jima, the famous volcano that sits across the bay from the city of Kagoshima, and explore the desolate landscape.
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Due to continuing vocanic activity, we are unable to proceed up the volcano.The roads have been torn in two from fissures in the earth and eroded/covered by lahar after lahar.

We take the ferry from Sakurajima to Kagoshima city,
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and I have a decent bowl of udon and enjoy the view. We see bullet holes in the castle walls as we drive through the city to, Iso Teien, our next stop.These spectacular gardens were built by the powerful Shimadzu clan of Kagoshima. We spend the better part of the day enjoying the museums and hiking around the massive grounds, until it almost closes.
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Towards the end of the day, the sun finally peeks out through the rain clouds, and gives us a clear view of Sakurajima.
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We visit the cave where Takamori Saigo hid after his defeat, and reflect on how bad of a movie "The Last Samurai" was for making Tom Cruise the protagonist. Saigo was clearly the man.

We drive up to the nearby mountains and enjoy the view of the city while eating some top-rate eclairs from the Castle Hotel. krt102.JPG
The hotel maintains beautiful gardens, and has a small museum inside. Their workers are mostly young and attractive women. If you have a lot of money to burn, this is definitely the place to stay.
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Next, we stop by the site where Saigo commited seppuku and pay our respects. After his suicide, a trusted liutenant took Saigo's head and buried it in a secret location, to uphold Saigo's honor and deny the enemy the trophy which they so greatly desired. To this day, no one knows where Saigo's head is hidden. I bet it's inside the caldera of Sakurajima.

We eat dinner at a local izakaya. The seafood, though limited, is pretty good, but no one dish stands out as exceptional. Since we have a drive ahead of us, we refrain from drinking. It feels weird not to drink in an izakaya, especially when you're on vacation.

It takes about an hour to get to Satsuma no Sato, our secluded ryokan in the mountains of Kagoshima.
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To our surprise, our names are written in the Roman alphabet on the genkan board and one of the hostesses speaks really good English. It turns out that she was born and raised in Seattle, and moved back to Kagoshima a long time ago.

This ryokan had the honor of hosting one of the Emperors. It is exactly what I picture an old school ryokan to be, complete with a Japanese garden, a full set of samurai armor, and Japanese art skillfully displayed to complement the summer season. We enjoy a piping hot radon onsen, and then have a well deserved beer before hitting the sack.

Day 6- Kagoshima to Kumamoto
There's nothing like starting your day off in an onsen, and this proved to be no exception. After meditating, my father is ready to get on with the day.
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We depart from Satsuma no Sato refreshed after a good night's sleep.

On the way, we stumble upon a lake inside of an extinct volcano. The town next to the lake obviously has a thing for dragons. The largest waterwheel in the world had a dragon on it, as does one of the bridges, among other things designed to lure in tourists.
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Next, we jumped on the expressway to Kumamoto to the 57 and rode the Milk Road back to Ubuyama-mura. I finally get to take a picture of a sign that I never got around to taking while I was living there.
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I visit all of the old schools that I used to teach at, and am happy to see all of the children again. They are so much bigger than I remember, and I enjoyed talking with former co-workers and students. Life has remained unchanged up here in my little mountain village.

We eat a lunch of yakiniku at Yama no Sato, where they have several types of tsukemono.
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Unfortunately, the akaushi was not as good as it used to be. Cooking the beef atop a piece of volcanic rock is pretty cool, though.

We visit the springs at Ikeyama and Yamabuki, and then head leave Ubuyama for Yamaga via the Milk.

I was fortunate enough to be able to meet up with a lot of old friends. First, we stopped by the Otsuka's (Joe's host family) house and talked about the Kumamoto beef industry. Unfortunately, it's not doing as well as it was doing, but hopefully it will recover. The Otsuka family runs a cattle ranch, and produce beef that rivals that of Kobe, Saga, or just about any beef in Japan. Time is short, so we bid farewell, and head over to Aiko's house.

Jamie, Dave (sh*tf*ck), Emi, Chie, and Aiko are all waiting for us.
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We enjoy some freshly harvested takenoko and drink a lot of beer and shochu, while reminiscing about the good times on JET. Those guys are still doing the program, and having a good time down there. Aiko's family is kind enough to let us spend the night, and we quickly fall asleep.

Day 7- Kikuchi to Kumamoto City to Aso
We eat a simple country-style breakfast of takenoko, tsukemono, and chasuke, and bid farewell to Aiko and her family.On our way to Kikuchi, we stop by Matt's old village and take another onsen in Kikuka town. It costs only 300 yen, a bargain! Continuing on to Kikuchi gorge, we hike in the rain yet again. Kikuchi gorge is just as beautiful as I remember, though it isn't quite the right weather to go for a swim.
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After the hike, we meet Hieda-sensei, a friend of mine as well as the former art teacher in Ubuyama. He takes us to Kokutei, a famous ramenya in Kumamoto city and his favorite place to go for a bowl of noodles. The tonkotsu broth is fantastic even by Kumamoto standards

It is good to hear that he no longer has to travel 2 hours to visit his girlfriend. They now live right next to each other in the city, and have a lot more opportunities to see eachother. When he lived in Ubuyama, he could only visit 2 or 3 times a month! It seems like everyone who has worked in Ubuyama enjoyed working with the children, but they don't really miss some of the other things that come with working in such an isolated area.

We stay the night at the Starry Pension, owned by the Nakayama family. The starry skies of Aso and gentle chirp of the local crickets make for a very peaceful setting. We meet up with Kaori, Kikuko, and Sachika-chan, and enjoy a nice meal of steak followed by a private onsen with a view of the night sky.

Day 8- Kumamoto to Osaka

Nakayama obaasan once again prepares a delicious meal, and to our great surprise, she will not accept any money for staying over at their pension! Sadly, we have little time to spare, and bid a tear filled farewell.

We had planned to visit Kurokawa for a day of onsenning, but didn't have enough time. Instead we visit Daikanbo, and enjoy a soft-serve while looking down into the Aso caldera. The wind is strong, and cold, so we depart.

We have a traditional country style lunch of dagojiro (a miso-based soup with dumplings, pork, and vegetables), and takana meshi (takana fried rice) in a popular restaraunt filled with ornaments from all over Japan.
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It is nice to have a lunch that is way too big to finish, and reminds me how country life is different from life in the city.
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Even within the same country and prefecture, people have such different lifestyles from one another, and food has often been one thing that I can use to make comparisons. Farmers need a lot of energy to work in the field. I guess the same does not necessarily apply to the Calorie Mate and McDonalds fueled OLs and salarymen of the city.

Kikuko and Kaori bid us farewell, and we proceed to sample the many onsens at Aso Farmland. My favorites included the fujinohana onsen, and the inside onsen that glowed nuclear green under the blacklight. Yet another thing that I will miss about Kyushu when I get back to the States.

We drive back to the airport, return the car, and fly back to Osaka. This has been one helluva road trip!

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Note: this entry is a work in progress...

Before Lonely Planet

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Inside a book called "A Pocked Guide to China", there is an interesting comic that shows one how to differentiate between Japanese and other Orientals. As Angry Asian Man would say, "that's racist!".

Were you born in a barn, owl?

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I love wildlife photography, but I refuse to become a birder who totes around gigantic lenses and a tripod everywhere I go. I refuse to wear a Tamron backpack, or be part of a group of people shooting the same thing at the same time from a slightly different angle as the people next to me. So for bird photography, luck, creativity, and a bit of cropping will have to suffice.

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This couple keep my Aunt, Uncle, and cousin up at night with their nocturnal shrieking sessions. I like nature, but I like my sleep even more. How many birds have gone extinct from keeping people awake at night? There have to be at least a few species who have been selected out of the gene pool in this way...

My sister said that I should climb the tree and try and retrieve an owl egg because it would make a good picture. I agreed, but suggested that my cousin should do it to let me take pictures of the action. There was a time when I could have gotten her to do it in exchange for the right amount of candy. Sadly, those days are past.

Denki Groove vids

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If the Dead Kennedys, Kraftwerk, and Devo all mated and had a Japanese love child band, it would probably look something like Denki Groove. The animation reminds me of early MTV commercials and Liquid Television remixed with Heisei Tanuki Gassen Ponpoko.


(via Pink Tentacle)

Bolsa Chica Sunset

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Bolsa Chica is a great place to watch the sun set into the West. The bright, golden glow of the fading light is something I never tire of, especially if I'm barbecuing with friends and family.

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Walking along a channel, I followed a mysterious wake that seemed to defy the current. The murky water prevented a positive identification, but I would guess that the school of large fish that threw this wake were either carp or tilapia. They were too big to be the mullet native to this area.

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There palm trees remind me of driving through Miyazaki with my father. I would have loved to have spent some time on those beautiful beaches. But today, I am looking forward to swimming in the Pacific Ocean off of Huntington Beach. It's been hot and humid lately, not unlike the summers I remember spending in Japan.

Giant Rats

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As I was feeding the cats, I noticed an animal looking down from our guava tree. This guy looks like he's taken some abuse in the face. Maybe he was trying to eat Yoda's food, and got clawed instead.

The opossum looks a lot like the killer rodents of unusual size that attacked the Man in Black in The Princess Bride, and makes a loud hissing noise if molested. I've never heard of them attacking, and used to catch them by the tail when I was a kid.

Another interesting thing about possums is that when they "play dead", they actually pass out from being overwhelmed by terror. I've never seen them do this though. The ones around here must be pretty used to encounters with humans and their pets.

Itazura Ojiichan

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This video reminds me of an episode of Jackass when Spike Jonze gets dressed up as an old man and goes all around messing with people.

Skimmers

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Honeymoon in the Jungle

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Brian and Rebecca just got back from their honeymoon safari in Africa , and you can see the pictures they took here. With over 4000 pictures to edit, there will be more to come when they finally wake up and fight the jetlag.

Here is a picture taken on a recent driveway safari in Orange County:

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An evening of body surfing

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Just got back from a two hour session of body surfing with Merin. The waves were decent today, and by the time we got out, at 6pm, the air and water temperature were perfect. Ball lightning blazed in the halo of clouds around our clear patch as the sun cast a magical glow as it set into the Pacific. I think I'll start going in the water more from now on.

The Avila Coast

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There are so many sea otters off of the coast of Avila Beach that I can't remember exactly how many I saw. Anyone who doubts that otters are a keystone species need only go fishing up here to see first hand the relationship between otters and a healthy kelp forest, full of fish and other marine organisms. In order to get an understanding of just how rich a kelp forest is I went diving.

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As you can see, a proliferation of kelp acts as a magnet for predators, a source of food, a nursery for juviniles, protective cover, and a home for many different creatures. By the way, this picture is actually from the main tank in Monterey Bay Aquarium, in case the way I posted this was misleading, heh. I have yet to dive this section of coastline.

My older sister, who volunteers at the aquarium, tells me the population of otters on the Pacific Coast is not doing too well right now, in general. A feline disease gets into sea water when people flush their kitty litter down the toilet instead of throwing it away, and otters contract this and die.

Another problem with otters is that they like to live where they grew up, so it is hard to reintroduce them into areas where they should do well. Otters that are dropped onto the Channel Islands have often swam all the way back across the channel, driven by their homing instinct to return to their points of origin to the frustruation of the marine biologist who worked so hard to put them there.

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Here's a crop of a juvinile and an adult, chillin' by the kelp.

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Snowy white islands look pretty, but tell a different tale when you're downwind. We were upwind, and even then the stench of guano was overpowering.

Tonkotsu Blues

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I miss really good Japanese food, the kind you can't get in the states. I miss the doteyaki and kushi katsu found in the seedier parts of Osaka, the fresh tsukuri, sushi, agemono, okonomi and monjayaki, dagojiru and butajiru, assorted nabe, goya champuru, yakiniku, kushiyaki, takoyaki, katsudon and katsukare, basashi, soba, udon, and the wild combinations found at tabehodai/nomihodai joints. But most of all, I miss the tonkotsu. Good ramen is hard to find over here, and good tonkotsu is all of unheard of.

Some of the recipes found at The Official Ramen Homepage are actually starting to make me a bit hungry. Here's my contributions to instant ramen recipes of the same vein:


Korean-American Style Instant Ramen

Ingredients
1 package of ramen
1/2 cup of the kimchee of your choice
2 hot dogs, chopped
1 egg, scrambled
korean beansprouts
korean seaweed
green onions

Directions
Cook the noodles for a few minutes while boiling some hot water for the broth in another vessel. Discard the nasty oily water. Add the hot dogs, kimchee, and egg to the new water, and then the noodles. Serve in a bowl and top with korean beansprouts, seaweed, and green onions. Serve with a tall glass of Jinro (for real men) or an ice cold bottle of Hite.


Instant Chow RaMen

Ingredients
1 package of ramen
chopped onion
chopped garlic
chopped red or yellow bell pepper
chopped mushrooms
sesame oil
oyster sauce
shoyu
salt and pepper.
chopped beef or chicken
oyster sauce
chicken broth (or use the soup base from the packet to keep it ghetto)
corn starch

Directions
Marinate the meat in shoyu and oyster sauce for a half an hour. Cook the noodles for a few minutes, discard the nasty oily water, and set aside. Stir fry all of the ingredients, then add a bit of chicken stock and corn starch to thicken. Add salt and pepper to taste. Fry the noodles in sesame oil until they crisp. Top the noodles with the finished sauce, and serve with a nice, cold Tsingtao.

Ah, the joys of low income cooking.
But they do nothing to ease my Tonkotsu Blues. This website kind of helps.

One day, after a long, hard couple of weeks in the office, Huw and I went to have a few pints at an English pub. Our contracts were almost up and we were ready to move with our lives. Adding salt to the earth, many of our co-workers were discontent to the point of staging their own little mutiny and making the working atmosphere uncomfortable to put it mildly.

It was between pints that we happened upon a poem, that was hung in front of the urinals. It read:


IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream- and not make dreams your master,
If you can think- and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings- nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And- which is more- you'll be a Man, my son!

-Rudyard Kipling

It put everything in perspective. Work no longer seemed so stressful anymore, just another common chore not to be given any more thought than necessary to get the job done. The poem gave me a swift kick in the ass, yet again reminding me that I can always do better, or be more mindful of people, things, and events occuring around me.

It seems that time passed quickly after this night. Our contracts expired, the mutiny resolved itself, and we were off- Huw to travel across China, Mongolia, and Russia by planes, trains, and automobiles, and I on my Kyushu road trip. After that, it was time for us to return to our points of origin and slip into the lives waiting for us.

Catch a fire

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Recently, I have been lucky enough to be able to spend a lot of time in the great outdoors of California. This is a shot of a more placid section of the American River at dawn, right before the sun winked out below the horizon. I swear, I love the American countryside just as much as the undeveloped areas in Japan. The sweet, musky chapparal is as dry as the mossy forests are wet. As different as they are from each other, I feel equally at home in both of them.

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Being outdoors is synonymous with having a bonfire. I'm no more of a pyromaniac than any other guy, but I really enjoy the process of building it, from gathering wood, making a nest of tinder under a teepee of twigs, branches, and logs, fanning a feeble flame into a full fledged blaze, and poking the logs to keep the fire going.

I enjoy reading survival books to see how others start their fires and then try the easier ones out. I've never tried to build or use a fire drill, but I have started a fire with flint and steel, a magnifying glass, and a nine volt battery along with some steel wool. Polishing the bottom concave part of a soda can looks cool, but a bit too labor intensive.

Once in a while, it's fun to cheat.Teller, of Penn and Teller, got his fire building badge from the boyscouts by cheating. He buried a can of Sterno just under the soil, and when it was time, he returned with his scout leader, threw a bunch of sticks haphazardly onto the spot, and started the fire right away. Puzzled and frustruated by the success of this seemingly impossible feat, the scout leader had no choice but to award Teller his badge.

I haven't resorted to Sterno, but recently I used laundry lint as tinder and it worked very well in starting our fire. Candles, wax mixed with sawdust, and accelerants (such as petroleum products or strong alcohol) are nice to have if you want to get the fire started quickly.

Ah, fire is cool. In the immortal words of Bevis, "Fire! Fire!"

AOL headaches

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When I cancelled our AOL service, it was a long and painful ordeal. The operator kept on asking me irrelevant questions, often the same ones over and over again. I had to state multiple times that I wanted to quit AOL, but only after 15 minutes of a steadfast unwillingness to reconsider staying with AOL did the representative finally get the cancellation process moving.

AOL is training their people to hassle people from dropping their services. Although I didn't have nearly as hard of a time as this guy, the conversation bears an eerie resemblance my own personal experience.

The Ultimate Showdown

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It's cool to see that the UFC, Pride, and K1 have gained such wide acceptance in the States. There was a time when UFC was struggling to do this, and when few others knew any but the most famous names in mixed martial arts.

But there is a downside to the popularity of MMA. If you don't immediately watch the fights, there is a significant risk of having someone spoil them for you, as when a certain Mr. A. had to hint to the outcome last night:

A: Did you see Tito fight Shamrock?
B: No, we're going to download and watch it later.
A. Dude, it was over in a second!
B. You a-hole, why did you have to say anything?
A. It was kind of predictab...
B. Shut up!

If you are one of these people, keep the outcome to yourself until everyone who wants to see it gets a chance to!

This isn't a UFC fight, but you might enjoy it nonetheless. See how many references you can spot...

link

Refrigerator Tetris

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I sometimes enjoy going through the fridge when cleaning (as well as right before I'm leaving the house for an extended period and immediately proceeding yet another move from house to house) and mixing unlikely ingredients together. Sometimes it works brilliantly, resulting in an awesome combination. These recipes are almost always forgotton afterwards.

Other times it turns out interesting and edible. Occasionally, it is rendered inedible to the point where it induces a violent gag reflex. If you are feeling less daring than I, then I would highly recommend this resource. It would also be a good thing to use when you ask someone "what do you want to eat?" and they reply with "I'm OK with anything."

Then again, I would be inclined to be more creative with strange ingredients when faced with such ambivalence.

New Roots!

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Here is a new track from their album, Game Theory, which drops on August 29th.

Two good articles on The Roots:
here and here

Edit pictures anywhere

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Snipshot lets you crop, resize, and rotate pictures (among other things) on your browser!


Let it flow away

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There have been times where I have felt betrayed, victimized, and wronged. Sometimes life is like that, and there is nothing to do but to move on because things are just so messed up. There's no use in getting angry for a prolonged period, though knowledge of this doesn't always help. Dwelling on these matters does no one any good and can make you a wretched person to be around.

If you can live through the euphoric ups and gut-wrenching downs of life, suffer harm from those close to you, and move on bearing no ill will towards anybody or anything then life will be a lot easier to deal with. Like a pent up river, break down the dam, release the pressure, and the balance will return.

When I am feeling down, the water has always been there to console me. After bad days at the office, nothing would melt away the stress like taking a walk next to the natural mountain springs that I lived next to. Just being near a mountain stream, roaring river, or the ever-changing sea invigorates me like nothing else.

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This place is known as Kikuchi gorge. It is one of my favorite places in Kumamoto, and often I have come here with friends and family to suck in all that this intact forest (a rare thing in most of Japan) has to offer. Jumping off boulders into icy blue pools of water, riding down a sled made from the basalt that came from the explosion that formed the Aso caldera, eating picnics in the shade of an aincent cryptomeria tree on a hot day, driving the windy roads on a foggy night, and bringing Yoda the cat out for an adventure are all fond memories I have of this place.

I'm going rafting from tomorrow on the American River with my sisters and some friends. I'm looking forward to getting back into nature, and enjoying this wonderful California summer. And after that, I'll be teaching sailing in Newport for a while. Life is good.

Fish Lifting Competition

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I remember enjoying this on Japanese TV, which says something since I generally won't watch Japanese TV programs.

Fish are set out in a park with the objective of seeing how heavy of a fish one of the many feral cats can carry away. Cats are disqualified if they start eating the fish without carrying it away. It's kind of painful to watch now, since all of that fish is of superior quality and fresher than any of the stuff I can get here in the States. I guess I'll just have to catch my own.

How did I not hear about this? Awesome.

Basashi Ice Cream

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Think of some things that don't belong on pizza. It has been done in Japan. Now see if any of the ingredients that you picked match up with any of these ice cream flavors.

Paul Fusco gives an account of the legacy of Chernobyl through a narrated slideshow.

Pitagora Switch

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El Sabor Japones

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I guess that "cacahuate" means "peanut". Cool.

Fishing around Diablo Canyon

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Last week, Kohei invited Chris and I to go fishing off of the coast of Avila for 3 days. The conditions are very different from Southern California, as the winds and waves make anything other than fishing in the morning prohibitive.

The place is an ecological gem off the coast of California, and the fishing is unrivaled in terms of size and number of rockfish that you can catch. A professor at UCSB told me of the phenomenal fishing to be found here when I was an undergrad, and I finally got to check it out for myself.

The first day, we used nothing other than Sabiki rigs, and used the smaller fish that we caught for bait with quick results. We released all of the other fish that we caught that day.

The second day, we caught 2 ling cod and over 30 rock fish between the three of us, off the coast of the Diablo Canyon nuclear power plant. You aren't allowed to get within a mile of the facility, so with this in mind we fished its perimeter with great results. The lingcod and many of our larger rockfish were caught by yo-yo'ing blue and white candybar jigs off of the rocky bottom. The rest of the rockfish, and a Cabazon, were caught by using bait that was, itself, caught off of Sabiki rigs.

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This is the first Ling Cod we got. It was too small, so we tossed it back.

Ling Cods look like giant mutsugoro, but taste much better!

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This is Kohei's Ling, which required the use of a gaff to land. It was not so lucky as the first one, and made for a delicious dinner along with the other rockfish that we kept. It had a nasty chomp mark on its flank, likely left by a bigger one. This is one fish whose mouth you don't want to stick your fingers in.

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This is Chris' ferocious trout from Lake Lopez, on a trip we took the following day. Sweet!

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Kohei filleted these suckers in record time, and attracted a medium size crowd in the process. The de-filleted carcasses were quickly snatched up by rival flocks of gulls and pelicans, as well as a sea lion. They started out noisy as all heck, and by the end they were silent, each animal content with their abundance of good fortune. We ended up with well over 20 pounds of fillets!

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A view down the mouths of the Ling and a Rock Cod. The rock cods seemed to be eating a lot of juvenile decorator crabs, judging from the stuff that they regurgitated onto the deck.

Chicago to SoCal, the long way

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I also took a road trip with my sister and her boyfriend from North Chicago to Orange County in a QX4, loaded full of her stuff. More photos and stories will follow. Never before have I had such a ton of content on the backlog that needs posting. I hope that the pile keeps on growing. Is there such a thing as too much fun and finding the things around you too interesting?

Friendly Sea Turtle

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This dude, along with others of his kind, resides at the Marine Center in the southeast of Oita prefecture. This was one of the many places that my dad and I visited on our hectic tour of Kyushu, which I will post more on in the near future.

Another Banner Retired

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A time for changes

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After a lengthy period of consideration, I've decided to keep posting under the same blog name. Some changes to the site design will have to be made, and I have a ton of content to post.

Justin- nice job on the site overhaul. I don't miss the time consuming process of separating spam from real comments and trackback and using MT Blacklist in tandem with Movable Type several times a day. That was getting tedious.

Douched

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Perched behind a cliff, I thought I was in a good position to get some good shots of waves pounding against the rocks. I was right, but a huge "sleeper wave" sucked the receeding water back, swelled up, and smashed into the cliff, flowing along the contour right at my camera!

My new shoes and pants got soaked, but thankfully my camera was not damaged. I walked away dripping and sandy with a smile on my face, quite aware of just how lucky I was.

I don't think I'll be trying that again anytime soon...

Old tricks, new tech

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Here are two good articles that you should read:

This one talks about the largest attempted bank heist (in a Sumitomo Mitsui in London) and shady dealings in the growing economies of online games like World of Warcraft, putting everything into context with classic trickery used through out history.

The other one deals with RFID chips, and vulnerabilities inherent in their indiscriminant use. I have to say, I was a little suspicious about my parents' new keyless Prius (it uses a RFID chip in leiu of a mechanical key) and those suspicions have only grown after reading the article.

Wired has a pretty good gallery of Akibahara up here. Taro hit it spot on when he said that Akibake like to hang out at Yodobashi Camera (the one in the picture looks identical to the one in Umeda).

Foods I didn't try in Korea

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Everyone who goes through Incheon Airport probably has shot these signs already, but...

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I asked the vendor "Does this ice cream taste good?". When he said "Yes, try some!", I politely declined. If the ice cream wasn't being sold at airport prices, I might have taken him up on it.

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Cool. Maybe I'll try it next time.

Old Japanese Posters

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You can view the set here.

Kyushu Ramen Tour

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From April 9th to April 16th, my father and I embarked on an eight day tour of Kyushu. We started out in Kumamoto, renting a car at the airport, and then traveled to Saga, Fukuoka, Oita, Miyazaki, Kagoshima, and then we returned to Kumamoto. Along the way, we ate many great meals, but ramen turned out to be the best documented type of food on this trip.


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Shirogoma (white sesame) and kurogoma (black sesame) tantanmen are the specialties of one ramenya on the 8th floor of Tsuruya in downtown Kumamoto City. Tantanmen is usually a safe bet to order at any given ramenya in my experience, but these variations proved to be a quite different than the ones that I was used to (for an outstanding tantanmen, try the chain Shisen ramen in Osaka, which can be found in both Minami and Kita- they kick ass!).

The shirogoma tantanmen is much like a common red/white brothed tantanmen, except with less ra-yu (chili oil), and with almost half a cup of white goma sprinkled on top. A large handful of green onions are heaped into the broth for good measure. This tantanmen was good, but I think I prefer the kurogoma tantanmen.

The kurogoma tantanmen is so thick with garlic, black sesame seeds, and seasonings that upon first taste, I didn't think I could eat the whole bowl. My father described the taste accurately when he commented that "it tastes medicinal, and almost unpleasantly strong until you get used to it". It was strange to eat a ramen that started out with such a strong, almost disagreeable taste but got better and better with each bite. If you are trying to get over a cold or a hang over, this bowl of noodles might just do it for you.

The portions were huge, and it was a good place to start on our ramen tour.


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Ajisen is one of the two main chains of ramen in Kyushu, the other being Kinryu (not the same as the chains in Kansai). Their ramen is consistently good, and the broth is a solid example of a classic tonkotsu broth. Kinryu, on the other hand, is hit or miss. I have eaten at good franchises and bad one. Of the two, Ajisen is the one you want to visit (It's the one with the cute Chinese girl mascot that kind of looks like Chun-li's baby sister).


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Gofu is a Fukuoka based ramenya/yakinikuya. I highly recommend this chain. Their broth is very good, and their charsiu is roasted to perfection. Order the fried garlic as a condiment to make the broth even better!


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Although not related to ramen, I thought I?d point out another great Fukuoka based chain called Ichiban dori. This yakitoriya is cheap and delicious. Both Ichibandori and Gofu have expanded North of Kyushu, but it is yet to be seen if they will make it to Kansai (Ichibandori has made it as far as Hiroshima, and Gofu has just gotten started in Shimonoseki). Note: the Ichibandori in Kyoto is not of the same chain, and although delicious, is not quite as good.


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This is basically the same as the regular Gofu tonkotsu ramen, except the ingredients are prepared a little differently. The noodles are stir-fried with vegetables and cubed charsiu, kind of like sara champon, but even better in my opinion. My only issue with the sara ramen is that you can't get kaidama because there would be no broth left to put it into.


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Kokutei is perhaps the most famous ramenya in Kumamoto, but despite living here for two years, this was my first visit. Hieda sensei led us to this gem, and it was packed full of customers with a line of people waiting to get in (out of the rain). The charsiu was decent, but the best part about this ramen was the broth. Rich and creamy, like a good tonkotsu should be, it was full of roasted garlic and required no additional seasonings at all. It was perfectly balanced.


I love eating ramen in Kyushu because it is ramen mecca. You can walk into a ramenya anywhere in Kyushu and be confident that the ramen isn't going to suck. There are many places that serve good ramen down in Kyushu, but we only had time to stop into a few of them. Perhaps one day I will return and make a complete evaluation of the ramen of Kyushu?


Some random thoughts about ramen:
*The stinkier the ramenya, the better the broth.
*Kaidama (a noodle refill) kicks ass, but is hard to find outside of Kyushu.
*Kaidama was not available at the tantanmen restaraunt or at ajisen, which was kind of disappointing.
*Broth conservation is something one must keep in mind when ordering kaidama is a possibility.
*At Gofu, they will reheat your broth (and add a bit more) if you order kaidama!
*My friend Matt once asked for kintama (testicles) instead of kaidama at a ramenya.
*Some people believe that translating "ramen" as "chinese noodle soup" makes it easier for foreigners to understand, when in fact just saying "ramen" would be less confusing in the first place.
*Is there ramen in China? If so do they just call it "noodle soup"?
*My top 5 toppings are charsiu, boiled egg, roasted garlic, bean sprouts, and green onions.
*If kaidama is available, then a side of rice or onigiri is unnecessary.
*"Fusion" ramen that mixes the theme from another country's culinary style or ingredients is usually not very good.
*The only good "ramen stadium" I have been to is in Canal City, Fukuoka. The one in Namba is disappointing.
*Bikkuriramen's ramen is not bad, actually.
*I have a friend who talked the manager of a Bikkuriramen into giving her a discount on a bowl of ramen (Bikkuriramen is a chain famous for selling ridiculously cheap ramen).
*Instant ramen mixed with hot dogs, kimchee, and eggs is a great combination!
*Ramen is great after a night of drinking, but seldom is satisfying as a stand-alone meal.

Sachika

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Skink in the chink

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A Japanese skink in between the cracks of the foundation of the ruins of Usuki Castle (Oita Prefecture). Unlike most skinks in Japan, this one lacks the rainbow stripes against the black body. He was running away when I took his picture, but I guess he wasn't worried enough to pass up a meal.

Intent

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As I still have a decent amount of material about Japan that I have yet to post, I plan on running this blog until I exhaust my reserves. After that, I haven't decided whether or not to maintain it as a static archive or to keep on posting. In any case, I have some time to mull this over before I make a decision.

Regarding the material: I need to prep the computer that I'm using before I can install Photoshop and work on my pictures and that may take some time. Once that's done I need to review the few hundred photos that I took during my last days in Kyushu. I'll should get started on this by some time tomorrow if all goes according to plan...

On the way home

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I'm in an internet cafe in an airport in Korea, and I feel disembodied. My keitai no longer works, my apartment is as clean as the day it was first constructed, and I have turned in my gaijin card. There is no changing my mind now. Leaving Japan feels like I'm leaving home. Going back to Southern California feels like I'm on my way to vacation to an old favorite destination.

I have had the time of my life in Japan since I arrived three and a half years ago. Meeting new friends and family while exploring the culture, language, cuisine, and areas of Japan has truly been a non-stop adventure. I know that I am truly fortunate to experience everything I have been able to over here.

So what now? I still haven't decided what to do when I go back, and I am thinking that I might want to teach at a University in Japan in the future. For now, the plans are to go get a big carne asada burrito and go get a tan at the beach.

Japan, this isn't a goodbye just yet...

Busta Rhymes Godzilla

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link (via Gorilla Mask via Warm Milk Comics)

378 Shots from my D251

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There's something to be said for small pictures taken with a cell phone. The first cameras on mobile phones were nothing more than toys, but I was able to get a lot out of my Mitsubishi D251 before it finally lost its picture taking capabilities. I actually preferred this model to its predecessor, the sleeker looking D253. The later model Mitsubishi took higher resolution pictures, but it lacks a removable memory stick and has no flash!

The following pictures are a chronicles of my time on the JET Program, when I was living in Ubuyama-mura (in Kumamoto prefecture). As you might be able to tell from this photostream, my life has been a non-stop procession of fun and adventure.

Huw's Flashcards of the World

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Today was the last day of work for some of us in the office, and to commemorate this occasion I am posting Huw's "Countries of the World" flashcards. The flashcards are appropriate for elementary school level students, however, the spoofs are obviously not meant for anything other than entertainment value.

If you are easily offended by inflated stereotypes about countries, then you might not want to waste of your time looking at these. However, if you have ever taught English in Japan and have an irreverent sense of humor, I think you might be able to appreciate these. Huw sincerely hopes that he has done everything that he could to offend everyone equally... Enjoy!

Country Flashcards
Australia
Australia (spoof)
Canada
Canada (spoof)
China
China (spoof)
France
France (spoof)
Germany Germany (spoof)
Ireland Ireland (spoof)
Japan
Japan (spoof)
New Zealand
New Zealand (spoof)
South Korea
South Korea (spoof)
United Kingdom United Kingdom (spoof)
United States of America
United States of America (spoof)

Question 1

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What has the head of a monkey, the body of a tanuki, the legs of a tiger, and the tail of a snake?

Hint #1: Eating it is thought to cure the hiccups (I wonder what it tastes like and how it is prepared. I imagine it would make a decent miso-based nabe...).

Hint #2: Miyamoto Musashi supposedly killed one of these with a lance.
answer


Question 2

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This mythical creature is native to mountain passes in Kumamoto. What is it?

Hint #1: They have a potato-like head (or a stone one), and a straw covered body.

Hint #2: Monks who stole oil are said to have been punished by being transformed into one of these.

answer


Question 3

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This monster is a humanoid with blackish-green skin, luminescent eyes, and a pointed beard. It is rarely seen by man because it lives in an underwater kingdom.

Hint #1: Combine the kanji for "shark" and "person" to make this.

answer


Question 4

What is the Japanese Will 'o the Wisp?

Hint #1: A possible explanation for these phenomena is methane gas rising from the graves of decomposing corpses.

Hint #2: Combine the kanji for "ball" and "person".

answer


Question 5

What mythological creature resembles a snake, can speak to humans (but often lies), enjoys alcoholic beverages, can leap 1 meter, and has never been captured in spite of many reported sightings?

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Hint #1: It appeared in Doraemon, where it was reported to be about 60cm in length.

Hint #2: The kanji for earth and child are used to write its name.

answer

Ladybug of Spring

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Kappa Nampa

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Crane Technique

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In Umeda, demolition and construction are an ongoning process, like birth and death. Cranes stretch towards the skyline like a pod of brotosaurus on the plains of our primordial Earth. Come to think of it, the planes flying towards Osaka airport kind of look like archeopteri...

Genki Drinks

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Taro bought me an assortment of energy drinks/vitamin elixers. I'm thinking of drinking them all in one go...

I used to think that mixing energy drinks and spirits would be a good idea, but this is not true. Though it often makes for nights charged full of fun and great stories, the events of a night involving this combination usually involve life-threatening situations or temporary loss of memory. The synergetic results are not a good idea under the best of circumstances.

Genki drinks by themselves can do wonders though. One time, I was sick with diarrhea and vomiting while riding the bus up to Hiroshima to go snowboarding with a bunch of friends. I woke up exhausted and deeply disappointed, questioning my ability to snowboard that day.

I crawled out of the bus and bought 3 genki drinks, downing them in quick succession, followed by a tuna mayo onigiri. Thanks to this combination I regained my strength and was able to board with no problem all day.

So what will I do with these genki drinks? I don't know just yet, but I plan on using them in a medicinal context. Sometimes not having interesting stories is a good thing.

Leaving Japan/Going to California

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Work finishes on Friday! Most people seem a bit more cheerful in the office now that the end is near, and this weekend should be a good time to celebrate this milestone with a party under the cherry blossoms. I may decide to go out even if it rains (a hanami party in the rain is truly underrated).

I've been in Japan for so long that I feel as comfortable over here as I did back at home. In spite of this, I've decided to return to Southern California. It will be nice to connect with old friends and relatives, and I am in dire need of a tan. The Japanese winter makes one pastier than a Canadian!

I wouldn't mind living in Japan, and in fact, it's still an option. However, if I were to do so, I wouldn't want to continue being an ALT. Should I choose this path, I would first get my masters and then teach at a university.

As far as I can tell, the eikaiwa market (along with contracts for ALTs in the public school system) is slowly but steadily declining in regards to the quality of services provided and salary and benefits offered. If you are on the JET program, you are doing much better comparatively than those who came before you. If you are teaching in Japan and planning on staying, I highly recommend applying for JET (best-case scenario) so you don't have to go through the hassle of working for a company (better-case scenario), a private or corporate eikaiwa company (worse-case scenario), or one of those notorious companies that have a high turnover rate of gaijin fresh off the plane (the worst-case scenario).

I'm planning on leaving on the 18th of April, but before that I will be taking a week long trip with my father around Kyushu. It will be nice to visit southern Japan again, the place that I consider my home away from home.

It will be nice to see everyone when I get back. See you soon!

Asobo?

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Hit and run

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These stickers are made by Japanese Tobacco (JT), who also runs a salt and tobacco museum up in Tokyo.

A few ads from a bygone era:

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(from here)

Hankyu at night

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I need a tripod!

Chayamachi Fishtank Diver

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At first, I thought that the diver and his spotter were performing some sort of perfomance art, and they kind of were. Amazingly, no one stopped to watch him except for me.

This guy also has to jump into tanks with giant Amazon catfish, sharks, and cichlids. It amuses me that the colorful ciclid tank likely poses the greatest risk to this diver (though it wouldn't be amusing if any harm actually did come to him).

Sky Building Mimicry

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On the way to Kita

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Friend of mine just lit a cigarette on my stove, and he got too close to the flame. Hair still smoking, he asked "Oh, what happened?". Now it stinks like burnt ass in my mini kitchen.

Red Jump Green Jump

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(Original picture courtesy of Justin)

This is dedicated to a fun, 3 hour hike in the rain with Justin and Taro, followed by a night of kushikatsu, drinking, karaoke, and onsening in Nara.

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Tanuki Ponpoko

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Ponpoko pon no pon is the onomotopoetic Japanese expression of how tanuki move. When I saw one running, I was impressed by the accuracy of which ponpoko pon no pon captures their wobbly gait.

Known erroneously as a "badger" or "raccoon" and more accurately as a "raccoon-dog", Tanuki is the only word that fits this animal. The same goes for words like sushi, ramen (translated as Chinese noodle soup), tsukemono (Japanese pickles), miso (fermented soy bean paste), or samurai. The English translation takes something away from the native word by giving an unsatisfactory description.

Apparently, some people eat tanuki in the more rural areas. One of my brother?s friends from Tenri Daigaku described the meat as being gamy and tough. She said that a friend of her family came by the house and dropped off a parcel of meat, which they prepared in a miso-based broth. Miso, it was explained, is a good complementary base to use with gamy meat.

One of my friend?s grandfathers, who lives in Kita-Kyushu, is an avid huntsman. He regularly shoots tanuki but only keeps the fur. His daugher, my friend?s mother, makes the pelts into hats and other rustic clothing, which I like to think he wears on his hunting trips.

Recently I watched an excellent animation produced by Miyazaki Hayao called 平成狸合戦ぽんぽこ(Heisei Tanuki Gassen Ponpoko). At first glance I didn?t expect this anime to be anything that I would be interested in, but it actually deals with such serious issues as social, economic, and environmental problems, the chief one being urban sprawl in the Kanto region of Japan. I highly recommend this film to anyone who is interested in Japanese culture, folklore, or history, as it is bursting full of references to almost everything you can think of.

One thing that still alludes me about the tanuki is why udon with age on top is called tanuki udon, while putting this on top of soba makes it kitsune udon. Does anyone know anything about the history or lore dealing about these two popular meals?

Little Animals

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Pets in Japan

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It sucks to see pets being crammed together like this, warmed like chicken karaage under intense heat lamps.

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Unfortunately, pet stores like this seem to be pretty successful. There are some humane society-like organizations, but they are not nearly as big or powerful as they are back in the states. Only in places like Ashiya have I ever seen pets up for adoption.


Walking down one of the many shotengai in Shinsaibashi, my brother points to a well-known pet store flanked by a pachinko parlor and a mom and pop store that?s been closed up for the night. ?That place got raided by the cops a few years ago. Thy got busted for keeping a tiger and other endangered animals in the back room.? he says. Yakuza like to keep such animals in their apartments to show off, supposedly.

The first thing you?re probably thinking when you look at these pictures is likely to be something like ?Look at the poor little furry animals! That?s so cruel!?

And I would agree with you. Puppies being abandoned in the wilderness or tortured for amusement, newborn kittens tossed into drainage systems during a rainstorm, toads being ripped apart by over-excited little boys, frogs getting blown up with firecrackers (some of these don't count as pets, but illustrate the sadistic pleasure that some people get from torturing or destroying animals in general). Pets are neglected and waste away. It?s normal to see these things over here, but that's only the most visible aspect of this subject.

But I would argue that most Japanese pets are treated like part of the family and are very well taken care of. It should be noted that many people that I know who take care of their pets properly either get them as part of a litter of a friend's pet, or rescue them from a dire situation.

For those owners that keep their pets in tiny enclosed areas, I would argue that many would not consider this cruel. Many people in the city live their lives under similar (but admittedly different) circumstances. If you lived your whole life in a tiny apartment and spent every working day in a cramped office, you might not see anything wrong with keeping your pet in a similar environment. Master and pet, sharing the gaman.

Surprisingly, I think that the dogs of the homeless people live the best lives of all pets in Japan on average. They look the happiest, and seem to be well taken care of. Most homeless rely on their dogs to guard their possessions and property. They are valued companions. They also enjoy a greater degree of freedom than pets owned by people with houses, as they often get to play and hang out with other whenever they like.

If you walk along the Yodogawa, you will see improvised tombstones, bearing names like Kuro and Chibi. These weren?t just dogs, they truly were part of the family.

A Day at the Office

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I'm not writing about anything especially interesting or though provoking. This is simply about an average day in the office over here.

It?s one degree outside. That?s what the screen on the wall-mounted air conditioner reads, but it doesn?t feel that bad once I get in the shower. Letting it run for 5 minutes makes the steam gush out when the door is opened, and it blankets everything in my compact bathroom with a thick coat of mist.

Though I?ve been awake for 50 minutes and acclimated to the light in my apartment, the glare of this clear day pierces my optic nerve like needles when I step out. It?s bitter cold, and the wind whips up whitecaps as far as you can see down the Yodogawa. The wakeboarder isn?t out this morning, and all of the homeless are still tucked away in their blue plastic homes.

There?s something nice about taking the trains around Osaka at off-peak times. No one invades your personal space, and it?s even kind of cozy. People watching kills most of the time on the commute from Kita to Minami.

I notice something new everyday coming and going to work. It?s surprising how much changes from day to day and how many things have escaped my notice over the course of a year. There?s a new Family Mart being built across the street from what used to be the 7-eleven (but is now the i7 and Holdings) that I occasionally drop in to grab breakfast.

I?m amused to find myself excited about the prospect of being able to access a convenience store that?s 100 feet closer to work.

The ancient laptops stutter-hum like semi in the summer heat. I?m living in a world of floppy disks and Windows ME, grateful that these dinosaurs even have USB ports. Just yesterday, one of the hard drives died. We started out with seven laptops. We?re down to three now, as one by one they succumb to the ravages of time.

The cold, hard fluorescent lights that bathe everything in the office in a sickly tint are losing their grip. The spring sun is filtering in through the windows, and the cherry blossoms are preparing for another hanami. Just a little bit longer, and I?m out of here?

Pervert!

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A wolf preying upon an obatallion.

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Japanese Atlas

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Memories of JAL

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The red circle is the sun goddess Amaterasu. It is the rising sun on the Japanese flag. It is Zen. It is an amazupai umeboshi. It is beautiful in its simplicity. Sadly, it is no longer used by Japan Airlines.

Back when airplane food truly sucked, when they still handed out packs of honey-roasted peanuts along with mini-decks of playing cards, and when I used to be able to sneak into first class with my sisters, JAL had the best logo of all of the airlines. Riding a plane with the tsuru mark made even the flight over to Japan seem exotic. It was a graceful metaphor for the Boeing which was carrying us to an exciting foreign land.

As I remember, JAL had some of the most beautiful and nice stewardesses that I can remember. They often turned a blind eye to us when we snuck up to the first class seats. Only once, when a grumpy old man protested to the stewardess were we (nicely) turned back to our seats.

Who made the decision to get rid of the tsuru, a symbol that conjures nostalgic images of Japan for a corporate logo? If I were the president of JAL, that dude would be so fired.

Tori Influenza Containment

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What can these mats really do make sure that avian influenza doesn't enter the country? I think they're there just to make everyone feel better, kind of like making people wait two hours to pass through security when you go to LAX makes us feel safer. Because they're special mats!

When you return overseas to work in Japan, why not have some fun with it or milk a little vacation? Pretend to sneeze, wipe your hand on your pants, and then shake hands with people when you arrive. Talk to them about how much you loved the local delicacy, pigeon sashimi, when you visited the country regions of any place tht has been in the news regarding avian flu outbreaks. Every so often, let out a muffled cough towards your victim and cover your mouth with a few gaps between your fingers (Note: if you do this, you run the risk of being labeled an a**hole, and you really shouldn't be doing this if you really are sick).

If you are on the JET program, this should be a sure-fire way to get you some extra "vacation" (they'll likely quarantine you for a week). It happened three years ago with the SARS outbreak, resulting in a Kumamoto-ken-wide quarantine of JETs who had traveled abroad during the heights of the scare. Everyone, except for me, that is. Even though I came back to Japan with a cold and a severe case of southeast asian microorganisms not agreeing with my digestive system. Actually, I was glad to get back to work, and quite thankful that they didn't make me go in to a lab to be tested by paranoid government workers. That would have sucked!

Nova is in trouble

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The gist of this advertisement is that Nova is going to raise their prices and ostensibly their level of service as well. We all know this is BS. I have met some pretty cool people that have worked at all of the main eikaiwa companies in Japan including Nova, but Nova seems to attract a lot of sub-par, loser gaijin while offering second-rate english conversation lessons. Nothing is very likely to change, except for a price hike.

This has to be one of the stupidest advertisements I have ever seen. Who should have to pay more for an already over-priced, inferior service? Unfortunately, it isn't common knowledge to Japanese people that Nova isn't one of the better franchises. Marketing does work, but will people really buy this?

To their credit though, Nova is a good for getting you a working visa in Japan, for generating unbelievably funny baka-gaijin stories in bulk, and sometimes for networking. Other than that, it is a company that regularly passes out packets of tissue paper for free at most of the places heavily used by pedestrians in Osaka.

The Magic Keitai

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Working with first year primary school students is a lot like being a sheet of tissue paper. The kids seem to enjoy wiping, throwing, spilling or somehow conveying dirt, food, saliva, beverages, and other stuff that would make a petri dish bloom with a thick fuzz ranging the full spectrum of the rainbow.

Today a few kids insisted on licking my sweater, tried to kancho me (swift and merciless revenge was exacted, and the little demon-spawn thought twice before approaching this gaijin with anything other than good intentions), and this one, well, he did something that took me off guard..

During lunch at shogakko, the children push their desks into groups of 4 and each day, they take turns at donning scrubs and masks and serving the school lunch. I am usually shown to a seat, and spend my time playing with them or talking to them about whatever they're interested in that particular moment.

This kid was asking me some questions when he started digging around his nose and pulled out a choice nugget. Fascinated, he decided to test its viscosity by repeatedly poking it against a chair and stretching it out. It was quite sticky and stretchy, like the cheese that strings off of a freshly baked pizza. After a minute, he decided to roll it around the table, as if kneading a lump of dough.

Then he caught me watching, and I could see the light bulb blink on behind his dark, evil eyes. There was never any doubt of what he planned to do, and we locked eyes like rival samurai in the midst of a battle. He extended his loaded finger, this loathsome bayonet of terror, and charged. As I caught his hand, I pulled out my keitai with my other one and switched on the camera.

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"Wow, that's a great booger, do you mind if I take a picture?", I asked. His puny 6 year old brain was short-circuited by the sight of a camera and my question, much the same way a magician uses his props to draw attention away from what he doesn?t want people to see, and he forgot about his wicked deed, reprogrammed by the desire to be photographed. The other kids, of course, then screamed to have their pictures taken as well, and I obliged them, grateful to pay this price instead of having some little brat's booger smeared into my clothing.

So if you teach at elementary or nursery school, remember the camera on your cell phone. Properly used, you can easily change your fate by using it to misdirect the little bastards! Just remember to lock the keys on the phone just in case one of them manages to swipe it from you.

Heads

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How would you like to open up the curtains and see this from the window of your love hotel? It would serve you right for being such a tight wad and picking that hotel in the first place! This was found, of course, in Juso.

Disney Dystopia

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Donald Duck enjoys a little something from McDonalds. Take a careful look at the fries. Another thing to consider: Who is proffering him the fries?

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"All men are not equal in the eyes of law."
Sounds like something that Hammurabi would say.
These Disney characters are really starting to creep me out.

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Beauty's face is missing and the Beast has gone invisible.

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Dumbo wears as much makeup as some of my students and, sadly, this is hardly exaggeration.

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Surprisingly, this place isn't in Juso.

Toothy Smile

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Hadaka boy gets pegged

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This kid was playing dodgeball shirtless on a day that was cold enough to snow. He insisted that "hadaka power" gave him special powers. Ah, I'm going to miss the dodgeball.

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(link)

Dude, Justin, I don't remember you mentioning this on your site.

And the design, you could have done better than a yellow-snowman. Or is it supposed to be dog poo?

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This sticker expresses my exact sentiments towards tobacco smoke and inconsiderate smokers. Wanna smoke? Hey, that's your right, but keep it out of my face!

Across the river from Juso

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This is the view from the Umeda Sky Building, which overlooks all of Kita, as well as Yodogawa-ku. At a higher resolution, you can see the tents of the homeless that run along the sides of the Yodogawa.

Apparently, there is going to be a big, important rose festival and an event showcasing urban greenery (English link) in Osaka later this year. The city officials want to get rid of the homeless in Osakajo park and Utsubo park, where these events are to be held. In order to dismantle the 28 homes in the park and to evict their occupants, about 1,100 workers, security guards, and police were sent in to do the job. Understandably, the homeless and their supporters did not go willingly.

Osaka homeless resist police move (from the BBC, thanks Huw)

Here's an article of information about the evictions in specific, and the challenges faced by the Osaka homeless in general (if you only read one article in this post, read this one):
Urgent appeal from Homeless activists in Osaka, Japan
In this article, the Kamagasaki Patrol no Kai also gives the reader information about what is being done to protest the government.

I think it?s pretty fucking cold-blooded that the city authorities have decided to evict the homeless in the middle of this brutal winter. These are not people who can just pack up and move easily, even when it?s not freezing. I would feel pretty guilty about going to this rose show, knowing that part of the price of admission was paid by people who got kicked out of their homes!

This reminds me of an urban planning class I took at UCSB, when the professor showed us pictures of public benches in cities around America and asked what all of them had in common. ?They?re all designed so that homeless people can?t sleep on them. Next time you?re out and about, look at the designs of the places of the seats.?, he said.

And sure enough, they?re all over the place. Seats are slotted, molded, and partitioned so that you can?t lie across them and benches are curved in a convex contour so that if you were to lie them you would fall off. It?s the ultimate passive aggressive design and it?s invisible to everyone except for it?s targets.

Another article reports a case that may set precedence, for the homeless to be officially allowed to live in the public parks. The Osaka district court recently overruled the Osaka Kita Ward?s decision to reject one homeless man?s registration of his tent in a public park as his address of residence:

"I'm surprised and happy because I did not think I could win," Yamauchi said after hearing the verdict.

"If the ruling is finalized, I plan on applying for welfare," he said.

Yamauchi's lawyer said a person cannot exercise the right to vote or receive welfare, including pension and health insurance, without a residential registration, which means he cannot lead a decent life as a citizen.


(Park deemed tent man's valid address, from the Japan Times via Justin)

I had no idea about the size of the homeless population in Japan, but the BBC article listed a figure of 25,000 people, with a third of them living in Osaka. Apparently, the poor economic performance over the last 15 years has spurred a growth in this demographic.

The homeless around my area maintain gardens, and live a much more sustainable lifestyle than you or I or any average person. The goal of using open green spaces is to create an environment where we can go to feel comfortable, to decompress after spending the majority of our day in a building, surrounded by glass, veneer, cement, bricks, concrete, and barriers that keep us separated from others in general. Urban planners like Frank Lloyd Wright used these areas to help bring nature into an environment that has been sterilized of it, as a place to allow people to enjoy the outdoors together in these commons.

The city officials are kicking out the very people who are living more at harmony with the landscape and urban environment than any other segment of the population. I wonder if they have ever though about where all the trash in the parks comes from, and what demographic abuses the commons the most. Can you guess where the bulk of the garbage next to the Yodogawa comes from?

It comes from people who visit it on the weekends, from upstream, from those damn teenagers and salarymen who eat their convenience store bought snacks and cigarettes and don?t bother looking for a trashcan, and from people who illegally dump their waste on park grounds in order to avoid paying a disposal fee.

It?s the homeless people, the ones who live in these commons, who pick up after the visitors after they go home. It?s the homeless people who ?Reduce, Recycle, and Reuse? other people?s refuse to make or maintain their shelters. Hell, the homeless even maintain extensive flower beds next to the Yodogawa, adding color to an otherwise unremarkable patches of land.

The best way to get a feeling for how remarkable a life that these people live is to go out and visit these places, and that?s just what Justin, Nam, and I did this weekend. We walked along the Yodogawa and checked out some of the tents up close:

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(click on picture for a close-up of the sign, photo by J. Yoshida)
This is an awesome outdoor space that some homeless dude set up next to his tent. The sign says that anyone can use this area! It?s funny how we, the ones with money and property, post signs to drive people away. I might just throw a barbecue party here before I leave, no joke.

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An example of inner city beautification, not paid for by Japanese tax dollars.

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(photo by J. Yoshida)
The homeless make use of all available materials. They also seem to own their own boats!

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These (private) gardens are meticulously maintained, and it looks like leeks, onions, lettuce, and other leafy vegetables will be on the menu this winter. This dude puts the UCSB Environmental Studies major hippie communes/cooperatives to shame! This is sustainability. Did I mention that they sell fishing bait here as well?

As I mentioned before, I will be posting more pictures on my Flickr page so check back once in a while for updates.

Also, I was wondering, is there any other way besides 家のない (ie no nai, or without a house) and安息の場を与えない (ansoku no jou no ataenai, or without a place to rest) to say ?homeless?? Was there a time when saying these words required more of an explanation if you used them in a conversation? Surely a loanword will come into use as the homeless population and issues dealing with them continue to grow. Or maybe not. After researching this topic more thoroughly, it looks like the same things happen and are breifly reported in the news year after year with nothing much changing. Homeless will likely stay "a person without a home" because no one wants to think about them, let alone deal with the problem.


Further Reading

Shannon Higgins tells the story of Japan's largest slum in The Kamagasaki Gallery

Oyama Shiro's book A MAN WITH NO TALENTS: Memoirs of a Tokyo Day Laborer

The Streets of Osaka as documented by subjectivite.net

An excellent BBC pictorial on Japan's homeless, with interviews

This article by the Cristian Science Monitor explores the link between ageism and the homeless in Japan

Artist Geoff Reed's Face The Street

Andreas Seibert's photos of the homeless in Osaka

Japan for Sustainability

The Aozora Foundation

Not everything tastes like chicken

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I?ve been lucky to have been stationed at schools that have their own cooking facilities on school grounds, so everything has been freshly made. As a bonus, kyushoku is cheap (220 yen for a lunch at my current school), and seconds are often available for those who want more.

The task of serving school lunch is delegated to the students, who carefully portion out the food. At the end of the designated time that they are allotted to prepare lunch, a student reads off the menu so that every one can check to make sure that they have everything that's supposed to be there and also to let every one know just what it is that they will be eating.

On this day, I was talking to my students and ignoring the announcement when I heard ?blah blah blah?kujira?blah blah?, and took a second look at the sweet and sour ?pork?. I tasted it, and it was almost identical to the generic sweet and sour pork that you can get at any Chinese restaurant, except the meat wasn?t as fatty. Although delicious, this particular kyushoku made me agitated.

Why would you use whale meat to make a dish that tastes better with pork anyways? Whale meat is certainly more expensive than pork, and there must be other ways to prepare it so that you know you?re eating whale. It just seems like such a waste, even if you ignore the ethical implications of eating large marine mammals. The whalers went through a lot of trouble to file the paperwork to harvest the whale for ?scientific research purposes? and to harpoon the damn thing, so why did they make the whale taste like pork?

Another thing bothered me about the whale. I didn?t feel bad. At all. I chewed it, and though images of Greenpeace, mortally wounded whales floating on a patch of red brine, and other things passed through my mind, it didn?t make me disturbed in the least. All I could think was, ?Wow, this tastes like a lean cut of pork?.

I was curious to know where this whale was from and what type of whale it was. What species was it? Was it a toothed whale or a baleen whale? Where was it caught? How was it captured? The sad thing is that no one ever knows where the whale for our school lunches comes from. They know more about the beef, milk, and vegetables than the whale!

Gyoza and beer 盛り合わせ

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Friday night started out with a trip to go buy enough gyoza for 6 people, meaning 36 garlic stuffed pot stickers, and five tall cans of premium Japanese beer. Once in a while, Osho has a half-price sale on gyoza and people line up outside in a long queue, braving the elements to secure these much-coveted snacks.

I had seen the 105 yen (half price) for a six pack of gyoza advertisements since I've been in Juso, but this is the first time that I actually went out and bought some. Even with two people, it was difficult to make it through all of the gyoza but we managed.

Next week, there's another sale on Saturday so if you're around, please let's enjoy beer and gyoza party in Juso!

Natsukashii Kumamoto

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Mark has a nostalgic post about Kumamoto, along with a nice spread of pictures to illustrate what life on JET was like during our stay (and what it will probably be like for many years to come).

It got me thinking about what a great time I had down there. It's hard to organize the things that I've seen and done down there. This is the most clear and concise way that I could think of quickly cataloguing my experiences:

The Kumamoto Top 5s

Top 5 Hikes
1. Kuju during the winter and spring
2. Aso-san at night
3. Kikuchi gorge
4. Yamabuki suigen when the fireflies are out/ Yamabuki suigen with fresh snow
5. Daikanbo on the Milk Road

Top 5 near death experiences
1. Playing with mamushi
2. Mark getting guillotined by Deez Nuts
3. Driving the Milk late at night in thick fog
4. Driving without a blinker due to Dukes of Hazard entry gone wrong
5. Almost driving off a cliff in Ashikita with Deez Nuts

Top 5 parties
1. Jason's house on any given weekend during the first year
2. Hanami at Kumamoto Castle
3. Waterwheel
4. Any night after a hash
5. Hanami in Ubuyama

Top 5 excuses to get out of work
1. SARS
2. Tori influenza
3. Buying teaching materials
4. Going to a "meeting"
5. A byoukyu surplus

Top 5 perks of JET
1. Recontracting conference in Kobe
2. Mid-year conference in Kumamoto City
3. Free Japanese lessons
4. Loads of nenkyu, raikyu, and byoukyu
5. Meeting cool people from all over and making fun of NOVA people (haha, those guys suck!)

Top 5 foods
1. Tonkotsu ramen
2. Basashi
3. Masa's hamburgers
4. Iseebi sashimi
5. Karashi renkon

5 things I never ate in Kumamoto
1. Inoshishi
2. Kuma
3. Kiji
4. Koi zushi
5. Mamushi

Nastiest 5 drinks
1. Anything from the Sanctuary Bar
2. Flaming doctor peppers
3. Jack Daniels and Contac cold medicine
4. Cheap straight shochu
5. Old, warm happoshu

Top 5 surrounding prefectures and their best attraction
1. Fukuoka- Fukuoka city
2. Saga- Nanayama-mura
3. Miyazaki- The gorge
4. Kagoshima- hiking Kaimon-dake
5. Oita- the aincent Buddhas

Top 5 Onsen Spots
1. Kurokawa
2. Ashikita
3. Ubuyama
4. Kikuchi
5. Kumaden plaza's rooftop onsen

Top 5 menacing/disgusting animals
1. Mamushi
2. Mukade
3. Gejigeji
4. Ao mimizu
5. Roadkill (tanuki, itachi, dogs, cats, and snakes)

Top 5 animals that make you hungry just looking at them
1. Cows
2. Horses
3. Yellowtail
4. Pigs
5. Ayu

Top 5 matsuri
1. The Kagura festival
2. Hifurishinji- the fire swinging festival
3. Drunken horse festival in Kumamoto City
4. Yamaga Lantern festival
5. Kyokushi's beef festival

Top 5 flowers
1. Higothai
2. Nanohana
3. Fujinohana
4. Sakura
5. Ume

Top 5 places to go on a date
1. Picnic at Kikuchi Gorge
2. Party at Ashikita
3. Drive on the caldera
4. Hitting izakaya and hidden Japanese bars in Kumamoto City
5. Hashing

Top 5 things that happened while hashing
1. The hash organizer's hand getting cut due to leaning on a window and breaking through, resulting in a permanent "thumbs up" for several months afterwards, and still running the hash.
2. A shoe getting irretrievably buried in cow shit, and then running the rest of the hash barefoot.
3. Wading through cow shit-laden water in Kyokushi (notice a trend?), and then watching the faces of the workers at the onsen as a group of nasty gaijin bum rushed the facilities.
4. The showing of various body parts at religion, and punative drinks given as a result of mistreating the Chalice.
5. Austin cannonballing the hood of a random person's car as she was driving down a street next to the Shimatori.

In case you couldn't tell, I think that Kumamoto, and Kyushu in general, is one of the best places to live or visit in Japan. The big cities and famous attractions of Japan are cool as well, but there is a feeling of timelessness that I have only experienced in Kyushu, Kumamoto in particular. It's because things aren't as convenient, cutting edge, or fast-paced that life is more adventurous, intimate, and pure in the country side. I hope that Kyushu stays just the way it is, and I think that it just might.

Jack Bauer Facts

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"Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man."

Who's more of a badass, Jack or Chuck?

Where I reside

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I live in Juso, a place whose name can be written shorthand as 13. When I moved from Ubuyama, I wanted to live in a place that was the polar opposite of where I spent my first two years in Japan. I really couldn't have found a place that was so foreign to the Japan I had gotten to know intimately within the same country.

It is interesting to note that a good number of people, even those who live near Juso or who regularly transfer trains in the Hankyu hub, have never been out and about in this area that?s just across the river from Umeda. They have a mostly negative view of the place. Juso is associated with lewdness, strange or handicapped people, danger, and dirtiness. Make no mistake, these things do exist here, but it's pretty tame if you've been traveling anywhere outside of Japan.

It's strange to see how the seasons affect people around here. The crazy people and perverts seem to be warded off by the cold, so the girls who live in my apartment haven't come by and asked if they can chill in my apartment for a while because some strange man was following them home (this happened quite frequently during spring and summer).

It's strange to see how skirt lengths get shorter despite the freezing winds whipping through the street.

It's amusing to see the teenage guitarists and their fan girls hanging out under the tracks of the Juso eki, and drunken salarymen occasionally drop a few thousand yen to play a request.

It's cool to see how well the homeless are getting along without any help from the outside world.

It's annoying to see 10 cops standing on a side street with whistles in mouth and pens in hand, ambushing passing cars to ticket drivers.

It's nice to hear the high school band practice next to the Yodogawa as the sun sinks into the West.

It makes you realize just how cold it is when you see the plumes of smoke coming out of the vents of the restaurants, stalls, and off of grilling takoyaki in the morning and at night. Oh, and the snow makes it abundantly clear too.

It's cool to know that if you want to buy a specific type of egg from a specific type of chicken, quail, or even duck, there is a store at the end of the shotengai where you can probably find exactly what you?re looking for.

It's an especially good sign to see that many of the izakayas and eating establishments are regularly crowded with blue collar workers, enjoying their food and drink after work to the point where you aren't always guarenteed a seat. It's also a good sign that not many young people come to these restaraunts- they go to the fancier, more expensive ones in Umeda or Minami instead. They don?t know what they?re missing.

It's nice to exchange "Ohayogozaimasu", "Ittarashai", and "Ittekimasu" with the old lady who lives in the house next to my apartment every morning on my way to work.

It's gratifying to hear people say that they like Juso, after actually coming down here and spending some time and getting to know it. It isn't a touristy area, nor is it a really happening place to be, but it has a nice balance hidden below a scruffy, slightly notorious surface. It is surprisingly quiet at nighttime.

Sure, there are some unpleasant or provocative things about Juso, but at least it is advertised clearly out in the open. It's no more a corrupt or dirty place than the surrounding areas, it's just more honest.

Good Snowy Weather

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This morning, I woke up refreshed, dusted the crusted snow off of my drying towel for my morning shower, and then skated in the slush to work feeling that today would be a good one for taking pictures. I didn't capture any of the snow before it melted, but saw some cool stuff after I got off of work.

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It?s amazing to see snow, rain, or whatever form precipitation decides to take, fall as the sun is shining. Today, from across the Yodogawa, I could see the snow descending on Kita, sweeping across from Hep 5 to the Sky Building. This, I though, was better viewed from a distance in the warm sunshine.

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The wild dogs were out again today, roving around in packs. This is a sign warning people about them. Other signs were equally disturbing: One made a plea to people not to abandon their dogs in Yodogawa park. It said ?Dogs are nice animals. Don?t buy pets if you can?t take care of them.?. I don?t think that these signs actually change anyone?s mind about what is right and wrong. It?s hard to convert an asshole into a good person, though I wish the same could be said for the reverse.

Here?s a flyer about dogs posted over one of my favorite signs:

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The gist of it is (correct me if I?m wrong) that you shouldn?t be mean to the dogs or surprise them, or they might bite your ass. The dogs are doing their best to live here so be gentle towards them.

It is wrong how pets are dumped in the woods (or next to the Yodogawa for that matter) if their owners get bored of them. If you drive around the country roads of Japan for any length of time, you will see lots of puppy road kill, and if you walk around in the mountains you will probably have to fight the urge to take a whimpering pup home with you. People should have to prove themselves worthy before they are allowed to have kids or pets. And if they fuck up, they shouldn?t get a second chance. Having kids and pets is a privilege, not a right.

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Under the JR bridge on the Shin-Osaka side of the Yodogawa, the pillars have eyes. I wish that these guys would tag more, instead of the delinquents who like to scribble on their territory much the same way that a dog raises its leg.

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This graffiti is cool because it is dispensing some useful information: beware of religious charlatans (who hold their hand up to your head, and then claim that you?re cured, or something to that extent).


I prefer the country to the city, but living in Juso is actually pretty cool sometimes. Not only is it convenient to get to and a good place to find some cheap, authentic Kansai cuisine, but there are just so many interesting things to be seen around here.

Bridge to Awaji-shima at night

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This is the Akashi Bridge that connects Awaji-shima with Kobe, as seen from the Akashi side. It doesn't look like it in the picture, but the sky was pretty dark, and you could just barely make out the beach in the dim light.

I didn't have a tripod, so I rested it on a bench. Unfortunately, a stiff, cold wind was blowing, there was a lot of light from multiple sources polluting the area, and the shutter was open for too long (about 10 seconds or so) for this picture to come out as clearly as I would have liked it to have.

Well, I guess it's time to study up on night photography and hopefully I will have some better pictures to post shortly. I don't think I'll be returning to photograph the Akashi bridge because it's too far away. Justin, you're on this.

porcupinefish.JPG (Porcupine fish are abundant off of the Ryukyu Islands- this is one that I saw on a dive close to Zamami island)

*Fugu is delicious, but how many people had to die before a safe technique was developed to separate the poisonous bits from the delicious, slightly toxic but safe to eat parts?

*How many sushi chefs have died after eating the liver of a fugu because they erroneously believed that they had built up an immunity to the toxin, or were egged on during a drinking session by the rest of the kitchen staff?

*Does anyone eat its cousin, the porcupine fish? It would make sense that something that is even more of a pain in the ass to catch and prepare would be even more delicious.

*It?s going to be hard to convince the Japanese in particular that it is in their best interest to cut down on the rate of seafood consumption. Even if they concede that it is necessary need to do this to protect the long-term interests of everyone regarding the declining stocks of fish, there is going to be some serious reluctance to comply with what is necessary. If they actually do cut down, I don?t want to be there to witness the withdrawal symptoms of Japan.

*Even discounting the fact that uni is sea urchin gonads, it is still disgusting. Admit it, it looks and has the consistency a baby turd.

*If you go to any Japanese aquarium and listen to the people around you, you will almost certainly hear someone say "oishisou" (that looks delicious). I wonder if they feel the same way when they visit Sea World and watch the Shamu show...

*Korean nori kicks ass! So do the technologically advanced wrappers that keep nori separate from convenience store onigiri until right before you eat them. By the way, if you?re lucky, you can sometimes find spam musubi in Japanese convenience stores.

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(Woodblock print by Hiroshige Ando)

*It's cool how the yellowtail has so many names in Japanese:

ao
buri
hiramasa
inada
fukuragikando
kanburi
kozokura
mejiro
tsubasu
wakanago
wakashi
warasa
The names vary depending on the size of the fish, the location where the fish is caught, and also are the result of different dialects. Obviously, the people who came up with these names obviously really loved this fish. I would have never known how delicious it could be if the only yellowtail I had eaten was the stuff we catch back in California, though that stuff isn't bad. In my opinion young Japanese yellowtail from cold waters make the most delicious tsukuri, Broiling the collar with a bit of salt is simply heavenly.

*It has been my experience that a restaurant that sells high-quality maguro and hamachi sashimi will inevitably sell out of the hamachi first. Maguro is good, but not a good enough substitute when you are really craving hamachi.

*If people looked like what they eat, then Osaka station would resemble a massive kaiten sushi restaraunt.

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*Which lobster variety makes the best ise ebi sashimi? The best stuff I've had so far was from the relatively warm waters of the Amakusa Islands in Kumamoto. However, fish tend to taste better from colder waters, and lobsters lose their firmness of flesh as they get older. So would a young Maine lobster be even more delicious than one from Amakusa? How does Okinawa's ise ebi compare?

*Ordering "tsukuri" sounds cooler than ordering "sashimi", but people in Tokyo won?t know what the hell you are talking about.

*I wonder if people who regularly eat the clams from the Yodogawa are suffering any reproductive problems.

*I have been told that a really good way to catch unagi is to put an ayu in a two liter bottle and place it in a river with the mouth facing upstream. Unagi, it was explained to me, find ayu irresistible and once they squeeze into the bottle and eat the fish, they are unable to get out again. This reminds me of how some monkeys are easily trapped. Rice is put inside a hollow coconut, and when the monkey grabs onto the rice, they can?t pull their fist out of the trap. If they would only let go of the rice, their hand wouldn?t be stuck, but apparently monkeys like rice that much.

*Japanese people get confused when told that the jinbeizame (whale shark) is a fish, and some of them think that dolphins are fish. This never fails to be amusing.

*If you go swimming off of the coasts of Kyushu, don't worry about the clear jelly fish so much. It's the ones with red stripes that hurt like a bitch!

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*Mutsugoro (famous in Saga-ken) is hands down the worst tasting fish I have ever eaten. If you can taste mud (a mutsugoro is a mudskipper btw) through a thick layer of teriyaki sauce, there's probably not much that you can do to improve the flavor. The second and third most repugnant marine organisms I?ve tried in Japan would have to be hotaru ika (firefly squid) and fermented whale, respectively.

*I don't like eating small fish that are candied and hard. It feels wrong in more that one way (link to small dried fish).

*Squid kicks ass in so many different ways: calamari rings with spicy salt, battered and fried in tonkatsu, tempura, and fish and chips style batter, dried, dried and coated with honey, cut up as sashimi, or even fried up as a steak or sauteed with some vegetables. It also makes a very handy all-purpose saltwater bait.

*The sushi with crunchy, yellow roe is nasty. Try some next time!

*Japanese salmonids (this includes both trout and salmon) taste a hell of a lot better than the stuff from America. For example, you can stick a skewer through a live Japanese trout, put some salt on its writhing body, broil it over some coals, and come out with some awesome fish on a stick. You can't do this with trout back home and expect it to taste good. I wonder why this is.

*Of all the seaweeds, hijiki will supposedly make your hair the most beautiful.

*Do most people who claim to like hakarl (rotten and mouldy shark flesh) really enjoy it, or is it mostly a way to prove one's virility? Considering that it is traditionally washed down with a drink nicknamed "Black Death", I am leaning toward the latter explanation.

*Has anyone calculated the number of chirimen (tiny fish generally used as a condiment for rice) eaten in Japan in an average year? I am guessing that it?s around jucchopiki (ten trillion). How about for aji?

*What do Gharabaldis taste like?

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*Ayu fishing seems cruel and inhumane, though it is a very clever way to catch a fish that would otherwise be very difficult to catch on rod and reel. Ayu don?t eat bait, but they are territorial fish, so if one ayu intrudes the territory of another, it will ram it. Japanese fishermen figured out that by attaching hooks to the body of a ?rival? they could use a live fish as a lure. In order to attach the rig, you must perform some pretty serious pierce work on the fish that you will use. If you do go fishing for ayu there is a right way to set up the rig. If you cover the eyes of the fish while you are attaching the tackle to its body, it will be in much better condition and stay viable as ?bait? for a long while. If you don?t do this, it may go into shock.

*What type of fish do they use to make kamaboko and chikuwa? I want to see percentages of each species of marine organisms.

*Bioaccumulation is a motherfuckingbitch.

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(from M. Nagano's collection)

*I have never seen anyone eat a shako (a squilla, or more commonly known as the mighty mantis shrimp) at kaiten sushi except for Matt. We had to try it at least once, because we believe that you must try everything at a kaiten sushi restaurant at least once. Before I came to Japan, I had no idea that people ate these ferocious beasts

For Chris

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A Japanese law enforcement officer takes a whiz facing the a busy street (invisible from this angle) next to the Yodogawa river. The steady line of traffic that passed by shortly after I snapped this photo must have been able to see him, as he failed to conceal himself behind the taller shrub to his right. Maybe he was just a cosplay urination exhibitionist.

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Fun fact: it is socially acceptable to whip it out and take a leak almost anywhere on the streets of Japan, especially if you are an old man.

The only way to prevent this is to put little torii (the red Shinto gate) up in places where you don't want people to piss. Pissing on a torii, as my brother explained, is like pissing on God.

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These things apparently work pretty well. Juso, famous for snack bars, colorful non-chain izakayas with an authentic Kansai atmosphere (rivaled only by Shinsekai in my humble opinion), and negiyaki (a type of okonomiyaki, which on a side note I refuse to call a Japanese pizza- who came up with that anyway!) as well as drunk people making their way home from these establishment. The fact that this particular wall does not smell like urine is a testament to the power of the mini torii to ward off those who would otherwise urinate in this area.


Update: Mark has some related pictures up at the Champon Adventures. Thanks dude!

Warmer weather

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It's been a bit warmer around Osaka lately, and like this semi I've been able to shed down a layer and enjoy the crisp air. Hopefully Spring will come early this year. It's a sad and beautiful thing, to know that this year may well be my last opportunity to enjoy Hanami in Japan. It's a shame that there aren't any cherry trees around the Yodogawa though.

Heh, it's only January and I'm already thinking about drinking under the gentle rain of cherry blossoms...

Update (Jan. 19th, 3:33 PM): Never mind, it's snowing again...

Homes of the homeless

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I take these pictures because I truly respect the resourcefulness that these homeless people possess. Using scavenged materials and simple blue tarps, the Yodogawa homeless population has built a community next to the river. By doing so, they have secured themselves one of the best views available in Osaka

The homeless of the Yodogawa don't bother anyone- I have never heard of anyone being molested or even bothered for spare change. Often they hang out, have a couple of drinks, and barbecue. At other times you can see them tending gardens, fishing, practicing their golf, clamming (yes, people do eat clams from the river!), or walking their dogs.

Their dogs are dangerous, though. There are wild packs that roam the banks, and it is best to be wary if you are walking around this area. It is best not to venture out around this area alone, especially at night time, and certainly if you are a female.

Anyhow, for the duration of my stay, I will be posting pictures of these amazing homes as I take them. As I don't want to upset anyone, I'll only be able to take a few at a time or risk being obvious.

Honestly, these homes are amazing- the homeless have accumulated or fabricated everything that they need (refrigerators made out of coolers, outdoor kitchens, and furniture among many other things), and maintain a relatively comfortable life. You can check here for periodic updates.

Yodogawa Graffiti Set

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Most of the tags that people throw up around the city are ugly and uninspired, but if you look hard enough and explore the less frequented areas you can find some really good stuff. I'll be posting pictures of the better works here, so check back once in a while if you're interested.

Behold! The Golden Fanny Pack

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Yodogawa Tori

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I never noticed it before, but the Sky Building is really just a huge tori.

Inoshishi in Kobe

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Last year, Huw and I went on a hike through the mountains of Kobe, starting from Ashiyagawa and ending in Shukugawa. Along the way, we saw many signs with wild boars on them, but saw no real wildlife to speak of, only other hikers. This sign stands right in front of the Hankyu train station, warning the people of Ashiya about the dangers of wild boars that sometimes come down from the hills to get run over by BMWs and Mercedes Benzes. If you're going to get run over, Ashiya is definitely the place to do it!

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The little kid yells "Dame!" at her dad as he gets attacked as a result of feeding the boar. Ah, this brings back so many colorful childhood memories, notably the one where my dad chased after a female black bear and her cubs in order to snap a picture. I'm just disappointed that he didn't get the picture...

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Signs warning hikers against feeding or playing with the boars were more common than one might expect. Personally, if I saw a boar I wouldn't want any part of it after watching Old Yeller but I guess not that many people have seen what happens when you screw with a boar. You either get gored and end up being shot by your best friend, or you kill the boar, eat it, put its head on a stick and worship it as the God of the island. And then you kill Piggy and use his glasses to make fire.

Justin and Nam

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This is a bit late/early depending on how you look at it, but I wanted to say that I'm really happy for you guys. It seems as if you two have been married for over a decade already to me, so it's fitting after waiting so long that you should get married with such a massive undertaking. Hopefully there will be many more pictures to post later.

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Chimera?

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This is a really strange legacy to leave behind, a malignant tumor that won't die.

A Blizzard in Juso

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A big green 0 was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes this morning. Within 10 minutes I was to the door. Snow blasted my face, and I ran through the blizzard, taking the time to snap a few pictures on my cell phone:

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Osho, in Higashi Juso, is starting to accumulate a mantle of snow.

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A shot of Juso Eki between the Eastern Mr. Donut and the entrance to Hankyu railway station

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The train tracks and the area around the Yodogawa quickly accumulated a layer of snow. I wonder how the insulation of the residences of the homeless population, who live in the shanty town along the length of the Yodogawa river, compares to the average Japanese apartment.

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I usually ride on the first car from track number 6 on my way to Osaka. This morning was the first time I remember being able to hear the conductor talking on his radio. Though muffled through the barrier that separates the cockpit from the cabin, I was able to make out the words ?concerned?, ?dangerous?, and ?please check?. A maintenance crew quickly entered the locomotive, as the passengers disembarked.

I?m glad nothing went wrong. Riding in the first car is the most dangerous place in a train to be in case of an accident. After the train crash on the JR line in Amagasaki, I remember reading in The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Travel that if you know that a crash is imminent, it is a good idea to get to the rear of the train. Most of the casualties in Amagasaki were riding in the first two cars. Well, I didn?t start running to the back of the train when I heard the conductor?s concerned exchange on the radio. It would have been impossible to maneuver my way through, as all of the cars were packed like sardine tins.

What's the story with Chappelle?

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I remember watching his stand up two Christmases ago, and hurting from laughing so hard. For whatever reason, it's too bad that he didn't finish the 3rd season. Whether it has any truth to it or not, this is worth reading.

A Better Typhoon

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I've been using this game in my classes since I first started teaching English close to three years ago. Over time, I have modded it into its present version.

Typhoon is a great game to use when you want to review materials from previous lessons, but the traditional way of writing points up on the board and covering them up with individual sheets of paper is time consuming and laborious.

I first got around this problem by making my own deck of customized Typhoon cards with point values and special cards, which worked really well. However, I have come up with a way that anyone can play this game with a standard deck of playing cards.

First, divide the class into 3 or more teams. Any student may raise their hand after you ask a question, but a different student must answer every time. The fastest team to raise their hands gets to answer the question. I usually allow the team to help each other if they don?t know the answer.

If a student gives a correct answer, they pick a card from the deck. Here are the values for the cards:

Point Cards:
*Cards 2-10 are worth their number in points
*Aces ? Diamonds, Clubs, and Hearts are worth 30 points. The Spade is worth 100.

Typhoon Cards:
*Jacks ? They reduce the points of the teams who draws it to 0
*Queens ? If a team draws a Queen, they choose a team and that team?s points are reduced to zero. A team can pick themselves as the target (as teams can accrue negative points).
*Kings ? This card is Armageddon. All points are reduced to zero.
*Joker ? After the Joker comes into play, all point values from this point for everybody become negative points. For example, after the Joker is pulled, the 10 card would subtract 10 points from the total points of the team who draws it.

If the second Joker is drawn, scoring returns to normal.

I used to put the cards up on the board as a grid, and had vocabulary words set up on the x and y axis so that the students would have to use that week?s vocabulary in order to get in some extra practice:

Alpha Beta Niner Delta
Tourettes x x x x
Arachibutyrophobia x x x x
Narcolepsy x x x x
A.D.D. x x x x
Necrophilia x x x x
Pica x x x x

("x" denotes a card, face down. In the case of a deck of 54 cards, I would probably set up the board in a 6 x 9 grid.)

But for the sake of speed, I now just shuffle the deck and let the students pick one out. The team with the most points at the end wins.

This game can be used repeatedly with the same class. The key is to not over use it, and to keep the durations shorter, rather than longer, otherwise they may tire of it prematurely.

Loose leaf photography

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This is a pretty cool trick using a plant leaf as a photographic medium.

The Burnt Finger Teacheth

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When I was three, I touched the barbecue even though I was told it was hot and it would hurt. This is the first incident in which I can remember thinking about linguistics, for the pain seared the memory into my young mind. Barbecue, I reasoned, is a compound word made up of "Barbie" and the letter Q (to check out the etymology of the word barbecue, click here).

For some inexplicable reason, perhaps related to my fascination with the thing that was cooking our dinner, I desired to touch the side of the barbecue, and so I burned my finger and learned my lesson. This is not the first time that I got burnt, and it certainly wasn't to be the last.

A few contusions on my elbows and a small chunk missing out of the base of my back are part of the price I paid for wiping out, while foolishly tearing down the debris covered road to Minoo Falls. I was going too fast and rapidly approaching a sharp, blind corner, and then I ate it while attempting to break. Apparently, I tumbled violently enough to fling my glasses 20 feet away from where I hit the ground.

Luckily, God looks after fools like me, so I have been let off with just a few contusions and abrasions to show. I am sad to say that my Timberland backpack got a bit ripped up as I skidded across the pavement, but its sacrifice literally saved my ass from being torn into hamburger.

So from now on, there will be no more tearing down hills unless they are first deemed to be safe to myself and to others. I can't rightly say why I did it in the first place, especially after hearing about what happened to a student at my high school.

Apparently, last week one of the ichinensei was riding in the rain and lost control, hitting a wall with such force that he died of the injuries. I don't want to ever put anyone through the pain that his family must be feeling right now.

I finally found an easy way to get rid of auto-formatting in Word (and I would have saved myself much frustration had I taken the time to look up an answer before). I hate how Word automatically changes things automatically, like adding indentations, bullets, capitalizing letters, and makes other adjustments when I'm trying to get the lay out looking exactly as I want it to. Sometimes it makes the change exactly how I want for a split second before making another automatic change, as if it were mocking me. Well, I have found the hammer with which to smite this cunning foe down with:

All you have to do is to select the part of the document that you want to work on and then hit "Ctrl + Shift + n" and it will get rid of all of the nonsense. It's so simple, but it is going to save me a lot of wasted time because, even if you turn off auto-formatting, Word sometimes will auto-format anyways. Now when that happens, I can strip the document down to no formatting in seconds.

The feeling that I got when I discovered "Ctrl + Shift + n" reminds me of the time that I found out the reason that my typing in the middle of a body of text was eating the other letters in front of it was the result of the insert function being switched on. Prior to learning about how ?insert? worked, I had to type any corrections on another document and paste them into the body of the text.

Yet despite how much I think I know about Word, I still find it a tedious process to get the layout of some pages just the way I want it to look.

Little Coral Fish

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When I lived deep in the country side I longed to live in the big city. Now that I'm here, I can't wait to get back out into nature. Isolation is a good thing in the right dose, as is being around people. This is not to say that I want to live in suburbia. The best situation would be to live in the country within a reasonable commute to civilization. Pretty much anything other than Ubuyama, I can hack.

I think the ideal set up would be to have a house in Hokkaido, one in Okinawa, and one in Nara so that I could alternate between being able to hike, eat good food, ski, fish, and snowboard with the changing of the seasons. If I ever get really rich and end up living over here, that's what I'm going to do.

Janken: The Final Word

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This ridiculous diagram is part of the revisied lesson plan project that I am working on in the office. At least I'm getting pretty good at using Word and Excel as a result...

Teaching Janken in elementary school makes for a good lesson, but I that the Japanese version sounds so much better than "Ro sham bo" or "Rock, paper, scissors...". Watching it played in Japan can be really entertaining because it sometimes takes on tones similar to those of a Wild West showdown or the fierce swashbuckling of pirate-folk. Especially when the stakes are high.

Janken settles everything neatly and quickly, with authority. Who gets to ride shotgun? Who has to pay for the next round of drinks? Who gets the priviledge of sitting next to the English teacher during lunch? Should we go soak in an onsen or grab some food and beverages? Who has to eat the big chunk of wasabi as punishment for losing? Any decision made by Janken is solid as stone. And unlike an arbitrated decision or ther verdict delivered by a court, it is very rare to see the loser really complain about the fairness of the decision, let alone contesting it.

This simple game has a very colorful anthropological and linguistic history behind it, spanning over years long gone, and weaving itself into the fabric of cultures around the world. It is interesting to note that the symbols used vary widely from place to place, and within the same region depending upon the social context. In Japan there are several versions including a variant of Janken played with the face (a good old fashioned drinking game), and one specific to Osaka.

Janken should be used more often to mitigate problems and disagreements between individuals and groups of people. With the responsible usage of Janken, imagine how much faster problem mitigation would become should our world leaders, political groups, and more adults in general used it to settle our differences.

It certainly works in the context of public schools and between friends and peers. But you'll always find someone who, once they lose, demands that Janken is always played two out of three. This is almost always the person who will change the rules to back when they win the first round. Unless otherwise stipulated, one round of Janken determines who wins and who loses. Period.

Bargain Hunting at Don Quixote

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Don Quixote is my favorite chain store in Japan. Where else can you buy party sized snacks bigger than they sell in American supermarkets, Louis Vuitton bags, electrical appliances, cosplay outfits, children's toys, whale curry, and adult goods all under the same roof? If only Wal-Mart was as cool as this...

I always happen to find great things at "the Donkey Store", and yesterday was no exception:

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How can I best describe this product... um... moist hole in a can. They didn't have an opened one, so I really don't know what this can contains exactly. Is it edible, and if so, what flavour is it? Does it have a heating catalyst or do you have to heat it up some other way? These and other questions need to be addressed.

Luckily...

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"Kumamoto Joe" Debiec doesn't mind if it's a little past its expiration date. For the bargain price of 399 yen, he went crazy and bought a crate full (stocking stuffers, he claimed). His evaluation on this product should be forthcoming shortly- stay tuned...

Koyo Leaves

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Autumn leaves in Osaka.

Palindrome Number Generator

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Take any 3 digit number, and make it's palindrome (by reading it backwards), and add them both together.

ex. 893 + 398

Take the sum of the 3 digit number and its palindrome and repeat the process.

1291 + 1921

Take that sum and repeat the process and... it's a palindrome number:

3212 + 2123 = 5335

Yeah, I know it's really geeky, like something that you would run home and tell your parents about after learning it from your third grade teacher, but admit it- you were kind of impressed, weren't you? I swear, at this rate, I'm going to be attending Star Trek conventions in my rainbow suspenders by the end of the week...

Today's random geeky vocabulary

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Yes, it's another day in the office working on the dreaded Ashiya curriculum, which means that my brain needs to be exercised lest it die from atrophy. A co-worker brought in some slime and started to play with it, which got me thinking about colloids, gels, polymers, and the properties of substances that exhibit behavioral characteristics of both solids and liquids.

Rheopectic - Rheopecty is the property of some non-newtonian fluids to show a time dependant change in viscosity; the longer the fluid undergoes shear, the higher its viscosity. Rheopectic fluids are a rare type of fluids, in which shaking for a time causes solidification. A common house-hold example is corn flour (also known as corn starch) mixed with water.

Thixotropic -Thixotropy is the property of some non-newtonian pseudoplastic fluids to show a time-dependent change in viscosity; the longer the fluid undergoes shear, the lower its viscosity. However, this is not a universal definition; the term is sometimes applied to pseudoplastic fluids without a viscosity/time component.

Many gels and colloids are thixotropic materials, exhibiting a stable form at rest but becoming fluid when agitated. Some clays are also thixotropic, with their behavior of great importance to structural engineering in earthquake zones. Clayey ground can practically liquefy under the shaking of a tremor, greatly increasing the effect on buildings.

The classic example of a thixotropic fluid is ketchup, where waiting for it to pour can be more effective than pounding on the bottom of the bottle. Thixotropic compounds are important paint additives, allowing a thick, smooth application that doesn't run.

Sometimes it's fun to learn words that, if used out in public, will brand you as a pretentious geek. If you do use them out of their limited context with any seriousness, then you are probably a tool.

Crazy 8's

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This meter is my good luck charm, located some place that no one will ever discover, frozen for the rest of time showing almost all eights.

Reaching for the Stars

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This is an actual toy set that is currently for sale at Toys R Us in Japan. Can you picture some little kid asking for this? Mommy, when I grow up I want to work at McDonalds!

All jokes aside, working at Mickey D's doesn't have the same stigma attached to it over here as id does back home. The workers do their jobs with pride and efficiency, and the clerks that I have talked genuinely seem to like their jobs.

Another indicator that things are way different over here: I haven't even heard any stories about disgruntled employees spitting in (or mixing various bodily fluids in) the food or beverages. So maybe Japanese McDonalds is better than the McDonalds in the States after all.

A "Slapping the Forehead" Moment

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Today, when I was teaching "Let It Be" to my high schoolers, I asked a teacher to translate the phrase "let it be" into Japanese. He then said the phrase in katakana English and waited for me to proceed with the lesson. I looked at him in bewilderment and said "No, in Japanese please", to which he replied "hakuna matata!". I lost the struggle to maintain composure, unsuccessfully trying to contain frustruated laughter as I asked him again. He answered "se la vie". Smack! Not that I was being melodramatic, it was a parasympathetic response that caused my hand to slap my forehead with such force. And that's pretty much how that lesson went for that particular class.

Jesus Christ Pose (kid version)

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I was eating kyushoku with the kids at my elementary school, when they asked me why I spike my hair. I told them "God told me to", and for some reason, the kid on the right stood up on a chair and acted out dying on the cross. "I'm Jesus Christ!" he said as the other kids laughed. It was so offensive, that I couldn't contain my laughter. As I was laughing, the words "Blashpemer! You're going straight to hell!" jumped into my head. Ah, I love teaching at elementary school.

The incident reminds me of the story about the Japanese department store in Tokyo that displayed a smiling crucified Santa during Chrismas. Its disappointing when you can't confirm a good story like this.

Today's Special Announcement

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It turns out that we are the first school in Osaka to have spotted the South-American red-backed black widow! Yay!

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After everyone disembarked from the Halloween Weekend Loop Line Party, the JR crowd control staff gathered around this guy who was out cold on the platform and did... well they really didn't do much of anything. They tried shaking him awake and prodded him like a piece of cold mutton, but then gave up and took a few minutes to ponder as a group the following questions:

Why the hell did I get chosen to work on this stinking weekend? Why the hell did all of those stupid foreigners choose to get together and act so stupidly on the train? Did they really think that dressing up in costumes, scaring the natives, drinking in public, switching cars in a mad dash whenever arriving at a new station and just acting like fools in general made for a good time? Should I be more concerned about that warm liquid that soaked through my pants when I was pressed up against that big flabby gaijin man dressed in the nursery school boy outfit (he's in the background of the picture, BTW)?

Apparently, the answer to the second to last question is yes because they come back year after year. It was amusing to see, but it wasn't really any different from a typical weekend in Isla Vista back at UCSB, except for being in Japan on a train. If you want to see Japanese have a mix of apathetic resignation, utter fear, morbid curiosity, or acquired distaste of groups of gaijin in general, then all you need to do is to attend this annual anti-matsuri and you will see. Or you will drink too much and hear from your friends (and other random people that you bump into) about how much of an ass you made of yourself (again, it's the same as any given night in IV).

We didn't stay long enough to see what became of the non-costumed dude on the ground (maybe he was just an unrelated bystander who happened to pass out on the platform), but I bet he was pretty confused when he woke up to the sight of ten JR employees looking down at him. And if he was lucid, perhaps he noticed that the looks on their faces were more of contempt and irritation rather than genuine concern.

Mean Train Grannies

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Today, as I moved aside to offer the old lady behind me the last seat on the train I was shocked to recieve a two-handed full-body thrust push that spun me around. I couldn't help smiling at the sheer rudeness as she defiantly glared into my eyes!

I must point out that there are many more nice old people there are on the train who are greatful whenever you give up your seat, but it's the cantankerous old hags and old sloppy drunk dudes that are the most memorable. Too bad nice people don't tend to stick in one's memory the way nasty ones do. Still though, I can't help but laugh at the mean grannies on the train...

Motivational Competitions

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It causes siblings to try to best their brothers and sisters, it causes classes and schools to forget social heirarchy for a bit and come together to defeat their rival teams, and it was the catalyst that spurred on many brilliant minds and philanthropists to make privatized space travel a reality.

X-Prize founder Peter Diamandis kicked off the PopTech conference here with a lofty goal on Thursday: "Our mission is to bring about radical breakthroughs," he said in his opening-day address.
(link)

But I wonder if the public's imagination can be captivated by the final frontier on Earth as it was by Burt Rutan's Spaceship 1's triumph. Space travel and colonization are fascinating, but there is so much that is yet to be discovered on Earth that we could be focusing on in the mean time. Alternative energy sources, undiscovered life forms, and how the many different systems of the Earth work together are just some of the stuff we could better understand if there was more interest, funding, and research put into the marine sciences.

The article mentions the discovery of a deep-sea microbe that eats methane and farts out elemental hydrogen. Now, if only we could capture cow burps, have the bacteria convert them, and use the hydrogen to power our cars, we could reduce bovine greenhouse gas emissions and tap into a previously unimagined source of energy! Dude, that prize is so mine!

Okinawa Revisited

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The lovable blenny defends his mighty kingdom against any diver foolish enough to invade his territory, until you get too close at which time he zips back into the safety of a small hole

As I review these pictures from my dives in Okinawa they awaken a hunger for spam, a thirst for good awamori, and a strong urge go to the beach and jump into the sapphire waters that lap the shores of the Ryukyu islands.

And the fish! They were so colorful and delicious that I found myself doing something at Churami Aquarium that I have always poked fun at Japanese tourists for doing whenever they visit any aquarium.

After picking out fresh fish at the market and having the restaurants, situated one floor above, turn it all into a delicious meal, I couldn't help but stare through the 6 inch thick plexiglass and think of a feast. I remember thinking, "Damn, that mahi mahi would go excellent with a big frosty glass of Orion beer!".

The warm twang of the sanshin and the crashing surf are beckoning to me, inviting me back with promises of kicking back on the beach with a drink in hand and a full belly after a long day spent in the water. I hope I can make it back to those beautiful islands some day, the sooner the better.

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Capoeira West Batizado 2005 Pictures

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Yo, pictures are up from the Capoeira West 2005 Batizado:

Justin's post and pictures

Michelle's pictures

The batizado brought together groups from all over to Japan, allowing the participants to play against players using a variety of styles and techniques. It was fascinating to see the game being played by such high level players, to observe how the balances between trickery, speed, flexibility, acrobatics, and strength affect the mood and pacing of the game.

The coolest thing about this martial art is that if you look at the faces of the participants, almost everyone is wearing a smile and is having a good time. Though sometimes it is appropriate to strike another player and to inflict injury, mostly the participants do not play to hurt each other, and rather just demonstrate moves rather than carry a potentially dangerous kick or sweep to completion.

I?ve been told that you have to be careful when you play with students from other schools, but I?ve only heard and read about ruthlessness in the roda second-hand. From what I've seen in Japan, capoeira does not tend to attract the same meatheads, the guys who are out there to prove their manliness by exerting dominance on every one, that other martial arts do.

I often hear people say that capoeira is not effective as a martial art. Then why haven't we seen people use it in Pride, UFC, or K1? Well, in these venues, other martial arts have an edge. For pit fight situations like these muay thai, jiu-jitsu, shoot fighting, etc... give a fighter the edge. I would also argue that, like Aikido, it takes a lot of time and practice before one can use it to fight proficiently in contrast to the relatively little training it takes someone learning jiu-jitsu before that training can be effectively applied in a real fight situation. But mostly, choosing to engage in such a fight goes against the philosophy of capoeira, which preaches cunning and trickery over brute strength.

Luring an opponent into attacking and then springing a trap when they least expect it is how the capoerista would choose to engage an enemy. For example, he might feign a retreat or a fall to the ground, and then instantly spring back and ambush the attacker with a powerful kick. And if he is at a disadvantage or starts losing the fight, then running away is a completely acceptable option. This is no Cobra Kai approach to life.

Mestre Bimba was once asked "What would you do if someone pointed a gun to your chest?" to which he replied "Then I would die, my son.". There is no conventional sense of "honor" in this martial art, which was built from the practical knowledge of those who needed to protect themselves and fight outnumbered and outgunned, against all odds. Survival and learning to thrive amid the hardships of life are the values inherent in capoeira.

In Brazil, capoeiristas are known to fight holding razorblades in their hands and between their toes. The lateral shift of the jinga, the use of cartwheels and acrobatics, and the dazzling movements on the ground look a lot more dangerous if you can picture how these graceful movements could be used to slice and dice an unwary opponent. It?s interesting to note that members of the older generation are viewed both as lawless thugs and as protectors against the government and police. Many of them kept the nightsticks of police that they had defeated in street fights as trophies, and one famous capoeirista actually went into police headquarters and returned his sizable collection to them as a taunt (In case you were interested, these accounts were taken from Capoeira: A Brazillian Art Form by Bira Almeida and The Little Capoeira Book by Nestor Capoeira). Now that?s bad ass.

Fun with L/R

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Last week, I started teaching at a shogakko in Ashiya, the Beverly Hills of Osaka. It was a breath of fresh air, and once again my motivation has been jumpstarted after 6 months of losing momentum.

A few weekends ago I went to scope out the neighborhood, and spent a whole Saturday skating around town. Benzs, BMWs, Peugeots, Porsches, and other luxury cars make up the majority of the traffic in this area, and it seems like most of the residents here have never seen a skateboarder riding on their streets. The houses are nice and large, there are plenty of well-groomed trees and pathways (makes for good riding), and everything looks either new or well taken care of. In any case, you can tell that the people who live here have some serious wealth.

I took a ride down to the beach, and was surrounded by things that I really wanted to do but couldn't. A group of kayakers kept pace with me along the shore as I skated towards some sailboats in the distance who were having a regatta. As I passed over a bridge, I paused to watch five separate groups of wakeboarders, who were taking turns riding and jumping down a wide open canal.

Ah, it was so frustrating to see all of these people doing all of these things that I have wanted for so long to do and not being able to join them! I know that I'm lucky to have been able to do even do these sports in the past. But because of my desire to do these things will almost certainly be unfulfilled, I think I'll stay away from the beach at Ashiya from now on. Now I can better relate to those who have not, it has made me more thankful for all that I have.

The kids that I'm teaching in Ashiya are being raised in an environment so different from my that of my high school. To generalize, most of them have the support that they need from their parents and teachers, come from affluent families, and are adequately challenged by their classes. After teaching only the 4th grader classes for just one day, it is abundantly clear that these elementary school students are better at speaking English, and in many cases reading and writing, than my current high school students. When they grow up, these kids are destined to attend high-level high schools, and are much more likely to set their goals higher and to succeed.

It is sad to think that if my high school students had the same support and education as my elementary school students, they would be so much better off than they are now. Most of them are going straight into work instead of trade school or college, after they graduate in December (this is strange because most students in Japan graduate in April- another sign that I?m at an unusually low-level school). The function of my high school has been to keep them off the streets until they graduate, and to help place them into jobs when they finish school.

I truly like my high school students outside of class. I can see that that most of them are bound to live lives full of challenges that they are ignorant of and ill-equipped to handle. At the elementary school, I can and will make a small difference with my students for the limited time I have with them. At the high school, I will continue to do what I can, but the best thing I can do for them is to reach out to the few students who want to learn, and to talk with the others and share in their good times.

I have had a few small victories in my high school classes. Although they are a lot less disciplined and respectful than what I was used to, the kids generally find my lessons to be interesting, even if I think otherwise. They still read manga, text on their phones, constantly talk to each other, and sleep, but sometimes I can get almost everyone to pay attention to an activity or game. I am convinced that I could make a difference if I had my own class, but teaching at this school as a full-timer would likely burn me out like most of the other students who teach here.

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The problem kid's stack of manga reminds me of forts that I used to make out of sofa cushions.

I am also proud to say that the one ?problem? kid that I was warned "could become violent" and advised to let sleep in class actually pays attention, asks for my help on our assignments, and participates in my lessons. None of the other teachers can believe it, but he's actually one of my better students. It just goes to show you that there is a way to get through to almost anyone, even the ones that are given up on by everyone else. What he really needs is to be challenged more in class, because he is clearly a smart kid, but that is not the way of the Japanese educational system. Clearly, the system has failed in his case.

I am thankful that I have been able to teach at schools ranging from one side of the spectrum to the other (regarding funding, quality of teachers, resources, etc...). It has given me a perspective on the educational system in Japan that few others have been able to experience. It is easy to see how a teacher who taught in only one or a few other learning environments (for example someone who has only taught in rural, high level, a technical, a remedial, special education, nursery, or the different ranges of trade schools, colleges, etc.) might gain a skewed perspective of the system and make sweeping, case-specific generalizations about the Japanese educational system.

So what are some things that can be done to fix the system in Japan? First of all, people who work for the Ministry of Education should be required to visit a wide spectrum of schools and participate in lessons on a regular and frequent basis, to witness the effects that their decisions and policies have on the students, teachers, and staff first-hand. There are too many decisions being made without listening to or considering the input from the trenches. Problems could be much more quickly, efficiently, and effectively spotted and mitigated if the administrators were grounded a little more in reality rather than basing their decisions solely on second-hand information and administrative theory and speculation.

Next, the goal of students ranging from kindergarten to junior high should mainly be to master conversation with a little bit of reading, writing, and grammar to supplement the curriculum. If learning is made into an interesting subject, then students will start doing better at it. Expecting junior high school students to focus on grammar and non-spoken English is unrealistic (not to mention boring) and has its roots in the Ministry of Education's old way of thinking. One might think that the head honchos would question why they can?t speak English even though many of them had studied it over several years, and try to make changes to the system as not to repeat the same mistake with the subsequent generations of students at stake, but it just doesn?t seem like they do.

I am also of the opinion that the entrance tests for high schools are not appropriate for junior high school students. The tests put too much stress, even more stress that high school students in the U.S. are subjected to from taking the SATs, on these young children. On the other side, I have heard that the entrance exams for the universities and colleges that high school students take are relatively easy (in general).

Entrance into higher education is more heavily weighted by the high school that one attends than how one performs on the aptitude tests, or on one?s grades, in comparison to western schools. Why is this? Shouldn?t the tests given to older students have a little more riding on the stake of one?s future than the ones given to 14 and 15 year olds? All I know is that I would have never had a chance to go to a U.C. school if the fate of my educational future had been determined by my performance in junior high school.

Putting too much pressure on any living thing will stunt its growth, and I do think that the high school entrance exams have a net detrimental effect on Japanese students (I think that this would be a fascinating topic to do some serious research on). It is so sad to see how much the kids stress out right before the tests. They should be able to enjoy their childhood when they?re still so young instead of carrying an adult-sized burden.

The last big thing I would change in the system is to introduce an emphasis on learning individual, critical, and creative thinking. The perceived need for this change probably stems from the values that I was raised with in America, but it seems that the majority of my students can not or do not want to think for themselves. They prefer to make decisions and think about things as a collective, but wouldn?t it be better if the students could both function well on their own, and as part of a team(I do believe that students in the U.S. would benefit from learning how to work and play together a little bit more and be a little less self-centered in their ways of thinking and acting, but that?s another issue)?

Should this change come into effect, it would greatly cut down on the amount of time that people in this country spend on meetings and consulting with others before actually getting things done. Do meetings really need to be had to decide on when to have other meetings? Again, perhaps this is an ethnocentric goal, but I think it would be a good thing for everyone to be able to express their own opinions at times other than a drinking party.

Vagabond, M. Fingerhut

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It looks like Mark is finally making his way back home, after traveling around southeast Asia for about two months. Check out his pictures (dude, it took you long enough to post them!) and read all about his odyssey at his blog. Well done Mark, and good luck back in the States.

Random Short Story

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I'm not sure how I stumbled upon this (I think I was doing a search on Kyushu), but it was a good short story. I really like short stories, like the ones by by Hemmingway (like the Nick Adams series), Louis L'Amour, Phillip K. Dick, William Gibson, or those by Roald Dahl. It's amazing how much you can make with so few words.

Lately, short stories are just about the only newly released literature that I can read. I can usually get through a magazine, or peruse a few chapters of a book before my legs start to get tired from hovering around the English section. If only Kinokuniya would put chairs in their store in Umeda, then I would be able to read as much as I like.

The one new book that I actually own and am still working on is America (the book). It is seriously the best book to have over here because whenever I crack it open at school, it looks like I'm doing work. All of the teachers assume that it's a textbook and that I'm using it for a lesson! Ah, sometimes living in a country where few people are good at or interested in English has its benefits.

On a side note, I'm finding that trying to study Japanese by reading novels is not a very good or easy way to stay motivated. The literary form of Japanese is much different than colloquial Japanese, but I guess it's the same with English and other languages.

I think most Japanese feel the same way, because they seem to prefer to ingest their words accompanied by pictures. I enjoy reading comics sometimes (right now I'm reading Preacher by Garth Ennis- thanks Huw), but usually I would rather read a book and let my mind generate everything inside of my head than let a comic construct a world for me. Unless I'm tired of reading, of course.

The Darkside of RFID

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You should read Bruce Sterling's post on (a book about) the possible misuse of RFID chips. If you've been keeping up with RFID news, the new version of the American passport is slated to have one of these chips imbedded into it, and there has allegedly been little thought given to security issues that will arise from their use (like identity theft and data mining). Don't know what I'm talking about? You should find out.

Capoeira West Batizado 2005

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This is going to be an awesome event! If you can make it to Namba on the October 16th (Sunday), come and join us. It's going to be in Minatomachi by the river next to the radio station. If you want more information or directions to the place, let me know.

Slow Death sings the Goodbye song

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Sadistic he is, that guy...

My Church

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It is only because my parent took us on trips up to Mammoth, along the California coast, and to places such as Yosemite and Kern County, that I grew up in the outdoors, among majestic evergreens and splashing about in streams and rivers. Southern California used to have a rich watershed that supported steelhead and Grizzlies, but long ago they were dammed off, paved over, and methodically eliminated, or changed to the point where they were unrecognizable from their previous natural state.

The only river near our house in Orange County is the Santa Ana river, which is not really a river at all any more. It's just a huge concrete drainage conduit that channels runoff, prevents the ground from absorbing water, and efficiently flushes it out into the Pacific Ocean (why are we doing this when we have a limited fresh water supply?). The only fish you'll find in there are the occasional goldfish or mosquito fish, along with some crayfish that subsist off of the decomposing crud that stinks up the pools. It is amusing to see the occasional kayaker in there when it starts flowing, but not so cool when kids fall in and drown in the straight, powerful current.

Japan is a land of mountains and rivers. Sure, the Japanese still like to dam up their rivers and streams for no good reason (while the general practice in the US has become that of removing dams and restoring watersheds to their former state because society has finally recognized the value of a healthy watershed), but there are so many rivers over here that some of them are yet to be ?modified to increase safety and efficiency? so they are still in pristine shape. To find such rivers, you must venture deep into the country and search out those hidden places that are unknown to or neglected by the average Ichiro.

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Yamabuki suigen was my favorite place in Aso, because it was only 20 minutes away from my house, and no one went there except for me. After a hard day at work, I would often come here and walk through the primeval forest, sneaking up on frogs, toads, salamanders, voles foraging for food, wild songbirds, and even rabbits, deer and foxes. The water was so pure that I drank it without fear of giardia or other microbes. The water bubbled out of so many places in the forest, feeding the snaking river and creating countless islands of lush green in its swirling flow.

The best time to go was just after the sun started to fall from its peak in the sky, because the light would pierce the canopy as golden rays, breaking up the thick shadows. This is surely the religious experience that John Muir loved so much and fought so hard to protect. The forest was mine, because no one else knew about it, and if they did, they seldom, if ever, went there. I actually preferred to be alone here most times, rather than break the connection that I had with the forest.

Obviously, some people did come here on occasion, because I was always picking up trash on my hikes. It felt sacrilegious to let litter sit here, and I could not comprehend how anyone could do this. This is one thing that I hate about Japan. They should really know better than to litter- they have so little land over here that you would think that they would treat the little patches that they have with more respect. It kind of made me want to start my own Monkey Wrench Gang, and to start punishing the bastards who defiled these sacred grounds.

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Ikeyama suigen is the spring that everyone visits in Ubuyama. It is a nice place, but this is the "lite" version of Nature- manicured and commoditized.

If you ever find yourself on the Yamanami Highway, passing through Ichinomiya and Ubuyama, I highly recommend dropping by Yamabuki suigen (spring). The other spring, Ikeyama suigen, is quite popular and famous (people always come with plastic jugs to bring water home with them), but Yamabuki is so much better. Even if you follow the signs to Yamabuki, you still might get lost, but that?s a good thing. It keeps some of the riff-raff out, and it makes for a challenge.

My favorite time to visit the spring is right after a snowstorm. I wish I had pictures to show you but, take my word for it, it is the most beautiful spot that I have found in Northern Aso. It looks too beautiful to be of this world.

I, Tree Murderer

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I really enjoyed majoring in the Environmental Studies program at UCSB, but despite being well educated in environmental issues I find myself not living sustainably or making choices that really make a difference in the right way. It's just too big of a pain in the ass to do, and there is no benefit from thinking about it. To be ignorant of the extent to which man has and continues to abuse the commons of the world is to be free of a huge dead albatross around one's neck.

The choices I make are informed, but that doesn't really make them any better than the ones made by people who don't take such things into their consideration. Maybe that makes it worse, because I know the implications of my actions and I more often choose convenience or comfort over the right thing to do. But it is damned hard to live a life of environmental morality, and to live this way would be pretty unbalanced. I have never met anyone who hasn?t been part of the problem, just people who try to minimize the impacts of their actions.

Sure, I take the train or skate to work every day, and I refuse plastic bags or disposable chopsticks when ever it's possible, and I even pick up litter when I go hiking, but does this make a difference in the big picture? I would have to say no, having seen how people over here treat their natural areas as garbage bins/ashtrays. In the end, only I know the size of my ecological footprint.

It's quite agitating to witness countless people shed and discard the various layers of packaging from their food or drink immediately after leaving the convenience store. I think that the average time that a plastic bag from a 7-11 is actually used before it is discarded would be less than a minute.

In school, I have to use large volumes of paper in order to do my job effectively because there is only one way to effectively manage my students. They need to be given worksheets to do. As long as there are worksheets to keep them busy, the stress level for both teachers and students is kept to a minimum. It comforts them in a way that other teaching materials can and do not. It kind of works the same as switching on the TV as background stimuli. They concentrate on it but lapse into sub-consciousness, or at least that?s what it looks like to me.

But the price for keeping the students busy and contented is quite high. I use at least one sheet of B4 sized paper and sometimes two sheets of A4 per class. I teach 5 regular classes of 40 students per class, 3 elective classes of 20 students per class, as well as a special education class of 6 students. A4 paper(210x297mm) is roughly equivalent to a standard sheet of 8x11 (216x279mm) from the U.S., and B4(250x353mm) is about 1.4 times the size of a sheet of A4 (for more information than you probably ever need to know about the ISO 216 paper size system, check out this site).

This may not sound like a lot of paper but the four minutes of the pounding machine gun "clackclackclackclackclack", of the paper hitting the print tray terminus upon ejection from the risograph (a copying machine used to print out large quantities), that it takes to spit out 250 copies drives home just how much paper I use. That translates into an inch and a half thick, 5 pound pile of paper per week! I can't describe the amount of paper that is kept in stock in the copy room, other than to call it a fortified great wall of paper. It is disgusting how much paper we use here, but there is really no other way.

There is no recycling system set up either. It all goes into the burnable garbage bin with everything else. I think that the only way to reduce the consumption of paper on this scale is by:

1. replacing the need for paper with some other substitute (like computers or tablets)
2. changing the way lessons are taught (but this is Japan, the land of social and ideological immobility)
3. hiking up the cost of paper (and this doesn't necessarily have to be in terms of money)

I have already maximized the utility of worksheets in my classes by cramming as much material possible in every available space, and trying to stretch the material over as much class time as I can without sacrificing the quality of the lessons, so I am doing as much as is reasonably possible as far as I can think of.

I wish that paper was more expensive in order to cut down on waste, but I'm glad that I have enough paper to make as many copies as I need to make my job easier. I'm not going to lose any sleep over this, but it does bother me enough to write about. Let this be a warning to those who major in Environmental Studies. It is depressing when you know about the really ugly problems around us, and wanting to do something about it unless you set realistic goals. Individual choices and actions do have meaning, but most of the time they don?t mean as much as we would like them to.

Howlin' the Blues

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Every so often, I stumble onto really cool things, places, or experiences when I least expect to. I thought that I'd seen everything of interest around Juso within walking distance, but tonight my wanderings led me to some excellent blues music. Mishark and I were out exploring the neighborhood when we came upon the Howlin' Bar in Tsukamoto. If Jake and Elwood Blues lived in Osaka, this is where you would find them.

As we approached the entrance, the unmistakable sound of a live show pulled us up the stairs and into the bar. I bought a glass of Yebisu, and sat down to watch the last part of the show. The band was awesome- there were two guys singing/playing the harmonica to a band that was obviously having a good time (as well as the audience). I don't know how else to describe the show other than to say that these guys rocked!

I talked with one of the guitarists after the show, and he said that the band was just a bunch of guys that got together for a jam session. They played so well together that I had just assumed that they were a band. Apparently, these guys have live shows at Howlin' about once a month, and it looks like a lot of other bands frequent the bar to put on live shows as well.

In any case, I have a new favorite bar in Yodogawa-ku. Check out the guitarist's blog (in Japanese) for a schedule of live performances around Kansai. If anyone's interested, there's going to be another show on October 29th (Saturday). I'm taking tonight as a message- It's not like I'm on a mission from God, but I know that it's time to start going out and exploring new places more frequently.

Hiatus

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I'm going to take a break from posting for a while, but I'm not gone. If you need to reach me, I'll be here.

Mad Paint Skillz

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I hate using generic MS applications to create or edit images, but sometimes it can't be helped. Having to rely on MSPaint in order to make diagrams after being exposed to the capabilities of Illustrator is a "Flowers for Algenon" like experience. Then again, I'm not being asked to crank out stylized works of art, though that would be nice.

Big and Hairy

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(A giant spider in Kyokushi, a place in Kumamoto known for smelling like manure all year round.)

For one interested in insects, reptiles, and other disgusting life forms, Japan is a great place to be. You can't even escape from nature even if go to the center of the city. I thought that centipedes and giant spiders wouldn't be able to make it outside of the country, but I was wrong.

The only bugs that I truly hate are cockroaches and mosquitoes. When I find a bug in my apartment, I usually try and put it back into the outside world, but cockroaches and mosquitoes face persecution.

Back when I lived in Aso, I had a huge furo (bath) that I never used, because it was too expensive to fill up. One day I saw a huge millipede crawl under a bucket in the tub, but then I forgot about it. The next week, when I was cleaning the tub, I found the body of the millipede under the bucket. I washed it down the drain.

The next month I started to find tiny millipedes crawling around the tub. What started as a few turned into hordes of millipedes all over the bathroom, some making it into the far reaches of my house. I think that I was being punished for letting the mother millipede die for no good reason, other than I didn't feel like dealing with it. I helped some of the baby millipedes outside, but any that I found in the tub got washed down the drain...

Update:
Kevin's comment on millipede reproduction led me to this site, where this excerpt was taken from:

Female millipedes make an underground nest into which they lay their eggs The nest is made by excreting soil they have eaten and using their anal folds to shape it as required. Either as a nest for a number of eggs or as a coating for individual eggs i.e. Glomeris balcanica. Female millipedes may lay as many a 2 000 eggs but a few hundred is more likely. There is great variation in the number laid within a species depending on the size and condition of the female. Some species such as Tachypodoiulus niger are iteroparous, i.e. they can lay more than one lot of eggs and may live for more than one year as mature adult. Other species such as Ophyiulus pilosus are semelparous, i.e. they lay one batch of eggs and then die.

Young millipedes hatch inside the nest and remain within it. They then rapidly, usually within 12 hours moult again into their first stadia (= instar). Polydesmus inconstans leaves the nest after this after this but other species remain in the nest for up to the first three stadia i.e. Pachybolus ligulatus. There are other variations on this theme for instance Orthomorpha (=Oxidus) gracilis remains inside the egg during its first stadium and does not hatch until after it has moulted to stadia 2. Stadia one millipedes have 3 pairs of legs on segments 2, 3 and 4 except in some Colobgnath species such as Polyzonium germanicum which has 4 pairs. However they gain legs rapidly with each moult the first young millipedes you see are normally already in possession of quite a few legs.

Temperate species tend to eat about 5X their weight in leaf litter between hatching and reaching maturity. They digest some of the plant material themselves, particularly any proteins and simple sugars. They also digest some of the micro-organisms that inhabit the surfaces of the material, particularly the fungi. Micro-organisms play a crucial role in the digestion of Millipedes by breaking down the cellulose that makes up the plant fibers into more smaller and easily digestible molecules like simple sugars. Many millipedes indulge in coprophagy, i.e. they eat their own faeces. Some species such as Apheloria montana will die if not allowed to feed on their own faeces, quite why is not fully understood.

Perhaps the millipede went down the drain, laid its eggs, and then crawled up to die. Or perhaps the eggs hatched inside her body and ate her feces. Ah, it feels so good to share information with others!

Muerto

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I spotted this tag on the on-ramp in front of the main Juso Post Office. Although the tag is not especially ornate or eye catching, it's kind of special. Most of the graffiti has no artistic or meaningful relevance.

The great majority of the tags around Osaka that I have seen are just scribbles done (usually done with a paint pens) more for the sake of vandalization than creative self-expression. I have seen some amazing street art around Japan, but it tends to be kind of rare and hard to capture. I seem only to get brief glimpses of such work while riding in a car or train with my camera stowed away.

Yes, "Cruz" and "muertos" are misspelled, but this does nothing to diminish the sentiment carried by the words. I wonder if Cruz hung out with the people who run the Mexican restaurant near my apartment, and if one of the customers put it up in his honor.

Nippon no Burger Takumi Avocado Wasabi

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The Takumi Avocado Burger belongs to the Takumi genus in the Mos Burger Kingdom. Its contents, shown on this page as a diagram, consist of a Takumi bun, avocado slices, Takumi special sauce, a Takumi hamburger patty, Takumi avocado sauce, onions, tomatoes, lettuce, and a side of wasabi.

Unlike the meatloaf-like consistency of a real Mos Burger, the Takumi patties taste like a real beef patty from back home. The ingredients are fresh and result in a delicious burger, but at 880 yen the Avocado Takumi is overpriced and small by American standards. Despite the steep price and relatively small size, I'm glad that I ordered the Takumi.

It's the little touches that make it worth ordering the Nippon no Burger Takumi Avocado Wasabi at least once. It comes with a card, signed by the cook who made it, and the name of the farmer who's produce is used in the production of this burger, along with an explanation about the ingredients and the process of making a Takumi (not pictured).

With all of the reverence of serious religious ritual, the attendant sets up the customer for a special dining experience that is most unusual in a fast food restaurant. Mos Burger silverware exclusive to the Takumi are laid out, next to the burger, atop an indigo paper napkin that feels as if it were made of velvet instead of paper. A small cup holds a portion of freshly grated wasabi, giving the burger an earthier, more lively taste. It almost feels like sacrilege to actually eat the Takumi burger, but that makes it even more delicious.

So, will I order this burger again? No, even taking into consideration the wonderful experience of eating a Takumi it's just too expensive, and I can make a better burger myself. What will the ingredients be when I finally get around to barbecuing again?

100 percent beef patty (optionally mixed with chorizo)
cheese, preferably cheddar or jack (not fake Japanese cheese)
bacon
avocado (optional)
lettuce (optional)
grilled onions
tomato (optional)
grilled pineapple slice (optional)
teriyaki and hot sauce or mayonnaise, ketchup, and mustard
egg (optional)

My burger will be served on a paper towel or plate, and will kick some major Takumi ass! The wasabi was interesting, but unnecessary. What the takumi needed was some teriyaki sauce instead. The Japanese can improve on many things- cars, electronics, toilets with special functions- but the burger will always be something that Americans do best...

Fine Beaches

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Like a pair of Shisars to Okinawa, the guardian of Shirahama, Engetsu welcomes you upon arrival to the pristine beaches and bids farewell after a weekend of sand and surf. The snorkeling around this area is pretty good- better than Sumoto, but not quite as good as the Oita coastline in Kamae-machi.

If you ever are in Oita, I highly recommend visiting Kamae (here's a link to info Southern Oita). Not only are there some pretty cool cultural heritage sites, but the snorkeling and diving in front of the Marine Culture Center are awesome. They keep pens of yellowtails here (there is a successful aquaculture operation right out front), and you can swim among the escapees. I just wish I had brought a spear along, because they were schooling all around me.

The best thing about the Marine Culture Center is that you can swim with ocean Sunfish in their 100 M. salt water swimming pool during the spring. I didn't get to do this, but it sounds really cool. I don't remember the prices (and didn't pay because I went with my elementary school as a counselor on a school trip), but lodging is cheap. Also, you won't find any foreigners around here, as word hasn't gotten around yet (hopefully it stays that way).

Up here in Kansai, we don't have the luxury of being close to such wonderful beaches as Yonozu (in Oita), Ashikita and Amakusa (in Kumamoto), or the great spots along the Miyazaki and Kagoshima coast. There is Suma beach, but the water is the color of Oolong tea, and no one goes in it. The only reason people go to the local beach is to nampa.

As I said earlier, Shirahama is a nice beach, but it doesn't compare to the natural beaches of Kyushu. The sand is imported from Australia, so although nicely groomed, it isn't really natural, and it gets crowded at times. I like having a beach all to myself, but if you like nampa, this is the place.

Ironically, no one will go in the water before Umi no hi (Sea Day), so even if it is crowded, if you choose to go into the water you will have the ocean all to yourself. Why will no one go in the water before July 20th? I don't think even they know the reason themselves, but I am satisfied to know that, even if the sand is taken, the Sea is mine and mine alone before this day!

My Special Diet

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Getting really sick is not fun, but there is no diet that works better to help you lose weight and shed fat in a short period of time. During summer break, I did just that, but I am finally back in shape and almost 100 percent again. The hints of a six pack are starting to emerge in place of the pony keg from before. It's like I'm starting from scratch again with this body.

I've often thought about writing a book on my special diet method, but after considering the legal expenses that would be spent to pay off/dispose of/counter-litigate litigious opportunists, I have decided to post it for free, but take no responsibility if someone really does decide to follow my bad advice. Here it goes...

If you want to lose weight, forget those expensive, strict diets. Just get really sick, and watch the pounds just melt away. Your body will metabolize itself when you lose your appetite and stop eating, so you can save money on food too (although you will also lose strength and muscle in the process)! Just remember to have plenty of IV fluid handy, and you're set.

BTW, thanks to Justin and Nam for helping me to recover over the break. Had it not been for them, and more importantly the high calorie beer (it had been SO song since I had a porter), thai food, sandwiches,and piles of meat or meat products, I might have ended up looking like Ghandi.

Old Man Mike

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This has to be my best shot of a dog, ever. He looks so dignified with his melon rind. He didn't eat it, just held it in his mouth. It just seemed to comfort much like the way a pipe soothes an old man.

Urban lizards

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You wouldn't expect to find lizards in the city, but the hordes of insects that descend on Japan provide an abundance of food for them. Geckos and skinks (some of them black with rainbow stripes) hide under the brush and litter, or cling to the walls next to the lights waiting to ambush their prey that are drawn irresistably into harm's way.

These lizards are cool, but what Japan needs are giant lizards that eat cockroaches. That would be awesome.

Ordinary flowers in a rice paddy

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It's been a while since I've had a chance to go out into the country and photograph the things I like to photograph. I knew that my time in Kumamoto was special, but I really miss being able to jump in the car, explore a windy country road, and without fail, stumble upon something interesting. Kyushu is, without a doubt, the most interesting place that I?ve ever explored.

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Living one stop away from Umeda is convenient, and certainly less lonely than living in a small village, but I can feel myself getting mentally and spiritually fatigued by the crowds, the concrete, and from being away from nature. One symptom of this fatigue has been my dependence on my keitai camera (but this is also due to the wretched state of my Casio) to snap shots. I find myself no longer taking an afternoon to explore the unknown because it's a chore to cram into a train. I have fallen into a routine that I don?t like, but now that I see it changes will be made.

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It's time to start looking for the gems hidden among the coal, and explore Kansai during my time here. I'm setting out on a quest to peel away the ordinary to expose the extraordinary, little by little. I hope I can squeeze a little more out of my camera before it gives up the ghost.

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When living in the country, doing ordinary things like shopping or eating out was a task, but now that I have those things I almost prefer not having them. Almost, but when I think about the 30 minute drive to the closest convenience store and the 2 hour drive to the city, not quite.

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I took these pictures while strolling along the rice paddies in Ikaruga. Everyday weeds and wildflowers seemed so interesting after living among the highly stylized, contrived, industrial, man-made environment. Urban noise seems to really enhance one?s appreciation of nature, and just being outside helps to regain focus and clarity. It feels good just looking at these pictures.

In case it wasn't clear...

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...bulldozers are fun to jump off of, especially when executing the "victory cheer".

English through art

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I used to devote many lessons to making giant diaramas with my preschool and kintergarden students, having them create their own little worlds. We made scrolling landscapes of the country, the world, the city, a farm, the ocean, and other environments. By making their own little animals and things to fill their worlds with, the kids easily remembered the English and retained it to a higher extent than methods using TPS or conventional repetitive memorization activities (which actually have a negative effect on the developing attitudes of the students towards learning English in general). They showed a surprisingly high level of sustained concentration and motivation, rare at such a young age, and took pride in their work.

I got this idea from studying the philosophy behind Reggio Emilia, and designed the infrastructure of my lesson plans to pursue the interests of the students in order to engage and challenge them in such a way to help them realize their maximum potential.

Yes, this picture is simple and easy, but the thought that went into its conception, development, and construction took time and ultimately the approach that I took paid off. It's a delicate balance. If you challenge the students too much, they will develop a negative attitude towards education that may only be apparent after a few years. Yet, at such a young age allowing children to investigate their interests and enticing them to think independently can set these little ones on the right path and give them a head start.

Teaching such young children is a greater responsibility than I had ever imagined, and it was only after I taught for three years in Japan that I was able to fully appreciate the education that I received growing up. Good teachers are arguably the most under-appreciated members in society. This is true for both the U.S. and Japan (to a somewhat lesser extent, but the situation over here is getting worse with time).

Meditation Headshot

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It's me, pondering the mysteries of the universe.

My Crazy Older Brother

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What would you think if your older brother told you about his dream? I'm still shaking my head in disbelief...

Skull in the mud

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The water in a reservoir on Awajishima, where Justin and I usually go fishing, dropped by about 20 feet. Giant clams lay with their guts exposed, frozen gasping in death. Among the detritus exposed on the mudflats was this bleached deer skull (more skull pics here). Fittingly, we caught no fish on this day.

Legos imitate life

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Kicking back on a weekend.

Digging through the archives

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This week I will be going through pictures that I have taken over the last two years and posting a few. These may be the last "real" pictures that I post until I get a new camera, because my well-used Casio has taken such abuse over the two years that I have owned it that it is almost completely broken. Unlike the Man in Black there will be no Inigo Montoya or Fezzik to resurrect it from the clutches of death.

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A garden in Kyoto.

Rex

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For some reason, Rex has been running through my thoughts lately. I miss you, dude.

Ubuyama: The Saga Continues

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My "grand-successor", Ted Grudin, is keeping a blog in Ubuyama. I think that Ubuyama may be the best documented of any rural area in Kyushu, thanks to the progressive posts from this blog, Jane's, and Ted's. Cool. Keep up the posting, Ted...

A shift away from stocking trout

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It seems that the DFG is going to continue to cut back on stocking trout in the Sierras (here's the link). On top of this, trout are actually being removed from lakes to protect the threatened populations of yellow legged frogs.

I have fond memories of going fishing with our family, and coming home with a stringer full of trout. We caught so many rainbow trout that we frequently tossed them back. I remember being amazed that a farmed rainbow trout could be caught by using bubble gum as bait.

The new approach to balancing a healthy eco-system vs. the interests of anglers is a good change of policy, but I am glad that I was able to catch as many fish as I was able to (made up mostly of stocked trout). I look back at old pictures and just stare sometimes. How many jars of Potski's, garlic marshmallows, chartreuse Powerbait and containers of earthworms and nightcrawlers did we go through?

As I am writing this, I remember that I don't like the taste of trout and how laborious it is to pick out all of the bones, and the other issues that the catching of fish entails. For one, fishing was a good way of exploring the ethical implications and responsibilities inherent in taking an animal's life for sport. What ever we caught, we had to clean and eat- that was the rule.

Cleaning a still gasping trout was traumatic the first couple of times I did it. I learned to respect the fish that I caught, and only keep what I intended to eat from that point on. On that note, I think the last time that I ate a rainbow trout that I caught was when I was over 10 years ago. Like I said, it doesn't taste very good (unless it comes from cold water, or if it is coated in bread crumbs and fried in lemon butter if I remember correctly).

Hand Spider

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This fierce-looking arachnid is about the size of an eight year-old's hand. I'd love to see a face-off between a hand spider and a house centipede...

Ragondan Recipes

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Just in case you happen to have a chunk of Nutria meat in the fridge and don't know what to do with it, here are some recipes from The Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries. I wonder if capybaras are good eating too...

Good Luckistan

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Taro is headed to Uzbekistan tomorrow for two months. The CIA World Factbook states that "Current concerns include terrorism by Islamic militants, economic stagnation, and the curtailment of human rights and democratization.". Hmmm. Sounds kind of unpleasant and dangerous, but I hope he has a good time.

His mission amid the turmoil: to start up a tile exporting operation. Check out his blog to hear all about his experiences in this distant country. Stay safe, and see you in the Fall...

After Today

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One more day in the office, and then it's vacation!

Mutant spork

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This hybridized spatula/fork (I guess it would still be a spork) was used to dispatch some okonomiyaki at a restaraunt in Umeda. The rounded tines proved utterly useless. This is a design that is unfit among sporks and spatulas, thus is destined be selected out of the gene pool. However, the existance of this freak utensil will be preserved here, as a random image in the footnotes of obscure culinary history.

A Farewell to Disco Ass

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Mark Fingerhut, the last of our group to stay on the JET Program, is leaving Japan. He'll be off for two months, vagabonding around SE Asia, and I expect he will have some interesting posts to come over at Champon Adventures. Mark, It's been a blast- hopefully we can meet up in the States sometime for a special edition hash...

Japanese WWII Propaganda

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The color schemes used in Japanese propaganda work really well to romanticise the image of war, in all venues. The men pushing artillery through the jungle (not pictured), the arctic soldier, and the pilot all look so cool depicted as monochrome prints with the color imposed like a wood block print.

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In winter fatigues.

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An aviator.

Gunn in Japan

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Herman proves that a black man can indeed ski (though I am yet to see this in person). Stay tuned in to The Gunn Nihon Chronicles to see if he can snowboard as well...

Stay Cool

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Office Battleship Campaign

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Who knew that Excel spreadsheets could be such fun? I've been waging a naval war against Huw for four days, and the score is now 2/2. Today will result in glorious victory for one of us, and crushing defeat for the other.

Is Battleship really that fun? It is when you play with special weapons. Here's a list of the ships in our armada and the firepower that they're packing:

Aircraft carrier- 2 airstrikes. An airstrike takes out 9 blocks in a solid 3x3 chunk.

Battleship- 2 shotguns. A shotgun blast takes out 9 squares in a spread pattern.

Destroyer- 2 depth charges. A depth charge covers a 6x6 chunk, and if it touches the submarine, the submarine's location is revealed.

Submarine- 2 torpedoes. A torpedo can be shot across the length (from right to left, or from left to right) of the grid, or vertically along a column (from top to bottom, or from the bottom to the top). The torpedo will continue across the grid until it hits something, otherwise it will continue to the end of the grid.

PT Boat- 1 teleport. A boat can be teleported anywhere on the grid that hasn't been fired upon previously.

The special weapons are only viable as long as the ships to which they belong are still afloat.

By the way, Battleship: Special Weapons is only played during break time in case you were wondering. During working hours, we are diligently working to produce the best quality lesson plans in the greater Kansai area.

Brainstorming

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This is a new game I'm going to test out next semester.

An ALT-less Ubuyama

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The bright lights, fast pace of life, and massive crowds of people make visiting Osaka like visiting a foreign country for anyone who has lived a year or two in rural Kyushu.

My successor on the JET Program left for her home in Canada yesterday, ending a chapter of my stay in Japan. This was a special moment for us because I was the first one to introduce her to life in Japan, and one of the last to see her off.

It was interesting finding out how my former students are all doing, and hearing about her experiences. I think that all of us who go to Ubuyama as ALTs come away with very similar perspectives and memories. It was strange to be able to talk to someone who understood exactly what I was talking about, and vice versa. Ubuyama can be a very testing, lonely place to live, but it is undoubtedly a great place because of the people, especially the children.

So in a few days, the new ALT will move into the apartment that has sheltered 4 previous JETs and start his tenure without someone to be there to show him the ropes, though he has been thoroughly briefed by Jane. The old Civic, still running like a champ, is patiently waiting to be driven by its 5th foreign owner, surely a new Kumamoto record. I miss that car and driving those mountain roads even more than I thought I was going to!

I hear the new guy is from California, and that he requested a small community. Sounds like he's going to fit in well. I hope he takes good care of the kids.

I think that the JET Program is working especially well for Ubuyama, because the JETs have a visible effect on the attitudes of the students towards foreign cultures and learning English, as well as interacting with the community. From what I have seen, the children in this mountain village have purer minds and better values ingrained in them than the children in the city. As a result, their high levels of motivation and curiosity make teaching there a lot easier than the students in the city who exhibit classical signs of over-stimulation and inadequate parenting in general.

New Vocabulary

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Homodachi (n.)- two guys who are a little more than just tomodachi.

Hack the Beer?

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Open source beer!

Another link for today:
This is straight from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, except for slight fecal differences.

Abunai

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Spotted next to the Yodogawa river. What is the danger depicted on this sign? I don't know, but I don't think I'll be venturing into the water.

An air-tight quote

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Whoever gave this quote is a pro:

Asked to comment on the document, a senior British official, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said, "We do not discuss intelligence assessments."

Reading these words, I can almost see the look of utter disappointment on the reporter's face as he hears his informant tell him this after he agreed to keep the source anonymous. And then I see him thinking "Ah what the hell, I'll use it" even though it adds nothing to the article.

Quotes don't get much safer than that. Even if the source is revealed, who cares? On the reporter's side, no one would ever know if this quote was fabricated. If you think about it, this is really a great quote for everyone involved, except for those reading it.

On the blackboard

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This is part of what the students at my school study, when they're not sleeping, reading comics, applying make up (and it's not just the girls these days), drawing pornographic pictures, using their cell phones, or the various other extra-curricular activities that they pursue during class time. The students here work pretty hard outside at gardening and working the fields.

In the city, fresh and cheap are mutually exclusive qualities when one shops for produce. One of the benefits of working at this school is that I can buy fruits and vegetables at less than half of what they would cost in the supermarket. In addition, they also sell flowers, plants, and today they're selling kabutomushi (rhinocerous beetles). Not that I want to buy a beetle, even at a discounted price, but it's nice to know that the option is there.

River Griz

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A catfish the size of a Grizzly Bear (at 646 lbs.) that might set a new freshwater world record? I can't wait to fish the Mekong, and if I catch one of these it will not have to fear for its life. This fish ..."persists on plant matter and 'meditates' [in the deep, stony pools of the Mekong River]?somewhat like a Buddhist monk.", is endangered of going extinct, and it is reported to taste like any other wild catfish, in other words it tastes like mud.

Also in the article from National Geographic: dog-eating catfish- best catfish name ever (please, no Korean food jokes)! The walking catfish takes second and the electric catfish comes in at third.

The A-Bomb Challenged

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This research negates the widely held view that the U.S. was justified in dropping the A-bombs during WWII in order to save the lives of American soldiers:

...in his new book, "Racing the Enemy: Stalin, Truman, and the Surrender of Japan" (Harvard University Press), Tsuyoshi Hasegawa, a professor of history at the University of California, Santa Barbara, presents a broader view that the New York Times has called "a brilliant and definitive study of American, Soviet, and Japanese records of the last weeks of the war." Examining in detail the deliberations of the Japanese leadership immersed in squabbling over how to end the war with the emperor system intact, Hasegawa claims the bombs were not the most decisive factor in Japan's decision to end the war. Only when the Soviets, jockeying with the United States for post-war influence in Asia, declared war and invaded Japanese-held Manchuria did the Japanese leadership capitulate to prevent falling under Soviet dominance.

I remember back in middle school and high school we used to debate whether the U.S. was justified in using the Bomb on Japan. During these debates, the final word would always be something like "It was justified because it saved the lives of countless U.S. soldiers". If the main reason for the Japanese surrendering was because of their fear of being dominated by the Russians, then this argument loses a lot of its validity.

Nonetheless, I have a suspicion that the textbooks won?t be revised to reflect this view any time soon, and if it does, it will get a small paragraph like the one that mentioned the internment of Japanese-American citizens after the bombing of Pearl Harbor. Read the rest of the story here (via UCSB news).

Waaaankusta

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The tag says "Ore wa West Coast. Kimi wa?", or "I'm West Coast. You are?". Hahahahaha! Pshhhh! Silly, confused wannabe rabbit, Osaka ain't the West Coast. Everyone knows that Kyushu is the real West Side!

Don't pee on it!

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I have heard that applying urine to a jellyfish sting is the recommended treatment, but today at the discovery channel website, I read the following:

If you are ever unfortunate enough to get stung by a jellyfish, you'll have some small consolation in knowing that there is no need to add insult to injury by asking someone to pee on you. Experts recommend carefully scraping off any tentacles that have adhered to the skin and treating the sting with vinegar, baking soda, ice packs, salt water, hot water or even meat tenderizer ? but definitely NOT urine.

Personally, I've always let the effects of the stings wear off with time. They can be pretty painful and itchy, but this usually passes pretty quickly. To be clear, though, I've never been stung by a Sea Wasp or Portugese Man-of-War, and I'd probably not be content to just tough it out in those situations.

If I remember correctly, the reason why urine is supposed to be an effective treatment is that it contains ammonia. In the list above, I don't see amonia at all which makes me wonder if the whole urine treatment is the result of someone spewing out a whole lot of BS, or the result of a really twisted practical joke.

From what I can tell, the nematocysts (stinging cells) are proteins, and the best way to neutralize them is with something that would bind with or destroy them without further aggravating the wound. Perhaps that is why ammonia is not recommended- because applying ammonia would have an adverse effect, offsetting any of the benefits.

Feeling American

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It is easy to forget many of holidays that we celebrate in America when you are over seas. Holidays for the various presidents, Memorial Day, MLK Jr. Day, and even Easter and Thanksgiving have all passed unnoticed by me at one time or another. To be fair, it is really hard to get the necessary ingredients to make traditional holiday foods (Turkey, pumpkin pie mix, etc...) and if you do happen to get your hands on them, finding what you need to turn the ingredients into a proper feast (like an oven) can be an even larger pain in the ass. Mexican food has been made the de facto fare for all of the major holidays that I have celebrated with Justin (hey, pass me another Christmas taco, chingaaaado!).

One holiday that I have observed without fail since coming to Japan has been the 4th of July. I think all Americans should spend an extended time away from America so that they can truly appreciate how good we have it back home. It's easy to list off the areas in which other countries are better than America when you haven't experienced first hand the areas in which other countries are not. Eating cold fish and natto for breakfast would put most Americans in the right mood to appreciate the good things about our country, especially after having to eat it with some rude bastard blowing smoke in your face (it is the non-smokers who are generally put into the special areas over here, often not the other way around).

Although I can't celebrate the 4th properly (meaning going out to a bar with Matt, the Fingerhuts, Joe, etc... to go sing some true American karaoke), I think I'll go out by the Yodogawa river and shoot off some fireworks after I finish work, unless this miserable rain continues. In any case, I will be thinking about how much I really do appreciate being an American through out the day. Happy 4th of July.

Retroflakes

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I can't prove it, but I think there's a good chance that this is the same packaging that Kellogg's used when Episode IV first came out. Wait, no... There would have been a toy enclosed inside if that was the case. I forgot that all breakfast cereals used to include a special toy that we would fight to get when the box was first opened.

The unspoken rule was that all of the cereal from the previous box had to be finished before the new box was breached, so the strategy to prevent someone else from being the first was to leave more cereal than one person could consume in one sitting. Of course, the limits of gastronomical endurance were pushed to the threshold, and calculations of who could eat how much had to be adjusted and given further consideration. Add secret alliances, deception, and treaties to the mix, and you can see how complicated the simple activity of eating cereal could be.

Of course, someone always eventually called on the parents to make things "fair", or older siblings would just invoke "might vs. right". Perhaps it was the ugliness of humanity that surfaced due to competition over who had right to the toy that forced the cereal companies to stop including them in the packaging. Nah, on second thought I think they're just cheapskates.

The worst part of the transition to the no-toys-included state of cereal today is that they printed lame masks, coloring sheets, and activities on the back to try and compromise. I think that was even more disappointing than not having anything at all.

Sounds like cyberpunk

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From the moment I first saw the video Clint Eastwood on MTV, I was hooked on the Gorillaz (here's a great interview from Wired). It was amazing to hear a band that didn't really exist play music that spiced and grafted genres, resulting in a Frankenstein-like album. The band was much more versatile than any other band could ever be, because they became whatever their creators wanted them to become without anyone's ego getting in the way. At the end of the day, they only exist as pictures and sounds.

The album has the same kind of magic that A Young Lady's Illustrated Primer, a supercomputer from the book The Diamond Age that is designed to teach personalized independent thinking and uses actor-like technicians to watch over and educate their client, has.

The characters in both forms of media are fictional, but real people are lending their talents to flesh out the personalities that they portray in both cases (in static and real-time formats). It is ironic that these contrived characters and groups have a more profound effect on their audiences than their "real" equivalents.

So are the Gorillaz an anomoly, or will more virtual bands gradually start to take over?

Brian and Rebecca

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It seems like a lot of people that I know are either getting engaged or married these days. On this coming weekend (Saturday, July 2nd, 2005), Brian and Rebecca will finally get hitched after being together for (correct me if I'm wrong) about six years.

These two met each other in a room in Anacapa. I think it might have been one of those nights where Brian and I lugged my mini TV and VCR deck all the way from San Nicholas, so that we could watch a movie and have a drink away from the freaks in our dorm (not to say that we weren't freaks, or that the people that we were hanging out with weren't either).

After the Doctor Pepper mixed with Jose Cuervo and the pizza ran out, I think we all noticed a subtle difference in the way Becky (as we called her back then) looked at Brian, and the way that he avoided making eye contact with her. I am not saying this to poke fun in any way, but it was truly a precious moment.

From the very beginning, their relationship already looked kind of like they were already married. They shared hobbies (I still can't wrap my head around how, exactly, Brian got Rebecca to get interested in the card game Magic: The Gathering...), helped eachother to study, and always worked things out in a fairly peaceful and balanced manner.

I am happy to say that their relationship is proceeding like I thought it would. Nothing seems to have changed too much from how things started with these two, and for that I am comforted. It is said that life changes after you get married, but this relationship might just be the exception to the rule.

Congratulations Brian and Rebecca. I wish I could be there in person to celebrate your wedding, but know that I will be celebrating here in my own special way. I still haven't decided whether to toast you over Long Island Iced Teas, Hurricaine Punch, or a nice warm can of Natty Ice...

There are some great photos and accounts of traveling around Amakusa (the islands off of Kumamoto) on Gumbies, maintained by Leanne and Rik Brezina. Amakusa is a beautiful place, and I wish that I had more time and a sea-kayak, so that I could better explore it like these two.

Being away from Kumamoto has made me realize what an awesome place it is. I appreciated living in Kumamoto, but I love the place even more now that I'm away. Don't get me wrong, Kansai is a great place too, but Kyushu would be the place where I would want to settle down and live out the rest of my days.

So those of you who are still in Kumamoto, remember to enjoy your time there. Outside of Kyushu, it is hard to find a good tonkotsu, well-prepared basashi, or a nice loaf of karashi renkon. Go out into Aso and enjoy hiking up the magestic mountains, or diving off of boulders and waterfalls in Kikuchi gorge.

Get out to the beach in Amakusa, or Ashikita, and get a tan- remember that the red jellyfish are the ones that hurt. Throw barbecues outside with your friends as much as you can, and bring enough fireworks and some extra.

Make sure that you explore all of those random roads that you always pass, but never seem to have the motivation to turn off and pursue. Just make sure you have enough juice in your keitai in case something goes wrong... It will make for a good story later on, I promise.

I did all of those things, and have no regrets- only fond memories of making the most of my time during the last days I spent in Kumamoto. I will return.

Looking up

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It was a special day in class when my first grade teacher brought a TV into class, and told us that we were going to watch something historical on this day. She pulled the knob, the picture on the tube sprung from a white point, boinging out first vertically and then horizontally, reverberating with a static crackle until the image of the Challenger came onto the screen.

The muffled countdown from Mission Control coupled with the image of Challenger's rockets belching out flame and steam were burned into my young mind. It seemed to take the rocket forever to finally break away from the ground, and it ascended slowly and gracefully, unlike the rockets I had seen in Bugs Bunny cartoons. And as the teacher began a class discussion on the significance of the Challenger mission, it blew up into a billion pieces like the Death Star. I don't remember anything after that.

That was a truly sad day, and I think it may have traumatized our teacher more than it did my class, for I don't think that we were old enough to truly comprehend the concept of death, or the significance of the multi-ethnic crew who were only just embarking on a truly special mission aboard the Challenger. Challenger, and other space programs of that time, sparked my imagination and got me interested into science and science fiction in general.

I remember reading books on how Mars was going to be transformed into another Earth, and to a five year-old, it seemed plausable that this was going to happen well before the year 2000. As time passed, the space program fell into the limelight. Most of the projects from the space program were not well publicized, government funding was at a low point, and the exciting space program became a vague memory.

But this has all started to change from relatively recently. A meteor from Mars was found to have microscopic structures bearing a strong resemblance to single cell organisms, reviving the debate as to whether Mars is, was, or will eventually be capable of supporting life. Probes have been sending back tantalizing images and information about Mars and the moons of Jupiter among other areas around our solar system. Scaled Composites won the race to space among private developers of space vehicles. Solar sails are being deployed by non-governmental agencies, more than a hand full of companies are developing plans to make space flight available to those who can afford to pay, and plans to get space hotels up and running by 2010 are being worked on.

It seems that the momentum for space exploration has regained its rightful place in the government's and the public's interest. This is a long-term goal, that will be a never-ending project. It is something that transcends all political boundaries, ethnic, and for that matter, all of the boundaries created by man and society. It cannot be comprehended by conventional scales of measurement that we are used to thinking with. Space exploration and colonization is a good metaphor for the road to the enlightenment.

And it's just cool to think about all of the cool methods of ultra-fast travel, BFGs, and other hi-tech stuff that is fiction right now will likely materialize sooner than we may expect.

Amadai

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This was a cool looking fish. It looked as if it had something to say.

For some reason, it reminds me of story about the magic fish who grants the old fisherman 3 wishes in exchange for tossing him back in to the sea.

Except that I know for a fact that this fish was delicious.

Prosthetic THO

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I wonder if they come in assorted flavors...

Running on ethanol

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While the US struggles with the question "should we replace MTBE in our gas with ethanol?" Brazil is using it as fuel for their automobiles instead of an additive. Their cars run on Pinga!

It's not a question of whether we will convert to a hydrogen economy instead of a petroleum based one, but when. It will be great to see the day when petroleum, coal, and other fossil feuls become unnecessary for every day life.

It's strange to think about, but pretty much all the energy that we harness is essentially solar energy. Plants that took eons to change into petroleum and coal were fueled by the sun. The same thing applies to the corn and sugar cane from which ethanol is distilled. Wind (and hydroelectric, via evaporation and precipitation) is generated from the sun's energy. Geologic and nuclear are pretty much the only extra-solar sources of energy that we are tapping, and they really don't account for much.

Art that rings true

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This silkscreen painting is hung in the corridors, across from the teachers' office. "A world where the stronger prey upon the weaker.". In this setting, the words are true in so many ways.

The third year students will graduate this coming December. Most of them have no idea what they want to do, other than satisfy their immediate urges and act on impulses. They can get away with it for now, but many are going to be in for a big shock when they finish school and find that employers and co-workers aren't going to put up with their nonsense.

I was told that some students come to school for the sole purpose of getting into fights with other students. You can tell who the thugs are, but so far I haven't seen any violence. However, disrespect, laziness, and Attention Deficit Disorder are things I see in bulk here every day. You have to be a predator in this environment and assert yourself, or they'll eat you alive. Some of the teachers here didn't learn this, and you can see how it has shaped them into wraiths of their former selves.

This painting is the first thing I see when I climb the stairs each morning. As if on cue, the drum and bass from "Built for the Kill" loads in my head and gets me ready for the day. If I get cornered, I'm not going out like a Thompson's gazelle. I'll go hippo on their ass.

Carabiners and a squeegee

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Walking into work today, I saw this and felt envious of the guy cleaning the windows. This is a janatorial job, but who cares if you get to swing around on a rope on a tall building in downtown Namba?

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I'm sure that this job is not as romantic as it seems, but seeing him swing by my desk like Tarzan on a vine is urging me to jump out the window and rappel out of this office, so that I can escape into the urban jungle and enjoy this hot and humid Friday.

General Lee's Chinky Ramen

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The quintessential Chink stereotype is so much more offensive over here than it is back in the States. This sign is overtly racist. It is strangely ironic that the Japanese image of Chinese is not too different from the ignorant, malignant image that non-Asian Americans developed of the Japanese right after Pearl Harbor was bombed.

It can be quite jolting to hear remarks and questions about race in Japan. Words that would lead to a fight or at least draw negative attention to the person who said them are considered O.K, and often are a source of amusement.

For example, a Japanese friend asked another friend from the UK "What part of Africa are you from?" merely because she was black. We kind of cringed, and she explained that she was from England, but everyone else who was present (aside from someone who has a good understanding of foreign cultures- he laughed because it was such a ridiculous situation) seemed to think that this was quite a reasonable question.

It's crazy to see the perceptions that Japanese society at large has developed about all things outside of Japan. Being politically correct isn't even an issue over here. Sambo, SAMBO, is still a popular character over here!

But foreigners are guilty of it too. They use racial slurs without realizing it and if you call them on it they are either unapologetic about it or pay lip service that they didn't know that what they're saying is offensive. How many times have I heard the term "Jap" being casually tossed around over here? Sometimes you have to talk like Chris Rock around those who don?t see why it is wrong to say ?Jap?, ?oriental?, or any other slur, and use ?whitey? and ?cracka? for people to get the point. This country just seems to bring out the racism in those who live here.

I have heard the argument that this is a strictly American point of view, but I don?t buy that crap. Just because others are doing something that they don?t think is wrong doesn?t make it right. I?m not going to equate being a Nazi with those who think it?s alright to use racial slurs, but I will go as far as to point out a correlation in this type of flawed logic.

More thoughts on teaching

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If you think about it, a classroom is kind of like a laboratory and the students are each little subjects in a huge experiment. Each student has a different mixture of natural ability, motivation, learning disabilities, potential, etc. Many things can affect these variables to increase or decrease, whether it be through encouragement or discouragement, exercise or laxness, reward or punishment, or any number of other factors. It is the teachers who have the most control over these factors.

I am often told that my school is the worst of the low level schools, and that there are many schools like this school. Problems here are not unique to my situation. There is a great flaw in the master educational plan, and it is not being addressed.

One thing that is alarming to see is that there are no young teachers at this school. Apparently, this is a problem right now. Schools are filling up with older teachers, many of whom seem to share certain characteristics. They are generally:

*over 40, and more commonly belong to the older segment of the age spectrum

*have long ago lost their interest in teaching

*view the kids as ?hopeless? and give up on the class as a whole
don?t bother with discipline

*think that instilling character and morals into the students is important, but believe that they can?t do anything about it themselves

*resort to keeping the students busy instead of challenging them

*feel pressure to improve their class test scores, rather than creating engaging lesson plans

*do as little as possible in order to fulfill the requirements of the job

*are unsatisfied with the system, but feel that they are helpless to change it or make a real difference (which is accurate in many cases)

The young people that I do know who are teaching or are planning to become teachers are all struggling with the question ?Do I really want to become a teacher??. One friend has only been teaching since April, and he already wants to change careers as soon as possible. As a new teacher, he is delegated the menial tasks, and obligated to work long hours every day (a twelve hour shift is not unusual), forfeiting his weekends in order to oversee extra-curricular clubs or to coach the sports teams. School has become his life and understandably he wants time to relax, pursue his hobbies and interests, and just to get away from the school environment once in a while. He doesn?t even have time to go on dates anymore.

One of the assistant teachers in our school is clearly over-qualified for the position, but is yet to be given any responsibility. Despite having a teaching license, a better command of the English language than most JTEs (Japanese Teachers of English), and having taught here for 15 years, she runs copies for the teachers and has been given the informal job as a student counselor (a job which she has not been trained for, and that the teachers don?t want to do themselves). She wanted to become a teacher, but is having serious doubts after watching what has happened to the many teachers who have passed through this school in the past decade and a half. She thinks she might just keep on being an assistant teacher because they don?t have as much responsibility and the pay and benefits are pretty good.

Thinking about these issues has made me think about Governor Schwartzenegger?s intent to cut California?s budget by changing how teachers get pay raises and promotions. It sounds good in theory, for tenure to be awarded based on a meritocracy instead of seniority. I can still remember having my time wasted in class by tenured teachers who were just there for the paycheck, and feeling that something should be done about this. I have that same feeling when I think about some of the teachers that I work with that aren?t pulling their weight, although I should say that most of them are doing their best to meet the challenges of teaching.

I have long been interested in teaching, and although I still enjoy it I don?t think I will pursue it as a career as I had previously thought. The rewards of teaching are great and give me the feeling that I am making a tangible difference in the lives of my students. However, the externalities (unconventional costs) of teaching outweigh the benefits for me, personally. Here is a job that requires the utmost dedication to develop a group of impressionable, malleable kids into responsible and informed adults who can think independently and challenge themselves and others around them. What it comes down to is that I want my students to be better people after I teach them. If I can achieve this goal, then I will be content.

I think I would greater enjoy doing this on my spare time as a mentor or volunteer. After a day teaching at this school, I feel like I?ve been spread too thin and that I am not making a real impact on anyone?s life. I find myself compromising my goals and expectations past what I am comfortable with. One year in this school is fine, but if I were here for ten years I think might turn into the type of teacher that just shows up at work, counting the days until retirement.

Kazan

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Not for the faint of heart, the volcano is a very strong, very disgusting drink that Justin introduced me to at Bill's Bar, when I visited him six years ago in Nara. It is a Spirytus vodka (150 proof) concoction with peach schnapps and Baileys (correct me if I'm wrong, or better yet post the recipe in the comments). You light it on fire and blow it out, swish the unpleasantly warm mixture in your mouth, and down it in one go. I have to say for the record that I prefer taking shots Crown Royal, or even Bacardi 151, to having to deal with one of these.

It took me a while to admit this, even to myself, but I can not keep this drink down. Lets examine a few cases to illustrate my point:

Six years ago, I went out drinking with my cousin Sion (or is it Shawn now?) and Justin as I was getting over the flu. After drinking a volcano and a few more drinks, we drove up to Tenri Dam to go shoot off some fireworks. I was resting in the car when Nam came to check on me. "Are you OK?" she was asking as I replied, by puking all over her shoes. I think she's still traumatized.

Last year, I went out to Bill's bar with Justin and my cousin Tate where I snapped these pictures. Although Bill, Justin, and Tate didn't appear to savor the taste of the volcanoes, I was the only one who rushed to the bowl and projectile vomited some partially digested yakitori (which was delicious, I might add!).

Although I have on one or two occasions been able to keep a volcano down, there is strong evidence that illustrates a connection between me imbibing a volcano and me tossing the cookies. In my college days, I would have trained my body so that I could handle a volcano, and challenged any takers. I am thankful that I am no longer such a dumbass in this regard, and instead I concede defeat to this most evil of evil drinks.
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To my Bro and Nam

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Digging through the photo archive, I came across this picture of Justin and Nam, taken in front of the Akashi Bridge on Awaji Island on a beautiful day. I think it serves well as a tribute to these two who have been dating since I was in JHS, and who only recently got engaged in Thailand during Golden Week. It was about friggin' time already... Good luck and congratulations.

Retiring the CaCO3

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It would be cool to have access to one of these. Think of the possibilites in the classroom. Think of how the kids would be engaged in the lesson. Think of what you could achieve... Look kids, boobies! Seriously, I want one of these.

Fish Tales

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Ah, I always find strange things walking through the neighborhood of Juso. For those visiting Juso, the lively shotengai with its bustling mom and pop stores, or the abundance of strip clubs, snack bars, pr0n theatres, and assorted Soap Land affiliated businesses are the things that stick out and burn themselves into their synaptic impressions. But it is on the side streets, down the hidden alleyways that you'll find the truly unexpected and interesting things.

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This is a picture of boards to which drying fish fins are affixed, and next to them (out of frame) was another board on which lengths of fish skin were stretched to dry.

The boards struck me as a rather macabre presentation of what I assume to be a food product. Somehow, this display of fish parts strikes me as a sort of trophy wall, and I imagine that the owner is quite proud of his collection and shows it off whenever he gets the opportunity to.

Mountain Monkey Showdown

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Monkey-related posts always make for interesting reading:

...Anyway suddenly her cell phone rings and I can tell by her tone and face that something not so good has happened. I was right, she hangs up and looks at me with the most serious of faces and says 'I have to go, mountain monkeys have attacked my parents country house.'...

Read the rest here on Jane's journal under the entry "The moral of the story is...." (as of right now, it's three posts down).

Too much shochu?

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A real Kyushu danshi would say, there's no such thing as too much shochu. Well, Mark has written a post with a picture, that I didn't know existed up until today, that makes a powerful case against downing a bottle of shochu as fast as you can, especially if you are attending a night time hanami party in front of Kumamoto Castle.

With the sounds of 50 bumping from our ghetto blaster, I drank too much, too fast. The next thing I knew, I was persuaded to test my martial skills against the scantily clad natives. The shochu numbed my concerns, and I was cheared on until I felt victory was assured.

But my head swam as I was thrown to the ground. As hard as I tried, I was unable to beat the salarymen in front of Kumamoto Castle in sumo, and I walked away in disgrace with a limp and some blood on my khakis.

So know I know the rules, and should the opportunity present itself once again I will do better. First, I'm going to yank on the leopard print until it gets driven into the deepest of crevices with an Atomic wedgie.

If that doesn't work I'm going to kick him in the nuts, repeatedly. I have learned my lesson well. Next time its no mercy...

The Legend of the Pubic Office

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Over several whisky and waters and beers, my predecessor on the JET program in Ubuyama-mura, Mr. Harvey Haynes, had passed down the sacred lore of the pubic office sign. A sad look clouded his eyes when he told me that it had been fixed, for although he had never told anyone else in the village what it meant (he was one of the Chosen, who could wield the English language with ease, while others trembled in fear of its practice, and relied on him to deal with all English-related matters), one day it had been usurped and ousted by a sign reading ?Public Office?.

For the two years I was stationed in Ubuyama I searched for this sign, although I knew that it no longer existed. I told friends about it often, and although many had searched, no one could find it. My two years in Ubuyama passed, and I had given up on ever seeing it in this lifetime, other than through Harvey's words.

Imagine my surprise when Jane McMahon, my successor in Ubuyama (soon to be leaving for Canada), sent me this excellent picture. This awesome sign does exist, but like any legendary artifact worth preserving its location will be secret so that it will remain proudly standing on its home, helpfully pointing the way to the Ubuyama Village Pubic Office for those who are seeking it.

Warning Signs

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Sometimes the best way to say it is to wear it...

Then again, sometimes it's better to keep things private and seek help in a more discreet manner.

Honorary Gaucho

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This dude must have gone to UCSB.

Neglected Students

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I'm troubled on how to best teach my classes, both for myself and for the students. Today, the teachers told me that it is not uncommon for my high schoolers to have trouble distinguishing Bs from Ds (both upper and lower case), and that they don't remember words. Some of them can only remember the order of the ABCs because they have never developed the ability to use letters like building blocks. Forget about pronunciation, they told me.

There is something seriously wrong with kids being forced to learn stuff that they have no interest in or use for. Even if I do bust my ass working on a great lesson, most of them will not appreciate it, because they will be sleeping or in their own little worlds.

It's really scary to think that I can't even use the same elementary school lessons in high school because they're too advanced, and the high schoolers are harder to control. I don't think anyone will be able to convince me that the education system in Japan is better than ours back in the U.S..

Their time and the educational funding would be better used teaching the kids what they need to know for life after high school. Classes in parenting and birth control, time and money management, and trade skills that they can use in the real world are what they really need. I can see that many of them are destined to go through much suffering, because they will not be adequately prepared for their futures (the seniors are graduating in December).

It's too depressing to think about the education program as a whole in Japan, pertaining to teaching English. After shogakko, the majority of the students will develop a distaste for English, and will be conditioned to lose their self-confidence. I shudder to think what will happen when standardized English lessons will be implemented across Japan in a few years. It could make things better, but the track record suggests otherwise.

Unconventional Lessons

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I'm trying to come up with as many different games to play with the kids as possible so that I'm not stuck in the classroom with a room full of people that don't want to be there, and for the times when we must use the classroom, I am trying to plan unconventionally.

This week, I am going to teach the kids about streetball by using the And1 Mixtape and other DVDs. I'll try and give them a peek into basketball culture and about stories of hope and despair like those seen in "Hoop Dreams".

Today I took the students out to sketch and label some plants (a tree, flower, leaf, etc...), and they seemed to do pretty well.

Right now I'm planning a lesson themed "Your dream house". I'm going to print out a huge copy of Bongo's Dream House with Japanese written under the English labels, and let the kids take most of a class to draw and label their own. By the way, this page has a bunch of Groening's "Life in Hell" pages- they bring back so many memories.

Ultimately, I would like to do some of my classes using the pool, and teaching games that I used to play as a kid, but at the moment this is just a pie in the sky. I am the only ALT I know who has successfully persuaded a school (in my case a couple of schools) to allow me to teach sports lessons and to use the gym.

Unfortunately, desinging lessons like these leads to great expectations from the students and teachers alike. I can make some pretty good, unconventional lessons, but with limited resources, a great demand for lessons (3 separate lessons PER WEEK), and disinterested students, there is only so much I can do. There will come a time when my tank runs out, and all that will be left are worksheets.

So I am trying to space out these special lessons, but even so it is difficult.

This originally started as a joke, but I'm toying with the idea of one lesson devoted to "quiet time". I want to make a lesson on "meditation", with the goal of "achieving inner peace" and "enhancing concentration". The class will be quiet for the whole stretch, and maybe they'll get something out of it (a nice rest). If this lesson goes well, then I might implement "nap time" every class for 20 minutes, and ask if we can have juice and cookies for the students.

Oh, and dodgeball!!! Now that I think of it, regular class would be a great time to play this great sport. I think I'm going to allow head shots, purely for (my own personal) entertainment value.

News that matters

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I really enjoy reading the Daily Mainichi's WaiWai page. There is always an interesting story about some obscure segment of Japanese society to contemplate. Some of the stories here are just too strange and twisted to be contrived.

For example, It is easy to see why and how an immoral doctor would prey upon a man's ignorance about circumcision and penile health in order to take him for all he?s worth, but why the hell would adult men get circumcised if their health or religion doesn't require it?

If I had a friend who ran into this problem, I don't think I would be capable of sympathizing with him. Stupidity of that magnitude is a cry that one is not mentally fit enough to survive.

A Toast to Chris and Sarah!

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(These life jacket-wearing dogs will be walking the plank of holy matrimony on Saturday, they will! Yaaarrrrr!!)

Of the five of us who lived in that broken down Sabado Tarde apartment, drinking beer by the keg, chilling while grilling lunch and dinner over a Webber, and generally living a life of debauchery while going to UCSB, I wouldn't have imagined that you would be the last to leave Isla Vista. Nor would I think that you would be the one to be caught with his pants down by the I.V. foot patrol. Those guys can be such bastards!

I am glad, and also relieved, that things have worked out for you. It's probably a good thing that you veered from your original goal of becoming a doctor. Had you abstained from partying and taken that route, you very well might have ended up with a psycho girlfriend, working so much that you would have no chance of enjoying life. When I hear about how you are living back it makes me happy, and a bit envious. I see a young couple, full of hopes and dreams (I couldn't resist these cliches) ready to embark on a long, happy journey together:

5/13/05 - I realized last Wednesday, as we paid for the cake via cell phone in a car speeding towards an event in Montecito, that this is all definitely going to happen. I'm excited and a bit nervous - not that I'll forget my lines or my black socks or the rings or anything - just that feeling that my life will forever change towards something better. Something more complete, something richer than pizza and beer on a Friday evening. Something with children and hopes and dreams and futures and a certain amount of solidity that my bachelor life did not have.

I read these words, and all of a sudden, old and previously forgotten snippets of "The Wonder Years" mixed with "The Graduate" start to mix and play in my mind. I can hear the words as narrated by an older, nostalgic Kevin Arnold, with a Simon and Garfunkel song gently playing in the background. In this context, Pete would have to be Paul, Winnie could kind of be Ranya, and Wayne would be a composite of me, Steve, and Brian.

I think you're right in thinking that you're life is going to get better as a result of marrying Sarah. You wisely have taken the time to get to know each other, and are proceeding with confidence. I think that your life will change from being beer and pizza on a Friday night, to the deluxe pack that comes with wild bread, cinnamon bread, and a two liter bottle of Pepsi, along with a special barbecue delivery from Woody's, spent in front of a home theatre system. Enjoy this while you can, because it?s going to start getting expensive when you start having kids, and you're going to have to watch Disney movies over and over on your widescreen TV?

On Saturday, when you are getting married, along with friends and family, I will join in the celebration in my own humble way. I will raise my glass, filled with something other than Crown Royal and toast you, Sara, and to your future together as Mr. and Mrs. Dillingham (or is it to be Dempsey? ah, technicalities).

Have an awesome wedding(T-minus 1 day, 15 hours, and 57 minutes) and enjoy your long-anticipated honeymoon. Congratulations, and the best of luck!

Kujira ryouri

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Minke whale curry is on sale now in the bargain bins at Don Quixote for only 1,029 yen. Supplies are limited (only 2 cans left), so don't miss out on your chance to dine on stewed cetacean! Get it before they go extinct (nah, they're not endangered, but that doesn't make it right)!

This is one of the few foods I refuse to eat, not because it is prohibitively expensive, but because it sucks to support the harvest of rare plants and animals. On top of that, it just doesn't look like it would taste that good (certainly not worth the "discount" price of 1,029 yen).

Now check out this other whale meat product from Toretore Ichiba in Wakayama:

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All that's missing for a proper breakfast is a side of scrambled loggerhead turtle eggs. I wonder if you are supposed to fry this stuff up like bacon, eat it raw, roast it, or stew it. In any case it sounds disgusting, not unlike tongue loaf.

Home of the Gods

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When you gaze upon the mesmerizing beauty of Nachi waterfall, you can understand why this area is holy ground for Japan's animistic roots. At 133 meters tall, this is the mother of all waterfalls in Japan. I think that standing under the pounding streams of Nachi can probably dislocate one's ribs and joints, so even if it were possible to climb down under the waterfall I was content merely to observe the water in motion and to feel the cool mist on my face.

In terms of natural beauty, I would have to rank Wakayama at the top along with my favorites in Kyushu including the Aso area, Kagoshima (around Kaimon-dake), Saga (especially around Karatsu), Oita (the Kuju area and the coastline), Miyazaki (around the gorge and beaches), and of course Okinawa. Shirahama beach has crystal clear water, an onsen carved out of the coastal rocks where you can feel the sea spray of the waves as they crash, and a long stretch of white sand (although this, I am told, is imported from Australia).

It is also said that the mountains in Wakayama look like broccoli. This is because they are covered in a nice variation of foliage and trees and give the hilly landscape a bumpy, mottled appearance, as opposed to the landscape of the usual evergreen monoculture (of cedar) that has unfortunately replaced most of Japan's natural forests. The mix of deciduous, broad leafed trees, bamboo, pine trees, and other native plants is easy to look at.

How it really happened

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Damn you Obi-wan, I can see your blue glow from behind that tree- come out from there!

"You must go to Dagobah to find the great Jedi master, Yoda." you said. All that's here on this cursed mud hole is a geriatric muppet who taunts me, making me carry him around on my back. Stop laughing, you dick.

You better have an idea on how to get my X-wing out of that bog, and I better not hear any of that "try using the force" crap! I should have never left Tatooine with you crackheads!

Pensions and Mansions

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Currently I am living in a mansion in Osaka. It is probably around 200 square feet and includes a bathroom, kitchenette/dining cubicle, a tiny patio, and living room/bedroom. There are no butlers in my mansion, and the people who live in the mansions around me typically ride the train or bicycles, and work as English teachers. No a mansion in Japan is not the same thing as a mansion in the western world.

When I was first told that we were going to a pension, I had no idea what my Japanese friends were talking about. Unlike the pension plan, which is a pain in the ass, pensions are quite pleasant. I guess the pension would best be described as a family run hotel.

Of the pensions I have stayed at, the Starry Pension in Aso-machi (Kumamoto-ken) and Zion in Hakuba (Nagano-ken) are my favorites. The rooms have a nice, cozy feeling. As opposed to the hermetically-sealed and sterile vibe in regular hotels, the accommodations are clean but lend the feeling that you are home away from home.

At both of these pensions the food is first-class. Both places serve up European-style multi-course dinner sets and continental breakfasts. The meals are delicious and served in large proportions. They're a nice break if you've been subsisting on fish, rice, tsukemono, and other traditional Japanese foods. My favorite would have to be the bacon-wrapped filet mignon at Zion, and the lasagna-like tofu gratin at Starry.

The surrounding areas around these pensions are awesome if you enjoy getting out into nature. I think one of the best times to visit these mountainous regions is during the middle of summer, when your shoes fuse to the asphalt in the cities of Japan.

Starry is right at the base of Aso Mountain, and you can a number of activities from this central location such as hiking, golfing, paragliding, sight seeing, driving, or onsen hopping. They also have three family-style onsens that you can relax in- one of them offers a view of the starry skies above (the stars are amazingly clear in both Aso and Hakuba).

Zion is a terrific place, and has many of the same type of activities that the Aso area has to offer. Arguably, the best part about Hakuba is the skiing and snowboarding resorts. 47 is within 15 minutes by car, and you can walk to Happo.

I think the part that I enjoyed the most about staying at the pensions was interacting with the people who worked at these places, and talking with other people on vacation. It's always nice to sit around the hearth with a nice frosty beer and to chat when everyone is on vacation. The people who run these pensions enjoy providing good service to their guests, and the regulars develop a close relationship. Because of this, everything is much more relaxed and staying at a pension is a much more intimate experience than staying in a hotel.

Hungry Demon Jinja

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This morning I had some extra time to burn before going into work, so I decided to walk around the neighborhood. I found this awesome shrine a block away, and made offerings to the giant head.

It felt as if I had entered the world of Big Trouble in Little China, but Egg was nowhere to be found. I did, however, feel that I could see things that no one else can see, and do things that no one else can do.

Around the school

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If you only glimpsed at the school grounds (not the facilities within the school building), you would be under the impression that this high school is a wonderful place. There are massive gardens, hot houses where flowers, fruit, and produce are cultivated, fields planted with a variety of crops, ponds, landscaping displays, fountains, copses of various trees, groves, hedges, flower beds, a ton of potted plants, and on an equally vast amount of land is where all of the tools and materials necessary to make and maintain these grounds are contained.

In the garden (which could really be called a park, because it isn't really that small), there is a large pond, complete with birds of all kinds, and other wildlife. Every lunch break at this school is spent outdoors, among the nature. It is during this time when I am truly able to relax, and achieve clarity of mind. It is here where I can coalesce my ideas into working lesson plans.

Outdoor lessons sound pretty good to me, but that's because I'm not out in the fields with a hoe, spreading manure around in the hot sun. However, watching the students working towards achieving something tangible- watching them work so hard at clipping hedges, cleaning their tools, using surveying equipment, and working in the fields is making me want to keep them busy in a similar way. I saw no cell phones out, no students applying make up, no one reading manga, and although they were chattering it didn't matter because they could do two things at one time.

For a low-level school, the surrounding school grounds are among the best I've seen at any type of school. It's just the facilities inside of the school building that suck.

Japan is in trouble

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My students are good kids, albeit not very good students, and they could have turned out much differently had they been raised in a better system and given more attention to their personal needs. They have been raised as part of the same kumi (group) for most of their life, and brought up in misguided social environment where the needs of the individual are neglected by the educational institution which instead grades and labels the groups much like eggs in the supermarket. In this school, any spark of interest that they may have had in all of their subjects has been mostly extinguished and coated with fire retardant. They have a belief that they can't accomplish even the simplest of tasks because that's the way it has been for many of them for most of their school lives. Many of them come from broken homes and have emotional problems and learning disabilities.

No, they are not purely victims of society. If they had studied harder, then they would have been able to go to a better high school. As a collective, they are the symptoms of a vicious social disease that has been festering for a long time, but is hidden with shame.

Enter the life of a modern low-level high school teacher. Many of them have been in this same school for years, and they face pressures different for those experienced by teachers back home. They are expected to help raise the students (parents are too busy for this, I am told), to motivate them in their studies and extracurricular activities, and most importantly to impose societal values upon them (on a side note, at this school the emphasis is to keep them off the streets and to shuttle them into low-level employment after they graduate).

Unlike chugakko and shogakko teachers in Kumamoto, the teachers in Osaka stay put for a long chunk of time. Teachers deal with this in different ways:

One of my teachers is a very cheerful person, but she suggested that I don't stress too much about class and just take it easy and concentrate on the good students- advice that I am trying to follow and adjust my teaching style to.

Another teacher gets stressed when she sees the students reading comics, sleeping, chatting, or texting on their phones. Since the first day, I have saved myself the stress by choosing the path of least resistance instead of being the bad cop.

The other teacher that I teach with tells me that he wants my lessons to be very interesting, but also has made it clear that he has no interest in suggesting lesson material or developing lessons with me. His hobbies are sleeping and watching TV. I have decided to just use him to translate my directions into Japanese when I can't manage it myself, and you can see the relief on his face.

I worry about the future of Japan. I look at this system, this vicious cycle that is spurning it's youth and turning them into a society that is trained to think the same as what's being said by people on TV, to always want the newest things that they see advertised in commercials, and that have either unattainable goals (roughly 50 percent of my students want to be a celebrity, professional athlete, or pro-racer) or set their goals very low with no hopes of improving their lot in life (to jobs that they are certain to get, but probably don't want to do). There is no "The Little Engine That Could" mindset over here. It's kind of like "1984" and "Animal Farm", and it may well be heading toward " Fahrenheit 451".

The population is shrinking over here, and the old generation and their values are being replaced by consecutively newer generations with different values. I look at the kids that I'm teaching today and I can just see a massive mess, steadily growing larger before my eyes.

I feel like I'm on a huge battleship that has an appearance of technological superiority with ample fire power and spiffy counter-measures, like tomahawk missiles, vulcan machine guns to shoot down any incoming missiles, and a nuclear-powered propulsion system. Unfortunately, the crew is turning a blind eye to the foundation upon which this technology sits. Under the waterline, the hull is being ignored and has rusted almost to the point of structural failure, being held together by duct tape and other improvised, haphazardly implemented maintenance operations. What will happen when the barnacles chew through the rust, and the hull starts to slowly give way to the sea? Will it make it back to port, and be repaired in a timely fashion, or will they just continue to slap pitch into the holes and pray for the best?

I have also met some really talented, interesting, and motivated people who think differently and have the drive to accomplish things. Their creativity, will to succeed, and happiness are truly inspiring, but they are merely the most visible segment of society over here. What I'm worried about is that the proportion of unmotivated youth that live a life devoted to instant gratification is getting bigger. This is going to make the big problems that Japanese society is facing even more difficult to deal with.

Ah, thinking on a macro-societal level can be so depressing. But screw it. You know what? It's nice weather out today, and I haven't even begun to explore around Northern Osaka. I'm going to finish my day here, go out in the sun, and enjoy all of the everyday wonders that I come across. And I will use those images to try and think of ways to help individual students think differently, develop their interests, and have fun.

The Trump Card

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I was planning on saving this lesson for a time when I would really need it, but since I had asked for special preparations, the footballs arrived and we were scheduled in to use the gym.

This lesson has been successful everywhere, with no exceptions. I have used it in elementary, junior high, and high schools with students ranging from gifted and rich to hopeless and poor. I wish I could teach football every day in English class.

The best part about the lesson is that girls get into football even more than the guys sometimes. When I taught some JHS students how to catch and throw the pigskin, the girls were always the first to claim the pigskin, and played all break long.

It's equally amusing to watch the ADD kids lob bullets at each other as they run full speed, looking over their shoulder. I can still hear the THUD of one boy's impact into the side of the gymnasium wall...

I haven't been able to post regularly for a while, but I will try and rectify the situation soon. The problem lies with my lack of internet access, which I will try and fix. Also, sites such as hotmail, gmail, and yahoo mail are blocked from work by SuperScout Web Filter- does anyone know any ways around this? Until I get things worked out, the best way to reach me is via my cosmicbuddha email account, or posting here. Gotta get back to work...

What I did on Thursday

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School Update: Week 2

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As usual, things are not going as expected. I was able to hold the attention of my smaller classes of 20 yesterday with a lesson about Bob Marley and Jamaican history, and I even got the students to sing along. I don't think I can do this the same way in a larger class, but I will give it a shot tomorrow.

Classes are very challenging to plan here. The teachers want me to make "interesting" lesson plans for kids that have a very low proficiency and an even lower level of interest in English. Their idea of fun are "worksheets that the kids can do by themselves" because "they don't listen and can't work in groups". They also have no set curriculum, which is good for creative license but drastically increases my workload, and the teachers have no time or interest to co-plan lessons. I'm going to try some games in the classes in which the kids seem to be paying attention, and I guess try and find a good set of worksheets to pass out when it is impossible to make myself heard. Any suggestions for pre-made materials that I can use?

As for the "worst class"- they seem to be a pretty cool class. Sure, the kids may not like English at all, but I seem to have connected with them pretty well. The "worst kids" are the ones who say hello and even kind of pay attention. It is going to be challenging to hold their interest, but at least I have the momentum to start with. Make no mistake- many of the kids in this class are reading comics or magazines, checking their mobile phones, drawing, sleeping, and talking, but they are relatively good kids. If I could have taught them from shogakko, I think these same kids would have turned out a lot different, as to their negative views toward English.

I think I found a way to make the time pass by more quickly. Every time I give the class a worksheet to fill out, I'm going to be playing music. Maybe I'll take five minutes each class to introduce an artist that they've never heard before, and teach them the genre, country, or any other interesting materials. If nothing else, the music will make the time go by more quickly.

So that's it. There will be no team teaching here, just my one man show. Hopefully I can step up to the challenge. At the end of the year, if the students show an interest in foreign cultures and people, and if they develop a wider interest in music because of what I play in class I will be content.

Black music?

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Let Sleeping Students Lie

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It looks like I'm going to have to adjust my teaching style to a lower level. Most of the kids are at a lower level than the elementary school students I taught, so that means that some of the activities that I already have made up are too advanced. That being said, the kids are not all psychotic as I had feared.

I got some advice from the cool jaded Japanese teacher today. She said that if I see students sleeping in class, just let them sleep. If they're reading manga, let them read manga. If that's the way that the teachers at my high school (who don't have huge burning ulcers) run their classes, then that's the way I will teach as well.

Maybe I'll just call it English class, but turn it into something different. With this group I think the emphasis on the lessons should be on cultural matters, and follow what the students are interested in, with English playing a secondary role.

Just out of curiosity, I asked that cool teacher "Why should I let the students sleep?". She said "They will start being rude, cause interuptions, and may become violent!". Kids these days need their sleep anyways. Hell, maybe I'll designate 30 minutes of each class for "Special English Nap/Study Time" and join in the fun.

A New School: Prologue

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Here are a few gems, picked out from a meeting with the English teachers at the high school where I will be teaching. Ah, where to start... How about:

"The kids here don't like English so much. They have a hard time paying attention in all of their subjects"

"I didn't want to be an English teacher. It just sort of happened"

"We have problems with violent students at this school"

"You should be gentle with the students"

"The last TNET (Temporary Native English Teacher, basically the same as a JET ALT, except with generally more experience and less pay) was very strict, but we think she was a good teacher. We want you to be different. Last year, she started to cry in the middle of a lesson, and had to leave the classroom"

"The kids here have ended up in this school, not because they are interested in agriculture or gardening, but because they have nowhere else to go"

"The food at the school cafeteria is horrible. We never eat it. Don't forget to bring a bento on Monday!

"There are many bad students at this school. Try to look at the faces of the students to find the good kids."


I feel as if I am about to embark on a perilous adventure like a character in the movie "Battle Royale", but I'm not worried. I'll do my best, but I know that it's going to be a challenge to reach through to these kids. Of course it would make me really happy if I could teach like the teachers in "Stand and Deliver", "Dangerous Minds", or "Renaissance Man". I'm going to set my goals low to match my expectations, starting with "I will not let the students make me cry and then run out of class". The hurdles are all lined up in front of me, and now it's time to run full speed ahead. To be continued...

Fresh Art

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Taro and Megumi took me out to Digmeout Cafe in Osaka, where they were, up until yesterday, exhibiting up and coming artists in Japan. Its a pretty cool place to check out anyways, and the food they serve looks really cool. If you can get your hands on a copy, I highly recommend their books. Perhaps the GR store on Sawtelle stocks them. You can check out the artists and their works here.

A Night In Kyoto

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Pictures from Hakuba

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Taking off at midnight, we arrived in time to soak in the rotemburo in Ecoland onsen and watch the sun rise.

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So much powder, but it's off limits! Sometimes rules are made to be broken. Riding on fresh powder doesn't even feel like the same sport.

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The lights at Miasa Onsen evoke the natural beauty of hemp.

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Stinkbugs are funny. Some people start acting like cartoon characters when they come across one of these. In Japan, I always find the reactions of the students and teachers to insects trapped in the classroom, whether it be a huge butterfly, an angry bee, or a stinkbug, utterly amusing. Who would think that something so small and harmless could be so captivating and capable of such distractive powers?

My Kempers

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These boots have been with me on many an adventure, traveling along to the various resorts I've visited over 10 years. Mika gave them to me, along with a badass Nitro 162 "lizard" longboard, as a birthday present in 1995 when I was a sophmore in high school.

At first, I had to wear two to three pairs of thick, woolen socks because they were a little too big for my then still-growing feet. Now they conform to my feet as if they were crafted from precisely crafted neoprene. They've been used so hard that the rubber is starting to separate from the aincent leather, and the heel backing has worn down to just a millimeter thick. Everytime I use the boots, the binding presses on a sensitive pressure point on my right foot, but it becomes less painful over time.

I had the pleasure to hang out and ride along with a cousin of a friend, who just so happened to be one of the top 10 boarders in Japan (a real kicked back guy named Takeshi), and he gave me some good pointers. As we were discussing the nuances of old and new equipment, he remarked that Kemper had gone bust and that he wanted a pair of boots like mine. The boots they have nowadays are much easier to rachet tight, take less time to get on and off, and are prettier. Despite this, there's something special about durable equipment of any kind that has been lovingly taken care of and well used by its owner. What an awesome pair of boots, these Kempers of mine.

Chopsticks Epiphany

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A common gripe among foreiners living in Japan is that Japanese people frequently say something along the lines of "Wow, you're pretty good at using chopsticks". While it can be annoying to hear the same thing over and over again, and even if these words are sometimes ring as a canned compliment, sometimes the words are just a simple observation spoken out loud.

The way that I was taught (with tiny training chopsticks when I was 5 years old) was to grasp both chopsticks between the middle and index fingers as one would hold a pencil, with the tip of the index and the knuckle of the middle finger manipulating movement. What people don't understand is that not all Japanese ever learned how to use chopsticks properly.

It's not as obvious because you don't see them yielding them in two hands like a pair of daggers, and they tend not to spear their food. Sometimes you can see younger people holding a pair like a pre-schooler first learns to grasp a crayon. They make it work, but all the same they do not qualify as being "good at using chopsticks".

I think that this widely spoken observation also stems from difficulties encountered by some Japanese while using western silverware. I can't express how confused I was when I first heard a long-time Japanese friend look me straight in the eye and said "Wow, you're good at using the knife and fork, huh?" with a straight expression on her face.

Lull

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Sorry that the posts have been sparse lately. I am currently searching for suitable living accomodations in Osaka. The most interesting place so far was an apartment in Nippombashi where everyone in the building shared a shower on the roof, the floor felt as if it were about to give out from under me, and I would have gotten a "discount" because the Korean video store next door was "kind of loud at night".

When I get my own place worked out, I will be writing on a regular basis again. In the meantime, I'll try and find an apartment that comes with a shower.

History of Sneakers

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This page is cool on so many levels. Not only is the culture of sneakers interesting to read about, but the song compilations for each cultural sphere is excellent. I will be looking for the film, by Femke Wolfing, on which this site is based.

Waterfalls in Japan

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I've visited many waterfalls and taken countless pictures of them, but this page is the definitive waterfall resource for Kyushu, as well as a wide swath of the rest of Japan. I never knew that there were over 110 (I know of some that are not listed) waterfalls in Kumamoto.

Songs in the Classroom

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If you're tired of teaching songs by the Beatles and Carpenters to kids who want to learn what 50's really saying, then consult this dictionary. It's about time that Japanese students understand the music that they are listening to, instead of music that they're not interested in.

Ride Me

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Football

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Football is kinda like sumo.

Knighting

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Knighting is a practice that involves dominance and calculated risk. Being knighted by QE would not be very frightening, but I wonder if there was a time being knighted was a frightening experience. I imagine that there have been times when kings have had to knight people who they didn't particularly like or want around. If there was a conspiracy between the king and his court, knighting could serve as the perfect venue for cold-blooded murder.

In Hakuba

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Right now I'm in Nagano with Taro, staying at the lodge where he used to work in seasons long ago. The snow is superior to any I have so far encountered in Japan, but this is not surprising.

Taro and his friends are good skiers, but something crazy happened yesterday. Tori-san, a very skilled skier, was busting some crazy tricks on skis that made everyone say "Ooh". I was watching him go off a jump, when he caught major air and his body tilted right so that it was unnaturally parallel with the ground. He landed so hard that he broke his carbon fiber pole in half, but luckily escaped with not broken bones or anything worse than pain when he laughs.

This reminds me of when I dislocated my rib after taking a spill in Mammoth. Luckily my father is a chiropractor so he popped that sucker back in, and I was back in action. I'll try not to do anything so dramatic this time, but we'll see.

By the way, if you're up this way I recommend a bar called 902- foosball and a large screen TV playing big air footage. It's a good thing that they don't show those vids in the cafeteria on the slopes, or I would probably be riding the sled down the mountain with the ski patrol.

Death and Lake Biwa

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This past weekend, Justin, Taro, and I embarked on a weekend trip, excited to finally have the opportunity to snowboard/ski this season. We were hoping to get an early start on snowboarding in Shiga prefecture, but rain on the coast did not translate into snow in the mountains. High winds prevented us from any other options than leaving or waiting for the conditions to change. Having packed fishing equipment for our contingency plan, we opted to go explore the famed Lake Biwa and try our luck.

On the way we got lost and saw abandoned buildings and fading remnants of a once vibrant lakeside community. Perhaps Lake Biwa is a bustling vacation destination, but on that gray, rainy day it set the mood frequently encountered in Stephen King's short stories set in Castle Rock. Driving to the lake on a narrow, windy road through old neighborhoods, full of ancient, weather-beaten wooden houses, we were pursued by a wailing ambulance and passed the woman summoning it.

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Taro had mentioned that it is against the law to catch and release black bass. If you catch one, you must kill it or throw it in a netted enclosure where it is certain to die of starvation. This regulation also applies to bluegill. Right now, there is great concern about the dwindling stocks of native fish in Lake Biwa for good reason. The bass and bluegill predate on and compete with the natives, so programs like this are essential for finding a new balance. Unfortunately, we did not contribute to eradicating anything at all.

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It was really sad to see the forgotten boats, rotting and growing thick coats of algae. This pile of ripped up fiberglass (located next to the "No Littering" sign) is a sad testament to a society that prizes convenience over long-term responsibility.


Skulls

The first three skulls were found at the lake, near to the fiberglass pyre and fish traps. The last one was resting underneath Sumoto Castle (on Awaji-shima).

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A catfish skull.

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The skull of a dog- yet another reminder of a waribashi society.

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A heron skull.

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An inoshishi(boar) skull, complete with tusks.


The high winds, cold rain, doomed fish, and other depressing things didn't seem to have any effect on our day. They just served as interesting things to contemplate or discuss on another road trip. We ate fish sausage "hot dogs" with curried cabbage, explored random country roads, and ended up going snowboarding at a different nearby resort. The odyssey finally ended the next morning at 7, when we finally went to sleep after drinking at Bill's Bar on its closing night. We didn't wake up until well after 3P.M., and it felt good.

music videos that don't suck

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On the Submarine Channels's Pause Online you can see the videos on Spike Jonze's and Michel Gondry's Director's Label DVDs, as well as other noteworthy works.

Works like the Beastie Boy's Sabotage, a few Daft Punk vids, and many of Fat Boy Slim's music videos are here. The only catch is that the videos are displayed in a tiny window.

Of Roommates

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Gary has an awesome link about the strange behavior of roommates here. The guy reminds me of how Mark gets down at the Sanctuary and now defunct Sharp, except there is no spiking of disco balls and no ass slapping.

Peeing on things

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One day, I will have children who will ask me "What was college like?", and if I choose to answer honestly I will reply "For young men, college is mostly about destroying things, refining procrastinating technique and bullshitting skills, but mostly it?s drinking cheap beer and peeing on things while at the same time trying not to get caught or hurt in the process". Then I will tell them about my impressions of Del Playa ( mainly that the street smells like a urinal), of returning home to the dorms to find that all of the sit down toilets had been pissed all over along with the toilet paper, and how my apartment mates and I speculated about how urine made its way into and all over my apartment's communal washing machine and dryer.

Here are a collection of stories, all that share a central, common theme, that I remember about my life as a student at UCSB:.


The D.A.
College parties often provide a good environment in which to observe the dynamic relationship between the police officers and students, who tend not to get along very well. In Isla Vista, UC Santa Barbara's own college town, these two groups play a high-stakes game of "tag", called "open container-tag" that illustrate the struggle between having a good time and being busted for having too much fun.

The game is played like this: Cops are "it" and partygoers are "not it". 1.Partygoers can not be tagged if they are on home base, in this case defined as the property on which a party is held where cops have no jurisdiction. 2.Partygoers are also safe if they are not visibly drunk (i.e. acting like a jackass) or are not carrying an open container with an alcoholic beverage. When carrying a cup, it must be held upside down to avoid provocation..

The cops can tag partygoers if both conditions 1. and 2. are not met. If the partygoer is under 21, they face the possibility of a huge pain in the ass. If the partygoer is 21 and has an open beverage on public property, they can be tagged with a fine or citation.

As the streets of I.V. get packed with partygoers on any given night, cops can be easily evaded in the crowd, but if the partygoer has had too much to drink and their motor skills are impaired, this can result in hilarious, shame-filled stories that can and should be used to blackmail your friends and acquaintances in the future. Nicknames such as "Drunk Steve" are earned in this way, but that?s guy by himself deserves a post dedicated solely to how he became the ?Drunk Steve? out of all of the other Steves with whom we were acquainted with. For now, I?ll just sum him up by saying that whenever I saw him, he was with beer in hand and there was a good chance that someone was going to get tackled?

In the last quarter of our freshman year, we were well acquainted with open container-tag, and none of our immediate friends were ever caught. We were out one night, partying with our D.A. "Gheelberto", when he was giving us some advice on drinking under the radar in the dorms. Gheelberto was a cool D.A. who often dispensed knowledge of this vein, and had helped us to stay out of trouble during our first semester, when we were inexperienced and careless.

Gheelberto left the house party that we were at to go meet up with some "hot chicks from another dorm", and we left about five minutes later, only to see our D.A. getting written up for breaking the open container law. In his drunken state, he had been careless, and not-so-smoothly tried tossing the contents of his red plastic cup into a bush, right in front of the cops. This was an important reminder that cops often show up at the most inconvenient of times, and that there is no "time out", nor are there ?do overs? in the ever-running game of "open container-tag".


Unwitting Accomplice
Like many other UCSB students, one of my friends has always distrusted and disliked law enforcement officers, even before college. We had moved into I.V. but occasionally went onto campus to drink and hang out. On our way back from an event on campus and after having imbibed our fill of Red Dog(40 bucks a keg), we were passing the San Rafael dorms when we spotted a police truck. They had most likely come because some students were being too loud on a Friday night or because their D.A. ratted them out for drinking on campus (one of the D.A.s in San Raf was a dick!), so my friend decided to let his feelings about their actions be known.

"Let me know if they're coming" he slurred, as he pissed all over the door, side window, and handle of the truck. Realizing it would be pointless to say "they're only doing their jobs", I instead resigned my protests to watch him, and was unable to hold back a flood of hysterical laughter. I guess I kind of wanted him to do it.


Hmmmm....Salty
The food at the school cafeterias was almost always bad, but one friend found a way to make it even worse. This friend's roommate was a dick, so one day while the roommate left the table the friend took his roommate?s soup under the table and pissed in it. The roommate returned and took a few sips before noticing, first, that everyone could not contain their laughter and, second, that his soup's flavor had changed. I had some really immature friends back then, and even though this story makes me laugh I also feel kind of bad for his roommate. And then I remember that he was a dick, and then I laugh some more.


The Angry Exhibitionist
Another friend, who we'll call "Topher", shared my tradition of peeing on D.P. 6645, my "The Real World" experience of living with psychotic roommates during my sophmore year. We did this many, many times, after a long night out and about in I.V.. Anyways, Topher had been raised in an area where cops were almost considered as trusted members of the community. It only took one night to transform to get Topher to start hating the police on the same level as Public Enemy and the NWA.

One morning, after a wild night out with Topher and the gang, I went out with a friend for breakfast burritos (these seriously kicked ass after a night of hard drinking!) and we had a conversation much like this:

"Did you hear that Topher got a ticket?" "What for? Was it a B.U.I. (biking under the influence)?" "No, he was coming home from D.P., and stopped to pee in the bushes. That's all I know right now."

So when Topher came over to the apartment we inquired about the incident:

"You got busted for peeing in the bushes?"
"I (expletive deleted) hate cops so much! (expletive deleted) the police!"
"How did it happen?"
"You know that open lot in the 6700 block of D.P.? I was taking a pee over in the bushes and those cops jumped out and busted me! (expletive deleted) pigs!"
"What do you mean they 'jumped out'?"
"They were hiding in the bushes, waiting for someone to pee there and they caught me."
"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. Heh, that really sucks... how much was it (the ticket)?"
"It's 200 bucks, and if I get caught 2 more times I have to become registered as a sex offender! Can you believe that?"
?That?s?.. Awesome! Hahahahahahahahaha!?
(look of hurt on Topher?s face) ?(expletive deleted) you guys!?

Oh, how much ammunition did this provide for future jokes, taunting, and the final word in our arguments and conversations? I don't know, but it never got old and I still look for the opportunity to drag this gem out every once in a while. Because, really, that?s what friends are for.


What's that on our couch?
One of our friends acquired an almost legendary status on campus. One night he went to a party and fell asleep on a couch in an apartment that he had never been before. He was woken up by a girl who was a resident of the apartment who didn't know who he was. The girl clearly saw that he had passed out and wet his pants along with their couch, and quite understandably she told him to get the (expletive deleted) out. He made a hastily made a weak apology and walked out of the apartment and into the mythology of I.V..

And what happened to the couch? I don?t know for certain, but like most other ?too funky for even college students to keep on using? couches, it was likely dragged into the middle of the street, set on fire, and then jumped over by a group of drunk college students led by Drunken Steve.


Don't come around here no more
On Sabado Tarde, we regularly held parties with multiple kegs. At one of these parties the boyfriend of one of our friends, who we didn't like to begin with, was manning the tap. Word got back to us that he had pissed into one of the cups and passed it off to a guest as a beer. My roommate got so angry that he was going to feed the punk a knuckle sandwich, but he got away just in the nick of time. He was later given warning that his presence would not be tolerated at any of our parties ever again. What did she see in this guy? I?ll never know.


A Night Raid
I was driving my Legend through I.V., on my way with a friend to jiu-jitsu lessons in downtown Santa Barbara, when I spotted a group of punks who had rigged a garden hose to spray passing cars. I kept my Legend in top condition and had just washed and waxed it, so I stopped my car and told them not to spray my car. Luckily the window was up, and although we both wanted to get out of the car and confront these losers, we decided to get to class on time instead.

That weekend, we were out drinking and discussing this over a few beers. Somehow, it was decided that we would get revenge that night. At two in the evening, we returned to the house, first rigging some black cats with a slow fuse next to a window (burning cigarette). Then it was decided that we would get payback a la Hammurabi's code, except substituting urine for water. He would piss all over the front door, and I would get the glass one. We were fully loaded from the beer, and the blast of the foamy stream against the glass door produced a loud, sustained snare, unmistakable in the quiet night. We got everything- the handles, lock, crevices?

I'm not especially proud of this incident, but it never fails to bring a smile to my face. Is this what college was really all about? No, but it does make for more exciting stories than what you learned in O Chem and Statistics. Do you still remember anything from those classes, really?


The Bed-wetting Roommate
My sophomore year in college I lived in the #8 apartment at 6645 Del Playa Street. I moved in with a couple of friends before really getting to know each other. The apartment mates who I didn't know turned out to be awesome people who helped me to fight the dreaded Axis of Evil, 3 of us against 3 of them- but that?s a whole different subject..

I lived in the same room with "Argonaut", who seemed cool at first. One of the first signs that Argonaut was strange was his policy on toilet paper. We all took turns buying TP, but Argonaut insisted on stealing TP from the university which was obvious because he took the huge industrial sized (1 ft in diameter) rolls of 100 grit toilet (sand)paper on his rotation. It only got worse after that.

One morning I woke up smelling urine in the room. Argonaut was gone, but clearly visible on his sheets was a huge wet stain, clearly the source of the stink. When he returned I confronted him, saying that his sheets were stinking up the room, but he denied it, as if I were making things up. Confounded, I enlisted the help of my other roommates, and it was only when the members of the Axis asked him to change his sheets that he complied.

His next move shocked us all. Instead of washing his sheets like a normal person, he left them to soak in the bathroom sink. This was much the same as pissing in the sink to me, but as long as I didn't have to sleep next to the soiled sheets I let the point slide. From this point, Argonaut became known as "Bed-wetter"

Kumamoto Ramen Anywhere!

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Sapporo has come out with an instant tonkotsu ramen (the bowl to the left) that kicks the pants off of anything widely available outside of Kyushu. This is all the more remarkable since all of the ingredients in this Kumamoto-flavor ramen are freeze-dried and full of preservatives. The tonkatsu broth is rich, creamy,and full of roasted garlic with green onions, ginger, char siu, and kikurage(the crunchy, brown, wakame-like seaweed). I think that it might be worth discarding everything else but the broth, substituting fresh ingredients.

The ramen in the box to the right is from Kurume Taiho, from Fukuoka-ken (just North of Tosu in Saga- I know, it's counter-intuitive, but driving up the expressway from Kumamoto, you first pass through Fukuoka, then Saga, then its Fukuoka again...). Kurume Taiho makes 2 main kinds of ramen, plain tonkotsu and mukashi tonkotsu. Mukashi tonkotsu is the quintessential tonkotsu of old, family run ramen shops. When you enter one of these often hidden dens, a musty, slightly sour smell creeps into the nostrils and may be considered offensive if it is taken out of context. To the initiated, this smell reveals that there is rustic culinary treasure to be had, real tonkotsu, the stuff that has soul, that is cherishingly cultivated from tried and true methods and ingredients. The broth of mukashi tonkotsu is a creamy white, but hidden under a tanned skin of funky goodness, not unlike the crust on a nice cup of French onion soup. The broth coats the noodles almost like cream sauce hitches on to alfredo. If you love garlicky tonkotsu ramen then this ramen is for you.

Moving away from Kumamoto and Kyushu has brought the painful realization that not all ramen-ya serve tonkotsu, and when they do it is very likely to be lacking in character or fall short of expectations (but not necessarily of what is expected). All of them seem like failed versions that aren't held to the high standards from back home. The tonkotsu ramen up here is parallel to the seafood-covered, corn-splattered, mayonnaise drenched pizzas of Japan. They're similar enough to be subconsiously tempting, but too often result in crushing disappointment.

Gigapxl Project

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Can you imagine having a camera that took pictures in such fine resolution (measured in gigapixels!) that you would need a special infrastructure to effectively wield it? What would you do with such awesome capabilities if you were retired and had the time and determination to create photographs of incredible scale?

For one thing, this team is traveling around America, taking awesome pictures. Another goal is to preserve all of the UNESCO World Heritage sites by capturing them on film. These pictures and the cameras that the team uses remind me of Ansel Adams.

There is no explanation on the FAQ about the macros capabilities of the camera. It would be cool if the camera could capture the miniature world of plants and insects, as well as other natural environments.

Killing Pain

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Here's some good reading about how war has been the perfect labaratory in which to study and refine anasthetics.

Modern surgery was invented in the 16th century by Ambroise Par?, a lowly barber-surgeon in the French army. When he joined the ranks, guns were the latest upgrade in weapons of mass destruction, bullet wounds were washed out with boiling oil, and the standard practice for relieving a soldier's pain was to slit his throat.

I wonder, why would the human body adapt to develop chronic pain for limbs that no longer exist? It must just be an unresolved quirk. Maybe people that suffer such trauma would almost certainly die without modern medicine, so nature has never had to bother with getting rid of unnecessary stimuli in this contingency.

Stalactites and Stalagmites

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Calcite is one of those mediums with which nature fully displays its crazy genius in the open. These sculptures have been shaped so long ago, that one can not truly comprehend of timescales using a human generation as the incremental measurement. They appear as complex forms with patterns that resonate deeply within innate beliefs and intuition, yet in the end they were created by the same force that creates plaque on showerheads. Which leads me to the question, has anyone ever had a stalactite grow out of their faucet or shower as the result of a high mineral content in their water supply, coupled with prolonged neglect? I had 3 inch stalactite hanging from my kitchen faucet, but that was merely an icicle.

The following pictures were all taken in the same cave, which I plan on posting more about shortly.

Morbid Fascination

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The first time Akebono fought (vs. Bob Sapp) everyone was skeptical that he would be able to hold his own, but there was a glimmer of hope that the underdog might triumph. Sumo wrestlers, the argument went, are professional athletes and perhaps his unorthodox martial art would give him an edge against Sapp's brute strength. And then he fell, and the truth became all too clear. After the fight, many people felt bad for him, and wished him a quick recovery and success in a non-MMA career.

But he just wouldn't stop. Whenever an Akebono fight came on, many of us watched, not because we thought he had any chance of winning, but because we wondered how badly he would get beaten. There were no longer any discussions of it was possible for him to win, but rather how long it would take for him to go down. An Akebono K-1 fight is painful to watch. He looks like a nice enough guy, and you just want to see it end quickly. No, Hoyce Gracie vs. Akebono was not a fight I really wanted to see (but I watched it anyways).

Why hasn't Akebono stopped fighting yet? It has to be for money, and its sad to see that he intends to keep on fighting. It's even sadder that K-1 will keep on putting him on the bill until the public demand to see him severely beaten eventually dries up. Watching this story unfold is like watching a Greek tragedy. In this case, the protagonist has already made the pivotal choice and now we are witnessing a very painful fall from grace. I hope he wins his next fight, so that he can retire in peace.

Here's a GI Joe safety message in Japanese (via Brian)

Monsanto Sucks

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Here's why (partly).

Huygens a Success!

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I was up late last night waiting for the reports of Titan via the Huygens probe to start pouring in, but was bitterly disappointed by the results of CNN's analysis and coverage. Well, more data and pictures are coming in, and I will be following this story closely. It boggles the mind to think that this chunk of sensors was blasted into space 9 years ago, and only yesterday embarked upon its prime objective. The space program, and its operational timetables seem visionary in a most (still precocious) Asmovian way. Space programs kick ass.

Fressssssssssssssssssssssshh attire

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Last night I got to see the Beastie Boys for free thanks to Taro, who came through in the clutch- thanks bro. It was an awesome show- they played a mix of music mostly off of Check Your Head, Ill Communication, and To the 5 Boroughs.

The last time I saw the Beastie Boys was at the Forum (in L.A.), back in High School. I noticed some differences right away. This time they played a longer set, Mix Master Mike was a crowd favorite in Osaka and especially on top of his game, and this time we were treated to some instrumentals with a fully fleshed out band.

Things that I remember, and thoughts on the show:

Some people were rocking out harder to the opening act (Le Tigre- no comment) than to the Beastie Boys.
The crowd was very quiet, and didn't make enough noise for an encore, but luckily they came back out anyways.
The Beastie Boys have one of those camera arrays that take a picture from multiple angles all at the same instant, take jump pictures, and display them in real time.
To take bootleg photos, it is best to turn OFF the lcd on your digicam BEFORE the concert.
In So. Cal, everyone stands at a B Boys show. In Osaka, most people sit down, except for the two spastic high schoolers in front of yours truly.
Osaka Beastie Boys groupies fall into the "has a nice personality" category.
The guy who plays the latin percussion is "Bunny" from Sabotage.
People were actually leaving during the middle of the show, while the Beasties were playing, and they left at the very end during the middle of their last song, Sabotage. WTF is that all about?
There were a lot of old people in the crowd. Nursing home age. Right on, but strange nonetheless.
Few people seemed to be into the instrumentals.
Osaka-jo Hall was not sold out, not by a long shot. Yes, it was Wednesday, but back in So Cal, tickets would have sold out in 10 minutes.
It was cool to listen to them banter on stage and know that very few of us understood what was going on.
Why do they never play anything off of License to Ill?

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Snake getting ready to bust in like Cochise.

Fish: it's what's for dinner

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We braved the arctic winds of Sumoto Port and hooked 5 of these vicious marine predators. With an equal mix of luck and skill, we ended up unscathed and with a first hand knowledge of how the mighty Gashira tastes as (badly mutilated) sashimi and deep fried in karaage batter. I bet it tastes like sculpin (which I've heard are quite delicious), and wonder if their dorsal spines have similar toxins as well. The remedy for treating sculpin envenomation, dousing the wound into water as hot as you can bear, sounds like something I'd rather not experience.

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When you hold them by the bottom lip or agitate them sufficiently, they flare out their fins into a defensive posture exposing ridges of spines in their fins. I believe they do this to deter potential predation, and to appear bigger.

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I was initially very reluctant to eat these fish because they remind me of puppy dogs with their gaping mouths and large eyes. They were delicious, but I think from now on I will catch and release. You would have to kill too many of them to make a decent meal.

Wired Spoof

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This interview with Hiroshi Yamauchi is obviously fake, but pretty funny because it really looks like a legit article out of Wired Magazine. Can you seriously picture any Japanese businessman talking like this? (This question is an ignorance litmus test).

Fiber Optic Cetaceans

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Walking on the Moon

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Taking a walk through Suntopia Harbor, I was looking for a better place to fish. Weaving amongst the upscale apartments juxtaposed by overgrown weed lots, I stumbled upon some real exotic crafts rotting away, forgotten and neglected by their owners.

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This semi-submersible looks like something straight out of Star Trek with it's dramatically curved pontoons and bulbous design. Not meant to submerge at all, it rides on the surface, but the passengers sit in the hull well below the waterline, and can look out of the domed windows. The aft portion of the craft reveals a small propeller and rudder that suggests this exotically designed take on a glass-hulled boat is only meant to cruise in protected bodies of water, and may be a hint as to why it is still not in use around this area.

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Looking like something that might lead the Rebel squadron to an attack on the Death Star, this airfoil is built for speed. Mounted behind the long cockpit is a huge fan, not unlike those used by the fan boats on the everglades. It is sad that these two awesome crafts are left to rot in an abandoned lot just a few feet from the water, but upkeep and storage costs must be prohibitively expensive for items of such limited utility.

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As if to match the theme of my walk, I spotted these strange fruit, busting out of fur covered appendages. It's ordinary excursions like these that make wandering around such a rewarding activity.

Horror, Non-fiction

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My father just emailed me an article, entitled "Death By Medicine" about what is wrong with the American medical system today.

It is now evident that the American medical system is the leading cause of death and injury in the US. (By contrast, the number of deaths attributable to heart disease in 2001 was 699,697, while the number of deaths attributable to cancer was 553,251.)

It seems counter-intuitive that our medical system, the one that we depend on to heal us, is the cause (the leading cause of death and injury) of so much unnecessary death and injury. This article explores in detail what is wrong, and more importantly what can be corrected in order to remedy these flaws, with medicine in the U.S.. Who would really argue that they don't mind being (or being treated by) a fatigued, rushed doctor who is administering aid outside of his or her area of expertise?

The practices of the pharmaceutical industry are also carefully examined. Is it beneficial for large industries to put medical journalists on the payroll, or for research to be done by researchers who are anything less than impartial towards anything other than scientific objectivity? Might these interests conflict with the general well-being of society, or are large companies to be blindly trusted in the hope that they will be pillars of ethical righteousness?

The issue of iatrogenic (meaning induced in a patient by a physician's activity, manner, or therapy. Used especially of an infection or other complication of treatment. Until very recently, I didn't know what this meant either) injury is especially scary. If you were a doctor and you screwed up, you might think long and hard about reporting it because if you did it might very well cost you your reputation, career, and a lot of money. The article implies that the vast majority of iatrogenic injuries go unreported. The bulk of those that are reported are done so because they have been discovered by the patient or the family of the patient (after they die sometimes). I am not comforted in how some doctor's superior knowledge of medicine is being used, or withheld in these situations. I see two factors at blame here, one being the medical industry, and the other being our litigious society.

I got sick last year, and my employer insisted that I go to a hospital so they could treat my cold. I refused, and not only were they baffled, but they were also agitated.


Supervisor: "Why didn't you go to the hospital to go see a doctor?"

Me: "Because all I needed was rest, and see, I'm much better already."

Supervisor: "You should go anyways, that's what hospitals are for."

Me: "In the U.S., we just drink lots of fluids, eat foods that are easy to digest, and get plenty of sleep. And it works just fine."

Supervisor: "Next time, you need to go to the hospital."


I am glad that I didn't go to the hospital, because if I had, they might have injured me iatrogenically. Try translating that to your tantousha.

On a side note, Matt once was dragged to the hospital by his supervisor, and they rused him into getting a tube shoved down his throat (without prior consent) while he was still awake. Maybe they were punishing him for being a bad ALT, hahaha!

Googlethink

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This short movie is a fictional documentary chronicling modern social trends and the evolving dynamics of information. Brings back memories of 1984, updated.

Tijuana, Japan

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Japan's Tijuana is just like California's. Everyone wears ponchos and sombreros and drinks a lot of tequila while playing mariachi music next to the saguaro cacti.
The only things missing are the jumping beans and kids chasing after a tourist with Chicle.

There is also a crazy looking zebra tethered by a amidst discarded furniture and cinderblocks.

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Sadly in Tijuana, Japan, there are no cheap tacos with meat of questionable origin, nor are there any churros.

Gooks in Kitano

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If I were Angry Asian Man, I'd say "That's racist!". This Chinese restaraunt is in the upscale neighborhood of Kitano, Kobe.

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"Stick Snack Gookie Salad" is almost as good as "Cheese Flavored Nips".

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Dread Natty Dread

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No, this is not the head of a black mop, nor is it the scalp of a Rastafarian. This walking natty dread is technically a dog. This dog reminds me of some of the voodoo demons that the Jamaican babysitter conjures to scare two misbehaving kids in the 80's TV series, Amazing Stories.

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I have seen this strange beast wandering around the streets, like some sort of mutant caterpillar. Today it was sitting right in front of a sliding glass door, and wouldn't budge, so pedestrians were forced to step over or walk around him to get in or out of the building.

He must really stink when he gets wet.

Southern Awaji Sunset

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Taken at Fukuagehama beach while surf fishing. It was a fine beach, but nothing was biting.

The Next Tarantino Scripts?

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I read an interesting comment on my last post on Quentin Tarantino:

The screenplay of Quentin Tarantino's Kung Fu movie has been leaked to the internet. It seems to be some sort of Japanese gangster flick. Link

The linked site contains two scripts:

The working title of the first script, a Japanese gangster/Kung Fu film is GREYHOUND. The second Tarantino script is a teenage crime story called HIGH SCHOOL SKY HIGH.

I think that this was spread by the author of the site, as the name of the author is "Rancor". Does this person really have beef with Q.T., or are the scripts fake? Justin thinks that the scripts might have been put up by an ambitious writer looking to cash in on some publicity through a hoax.

BJ-League

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No, it's really not what it sounds like. It is another example of amusing example of English in Japan, but this time with a high-profile and the potential to make the BJ-League the laughing stock of English speaking basketball leagues the world over, even before it gets a crack at establishing itself.

The BJ-League is Japan's new professional basketball league. The announcement of the league comes after Tabuse's debut in the NBA, so Yuta-san has a pretty good fallback plan if he ever stops playing in the States.

The use of strange mutant English used in Japanese media and goods has been widely documented. For things such as Asse chocolate and cream-filled Collon cookies, it is amusing and part of the joy of living in Japan is spotting mistake-riddled English loaded with unintentional political incorrectness, double entendres, and faux paxs. After having taught English for 2 years, I can tell you that English education is in rough shape in Japan, due to the common fear of speaking and practicing conversation. Interestingly, Japanese students are relatively pretty good at reading and writing English. Let's analyze the name BJ-League, keeping this in mind.

I am speculating that they chopped off the "assketball" from the "B" and grafted it on to "J-League", AKA the professional Japanese soccer league. Sounds good in theory abbreviating "Basketball" and "Japan" to "BJ" and attaching "League", but what they got was a good name for an X-rated video. For such a high profile venture as a professional sports league, why not run the proposed name by a panel of English speakers, or even just one dude who knows English, to check for errors and such? Now they're stuck with it, and I can never take the league seriously. Ah, BJ-League... Those crazy, crazy Japanese.

Take a look at the teams on the BJ-League homepage, featuring the Sendai 89ers, the Niigata Albirex (here's the cheerleader's site), the Saitama Broncos, The Tokyo Apache, the Osaka Deinonychus, and the Oita Heat Devils. The Heat Devils' logo really reminds me of Hot Wheels. How exciting can a national league with only 6 teams be? I guess only time will tell.

Thoughts on Two Upcoming Weddings

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Some people run away from marriage and the responsibilities of a serious relationship as if it were the act of self-castration. I must admit, that when I first heard that some of my friends were getting married I felt frightened for them, as if they had told me that they were going to a far, unreachable place from which there would be no return. But then I thought about it, and it became clear that they were going to become better than they were before. Yes, after they get married, they will obligated to conduct themselves in ways that may not seem so fun, but will hopefully bring a deeper meaning to them as a family.

First, I would like to say congratulations to Chris and Brian, and to their respective fiances, Sarah and Rebecca. You women are doing these two a great service, and they know it, I know it, and all of our friends also know it as well. Building 2 story beer bongs, living in I.V. for three years, doing various dangerous things while enibriated (electric pickle, riding bikes, falling off of roofs, blowing shit up, etc...), and playing cruel jokes on each other lends me a special perspective on these two. It is obvious to me that without you, Chris and Brian would still be a bunch of primates, scratching their rears and flinging poo at each other.

Chris. Brian. You guys are also bringing something into the relationship. You will get to be the chief "male role model" of the house, and the corresponding duties. Countless afternoons spent perfecting your chillin' and grillin' techniques will be passed on to the next generation, as well as an encyclopedic knowledge of both micro an macrobrews. Hurricane punch and long island iced tea awaits, although it will never again be served out of a 5 gallon water cooler. Instead, you guys will drink to get a nice buzz, not until you start urinating on cop cars, in front of cops hiding in the bushes, or anywhere in the proximity of an on-duty police officer for that matter. Having a female partner who wants to help you [as opposed to any guy who would] instead of laugh at you really has its advantages sometimes. It also means that you will be called in to kill any insects, rodents, or deal with any dangerous life forms (Update: Rebecca is the one who takes care of the insects).

Although you two are getting married, I hope that we can all still find some time every once in a while to go out and do nostalgic stuff. You know what I'm talking about- like blowing shit up!!! Do you remember how fun that was? Or sharing a nice keg of Sierra Nevada (that would be Rolling Rock for Chris) while enjoying grilled portobellos and thick chunks of meat. Maybe we can even take a trip into Mexico and go fishing sometime (no, not to TJ to see the spray painted donkeys).

Honestly though, I am truly happy for you guys.

Another Update: Congratulations to Joe "the Muppet" and Michiyo who got married (Mark posted some good photos from the ceremony) down in Kumamoto. Michiyo Fingerhut, hmmm... it's going to take a while to get used to saying that. Best of luck in St. Louis, guys.

Through the lense of T. Utsushigawa

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Last night I found a picture taken by my maternal great-grandfather of the City Market of Los Angeles, over 96 years ago. I don't know much about T. Utsushigawa, save for what my mom has told me.

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City Market of Los Angeles, California, 9th & San Pedro Street, August 8th 1910. Shot by T. Utsushigawa (click on the picture for a larger version).

According to my mom, my great-grandfather established himself as a prominent photographer, but like most Americans of Japanese descent he lost everything when he was interred in the concentration camps of World War II.

This picture has great value to me because it is a tangible piece of heritage, part of his life and occupation. Thanks to the Library of Congress photo archive, I was able to see an America that he lived in. If you look closely, you will notice that the cars in the crowded parking lot are, in fact, covered wagons (or horse drawn carriages if you prefer). It almost looks as if he was there right after the taming of the Wild West.

This is the only picture that I can find, but hopefully more can be uncovered with a more extensive search.

How are the police going to deal with motorcyclists that cause a nuisance late at night and pose a danger to other motorists?

Cops will also be armed with paintball rifles, nail guns to shoot out tires and can now use unmarked Black Wing motorcycles to keep watch on the roads. (from this article)

Paintball guns I can understand, but nail guns (this is kind of off topic, but here's another interesting story involving a nail gun-Operation Magician)? Someone's been playing a little too much Quake or something. Hmmm, a cop shooting the tires out from under a young punk with a nail gun while riding a motorcycle. What could possibly go wrong? What if the cop mistakenly draws a bead on the motorcyclist's head and only realizes that what he thought was a paintball gun was in fact a nail gun after he squeezes the trigger (Headshot!)? Does anyone else see anything that could possibly go wrong with these measures? I can already envision some fed-up cops freezing their paintballs and jacking up the velocity past recommended levels.

Does anyone remember The Jackal (the movie kind of based on The Day of The Jackal, not Carlos the Jackal, which is worth watching for the scene where Willis's character adjusts the aim of the remote controlled .50 cal) with Bruce Willis and Jack Black? Well, some Texan is selling 10 shots from a .22 rigged so that it can be used over the internet. I like the idea, but if I'm going hunting over the internet I want to use a larger caliber rifle with the option to toggle between semi, tri-burst, fully-automatic, and grenade launcher settings to compensate for any lag issues.

Leapfrogging Microcosms

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It's crazy what you can find when Googling your name and the name of people that you know. For example, I found out that my high school friends Gary Dote (at Halocrazed) and Daniel Chong (posting at chickennuggets) are also blogging. It's good to hear from old friends, even if just through their posts.

It's interesting to hear stories from people who have read my postings, as I enjoy hearing feedback and exchanging stories and opinions. But my favorite story by far comes from Joe Debiec.

I posted my thoughts about Joe leaving a McDonalds bag full of feces on top of my Civic after going to a cheesy disco party in Miyazaki, thinking that I was just recording a funny (in retrospect, not at that present moment) story for posterity. Well, it turns out that his professor, who has written letters of recommendation for him and whom he still corresponds with, did a search on Google and found this post. The professor then brought the post to his attention, teasingly chastising him for his primitive behavior. Now, that post generated some truly gratifying results and that is part of the joy of posting.


Other thoughts on Google as a social navigation tool:

Ego-googling, and Justin's attempts to boost his page rank under a search for my name, has also made me aware of the existence of another Adam T. Yoshida. I wonder how many people have met or will meet me, only to mistake me for this other Adam T. Yoshida. How many of my former friends and acquaintances were shocked to find out that I wasn't a real American or think that I have transformed into someone who is very vocal about his right wing views.

Many people write insulting things about this prolific Canadian, and though I am not this individual and do not share his political views I can't help but feel disgusted about the lack of good things said about our collective name. I feel defensive of this other Adam T. Yoshida, even though we've never met each other or directly corresponded. It sounds superficial, but that's how I feel. I'm kind of surprised that no Adam T. Yoshida hater has left any comments on this blog, but then again once you read Higo Blog it should be pretty clear that it isn't written by the Canadian Adam T. Yoshida. For now, I am operating under the assumption that I am the only American Adam T. Yoshida in existence.


Yo! Jimbo Blog

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Jamie "Slice Bush" Mackay has started up The Republic of Mackistan, chronicling his experiences as a JET in Aso-gun. Here's a little excerpt:

Imagine you have been sent to a new land, virtually unreachable from the home you used to know. Upon arrival in this truly "foreign" country, you are shipped off like a newly acquired zoo animal (Cuddly Dominion) to a ginormous pit in the earth, put on exhibit for all to see. This massive dent in the earth is surrounded by sheer walls of rock 500 meters high, unclimbable except for a breed of animals known as "shogakkusei," which are mysteriously and ritualistically herded up and down these walls every year. Within the natural barriers of earth lies a giant volcano spewing its deadly sulfur breath into the air as a constant reminder that your existence is at NATURE's mercy.

Jamie and I shared in a fair share of good/interesting times last year. We almost got blown away during a hippie music festival on top of Mt. Aso, went hitchhiking through half of Kyushu (come to think of it, this qualifies as part of the hitchhiking experience), and have dazed recollections of past parties and hashes. Keep on eye on his blog to see what life in Aso as an obvious gaijin is all about.

Mr. Sparkle-vision

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Ed Ricketts (biography) and John Steinbeck are two names that are synonymous with Monterey's Cannery Row. Looking at the pickled creatures in large bottles of formaldehyde, and the primitive scientific instruments and texts with which they were studied, I get goose bumps and feel my enthusiasm flare up just thinking about going out to a rich sea, capturing specimens, and scrutinizingly recording over every detail later. In the Sea of Cortez, you could make more discoveries, see more mind-blowing creatures with vibrant colors and fascinating behaviors, and participate in the noble quest for expanding our collective knowledge.

These experiences sound like a great time, even considering that living on a ship entails certain hardships such as lack of privacy, equilibrium imbalance issues, being confined in a very small space with a limited number of people, and having to post watch in the middle of the night to make sure that the boat is safe. Besides, you get to fight epic battles with beautiful, ferocious fish, hopefully resulting in some seafood to supplement the provisions.

I am only on the first pages of the log of the scientific expedition, undertaken by the Sea of Cortez Expedition and Education Project, and I am already hooked. Bill Gilly's (the chief scientist) statement of purpose seems to really resonate with the image that I have of Doc Ricketts- an approach to studying marine biology that blends the passion of one's hobby(using hobby as the Japanese definition of spending all of your free time and money on) with the uncompromising work ethic for one's chosen profession. The sea is our last terrestrial frontier, and holds many more surprises than we know.

M. Curie Onsen

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Smoking is legal, so why shouldn't taking a radon bath be? It's probably not a wise decision, but people have the right to give themselves cancer. However, it is a stupid thing to do because there are so many other onsens to choose from that have specialties of a more benign and pleasant nature. Why not go to Aso Farmland and bathe in wine, herbs, and flowers, go to Kurokawa and dunk your body in bitter cold mountain river water after soaking in minerals and heat and absorbing the abundant natural beauty, or get buried in sand after relaxing in a volcanic mud bath in Kagoshima? Going to the onsen allows one the sorely needed time to reflect and to analyze and learn from their stupidity (post hash wound examination and cleaning, nomihodai futsukayoi detox, etc). Developing cancer after routinely going to the radon onsen, one would seriously ask one's self "What the f*** was I thinking?" and then agonize over it. Now wouldn't that be ironic- a place of relaxation being the source of worry and stress.

Countries Visited

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Where have you been? So far, I have only traveled North of the equator. Gotta get down south one of these days.

You're Welcome

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HK Cinema, Tarantino Style

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I am looking forward to Tarantino's future Kung-Fu movie, which is supposedly taking precedence over Inglorious Bastards (currently in production). I predict that the dubbed version (the film will be in Mandarin, with English subtitles on another version) will be most excellent. Will Pai Mei make it into this movie???

Runoff Salad

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Round-up, the most widely used herbicide in the world, is nothing but bad news. It is not a long term option for agricultural use, and if you have it you should throw it away, stop being so lazy, and pick those weeds out with some gardening tools or your hands instead. Although the herbicide portion of Round-up has been extensively tested in the labs, the emulsificant that binds it to vegetation has not, and its effects on human health and the environment are yet to be well documented (What happens when it gets carried away as runoff and is absorbed by water, soil, and living organisms?). But lets look at what we do know.

Nature finds a way to overcome challenges whether it be from predation or some other environmental pressure, in this case poison. Most plants sprayed by Round-up will die, but given enough time a plant resistant to Round-up will emerge, crafted to survive and to distribute its code, effectively circumventing this particular poison and thriving in the lack of competition.

Screwing with a crop's genes to make it resistant to the poison gives the crop the unnatural advantage of already having the right traits to survive, but this advantage is finite and will eventually cease to be an advantage when the other plants evolve. It becomes quite clear, that much like any other Green Revolution technology, this is a short-term strategy (Green Revolution agricultural practices are inherently unsustainable because they mostly depend on petrochemicals to develop chemical fertilizers, pesticides, herbicides, other poisons, and also to power agricultural machinery. Yes, petroleum is a finite source, unless you don't mind for solar energy to be stored in biomass and then for that to be acted on by geological pressure and other conditions for a very, very long time. When the oil dries up, new solutions or materials must be found in order to continue which will most likely signal the next agricultural revolution, or at least a major innovation).

Alarmingly, the possibility of genetic leakage into the environment has not been sufficiently addressed. To what extent do engineered species' genes spread throughout the native population, and what implications does this have for the environment and us? No one really knows, and the big corporations like Monsanto have no interest in addressing this because it would be an added cost and likely yield results that would advocate a more cautious approach to genetic engineering. Well, it was only a matter of time before such recklessness bit us in the ass. Check out this story about Round-up resistant coca plants. Is this the first clear example of genetic engineering being used by rogue scientists, or is it merely the result of natural selection?

If that got your attention, why not read about the Terminator technology(and here) that Monsanto has developed. Or about stealing the genetic heritage (this is, interestingly an IPR issue) of farmers that don't know any better or don't have the resources to do anything about it(scroll down to no. 4). The bottom line is that Monsanto's products and services are designed and sold in order to maximize profits, as are most successful businesses. I'm not saying that seeking to maximize profits is a bad thing, but when the interests of an elite few compete with health, social, and environmental well-being of everyone else it's time to start paying close attention.

pwn3d Nigerian

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Remember the letter I got from Mr. Folorunso of Nigeria? It seems that one of his colleagues fell for the ol' switcheroo, skillfully grifted by "Father Hector"! Classic.

Interesting MP3 Players

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Check out these 2 new head-mounted mp3 players:

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This mp3 player conducts sound through your cheekbone. The player sticks to the back of your head and two cable-attached conductors clip onto your goggles, like Lando Calrisian's Bald Cyborg Cheif of Security on Cloud City. Can you put this on a diving mask and listen while you're out SCUBA diving?How deep can you take this thing before the pressure damages it? And how are you supposed to use these if you go out surfing (like it says in this article), do you need to wear gogs? If so, how do you deal with all of the other surfers pointing and laughing at you? Costs $239.95 and holds 128MB.

Oakley Thump-
MP3 player mounted on to the arms of a pair of Oakleys. The buds branch out on a pair of legs into your ear canals, and the lenses flip up so you can let everyone know just how geeky you really are. How does the Thump handle, oh... say, a faceplant (or more likely, several) after botching a big jump, smacking down hard on compacted snow? One thing is for certain: the Thump will give you a very distinctive, butt ugly raccoon mask after a weekend at Mammoth. Costs $495, holds 256MB, and has polarized lenses. A 128MB, non-polarized version is available, but why the heck would you say no to double the memory and polarized lenses for just another C note?


Of course, for the IPod people there is the U2 IPod Special Edition-
A new color scheme and the signatures of the band members on the back, along with a $50 coupon for U2's soon to be released complete anthology. This MP3 player doesn't really make for a good comparison for the ones listed above, but inevitably serves as the mp3 player to which all others are judged. Really, it's just a regular IPod in new clothing- can't easily mount to your skull, doesn't come with polarized lenses, and is not waterproof, but it has 20GB. Except that its the Boooooooner Special Edition. Buy one and stand out from your fellow IPod people, but not really. 20Gigs, $349, white earphones, and Boner written on the back of your IPod!

Awaji Underground

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There is a secret lair, hidden inside of a junk-filled bunker under a seaside hotel/resort in Sumoto City, Awaji Shima. Getting into the cave required some minor climbing and acrobatics, and only when I had gotten inside did it become apparent that someone had been here first, and had claimed it as their own. Someone has obviously spent a lot of time bombing out the joint with conventional painting supplies and the Japanese equivalent of Krylon. Among the layers of detritus left behind by stormy waters and past gatherings were an aluminum boat, a scavenged table with four milk crate seats, a few nasty, funky futons, and other stuff that might have been litter or someone's property. It's always an interesting time when a regular outing unexpectedly turns into a modern-day anthropological/archaeological expedition. I wonder if the masked teenagers who go racing around late at night on their loud motorcycles, leading the local cops on long, dragged out chases are the same guys who chill out here. I think I'll just leave that as an unknown to indulge my imaginations.
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*note: the chamber on the corner is separated from the lair by a concrete wall, so if you look in the closest openings, all you can see are the remains of a rusted out septic tank that has been filled with rubble.

AAAughhhhhhhh!!!!!

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I just came back with a mixed 6 pack of imported beer ready to rock, and just before popping them open I was informed that they were ALL NON-ALCOHOLIC! Damn it!!!

Creative License

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What is that Creative Commons tag that you see on the bottom of many blogs, and why is it important? Check out this article that deals with not only copywrite issues of written word, but also music and video. It is interesting how Hilary Rosen, long percieved as "the Man" incarnate by people who oppose the RIAA, views the potential of Creative Commons in the present and future of the music industry.

When Will They Learn?

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It seems that the engineers at Disneyland in Anaheim are trying to work out a way of restoring the speed to the teacups in an effort to return the Magic Kingdom to its former glory (here's the link over at CNN)This is a smart move, but it is just one of many things that they must do in order to make people want to return there.

Justin wrote about this earlier in this post. I have a hunch that we are not the only native Californians who have grown up with fond memories of blasting cans and varmints with lightbeams with flintlock muskets, getting reprimanded for ramming into the rear fender of friends and siblings while tasting two-stroke lawnmower-grade exhaust in the muscle car inspired Autopia, looking for treasure and living fish while diving in yellow submarines, and seeing that hippo eat some well deserved lead on a cruise through the African jungle (Notice it was the jungle back then, as in a journey into Conrad's Heart of Darkness. It was not the modern romanticized, wussified, tree-hugging, granola eating friendly term "rain forest" because back then a "rich, dynamic biodiversity" meant that there were a lot of different things that were out to eat or pester you.). Like New Coke, the changes to the original formula must go because, quite simply, they suck.

I don't know about how Universal Studios Los Angeles has changed since I've been here, but Japan's USJ has it down. Before Downtown Disney(the mall outside of Dland), the Universal Citywalk was a pretty cool place to go and chill on a free day and provided a good variety of decent places to eat (Tommy's, Gladstones, etc...). This design was successfully copied (or more accurately, interpreted) in Osaka, and I recommend getting some ribs at the Chicago Rib Factory if you are there with a huge mug of porter (this is the first porter I have spotten in Japan, anywhere!) to wash it down with. As for inside the park, it has all of the standard attractions (T2 show, Jurassic Park, Back to the Future, etc...) and some things that you won't find in L.A.. The show that they put on right before closing combines dancers, speedboats tugging acrobatic kites, water jets/lights/lazers in syncronized bursts, and lots of fireworks. Their mainstreet is a trip, not even remotely accurate to the Beverly Hills and Hollywood streets that it portrays- it is the material equivalent of what Japanese people think it is after watching a lot of "Beverly Hills, 90210", "Beverly Hills Cop", "Tough Guys" (anyone remember this Heston movie?) type media. I can not describe the sensation brought on by hearing the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" song from the animated TV show blaring in a back alley, next to one of the "studios" The standout rides were (predictably) Spiderman, Shrek (not a ride, technically) and (unexpectedly) Jaws.

Spiderman kicked ass, but I don't like hearing him speak in Japanese. If I had my way, there would be subtitles translating what he said, but maybe that's just me. It's a mix between the Star Tours/Back to the Future ride on a track that changes rooms. Go check it out.

Shreck is set up as a regular movie theatre, but the chairs moved with the movie, and it sprayed water droplets, pneumatic bursts, and fog to bring the audience into the story. These elements combine quite effectively, and the only thing that was missing was incorporating a form of Smell-o-Vision into it (the cotton candy scent of the mist doesn't count).

Jaws is a current version of how the Jungle Cruise was envisioned as being when it was first concieved. In fact, it's a rip off of the JC except that the environment of the ride is a prop for the main star instead of the main attraction in itself. The tour guides, much like those in the old days of the JC, relish in their (intentionally) cartoonish schtick as the apathetic/spazzy/inexperienced/ADD kid who didn't take his damned riddlin skipper, telling corny jokes and blasting away at Jaws with... A huge pump shotgun! Pyrotechnics, a lurching ride, and not caving into the anti-violence whinings of offended PC weaklings make for a refreshing experience. I'm not saying that the Jungle Cruise and Frontier Land should have large shotguns, but that they should return to how they were twenty years ago. In fact, I prefer the nostalgic six-shooter chrome plated cap gun in the jungle context because it belongs there.

Until Disneyland is freed from the tyranny of minority of over-sensitive pansy crybabies, it will continue to wither away and alienate those of us who remember how it was and how it should be.

If you really must have something new and revolutionary to unveil at Disneyland, here it is: Stop serving nasty food at your fast food counters and give us what we will gladly pay for(not all of them are nasty, but the one in Tomorrowland under the rockets is). Return the authentic barbecue to Frontierland, next to the murderous Big Thunder Mountain rollercoaster. Nothing ruins a good day like a steamed hamburger and limp, cold french fries and knowing that you paid too much for it. And pass out shotguns for the Small World ride. Now THAT, would generate interest and attract a whole new as of yet untapped demographic to the Magic Kingdom.

Why Sampling is a Good Thing

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Wired has a great article with a big interview with the B Boys, Thievery Corporation, Dan The Automator, Chuck D., Danger Mouse, etc... When is that new Nakamura tape gonna drop?

Hot Frontier Action

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The tiny blanket fails in hiding the Cheif's enthusiastic undertaking.

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During a long cattle drive through the arid lands of the Southwest, sometimes cowboys were forced to use what was readily available on the trail to feed orphaned calves. Occasionally, these practices developed into something different.

When I hear the word Taliban my hardwired neural response has brought up images of terrorists, Osama Bin Laden, and Afghanistan catalogued from National Geographic articles, James Michener's words, and old news clips. I hadn't thought about the huge Buddha statues that they destroyed since before the U.S. initiated a regime change, but I haven't forgotten about it. I remember watching the reports about the Buddhas in the Hindu Kush being blown up and feeling a deep sense of despair, even though I am not Buddhist.

It seems that there are plans being made to sort through the broken pieces to reconstruct the Buddha of Bamiyan from the many pieces (check out this article at Discover Magazine). Apparently, some researchers were able to make a 3-D model of the Buddha by using the collective data of digital photographs. Another group is analyzing the distribution of specific materials used to construct different parts of the statue with the hope that this information might help to fit the pieces together precisely how they were to before the TNT.

The article also mentions that it is likely that a statue of a Sleeping Buddha is located nearby, just waiting to be excavated. It's kind of ironic that this Buddha is safe (if it still exists) due to the Taliban's own actions. If further excavation had been allowed in 1979, that Buddha might have been destroyed as well. It will be interesting to see how these archaological projects develop. I think that it would be cool if they could rebuild the Buddha of Bamiyan from the sum of its parts.

This article also reminds me of the Buddha of Leshan story, which any JET will recall reading and repeating to their students, possibly for the speech contest, if they have used the New Horizon textbooks in their Chugakko. That story was one of the rare few which I didn't mind reading aloud 3 times in a row, unlike the one about the aincent tree narating its memory of seeing a little girl and boy die from radiation poisoning at the end of WWII. It is a powerful story, but quite painful in a different sort of way to hear 20 times in a row, narrated by student after student in the same theatrical style.

You are the Champon, My Friend

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Mark just set up Chimpo...er...uh..I mean Champon Adventures, representing the last of us in Kumamoto City. Now I expect he will have something to do at work besides looking for pr0n, but only time will tell.

Recruiting a New A-Team

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Apparently they are planning on making a movie. I always wanted to see someone actually get hit by a bullet, just once. The plan sounds good so far.

Just one question. Who can they find to play the part of BA that won't be a dissapointment? It had better not be Ving Rhames, Bob Sapp, or Deebo from Friday. What if they made B.A. into a white guy and gave the part to Vin Diesel? Expect the worst, hope for the best.

Kyushu Danshi Reunion

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I have been up for more than 24 hours now, and have good memories of meeting up with Luke, Mark, and Manami, who came up for capoeira and sightseeing respectively. The capoeira meet was crazy (Justin put up his pics here)- I can only say that it was like watching contortionist gymnists sparing with eachother pumped up on amphetamines. Luke held his own against all who took him on, despite their initial attempts to haze him. Respect, biotches...

We met up with Mark and Manami after at the after party and after-after party and proceeded to drink like old times. Some choice individual words will give an impression of the night out:

congas and djembes
unexpected huge matsuri in Namba
dijiradoo
techno nunchakus
long island ice tea
kinryu (different from the chain down in Kyushu) ramen
internet cafe vs. karaoke (debating where to catch some sleep at 4 in the morning- internet cafe won)

Damn. I miss nights out with the old crew- The Fingerhut brothers, Joe, Danny, Jason, Matt, Luke, and everyone else who used to come out to drink, cause trouble, and find any excuse to celebrate something with a get together or party. We may have all gone our separate ways, but when our paths will cross there is one thing for certain. Some pretty interesting things will happen in quick succession.

The Usuki Magaibutsu

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Oita remains one of my favorite areas of Kyushu to explore. After work, I'd often hop in my car and drive in the general direction of either Beppu (on the Yamanami Highway) or Oita city (on the 57), and check out signs, attractions, unmarked roads, and other promising prospects that would cross my path. On one of these excursions, while driving through Usuki City (near the coast) I happened upon this place.

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Osaka Aquarium

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I doubt if I will ever find an aquarium that will ursurp Monterey Bay Aquarium as my favorite,

(Besides being the first ones to successfully keep bluefin in their tanks, right now they have a GREAT WHITE SHARK collected off of HUNTINGTON BEACH on exhibit, and VIDEO of it feeding in captivity. MBA, in my eyes, is just simply put the best aquarium in the world. On a side note, three years ago my sister Merin took her beginning sailing class out of Newport harbor, just minutes South of Huntington Beach, and saw a huge congregation of boats circled around something. She decided to return to the Orange Coast College docks, and found out that the boats were watching two white sharks feasting on the carcass of a dead whale. It will be interested to see if and what white sharks predate on around Huntington, as I don't recall any attacks on surfers around this area (probably because there are not many seals and sealions anymore), or if they just use the area as a sort of nursery or something. By the way, this program that surveys pelagic marine animals is worth a look as well.)

but I have to say that Japan does its aquariums very well. Among the aquariums I have visited in Japan, Osaka Kaiyukan ranks among my favorites. Kagoshima City aquarium is also very well done, and located right across from the still-active volcano, Sakura-jima, which sits in the middle of Kagoshima Bay (my favorite exhibit was the electric eel tank where the voltometer, mounted above the tank, measured the electric discharge that the eel uses to stun its prey during feeding time). My other favorite aquarium is in Okinawa, the Churaumi Aquarium. If you happen to go diving and miss out on seeing giant mantas and whale sharks, you can head over here and see them no problem. In fact, you can see whale sharks (not the largest specimens, but still quite impressive) at all three of these exhibits. One thing I did notice is that 5 years ago, Osaka had a pair of whale sharks, but now there is only one. I wonder what happened to the other one.

Coming To Our Senses, Eh?

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The Canadians seem to be doing something right with one of their waste disposal programs. Using indicators that were traditionally ignored, meaning indicators other than straight economic data, to measure the benefits of their program (and factoring in quantified costs extrapolated from externalities) is a great leap forward on how we measure our environmental and social impacts. I never really thought I'd see any progress in North America for a long time (regarding applied sustainability theory- we always had examples from the small community level that we'd study and discuss- rarely something really big in scale as this), but am happy that the theory and ideas that I studied back in my Environmental Studies classes in Santa Barbara are actually being successfully implemented on a large scale. One of my favorite parts from this article states that the community had a large part in making the program work. Seeing what this community has done together is inspiring.

Kyushoku

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Fried chikuwa (fish cake) in curry (yello) and aonori (green) batter.
Beansprout, carrot, and cucumber salad.
Chicken based soup with carrots and gobo (burdock root).
Gohan (rice) with an umeboshi (pickled plum).
Nori (seaweed).

In Japanese schools, ranging from hoikuen (nursery school) to chugakko (junior high school), children are usually provided with meals called kyushoku. Depending on where the school is located, kyushoku can range from factory produced pre-packaged slop (a usual complaint of city JETs) to locally produced balanced and healthy meals. Luckily, my school fell in the second category and I decided to document what I ate at school on the 13 separate occasions that I remembered to take pictures at lunch.

These Kyushoku were made by women who live in Ubuyama and planned out by the nutritionist, Mrs. Umei. All of the meals are carefully planned out to provide a balance of protein, carbohydrates, vitamins, minerals, fiber, and other important dietary components. When I first started eating kyushoku I could only finish half of the meals and had to take the rest home. It is commonly observed that teachers gain weight after being transfered to Ubuyama because of the size of the servings (this is a matter of meal size, not of meal content).

It is interesting to note that the Japanese school system started encouraging the students to incorporate new things into their diet after the U.S. occupation. Milk, bread, and meat products were uncommon if not completely absent before the end of the war in the Pacific. All of the old people I have talked to about this tend to agree: the Japanese started to grow bigger with the change in diet, and today's Japanese youths are some pretty big and healthy kids. If you don't believe me go to any high school's judo practice and then see what you think.

Note: Every day, milk is included as part of a balanced meal. The milk is produced and packaged locally in Ubuyama.

Be sure to check out School of Rice, a new site authored by me and my brother. It will chronicle some of the riced out rides that we happen upon and other things that fit under the paradigm of the School of Rice.

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This entry marks the end of my life in Ubuyama-mura, and so I am retiring my old banner for a new one. I think it is a good image for the blog up until now, but it is time to move on and to start afresh.

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I have been meaning on posting pictures from all around Ubuyama with the purpose of making my own guide to the village for a long time, and today I finally sat down and did it.

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I was pleasantly surprised to find that the great majority of signs in my village are labeled in Japanese and English. I do wish that they kept the sign as "Pubic Office" for the picture's sake.

Ubuyama is a really small village with a population under 1,800 and falling. There just aren't an abundance of jobs and young people tend to move out of the village in pursuit of employment, relationships (there just aren't many young people around), or entertainment. Lacking these staples of life, many would ask "Why would you choose to live in some place so remote?". Well, I can tell you that the reason why I stayed 2 years were for the children, the natural setting, and being in the center of Kyushu. I loved teaching here because the younger children were so enthusiastic about learning and because I felt that I was making a difference in their lives.

I enjoyed teaching at middle school too, but I didn't get to set curriculum and the students tended to lose their enthusiasm for English due to the radical change in lessons. From nursery school until elementary, the lessons were full of games and conversational English, but from their first day in junior high school without any transitional period, they were pushed to learn by rote memorization and much of the fun and spontaneity instantly vanished. Luckily, some of the kids retained their interest, and I tried to keep their attention by making unconventional lessons and incorporating games whenever I had the opportunity.

But this post isn't supposed to be about my teaching experiences, it's about introducing Ubuyama from my perspective. For this, I will examine the village as a whole and then break down Ubuyama into three main areas: Hokubu (Northern Ubuyama), Yamaga (Central Ubuyama), and Nambu (Southern Ubuyama).

Upper Management Skills

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Looking back at my many past jobs, I always suspected that a few of my bosses and managers were psychopaths.

They Sell What?

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Taken in Ichinomiya. I think the place was a coffee shop.

Bomb Has Been Planted

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Sometimes in real life I slip into FPS mode, where I methodically search the environment for targets to engage. This usually switches on when I am walking down a dark hallway or alley. Luckily, no one has jumped out at me so I haven't had to shank them with my keys(and hopefully I never will have to do so).

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Why do they use the term "dust box" instead of "trash/garbage can"?

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The restrooms at Daikanbo provide CTs (counter-terrorists) with the schematics to perform a hostage rescue, should the need ever arise.

Hi, I'm In Delaware...

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The most boring wine ever.

Civic

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My car has served me well during our last two years together. Without my Civic, I would have gone insane. It performed well in hot weather (albeit without air conditioning in the Kyushu heat), the pouring rain, and on snow-covered, icy roads. We have travelled the Milk Road countless times, and have discovered places that few people will ever see. I will truly miss it, and will remember it as fondly as my Legend from back home.
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When I got the car, it had 160000 km on it. During two years, I put about 35,000 on it without any major problems. After owning two cars made by Honda and driving them in all conditions, I have nothing but good things to say about them.
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Here's to two years of adventures and almost 200,000km.

Sex Ed As Explained By Core 21

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All The Little Live Things

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Living and traveling around Kyushu, I saw all sorts of strange, beautiful, disgusting, and fascinating creatures. Here are a few that I encountered in my last few weeks around.

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A butterfly at Daikanbo. On this day, the clouds were sweeping up and over the caldera toward Kuju.

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This spider wove a white zig-zag pattern into its web. I think that some species do this so that birds and other larger creatures don't run into their webs (supposedly insects are still oblivious to it). Also taken at Daikanbo in Northern Aso.

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I have found that bees are easily photographed because they stay put until they're finished collecting nectar and pollen. This was taken at Higothai Koen in the Hokubu region of Ubuyama.

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This phesant's face reminds me of some early Japanese anime series whose name I cannot remember. I took this picture at the Kumamoto Zoological and Botanical Park in Kumamoto, near Suizenji Park.

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Japanese Zoos make me sad. I don't want to visit them because the animals are often in a pitiful state. If you notice, the polar bear has a GREEN coat. That's from algae growing in it's fur. I have also witnessed a fuzzy green crocodile and a green hippopotimus in the Beppu zoo. If you can't take care of an animal properly, then you should not be allowed to keep them. No exceptions.

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Kuniko and I spent an hour playing with this turtle in Suizenji Koen. It would rush over whenever we tossed pebbles in the pond, and it was fun making it swim back and forth and in circles. When we went to see sumo, we spotted another turtle next to the road. I picked it up and shotputted it, and it made a satisfying ker-plunk, disappearing among the water lillies.

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This was a toad that Joe found at a small neighborhood matsuri in Kyokushi. He gave it to his kids and they killed it in about 15 minutes. Oh well, I hope they had fun squishing it.

Higothai Koen Pics

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Earlier, I erroneously posted a thistle that I thought to be the village flower of Ubuyama called the Higothai. These are pictures of the real flower, which should right now be coming into full bloom. The first two were taken in the Hokubu region of Ubuyama and the last one was at Daikanbo on the Northern section of the rim of the Aso Caldera.

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In Purgatory

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I am stuck with using the school's computers to access the internet, and so I don't think I will be posting until I reach Justin's house (around the 12th of August). Right now I'm just helping Jane to settle into Ubuyama, saying goodbye to friends and people who have helped me out for the past two years, and searching for my next job.

Everyone is going their separate ways, and yet I feel OK. The one thing I do know is that I made the right decision to leave at the right time. I'm looking forward to living in Kansai for a while...

Lightning Crashes

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The skies have been constantly illuminated with flashes of lightning, accompanied by rolling thunder, for the past four days. I rather enjoy the experience of seeing, hearing, feeling, and smelling lightning. On Saturday, we were on top of Mt. Aso, looking into the steam that was obscuring the view of the liquid hot magma when the air filled with static electricity (causing everyone's hair to stand up, but not really changing mine at all), and a bolt struck very near by. The coppery tang of ozone filled the air, and we were ushered off the mountain by the staff. Everyone started to cough and wheeze and some were running down the peak to their cars. The air had filled with sulphuric acid particles, and it was not pleasant to breathe in. As far as I know, no one was injured (every year, a few people usually die on Mt. Aso due to inhaling poisonous gasses).

The thunder and lightning have been accopanied by heavy, heavy rain. The rain falls so heavily that it is dangerous to drive because visibility becomes nearly zero, and rivers instantly form in the street, collecting into small ponds that can cause engines to stall. Tsuyu didn't skip this year after all, it just came a little late.

It's amazing to see how hard everyone is working to make my old house super-clean. I'm not bitter about this, but it pisses me off when I'm cleaning next to someone, and they say "Your old supervisor forgot to do this for you. What a shame" or "I betcha wish you had this new (fill in the blank) when you first moved in, huh?". By the way, the apartment was clean before everyone came over because Merin and I did it. They're just polishing everything up, and I think Jane(my successor) will be pleased with the results.

I'm using this opportunity to try and improve the apartment as much as possible, and to get them to buy things that I would have liked to have had. They seem baffled that I am leaving stuff behind. Like I said, it's hard enough just living in such a small, isolated community without having to worry about a shower that spouts only scalding hot water, a toilet that takes 10 minutes to fill up, a bathtub that spontaneously generates millipede spawn, a kitchen so cold that three inch long icicles form from the faucet, and going shopping for stuff that you need to maintain your comfort and sanity.

Thunder is booming in the distance, and the semi are buzzing in the forests as I am finishing this post. Tomorrow my successor will come to fill my vacancy, bringing my time here to an end. Merin is going home today, and most of my friends are leaving on separate paths into a future, each with their own tentative plans. Matt is going back to Huntington Beach, Joe is going to workin Colorado for a while, Jason is off to Spain, Joe Fingerhut and Michiyo are got married and moving back to the States, Yuka and Jorge also just recently tied the knot and will be in Guam for a year before moving to Texas, Kaori is now settled in Tosu, Kikuko is in Aso-machi, but some people will still be holding down the fort here (Mark, Dave, Jamie et al). After all of the recent goodbyes, I am ready to start up North in Kansai. I will be around in Ubuyama until the 5th of August, and in Kumamoto until the 9th. After that, it's off to Osaka to find work and a new pad.

By the way, I never posted on this but the Mayor of Kumamoto's speech is still fresh in my memory. Two weeks ago at the departing JET ceremony she gave a speech in Japanese, and the P.A. translated it into English. I was impressed by her stage presence and listened to her Japanese and the English interpretation, noticing the slight differences between the real and the translated versions. In the middle of the speech I was shocked to hear her say "Do you like Kumamoto? Have you had a good time here during your time on JET? I hope you have enjoyed your stay in Kumamoto, and that you will bring back the good memories that you have with you. You are all welcome to come back to Kumamoto whenever you like, and we will consider you as honorary members of Kumamoto-ken. However, if you didn't have a good time and don't have anything nice to say about Kumamoto, there is no need for you to ever come back here."

The last sentence was changed to:

"However, if you didn't have a good time in Kumamoto, I still hope that you had an interesting time over here." (after hearing this butchered version, I barely was able to supress my "Wha!" so that only the people sitting next to me heard, thank goodness...).

This was ironic as Japanese people are stereotyped as always implying things instead of just saying what they mean, and the image of a gaijin is of a person who acts or speaks before fully considering the implications of their actions. A Japanese person spoke her mind, ignoring a subtle approach and cutting through the crap. The American was the one that filtered out the real meaning and interpreted it into a polite, superficial flowery piece of fluff. Kumamoto is lucky to have her.

Merin was holding the ladder for me, when she brushed up against these caterpillars and noticed that the little bastards had envenomated her.

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So I did what any responsible older brother would do. I cut off the three leaves that held 50 of the evil creatures, put them on top of a pile of kerosene-soaked paper towels, and we sent them back to the sulphorous pits from whence they came. It was a Viking style pyre, honoring these worthy adversaries as they burned.

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(taken with Merin's A1304AT).

I remember watching a program on the Discovery Channel about these critters, and the effects of their toxins on humans. The lady on the program who got stung went into anaphylactic shock, and her pulmonary system shut down causing her to go into cardiac arrest. Merin just got a nasty rash with a burning sensation, probably because she took Benadryl right after getting stung (Thanks Mika!).

Was it wrong to kill these caterpillars? I don't think so because my neighbor regularly brushes up against those leaves when she tends her garden, and there are plenty more of them in the upper canopy that are doing quite fine. I think she'll be happy that they're gone. Was it really necessary to burn them? Yes, yes it was. They inflicted a burning sensation, so it was only fair for them to feel the burn for themselves.

I am frustruated with my Board of Education and with a principal with whom I work with, as they are putting me in the worst sort of position. I feel an obligation to help prepare my successor for her new life in Ubuyama-mura and to prepare the village for her. Everyone is very concerned about having a female ALT (all three previous JETs have been male), and so there is a flurry of last minute preparations being made in order to make sure that she will not be scared away by the living conditions in Ubuyama.

I understand and support their decision to fix everything that has been broken in my apartment for these two years, and feel good for the next JET. I initially felt jealous for the great efforts they are making to renovate this place, but I am glad they are doing it, because it is hard enough acclimating to living deep in the inaka as it is.

Lately, the BOE and principal have been making many demands of me to meet the hastily devised renovation plans in my apartment, including giving me short notice to get my stuff out and to clean the apartment. I was irritated, but I understood their concerns, and so have gone along with it as best as I could. However, I find myself feeling angry, disappointed, and regretful at a time where I should be enjoying the rich pains of leaving behind the kids who I have come to love, and other good friends.

The principal and the BOE have shoved me into a corner regarding my car. As I am trying to help out in any capacity that I can, I have been providing any information that they ask for without hesitataion. Last night at the farewell enkai, the principal asked me what I planned on doing with my car. I explained that I was going to sell it, and had notified my successor of the cost, condition, and improvements made to the car. He told me that she should not have to buy my car, and so I explained that I recently paid the vehicle tax and inspection tax (shakken) to the tune of 40,000 yen and 130,000 yen respectively, and was asking a fair price considering the money that I put into the car. After all, the shakken is good for 1 and a half more years! In addition, I have spent money on improving and keeping the car well maintained, so that it is running better than when I first got it. He argued that no one drives cars that old in Japan, and I pointed out that almost all of the JETs drive cars that old. I told him that my intention was not to take advantage of my successor, and that I was open to suggestions, and he replied that a friend could give her a car for free. When I said "Thats great, what type of car will he give her?" he replied "That was just an example (there is no free car).". I asked what the cheapest price that my successor could hope to buy a used car for is, and he replied 200,000 yen. I pointed out that the price that I was asking for (70,000 yen) was less that the other JETs had offered their old cars for, but this didn't make much of an impression on him. I ended the conversation by suggesting that we further discuss the matter.

This afternoon, I got called into the BOE by the new supervisor, a man whom I get along with rather well. It became aparent that the principal had taken the liberty of going behind my back, and telling my supervisor to talk to me. He offered me two options: junking my car (at most likely a loss of income- cost of junking the car but getting a partial refund for the car tax) or handing over ownership to my successor with a suggestion that asking for any money would be an unacceptable course of action. Because of this, I may have to sell the car to a friend instead of selling it for a reasonable price to my successor (who will need a car to stay sane in this village. now, she will probably just have to pay three times as much to get one.).

Let me say this: I understand the BOE's and principal's recent actions are the result of their deep-seeded concerns about the impression that they cast on the first female ALT to come to Ubuyama. I support their efforts, and wish her the best of luck, and I am staying for about 10 days past my contract VOLUNTARILY WITHOUT PAY to help show her around and to help the BOE get things settled. I don't think it's too much to expect the professional courtesy of receiving sufficient notice about when they want me out of my apartment, about letting me know when I am to give farewell speeches and when the ceremonies are (considering that I am the obstensibly the one for whom the ceremonies are being held), and I surely expect that I would be treated with the professional courtesy of DISCUSSING points of disagreement instead of talking behind my back and not trying to see things from my perspective. They wouldn't do this to a Japanese person, so what makes them think it is acceptable to do this to a gaijin (oh, wait... I think I answered my own question)?

I feel that I have worked my hardest to fulfill my duties as a JET, as both a representative of the United States (I don't fancy myself as an ambassador, but realize that I am one of only two Americans that these kids have met and know that they associate me with the whole of America in some ways) in Japan and as a teacher. I have gone out of my way to make myself useful, and have done things like setting up an English club run out of my house free of charge to my students. I have taken an active interest in studying about teaching methods during my free time and implementing them in class, often staying after working hours to do a good job. I have made a point of learning the customs and studying Japanese to bridge the language gap between us. Is it really too much to ask for a little consideration, professionalism, and consideration of ethical behavior in the workplace in return? As much as I will miss the students, I most definetely will not miss the treachery, insincerety, or the incompetence I have witnessed during my two years. The speeches made about how much I am appreciated for my efforts have lost all meaning, as dishonest actions have revealed the words to contain little integrety. I would have had more respect had the principal called me a worthless gaijin in front of the whole village and revealed how I was truly regarded.

These qualities are not held by the majority of those with whom I work, only by a few individuals. On the contrary, I was quite shocked by this behavior because it greatly contrasts the values held by almost all of the teachers, faculty, and others working in Ubuyama-mura.

To end on a positive note, I believe that the JET Programme is a great program that has a positive net effect both on the Japanese society in which it works as a part of the educational system and on its participants. I belive that negative attitudes and widely held false beliefs of Japanese people about foreign languages, cultures, and peoples are slowly changing. I do not regret my time on JET, as I feel that I have made a difference.

I have noticed a marked improvement on the confidence and abilities of my students. They have learned about different cultures (not just in my class, as I work with many good teachers), and have a genuine interest about people that are different from themselves. Watching the students grow and mature into the curious, enthusiastic learners that they are today has made me feel really good about investing two years into this community. The students are the ones who are greatful for my efforts, paying me back with their rapt attention. It is them, along with some of the other wonderful people I have had the honor of meeting in this small community, that I will miss. Goodbye and farewell, but I fear I shall never return Ubuyama, except for the Ubuyama in my mind.

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The Shogakkos of Ubuyama-mura

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I translated this from Japanese last year, and just found it as I was looking through old documents. These are the elementary schools where I have worked for these past two years.

Our Village
Yamaga Elementary School is located in the northern region of Ubuyama-mura, at an altitude of 640 meters. The school was constructed in Showa 45 (1970), and the gymnasium was rebuilt in Heisei 8 (1996). Northern Ubuyama covers a large area, so it is necessary for the children, who live in the southern part of the village, to ride on the bus to and from school.

Yamaga Elementary School is nestled among the scenic mountains. A forest sprawls out to the East, South, and West. Moreover, the mountains of Kuju (Oita Prefecture) can be seen to the North, off in the distance. To the West of the school, steps made of stone descend the mountain, leading to a large road. If you follow this road to the right, you will pass many points of interest. At the bottom of the slope (after passing through the tunnel), on the left hand side you will see (in this order) Ubuyama Junior High School, The Agricultural Cooperative Association(JAA), A-Mart, the Ubuyama Public Office, the Health Clinic, and a couple of gas stations. Across the street from the public office is a JA Bank, and the Post office.

Sweet Potato Digging
Each year the children of Yamaga Elementary School, and their parents, go hiking in the local mountains. Another interesting event is the rabbit hunt, after which the rabbits are used as the main ingredient in a rice dish, and also in a stew. In back of the school building, children enjoy using the playground for all sorts of outdoor activities.
A charcoal kiln is set up beside the playground where students are taught how to make charcoal.


Hokubu (Northern Ubuyama) Elementary School
Located in Northern Ubuyama is Hokubu Elementary School. A prefectural road stretches along the front of the school. On their way home, the children often pass through the cedar forests surrounding the school. The people of Hokubu look forward to attending various school events, such as the Harvest festival and the Source music festival.

Words About Teaching

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During my two years serving as the ALT for Ubuyama-mura, I have written some essays on teaching and compiled other resources. I took an extra interest in learning more about educational theory and how it could be applied to our work, constantly thinking about how English classes could be improved. Below are some of the materials that I was able to find(in MS Word format). I will continue to add others as I find them (I have been working on no less than 4 computers on a regular basis). Unfortunately, I can't post most of my lessons because the files are too large...

Essays and Presentation Material
Death To Engrish!!! Approaches To Improving English Education

Midyear Seminar Presentation: JTE and ALT Relations

Improving your relationship with your ALT/JTE

Things that you need to discuss with your JTE

Interactive Classroom Games And Other Resources

Explanation of Halloween in Japanese and English (used for NHK special, 2002)

Lesson Plans and Materials
Recommended Plan For the 2003-2004 School Year(Yamaga Shogakko)

Directions: How To Get From Here To There (a lesson plan)

Lesson: Family Tree

Cooking (料理をする) French Toast

Emergency English: How To Escape From A Sinking Car

Emergency English: How To Survive An Alligator Attack

Some simple English phrases

Chillin' with Snoop and Parappa

Sports worksheet (the katakana reflects a more genuine pronunciation of English, rather than correct Japanese)


Other Information
Video Games and Education (from Wired)

Last Lesson Finished

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It is 9:30 and I just finished teaching in Ubuyama for the last time. All of my classes are done, and although I still have until the 26th of this month on my contract, my real work here is finished. I spent my last lesson with my 3 nensei chugakkusei students providing guidance on how to translate Japanese sentences into English, and I was impressed by how far they have progressed. There are many bright students in this batch, and I will miss having the chance to chat, share lunch, and to dominate them at ping-pong (sometimes).

The educational system in Ubuyama is something special, as at shogakko and hoikuen I had creative license to create and modify the curriculum as I saw fit. My main priority when teaching at shogakko was to cultivate an interest for foreign cultures and languages in the children, in the hopes that the interests that they have now will kindle a desire to continue learning and to become students unimpeded by geographical or ideological barriers. Mostly I just wanted to show them that learning was fun and to pass out bags and bags of candy and stickers. My classes were designed using tried and true Pavlovian methods and implementing a student centered learning environment whenever possible.

There is a great problem with keeping students enthusiasm about learning English, especially in Junior High School and into higher education. Part of the problem stems from the pressure to focus on technical English to pass tests instead of practical English that can be used to communicate and facilitate the sharing of ideas and common interests. The Japanese educational system is improving, though. Recently, more and more ALTs have been stationed at elementary schools, where they are encouraged to play and teach about culture.

This is a big step towards improving English education in Japan, and it should be recognized that Ubuyama provides their ALT with the opportunity to interact and to influence the children to a very high extent, starting from when they first enter the system in hoikuen (nursery school). No other ALT that I know gets to teach at the same hoikuen four times a month, or for that matter at shogakko four times a month, and some only visit their shogakkos once every two months. I sincerely hope that one day, shogakkusei will have the opportunity to learn English every day, like they do in other countries, in a stimulating environment with lots of support. The children are so smart, and learn so much in the small amount of time that we spend together. I can only imagine how skilled they would become with regular lessons scheduled every day, and hope that this becomes the case in the near future.

Now, I'm off to Osaka in search of another teaching position, in the right school. I have two years under my belt teaching everything from nursery school to high school to adult conversation classes, but I know that I still have much to learn about teaching. All I can say is that I welcome the challenge, and look forward to experiencing a completely different part of Japan and Japanese culture in Kansai from the lens of a person who has lived in the Higo region for two years. Yokka bai, ikko.

For the past three years, many people came out on a free day, no matter what the weather was like, in order to run the hash in Kumamoto Prefecture. It became a ritual and was something that many of us looked forward to doing each month. Running through all sorts of dangerous environments, stalking the hares and scrutinizing their spoor. The best hashes were the absolute worst. I ran my first hash in the city (City Hash #2).

We started out on the roof of the Parco Building, getting sprayed with beer and then plunged into the longest and most frustruating hashes I have ever run. We ran all over the city following the hash marks marked with chalk and flour, and worked as a team to get to the end. Unfortunately, there was a hitch. The trail died off half way through, and like Scooby Doo and the gang, we all split up and got into all sorts of trouble. After much time spent searching, some of us were lucky enough to finally stumble upon the true trail, and we made it to the finish about a half an hour past dawn. But there was a problem. No one was there, and worse yet the bastards didn't leave any beer! We were stranded in a park next to the railroad tracks in the middle of the city, and we were getting cranky.

Finally, we all met downtown and got the explanation. Mark, Joe, and Austin all went to go look for us because they inferred that we got lost (they finished the course about two or three hours before us), and finally found us when they came back. It took about another hour to fully straighten things out and to round up those who had strayed from the path, but we finally did it. We headed off to the onsen to make our gaijin-selves less offensive to the locals, and proceeded to have a signature crazy night out. Blurred memories from that night include Austin doing a cannonball on the hood of some poor, scared out of her wits Japanese woman and the usual debauchery in the Sharps and Sanctuary. Everyone was pissed about the hash, but it brought us all close together and cemented social ties within the group.

The hash has been a great place to meet people who think the same way, have the same interests, or are complimentary to us. I feel sorry for all of those people who were scared away by the stories of near death experiences, exaggerated explanations of fraternity-like rituals, or just an aversion to being outdoors and getting some exercise. You'll never know what you missed, and maybe it's better that way.


Some of my favorite perils during the hash include:

wading through liquid shit in Kiyokushi, exposing ourselves to unknown pathogens and a really horrible smell.
jaywalking across really busy streets, Frogger style.
getting plastered with cobwebs in the forests.
watching bamboo fall and impale itself into the ground a few feet away from another hasher.
climbing across/up/down very high and dangerous places where if you fall, you will either be seriously injured or killed.
swimming through jellyfish infested waters.
getting caught in a forest with different colored path markers mixed with the markers used by the local farmers, which were put on almost every other tree!
driving a hare to the emergency room because he cut his hand by leaning on his glass door and sliced the thumb tendon, leaving him in a thumbs up cast for a couple of months (pure gold, that incident).
going far down a steep hill, only to find the initials "YBF".
having to rescue some grumpy OC girls climbing over wet, jagged rocks.
running in the dark through the cold rain, trying not to catch pneumonia.

Generally, the best stories come from the most painful, embarrasing, and tiring hashes. I had an awesome two years running with you fools, and I will miss meeting with you all on every month to run, party, and recover from injuries and hangovers the next day in the onsen. Thanks to everybody who helped to organize and run these good times.

Below is a list compiled by Mark Fingerhut otherwise known as Disco Ass. I have taken the liberty to make a few changes, but if you want the original version, click here
for the Excel file. Please enjoy, and feel free to send me updates or corrections.

hash.jpg
Thanks to Shige for the photo.

Kumamoto Hash House Harriers
FORMAT:
Hash Name//Hash Date//Location
Immortalization(s) (denoted with italics, mortal name first followed by immortal name)
Hares ("+")
First Finisher(*)(*), oh, wait I put in one too many (*)s...

Hash, Year 3
City Hash 5, 6/26/04, Kumamoto City
Monica Alborg- Proctortoise
Kate Gardner- Princess Dive
Ed Snook- DJ Chu-Hi
Muppet/Disco Ass+
Sakuraba*

The Dam Hash, 6/19/04, Ryumon Dam, Kikuchi
Derek- Stiffulis Hige
Shitfuck/Professor Q+
Fracas*

City Hash 4/YBF, 3/13/04, Kumamoto City
Paul Steele- Cherry Bandit
Muppet/Disco Ass+
Fracas*

Ashikita Hash, 2/21/04, Ashikita
Jamie Mackay- Sliced Bush
Asshole Kool-Aid+
Fracas*

Kyokushi Hash 2, 2003/12/6, Kyokushi, Kikuchi
Suzanne Strom- Asshole Kool-Aid
Danny Stapp- Dis Nut
Val- re-christened Shitheel
Professor Q/Shitfuck+

Kinpo/Quarry Hash, 10/2/03, Mt. Kinpo/City
Froilan Vispo- Nuck-a-nuts
Muppet/Disco Ass+
Nuck-a-nuts*

Waterwheel Hash, 2003/9/6, Takahama Beach, Amakusa
Dave Seabeck- Shitfuck
Matt Durish/Con+
Muppet/Disco Ass*

Aso Hash, 2003/8/30, Aso/Kugino
Adam Yoshida- Sonic-san
Lettuce+
Fracas/Shitfuck*


Hash, Year 2
City Hash 3 (4人), 2002/6/14, Kumamoto City
3 participants- all immortals
Muppet/Disco Ass+
Fracas*

Mashiki Hash, 5/?/03 Mashiki
Mike "Steak" Russel- Sex Wax
Fracas/Professor Q+

Tatsuda Hash, 3/15/03, Kumamoto City/Tatsuda
Kelvin Chatman- Tinkerbell
Chihuahua/Tailbone+
Fracas*

Kyokushi Hash 1- No Joy, 2003/2/22, Kyokushi, Kikuchi
Rob Baldwin- Tailbone
Professor Q/Fracas+

City Hash 2 - No Joy, 2002/12/7, Kumamoto City
Joe Debiec- Professor Quintana
Disco Ass/Sakuraba/Muppet+

City Hash 1, 10/?/02, Kumamoto City
Elise Coleman- Chihuahua
Muppet/Disco Ass+

Kikka Hash, 9/?/02, Kikka, Kikuchi
Mark Fingerhut- Pepper
Ringworm/Sakuraba+
Disco Ass*


Hash, Year 1
Aso Tri-Hash, 6/29/02
Kate- Kid
Skip - No Joy
Muppet, Lettuce, SuperDesu+

2002/6/1
Adrian- Bookbag
Ringworm, Sakuraba+

2002/4/13
Tiki- Frogskin
Ringworm, Sakuraba+

2002/3/16
Ben Colbridge- Lettuce
Ringworm, Sakuraba+

2002/2/9
Who was immortalized? Maybe we will never know...
Ringworm, Sakuraba+
Ringworm caught by Will and Testicles

12/3/01 Monday
Treve Brinkman- Super Desu
Joe Fingerhut- Muppet
Ringworm, Sakuraba+
Stopped by police due to threat of anthrax (bonus points)

2001/11/17
Kelly- Pipes
Ringworm, Sakuraba+
Muppet came within 10 feet of catching Sakuraba

2001/10/13
Will- Sir Will and Testicle
Ringworm (James), Sakuraba (Austin Philbin)--immortalized by default
police called by alarmed country folk because they thought we were terrorists

Note: I notice that the race where Jason was immortalized is not included, or it is not mentioned when but the name Fracas puts the hash some time after the night where he was misbehaving at the Sharps. I think it must have been some time before the end of the 2nd year...

Snapshot

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I know that this is really late to start, but I am going to start posting about places where I enjoy eating in my corner of Aso, near the Aso/Oita border, and maybe some other joints in Kumamoto that I like.


Tashiroya- for the bombass Okonomiyaki
Let's start off with a place that my friend and predecessor, Mr. Harvey Haynes, first took me to when I first arrived in Ubuyama two years ago. Located to the left of Aso Jinja (if you are facing the temple) is the small, unpretentious okinomiyakiya known as "Tashiroya". This place makes the best okonomiyaki in Aso hands down, and is my personal favorite in Kumamoto.

tashiroya.jpg
You can see Mr. Tashiro in the window and who I assume is his wife in the background.

It can be hard to get a seat, and sometimes they run out of ingredients on busy days. My favorite combination is pork and cheese (butaniku and cheese)okonomiyaki.jpg. If you like taiyaki, then this place is definetely for you. Many children drop by this store after work.

*note, and this is true: The best okonomiyaki restaraunts always are a little, or maybe more than a little, dingy and tend to attract cockroaches. This is just a fact of life. The grease from the skillet atomizes and works its way into the enviroment of the shop at a molecular level, so these places become more and more sticky with time. Eating at a clean okonomiyaki joint doesn't necessarily mean that their okonomiyaki is going to suck, but then again it probably does.


Santouka- The Favorite of Many Aso JETs

Located near Tashiroya, just 50 feet away is the famous Santouka (the kanji reading "mountain" "head" and "fire"). This izakaya makes wonderful food, but it is not my favorite because I think it's too expensive (they don't list prices on the menu) and its hard to drink and to find a way home. If I lived close by Santouka, I think that it might just be my favorite restaraunt. If you are here, try the college potatoes, nasu-age, and just point to a random kanji that you don't know and take a chance. That's my favorite way to learn kanji.


Yokayoka Tei- The Best Restaraunt In Northern Aso

Ascending Takimurozaka (from Ichinomiya in the direction of Oita) on the 57, you will come upon a yellow building near the base of the mountain on your right. This is my favorite restaraunt, Yokayokatei (maybe I put one too many yoka's in there...). Everything that they do is spectacular, including yakiniku, bibimba, steaks, hamburgs,

*note: the difference between hamburg and hamburgers is this: hamburg is generally served by itself and eaten with rice, whereas hamburgers are nestled in between a bun. Clearly stated, a hamburg is the Japanese term for "cooked hamburger patty". Hope that clears things up.

curry, tonkatsu, katsudon, and other dishes as well. My favorite night to go to Yokatei is on Wednesday because you can eat Viking

*note: Viking in Japan refers to "all you can eat" or "buffet". I think that this word lends itself to some interested imagery, such as a horned barbarian feasting on double-fisted legs of lamb or something.

yakiniku for 1,500 yen. Included in the deal are the drink bar

*note: drink bar = all you can drink access to the soda fountain/ beverage bar.

and the following are all you can eat:

curry (beef)
rice
spare ribs
chorizo (spicy and good, but not the type of chorizo from back in SoCal. this stuff ain't runny)
mild sausage
assorted cuts of beef including tongue, hormone, rose cut, calbee, and others
assorted cuts of pork
assorted cuts of chicken
vegetables including cabbage, carrots, and onions

The staff here are extremely friendly, and they have the capacity to seat large parties. I only wish I could have set up a party there once before I left...

Yokatei gets bonus points for having a 100 yen soft drink vending machine in the parking lot- the only other one that I know of is next to the 100 yen store in the Ozu Jusco and that one sells tall boys of Mountain Dew, but now I'm getting off topic. The vending machine is worth a stop alone on the way up.

To sum up, Yokayoka Tei gets my top spot because the management is nice, they are quick, they are very reasonably priced, they make great food, and they are open relatively late. Prices are equivalent to Joyfull prices, so you will feel stupid if you forget about this place and go to the Ichinomiya Joyfull instead.


Small restaraunt towards the top of Takimurozaka- I forget the name

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When ascending Takimurozaka on the 57, you should get on the right hand side of the passing lane (you should do this anyways to pass those drivers that insist on going 30- there's always at least one of them!) and turn right when you see the first restaraunt past Yokayokatei. This place sells katsucurry, all sorts of ramen, gyouza, assorted Japanese food, and chahan. My favorite ramen here is the stamina (the term for garlic) ramen. They put so much garlic in the broth that it is spicy. As a courtesy to other patrons, they also bring out a stick of strong mint gum after you finish the bowl.


Kaguraen Sobaya- For Everything Soba Flavored

This place makes good soba, and has standard Japanese fare, including oyakodon, tempura, and many soba dishes and combinations. You can also make your own soba, but I prefer mine to be professionally crafted. I was forced to eat soba that some shogakkusei made, and tried to ignore the pockets of hidden dry clumps of flour hidden in the jaggedly cut, sorry excuse for noodles. I recommend the tempura/soba set, along with the complimentary soba-cha (soba tea). Afterwards treat yourself to soba flavored soft cream outside at the parking lot stand. This place is in Namino, just before Ubuyama on the 57.


Big Rest Stop in Oita

About 10 minutes into Oita on the 57, you will see a big rest stop with a parking lot that can accomodate an entire convoy of kanko busses on the left. This place serves good chicken tempura (different from karage), but if you are strapped for cash I would go for the chahan. This fried rice is cheap, filling, and pretty good.


OUT OF ASO

In the city I recommend the following places:

American Food- Masa's
*note: this place has gotten expensive, but is the only place outside of Fukuoka that makes a good, big burger.
Indian Food- Nanak (weekdays are the cheapest time to eat here)
Mexican Food- Plaza Del Sol
Just to use the abundance of hot sauces- Freshness Burger
Okonomiyaki- The restaraunt (2nd story) on the corner of the Shimotori.
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(as pointed to by Mark Fingerhut, with Matt sprinkling the aonori)
German food and a nice catalogue of beers- Oden
Chinese- the restaraunt on the 7th floor of Old Tsuruya, in the food court. I recommend the fried chicken.


Fukuoka Chain Restaraunts

Food in Fukuoka is outstanding, and luckily two chains are spreading throughout Kyushu. One is a yakiniku/ramen shop called Gofu (the kanji for "5" and "wind"). Their ramen is excellent, especially with the fried garlic topping (their tonkotsu broth is awesome), and the yakiniku is also good.
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Pictured here is the Charsiu Ramen Set, complete with Charsiu Rice. It was outstanding. This picture was from Oita, but I know of two locations in Kumamoto. One is at the Higashi Bypass, near Super Autobacs, and the other is In Yamaga.

My other favorite chain from Fukuoka is called Ichiban Doori (Number One Chicken). This izakaya style restaraunt specializes in, you guessed it, chicken and it does chicken very very well. I recommend any of the kushiyaki (skewered food), the chicken karage with green onion sauce, and the potato mochi. Find a designated driver, because you will definetely want to drink beer if you go. Located on the oppposite side of the McDonalds in Ozu (but more towards the direction of Kumamoto City on the 57).

Thank You, Ubuyama-mura

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It feels as if I have spent a long, long time in Ubuyama, but I also feel that my stay in your village has passed so quickly. These days are very busy as I pack up my house, make preparations for your new JET, and give my last lessons. Saying goodbye makes me sad and churns up a feeling of dread in my stomach, and yet, I cherish this feeling. It means that we have developed a meaningful relationship that I really don?t want to lose.

Two years ago, when I first learned where I was to teach, I knew very little about Ubuyama. I only knew that it was near Mount Aso and that it was right in the middle of Kyushu. I was concerned about what life out in the deep inaka would be like, but I have grown to love the life out here. Living in Ubuyama is a rare opportunity, especially for an American like me. I have traveled all over Japan, and I know that this place stands out as a diamond in the rough. This is most likely the last time in my life that I will live somewhere where I can leave the keys in the ignition of my car and be sure that it will be completely safe.

After spending some time in the city I have noticed that many things, ranging from the people to the food, seem more genuine in the inaka. The food has a simpler, purer, earthier taste and not fancy packaging. The emphasis on locally produced food is for nutrition and taste, as opposed to appearance and cost. The people don?t act as superficially as they do in the city, and are quick to lend a hand in a time of need. I wake up to the sounds of songbirds singing and crows scrounging for food, and go to sleep hearing the sound of rain pelting against my roof and the magnificently loud frogs calling from the rice field next to my house. Not to mention the air and water. Where I come from, you need a special filter to treat your water, and when you blow your nose, the black particulate matter from the air is visible in your mucous.

Thank you for giving me so many rare opportunities to be part of your community. Many people have expressed envy when I tell them of how I was allowed to be part of the fire brigade. Thank you for this wonderful opportunity and for spending time to help me learn how do perform the drills. Also, I know that many people, including teachers, students, workers from the yakuba, neighbors, and various other people have helped me over the two years I have been here in one way or another, and I want to express my appreciation. You all helped my life to run much smoother and I couldn?t have survived without you. I have learned much about the Japanese language and Japanese culture (especially the culture of central Kyushu and Kumamoto) and I am in your debt.

Lastly, I want to say thank you for allowing me to teach your children and to get to know them. The kids were always my favorite part of the job, and it has been especially hard saying goodbye to so many of my little friends. I have never encountered such a nice, innocent, and intelligent batch of kids before and it is them that I will miss the most. I wish Ubuyama the greatest success in its innovative plans for the future, both in development of the village and in education. Thank you very much for hosting me for these two wonderful years, and know that I will never forget the small, wonderful village hidden away in the middle of Kyushu known as Ubuyama.

Baka Hebi

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Last night I ate dinner at the Takahashi's, enjoying a huge "hamburg" and introducing them to the liquid red pleasure that is Shiracha. Their daughter and one of my sannensei students, Fumi, is going to Thailand for two weeks this summer and so I thought I'd help to prepare her for the spicy foods that she will encounter.

During dinner, we got around to talking about snakes. I was puzzled when they told me that snakes stink- I had never encountered a snake that I thought was stinky. We debated this point for a while, but I was unconvinced. Then, they told me about a really stupid snake that had eaten a frog and got stuck and died. I was wondering why they thought that the snake was so stupid, when they offered to show it to me. We went out in back of their house to a small road next to a wall of stone, and smelled it before we spotted it with the flashlights. It looked like someone had used a lot of muscle to shove the two and a half foot long snake into a tiny hole. The snake was hanging out of one of the cracks, its neck wrinkled from trying to escape from jammed a hole that was way too small for it to enter. I was intrigued by the stupidity of the snake. I think that it must have been fleeing from something and tried to find a hiding space in a hurry, and in its haste it jammed its head in to the fissure nice and tight. Indeed, a baka hebi.

I was planning on taking pictures in the morning light, but the snake is gone and only a residue of the stink remains. I should have known better. Not much goes to waste out here, and the snake was conveniently hanging there, just inviting some wild animal to pick up some take out.

Resonance

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I recieved this story written by one of my Daiichi High School ichinensei (as an assignment of the VHS program in Kumamoto), and it reminded me of the cat that Justin and Merin rescued. The only differences are that the fictional kitten was rescued from the top of a sky scraper during the day. Justin jumped into a storm gutter and caught the kitten just as it lost its grip and was about to be swept away to be drowned. Anyhow, have a look:

Last night, thunder was sounding. Many people were frightened. At a skyscraper of top, a kitten was mewing. But someone didn?t learn.

Next day, one person helped a kitten and he raised it and it was his great pet.

Oh, and for those of you who don't know, this is an example of the English abilities of a decent 1st year student in one of the better high schools in Kumamoto. I'm quite proud of the abilities of these students, actually.

It Blew, Really Hard

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Sailing opportunities in Japan have proved elusive, and so I jumped at the chance to go this Saturday in Sasebo, Nagasaki. The weather was beautiful as we pulled into Huis Ten Bosch- a Dutch-themed theme park/marina. I know almost nothing about the theme park because we stayed on the boat for the whole time, but this was what I wanted to do anyways. Heck, I always have Solvang the next time I go back to Santa Barbara...

I was shocked to see that the boat that we were going to race was none other than a Catalina 34- just like the one that we took out on occasion at the O.C.C. School of Sailing and Seamanship after work. Stepping on that boat was like stepping off the docks and back in to Newport Harbor after a two year hiatus.

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The Stasha, a well maintained Catalina 34 from Nagasaki.

Gyuuba Yuusen

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"Give priority to cows and horses", reads the sign. It's a real danger out here in the inaka. Really. I always thought these signs were in Ubuyama (they practically are) but the sign indicates that this land is part of Ichinomiya-machi.

Ch-Check It Out

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It's really sad walking into class these days, as many of them are "the last lesson" for that particular group of kids. Most of them haven't been told that I am leaving, and so when I break the news they have a look in the eyes that is of desperate sadness/ whipped puppy dog/ betrayed best friend that stabs me in the heard and makes me feel bad for deciding to leave Ubuyama. If Ubuyama was closer to civilization then I might want to teach here forever. The kids in my village are pure and innocent, and remain that way because they live in the middle of some of the most beautiful country land I have ever seen. The culture out here is the foundation of Japanese society- the essence of what people take pride in and draw upon in times of hardship.

When I first got to Ubuyama I taught at three hoikuen (nursery/pre-schools). The classes were so small that I got to know the babies on a really personal level. My favorite class consisted of 5 little boys, all super-hyper and pure fun. This class was able to write romaji (the romanized alphabet) at a 6 grade level (in Japan) when they were 5 years old, and their pronunciation was awesome, but unfortunately I didn't get to teach them more than twice a month after they entered elementary school, and most times I only got to teach them once a month and their English skills (but not enthusiasm for learning English, mind you) deteriorated significantly.

They still remember some of the stuff that I taught them, and I am satisfied with that. My main objective was to stoke their enthusiasm for learning and exploring their interests, regardless of the subject. We studied science, made art, did culture lessons, and I made lessons based on what they expressed interest in learning, but always we learned through play. I found out early on that if you make students study using conventional methods (rote repitition, standard testing, drills) that you can literally fry their impressionable brains and do great harm to their motivation (yes, this is documented and there is some good research material at the ERIC site that explores these issues).

Anyhow, for our last lesson I decided to go out with a day full of games. I taught the whole lesson teaching them how to throw a football (they say American football, but I think that the American part is redundant. Football is football and soccer is soccer) and playing dodgeball, but the part I remember the most is playing musical chairs, the English penilization with candy compensation version. I blasted track one off of To The 5 Boroughs (the new Beastie Boys CD), and they rocked out. As I walked away from our last lesson I heard them rapping out "Check-ch-ch-ch-ch-checkidou! Wha-whu-whu-whussitallabou!". I could not help but feel a happy satisfaction covering over the sadness. I am truly proud of Tomohiro, Naoto, Kodai, Tatsuhiro, and Yukiharu-kun, and will not be surprised to hear of their successes in the future.

One of my favorite ways to spend a spring or summer night in Japan is to go out and watch the hotaru (fireflies) flicker on and off in unison. The Hotaru Festival in Kyokushi (North of Ozu in Kumamoto-ken) is worth checking out, and easy to get to. During this celebration, beef ranchers like the Otsuka family sell exceptionally delicious beef which is best enjoyed with a glass of beer and a bunch of friends.

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This isn't a hotaru, it's a picture of a tiny bee that I took at Yamabuki suigen (Yamabuki spring). In daylight, the fireflies look like regular elongated black beetles, somewhat reminiscent of a cockroach. I took the next picture in the dark of a firefly in my hand from Kyokushi last year:

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Such a sad picture... The bioluminescence and frequency of their flashing varies among species. The fireflies in Kyokushi blink slower and with a yellowish light, while the yamahotaru blink slightly faster in a bluish-white. I wonder if the color differences have to do with the membrane of the photophores (assuming this is what the light producing cells on fireflies are called) or due to slight chemical differences in combination with the luciferin and luciferase...

Anyhow, if you are in Aso-gun near Ubuyama-mura during mid to late June you can still catch the yamahotaru (mountain fireflies), well after the other species have mated and died. One great spot is south of Namino village, in a place called Shiramizu Taki (white water waterfall- pictured below). The waterfall itself is worth a visit during the day time, but it is truly magnificent at night illuminated by the stars and the fireflies. The lighting has a soft, magical quality because of the diffusing effect of the spray generated by the falling water. Apparently, the light on my cellphone is irresistable to yamahotaru, as one followed it back into my pocket. I watched in amusement as it blinked out a pickup line to my unreceptive D251.
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Yamahotaru are more reliable to see than the other species, I have found, because they come out in rain or good weather, and wind tends not to be a factor as they tend to live in protected areas among the trees or cliffs.

My other favorite places to see them are in Ubuyama-mura in Hokubu. I was able to see hotaru at Yamabuki suigen, but had to turn back because it was pitch-black, raining hard, and I only had my keitai (with a low battery) to serve as a flashlight. Instead, I went to Ikeyama suigen which is more popular and easier to access. The hotaru were out in abundance in the mist and drizzle, lighting up the cedars with their halogen-white glow.

Rainy Weekend

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This weekend I had to work, and so I missed the last hash with our group in Kumamoto. I hope it went well, and that you all had to swim through the brown dirtiness that is the Shirakawa River. It rained all weekend long, which was a good thing. I did more this weekend then I usually do on weekends with fair weather.

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This is the elephant in front of Ubuyama Junior High School. I think it has a really nice ass, don't you? In a purely asthetic sense, that is...

Chewing Through The Gag

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Over the past year, posting stuff on Higo Blog is something that I have really grown to enjoy. It's a much needed release sometimes, and helps me to stay sane in my relative isolation in the Japanese country side. I can't imagine what it would feel like if the Japanese government decided to censor what I could and could not look at or post on the net, but I imagine I would feel a lot like Kevin and the other bloggers in Korea.

Instead of talking about my thoughts on the recent actions of the Korean Ministry of Information and Communication, I highly suggest checking out Big Hominid's site and to explore the links and Korea blogger's pages that he posts, and to join him and the others in saying "Fuck censorship!".

Cooking With Green Butter

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Avocados are only 100 yen right now, and so I have been using them a lot lately. My favorite ways to eat them are sliced with shoyu (California-nisei style), as part of a sandwitch/cheeseburger, or as guacamole. Fresh tortillas are worth their weight in silver over here, but tortilla chips are abundant and cheap and go the best with the guac. I will be experimenting with various indiginous Japanese foods to see if any go well. Here are some proposed dished:

nato, guacamole, and yamaimo with ice cold soba
sushi with a pad of guacamole under the bullet of fish instead of wasabi
grilled, salted salmon with guacamole
curry with pork cutlet and guacamole
basashi (horse sashimi) and guacamole
miso soup with essence of guacamole
guacamole soft cream (soft serve)
guacamole with asse
yakiguacamoleonigiri
tantanmen with guacamole topping
Vietnamese spring rolls with rice vermicelli, sweet grilled pork, Vietnamese pickles, fish sauce, and guacamole (this is not Japanese, but I think it is one of the more promising combinations).

Some are destined for greatness, while others will be fed to unsuspecting friends. I used only ingredients that were readily available and cheap in the middle of Kyushu. Here's my take on guacamole:

2 hass avocados
1/2 tsp. of fresh lemon juice
1 small tomato, diced
1/2 small onion, minced
2 cloves of raw garlic, minced
garlic salt
pepper
cajun seasoning
tapatio sauce

I ate this guacamole with pack of Pringles (sour cream and onion flavor), because sometimes they don't have tortilla chips at the supermarket.

This is a very simple recipe and very easy to make. Caution: using raw garlic makes the guacamole spicy, and will result in breath that would cause one embarrassment in a kimchee factory in Korea.

Spy vs. Spy

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Justin told me that he ran Ad-Aware and Spybot on Merin's computer last weekend, and that he was shocked to see how much spyware (check out this article for more information) was on her computer. He said that it had so much crap on it that it crashed while he was running the anti-spyware programs. I just worked on my BOE's computer with these same programs and here's the results:

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Is it me, or does the little bug icon look like the spider-shaped trackers that Spider-Man uses to track bad guys?


Ad-aware: 191 programs detected
Spybot: 88 programs detected

Total: 279 spyware programs on the first go. It is truly strange to be in a place where I probably have the most experience working with computers. "Scary" is probably a better word than "strange", on second thought.


Results for the chugakko are as follows-
Ad-aware: 169
Spybot: 46

Total: 215
On this computer Claria/Gator was installed, and accounted for more than half of the spyware objects detected by both programs (and not all were detected on the first try).

Classroom Punishment

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What ever happened to time out or setting up conferences with the parents of a kid who is having problems in school? In Japan, you hear many stories of how screwed up the educational system is, and how the pressure on teachers (to get their students to pass tests) and students (to pass the tests) really is. I can say for certain that if one of my teachers told me to write an apology in blood, I would walk past them and go straight to the principal and call my parents to help me sort this out.

I have been lucky enough to have nice teachers in my schools, in an environment where such behavior would most likely be immediately detected and severely dealt with. I have heard accounts of students being smacked by teachers, and even one case of a retarded student being put into a cage for the period because the teacher couldn't control him. What ever happened to humiliating a class clown or smartmouth in front of the class, and trying to get to the ultimate cause of problematic behavior? Hopefully, a teacher's class will be percieved as interesting or at least valuable enough to pressure the students to act in a respectful manner.

It also bothers me how common it is for teachers to have secret relationships with their students. Some teachers have no problem engaging in romantic relations with their students, and this really bothers me. It just doesn't seem to be such a big deal over here for some reason.

Cooking With Goya

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This weekend I cooked with goya(bitter melon) for the first time, and it turned out awesome! I first tried goya in Okinawa as a component in a chop suey-like dish, and made it with the help of a friend. After you try this dish, you might grow to love the bumpy-cucumber-like hunk of bitterness.

Goya Champura

Ingredients:
1 goya, cored and sliced thin into half-rings
1 onion, cut into (half) rings
a few cloves of garlic, minced
one half a loaf of SPAM, chopped into thin slices
one block of firm tofu, cubed
four eggs, scrambled
one teaspoon of sesame oil
one teaspoon of olive oil
two heaping tablespoons of miso paste
one tablespoon of toubanjan (red chili paste)

Directions:
Fry the goya, onions, and SPAM in the oil on high heat, until the onions become translucent and then add the garlic along with the miso and toubanjan and cook for a few more minutes. Add in the tofu and the eggs with some salt and pepper and cook until the eggs are done.

This dish shows off the versatility of spam, in its ability to tame a food as bitter as goya. Like it or hate it, but above all, respect the SPAM.


Note:
Due to the high sodium content of SPAM, I suggest going light on the salt. If you want to get seriously Okinawan, then you should eat this with a slowly stewed pig's foot (this is so f*cking delicious that all negative connotations of pig's feet will disappear once you eat it), grilled lobster and steak, a small, deep-fried red snapper without its filets (basically the head, bones, and tail), and some awamori, aged 20 years (100% kusu, of course!).

For more info on goya, and another goya champura recipe, check this page. Mmmmm... Goya Beer...

Genocide Cocktail

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My sister Merin sent me this picture of a tank full of habu in awamori that she took while on vacation to Okinawa this weekend, in a place called Gyokusendo Kingdom Village. I wrote all about habushu and mamushizake in a previous post, and thought that they made this liquer with one snake per bottle, kind of like one worm per bottle of tequila. Sad, isn't it?

But let's end this post on a lighter note. Let's enjoy some potty humor, again thanks to my sister:
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Okinawa is, indeed, a place full of wonder...

A Gaping, Unfilled Niche

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There are a few things that I used to depend on for everyday cooking and I still use many of them over here, but I sorely miss Mexican food ingredients. I miss the abundance of tortillas, both flour and corn (I can get flour tortillas at Costco in Fukuoka periodically, but it is a pain in the ass). Good cheese is also hard to obtain, because it is prohibitively expensive (except for at Costco, once again). If you want cillantro, you must grow your own, and it will not survive the cold winter of Ubuyama without a heat source (you can obtain it at the Kuju Hana Koen, labeled as "italian parsely", as a potted plant). I also miss frijoles and canned chilli. These are the ingredients that helped to get me through college.

I was excited to find all of the components for making tacos, including cheap avocados, but there was one ingredient I couldn't find- tortillas. I tried eating the taco ingredients on top of rice, but rice sucks as a substitute. The only worse thing I can think of is putting the taco ingredients on a slice of toast! I was so disappointed that I thought about making my own tortillas, and found these instructions. Sorry, that's just too much work for something that I'm used to shelling out 39 cents out for, for a ten pack.

Maybe that's what made eating Mexican food so great when I came back home last Christmas. I love eating tacos, enchiladas, burritos, quesadillas, chimichangas, taquitos, nachos, and everything else that you can get at a taco truck, Tito's tacos, Alerto's, King Taco, and the other mexican restaraunts and taquerias that I remember.

I'm not sure about the rest of Japan, but Kyushu has almost no Mexican restaraunts that I know of, except for Plaza Del Sol in Kumamoto City. This place is pretty good, and the prices are reasonable, considering the rarity of many of the ingredients that they use. THey make decent tacos, burritos, nachos, and other dishes and the cooks are Mexican- again, something truly rare in Japan but not worth mentioning in California. One thing that did surprise me was their pickled vegetables (I forget what these are called in Spanish, help Dad!). The slices of carrots, jalapenos, and whole cloves of garlic are the best I have tasted anywhere.

If you are coming to Japan, and love Mexican food as much as I do I suggest you do two things:

1. Bring your own industrial sized bottle of El Tapatio (or Cholula for all of you rich people).
2. Eat AS MUCH Mexican food as you possibly can for the two weeks preceeding your departure.

Tienes Arroz, Bitch?

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This thing made me want to put on a blindfold, spin around ten times, let the force guide my bat straight and true, and smash it open to get to the candy.

Everyone knows how to make French Toast, but I consider my version to be top shelf. My favorite thing about FT is that I almost always have the ingredients, and it is a quick meal. Try this version out:

Ingredients:
bread, left out from the night before or toasted to get rid of moisture
eggs
whipping cream
peach schnapps or kahlua
butter
bananas, sliced
maple syrup
sugar
confectioner's sugar
cinnamon

Directions:
Scramble the eggs and add some whipping cream. Also add peach schnapps or kahlua, sugar, and cinnamon. Dip the bread on both sides, allowing it to soak in the egg mixture. Fry on both sides with butter (this is important!) on medium heat (you want the sugar in the FT to brown nicely, but not to blacken- there is a thin line between carmelization and carbonization. if it starts to smoke, you've cooked it for too long or used too strong of a flame).

Next for the topping. Add a generous tab of butter to the pan, and keep the flame at medium high. Carmelize the banana slices on both sides, making sure not to burn them. If you do it just right, they should be a deep, crispy shade of brown and will taste awesome! Powder the FT with cinnamon and powdered sugar, hip up some fresh whipped cream and top the FT with it, along with the bananas and some maple syrup.

This recipe was inspired by my mother, who used to make fried bananas for me and my siblings when we were little, and who also stressed the importance of using butter to cook with. Olive and canola oil have their time and place, but using margerine or some other butter substitute is unacceptable. And don't get me started on the butter-flavored lipids that they squirt onto movie theatre popcorn! Margerine wasn't meant to be eaten in the first place- it was developed to be mixed with gasoline along with other components to make Napalm (I'm pretty sure, but I can't find any sources on the net). Mmmmm... Napalm...

Around Aso and Kuju

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The view from the top of the caldera was unusually clear yesterday. In case you're up here, the rest stop on the 339 right before it T intersects with the 45 sells awesome takoyaki.

Nature Is Disgusting

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Let's face it, nature is a dirty place, dirtier than places like the middle-class suburbs, but mostly cleaner than third world countries, slums, and shanty towns where the population's excrement co-mingles with their drinking water. Ah, the suburbanites have the luxury of crying about how tragic it is that their kids won't get to experience the outdoors, and make a contribution by joining the Sierra Club and making once-a-year donations to Greenpeace.

Get most of these people out into nature and enjoy the irony as it unfolds. They want the mountain lions, coyotes, and other wild animals out of their neighborhood at any cost after someone or someone's pet gets attacked, yet teach their kids the importance of biodiversity and of the humane treatment of cute and furry animals. They pay more for organically labeled food, and yet soak those irksome weeds with Round-Up, having no understanding of the consequences of toxic runoff that seeps into the water. They go outside and cover themselves in deet to keep away the insects (Nature bad!), bust out the bug spray when the ants come and raid the picnic, and plug in the bug zapper whose kill ratio is 5 mosquitoes to 95 of possibly beneficial insects. They make a huge fuss if there isn't a nearby flushing bathroom stocked with toilet paper, running water, and soap. Watch the honors students cry when you tell them that they have to go into the forest behind a tree, dig a hole with a branch and wipe with broad evergreen leaves (make sure to avoid plants with clusters of 3 leaves)! Now what do you think of composting on a personal level, kids? You know what the difference between a jungle and a rainforest is? Being there yourself burning the leaches off of your friend's private areas versus watching Steve Irwin getting attacked by wild animals on TV.

We like to pick and choose our nature, wanting to interact with the clean and cute stuff, while avoiding the stinky, disease ridden, ugly stuff. A butterfly is good, a bunch of mealworm-like caterpillars collectively excreting white threads out of its butt is bad.
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Most of us like nature, but only at a distance.
We like our houses sterile, devoid of nature except for a few groomed plants and pets that we keep unnaturally clean. When nature comes creeping in, we swat it with a rolled up newspaper, suck it up, sweep it out, douse it with chemicals, make adjustments to the places from which we think it came more inaccessable, and wipe it down with bleach afterwards just to make sure that all traces are removed. Don't say that you wish that people were close to nature unless you fully understand what this means, and are willing to put up and move out to Walden pond. Chances are that you can't hack it, unless it's on the Discovery Channel.

Nature is disgusting. Sure there are beautiful things in nature, but to say that all things natural are beautiful is a dirty, rotten lie that is easily exposed. Have you ever watched a hippopotamus give birth on the National Geographic Channel, or scattering shit with its tail to spread its scent around? Have you watched a seagull eating an umbilical cord that was still attached to a newborn elephant seal crying out for its mother? Have you seen chimpanzees cannibalizing bastard infant chimpanzees to get rid of offspring that they know was fathered by another group of chimpanzees. Has a three inch long millipede with the girth the size of a roll of pennies ever died in your bathtub, hiding an egg cluster somewhere in the vicinity? Did the eggs start to a year ago, letting loose a few dozen mini-millipedes in your bathroom? Did they start to appear again a year later, even after you disinfected the whole bathroom several times since with cleaning agents and bleach? After the tree huggers get a little too close to the poison oak, they start to think more practically.

If you feel strongly about living in "true" harmony with nature, then you might as well back up your words through action. Don't throw away the moldy bread, let it grow and flourish, and to spread its spores among the other foods. Don't sweep out the dust or vacuum, as you will be upsetting the fragile habitat of the dustmite! Don't clean your toilet because the shit-spatters and pubic hair are a micro-ecosystem for coliform bacteria- a garden rich in microorganisms from your intestinal tract. Sure, if you do this then you might have the balance with nature that you wanted, but at what cost? You will be known as the smelly dirty hippie who never cleans his or her toilet.

Go/Roku Nensei Pets

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Yoshihiro: Dad, do you remember that you said I could have a pet if I brought up my grades?

Yoshihiro's dad: Hmmmm... You have been getting good grades in school. I think you're ready for the responsibility. You can pick any cow you like. Toshiki, pass the steak would you?

Yoshihiro: Can I have the calf with the big eyes?

Yoshihiro's dad: Why not? What's her name?

Yoshihiro: Britney! She's so cute, just like my cow!

Yoshihiro's dad: Great Yoshi-kun, make sure Britney eats a lot every day, and don't make her get too much exercise. On another note, have you boys noticed that beef prices at an all time high, thanks to the BSE situation in America? We're going to Disneyland this Summer!

Yoshihiro: What's wrong Toshiki?

Toshiki: I can't find Mary. I looked everywhere, but she just isn't on the farm! It's all my fault dad. I lost her... forgive me!

Yoshihiro's dad: There, there son. I forgot to tell you that I had to send Mary away to Bovine University. You want her to be happy, right? Wow, this steak is awesome!

Toshiki: Yeah... I do, but I don't understand...

Yoshihiro's dad: Great! Glad that's settled. Yoshihiro, can you pass the A-1?

Welcome to Mindhead

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Yikes! We got our drug education from DARE (at Courreges Elementary), who did a decent job of educating without too much propaganda. Do you remember seeing Dianetics...

Dianetics junior much better then Krishna,
Dianetics junior much better indeed,
And all you people there, your tremendous,
Except the people in the middle,
When you're toking up a big ass bowl of weed,with me, and KG
All Right! Oh Yeah! All Right! Oh my god!

Would all the ladies in the house say Yeah! (Yeah)
C'mon, all you motherfuckers say a prayer! (prayer)
Cause when you fight, you gotsta fight fair!
You mother fucker, huh? You mother fucker,
You know what time it is?

It's Tenacious D time you motherfucker blow!
Fuck yeah!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Dude, that was TNT...
(Tenacious D rules!)

...commercials on during Saturday morning cartoon breaks? The volcano spouting lava looked so cool, and the persuasive voice oozing the words "It will change your life forever!" almost made me want to read the book (I can't believe I can still remember this! is it a testament to their skills of persuasion?)! Good thing I was only 5 years old, and had to depend on my parents to read anything harder than Dr. Seuss out loud to me.

Keep it together, Kit... Keep it together! More info on Mindhead.

Higothai

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This is the Higothai flower, the flower of Ubuyama village. As some of you may know I used to hate bees. They used to sting me quite often. even though I avoided them, they would regularly land on me and jab me with their stingers. One time, I had to take a Tae Kwon Do orange belt test even though I had been stung on the sole of my foot- I passed, but it hurt like hell. I have since overcome my fear, and so I was able to get really close to this one.

Guardians of the 442 Gosen

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This one looks like the golden idol that Indiana Jones steals in the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark. It looks like he's not happy about something.

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Something tells me that that isn't a hatchet used for chopping wood. Dude looks ready for battle.

Ode To Inaka Ninniku

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On a routine after-work drive, deep in the country I spotted an unattended shack with a sign that read "yasai (vegetables), 100 yen". Nestled among the daikon and shiitake mushrooms was a mesh bag containing two choice clusters of garlic. For some reason, the garlic caught my eye, and so I dropped my 100 yen coin into the rusted steel tea cannister (tink!) and drove away satisfied with my transaction.

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This is the setup I'm talking about. These daikon (giant Japanese radish) are not only ridiculously cheap, but are also fresher than anything you will ever find in Jusco.

Where else in the world can you find high quality produce by the side of the road and buy it based on the honor system? If this was Orange County, or even Kumamoto City, the cash box would be stolen at the very least and the vegetables would be thrown at the passing traffic! When theft does occur out here it is a big deal like it should be, and the cops come out and spend much time and effort trying to do everything they can to help. Out here is one place where I don't harbor negative feelings about the police. It is in their best interest, as part of a tightly woven community of country folk, to do their best job and to be friendly. I understand why cops back home can be (and sometimes have to be) such assholes, but as a result I tend not to like them. It still makes me laugh when I remember going to Baja Fresh with Justin, hearing the worker ask the police officer "would you like beef or pig?" tacos.

Enough on cops, lets get back to garlic. This garlic that I bought was special. It was about the same price as garlic in the supermarket, but it was much superior. One thing that you can count on about country grown produce is that the farmers plant very good varieties because they are eating what they produce. Producing one's own food is such a foreign concept for many people living in places like the U.S. or in big cities, as we are all disconnected from where it comes from and how it is made. My neighbors grow all of their own rice, vegetables, and in some cases chicken, eggs, and meat that they need, and surplus. It is this surplus that they give to their friends, barter, or sell in the booths. So the garlic that I bought from the stall is the same variety that some country family is enjoying as well.

What strikes me about this garlic is that it is so powerful. When I chop up onions nowadays, it is rare for my eyes to water from the fumes. However, when I mince my garlic up into tiny cubes, my eyes sting and well up, despite me wearing glasses. It hurts, but I know that the pain is worth it. The flavor of the garlic is rich and strong and full bodied, but not in an overpoweringly stinky way. Maybe it's just a placebo, but I feel more healthy after consuming it. One more special thing about this garlic is that the skin peels away from the cloves without any fuss. Whoever developed this particular cultivar of garlic knew what they were doing, and did it well.

Talking about cultivars and heirloom species reminds me of listening to Professor David A. Cleveland from U.C.S.B. lecture about the effect of cultivated plants on society and the environment. Professor Cleveland regularly went all over the world deep into the countryside, where people had developed intimate relationships with the crops that they harvested, from Oaxaca, Mexico to Syria. He was quite passionate about the importance of preserving these cherished species not because he anthropomorphisized them in any way, but because these specific cultivars have very useful traits that have been engineered over thousands of years by farmers, specific to their locations and needs. Companies like Monsanto and other biotech firms go into the countryside and get samples of these plants, often giving nothing back to the farmers in return and exploiting this resource, making a huge profit. Why is this a big deal? Because the farmers in these areas are getting doubly screwed. It is because of the farmers and their ancestors that these strains exist, and it has taken them great time and effort to develop and maintain these. The cultivars and their DNA are rightfully the intelectual property of the farmers who developed them. In addition, these big companies sell the bioengineered strains to these farmers, driving many to develop a dependence on them. This leads many farmers to abandon the very crops that the engineered strains might have been developed from, since they tend to be high yield varieties that in the short term out perform the local crops.

The local cultivars are there for a good reason. They are ideally suited to that specific environment and that specific microclimate, and have allowed farmers to produce the maximum yield sustanably over an indefinite period of time. The strain of corn in one village might be completely different from the strain used the next village over due to subtle, yet important differences in hydrology, geology, temperature, or any number of variables.

With the adoption of commercial, all purpose seed, these cultivars are being lost. Unique, valuable genetic sequences that took countless generations to create vanish, all for the pursuit of maximizing profits in the short term (and creating a dependence based on petro-chemicals, depleting the soil, and creating other environmental and socioeconomic problems in the long run). One of the most tragic things about monoculture using the same seed is that it takes away the variety from food. Instead of countless choices, it all becomes the same. I find this loss of flavor, texture, and uniqueness to be truly disturbing.

Luckily, the fields in my neck of the woods are small, ununiform, and terraced. The farmers grow an assortment of different crops, and the people value their favorite strains of vegetables, fruits, and mushrooms. I mean, the farmers do depend on petro-chemicals to raise their crops and produce rice and other products for the mass market, but they also grow the old strains for their personal consumption. I am pretty sure that the future of the wonderful garlic that I ate will be safe in the hands of these country farmers, deep in the heart of Kyushu.

Unorthodox Wu-Shu

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If a modern day Bruce steps forward to take up the challenge, a remake of Enter The Dragon is entirely possible with the help of Donald Rumsfeld (Thanks to Chris for the link) who will be cast as Han, the evil geriatric dude who makes life as a hand amputee look pretty cool with the interchangeable prosthetic hands of death. The part of Yang Sze (Bolo) is to be played by Bob Sapp, who claims "NFL" as his fighting style.

Not Too Shabby

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Ultraman Attack

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Makiko, Waka, and Sayuki prepare to whoop some ass.

Violent Crime in Japan

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Is there a higher rate of violent crime and crime in general in the United States than there is in Japan? Yes, I think that's a safe thing to say.

Japan is the model most often used by advocates of the prohibition of firearms. There is no private ownership of handguns, and among 120 million people there are only a little more than half a million privately owned long guns, including air rifles.

Japan's annual homicide rate has been progressively decreasing for a decade and now stands at 1.2 per 100,000. It is reported that 97% of murders are solved - the highest clearance rate in the world.

Japan is one of the most disciplined nations on earth, with an authoritarian and conformist culture that precludes large scale law-breaking. There are few constraints on police powers, especially with respect to search and seizure. Rates of crimes not usually associated with firearms - rape, mugging and assault, are the lowest in the world and are trifling by European and North American standards. Japanese do not kill each other in large numbers because they are, in all respects, extremely law-abiding people. Interestingly, the current Japanese suicide rate of 21 per 100,000 is double the Canadian rate and almost double the rate in the United States. (this study is from 1992)

Japanese frequently and fervently insist that the U.S. is much more dangerous than Japan, but this is almost always based upon what they hear on the news and the movies that they see. I try to explain that only the most sensational news makes international headlines, and that aside from certain locations, the U.S. is a pretty safe place, and some people understand this.

However, the average Japanese violent crime is a hell of a lot more scary than the average violent crime in America. Although the amounts of crimes in which people shoot each other is really low in Japan, a lot of people are slicing and stabbing their victims over here. It makes sense. If there are no guns to kill people with, then you are left with knives. It takes a different kind of killer to weild an edged weapon and to stab and slash someone to death. In comparison, it's pretty easy to kill with a gun. All you have to do is to aim and squeeze the trigger, and the bullet fills the gap between you and your target, driving itself into a body with its own momentum. If you stand far enough away, you won't get any blood on you. With a knife, it's always up close and personal and involves using muscle work and body movements to penetrate flesh (unless you are throwing it, but how many of us would throw a knife at someone we wanted to kill? if you miss, they could pick up the knife and stab you!). You are guarenteed to get blood on your hands. I imagine that killing up close leaves a greater impression on the murderer because it is an intimate act. The greater the physical distance from the victim, the greater the emotional distance can be.

Two days ago, a little girl in the sixth grade used a box cutter to murder a classmate at Okubo Elementary School (in Nagasaki-ken). Lets take a look at an article from the Daily Yomiuri (Thursday, June 3rd, 2004):

"I slashed at her after getting her to sit on a chair. I wanted to kill her," police sources quoted the girl as saying. According to Sasebo Police Station and the Sasebo Municipal Board of Education , the sixth-grade girl and Satomi Mitarai, the 12-year-old victim, liket to play with computers and frequently chatted with another friend on their own homepages. The alleged perpetrator also was quoted as telling the police, "Because her (Satomi's) attitude was cheeky, I called her (to a study room) and slashed her neck. The police are investigating what Satomi wrote to the alleged assailant on the Internet and their conversations before the attack.

She killed her classmate because she was being flamed (teased in a chatroom)! And this wasn't exactly a crime of passion. She planned it out, lured the girl into a room and had her sit down, clicked the box cutter blade out a few notches, and went for the neck! This evil act is so perverted, so unbelievable that it is hard to comprehend how someone, especially an 11 year old Japanese girl, could do it so casually. According to the article, she's pretty calm about the whole situation and doesn't seem to be exhibiting signs of remorse.

I remember my brother telling me about a case a few years back about a boy attending JHS in Kobe who cut off his friend's head and stuck it on a pole in front of the school (mentioned in this article). Seems like a story out of Lord of the Flies, with something far more scary than a pig's head impaled on a stick. So yes, the United States is a violent place compared to Japan, but I would argue that Japan's brand of violence is, on average, committed by a much more emotionally disturbed individual, as most of the attacks in Japan are done with knives (another article from today reported that a cleaver and hammer were found next to the corpses of two Japanese men yesterday) and other close quater weapons.

Battle Royale doesn't seem so much like fiction anymore.

Cynops pyrrhogaster

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This is a Japanese Firebellied Newt that one of my students caught in the Tamarai River that runs next to my Chugakko. Yesterday, my JTE decided to have class outside, and to "wing it". As would be expected when kids are taken outdoors and there is no lesson plan, the kids didn't learn any English, but we had a great time playing in the river.

Thanks, I think...

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Today, I walked in to the lunch room and heard the nursery school teachers mumbling my name. They collectively looked up, all of them wearing the same conspiratorial grin and called me a "Casablanca dandy". Now what the hell does one make of that?

Game over man! Game over!

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The only insects that I hate are those which suck my blood or are unreasonably agressive toward me. I will not hesitate to kill a mosquito or to crush a flea between my fingernails, but house centipedes test me on these self-imposed limits. Their grotesque body and movements fascinate me, but also give me a strong case of the goosebumps. The reason why I am so creeped out by these guys is that one of them crawled across my bare thigh about 2 years ago, and I can still remember that unpleasant sensation.

As I was preparing to take a shower, this thing shot out of the shadows and stopped in front of me. My first inpulse was to kill it, but I decided to guide it outside with a broom instead (with a can of insecticide close at hand in case things got ugly). This ugly bastard's body was about 2.5 inches long, but the antannae at each end (disgusting!) stretched it out to about 6 inches total. The way these things move is truly disturbing, evoking similar feeling to those I experience watching the bug-like creatures in Aliens try to face hump a victim and shove their ovipositor down the throat! Well, the shower has been running for 20 minutes now, so I guess I should stop acting like a wussy and just get it over with. I'm taking my spray can of DDT with me though.

Sannensei Text Bubbles

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Today the chugakko third graders were given a picture of two OLs(office ladies) sitting together on a bench, eating lunch together and having a conversation. They were given 20 minutes to write dialogue and I was proud of what they were able to accomplish. Here are a couple of samples from class (No corrections have been made to the original works):


Talkin' Smack About the Boss

O.L. 1: I hear Kacho has only recently begun to losing hair.

O.L. 2: Really?

O.L. 1: Moreover he thinks he's cool. He's a fool.

O.L. 2: Oh, he's a narcist.

O.L. 1: Thats right. And yet his waif ran away!

O.L. 2: that's too bad.

O.L. 1: Oh Kacho is coming.

O.L. 2: Run Away!


Pig Woman

A: How are you?

B: I'm drunk and very dangerous now

A: What did you drink yesterday

B: I drank milk.

A: Are you crazy?

B: No. I'm usually not

A: OK. I know. So do you know pig

B: Yes. I am pig

A: Are you OK? Do you understand

B: No I am sleeping now. I solly

A: I don't want to talk to you anymore bye bye

B: Oh No woooooo


About Relationships

Fumi: Kazuki! How are you?

Kazuki: So so. Fumi! How about you?

Fumi: I'm sad. Because I had a fight with Yasuhiro

Kazuki: That's too bad. Why?

Fumi: Yasuhiro had an affair with Shunichi.

Kazuki: Oh! Fumi is poor.


Shitsukoi

A: I often catch my boyfriend.

B: This lunch is very delicious.

A: I often catch my boyfriend.

B: I have to go to work Bye!

A: I often catch my boyfriend. I must kill you.


Now that's what English class is all about...

Brood

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I found a commune of funnel web spiders in Kikuka this weekend, when exploring a huge rock outcropping in the hills. The spiders reminded me of the ones in the Hobbit, and I imagined hundreds of tiny, hungry eyes watching, evaluating me, patiently waiting.

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But these spiders were cool. There were tons of mosquitoes out, and I took satisfaction in knowing that many would be doomed to stumble into the complex of webs, their futile struggles transmitted down the gossamer strands, the vibrations transformed into impulses sparking across synapses of the arachnid, triggering a tiger-like pounce, mandibles of death injecting an acid as corrosive as the blood of a Giger Alien. Haha, game over man! Burn, you miserable mosquito. Burn.

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This weekend, while chilling at Joe's I was laying on the tatami when I felt something crawling next to me. I ignored it until it happened again, and was scared shitless when I saw a three inch long centipede on my arm. I flung it off, and Joe proceeded to douse it for a full minute with insecticide spray, as it writhed and whipped and jumped around in agony. I'm just glad I didn't get bitten by the bastard. I like looking at the suckers, but I HATE it when they touch me!

Poop Fiction

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I just found a new demographic for Kevin to bestow his enlightenment upon in this article. Dude, your words are brown gold to the next generation:

The content might seem off-colour to some, but potty humour is big in the world of popular children's literature - from the Captain Underpants series to such best-selling titles as Zombie Butts From Uranus! - and some parents and authors believe the genre is attracting otherwise reluctant readers.

"You have to give kids something they want to read," says Glenn Murray, an educator-turned-children's author from Canada.

Murray co-wrote two books featuring Walter The Farting Dog, a flatulent pooch whose problem saves the day time and time again. The author believes his smelly protagonist is an ambassador for literacy.

My favorite book about excrement is one that I read to my nursery school students called "Unchi", or in English, "Poop" (do you notice how no one uses this word anymore. the last time I remember hearing it was when I last watched Billy Madison). Highly recommended!

To anyone who missed it, the tapeworm story is a must read! Pork is starting to sound a lot more appetizing...


Takachiho-kyou

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Takachiho, located in Northern Miyazaki-ken, is a beautiful, mountanous area. I have heard that bears can still be found in the surrounding forest, but have yet to see one. Also the aincent Kagura dance, the dance that represents the creation of Nippon (including the part about luring Amaterasu out of hiding in a cave in Aso), is performed in an isolated pocket of country deep in the mountains around here, for more than 24 straight hours by a die hard group of people carrying on the traditions of old (if you are interested in learning about Kagura, the Kagura-en in Namino has a guided tour, performances, and a (very boring) instructional video that you can experience, and you can learn how to make your very own soba with your hands. on a serious note, the soba soft serve is kick ass here- coming from Kumamoto City you can find the Kagura-en off of the 57, just past Takimurozaka). This particular location is Takachiho-kyou, or Takachiho Gorge.

This Week's Recipe

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I have been enjoying a certain dish lately, so much so that I'm going to post it:

Pork Flavored Garlic Stir Fry

Ingredients:
7 cloves of strong garlic, minced
3 pork chops, cut into bite sized pieces
1/2 large onion, cubed
3 bell peppers (preferably red or yellow, but green can be added for color) cubed
1 tablespoon of sesame oil
1 tablespoon of olive oil
1 tablespoon of shoyu
1 tablespoon of mirin
1/2 teaspoon of hot sauce

Spices:
garlic salt
pepper
montreal steak seasoning

Dipping sauce:
Mix 2 parts of Thai sweet chili sauce to 1 part Shiracha

Directions:
Heat up your pan until it is really hot, and then add the oil, and spread it around the pan. Next, keep the heat on high add the vegetables and braise them for about 2 minutes. Add the pork, garlic, and seasonings, and then add the shoyu and mirin. Cook until the pork has a nice seared color. For best results, keep the heat high, and aim to cook the vegetables so that they are still crunchy, but not raw. Serve over rice, and dip morsels into the sauce. I enjoyed the flavor of the dish both with and without sauce, but you can mix the sauce into the dish as well.

The reason I like this dish is because:
1. It is cheap. Beef is more expensive right now over here. Bell peppers are fairly priced as well.
2. It's fast.
3. It has lots of garlic, but maintains a good flavor balance.
4. I have way much more garlic salt and steak seasoning than I could ever use in Ubuyama (one year of use has only resulted in 1/3 use of Costco sized Lawry's seasonings).
5. I love the smell of sesame oil frying in a hot pan.

Reflections On The Caldera

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The Last Undokai

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The undokai is described as a "sports festival", and that's exactly what it it. I had a hard time accepting this term at face value, because the concept was foreign to me, but that's exactly what it is. The whole community comes together to participate in the festivities, and play wacky Japanese-style group games. Undokai are an important social event that brings everyone together for one whole exhausting day.

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This year, I was on the victorious red team. The kids are gettin' their kung-fu poses on, Big Trouble In Little China style.

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My students put in hours practicing a really cool dance, but I think that the dude on the right (Chiyuki) blew it, judging from the looks on Tomoyuki's (center) and Masaoki's (right) faces.

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I really like my student's paintings this year. The red team's character wielding the wakizashi looks "Sassy" (Sprechen sie sassy?).

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Now that's sassy!

Death By Pepto-Bismol

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I KNEW I wasn't wasting my time, spending so many hours killing goombas, orcs, and terrorists! If only my parents had encouraged me, I could be making the big bucks in Korea (thanks to Chris for the link). Does anyone remember that movie where a kid has to battle the rich kid who uses a Nintendo Power Glove (TM) in a video game tournament? That idea crashed and burned, didn't it. Kind of like the robot and gyroscope that came with the NES. Back then, who would have predicted that the common mouse and keyboard would still be the gamer's choice of equipment four years past 2000? I was hoping for electrodes to read my brainwaves, or something a little more advanced than a glorified typewriter interface...

Moderation is Masturbation?

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Reading about a group of people meddling in the lives of other groups of people when they have no good reason to makes me angry and confused as to why they do such things. I mean, even breaching certain topics with people you don't know is much like the act of craning your neck, or being the victim of somone doing so, to get a better view of how big of a dick the guy standing at the next urinal has. I get similar feelings when tampon commercials come on at unexpected times. Too much information exchange. I don't even know that cheerleader jumping on the trampoline, why should I know about her vajina!

I find it strange that many members of the Christian church are so vehement in their condemnation of sex, and especially masturbation. It is interesting to note that "the Latin translation of masturbate, masturbare, which is a combination of two Latin words, manus (hand) and stuprare (defile), thus "to defile with the hand."", is inherently loaded with a negative connotation. This attitude towards sex is unhealthy, both mentally and physiologically, but it is widely accepted by many members of society. Does this sound like practical advice to you?:

"Remain calm and tell yourself, 'You don't own me, masturbation! I'm taking my life back!' (or something of that nature). If that doesn't work, you can pursue alternatives like chewing gum, blasting John Lennon's song 'Cold Turkey,' eating chocolate or whatever helps you best (not masturbation)."

The ministry is based on Matthew 5:27-30, which condemns lust and recommends amputating body parts that cause a believer to sin, "for it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell." (from Wired).

The poor bastards... Not only are most of them feeling bad when they inevitably "relapse" (and you know that most people do!), but they don't seem to realize that they are promoting an unhealthy lifestyle. They are even encouraged to Bobbitize themselves if they can't kick the habit! Ouch! According to a BBC report, flogging the dolphin acts to clean out the plumbing:

Dr Giles said fewer ejaculations may mean the carcinogens build up.

"It's a prostatic stagnation hypothesis. The more you flush the ducts out, the less there is to hang around and damage the cells that line them."

A similar connection has been found between breast cancer and breastfeeding, where lactating appeared to "flush out" carcinogens, reduce a woman's risk of the disease, New Scientist reports.

Another theory put forward by the researchers is that ejaculation may induce prostate glands to mature fully, making them less susceptible to carcinogens.

But pleasuring one's self can help out both sexes, and also help to develop and strengthen intimate relationships:

...some experts argue that masturbation improves sexual health by increasing an individual's understanding of his or her own body and of what is erotically pleasing, building self-confidence and fostering self-acceptance. (Discovery Health)

I never wondered whether people actually believed that masturbation causes blindness or makes hair grow on palms, but I am starting to. It seems to me that groups like XXXChurch are merely misguided masochists, subscribing to a perverted vision of faith. I mean, wouldn't God reward those who refrained from using their genitalia from all acts except strictly for straight forward copulation? It doesn't seem very benevolent to bless those who walk the straight and narrow path with PROSTATE CANCER or a lesser understanding of one's partner.

On the other hand, here is an article written by a group known as Liberated Christians. You should especially pay attention to the "How Masturbation Got it's Bad Rap" section. I was surprised to learn that Kellogg (the cereal tycoon) tried to use his cornflakes to battle spankage, and "For those masturbators whom snacks could not cure, Kellogg suggested circumcision without anesthesia.".

Red Cow

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This is an akaushi (aka means red, and ushi is cow, as opposed to the *shooting from the hip* holstein in Justin's picture) that I stumbled upon while driving the 40 into Ichinomiya. It's interesting to see how people take care of their crops and livestock. It seems to me that the richer the rancher, the less attention each animal gets. The real small scale farmers treat each plant and animal with great importance, I suppose, because losing one cow could mean the only cow that they own.

Ubuyama is now famous for their beef and, to a lesser degree, dairy products. The akaushi is truly a delicious variety, and fat is evenly distributed through out the meat. My village serves a really expensive cut of this beef in an interesting way. They take a huge, prime slab and cut off slices as it grills, reminiscent of kabob but much thicker.

One thing that I don't understand is why no one around here can appreciate a good thick steak, pot roast, or juicy cut of prime rib. They prefer to eat it cut up into small cuts known simply as yakiniku. Since these slices of meat are so thin (usually about 4mm thick), you can't really eat them rare. They cook too fast for that, but yakiniku is certainly delicious. You can treat yourself to a steak in Ubuyama up around Hokubu, however a steak dinner will set you back no less than 3,000 yen. I have only gone once and it was worth it, but I that was a one time deal. The proprietor sent me home with a block of tofu, some tomatoes, and let me take home some tsukemono- they have 27 different types that are available to try!

So what happens when I look upon the face of my dinner as it is still a living, breathing creature of God? My stomach rumbles, and I think "damn, that akaushi looks really delicious". It is interesting to note that I had the opposite reaction looking at, and more importantly smelling, the cattle of Harris ranch in Central California.

The Hunger

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Right now I'm searching the net for pictures to make a complete phonics lesson, and while looking for "cheeseburger", I stumbled upon this. Seeing this image has awakened the hunger. It is right before lunch so I will be eating shortly, but this will not satisfy my craving for some fresh grilled meat patties and cheese sandwiched between two crispy, soft buns, iceburg lettuce, grilled onions, and a slice of tomato. Might as well splurge and get a large vanilla shake and french fries.

According to the reciept, the thing in the picture is a 12x12 (a 4x4 + 8 patties and 8 slices of cheese, meaning it has a total of 12 patties and 12 slices of mouth-watering cheddar cheese) and cost a mere $10.15. I have only eaten a 3x3 personally, but many friends from high school as well as Justin and Kohei have downed a 4x4, and I think they were full. I don't think that any one person is capable of eating a 12x12. It's just not physiologically possible.

Actually, I think that a regular cheeseburger has the perfect ratio of every ingredient. I the beef and cheese overpowers everything else if you order anything larger than a double double.

If you haven't eaten at In N Out burger, you are missing out. If you are a hardcore In N Out junkie, then you know the secret menu which includes but is not limited to the following:

4x4- 4 patties, 4 slices of cheese
3x3- 3 patties, 3 slices of cheese
animal style- mustard grilled onto the patty
protein style- lettuce serves as the bun
grilled cheese- self explanatory

These are all I remembered off of the top of my head, but you can find the rest here.

If you are truly down, then you have noticed that there are bible verses written on the packaging. If you are like me, then you have not bothered to look them up, but you can find them on the page hyperlinked above.

Finding Big Buddhas

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In my neck of the woods of Japan, finding a statue of buddha is an everyday occourance. They are everywhere, and not all buddhas capture my eye. This one, in Taketa-shi, was remarkable.

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It blows my mind that I have been living here for almost two years, and I still haven't found every spectacle within driving distance. I spend a good amount of time trying to find new wonderful places, and I am yet to come up dry. Frankly, I am worried that I won't get to see everything before I leave, so it's time to step up the pace of my expeditions.

Carved into a verticle cliff with two fierce companions at his flank, this Buddha looks ready to bring the pain with his upraised sword. The caves to the right of the carvings hold temples that are under repair. To get here from Kumamoto (it doesn't matter from where, as long as you get to the 57), take the 57 East towards Oita City and follow the signs to the Fukoji Temple Magaibutsu Stone Buddhas.

Oita's Niagara Falls

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After visiting the Oka Castle Ruins (in Taketa) I stumbled upon a sign that lead me to "Oita's Niagara Falls".

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I guess it is kind of reminiscent of Niagara, but I was disappointed that they built a bridge across the top that acts as a dam, preventing water from cascading down the full width of the falls. It doesn't seem like they even really needed to build it, in this specific spot anyhow. There is a perfectly serviceable bridge within view of this spot.

It's really sad how the Japanese often mold natural spots into things that detract from the over all beauty when they don't really need to. It is as if they need to put the stamp of man on nature, like a rancher brands his heard to make sure everyone knows that it's his. I'm not against putting a bridge over the river, but I just think they could have done it in a more tasteful manner.

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The area along the falls protected by the dam allow me to crawl into a pocket carved into the limestone on the edge to get a view of the water streaming over. On a side note, there are tons of fish in the reservoir next to the falls. If I have time, I am coming back with my fishing equipment.

Hahaha, it will be interesting to see if anyone is disapppointed by this post due to the misleading title. I think that these blue worms are a likely source of inspiration for those, uh... creative cartoon monsters, but on to the monster annelids.

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It is inevitable that on a nature hike with kids at English camp, the boys come across one of these shockingly blue iradescent nightcrawlers (mimizu in Japanese). They are then obliged to chase girls around with it, to use it as a whip on eachother (hee-yah! whoopshhhh! Oh wait, no, thats what an American kid would say...), and finally to throw it in the face of one of the counselors. No it wasn't me. If it were my face, I would have made the little bastards eat it while teaching the others to sing "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I think I'll eat some worms".

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These things are just nasty looking and big (about 3/4 of a foot- yes! I thought I forgot all about the standard measurement system after moving to Japan...). They move in an oozing manner, stretching out, and then scrunching their bodies forward among the humus and leaf litter. I have a feeling that they have few natural predators because they taste nasty or are poisonous. A hunk of easy to catch, brightly colored protein doesn't tend to last long in the forest.

They Call Me DJ Bruce

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I just rediscovered I Know Where Bruce Lee Lives (AKA The Ultrainteractive Kungfu-Remixer), after not having seen it for six years. The music reminds me of some of the music in Kill Bill (especially "Victory" mode), and the German sound bytes are priceless! Now I know how to say "I'm gonna send you to Hell!" in Doitsu-go. This site goes hand in hand with Giant Robot's Bruce Made Tapes graphic.

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Regarding Kevin's thoughts on Kill Bill- although I don't disagree with him, I love the movie just the way it is. I was far too engrossed in it to lend any attention to any thoughts get in the way of me enjoying the experience. Before I watched it, I remember thinking that this movie is Tarantino's Spaghetti Western, and so I just accepted it as it was and didn't try to "count bullets" (like I usually do). I do think it would be interesting to see how the scene would turn out if it was choreographed in a manner authentic to real Japanese swordsmanship (not the Kendo-ized version, but rather the "two hands as one" Musashi interpretation).

The fight against the Crazy 88 really reminded me of the fight scene in the restaraunt in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, (and evoked memories of Hiro Protagonist's showdown in the Black Sun) except for the gallons of blood and countless dismembered body parts in Kill Bill. It's one of those scenes where there is so much gore that you can not help but laugh, and revel in the comic absurness of its over-the-top brutality. I experience the same type of laughter watching the Evil Dead series, especially when Ash smashes the possessed girl over and over with a 4x4 post (smack! smack! smack!) when she refuses to quit her insane laughing fit.

Takana

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On the second week of April I was recruited to help process Ubuyama's freshly harvested takana while on my way to the laundromat. I pulled into the parking lot and was surprised to find it being used as a loading dock. I swerved to avoid the scattered pyres of takana and a forklift with a full load (a vegetable that looks like a cross between celery, bok choi, and spinach) and proceeded to unload two heaping baskets full of wet clothes bound for the driers. A farmer approached me and asked for my help. Even though I had only met him a couple of times before, I dropped what I was doing and headed into the warehouse to lend a hand.

Inside I met many more of my students' parents, all relaxing and eating some real country Japanese food. They served me some smoked cod that had so much salt on it, that it was almost painful to taste along with takana musubi and assorted tsukemono. They explained that this fish was a traditional food in Ubuyama. In the old days, before the 57 was built, they could not get fresh seafood, so it had to be heavily salted in order to survive the trip inland. When we finished eating, we got to work.

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The okusans are taking an ocha break and shooting the breeze in between frantic shifts.

Touring Central Kyushu

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My favorite thing to do in Kyushu is to drive. I love driving in rural Kyushu for the following reasons:
*having the roads all to myself
*cutting around curve after curve after curve
*the rush of adrenaline I get from a well executed pass
*the smell of mountain air rushing in from my fully open side windows
*driving those neglected roads that no one else deems worth their time
*pushing my trusty Civic "Formula" Hatchback to its limits and taking care of it in return
*slingshotting out of a curve, pressing on the gas through the exit
*not having to use the break at all, controlling everything with the gas peddle (I do wish that I had a manual transmission, though)
*finding my way by using my compass and intuition, and occasionnaly my Super Mapple Kyushu Edition
*knowing that the music that I am enjoying at any particular moment is almost *certainly the first time anyone has ever enjoyed that particular piece in that *specific area (and most likely the last).
*discovering places that even the locals don't know about or have forgotten.
*driving behind a skilled driver for a length of time and learning more about *driving by watching and imitating them.
*driving in adverse conditions with full confidence in my abilities and the abilities of my car
*experiencing a sustained runner's high while driving (Although I have never had one when I was running, go figure).
*achieving a meditative state through driving
*learning kanji and new vocabulary from the roadside
*finding good places to sit down and read, hike, or explore
*seeing how many alternative paths there are to any one location
*looking for a good photographic opportunity
*seeing how many kilometers I can put on the odometer
*only losing traction when I specifically intend to
*splashing through a big puddle, shooting up a wave or rooster tail
*driving fast through a long tunnel
*remembering the location of speed traps and making mental notes of where the cops might be waiting in ambush
*narrowly avoiding running over/ smacking into assorted wildlife (tanuki, weasels, foxes, rabbits, wild boars, birds, caterpillars, frogs, snakes, etc...)
*flashing the hazards for courteous, experienced drivers who let me pass

These pictures were taken today, with the exception of the Roman Aqueduct, during a 4 and a half hour long drive around Aso. There are so many roads to explore around here, and just not enough time.

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I found this aqueduct last Friday when driving the 8, south of Taketa (Oita-ken). It's strange finding works like these in the middle of nowhere.

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This is Shiraito-taki, or in English, "white thread waterfall". In Nishihara, way off the main roads I came across this stunning waterfall. Kyushu is full of beautiful waterfalls, and I often come across them on my wanderings.

Signs With No Meaning

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Back at home, the majority of people are pretty good at giving directions by using street names. You need to be aware of street names, landmarks, and where things are because its an important part of the culture of California. Although driving is also the main way that everyone gets around in these parts, it's not the same in Kumamoto or in Japan from what I have gathered trying to get my bearings for the past year and nine months since I got here. Most people don't know street names, and some don't even recognize the route 3, 11, or the 57 by their names. This would be like not knowing the names of the I-5, 405, or the 101 back home!

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One of the reasons why people don't remember the names is because they are stupidly marked. If a friend gave the directions to "take the 204 to Fukuoka, and you will find the place on the side of the road", then you might well pick the wrong 204 and never find the place until you reached Fukuoka and realised that it might have been on the OTHER 204. Idiotic. I mean, you could clarify by saying "take the 204 to the right by the bypass", but why should you have to. How hard is it to change the name of one of the roads?

My favorite road, the Milk Road, is also marked in a confusing manner. From its spawn point at the Yamanami highway (the 11) it heads off West as the 45 for about fifteen kilometers. Then, for no apparent reason it becomes the 12 for about a ten kilometer stretch, and then reverts to the 45 once again, terminating in Kikuchi (on the 387) after passing through the Gorge (a highly recommended drive!). This is why I think people prefer to use landmarks instead of street names to navigate. The only constants that people will most likely know of are the various legs of the Kyushu expressway, the 3, the 11, and the 57.

Landmarks work surprisingly well, but can also be confusing if improperly used in giving directions. If someone tells you to perform an action (such as turn, go past, etc.) at a conbini (convenience store) then you better get supplemental information. There are so many Lawsons, Family Marts, and 7-11s in close proximity to eachother that navigating by these alone is likely to get you lost.

My friend Jason Wians takes giving directions by using these methods to extremes. The first time I was coming to his house he said the following:

"From Aso, go towards the airport (in Mashiki). Pass the airport, and two or three signals after you will see some ostriches on the left. Turn left. When you see the Everyone (conbini) take a left. Keep going straight until you see some vending machines (this is like saying keep going straight until you see a tree) and turn left. Go straight until you see a hoikuen, and take the right just before you pass it. Take a left at the dog and a right after the old man, and my house will be on the left. Alright, good luck. Yeehaw! Texas rules!!! (which is how he ends every conversation that he has)".

Well, I followed the directions and got there with no problems! Go figure. Had he used the street signs I might have gotten lost, as the "left at the ostrich" street and the next street are both called the 235 and run parallel to eachother for a great distance.

View Full of Aso on the 45

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Click the image to see a larger version.

This is my most recent attempt at a panoramic collage. I live ten minutes from this beautiful vantage point, perched along the Yamanami Highway in Northern Aso. People say that these mountains look like a sleeping Buddha. The Eastern (in the left of the picture) peaks of Neko-dake are the head, and the feet point to the South.

You can tell by looking around that this is a special place. If you imagine what must have happened on a geological timeframe to create the largest caldera in the world (the towns of Ichinomiya and Aso below in the valley lie in this caldera), and what forces must have erected the proud mountains in the middle it sends shivers down your spine. If you are interested in geology, seismology, or fields related to these I think that you would enjoy visiting Japan, bust especially Aso-gun in Kumamoto-ken.

I really like this picture, so I included a larger version below that I layered differently. A tip on photographing around Aso- the air is much clearer the day after it rains hard, like the day that I took these shots.

Kyushu Hitching Pics

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Hitching at night time was difficult. I would not want to pick up someone who looked like this, but surprisingly people almost always stopped for us regardless of the time or the place. If you get stuck out in the country at night, though, you may have to set up camp.

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This is my hitching partner, Mr. Jamie Mackay of Georgia. For some unknown reason, I prefer to introduce him as "James" (no one ever calls him that) to Japanese people.

There And Back

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These past 5 days are stretched across my mind like a speedo straining to cover a bulging German tourist. Yes, I'm back safe from hitchhiking, and it was a great experience. However, three full days of rushing around getting picked up by kind strangers were enough for us. I will write more on this later.

Two days ago, we got back to Kumamoto, partied in the city (it was kind of cool because all of the gaijin that we saw were not our familiar locals. being incognito at home is interesting). The next day, we got back late to Aso and headed out to a music festival on the mountain. It was held at a huge clearing in the forest, and it was raining off and on. People had come from all over Japan and had set up a commune of tents, yurts, tee-pees, and other forms of mobile habitation. It was amazing seeing so many gaijin in Aso, along with Japanese hippies and little kids running around amid this strange environment full of the sounds of djembes, dijaradoos, jews harps, reggae music, and a shakuhachi (I only knew what it was thanks to Zachary Braverman's posts on the subject, and I had a feeling the old dude was good because his beautiful songs sounded like a floating/effortless/improvisational jam session).

I had a great time talking with the people at this festival. Everyone was friendly and it was easy to communicate with them in Japanese or English. The bands were pretty good too, and most of the people at the concert played at least one instrument well. This is the group of people that Taro would be partying with, if he were not married right now.

Last night was the second night that we camped over on the mountain. It had been raining the past couple of days (one of the reasons for truncating the hitchhiking trip), but last night a typhoon rolled over us. I was in my tent thinking about how great my tent was, how it had always been an extremely reliable piece of equipment, and that it only cost 2000 yen. Until last night, it performed flawlessly. However, the winds picked up, gusting across the camp ground, laying waste to our shanty town. The hippies got excited and started to pound on their drums, climaxing when the torrents poured down at their most furious. It blew my tent so hard that the support rods were slapping me in the face and feet. At times, the tent wrapped around me and I felt like I was returning to the womb. I compensated by placing my bag next to the rod that was punching me, and was able to fall asleep in the middle of a raging storm. I remember thinking that the sheets of rain that the wind was driving against my tent's rain cover was eerily similar to the turbulance portrayed in the Twilight Zone episode "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet"- you know- the one with the gremlin tearing apart the airplane wing and William Shatner! I sure do miss the old school episodes of The Twilight Zone). And then I woke up abruptly when the wind finally tore the cover off of my tent, exposing the windscreen (remember, water and wind can pass through a windscreen, but not a windshield) to the blowing downpour. The experience was similar to gunning through the hypothermic chop in a whaler when the hull smashes into a huge wave which is then blown directly into your face. SMACK! "Fuck this! I live close to here, and I want to sleep in a warm futon tonight!" was my immediate resolve. I woke up Jamie (who was still sleeping somehow), and we made a hasty retreat with some other friends back to his place, coming in from the cold. Many others decided to leave the grounds as well, and it was crazy witnessing the devistation amid the campsite. It seemed as if the fog of war had descended upon our hippie commune, and God was punishing the wicked hippies and gaijin. Most tents were clearly not made to cope with such adverse conditions and had collapsed. Only the yurt and teepees stood proudly, taking everything that the storm was throwing at them.

When we were driving back, I could not help but wonder how the other hitchhikers were faring. We were close to home, and so we just headed back to shelter when conditions got insane. Any hitchhikers caught in the middle of nowhere that might have been forced to camp will no doubt be feeling pretty wiped and soaked right about now. Traveling funk is inevitable, tolerable, and not necessarily a bad feeling, but soaked traveling funk does not sound like fun. Anyone picking up a soaked hitchhiker is indeed a kind soul, because that car packed with soggy gear and soggy gaijin is bound to smell like a wet sheep dog.

The Circuit
Day 1
1. Uchinomaki to Mashiki (thanks to the fireman who spoke super-thick Higo-ben
2. Mashiki to Fukuoka (thanks to the computer salesman and his two sons from Fukuoka, on their way back from a soccer game)
3. Tenjin to Karatsu (Walked 20 minutes towards Saga and got picked up by soapland enthusiast in fixed up black Odessey)
Crashed at Luke's house and met Joe. The "Joyfull incident".

Day 2
Started off from 3:00 at onsen near Karatsu.
4. Karatsu to Sasebo (thanks to the old painter)
5. Sasebo to Takeo (thanks to the two college dudes. Jun, maybe we'll make it out to Nagasaki or Fukuoka sometime!)
6. Takeo to Ureshima (thanks to the electrician who fixes security systems. thanks for offering to let us crash in your van for the night)
Set up tent near the expressway in Ureshima

Day 3
7. Ureshima to Omura (thanks to my Japanese dad, Mr. Tanaka, who lives in Karatsu. I dug your old integra- reminded me of my old legend.)
8. Omura to Nagasaki City (thanks to the bus driver driving the bus to pick up rent-a-car customers. Props for dropping us off right in front of the atomic bomb museum)
9. Nagasaki City to Ariake (we walked out of the city towards Unzen for half an hour in the rain, past the expressway entrance. a salesman, one Mr. Hamasaki, who was closing up his used car lot took pity on us, and told us he would take us to somewhere where we would get picked up, but then decided to drive an hour out of his way to get us to the ferry in Ariake. we had a very nice chat, and he was very embarrased to accept a 5 dollar bill as a memento of our ride together. Mr. Hamasaki called up the ferry, and got us to the last one bound for Kumamoto. While en route to Taida, a port 45 minutes North of the city, he called the ferry to make sure that we were all right! Thanks for helping us out with so much- you were by far the most awesome person that we met on the trip.)
Taida to Kumamoto city- train ride. There was no traffic heading towards the city.

Hitchhiking Kyushu

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Jamie and I will be starting out on a 6 day hitchhiking trip from today, planning to reach all of the prefectures in Kyushu. Supposedly this is a friendly competition with several teams from all over Kyushu doing the same thing in order to raise money for charity, but I'm doing it because it sounds like a great way to spend Golden Week.

Packing list: Jansport backpack, toiletries, clothes, assorted tools and maps, camera, tent and sleeping bag, a towel

Expect another barrage of posts when I return on the 5th of May. Until then, I don't think I will see many opportunities to get online. Over and out.

The Oita Coastline

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Despite for all of the problems with this composite photo, I decided to post it. I know that the shot on the right was overexposed, and that all three of the pictures do not match up nicely (argueably I only need to use two of the photos, but what the heck), but I am learning from my mistakes. This is merely me experimenting with a new format, and any suggestions you may have dealing with a technical nature would be appreciated.

I found this post at luminous-landscapes.com especially helpful for explaining what the histogram function on cameras should be used for. Slowly I am learning how to properly use my camera.

A Few Diving Pics

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These were taken at Zamami (jima, I think) at Dragon Lady point.

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Have you ever seen a sea cuke eviscerate? Not pretty...

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These pictures were taken by our guide, a cute 24 year old Okinawan. This one is of some kind of grouper. I want a pet grouper one day that will live under my private dock.

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These small silver fish moved as if controlled by some hivemind. Seeing them move as one really hits home the elegant simplicity of the lateral line. Their mass coordinated movements look so complicated, yet are controlled by a really primitive organ that senses differences in the pressure of the surrounding water.

Saga In Bloom

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If you have read The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown, then you will immediately notice that this picture is bursting with multilayered feminine symbolism. On a side note, I enjoyed reading The Da Vinci Code, but I didn't think it was as good as everyone said it was. For some reason I was expecting the cryptography to be roughly on par with Cryptonomicon. I had a hard time accepting that the "codes" were so easy to solve. I mean, it's not a very good code if I can come up with the answer on my own soon after I read it. Writing a riddle backwards??? I mean, I everyone knows that Da Vinci wrote backwards sometimes, but how could you not immediately recognize this? Especially if you have watched Buckaroo Banzai.

It's not that I don't think that an ultra secret society such as the Priory of Sion wouldn't use riddles to test the knowledge of others inducted into their ranks to preserve their secrets. I just think that they would ALSO use at least a 4096-bit encryption key to protect the comparatively easy riddles. And the cryptex just sounds like some glorified bicycle lock to me- something that would hack it in Da Vinci's time, but surely not today. Some crafty cutting could open that thing up no problem without cracking open the vile of vinegar.

OK, getting back on track: The roses (the symbol of Mary Magdeline, or the wife of Jesus Christ according to the book) are arranged in a pentagram (again, according to the book Venus, originally Aphrodite- the goddess of femininity- draws a perfect pentacle across the night sky every four years which the aincent Greeks decided to commemorate with the Olympics). But since this is Japan, Amaterasu is shining away in the center for good measure. There is so much feminine power in this picture that merely looking at it might cause some women to ovulate!

Nanohana

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This post is for Uncle Rocky, who requested me to put up some pictures of nanohana. Merin sent me this first picture, which I think was taken somewhere in Kansai. The fields of nanohana evoke memories of mustard back home.

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However, the best views of nanohana I have encountered have been down in Kagoshima, during the Nanohana Marathon. In the next picture, you can really see how vibrant this flower really is. Keep in mind that this picture was taken indoors under scant flourescent lighting.

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This is Akari-chan, one of my pre-school students. She reminds me of Merin because she is usually serious and stubborn on occasion. Only recently has she started smiling and laughing frequently. She is also really good at traditional Japanese dance, at only 5 years old.

Late Snow Hike

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As you can probably tell, I have a lot of stuff that I want to post, and not much time to do it. That's why I'm finally getting around to this hike, which I did on Sunday, April 4th- two days after my birthday and one after our fire drills. I woke up at 6:00 to the sound of heavy rain, and thought that Hieda (Tomoya) sensei would want to cancel due to the weather. To be honest, I was hoping this because I hate waking up early, especially if it means enduring freezing rain and exercise. Fortunately, he was game to proceed as we had planned. As we drove North on the Yamanami Highway onto the plains of Kuju, we noticed that the peaks of Kuju, which were brown and bare just yesterday and had been for the previous three weeks, had been covered in a thick layer of snow over night. We ascended the peaks, and started up the trail. No one else was there, which was very strange for this time of year. All the way up, we treaded through thick, virgin snow, each foot fall producing a pleasant sound that was half way between the squeak of squishing styrofoam and the crunch of pea gravel.

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The weather took a turn for the worse, and it started blizzarding. The strong winds slowed our progress, but we made it up in about an hour. At the top, we stumbled upon an emergency shelter, and Hieda sensei made us some ramen and udon with his mess kit. I can't imagine a better tasting meal, with the wind howling and the snow devils swirling about.

On our descent, we were surprised to see who was climbing the mountain in such weather. About 50 people were climbing up, half of them were groups of retired Japanese, mostly old women decked out in the latest climbing gear. The other half responded to my "Konnichiwa" with a "Ahnyoung-haseyo". It was really strange practicing rudimentary Korean (just one word, really) in my corner of Kyushu on a snowy day in April.

Kannon no Taki

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Located North of Saga-shi and Yamato-shi in Saga Prefecture is the picturesque village of Nanayama. This place is almost as country as Ubuyama, but more beautiful.

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The local river cascades down seven waterfalls, and was believed to have healing powers. From what I gathered, a woman who was favored by Hideyoshi was stricken with blindness. After she came to Kannon no Taki (the waterfall of Kannon) and splashed some of the water on her eyes, she could see again.

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This waterfall is Kannon no Taki. I like how many of the sites in Japan where miracles are said to have occoured usually just involve Nature and Humans. God or Gods are credited with the miracles, and many times, memorials and statues are erected in their honor in such a way that they blend in with the environment. What you don't see is the "Jesus in a tortilla/tree branch/window reflection/etc" attractions (at least in Kyushu). I never understood why people would want to spend time looking at these quasi-amusing anomolies. How exactly do those qualify as miracles? All I know is that I often feel invigorated after communing with nature if nothing else.

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Right now, all of the plants in Kyushu are growing at a phenominal rate and everything is green. It was strange to see some red momiji (maple) scattered around the forest. I didn't expect to see them change color until the Fall.

If you are around Saga though, try and hit the natural areas including the beach, the waterfalls, and the jinjas. They really are spectacular. It seems strange to me that I had such a hard time finding things to do and places to see the Friday before I headed out to the Fatherland (that's where my Grandfather's family is from). If all else fails, you can go watch movies at the Aeon Cinemas.

Snake Season

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In the past four days, I have already seen 3 snakes. One I spotted on the road, smashed (most likely when it was sunning itself) and attracting flies. I saw two yesterday in Saga-ken. The first one I saw when I was visiting Kannon no taki (Kannon waterfall) in Nanayama-mura (Seven mountain village). I jumped over a rock, and it quickly slithered away under some dead branches. Not feeling quite Irwin enough, I decided not to reach in the tangled foliage and to let it be. Instead, I checked out the awesome waterfalls. If you are passing through Saga-ken, this place is worth a visit.

fullsnake.jpg

Anyhow, Kuniko spotted this snake (at Kashibaru Shikken, or Saga Marshlands, North of the Nagasaki Expressway on a small road that shortcuts the 323 toward Nanayama. if you can make it here around August, you should be able to see a beautiful flower called the Sagisou that looks like a bird in flight. this is a prime wetland habitat, a rare find in Japan and the biodiversity is much more apparent and colorful than the vernal pools of Santa Barbara), that remained absolutely still, well camoflauged among the dried foliage. I was able to get really close to it, and finally learned how to use the macros function on my digicam (thanks for the prodding, Justin):

snakemid.jpg

Kuniko thought it was dead, and so I was obligated to show her otherwise. I grabbed its tail, and it whipped its body two feet away from me in a split second. After I grabbed it again, it started rattling the dried leaves with the tip of its tail in the manner of a rattle snake, and then bolted into a well concealed rathole. I don't think this snake was poisonous, but can't say for sure since I was not bitten.

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According to the Japanese snake guide, this appears to be a Japanese four-lined snake, or Shima-hebi. I don't know why I have this compulsion to play with the snakes that I encounter. All that I can say is that it's fun (until I get bitten/envenomated I suppose).

My Dog, Shisar

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shisar.jpg

These dogs are Shisar, the guardians of the Ryukyu (Okinawan) Islands. You see them all over the place in Okinawa, on keychains, t-shirts, and anything else that is sold on the Kokusai-dori (the main tourist street in Naha).

Of all of the Shisar statues that I encountered, I especially like these. They remind me of our Pekingnese dogs, especially Jane. That was one cool dog.

I just watched Kill Bill vol. 1 two days ago for the first time, and spotted Shisar in two different scenes. When Black Mamba is purchasing tickets for Okinawa (one way) a pair resides on the back shelf, over the shoulder of the booking agent. The more obvious scene, of course, is when Hattori Hanzo's steel is unsheathed for the first time. That's Shisar, imprinted on that legendary blade.

On that note, I am looking forward to part 2. I think I may have to brave first night crowds tomorrow, because I don't want to wait to see it!

Okinawan Sign Language

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I usually find signs that I like when I travel to foreign places, especially if the populace has a less than perfect command of English. I'm sure that the locals were wondering why I was taking picures of the mundane icons that are filtered out of their focus. My choice of subjects to photograph most likely flagged me as a tourist, to the locals who were trying to get me to purchase their assorted omiyage. Okinawans are a true breed of hustlers, and it was painful watching my companions getting fleeced. But that's the topic of a separtate post.

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This picture is of a dental clinic in Okinawa. A couple of thoughts popped into my mind when I first saw this, such as:
"No way!", "Ouch!", "Has to be two different sets of teeth!", "I wonder if the same set of pictures accompanied by English appears in England?", and "That dentist must be a friggin' god/butcher!".

I have seen some pretty bad teeth in Japan, but many people are now wearing braces and taking better care of their teeth than before. This picture makes me cringe when I think of the pain that the patient had to endure. How many cc's of lidocaine was injected into that gaping maw?

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This next picture is the Japanese equivalent of the French Metro Bunny. On a side note, I feel responsible for contributing to the widescale spread of American tourists stealing those stickers. In 97, after returning home and showing a friend the mementos of my trip, he thought it was such a cool sticker that he did it, and everyone else who went to study abroad with Orange Coast College that year followed suit. It became a tradition, and soon there was a shortage of stickers on the metro (and a sharp increase of people getting their hands caught in the doors, I like to imagine). So this time, instead of stealing a physical copy, I captured one on my camera.

okinawandoctor.jpg

If I had a problem with my ears, nose, or throat, this is the doctor I would want to go to. For some reason, these images evoke a feeling of trust for this doctor, even though I have never met him.

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This last sign was taken in the domestic terminal of the Okinawa Airport. I understand the need for explicit directions, but this goes a bit further than necessary. I mean, did someone try to argue "but officer, I didn't know that it was wrong to stash my guns and drugs on top of my bag filled with decomposing decapitated heads that I was using to feed my pet weasels. Oh and don't worry, the pipe bombs aren't really dangerous because I didn't insert the fuses yet. You know, someone should really put up a sign to make it clear just what exactly IS acceptable to keep in these lockers! They didn't seem to mind up in Kansai."?

AFK

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I will be gone until Tuesday to Okinawa, another trip with the Ubuyama Fire Brigade (only 12,000 yen!!!). Therefore I will be out of reach of computers and technology, and will be drinking like a fish and diving instead. If you need to contact me call me on my cel.

Adam

Update

I finally got back this morning in time for work, after four full days of travel and adventure. It went something like this: on Saturday I got my larynx bruised in Jiu-Jitsu fighting Luke and then I taught some English in the city and rushed back to do essential laundry (read: I was completely out of clean underwear). The next day, I left with the firemen, and started drinking from 10 in the morning and spent the rest of the night in Okinawa buying omiyage and drinking some more at a snack bar. On Sunday, we took a boat out to a beautiful set of small islands and took 1 dive and multiple snorkeling excursions. This, of course, was followed by more snack bars and much more drinking. Yesterday we visited the castle in Okinawa and a war museum. Right before our return flight boarded, Joe gave me a call and asked if I wanted to meet him in Fukuoka to see the String Cheese Incident. So I decided to ignore my second day hangover, and we had a blast. Today I am tired from playing too hard, and the weekend is almost upon us again. I must have done something right in my past life or something, because lately everything seems too good to be true.

Heavy Books

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About 7 years ago, my brother sent me a copy of Snow Crash, and ever since then I have been a huge fan of Neal Stephenson. In my first year at UCSB I hunted down a copy of The Big U, before it was reprinted and when it was being sold for ridiculous amounts of money at auctions. In the Beginning was the Command Line inspired me to learn more about Linux and even to go as far as installing a separate hard drive dedicated to Linux on my computer for a short time.

I have finished all of his books relatively quickly, except for Cryptonomicon (which took me a month) and Quicksilver. I have been reading this book for the past six months, and I still can't read more than 10 pages at a stretch. Reading this book is at least as laborious as reading Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad (not to be confused with Army of Darkness, by Sam Raimi). I have read my way more than half way through it, but making progress requires the discipline and patience of a highly motivated scholar. Reading this book makes my brain hurt from trying to process and absorb so much information.

And now I just read that Stephenson has already released another book in the Baroque Cycle series (so quickly after the long awaited release of Quicksilver) called The Confusion. I want this book, but Quicksilver has humbled me. Many other books have been devoured effortlessly in the same time period, but it still remains by my bed unfinished.

What really amazes me is the versatility of Stephenson as an author. He (along with Gibson) defined cyberpunk with Snow Crash and The Diamond Age. I enjoyed these books so much that I have read them several times and wouldn't mind reading them again in the future. The Cobweb and Interface were interesting books that Stephenson and his uncle (J. Fredrick George) penned under the pseudonym Stephen Bury (is the last name a reference to the bury/disinter commands that he writes of in Cryptonomicon?). One deals with bioterrorism and the other with politics and medicine (this one reminded me of a book that was written by Harry Harrison and Bruce Sterling, but I forget what the title was). I also really enjoyed reading Zodiac (check out this page: Yamamoto and the Secret Admirers, heh!), his "Eco-thriller" novel, as a break from reading about the dangers of PCBs and Dioxin in my Environmental Studies coursework.

The cool thing about reading Stephenson's works is that he likes to write about things that he hasn't written about before. You can tell that he does his homework and knows what he's talking about. After reading his books and articles in Wired, you can tell why the man does not want to be bothered by people he doesn't know- he's busy working on writing something. Let the man have his privacy! It feels reassuring to know that he is putting down words on paper instead of giving away his time and attention to random people.

I wonder how long it will be until one of his novels is made into a movie. I kind of hope that one never is. No, I don't think Peter Jackson would be the director to do it justice and NO, Edward Norton would not be a good candidate for Hiro Protagonist. I think that the best adaptation would be an Anime movie directed by either Otomo Katsuhiro (Akira) or Oshii Mamoru (Ghost in the Shell/Kokaku Kidotai).

Just in case you want to read his articles in Wired:
In the Kingdom Of Mao Bell
Spew
Mother Earth Mother Board

Colors Of Spring

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I love all of the seasons in Japan. Summer is great because Ubuyama is up in the mountains, and so we escape the oppressive heat that brings gallons of sweat trickling down the faces of those who live in the city. Summer also means going to the beach, and trying to avoid the jellyfish (kujira).

Fall is great because the heat and the humidity gradually decrease into the most comfortable zone of the whole year. The Cosmos flowers come into full bloom at the Higothai Koen and Kuju Hana Koen, and young couples flock to all of the makeout points around Aso. Also, areas that are densely packed with deciduous plants turn amazing colors (my favorite area during this time is Kikuchi Gorge). Towards the end of Fall it starts to get cold, and so the kotatsu table is dusted off and perpetually switched on.

Winter is very cold, but it means that I can go snowboarding again, and practice driving in the snow. During these cold months I cook things that are hot and warm the body from the inside out. This past winter I was able to tweak my nabe to new heigths of deliciousness, with new layers of flavor.

Spring means Hanami, and also means that I can return to wearing shorts and short sleeved shirts. This is my favorite time of year, because life returns to Aso. The insects pupate, hatch, and otherwise appear again, and so I pull out the flyswatter and keep the pesticide ready to put the hurt on any centipede unlucky enough to find its way into my home. The days last longer, and everyone is in a good mood and ready to enjoy the good weather.

The three flowers that mean spring to me in Kyushu would have to be sakura (cherry blossoms), daffodils, and nanohana (rapeseed flower). Unfortunately, I forgot to take pictures of nanohana, so you will just have to take my word for it- they are beautiful. The fields of nanohana are reminiscent of the fields of mustard back home, but the stalks are thicker and more of a luscious green, and the flowers are larger and make the yellow of the mustard look muted in comparison.

I don't consider myself a "plant person", and any plant that I have ever cared for in my house has died or come very close to it. However, seeing these vibrant flowers and feeling the change of the seasons has made me develop an interest in flowers. You can't know what I'm talking about unless you have experienced it, and my descriptions will probably sound overly sentimental. Well, maybe pictures will convey what my clumsy verbage can not.

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The sakura is percieved by many as a metaphor for the fleeting nature of life (if you have taken any classes on Japanese culture or even watched television programs on the Discovery Channel, specifically ones on Ukiyo-E, then this should sound familiar), but I just like to look at them and to sit underneath the sakura as they flutter down around me. These blossoms last only about 2 weeks, and many times strong winds and rains can expedite the process. If you are planning on coming to Japan, I would recommend coming during Hanami season if possible. Trust me, it's worth it.

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Around the same time that the sakura come into full bloom (mankai), the nanohana and daffodils show off their yellow petals. I like this picture because the daffodils behind the barbed wire is symbolic. I don't know what exact symbol it is but trust me, there's some symbolism to be found here.

Driving in Japan is expensive, complicated, and sometimes frusturating. Following someone who is driving under the (already maddeningly slow) speed limit, cars pulling into the middle of fast moving lanes of traffic (almost) causing accidents, constant roadwork and the workers directing traffic with lightsabres, baffling driving etiquitte, traffic cameras, unmarked Highway Patrollers, and expensive toll roads are just some of the things that irritate me. However, I will gladly put up with these annoyances rather than spend my time trapped on the 405 or 101 during peak traffic hours.

I love driving here in Kumamoto, especially on the country roads. If you like watching WRC Championships (how is Ford doing better than the Citroen, Peugeot, Subaru, and Mitsubishi teams right now???) and playing Gran Turismo 3, then Kyushu is an excellent place to drive. If you are like me, then you need a car in order to commute to work and more importantly to keep your sanity. 103 yen/liter seems a small price to pay for the places that I have been able to explore thanks to my car.

If you are an American, and you spend more than one year in Japan, you must get a Japanese Driver's License in order to drive legally. Why do Canadians, Brits, and other gaijin get to simply have their licenses converted instead of taking a test like Americans? Well, I can understand that the British use the same traffic signs and drive on the wrong side of the road as well, but why Canadians (this has since been answered in the comments, although the answer did not make me feel any less self-righteous)? In any case, it doesn't look like the situation is going to change any time soon, so it's best to just get the license and forget the other bullshit.

Gaijin living in Kumamoto who have to get a license are very lucky. After researching online and talking with friends from different areas in Japan, it seems that most places feel obligated to fail a gaijin at least once despite performance, and to pass Japanese people on their third try even if they are unfit to drive. In Kumamoto, I know of two others who passed on their first try, which is pretty good. People who bitch about Kumamoto's driving test being "really hard" probably do so because they didn't do adequate research on the test, because they have trouble understanding what is expected of them when they are driving, and because they don't know how hard it is to pass the test in other areas of Japan.

However, taking the driving test anywhere in Japan is a pain in the ass because you need to do a lot of stuff before you even go to the center. You need to (aquire and) bring:

1. Your Passport
2. Your Gaijin card
3. Your Inkan
4. Some loot for taking the test, and some more loot for processing after you (hopefully) pass the test..
5. Your license from home along with
6. A translation of your licence from JAF
7. And if nowhere on your liscese says that you have been driving for over a year, you will need a form from the DMV that proves that you have and most likely another translation of this form by JAF.
8. 2 passport photos

In addition, I would also bring along any distractions such as friends, toys, books, homework, etc... You will have a lot of time to kill.

When you are scheduling an appointment, remember to be polite and try to speak in Japanese. If you can't speak Japanese, see if a friend can help you out, or ask for someone who speaks English. When I scheduled my test and went to the Center, there was a very helpful lady named Mrs. Matsumoto. She speaks English well, but appreciates it if you at least try and speak Japanese. Now that I think about it, at least trying to speak in someone else's language before resorting to English almost always brings a friendlier response from the locals along with the willingness to help someone out. Is this manipulating the ethnocentricity of others, or shedding your own? I think it's a little of both, but the bottom line is that it works.

The Written Test
I did too much preparation for this test. I bought a copy of Rules Of The Road from JAF, for 1,000 yen, and read it to prepare. I don't regret doing it because now I better understand the markings on the road and what some of the obscure signs mean.

There are 10 questions on this test and each is accompanied by a picture. If you miss a question on this test, then you should probably be to wearing a helmet at all times, regardless of the situation. It's that easy. For example, one question asks something like this:

"If a police officer is standing in the middle of an intersection in front of your car with his arms spread out horizontally you should:
a. pay attention to the signal only
b. drive past the police officer
c. wait until the police officer signals for you to proceed
d. drive over the police officer

Easy stuff. I'm going to recommend reading Rules Of The Road, or at least familiarizing yourself with the signs and markings, as it makes things a lot clearer.

The written test given in the morning along with an eye exam (if you fail this, you should not be driving), and the driving test is administered after lunch. There is a restaraunt downstairs, but the food is nothing special. During the lunch break period, you are allowed to walk the course. I walked it several times until I could recall where to go and what to do with no problem. Walking the course will help you to visualize what you need to do and where you need to do it.

The Driving Test
The driving test is a pain in the ass. There are no English speaking proctors that I know of, and if you get the same guy as I had he will not speak slowly or repeat anything. Just bank on being prepared and remember basic Japanese directions such as "turn", "right", "left", "go straight", etc... However, if you do everything below that I recommend, you will have a pretty good chance of passing on your first try.

Some Basic Tips
*Always drive on the left hand side of your lane, near the margin of the emergency lane or the curb. If you drive near the center meridian, you will lose points, unless you are making a right turn.
*Drive slowly at all times. If the proctor wants you to go faster he will tell you. If he tells you to slow down, you probably have lost some points.
*Always slow down at crosswalks and look all around for hazards.
*Check your mirrors frequently and make it obvious that you are checking your mirrors. Check your mirrors before you switch lanes, turn corners, or proceed after stopping at signals, stop signs, crosswalks, train crossings, etc...
*Check your blindspots as well whenever you check your mirrors.
*Signal 100 feet before you need to turn and again 20 feet before you turn
*Make sure you do not hit the curb. If you do hit the curb, put the car in reverse and carefully go back. You will not necessarily fail for running over a curb.
*Don't give up unless the proctor tells you explicitly that you failed and that you are to return to the docking station.

This is a diagram of the driving course at the Kumamoto Driving Center:
kumamotodrivingcenter.jpg

The red line indicates the course, and the numbers indicate specific tips for those specific waypoints. I took course 1, and so that is the one which I will be providing tips for. The course starts from the docking station on the bottom and runs clockwise, ending at the same birth in the docking station.

Advice Specific To Course Number One 1. Before you get in your car walk around it and inspect your vehicle. Look under the car (ostensibly to check if there is a young child or some other hazard lurking underneath). Also, it doesn't hurt to look both ways checkihg for traffic before stepping into the street and opening your door.Once inside your car do the following even if you don't need to: A. Buckle your seatbelt. B. Adjust your seat position C. Adjust your mirrors. D. Ask the proctor if you can turn on the ignition E. Make sure the car is in Park and fire it up. F. Make sure that there are no distractions (like the air conditioner on high, etc.) and that none of the malfunction lights are on. G. Put the car into gear, take off the parking break, and signal your departure.

2. Immediately get into the lane, remembering to stay close to the left hand side. Drive slowly and make a point of checking your mirrors and blindspots and look for any pedestrians that may be about to cross (it feels silly looking out for imaginary people, but this is better than having to come spend another full day so you can do it again).

3. Once you round this corner you will be about 100 feet away from your turn. Signal right, check your mirrors and blindspots, and then pull close to the center meridian to make your turn.

4.Signal again when you get 20 feet away and check your mirrors and blindspots again, and turn. I will now assume that you know to signal, check your blindspots, and check your mirrors before you make all of your turns.

5. This is the railroad crossing. Slowly approach it, and stop at the stop line. If you are driving manual, pop the emergency break. Roll down your window to listen for the train, look both ways, check your blindspots, and then slowly proceed. Do not roll your car back down the hill or you will lose points.

6. When approaching this intersection proceed slowly. There are concrete walls on these corners obstructing your view. Come to a complete stop at the intersection, check your mirrors and blindspots, and pull forward slowly to check for traffic. When you determine it is safe, proceed forward.

7.When approaching this intersection proceed slowly. There are concrete walls on these corners obstructing your view. Come to a complete stop at the intersection, check your mirrors and blindspots, and pull forward slowly to check for traffic. When you determine it is safe,pull out slowly and turn left. Signal right away because you are approaching your next turn.

8. Do your turning checks and turn left. Immediately signal for your next right hand turn.

9. This is the part that requires finesse. This road is really small, and the right angle turns will test your driving ability. Remember to drive slowly. As you approach the right turn, stay to the left, and wait until the last moment to cut right (but not too long!). This will ensure that your back tire clears the curb. Immediately get over to the right hand side, so that you can pull the same maneuver for the left turn. After the left turn, stay to the right again, and slowly approach the intersection. Do you turn checks, and drive out close to the center meridian before turning to avoid the last tricky corner.

10. This is an intersection with a traffic signal. Drive slowly and check your mirrors, blindspots, and look for any pedestrians. If the light turns yellow before you reach the crosswalk, you should probably stop, or hit the gas so that you make it through! If you choose to do the latter, let me know how it turns out.

11. The small curvy street is cake compared to #9. Once you turn right at the intersection there is a broken down car on the left side of the road. Check your mirrors and blindspots, signal right, drive around the car and immediately signal left as you check your mirror and blindspot (to the left) and cut over once it's safe. Do this slowly.

12. Here is a construction site. Treat it the same way as the broken down car in #11.

13. Turn into the causeway quickly, and remember to signal, etc. Head back for the same port from which you started.

14. Park within a foot of the left hand curb, put the car in park, engage the parking break, and shut down the ignition. And now its time for some more waiting!

After the test the proctor will tell you what you did wrong. In my case, I didn't drive to the left hand side of the lane enough, and he scolded me for being "abunai" (dangerous). After I showed the appropriate amount of (less than genuine) remorse, he told me that I passed. If you fail, you can go home after you schedule your next appointment. If you pass there will be an hour or two more until you are done.

The next step is taking a photo, forking over some more cash to make the license (I think I paid about 4-5,000 yen in all). For the amount of effort that you put into obtaining a liscense, it is really dissapointing. It's a piece of posterboard laminated on one side, and doesn't even have any holograms! But at least it brings peace of mind, knowing that you don't have to depend solely on being a foreigner to bail you out should you find yourself in a driving related incident involving the cops.

A little advice for those of you who are late getting your liscense converted
If you do not have a valid license (meaning that your International Drivers License has expired, or you don't have one), DO NOT drive to the driving center. If you fail, which you may, they might watch to see how you leave. Have someone drop you off, walk, take the bus, or do something else to get there and back. If not, you risk embarrasing yourself, your employer, and you might even get into serious trouble with the police.

Props
When I was researching how to pass the test, I came upon a very useful site that provided good tips on how to pass the driving test in Japan at globalcompassion.com. It was very helpful to me, and as a form of payback I decided to write an entry similar to theirs, but tailored to Kumamoto. Their site is worth a look to supplement the information on this entry.

Many people contributed to this puddle of knowledge, and so I thank those of you who helped me out with this (Matt, Shige, Tsubasa, Mark, etc...). If this information helps you to pass the test, leave a message and let me know- I'd like to know about it. BTW, if you can think of anything that I have left out, let me know and I will add it to this entry. Good luck.

One last thing...
This entry deals with converting a foreign drivers license to a Japanese license only. If you don't have a foreign drivers license, then I'm sorry to inform you that your test is likely harder and more expensive. In this case, your best bet is to talk to Mrs. Matsumoto.


Comment Q and A:
hey Adam

just a visitor, passing by, but wanted to say thanks for the april 13 2004 post on driving test tips in kumamoto japan.

i do have one small question, in regard to that post... so do you signal twice? i don't get it. you say "signal 100 feet before you need to turn and again 20 feet before you turn"... so what youre saying is... signal - for a second - 100 feet before you need to turn - then turn it off - and again 20 feet before you turn?

very interesting, its new to me, the whole signalling twice thing, if in fact thats what youre suggesting.

two more questions came to mind. in the kumamoto driving test, was parallel parking required? ive never entirely mastered that. and about the course, so they give you the map before the test, but its not expected to be memorized is it? im just a bit concerned about how much of the proctor's commands ill understand... could you post a brief list of useful proctor-driving-commands to listen for.

thanks.

james


James,
I'm glad you found that post useful. As for your questions:

1. Yes, you signal 2 times, once 100 feet before you turn and during your turn (check how I wrote it again, because I don't remember the test so well right now). It's something that you won't do in real life, but they insist on you doing on the course.

2. Parallel parking- there was none when I took it. The closest thing to parallel parking was pulling the car up along the parking station where you start and finish the course. Take it slow, and it's a piece of cake.

3. It is best to remember the course, which is easy if you look at the map and walk through it a few times with map in hand. As for commands, they're pretty easy and go something like:
Ikimasu- go
yukkuri- slow
Migi o magatte- turn right
Hidari o magatte- turn left
Koko ni tomete- stop here

That's about the extent of what I remember. Another piece of advice- take along a dictionary and something to write with and on just in case.

10 Kaigi Haiku

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Last week I was insanely busy so I had no time to post anything, and now that I am free my internet connection at home is temporarily offline. As soon as I get my problems sorted out, I will resume posting regularly.

Today we had a long meeting with members from Hokubu Shogakko, Yamaga Shogakko, and Ubuyama Chugakko in attendance. This year, the 6th graders will be attending interschool lessons once a week for the whole day in the chugakko, as a new test program. Eventually, the plan is to unite all three schools in a new 1st though 8th grade facility, but the village is still deciding whether or not it is an economic viability.

The new program sounds like a progressive, daring idea on one hand (especially for classes other than English, which will have one or two teachers leading the class), and a waste of resources on the other. I will now be teaching about 30 kids with the help of 4 other teachers. Will having 5 teachers in an English class, with a 1 teacher/6 student ratio, help the students to develop an interest in English and foreign subject matter? Since only 2 of us use English in the classroom while the rest usually prefer to remain in a trance for the duration, I will try and spread around the responsibility of teaching and providing input and feedback to get everyone involved instead of contemplating Koan in their hiding places in the back of the room.

The meeting lasted 2 hours and I zoned out for most of it. The only thing that saved me was creating lesson plans, scratching out kanji, and practicing haiku. Needless to say, I created 2 good lesson plans to start off with and 10 haiku. Maybe the haiku will help to sketch the meeting as I experienced it.

An open forum Only two people talking Of fifteen of us

Last year's lesson plan
Drafted by a green teacher
Needs to be revised

Five teachers, one class
is this a good idea?
something tells me no

Asses getting sore
The creak of old folding chairs
Objection sustained!

Kocho looks at me
Our Ill Communication
The others stare down

Meiso, ima
tsumaranai meetingu
geijitsu tohii

Japanese mind fog
My brain is simmering down
And nothing is left

Mind crushing boredom
Caffeine not working for me
Must get out of here

"Blah blah ALT"
Spine unconsciously straightens
Relax, false alarm

Fallen sakura
Students fighting with blossoms
Seen though a window

It must have looked like I was paying attention and taking notes like everyone else. I was being productive, just not in the manner of anyone else in the room. If only they let me bring my computer to meetings I could play Mafia while they were talking about time allocation between subjects.

Japanese Fire Drill

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Today I woke up at 7:00, donned my blue firefighter uniform, stepped into my shiny black rainboots, and drilled until noon with all of the men of the Ubuyama Fire Brigade. As the token foreigner in the force, it is usually my job to hold my regiment's flag, and present it whenever the command "kiritsu!" is ordered, and retract it when "naode!" is yelled out, meaning that I push and pull the flag up and down quite a few times on these mornings. Today, they let me try simple drills with everyone else, as well as being flag monkey.

The orders are actually quite simple, as are the movements, however they are hard to learn at the same time when order after order is bellowed in quick succession. I observed and mimicked the others, but this was my first time doing these drills. After many mistakes, and asking the instructing officers from the elite Aso/Kuju Fire Department how to correctly perform the drills, it all came together pretty well. I felt humiliated for not knowing the slightest thing about marching drills, but not embarrassed.

Surprisingly, I was not the only one screwing up. You can probably blame it on a nice Saturday morning, and the fact that everyone was forced to give it up to drill over and over again, and many people were obviously hungover. The second in command could not figure out how to run and stop properly when moving from our regimental formation to the inspecting team, and so he was laughed at and drilled many more times than I was. Also, it was interesting to see that the Fire Department does not tolerate the use of strong Higoben (the oldschool Kumamoto accent). The regimental sub-leader summoned a strong "Iiyussha!" and was reprimanded several times after this for continuing to use this corruption of the word "Yosh(i)", meaning "A-OK".

What perplexes me about "Fire Brigade Practice" is that at no point is there any fire or fire drills. This time I didn't even get to watch the other firemen shoot the waterhose because today was devoted to marching and formation drills. I'm not sure what the average resident of Ubuyama feels, but personally I want the firefighters in my area to be trained professionals and wise old hands. That is, I want them to be specifically trained to deal with real life situations involving fire-based problems, and for performing other rescue operations such as but not limited to the use of the fire hose and water pump (remember, fire hydrants and cisterns are not cost effective or particularly useful in the deep country), various fire extinguishers, shovels, picks, rescue axes, fire (in case they need to make a fire line), fire retardants, ladders, ropes, climbing equipment, use of special suits and masks, educating the general public about fire avoidance and mitigation techniques, first aid and CPR, and being able to save cute little fluffy kittens and puppy dogs caught in all sorts of perilous situations. I don't particularly care if they march to the scene in a tight, professional formation in cadence, or if they can snap off a crisp salute. In fact, when that alarm bell rings, I want those guys to drop their instant ramen, quickly and carefully don their equipment, and haul ass over to the problem. I don't want them marching at double time, I want them to drive at three times the speed limit, obliterating any inanimate objects that dare to be in the path of the fire engine!

However, I am not complaining about the Fire Brigade. I am merely baffled and find myself asking many questions. Why don't they devote at least as much time to practice putting out fires as they do marching? Why do they want me on the squad just to hold the flag? Why do they want to award me with a Fire Cheif commemorative patch when I leave Ubuyama? Why are they going to take me to Okinawa for the second time in one year later this month? No, I am not complaining.

Wait, what? The Fire Brigade is paying for me to go to Okinawa again? That's right! On the last trip after hearing that diving was one of my hobbies, everyone decided to try it and they all immensely enjoyed themselves. And so this time, we're diving off of a boat close to one of Okinawa's smaller islands!

So what does a token gaijin learn when he is in the service of the Fire Brigade in the cho inaka? He learns how to march, he learns how to present the flag, but most of all, he learns about the best omiyage to buy from the other firemen on his trips to Okinawa.

April Foolishness

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Ah, UCSB: We partied at Del Playa, Sabado Tarde, Picasso, Anacapa, State Street, and too many other places to name. Long Island Iced Tea night, 5 gallons of hurricaine punch, a hundred jello shots, a fully stocked bar, runs to Trader Joes for cheap booze, riding Bills Bus and drinking from the Trolley on the way downtown, the 5 keg birthday bashes with the Sierra Nevada and Rolling Rock keg hidden in the back room. These were the telltale signs of epic nights and countless birthdays, of finishing your finals, of graduating, of any given weekend, or of a week where no one had any tests. Barbecues next to the beach in the rain, mud football (I wonder if we played with Jack Johnson, es posible, no?), and watching TV off of the scratched 5 inch screen and my VCR with no rewind. This was the time where quarters were more valuable than any other form of currency, when everything was shut down for the night in the dorms, when we bought 2 Wildbreads from Woodstocks instead of 1 large pizza to make those meager dollars and coins from under the couch cushions stretch. Ramen saved our asses on several occasions, and we learned to make chowmein and other variations on this versatile staple by frying the noodles. We staved off scurvy with lemon drops and lime and tequila shots. Adaptability was a way of life rather than an occasionally useful personality trait. Ah, "back in the day when I was young I'm not a kid anymore...".

Which brings me to the focus of this post: Having fun at the expense of our friends. There are many reasons why it is not a good idea to have any group of young men living together in close proximity for too long. The sink piles up with undone dishes providing a better growth medium for fungus and bacteria than an auger/blood medium, the trash becomes a giant game of Jenga, and the endless battle against Entropy is only fought when parents or prospective dates are brought home. Even the neat members of the group succumb to living as slobs, because it is just not fair that they should pick up after the other pigs in the house! The pigs are more than happy to let the pad degrade into a biohazardous dump because they resent being called pigs, are generally lazy, and find a sort of joy in watching the neat freaks suffer while trying to fight their Vietnam.

Eventually there comes a breaking point. Sometimes harsh words are exchanged and people storm out. Impromptu wrestling matches break out on the deeply stained, chunk-style (chunks being chips, pizza toppings, toe nails, and other various detritus), carpet that reeks of gallons of Red Dog beer. Conspiracies are formed and alliances shift around like dominos being washed (Domino Muthafucka!). And agression slowly builds, ever mounting higher and higher. Reasons? We don't need no stinkin' reasons! And so begins the cycle of vendetta.

The best plans are either the epic ones that take a lot of planning, or the flashes of inspiration that only hours of Warcraft/Starcraft/Counterstrike/Pirated Cable TV can bring. Enter my part-time job. One Christmas, I worked with my sister and her boyfriend doing a job with no general fitting description other than "miscellaneous". One of the charges of the job was packing gift baskets, and sending them off to people like Jerry Falwell and other people with horrifyingly bad taste in Chrismas presents. They buy this crap for aquaintances and people that you don't necessarily like but still have to give a token of recognition due to social pressures with money culled from the collection plates. Do they even try to justify their sacreligious spending of the Lord's money on frivolous baskets of decorated candy, or do they laugh frequently and heartily at all of the suckers? Anyhow, at the end of the season, we had two huge bags of styrafoam peanuts left over. I didn't know what I was going to do with these environmentally unfriendly curls of white death, but I knew that I needed them for something.

And then the perfect opportunity came: Chris' 21st birthday. Me and Brian painstakingly developed a plan to make sure that everything was in place. The door was locked during the party to keep out the roaming stranger kleptos and so I told Steve, who shared the room with Chris, that I needed something out of his room. Leaving him to tend the keg (the kleptos love to steal keg taps! we give them free beer, and they steal the hardware that allows everyone to get the beer out of the keg? go figure!) sneaked into their room with the foam and dumped it on the ground, covering up scattered cairns of textbooks, soiled laundry, nuggets of mystery, and computer parts. Next, we set up the box fan, creating a feathery blizzard. It was Art in motion, truly satisfying work.

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Rebecca took pictures of our triumph, and we turned off the lights, locked the door, and got back to the festivities. Steve walked into his room and discovered the chaos soon afterwards. He was really pissed off but he also found humor in the situation, punching us with a big smile on his face. Chris, who arrived right after Steve, did not share the same sentiments. He was in a bad mood, and we didn't understand why. This was obviously some well deserved birthday hazing, and all in good fun, so we were relentless in making fun of him. This just added to his anger, instead of grudging laughter as we had expected.

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No smile on this face. The girls were the first ones to spot that something was wrong, and the rest of us went on partying. However, we were forced by the girls to appologize and it was not accepted. This sucked: we just wanted to shock and annoy Chris and Steve, not to drive Chris into a rage on the night of his birthday. There was nothing to do but to give the man his space. We couldn't get into our rooms because Steve had locked our door which didn't have a key (payback of roughly the same magnitude as our joke), but this would not be a problem. We saw Chris come into the kitchen, grab the 5 gallon bottle of water, and then heard a resounding "BOOM!" as the hollow framed door buckled. The bastard had kicked down our door like Cochese, and was pouring water all over our matresses. He tossed the spent bottle to the floor, saying "O.K., now I forgive you.". Now although this was the equivalent of getting back at at someone by punching them in the face for talking smack, there was nothing to do but laugh in this situation. It was funny after all, it really was.

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That night, I slept on the soggy slab of plywood that had held my bed off the floor. I slept pretty well, but woke up sore with a hangover, still laughing from the previous night's events.

For the remainder of our time in college, Chris remained bitter about the incident. It was "not funny". I think that he had always secretly thought that the incident was funny, but just didn't want to admit it out of pride. Then again, maybe not.

All of shit that we gave one another was given out of the desire to humiliate and to entertain, but also to share our own brand of love. Only good friends can be so cruel to eachother, and still be good friends after so long. These are among my fondest memories of college.

Craptacular!

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This weekend was just what I needed. I took a roadtrip down to Miyazaki City for the Cheesy Disco Party with Mark and Joe Fingerhut to meet up with the usual suspects. To say that things got out of control would be an understatement, and there are many good stories from Saturday night, but I will limit myself to posting an email I got from Joe Debiec:

Dude, shit is natural.
Mine is toxic. God speed.
I am nasty. Please forgive
it was funny at the time,
but now I feel like crap...
no pun intended.

I will let you ponder the meaning of this email, and give you some pictures from Yabe in Southeast Kumamoto to look at while you're thinking.
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This is Tsujyun bridge, famous for shooting sustained arches of water out of both sides, just above the apex of the stone arch. On the day we went, they had turned the water off...

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They're pretty good at making things out of wood. I'm good at burning things, but unfortunately I didn't have any matches.

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Musashi has two wooden swords, like one that you start out with in the very beginning of The Legend of Zelda.

Hey, watch where you point that thing!
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This guy has a serious tanuki boner.

OK, back to the story. Admittance to the disco party was 2,500 yen, and it included unlimited drinks for the night, "a bargain!" I thought. We knew it was going to be "one of those nights" right away when we ordered our first round of screwdrivers. The girl behind the bar (calling her a bartender would be streching the truth a little too much) took out some plastic bottle vodka, mixed in some generic orange flavor beverage syrup, and added soda water. It tasted like orange flavored pediatric flourinated mouthwash with carbonation. Seeing as the only liquor available came in large plastic jugs (as do Popov, Lucky Charcoal Filter Vodka, and other forms of rubbing alcohol), I stuck with shochu and tea for the night and was content.

The night got pretty wild, and eventually we made it back by 5 in the morning. At 11:05 A.M., Joe D calls me up apologizing profusely, and I thought that it was just a joke. I was mistaken. After a nice breakfast and checking out "Ed from Miyazaki's" nice collection of vinyl, his Technics, and GTA Vice City, we finally got to my car. Sitting on top is a paper bag from McDonalds. Just as he said, he had done a bad job of wiping, and there were finger-smudged bits of feces on the edge of the bag. Inside was a full loaf, and spent napkins. This pile had been allowed to bake in the sun all day, and was so toxic that it left a small stain on the roof of my car. I didn't "Just drive off really fast..." so that "...it will fall off the back." as he suggested. I was shocked to hear Joe tell me that he had left a bag of his own shit on my car, but I wasn't really surprised. Ah, what a good weekend, even if I did have to deal some shit. The only thing is that I don't really know how to one-up him. I could always wipe some crap on his face when he is sleeping, like that guy does on CKY2K, but maybe I will just pee on him... My friends are a bunch of disgusting degenerates, heh.

Life In Transit

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This picture is how I have been feeling for the past two weeks. The weather has been improving and the buds on the sakura trees are about to bust open, but I am in a cloudy mood. There are beams of light piercing through the ominous layers, but they are in the background and overwhelmed at the moment. This week I have gone to too many graduations in Ubuyama. Monday was Ubuyama Chugakko, Wednesday was Yamaga Shogakko, and today was Ubuyama Hoikuen and Nambu Hoikuen.

To me Japanese graduations are about three things: tears, bows, and boring speeches (there are good speeches too, but these usually fall under the "tears" category). I stopped counting how many times I bowed, but 100 for this week seems like a good guess. Sometimes when I'm not thinking I look at the person's face to whom I am bowing, a vestigal habit from taking Tae Kwon Do when I was 5 (my Sensei explained that one should NEVER take their eyes off of their opponent at ANY time. now that man was truly a badass!) and sometimes I do the proper deep immersion eyes-cast-to-the-toes bow. I wish that they would just adopt the handshake to replace bowing at these events. It just seems silly to have each person giving a speech bow a minimum of 6 times, especially when others must also bow unless, of course, the flag is being bowed down to.It has been an ordeal, having to listen to the same speeches over and over by the same old men, and sit quietly watching and empathizing with the children who are trying their best not to fidget. I have used much of this time to meditate, leaving my body and mind on auto-bow mode.

As for the crying, I am just not used to seeing so many people- students, teachers, parents, and spectators both male and female- cry with such intensity and with no shame at expressing these feelings. I think its cool how they are so open to everyone on this special occasion, but I can't relate. Sure, graduations are sad but I was always overjoyed to be freed of the classes and homework with prospects of a summer spent at the beach in the immediate future. I have to admit, I got a little misty and had a couple of lumps in my throat as I heard the little girls trying to give speaches on how greatful they were to the teachers who they were leaving behind. I suppose this was a very gratifying experience for everyone, in a sad sort of way.

Almost all of my favorite teachers are leaving from Ubuyama in one fell swoop. One is going on pregnancy leave, one is moving to Saga-ken, and the rest have been transferred to different schools. I feel like I am being forced to repeat my senior year of high school, as all of my friends are going off to different colleges, but I am happy for the ones that didn't get shafted by the switch and sorry for the ones who did.

Also, this week is the last time that I got to chill at the separate hoikuens, with my separate groups of children and teachers. No lessons, just pure 100% playtime with the little ones, and long chats with the nursery school teachers (these teachers are not subject to switching. this is the most stable type of teaching job in Japan if one wants to work in the same place for a long period of time). No one seems especially happy about being joined into one hoikuen for the village, but it makes financial sense for them. Ubuyama hoikuen is to become more of a daycare service- some of the kids are going to be spending 6 out of 7 days there, for up to 12 hours a day! If you have kids, or have taught pre-school and kintergarten, then you know why this will 1. be rough on the teachers, and 2. not be the best situation for the children. But what do I, the token gaijin, know about anything? So I just watch and deal with it.

Some of my favorite children will be moving as well, but as much as I will miss them I am glad because they seem excited about moving (I think I would too). In a way, this is good because saying goodbye in July will be much easier. I'm pleased with my decision to not stay for a 3rd year in this village, as much as I love the children here. Its time to go, and this point continues to be driven home.

But things are looking better already. Perhaps some cool, talented teachers will replace my friends (but I can't imagine that they can fully measure up to these great teachers. it just doesn't seem possible right now). I know that I am going to have a blast in my classes in April, and have some new ideas that I want to try to get the students motivated. For now, its time to pack for a weekend in sunny Miyazaki. Finally I get to enjoy this great weather at the beach and forget about this week.

Bento

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Calling a bento a "lunch box" doesn't do it justice. It is a lunch box in the sense that sometimes it comes in the shape of a box (and sometimes not), it often has the picture of a cultural icon on the lid (My Little Pony, Ultra-man, He-Man, Hamutaro, and Mr. T. come immediately to mind), and it contains a lunch inside. However, lunch boxes are typically comparatively massive, rectangular in shape, and have a hinged door that clasps tightly shut by two levered latches, located next to the handle of the lunch box. Examples of typical contents found in a lunch boxes include a thermos (usually full of milk or soup), a sandwich, some vegetable sticks, a bag of chips or cookies, a box of juice, and a stick of string cheese. It is also interesting to note that most people stop using lunch boxes after leaving elementary school and switch to the brown paper bag as the vessel of choice for their midday meals. I fondly remember my lunch box, but its contents were always predictable and partly pre-packaged. Opening a bento is more of a mini-adventure.

If you are lucky there may be treasures under the lid of the bento bako, just waiting for you to uncover them at lunch time. Geisha Asobi has some interesting glimpses Japanese culture, including a link to some few highly stylized bento designs. As for a bento that emphasizes equality in form and function, I like these bento made by Mizuko Ito, who examines the question "Are bento an artistic form of motherly love, or are they just another oppresive tool used to shape Japanese society?". Anyhow, you may notice that these bento pictures have been snapped from a cellular phone camera (she also studies the effects that cellphones have on society- pretty interesting stuff), like the ones on Justin's moblog, or the smaller pictures that I was posting up until the demise of the camera on my D251.

This is diverging from the bento theme of this post but still related, in the sense that if your bento contained some undercooked meat or fish you might grow a 28 foot-long friend in your intestines.

Out Of The Loop

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The Japanese educational system is so frusterating sometimes. It seems that the head honchos on one side and the grunts on the other are working with very different agendas, completely seperated while working on the very same projects. They call the shots based on inferences, deductions, hypothesis, research, and other forms of information processing yet keep themselves pretty well insulated from the body of the operation.

You would think that they (the kencho, the kyoikuinkai, and the other people who call the shots) would want to get to know what the grunts on the frontline think of the decisions, kind of like an engineer physically examining the physical incarnation of their sketches and talking to the test pilots who come to know the capabilities of their aircraft based on intimate knowledge as well as study of the designs. It may be the engineer who designs the plane, but it's really the asses of the pilots and planes that are on the line should anything go wrong. You would think that these people would know how valuable direct input from the teachers, who know their classes and the materials and their plans better than anyone else, really is because these same people were probably also teachers before they got appointed to their lofty positions. With great powers come great responsibility, you would think...

See, that's where you're wrong. They don't seem to care what you think. Independent thinking and any form of dissent is discouraged among the same peer groups and especially from those belonging to the lower castes, even if it may be painfully clear that a change would be greatly beneficial. The nerves may scream out in pain from being cut and rubbed in salt and lime juice, but the synapses are being jammed, the attention is directed elsewhere.

To be fair, sometimes they get things right. Sometimes they implement good, well thought out policies that work really well. Sometimes. But wouldn't it be better if they could do it faster, more efficiently, and more democratically? Keeping things the same may be orderly and produce consistent results, but how many of us would prefer a perfect McClone cheeseburger over a Fatburger (they taste a bit different at the different locations and depending on who is making them, especially when you order them with more toppings and condiments)?

The words above could be in used a myriad of contexts, by many people that you know, and probably by you too. I just wonder if any of the people who are in positions of greater power and responsibility used to feel this way, and if they still do. Have there been any significant changes recently in the infrastructure of the Japanese educational system, and will it eventually change for the better any time in the foreseeable future? I truly hope so, but I have my doubts.

Pain

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A unwilling visit to the Monterey branch of the Bubba Gump Shrimp franchise.

Memories Of Little Saigon

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Visiting Little Saigon, unlike other designated ethnic areas, gives me the feeling that I'm in a place that lives up to its namesake. Short of a trip to the real Saigon, it is as authentic an experience that you will ever get, smack in the middle of the O.C.. It's an island made up mostly of people with black hair and brown eyes and names like Nguyen, Pham, Trung and Minh (and some guy named Dr. Phouck) within the homogenous racial mix of Southern California. You know this place is legit Southeast Asia style, as 90% of the cars in Little Saigon have, at the very least, one obvious dent or scratch. If you're looking for cheap imported goods, look no further than the Asian Garden Mall, full of all sorts of strange smells, cheap knockoffs, and stuff you can't find anywhere else. When you walk in a Vietnamese supermarket, you can see black patches where the linoleum has peeled off. If you order a catfish from the tank, the butcher will grab one by the tail and smash its head into the concrete, wrapping its still quivering body (now that's a fresh piece of fish!) in a pink sheet of butcher paper. And it smells of Southeast Asia: lychee, rotting detritus, urine, etc...

But the main reason to go to L.S. is for the food, namely the Pho Restaraunts.
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For all of you wondering what type of sauce is in the green capped bottle in front of Justin, that is called Shiracha and is arguably as versatile a condiment as ketchup is. Now look at the bowl in the bottom of the frame. This is the infamous bowl of Pho (no. 10), the prime suspect for causing my bout of projectile vomiting and diarrhea on Christmas Eve. However, I like the pho so much that I plan on eating it again on my next visit. After all, whats a little projectile vomit and diarrhea now and again. A fair trade-off for eating great food, I say.

Pho is not a complicated dish, and that's one of the reasons why it tastes so good. Its a simple rice noodle soup with a light beef broth, some meat, and assorted vegetables and herbs. I have eaten pho in Japan, Santa Barbara, Seattle, and other random places, but the best pho I have eaten so far is in Little Saigon.

Pho should be eaten with an order of cha gio and a glass full Vietnamese style iced coffee.
chagiao.jpg If your cha gio arrive cold, with old vegetables and no fish sauce, you should be very worried. If they come still sputtering out steam with ample freshly washed vegetables and a bowl full of fish sauce, be prepared to cry (from burning your tongue AND from the sublime flavors that your olfactory system will eventually register after the pain fades away).

The egg rolls above are known as cha gio. The filling is usually seasoned pork and rice vermicelli. They taste great by themselves, but the taste awesome if you wrap them in a fresh leaf of lettuce, along with some Vietnamese pickled daikon and carrot slices, and dip them in the nuoc mam (badass stinky fish sauce- don't be scared!). Eat them right when they come out of the frier if possible, when they are still capable of causing third degree burns. Bite off a piece and use the lettuce to shield your tongue from the intense heat as you inhale and exhale rapidly in an attempt to cool down the morsel. Trust me on this. A Vietnamese meal would not be complete without a cup of Vietnamese coffee. The coffee comes dripping from a cheap metal aparatus, into a small mug holding a generous amount of condensed milk. By the time you are half-way finished with your meal, the coffee should be completely filtered and ready to pour into the ice-filled cup.. I love this coffee because it is as thick as a cappuccino, and creamy and sweet due to the condensed milk. Iced coffee is the only way to go, and the caffeine counter-balances the urge to siesta.

There are many other mysterious, often delicious foods to be eaten in Little Saigon. The sandwitches are cheap and kick major ass (picture a sub sandwitch with butter, pate, roasted pork, vietnamese pickled vegetables, jalapenos, and lettuce), the deserts look like they were taken from the set of Star Trek, and their take on French cuisine is truly refreshing.

So if you do end up coming to Orange County, don't wuss out and go to El Torito, Applebees, or P.F. Chang's after spending all of your time and money at Disneyland. Go to the beach instead and after that get your ass down to Little Saigon, experience an adrenaline rush from almost getting into an accident, and enjoy some truly interesting and delicious food!

As for pronouncing Vietnamese words, good luck. I just point at the pictures in the menu and ask for things politely in English. This may be unfounded, but I get the feeling that these dudes are more likely to spit in your food if they think that you are a prick. At least they're not sneaky about it, like the clowns over at El Torrito.

Jump Picture Start

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A jump in front of Kaimon-dake, Kagoshima. Props to Kaori Tanaka, the photographer.
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Taking good jump pictures requires a few things including but not limited to a steady hand, good timing, interesting locations, and a willing partner or group. The jumper must be willing to jump off of whatever will make the picture look its best. The photographer should be ready to place themselves in the location which provides the best angle to shoot from, framing a shot so that the captured environment will complement the jump. Both of these roles can be dangerous, and in the case of the photographer the danger may come from the jumper smashing into them. The photographer and jumper should change roles occasionally, depending on whose turn it is.

A few years back, I took part in a collaborative project with Justin, Sayaka, and Taro in taking various jump pictures. On our Kyushu roadtrip we stopped at various scenic areas and shot up countless rolls of film, a good portion of which involved us jumping. We jumped off of high places, took running jumps, flip jumps, jumped into things, onto things, etc... Some of the jumps were foolish to try and invited injury, but taking chances is how one takes part in greatness.

So now I think I will try and revive the project, maybe make it an interblog project with Justin and possibly Taro (if he should ever start writing again). Of course feel free to send in your own jump pics, and I will post any good ones that I see. Just don't cry to me if you hurt yourself or someone else in pursuit of a jump picture. That's just part of the price for such high-stakes photography.

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Hifuri Asobi

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Me playing with fire. Picture courtesy of Ben Colbridge.

This is the last picture that I will post, for now. I can not stress how much I love this particular festival. For those interested in participating, it takes place every year in mid March (at Aso Shrine, located in Japan, Kumamoto-ken, Aso-gun, Ichinomiya-machi). Though not as dangerous as some of the more famous matsuris, such as the one where a hundred people ride a huge log down a hill (people get crushed under the log) or the festivals in which massive floats are carried or pulled through busy streets lined with spectators (even more people get crushed to death by crashes and trampling) or drunken horse festivals where you can get kicked in the face (death by severe head wounds or other internal injuries), the fire swinging festival feels very dangerous in comparison.

Everyone is a pyro at heart, except for those with unfortunate phobias dealing with fire. We all love to play with fire. Fireworks, flammable liquids, matches, barbecues, campfires, blowtorches, the kitchen stove, the bunsen burner in Chem. We have all melted action figures and Barbie dolls, disposed of incriminating report cards, exterminated pesky insects, shot bottle rockets at dear friends, watched meat sizzle on the grill, and just stared into the flames in a hypnotized state. These are no less fun experiences than the fire festival, but a religious ceremony that invites anyone to take part in such a wild and seemingly dangerous activity makes the experience more profound. Hell, if there was fire swinging after Mass, I would probably go to church occasionally with my Catholic friends.

27 Views Of Jigoku

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Hifurishinji

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The hissing swoosh, the flaming orbit of a fiery body in motion. Yes, that sillhouetted object in the background, just under the flame, is someone's leg.
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The booming thunder of Taiko drums. Unorganized, erratic swinging of massive fireballs, participation available to all who dare enter the fiery grounds of hell. Orange flames gnawing free of their tethers of smouldering rope, smashing into people, to whom I am telling stories of this very same scenario from last year to, at this very moment. Smoke in the eyes, and stepping in piles of combusting combustibles. Braving all of this to take pictures. Me and my friends and many more strangers in a strange land. More to follow...

English Engrish

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I saw this and I pictured James Bond looking at the Man with the Golden Gun as he says "Bond, I'm gonna bust a cap in yo' ass, Cracka! Any last words?", with the Golden Barrel pointed steadily in the middle of Bond's head. Bond chews on some grape flavored Bubblicious, blows a huge bubble, pops it, and repeats. The Man, in an uncharacteristic display of emotion, shows his anger and disgust by hastily cocking the Golden Hammer. With a smile on his face, Bond spits the gum out into his thumb and forefinger, and sticks the purple wad into the glinting barrel. The man is so completely and utterly shocked that he merely stares while this is happening, with his jaw dropped in disbelief that the Golden Gun could be violated in such a casual and sacreligious manner.

As you can see, these words on a simple can of "gum" put a really bizarre picture into my head, and it its not even a Japanese product. Holt's is a British company. Ah, those crazy Brits! To us Americans, "Lorry" is a girl's name , a boot is something that a cowboy wears instead of a shoe, and "I'm dying to smoke a fag!" has an entirely different meaning. Also, for the record, a windshield is the window that shields the occupants of a vehicle from the wind. If it was a real windscreen (a screen, such as is used to keep insects from passing through an open window), it would allow the wind and rain and anything small enough to pass through the small holes to smack everyone in the face. While this screen would filter out most insects, the momentum of their impact would pulverize and scatter their dismembered body parts all over everyone.

So back to the picture at the top; what is this product from the U.K.?

The Answer.
Hint: it is not what James Bond uses to patch up the silencer on his Walther P.P.K. after he uses it to deflect a laser beam.

Sad News...

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It seems that 3 of my relatives of whom I have never heard of before, a Mr. Douglas Yoshida and family (of my country), have passed away in a car accident far off in Nigeria. I was contacted by a "barrister" (that's foreigner English for "lawyer", for all of us proper English-speaking Americans) who is most likely a partner of a certain Mr. Ahmed Saleh. This is clearly the work of fate, as I have recently been working on a genealogy project with the rest of my family in order to find out more about my roots.

Dear Yoshida,

I am Barrister FUNMI FOLORUNSO,a solicitor at law.I am the personal attorney to Mr Douglas Yoshida,national of your country, who used to work with a National Petroleum company (NPC)in Nigeria.Here in after shall be referred to as my client.On the 21st of April 2000,my lient, his wife and their only daughter were involved in a car accident along sagbama express road.

All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost there lives. Since then I have made several enquiries to your embassy here to locate any of my clients extended relatives,this has also proved unsuccessful.After these several unsuccessful attempts,I decided to track his last name over the Internet,to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you.

I have contacted you to assist in repartrating the fund valued at US$13 million Left behind by my client before it gets Confisicated or declared unserviceable by the Security Finance Firm where this huge amount were deposited. The said Security Finance company has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confisicated within the next fourteen official working days.

For the fact that I have been unsuccesfull in locating the relatives for over 3 years now, I seek the consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased,since you have the same last name with my client, so that the proceeds of this account can be paid to you. Therefore, on receipt of your positive response, we shall then discuss the sharing ratio and modalities for transfer.

I have all necessary information and legal documents needed to back you up for claim. All I require from you is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction through.I guarantee that this will be executed under legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.

Please get in touch with me through this email: [excelchambers8@yahoo.com]or through my direct telephone number 234-1-474-1584 as for more tails.

Best regards,

BARRISTER FUNMI FOLORUNSO
EXCEL CHAMBERS AND PARTNERS
BARRISTER FUNMI FOLORUNSO
DIRECT TEL: 234-1-474-1584

Hmmmm... Thats a lot of money. I feel so special to have been picked by Mr. Folorunso over my parents and kin.

On a serious note, the way that "Mr. Folorunso" (the official looking website is a nice touch, but a strong reminder that the internet is a dubious source of information and. Research that cites internet sources should always be double-checked at the very least to verify its validity.

This Nigerian scam is pretty low. Although fictional, I feel an inexplicable sense of loss for Mr. D. Yoshida and family, even though they died almost 4 years ago and also because I have never heard of them until today. I wonder if the D. Yoshida he speaks of is from the U.S. or Japan...

A Month Of Fire

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In Aso, the whole month of March is dedicated to celebrating fire in various ways. It is a traditional practice to light one's field, full of the dried out stalks and chaff left over from last year's harvest, on fire. This not only provides entertainment, but it also looks cool and serves to fertilize the earth.

Well, if you have never been to Aso, then you have never seen the tall, super-fast growing ocean of grass that ripples in the summer breeze. This grass, aside from bamboo, is the fastest growing grass that I know of. Once late Spring rolls around, the farmers will let their cows loose in the stuff, and they don't have to worry about feeding them after that point. In the Fall, the tractors will come out and harvest great wheels of dried grass, much like hay is harvested in other rural areas for fodder. Despite all of this consumption, much grass is left untouched.

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A typical hill in Ubuyama-mura, covered in lots of dry grass.

So now comes the fire part. In order to clear way for the new grass, massive areas of grassland are set ablaze every year. From a distance, you can see a great swath of bright orange flames consuming the dried grass, climbing up the mountain with surprising speed. Much ash has been falling from the smoky skies as of late.

A couple of weekends ago in Aso town, there was a famous fire festival where they burned huge kanji into the mountain at night time. I wasn't there because I went to Kuju instead, and I am glad. People who went told me that the cold sapped all of the fun out of the experience. However, the best festival is coming up: the fire swinging festival is tomorrow. Last year, I saw what appeared to be a man being immolated by flames unintentionally, as a fireball that had burned through the straw rope tether shot towards him as if by the hands of Ryu. The burning mass of straw exploded on his mid-section and swirled around him, but he was unhurt. So of course this year I will once again brave this crazy spectacle and try and take some good pictures of people swinging fire around without any regard for anyone else's safety. If you are ever in Kumamoto during mid-March, this festival is not to be missed at any cost!

White Day

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Today, and every other March 14th, is White Day. On White Day, Japanese guys traditionally give cookies to women who they like, or who hooked them up with chocolate on Valentines Day. That's right, over here Valentines Day is the day where the ladies make romantic plans and give presents and sweets to the guys.

Where did White Day come from? I have no idea whatsoever, but I do know that you can't go into a convenience store without seeing a huge display with cookies, chocolates, and assorted gifts for this peculiar holiday. I kinda like the idea of mutually exclusive holidays based on gender, because it encourages reciprocation. Let's face it, although girls do nice things for guys on V-day, the bulk of the expectations lie on the dude.

I was pleased to see that some momentum has been building behind setting up an American version of White Day. Its ironic that this time it is a Japanese idea that has been improved on by Americans instead of vice versa. The Japanese may build more reliable cars and electronics, but surely they would even approve of this.

Yet More News Of Spam

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The largest Spam musubi in world history will be rolled in Hawaii later this April. Apparently, the Spam Jam restaraunt has successfully branched out into an official chain. It's now only a matter of time before it arrives in the continental U.S., and it becomes another trendy "ethnic food". Now is probably a good time to buy stock in Hormel.

All of this recent talk and news of spam has made me decide to pop open the one can that I have in reserve next week to make kimchee and mayonaisse spam musubi. Ah, good food puts me in the best moods. I think that most people really like food, but I'm beginning to suspect that I like food more than most people do...


Other favorite highly processed meat-based products:

Farmer John's sausages (in both link and patty form)- It is mandatory to use the sausages to scrape up the yolk of a busted sunnyside up egg, picking up some of the fried egg whites on their way into your mouth. Tastes even better when you add the crunch of hot, buttered toast to the mouthful of goodness.

Bologna and bologna-like cold cuts except for head cheese or any other loaf in the "just plain nasty" category (like this for example)- fried with eggs and served on a steaming pile of rice (with gravy sounds awesome- yet to be attempted, but sure to be delicious).

Hot dogs- preferably grilled over a bonfire while listening to oldies and watching the sun set with family and friends in Huntington Beach. Necessary condiments include ketchup, mustard, sauerkraut, sweet relish, cheddar cheese, and scalding hot chili. And what the hell, a little sand adds to the sentimental flavor.

Costco hot dogs- this gets its own listing because Costco hotdogs (traditionally Hebrew National, but also some other kosher brand called something like Sinai hotdogs or Westbank wieners or something) come with a refillable cup- something that is really special to one who has been living in Japan for so long- and also because it was often the last course that we ate when we had college brunch of free samples on Saturday afternoons in college. Yes, one of the secrets of streching that all mighty buck when eating out was taking advantage of free condiments, particularly those which were unsupervised and offered inexhaustible supplies. Take note, young ones.

Braunschweiger- its not only delicious, but its also just plain fun to say! I think that the only way to eat this is on hot toast. This is one of the very few liver dishes that I enjoy eating. The only other liver that I like is horse liver- when served extremely fresh and cold, with some sesame oil and shoyu, it is one of the more surprisingly good types of sashimi that I have yet encountered.


BTW, you can look up all of the meat products that I have listed on this page, if you are interested in seeing what they are made of. I took a good, long look at how much fat and sodium all of them contain, and I can't really say that it had any effect on my appetite whatsoever. I will continue to eat beef despite BSE (although not American as of late), and I will continue to eat poultry products despite the avian flu situation (cooking it makes it safe, or so I am hoping). Making bad choices despite being informed. You can have all the knowledge in the world, but it won't make any difference unless you ACT upon it. Time for a big fat bologna sandwitch!

In The Bathroom Of Isla Vista

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It doesn't happen often but once in a great long while, I swear that I'm still living in good ol' Isla Vista. Not necessarily one place in particular (D.P., Picasso, or Sabado Tarde) but rather, a composite of all of the places together. Other experiences have taken me back as well. Like when a really drunk acquaintance did a cannonball onto the hood of a car, scaring a woman nearly to death in front of a busy street(the Shimatori) that had, until that point, been buzzing the lively conversations of the nightlife. Or almost getting into a fight with an old man that looked like Bilbo Baggins with each arm around a prostitute (he-the old white guy- said they-the two high school-aged 100% Japanese girls- were his daughters... we begged to differ and vocalized this), after he made derogatory remarks about Yanks while pushing his way through a group of 5 inebriated Americans.

But I seem to have a strange connection with shady bathrooms (not restrooms, keep in mind, but rooms which happen to have baths in them). When I moved in to my current residence, there was much wrong with the plumbing and the tile was stained with strange growth (kinda like the Picasso apartment with the Shiitake mushroom growing out of the shower) and rich with the smells of death and decay. Also, the tile was cracked in many places (the result of an earthquake a few years prior). Well, I cleaned the place up, bleaching the evil away, but my bathroom has given me no end of troubles. The bath is large enough to fit two full-sized Sumo wrestlers, the hot water runs out on really cold nights (boiling water to take a "shower" really, really sucks!), and I need to use a heater to keep from catching pneumonia after I get out.

Last month I heard a great crash, and walked in only to see this:
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I had to laugh. I knew that it probably happened because some trapped water that rested between the concrete and the tile froze and expanded, destroying the bond of the adhesive in the process. But that was no help at all, merely a boring footnote. It was one of THOSE moments. Its not that this was a big deal, as it was really easy to clean up, but it just brought back memories of bad luck (that in retrospect, was often the result of bad judgement). After shooting this picture, what else could I do but pop open a Sam Adams (a very rare beer in Kumamoto, or for that matter, everywhere in Kyushu except for the Costco in Fukuoka) lay down on the sofa, and watch reruns of the Simpsons which I had already seen at least 10 times before...

Wild Rice

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Ah, taking pictures of ridiculous vehicles in Japan (or fashion, or English usage, or... well, you get the point...) is like shooting fish in a barrel with a 12 gauge, however, I like these animobiles. I kind of wish that they had huge wings protruding from their backs.

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In Oita-ken, they have an African Safari amusement park, where you can sit behind caged panels in one of these busses watching bored lions sleeping, and various Pavlovian-trained African animals feeding from strategically placed troughs. You can also get your picture with a baby lion, which will surely contribute to the impossibility of it ever being considered to reintroduced into the wild due to desesitization. It may, however, have an opportunity to move in with Seigfreid and Roy.

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Those who incite their wrath will tremble under the collective gaze of the Animobiles.

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If there ever comes a time where I have to make a choice, I will choose the Rhinomobile to destroy all challengers in demolition derby.

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These animal-plants, sitting along the side of the Yamanami in Ubuyama, remind me of the work of Edward Scissorhands. They sit alone, with a small shack to the right, a pen full of mangy deer to the left, and the Aso mountain range in the distance. I have no idea if the person who maintains these sells them, or if they are just someone's privately owned topiary garden.

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I thought this (what do you call these things? I'll just use the word...) sculpture was pretty skillfully trimmed. I want to come back here on a night when the full moon is out and take more pictures.

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Though these deer are not the primest of specimens, at least they're not as dirty or mean as the deer in Nara. They are most definetely not afraid of people because just like in Nara, people buy bags of sembei (rice crackers, that are sold for 100 yen) to feed them.

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Dunno why, but visiting this crappy petting zoo made me want to eat venison. I think its because I know that the small pen that these deer are kept in has probably made their flesh nice and tender...

Jelly-Coated Meatloaf

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Heh, a restaraunt that specializes in Spam based dishes opened in the Phillipines last year and is doing some kick-ass business. I wonder how my fellow Japanese living in Kumamoto would react to Spam musubi... I think that I will sneak some thinly sliced slabs of Spam in to my next enkai (drinking party) and change them out with the basashi. I am willing to bet that small browned slices of Spam will taste pretty good when coupled with onions that are cut paper-thin, a leaf of shiso, and some thick shoyu.

Why is spam so reviled in the continental U.S. and so celebrated by Asians? I wonder what Europeans make of spam- do Norwegians celebrate spam like their Viking forefathers did? In any case, the reason why I don't eat spam on a regular basis isn't because I don't like it. I just think the price of spam is a bit too high, and I only like to eat a little spam at a time. One thing that really creeps me out about spam, though, is the jelly that helps the loaf to ooze out of the can- watching the loaf work its way out of the canal somehow brings to mind nature documentary footage of wild animals giving birth. After that, I cannot help but feeling a little bit like Kronos eating his young Titan children.

This Weekend's Drive Pictures

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"You live where? How many people live in your village? What do you do out there?": These are the three questions that people always seem to ask when they first meet me. The answers are:

1. Ubuyama
2. Under 2000 people and falling
3. Many things, but I really enjoy driving.

Here are a few pics that I shot over the weekend while driving. The views around here are spectacular and the variety of driving conditions and roads are as varied as you can get.

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This is a picture I shot on the Yamanami highway (also known as the 11) on my way down to Ichinomiya. This road has great views from the top of the caldera and snakes through the gentle rolling hills of Ubuyama, eventually taking you through Kokonoe, Kuju, Yufuin, and eventually Beppu.

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A full moon rises among clouds scattered in the twilight. This was taken in Ichinomiya from the beginning of the Yamanami (it starts from the 57, near Aso shrine). I was late meeting a friend, otherwise I would have stopped to take some pictures of the beautiful night sky.

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Ah, last night was one time where I was more than happy to drive well below the posted speed limit. I even turned the radar detector off for once. Why is it still snowing in March? I dunno, but it gave me a chance to use the chains that I bought at Autobacs (yes, Autobacs is a Japanese company). It was pitch-black when I started climbing the mountain road into Kuju and pulled off to the side, of the road. I had to work in a blizzard using the light on my cellphone to see what I was doing. I drove through the raging tempest on a road that was fully covered with snow, and didn't see one car for 45 minutes straight. The snow was so deep that mine were the only tracks visible on the road. The winds whipped the snow into dancing mini-hurricaines, and swishing around in snake-like movements. The snow seemed to move like a composite of tumbling sands and rising steam, riding the strong currents on the ground.

There's something really exhilarating about entrusting your safety to something which has time and time again pulled through for you whenever you needed it to. When all ends well, after you take that long relieved sigh, it was really worth it (but if all goes to hell, then your mood will probably turn sour and humiliation is likely to handed out in liberal portions). Last night, I strapped on my chains, and decided to meet up with everybody because had enough confidence in my car to see me through safely to the other side of the mountain. Driving was surreal. I can honestly say that I had a blast driving through those extreme conditions. On top of that, I had a blast playing drinking games inside a warm cabin on a cold and stormy night.

If it keeps on snowing, then I think I might take my snowboard up to Kuju pass next weekend! But I hope the weather gets warmer, because its hard to type when your fingers are stiff and numb.

Your New Favorite Character

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Dude, you know this shit is dope! Pooper has a one man show, and you couldn't look away even if you wanted to. I think that the word "poop" is not used enough in the right context. "Pooper scooper" just sounds lame, but when a little guy named "Pooper" is cheerfully flippin' the bird while getting a piggyback ride (from a bigger Pooper) it not only makes sense- it was Destiny.

On a side note, look at how baby Pooper has his head turned way over to the left, while he is extending his backhand way out to the right. If you try to do this, you will notice how hard it is to adequately present the middle finger clearly without straining. Clearly, the kid is talented.
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Look at how this picture is framed. Widescreen, just like a movie. Brings Resevoir Dogs to mind for some reason. Notice that although the Pooper who is about to be executed is keeping his cool, and the bead of sweat rolling down his "Simpson yellow" forehead is the only indication of his true mental state. Or maybe Poopers are always happy no matter what, and under their omnipresent state of happiness are other layers of emotion. Maybe its just a hot day. Even though one of them is about to execute the other they both look like they are having a good time, and isn't that what its really all about?

Pooper looks like Qoo, but Pooper is a bad muthafucka (thanks to C. B.'s Hasty Musings) and Qoo is merely the mascot of a tasty line of beverages in Japan. Other pictures include a WWF/Mad Max king of the ring where they are all Mortal Kombatting eachother, Pooper taking a poop, Pooperette letting out a noxious fart cloud, and many more with Pooper giving the finger. The act of giving the finger, much like the act of exacting revenge, is best done with a smile on one's face. It makes the experience that much more satisfying, and adds insult to injury.

Aeon Flux: The Movie!

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(Credit: http://zed.9hells.org)

About ten years ago Anime was not really mainstream, at least not to the degree that it is today. I mean, we had a bunch of good dubbed imports but American animation had nothing really to compete with Japanese Anime, in terms of excitement, raw energy, and coolness. Except for Aeon Flux, that is. Aeon Flux was kinda noir-ish, and kinda cyberpunk: a future dystopia with lots of action and a fast paced story. I remember that I had to stay up late past my bedtime to watch this series on Liquid TV, abut the consequenses of getting in trouble were well worth it. Now, it seems that the movie is finally going to happen! And its not gonna be starring Angelina Jolie, either (that would have been my prediction). If the movie successfully interprets the cartoon, then this is gonna be one badass flick.

Read more about whats going on here.

Yufuin Car Museum

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The Yufuin Car Museum is in bad shape. If you look closely at the mural, you can make out areas where the wallpaper glue has decomposed. Also, this room is so small, that it is impossible to take a good photo that shows off the whole car. I'm sure that it must've looked much better 30 years ago...


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I want to see how people react to hearing me say that "I drive a midget".


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A powered tricycle- this is a direct ancestor of the modern tuk-tuk.


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You can't really tell in this picture, but the black mechanic has a huge smile on his face. Why? I can only guess that he is much happier to be working on a Model T than in the cotton fields (who was the Japanese guy who thought up this display? Thats what happens when people grow up with images of Sambo etched into their memories.).


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I think that the old Mazda logo is pretty cool, and predict that someone will see this pic and create a kit for Miatas and RX-7s (dunno if it would look as good on an RX-8).


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I'll just let the picture speak for itself. Feel free to write a caption...


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All of the cars in the Yufuin Car Museum are in sorry shape, cramped together, and are poorly lit. This was actually a GOOD idea for an underfunded museum, as the low light, and the cars being placed RIGHT next to each other hide the blemishes much like the ugly in bars and nightclubs is hidden by low lighting and the crowd (especially after a few drinks...). Surprisingly, they had many rare cars and some of them, after a LOT of work, have the potential to be real gems. I think it would be great if the museum sold its cars to a museum with a lot of money, so that these cars can receive the restoration and maintenance that they deserve.

Holy Water

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Every once in a while, I take a picture that I really like. This one was taken at a lake in Yufuin (in Oita-ken), and I had to venture out into the water to get it.

I really like the shrines that are built in or around water in its various forms. They seem more powerful, or at least more interesting. This one made me wonder: did they drain the lake in order to set the concrete columns in place and then fill it back up, or did they build it and then create the lake, or did they just sink in the columns pre-fabricated? Of course, it would be cool if it just magically appeared from the void or if it was built by supernatural beings, but if this were the case, I would hope that they would use more exotic building materials, like an all knowing oracular slab of midnight blue sapphire that could only be awakened by the one who was foretold of by the prophecy, or a rock that would be indistinguishable from ordinary concrete, that if touched would instantly cause its victim to be disintegrated, transomgrafied, or transported to a different dimension.

Come Again?

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This sign lacks the standard misspelled words and strange grammar, but somehow it is still distinctly Japanese


Oh, how I was dying to go into this ramen-ya and mime my way through every interaction with anyone in my sphere of influence. I remember finding this same sign 4 years prior when on an epic roadtrip with Justin, Taro, and Sayaka, except this time we (Natchan and Pitia, visiting from Nara) decided to eat here. The tonkotsu was dissapointing- the broth had no soul, the noodles were limp, and the pork was too fatty. This was the type of ramen that you wouldn't even feel like making slurping noises with, because it just wouldn't seem fitting to draw any attention it.

Beppu, as a place, is kind of a dissapointment for me. They have no great specialty foods like Kumamoto and aside from the jigokus (hot springs, litteral translation is "hell" supposedly because the steaming strange colored pools matched descriptions of the hells depicted in Buddhist scriptures), onsens, and the sex museum (worth a visit to see Snow White and the 7 Dwarves: the XXX version) there are few places of interest. Despite this, I have had a great time here on both times I have visited, but this was due to the company rather than the setting, as is usually the case.

We had a good time visiting Yufuin, taking pictures, resting in the sand baths, eating sushi from the conveyor belt (stay away from the sea centipede, nato/quail egg combo, and the yellow egg sushi- trust me on this), and finding places of interest in and around Beppu.

If you are planning to come to Kyushu one day, let me give you some advice: There are many more interesting and worthwhile places for to spend your time and money instead of Beppu. Most people come either to see the jigokus or to visit the onsens. I admit, the Jigokus are kind of interesting, but I don't see how anyone can burn a whole day looking at boiling hot pools of interestingly colored mineral water, and the cheesy, poorly maintained decorations that seem to detract rather than complement them. Their onsens aren't bad, but Kurokawa is still my favorite place to soak in the hot mineral water while listening to the wind blow through the leaves and the gentle roar of the river below.

Chinese Meat Market

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The "butcher/deli" section in a market in Shanghai.

Shopping for ingredients in Shanghai is an adventure of sights and smells. We wandered in a large, grey, hulking building and found each section of the two floors packed with a huge variety of food in its virgin state (more or less). Nothing is nicely packaged here, there is no celophane wrap or styrofoam (Chris, does this ordinary word conjure up any memories?) and everything sits out in the open. You can tell things are pretty fresh, because the air is balmy, and there is no stench of decay, just the odors of vegetation, spices, blood, dirt, slime, and slowly decomposing generic cellular material.

Hah, people in California think that shopping at Trader Joe's is supporting struggling co-ops and individual farmers and craftsmen while supporting the organic farmers of the world. Shop at a real Chinese market and you know that your cabbage was Certified Organically Grown with the contents from that farmer's outhouse. It don't get much more organic than that. There are no processed foods here. And you won't be asked "paper or plastic?"- they will simply take a sheaf of yesterday's newspaper and reuse it to tie up your package of meat. If you don't bring something to put your purchases in, then you will carry them in your arms.

What kind of "meat" is that, do you ask? Dunno for sure, but it sure looks like it would make for some kick-ass barbecue. If you really want to eat disgusting meat, I don't think it can get any more mysterious, unsanitary, or unidentifiable than the "meat" found in the common taco of Tijuana. Tu quieres carne de gato y perro?

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Nam is chasing the sea gulls next to Huntington Beach Pier, on a fabulous afternoon in January. Justin is sitting on the pale sand smoking a cig, and I am taking pictures. This was exactly what we wanted to do on our Winter vacation.

Today the weather is excellent. The sky is a clear blue- the kind of blue you only see in the deepest reaches of the country when there is a stiff wind blowing. A good day to fly a kite, or to go sailing. And my work for the day mirrored the weather.

Soon all three hoikuens will become one, under the watch of the windmill. I have enjoyed working at the smaller hoikuens because I have gotten to know the little kids one on one. I am closer to the little ones than almost any other JET in Japan has ever had the opportunity to be, I think. So I am enjoying the last of our time together, before I must divide the time among all of the kids in a huge group as impartially as I can. My successor will never be able to connect with the kids as I and my predecessors before me, but then again working at only one hoikuen will make the job much easier. For me, the extra work was well worth the opportunities and experiences.

Today, we all played outside, everyone shoveling sand in a pile to build a huge mountain. Everyone pitched in, and we had a small hill built in ten minutes. I taught the preschoolers about volcanos and lava, by pouring bucketfulls of water in the caldera and breaching the side to let the slurry wash down a curvy channel, filling a lake. Thats what I did for work today- playing with sand and water- I mean, who else gets paid to do things like this? It's strange teaching English to such little kids because they are probably learning concepts and symbols in English at the same time or even before they learn them in Japanese. I only wish I could teach them every day...

At the shogakko, I made a huge mural with the 5th and 6th graders of Kumamoto city, complete with a street, buildings, cars, people, and anything else that they wanted to make. Giving the kids open reign on a large, communal canvas is a great way to get them interested in learning about things in English and you can feel their desire to learn English grow. Working interactively in a lesson really helps the kids to retain what they have learned well after it is taught, even without review. As of late, I have been more informal in class than usual, and this works with my students because we have developed a good balance between fun and learning, so that they make no differentiations between the two. Learning is fun, and fun is learning for right now. I hope that I have built up enough momentum in their interests so that they continue to pursue their current interests in English and the world outside of Japan.

Putz Master

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This is a close up of a concrete pump in Shanghai, in front of a new gargantuan shopping mall under construction along the Bund. I had never seen a Putzmeister until then, and so I assumed that Putzmeister was a Chinese company that made cheaper versions of Caterpillar equipment.

"Putzmeister is considered world-wide as the pioneer for equipment plant and systems for concrete, mortar and high-density solid pumps", but the one thing that sticks out to me about this German company is its name. I know nothing about German except that:

"Jager" = "Hunter" and
"Meister" = "Master",
therefore, "Jagermeister" = "Master Hunter".
In this vein "Putzmeister" means "Master Putz".

I am guessing that "putz" is an onomatopoeic word, roughly equivalent to "putt" as in the sound that a running engine makes. If this pump does belch out the greatest of the putts, it must sound like all of the Titans letting out trouser-ripping farts in quick succession. I'm just trying to say that I think that Putzmeister has a nice ring to it, in a German-ish sort of way.

Nastiness

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Today I was eating lunch at the new Hoikuen with the Yuri-gumi (Hoikuen is divided by age groups from oldest to youngest: sakura-gumi, yuri-gumi, and ume-gumi) across from a 4 year old boy, while the 4 year old boy in back of me was chewing on my sweatshirt refusing to stop or to admit that it wasn't "oishii". When I finally got his jaws open and made him sit a safe distance away, the kid in front, mouth full of fried chicken and rice, lets out a monster sneeze, blowing chunks of partially masticated saliva coated food mixed with atomized snot globules. Yup, the post mortem is right there on my tray. But the teachers didn't see it and suggest that I should get a new tray full of sanitary food, so I sucked it up and cleaned my plate. All throughout the meal, the 4 year old had an evil smile on his face, and I couldn't help but wonder if he had done it on purpose. I think that was nastier than involuntarity eating bugs in Thailand.


Today's random link: Kushami Otaku- for people who really dig sneezes.

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The rim of the largest caldera in the world, overlooking Aso-machi. If you look closelyasocalderasmoke.jpg,
you can see steam rising from Aso-san. Sulphuric fumes released from the top of Aso kill a couple of people each year, mostly the old or sick. Recently Aso mountain has been acting a bit "sassy", and so sometimes you can't go up (depending on how the volcano has been feeling recently).

Lately the weather has warmed up considerably to the point where I can comfortably wear two layers of clothes in the mountains, and a shirt and shorts in the city! Bugs have begun to come out of hibernation and are slowly making a comeback. I can no longer use my whole kitchen as a giant refrigerator. The snow is disappearing slowly, although the shady sections of the roads remain slick and dangerous (last year, around this time, a friend of mine flipped his car on a warm, sunny afternoon and had to get driven to the airport so that he could make it up to Osaka to watch J5 perform). Hanami is just around the corner, and I think that I am finally getting over my cold (that I caught right when I came back from Korea). Its Monday and I'm exhausted already, but at least we have good weather.

The Soccermom Gang

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A train of minivans, hailing from Fukuoka-ken, visits Ikeyama Suigen in Ubuyama-mura.

Who was it that decided to form minivan club, and who are the people who chose to join? Of all the clubs you could choose to be in, why would you want to be in "minivan-club". I have seen some pretty cool car clubs around Japan that these guys could have chosen instead or, at least, saved their money and aspired to join in the future.

Driving down the South side of Mt. Aso, I passed a group of 17 red Ferraris and Lambourghinis. In the parking lot of an onsen in Kyokushi, I lusted after the decked out Lancers and Imprezas. At a stop in Shimonoseki along the expressway(after a great weekend of snowboarding) I was truly impressed by the various hot rods that their owners obviously paid a lot of money to acquire and maintain. And these are just a few examples of great colletives of car people.

Minivan club, I mean come on guys! Yes, your Mazda MPV is in cherry condition, and yes, it has nice rims, but its still a friggin' minivan! Was your mom happy that you sunk all of that money on kitting it out, or did she suggest that you save it up so that you could move out of the basement? I think if I was in minivan club, I would put a wooden panel on the side, you know- like the ones that were common on Chrysler minivans in the 90's and on station wagons in the 70's and 80's.

Well, at least these guys didn't totally rice out their rides. They could have put ridiculously large sweeping fenders on that look like they belong on a Boeing(Got rice, bitch? BTW, why are there not more pictures up on the net of these hilarious vehicles?). Look, the ONLY van that will EVER pull off a spoiler is a certain red and black GMC driven by Mr. B.A. Baracus.

Subliminal Subjugation

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Take a careful look at this picture. I snapped this one in Okinawa but there are countless others just like it, all over Japan. Focus on it like a rorschach inkblot for a couple of secs. Now, what do you see?

What I see is a member of the Post WWII Occupational Forces, under the authority of Gen. MacArthur, holding the hand of a little Japanese girl. Notice that he's still wearing a helmet AND a flak jacket, yet he doesn't seem to be carrying a Thompson or an M-1 Garand... why don such protective gear without any form of weapons(On second though, I do the same thing before I go to shogakko and hoikuen sometimes.). Also, his left arm appears to be freakishly long and wavy, as if made of Silly Putty. Did the little girl pull on his sleeve too hard and stretch it out (this too, I can relate to).

Jumping off on a tangent, I have a theory on why Americans must take a driving test in Japan while Canadians and others that are part of the Commonwealth or the U.K. itself do not in order to obtain a liscense. These signs remind Japanese people every day that they were finally conquered by America, and that they can no longer bellow out anti-foreign rhetoric such as "Expel the foreigners, revere the emperor!" without causing shame and embarrasment to spread to anyone (Japanese) within earshot of them. Although Japan has friendly relations with the U.S., they still are able to get a small amount of retribution by inconveniencing gaijin from the U.S.. Yes, we Americans must submit to the Japanese driving test because they must look at this sign every day. A modern day example of Hamurabbi's code. At least, thats my theory.

The Presidental Erection

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Is how it would sound if you said "The Presidental Election" with a katakana accent. This post, however, is not gonna be about Engrish(at least, not very much), but will explore possible avenues for bringing your little General to attention.

Japanese have many foods you can eat and drinks that you can imbibe that are supposed to put more "boing" in the ol' wiggle stick. One famous Japanese spirit is known as mamushi-zake. Mamushi-zake is made by putting a Mamushi (a venomous snake of the pit viper family- you can tell it is bad news just by looking at the signature triangular head. Of course, YT tried to catch one that he saw in front of his house last summer, and that wasn't even the first attempt. gotta stop watching Steve Irwin and Jeff Corwin programs...) into a bottle and filling it with a liquer. I have heard that most people use shochu, or awamori in the case of Okinawa, because it is a higher proof than sake. Personally, I am yet to partake of mamushi-zake, but have heard its taste described as "spicy" and "strange". The buzz from this stuff is supposed to be different from regular alcohol, but I think this is probably just the results of a placebo. Sakata-sensei's(my previous co-teacher at Ubu JHS) father used to go hunting at Yamabuki suigen for this purpose. Supposedly, the best way to make the liquer is to drown the snake in the alcohol, as it is supposed to increase the potency, and keeps the snake in good condition (what a horrible way to die!).

Okinawa (and other places in Asia) also has their version of Mamushi known as Habu, which are basically the same snake, only bigger. I don't know this for sure, but I am guessing that Okinawans claim that Habu-shu will give you a bigger boner than Mamushi-zake, because the Habu itself is bigger and more powerful- at least, thats what I would say if I was a Habu-shu vendor.

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Okinawan Habu-shu

Another great "invigorating drink" is known as Toughman, made by Yakult. If you take a look at the third set of pictures down and to the right, you will see a bottle with a golden label. Look closely and you will clearly be able to make out the "frank and beans!". When Justin first sent me this bottle, I couldn't believe it. Advertising doesn't get any more explicit than this. He also sent me some Kit-Kat style chocolate cookies called "Woody", but these were not a product designed to produce a boner. Unfortunately, this product is no longer sold and I can find no pictures of it on the net. You'll just have to take my word for it.


How to Get the Most Bang for Your Buck: A Guide To Making Your Very Own Habu-shu and Mamushi-zake

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Doesn't it look like this habu has 3 fangs?

Sure, you can buy Habu-shu and Mamushi-zake from a retailer in an ornate bottle and have it wrapped up all nice and pretty, but this is expensive and does nothing to prove your manliness (might as well use pink wrapping paper with sparkly pink ribbon and a fluffy bow if you buy it at a store. while you're at it, remember to pick up a six pack of Zima). In order to get the most out of these two liquers, you need to do a little more than just shell out a couple of bucks.

First, you need to find an impressive bottle or jar, preferably one that will magnify the size of your snake (the convex curve of a regular cylindrical bottle or jar will serve just fine. Rectangular vessels should not be used, as they will accurately portray the size of your snake, the equivalent of not holding a fish out in front of you to make it look bigger- try it next time, it works! Also, keep in mind that this is one case where it is not acceptable to use Tupperware or a Ziploc baggie). Regular, uncolored glass is best for this job for obvious reasons. Make sure you also bring a stick, with which to pin the snake down with. I tried using a broom with a short, bamboo handle but this proved not to work very well. You've seen the snake sticks that the pros use to capture snakes with on the Discovery Channel, right? Well, if you don't have your own snake stick, surely you can find a cheap putter at a thrift store or take one from your local Minature Golf park (ahem...what I meant to say, was to BUY one...). This has a similar shape to the snake stick, and you can use it for a post-snake catching round of golf to celebrate your victory. You really should bring a friend along with a video camera to capture the whole adventure. If you are bitten, at least your family can see how you spent your last moments writhing in agony and foaming at the mouth. Last thing to bring along: get yourself some shochu, or preferably awamori (because it's stronger). Aw hell, forget that stuff, get yourself some vodka, because vodka and shochu are pretty much the same stuff. No, scratch that, since we're going for power, might as well get yourself some Everclear (I was told that Everclear has such a high percentage of alcohol, that if shaken or exposed to light, it will denature into a lesser proof. I think that Everclear is the same as Spiritus, which I can only describe as "pure evil").

Ok, now you can move on to the next step: finding your mamushi/habu. These snakes generally live in riparian habitats, next to streams or water. I have heard that they also climb trees, but so far have seen them basking on roads or hidden among leaf litter/grass. They move very fast, so be careful! If you are bitten, get to a koban (police box) as some of them carry antivenom. Your best bet is to get to a hospital, though. My advice: don't get bitten. You should really read this to find out what you should do in case you are bitten. Some people kill the mamushi (I will refer to both snakes as "mamushi" because I am getting tired of typing out "mamushi/habu") before putting them in the bottle, but real men catch them live and pour in the liquor. They then watch with a perverse fascination as the mamushi reacts to the burning agony of drowning in alcohol, thrashing around like an enraged dragon! Slowly, the beast will succumb to its fate, and you can walk back proudly, holding the jar in front of you like King Arthur brandishing the Holy Grail.

You will need to let the brew age, so that the alcohol becomes infused with snakey goodness. Supposedly, the venom diffuses into the alcohol and this is what gives mamushi-zake its potency. You will need to let the stuff sit for a long time (maybe 6 months to a year) in a cool, dry area. But it is, at least, equally important to remember to put it in a place where everyone will see it. Personally, I would put mine on top of the toilet or next to the TV. After all, there's no point in being brave if you can't prove it to others.

Ah, you will know your snake-flavored booze is ready when it turns the color of Jack Daniels, or maybe a few shades lighter. Remember, this is potent stuff so only drink a few shots at most per session(you only really need one shot, but... ah you already know what I'm going to say...). Also, some people have an allergic reaction to mamushi-shu. If you start to develop rashes or start asphyxiating because your throat swells up, that is probably a sign that you have an allergy. It might be a good idea to use Toughman or another product instead to achieve the desired results.

To make your mamushi-zake last as long as possible, don't chug down the whole bottle. Instead, you should drink about half of it and refill with the same type of alcohol that you originally used as a base. You can do this many times over and over again, but each time it will be a little less potent.

Finally, don't throw out the snake after you exaust your supply. Like the worm in a bottle of tequila, it should be eaten by the person who takes the last shot. So that about covers everything. If this "how to" guide inspires you to make habu-shu or mamushi-zake, I would like to hear about it! Good luck.

Virus Update

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I don't feel any better about the avian flu situation in Kyushu after reading this. Yesterday I was told that poultry farmers in Ubuyama are not allowed to sell eggs or any other chicken products until further notice. This morning, the officials inspected our chicken and came up with nothing, but Kokonoe is not very far away. Take a look at the map below:

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(from the Daily Yomiuri Shimbun)

Man, that would really suck if I had to stay put in Ubuyama due to a quarantine. You never know- its not beyond the scope of probability, in fact, I predict that the Government is gonna start quarentining areas if people start getting scared, like they were about SARS last year.

Sick Irony

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This year's SARS is Avian Flu. Last year, many JETs were unable to travel to Southeast Asia, and even Australia because everyone's Board Of Education was scared to death. I was barely able to slip out (turned off my cell phone because Joe warned me that his BOE had forced him and Jason to cancel their trip to Japan) with Justin and Nam to Thailand. Once there, I didn't once think about SARS, except when other people mentioned that the Secratary of Health (or some important Thai Guy in charge of the wellness of the Thai people) was offering something like 10 grand to the families of any person who died because they caught SARS in Thailand. Supposedly, really poor people were trying to get infected and come into Thailand to claim the reward...

Imagine my surprise right now. I just walked in, and on the front page of the Daily Yomiuri reads: "Avian flu hits bantams in Oita Pref." with a huge map with an X on it about 30 minutes drive from my house. I was just thinking at lunch "Hmmmm... Ubuyama has a lot of chickens, but Avian flu would never reach this far from Yamaguchi (which is located on the southern-most tip of the main island of Honshu, just North of Kyushu). Its too bad that some schools have made the teachers take over caring for the chickens, and that some have even killed all of theirs in order to be on the safe side. Ah, I better eat faster, it looks like Miki-chan is catching up to me...". And so, we will see how this affects Ubuyama. Luckily I don't live next to the chicken farm like my supervisor.

Valentines In Hiroshima

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Japanese busses are made for Japanese people. Even beer doesn't help much in these situations. These situations call for Night Formula Contac and a Jack chaser (or four)...

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Here's the whole crew (from left to right): Pyon-pyon, Peek-a-boo, Ralph(read caption #1 again), demon-bunny snowman, Faceplant, Lippy, and The Menace.

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The Menace wins the best jump award in the "sledding" category, Faceplant wins best wipeout. As usual, warnings were issued to members of our group. Yes that "Riding out of bounds is prohibited" announcement that was made ONLY IN ENGLISH was specifically for you, sayaku gaijin.

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Pyon-pyon launching her first successful jump, aaand she's hooked. Time to buy a helmet.

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On Saturday it rained and strong winds kicked up, scaring away the faint of heart and fashion boarders. We perservered through the cold rain, sledded down impossibly steep and dangerous runs both feet first and Skeleton style (with Joe's board breaking away from its tether, ricocheting off a tree, and smashing the skis from under an oblivious resting victim- no injuries luckily), had epic snowball fights, and constructed a couple of jumps and a snowman while waiting for the runs to resume. Sunday was excellent as well. The snow turned to a viscous slush under the sunny skies, but this allowed us to practice jumping without fear of smashing into ice, namely the 180. It was a day of cutting through trees, jumping off cliffs and ledges, and riding every slope on the mountain. Ah, good times in Hiroshima.

Best O' Luck, "Dirt Dog" Dempsey!

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Despite the smile, we all knew that Chris was absolutely livid. We could see it in his eyes.


To Chris,

The only one of us still living in Santa Barbara:

Good luck this weekend! I expect a full report on Monday, 500 words, 12pt. font, double spaced in New Times Roman. I will drink a beer or two for you as my form of tribute (Kampai!).

Ah, to quote Queen "Duna-duh! duh! duh! Another one bites the dust!" (the precedent being Brian- belated congrats BTW). So who's next? Place your bets...

Penonpen Ramen

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"Penonpen Ramen... Penonpen... Hmmmm." I pondered the katakana as we sat at a small ramen-ya hidden next to Hita's giant koban and in back of a huge pachinko parlor. "Penonpen, penonpen, penonpen.". And then it popped into my head. "Is Penonpen ramen named after a place?" I asked. "Yes, it's the capital of Cambodia" Tomohiro answered.

Tomohiro had drove me and Jaime 2 hours, stopping to sightsee along the way, with this particular ramen-ya as the main point of the daytrip. I have always had great adventures in the company of those who enjoy questing for great food while questing for great food (Kohei is the undisputed master, and everyone in my family is rather adept as well). Food is the only religion which I regularly and piously subscribe to, and there are many gods (this is a topic that would take up multiple posts to fully cover, and so I will stop here and hopefully remember to pick up on this thread later) whom I worship.

Yes, in a small, intimate, professionally run ramen-ya, not unlike the one in the movie Tampopo, I experienced Phnom Penh ramen for the first time. This place (Called Sato ramen-ya if you happen to be in Hita city in Oita-ken) had a great variety of ramen, including shio, shoyu, miso, tonkotsu, and Okinawan style to name a few. Phnom Penh ramen was vaguely "Italian" flavored because of the ingredients in the broth:

Chunks of stewed tomatoes
Celery
Bok Choi
Squid
Pork
Shoyu

I was a bit skeptical whether I would like this type of ramen (my favorite being a good Kyushu style tonkotsu) because it was so loaded with vegetables, but the more I ate, the more delicious it became. The broth also made a slammin' okayu when poured on top of rice. The fried chicken cartilidge (I forget what this is called in Japanese- honyarara karage or something like that) was also very delicious.

Other notable things about yesterday:
Woke up with no hangover, despite drinking too much on Tuesday night.
Went to Kuju Resort with the intent to snowboard, took one look and changed my mind. Saw steam over the ridge, and went to Kuju's jigoku (hell).
After jigoku, spontaneously embarked on said ramen eating expedition.
Took many pictures with sad, unmaintained manga statues along the way.
After lunch at the Sato ramen-ya, took a walk through old Hita looking at traditional crafts and trying to fend off numerous free samples of miso, ume, shiitake-cha, etc...
Took an onsen at Kurokawa.
Ate amazing tabehodai yakiniku (all you can eat barbecue) at the joint at the bottom of Takimurozaka.
Woke up today still full from last night.

Yesterday, I spent a whole day eating, sightseeing, and relaxing and it was really, really good.

Behold... A Five-Assed Monkey!

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Today was the day of the brand spankin' new Ubuyama Hoikuen's Rakusaishiki (Opening Ceremony). There were no good photo ops, but I will eventually take and post pictures of this great new pre-school which will merge Ubuyama, Nambu, and Hokubu into one big ball of energy. Kids will be put into giant hamster wheels, with a piece of candy hanging just out of reach, and power output is expected to exceed that of the Ubuyama fusha (the windmill, which is right next to the hoikuen) by a factor of 3.

Anyhow, after the ceremony, I went for a short drive up to Mt. Kuju and snapped a shot of this sign that I'd seen a year earlier. So what do they do here? Is it a boneless chicken farm, like that Far Side cartoon, or is a Saruman-like mad professor crossbreeding humans with cows as the lowest sign would indicate. The top sign leads me to believe that these man-cows(oh, wait- there's a precedent, right? I believe they are called Minotaurs) are giant, and so a road of sufficient girth was constructed to maximize their rate of mobilization. A future trip to this evil facility is definetely called for, but not without a BFG or some other suitable form of protection.

My Girls

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...Mmmmm... American Football wa cho-umai daro!

This weekend I finally got to meet some of the wonderful girls that I teach (via computer, and check out this description of me. not my best picture or profile, I suppose.) at Daiichi High School. Unfortunately, 5 out of 9 of them were too too sick to make it on Saturday, but we still had a great time together. It's amazing how motivated these students are to learn English, and it always surprises me when they express embarassment in their abilities. They should rightfully be proud of their impressive skillz. I wish I could speak Japanese as well as they speak English!

Saturday was a very unusual day in Kumamoto city. I woke up to find snow covering the ground and my car, and for a minute I thought I was back in Ubuyama. Needless to say, the taikan (gym) at Daiichi High School was freezing, but we all managed to stay warm by playing games and doing activities. I just wish that we had a longer time to chat and hang out. By the time I finally got warmed up and started to get to know everybody, the event came to a close. Thats the way it always seems to happen. If only I could spend a whole year with the students that I teach at these camps...

I would also like to say that my groups once again dominated in all of the contests (although they weren't necessarily recognized for it. ah, who would think that winning too much could have drawbacks?)! Ah, if only all English classes were fun and games, then more people would be speaking English.

And just to pre-emtively answer you: no, I will not hook you up with any phone numbers, dog, so don't even ask. Not on my watch.

Oh Sh*t

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(This type of snow isn't too hard to drive in. When the road is completely covered with a white layer and frozen and severely sloped. With regular tires and 2WD, you're in trouble...)


Is the song (by Pharcyde) that comes to mind when I think back on yesterday's driving experience. I was once again surprised to find 4 inches of new snow covering everything, and the roads were once again whitened. I tried driving up the hill next to my house, and despite a constant pressure applied to the accelerator, my car slowly came to a stop. No matter how hard I could have floored it with my front tires spinning (like a car in a cartoon, just before it zooms off into a chase) , or if I tried to rock my car out of this unstable position I could not have made it up any further. I put on the hazards, and shifted into reverse. Slowly I started down the ice covered hill, and when I began to slip, I engaged into 2nd gear and gently drifted to the side of the road so that my left tires bumped into the curb. Using the curb as a rail, I made my way back to my house in reverse. If the road had been banked towards the other side of the road, I would have been in trouble.

So yes, I will buy chains this weekend when I go to the city (broke the last pair). I have to admit, the folks in Ubuyama are skilled at driving in snow-covered narrow roads. Some people drive over 40km (20 is what I drive) on the slippery roads in little pickup trucks with no problems, although they have 4WD and snowtires to help them out. If I end up living in a snowy area, then I will be driving a car with AWD and at the very least I will have some chains.

All Systems Go

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ash.jpe


Finally Higo Blog and C. Buddha's Hasty Musings are up and running and once again, fully functional after one long postless week. You may have noticed that comments were inaccessable, and that we were not updating. Well, the problem has been fixed, so feel free to rejoice once again read and leave comments as you wish. Ah, its nice to be able to post once again.

Snow Pics

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Taken at Ubuyama Bokujo. What you can't see (to the bottom right, beyond the frame) is a big treaded set of tracks that told of multiple snow donuts on the tractor.

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Snow.

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Yuuto kun atop a mini-mountain of snow.

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Tried boarding down here, but it wasn't steep enough.

Gaijin Jelly Donut

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Koreans don't take no sh*t from smartass foreigners.

Ridiculously Cold

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sinksicle.jpg Are you under the impression that Kyushu is a warm place. Come to Ubuyama, my friend...

I used all of my faucets this just this morning. Despite this, every one of them has frozen. There is a 4 inch stalagtite hanging from my Kitchen faucet, a 3 inch stalagmite in my bathroom sink, and my bath faucet is frozen solid. Thankfully, my toilet works, and so does my shower! Hahaha! Finally some luck! Who cares that the water in the bowls and frying pan have turned completely to ice? Not me- dishes can wait indefinetely (as proven in college), but I can not live without a shower or a toilet. I recall having to boil water last year when my shower froze- remembering such experiences puts it all in perspective.

More Than Meets The Eye

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When I was 5, the Transformers was one of my favorite cartoons in the action category, up there with G.I. Joe, Voltron, He-Man (remember, I was only 5), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (spot the double entrendre here), Thundercats, Inspector Gadget, Jonny Quest, Silverhawks, and Robotech. I remember thinking breifly about who would win in an all out battle- GoBots or Transformers (It didn't take long to reach a definitive conclusion). If you happen to be curious, the answer to this question is exhaustively covered here.

However, Who would win this fight?:
The Constructicons (in Devastator form) vs. (Lion) Voltron.

My vote goes to Voltron, who would first fight the individual Constructicons broken down into 5 lions. A ferocious battle between the two teams would ensue, with the Constructicons slightly getting the upper hand. Outnumbered, the lions would come together to form Voltron, a move shadowed by The Constructicons. The Constructicons would get in a few good bitchslaps (while talking major trash to the seemingly mute Voltron- of course the pilots would be shouting encouragement, spitting out profanities, and grunting whenever they were dealt a telling blow) and maybe a couple of kicks to the groin before Voltron got pissed enough to clank his clenched fists together. Once Voltron unleashed his mighty longsword (at the apogee of a spectacular leap, of course!) he would streak down with tremendous speed and cut Devastator clear in half (who would be screaming "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"), resulting in an explosion of stupendous proportions. However, I believe that the Constructicons would win if they had help from Megatron.

And just for the record, I don't give a damn what happened in the movie (King Kong won in BOTH the Japanese and American versions of the film) or that their incarnations were equally matched in Rampage (they made Godzilla a bitch in this game if I remember correctly). It isn't even a question: Godzilla (destroyer of skyscrapers. special powers: invincibility, atomic breath, tail doubling as a bludgeon, super strength) would f*cking kill King Kong (climber of skyscrapers. special powers: super strength). Period.

Same Same, But Different

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Reading this post at Vagabonding (a great travelogue, BTW) was like reading Off The Rails In Phnom Penh: Into The Dark Heart Of Girls, Guns, and Ganja all over again (this is a great book by Amit Gilboa that talks about his personal experiences and goes over the crazy history of Cambodia. before reading this book, all I knew about Cambodia was Angkor Wat).

I really wanted to go to Cambodia after reading this book- not because it romanticized the place, quite the contrary in fact. This is a place where you can pay to fire RPGs and large caliber machine guns at livestock, live very comfortably while employing servants and AK touting body guards to serve you on a meager salary, buy the "services" of underaged girls for the price of a pack of cigarettes from their parents, do any drug you could possibly want, and pretty much do whatever you feel like without fear of getting in trouble or being judged by society. Add in the explosive political past (with such players as Pot Pol, Hun Sen, and the Khmer Rouge) and cartoonish present with the unfamiliar culture of the Khmer people, add in a pinch of truly lost expatriates, and you have the makings of some good pulp fiction style stories. I am inclined to believe people when they say that their trip to Cambodia, and Phnom Penh in particular, was a wild time. This looks like a place to visit for a couple of days, have a wild adventure, and then to go back home- a place to get some perspective.

Dunno though. After seeing the fat German dudes in Phuket walking off with teenage girls, she-males (this I found sort of amusing), and on one occasion a young boy, I don't think that I would like visiting a country that makes Thailand look like Disneyland. Reading "Hello My Big Big Honey!": Love Letters to Bangkok Bar Girls and Their Revealing Interviews made me really think about these things deeply. Seeing all of these perverted losers walking around with girls (who, if approached back in the states by these guys would be methodically hosing them with pepper spray) made me feel queasy to the point where I could not finish my pizza. Then again, some of the couples in the book ended up getting married and supposedly living happily together. Life is strange.

I don't think that the sex trade is bad in general. In fact, I think that it is an important service, just like therapy, massage, and other treatments that people pay for to remain happy and in good health. Hell, legalize it and throw the money raised from taxes into our educational system. Then it could be regulated like any other legitimate business and held to higher standards while at the same time, contributing to our society.

What I do have a problem with are the pedophiles. Seeing these disgusting people openly paying to have sex with children, especially when they are obviously feeling comfortable about it, is one of the worst things that I have ever seen. It made me angry and sick, and really want to do bad things to bad people.

So maybe I will just visit Angkor Wat if I make it around to Cambodia. After all, I can always go hunting for water buffalo (or hopefully a bus full of pedophiles) with my RPG-7 on the way to the airport...

American Engrish

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Damn, this picture is so great, I was tempted to cut and post it here, but I will resist my online klepto temptations. The site's worth exploring with gems like "Chinese Hut".

I had no idea that there were Mister Donut franchises in the states (who in their right mind would eat at Mister Donut when there are awesome places like Adam's Avenue Donuts, Yong's Donuts, Krispy Kreme, and all of the other Korean- uh, ahem, I guess I have been out of the loop for a while... make that Cambodian owned and operated donut shops that make GOOD donuts). Master Donut, heh. I know that in the Deathmatch Arena, Master Donut would undoubtedly kick Mister's Donuts, and then cannibalize his bretheren, while uttering "Now I am the Master".

On a related note, I heard a rumor that there is a Mos Burger located somewhere around Mater Dei High School in Orange County. I have also heard that one exists in Hawaii. Are there any Mos Burgers in the states? And I heard that they have Circle Ks and 7-11s over there too! What, what? Those stores didn't originate in Japan?

Ubuyama Snowboarding Safari

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My snowboard planted in a foot of powder in front of Yamaga Shogakko in Ubuyama. Arguably, this is the best place for snowboarding in my village.

Today I woke up late (10:00AM- I MUST be gettin old), and was shocked to see that 61 centimeters of snow (according to the news) had fallen over night, over the snow remaining from the previous storm. It was then that I knew that I had to dedicate today to finding some more spots to go snowboarding (last year I also went, but there was not quite enough snow to make it worthwhile). I spent 45 minutes debating under the kotatsu whether to go out for breakfast, or to go down into the caldera for groceries, since my fridge was empty. Instead, I decided to save time and get moving, went over to A-mart (this is NOT a convenience store, but a baser convenience store-like shop, with greatly hiked up prices) and picked up breakfast and dinner materials. That done, I cooked up a huge bacon, egg, and cheese sandwitch that seemed to be the best thing I had ever eaten in the cold of the morning, and set out at 11:10.

Phase 2. I thought long and hard about good spots to go, and drove around, scoping out the area. Since the roads were nearly impassable for the Wingroad, I decided to only board areas that I could reach on foot. I started out going boarding down by the logging road down by the swimming pool. This offered some stunning views of the clamshell terraced snow-covered rice fields that Ubuyama is famous for, and I stopped to take a few shots. Unfortunately, it was not steep enough to get sufficient momentum to cut through the fresh powder, and the snow was too thin in some parts because it was sheltered by the trees. As beautiful as this place was, I had to move on.

Despite the dangerous roads, I decided to jump in the car (this lead to some fun snow driving, more like sledding and sliding in areas) and to go to the steep hill next to the windmill. Unfortunately, some construction worker had the same idea, except instead of tearing down it on a snowboard, his idea was to use a backhoe to obliterate the hill and to flatten the surrounding area as part of the ongoing land development in that area.

So I began thinking... Blast! I live in the friggin' mountains! Are there no new places to explore? I could go to Hokubu and check out around Ikeyama and Yamabuki suigen, but the roads are under construction, and so I might not make it through safely. I want to go to Mt. Kuju, but the roads up there are impassable for certain... And then I remembered last year, when I tried to snowboard around Yamaga Shogakko. So I walked up the mountain and through the tunnel (screaming such gems as "Echo!" and "Hey you guys"- you know whats up), up the long driveway, taking the shortcut up the long set of stairs, walking in back of the snow covered gym and past the frozen swimming pool, up the hill in back of the school. It was really steep, but also really short. I bombed down around there a couple of times and rode down the zipline, which shot my ass with a sharp parabolic curve deep down into the arctic blue powder, just below the pure white surface. As fun as it was, it was not satisfying for the purposes of a snowboard safari. I thought again of the road leading up to the shogakko...

The middle of the road was cleared by the blade of a tractor, but off to the side was a long, 8 foot wide stretch of virgin powder with a skinny, treaded groove (made by one of the tractor's tires) running the entire 200 meters down. The grade was steep enough to be interesting, and the groove gave me a starting place to build up enough speed. The first ride down, I rode the groove like a record needle, and shot down with amazing speed. It was over within 30 seconds, and I was hooked.

I then started off into the powder, cutting back into the groove when the board would cut down and submarine, regaining speed. Eventually, I had groomed the whole length of the run, and practiced riding and jumping off of the long heaping margin of snow boulders separating my snow from the hard, steaming asphalt. I also practiced riding down on the backside of the board, slowly teaching my left foot to lead.

I spent a total of 4 hours climbing slowly up this hill, trying not to build up a sweat, and then shooting down. I could not stop myself from repeating the ride over and over, and despite the shortness of the run and the small area which I was confined to, I never lost interest. It brought back memories from one year ago, spending 2 hours on sliding my car around on the snow, doing donuts, finding out little secrets on how to make my car drive like it was not meant to be driven, and busting all manner of spins all the while blasting myself into a trance-like state with the help of DJ Shadow. Ah, the simple things in life are often the most enjoyable and addictive.

Occasionally a local would drive by and do a double-take, stopping to watch for a while and I will surely be questioned about this when I go back to work on Monday. Only when it got dark and cold did I retreat back to home. I reflected on a day well spent, while enjoying a hot bowl of garlicky kimchee miso based nabe (props to Jus for the original recipe. ah, the possibilities of future variations on this most excellent dish!).

As for snowboarding around Ubuyama, I can only think of two remaining spots to hit. I must remember to check out the construction roads that lead down to the dam, and the area around the Hokubu campgrounds and Higothai hana koen. I guess there's always tomorrow.

Ah, and just for the record, snowboarding in Ubuyama kicked the pants off of going to the Mt. Kuju "ski resort" (but most likely, hiking up Kuju and then boarding down would be a better ride). Let's take a look at the trade offs:

Yamaga Shogakko's steep driveway/road vs. Mt Kuju ski resort

Yamaga pros:
Free (as opposed to 5,000+ yen)
Within walking distance of my house.
Fresh, virgin white powder.
No "Great Wall of Young People" sitting in the middle of the course talking on their keitais blocking the slopes.
No closing time.
Technically challenging areas.
Allowed to change or modify the course as I see fit
Good exercise

Kuju Ski Resort pros:
Speaking English ensures a crowd of awed people (maybe this is a con).
Cafeteria with decent food (but expensive as hell!).
Ski lifts.
500 meter long groomed "course".
Ski patrol (if I got badly hurt, I would have to crawl 1 km to my home).
Young people in abundance (this is important when you live in a demographic such as my current village).
Being the best snowboarder on the mountain (no, wait... thats the SAME as Yamaga. and sadly, this is not an exaggeration. yes, they were ALL noobs, albeit noobs dressed and equipped in the latest, most expensive gear.).
Close to the Kurokawa onsens.

And so, although I had a good time at Kuju last year (since I got fresh powder there, and the blizzard chased away everyone else off of the slopes), I would have to say that boarding locally was a much more enjoyable experience. Would've been nice to have a few snow bunnies along, and a cafeteria in which to sip on hot cocoa and to munch on a cheese burger and Snickers bar. But it was still a pretty good day.

fy_iceworld.bsp

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Snow is dumping down on my village right now, and the roads have been covered in a blanket of snow three inches thick. Thank goodness that I am driving the Yakuba's Nissan Wingroad with AWD and snowtires, or else I would have to break out the chains (although it sucks driving a car with no stereo!).

Between the residual snow from the blizzard from two days ago, and the resulting layer from today, everything is covered in pure white coldness. If you added a couple of AT-ATs and tauntauns, then I would indeed be living on Hoth!

If it keeps on snowing hard for a couple of days, then I will once again look for a prime spot to go snowboarding in Ubuyama, like the Bokujo or one of the logging roads (didn't quite have enough snow last year).

Yep, so I think I shall stay inside and sip on some hot tea, hibernating (or more accurately, estivating) under the kotatsu table and slowly working through the DVDs that I bought in Shanghai. It is also about time to break out with the Nabe-fu and see how my Japanese culinary skills have advanced. Still much to learn, grasshopper...

Kagoshima Part 2

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The very next day after I got back from Korea, I made a trip with Kaori-Sensei and her friend Emiko down to Kagoshima. But first we stopped by the city to visit a shogakko student who was in the hospital.

Ryusei Nishida is a very good student who is liked by everyone. He's good at sports, and the girls like him because he's quite a charming little boy. After feeling a sudden and excruciating pain in his hip, he was admitted into the hospital, and they discovered a problem in his hip joint. They had to put three metal pins to hold together his fractured femur, and told him that he can't play sports or do P.E. until he is 20 years old. That means that from now (the 6th grade) until college, he can't do any sports of any kind. When we went to visit him, he was in high spirits as usual. Its just too sad to dwell on, however, Ryusei is a strong boy both mentally and physically and so he will still do well, even with his debilitating condition. If it had been any other student, I would be more concerned, but I know he will be O.K. We played a few games of babanuki (old maid), and then left with a black, cloudy feeling about the future.

The original plan was that we were all going to run in the Nonahana Marathon in Ibusuki, Kagoshima. However, both I and Ko-chan (Kaori's husband) came down with colds, so he stayed home and I went along just for fun. We went to sleep at about 10 P.M. and took off for Kagoshima at 2:30 A.M. (so that we wouldn't have to spend an extra night and extra money in a hotel). This was pretty rough, and I slept most of the way down. However, it must've been torture for the girls, who had to run. We arrived in Ibusuki at about 5:30 and slept in the car for an additional hour and a half.

There were 2 courses that people ran: the full marathon (42.195 K) and the 10K. About 10,000 people ran the full marathon and around 2,000 ran the 10K. People of all ages ran, some in really strange costumes such as square packages of pickled garlic, fish-men, faeries, and a giant Olive. There were so many people running that the people at the back of the queue were only able to start the race 10 minutes after the bang of the start.

It was inspirational watching those running the marathon. There were so many old people (50 and over) and people in the 70 year old age range were not uncommon. Made me feel like a wuss for dodging out due to a cold. There's nothing like healthy dose of good old fashioned shame to crank up the motivation. So I will be running the Saga Marathon on April 4th, most likely. Then again, maybe I'm not that ashamed of not running the race.

The atmosphere of the marathon was just like a matsuri. There were food booths, a magic show, a stage where I took pictures with Miss Ibusuki 2004, and lots of people in costumes walking around. The course was also spectacular. It was all flat and next to the beach, lined by bright yellow nanohana flowers (rape blossoms). If I'm around, I might have to run this marathon next year.

After they finished the marathon,
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we headed over to the sunaburo onsen (hot sand bath). This place was located right on the beach, and the natural volcanic heat rose up steaming through the sand.

First, I observed the bilingual sign telling me how to take a sand bath, and warning not to stay in for too long, or I might become baked like a piroshky. Next, I changed into a yukata (thin cotton robe), and went down to the beach, right in front of a calm ocean. I layed down between a bunch of sand mounds from which only faces protruded. A young man came over with a shovel and started to mound steaming hot black volcanic sand on top of me and asked me if I was Korean (I simply laughed as an answer, so he was probably thinking something like "those crazy Koreans!"). I was slowly covered, and when it was complete, I was entombed in a sarcophagus.

The weight of the sand bearing down on my thorax brought to mind that old puritan man who's last words before being crushed to death with a huge pile of stones on his chest was "more weight" (what a badass!). The sand was heavy, pinning my whole body. This amplified the effects of the heat, which pierced straight through my flesh to my lungs and heart. Watching the rise and fall of the mound on my chest with each breath, I noticed that my heart beat was also visible, and the heat made it so that I could feel my pulse in my fingers and feet. This was one of those strange moments in which I felt completely in touch with my body, kinesthetically, spiritually, and physiologically speaking. After 10 minutes, the heat grew uncomfortable, and so I slowly emerged from my bed of earth, like a mummy come to life under the Egyptian dunes. If you happen to be in Ibusuki in the winter, or during a bout of cold weather, I highly recommend slapping down the 1,500 yen, for it is well worth it. However, during the Kagoshima summer, I think that this might prove to be an unpleasantly hot experience, but maybe not. It was 4:30 when we left, and there were still many people running the final 5k of the marathon. They had been running for 6 and a half hours, and I no longer regretted not running at all.

After the sunaburo, we made a trip down the Ibusuki Skyline. Like the Aso Skyline, this drive offers some excellent curvy roads to practice your mountain driving technique, and the view was breath taking. We drove into the sunset, with Kaimondake looming against a golden orange sky. I had previously climbed up Kaimondake, dubbed the Fujisan of Kyushu, six months ago so it was cool to see it from a different context. It was like looking at a Hokusai print in real life. I must say, if you have the chance to climb this beautiful extinct volcano, I highly recommend it (climbing this mountain was much more fun and offered a better view for me compared to Mt. Fuji).

That night we stayed at Eyouken Hotel, a Ryokan North of Kagoshima City.
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This Ryokan boasted 3 onsens and was right on a beautiful river, filled with carp and minnow-like fish. If I ever go back, I will bring my fishing equipment or fashion a line and pole out of some stray bamboo and grass.

I went to the onsen once that night, and once the next morning. Both times I was completely alone, and had the massive pools to myself. It was a bit spooky and had a Purgatory-like ambiance because the rooms were filled with steam, so that you couldn't see anything past two feet in front of you. My morning onsen was awesome. To reach the baths, I had to walk outside in the bitter cold, on a stone bridge arching over a koi pond. Once inside, I showered off and walked slowly through the mist, entering the scalding-hot red-tinged opaque bathwater. My nerves screamed in out in that sharply specific cry that is about 30% pleasure and 70% pain. Large windows situated near the ivy draped vaulted ceiling let in an strong arctic draft, so my face was whipped by the cold while my body turned lobster red from the heat. I walked around the fog, and discovered a miniature landscape with giant statues of frogs, naked women, woodland creatures, and a fake stuffed crane. Had it not been for the heat, I would have stayed in that bath for the whole day, completely happy to have the place to myself.

The women didn't have as good of an experience. Their onsen, the rotenburo, was located outside, in plain view of any who happened to be strolling along on the adjacent bridge that spanned the river. Needless to say, they quickly hopped in and out and so we finished at the same time (girls always take a friggin long time in the bath, so taking my time is roughly equivalent to women hastily racing through the same actions).

The last thing that we did in Kagoshima, before leaving for Kumamoto, was go to eat Shirokuma (white bear, polar bear, or shaved ice, depending on the context. In my case it was the latter of the three) during coming of age day. It was cool seeing all of the 20 year old girls fully dressed in kimono as well as a few guys. Everyone was in a good mood, and had gone though lengths to look their best on this important day. If you have a kimono fetish, this is the day that you want to visit Japan on.

The Shirokuma was excellent. The ice was finely shaved and had a feather-light quality, not grainy or pebbly like the cheaper shaved ice that you get at the country fair. I got the one flavor that I had never seen before, despite skepticism and rude noises made by those who chose their flavor of Shirokuma with less skill. And it turned out to be the shit! It tasted better than theirs, and they kept asking for more. So remember, the chocolate Shirokuma kicks the most ass in the "pure flavor" Shirokuma category.

I must say that traveling with girls is a completely different experience than crusing with the guys. Instead of roughing it, we enjoy the comforts along the way. Instead of getting drunk and wrestling and getting angry and laughing at other's misfortunes, we get drunk, and play games, and have in depth conversations. Instead of saving money by eating food bought exclusively out of convenience stores, we eat frequently at good sit down restaraunts and nibble on delicacies famous to the region. Instead of doing stupid things that might get us into trouble, we relax and enjoy the views and other sensory input, taking on a more reflective role in contrast to a hyperactive one. Instead of covering our B.O. with deodorant, we bathe regularly and remain in a perpetual state of cleanliness. Ah, its good to hang out with the girls for a prolonged period every once in a while, allowing the body to heal from inevitable wounds and other miscellaneous damage that results from hanging out with the guys.


Places That I Enjoyed In Kagoshima:

1. The Kagoshima Suizokan (Aquarium). A top notch aquarium complete with some excellent specimens such as adult Pirarucu from the Amazon, a giant sturgeon, various gigantic rays (but no mantas), a tiny whale shark, and an electric eel of notable girth complete with analog voltmeter that displays the electric output during feeding time. Admission is 1,500 yen.

2. Sakurajima (Cherry Island). This volcanic island sits in the middle of Kagoshima Bay, and there is a youth hostel you can stay at for around 2,000 yen a night (this is super-cheap, and better than camping out during a hot and humid Kagoshima night, as I found out). The onsens on the island have red, muddy, sulfur-rich water that is said to be theraputic (but mostly it just feels good to soak in one after a long day). The ferry is also pretty cheap, and you can even take a car over to the other side (for about 1,500 yen, if I remember correctly).

3. Kaimon-Dake.
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This mountain is a medium challenge to climb. Takes about 2.5 hours at a slow and steady pace to reach the top. The view is spectacular, both from the peak, and from a distance. It is free to climb if you enter through the town. Also, the beaches around this area are spectacular, with black sand. My only complaint is that just below the tideline, medium sized stones will crush your toes is you forget to pack the aqua socks (I didn't so I was O.K.).

4. Kagoshima City. This place is a lively, decent sized metropolitan area. I feel at home here for some reason, and find it more exciting than Kumamoto city. There are many historical sites to check out in and immediately around the city center. At night time, the red light district is really lively, and the girls flirt more agressively to drag prospective clients into their snack bars.

5. Unagi Mura. This place seems even more inaka than Ubuyama, because everyone seems to be at least 80 years old. Unagi (meaning "eel") is a small town located in the middle of a dead volcano, with a lake in the bottom of the caldera. I went to the local onsen (a tiny hut) with a hairy Portugese ALT, and it was a true life anthropological experience interacting with the native "small people". Dayamn pops, yeah we're foreigners, but staring at another man's wang is poor manners in any culture that I know of. Tend to your own unagi. Anyhow, this is a cool place to drop by and experience a deeper level of hidden culture.

There are so many cool places to check out in Kagoshima, and I have the feeling I will return once again.

Back In The Motherland

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I just stepped back into my apartment after a full day and two nights in Seoul, which I will write about later when I am not about to nod off. I just want to say thanks to everyone who made time to see me, and who did stuff to make my trip a great experience. Even repeatedly puking up partially digested medium-rare lamb and recovering for the majority of my trip home could not keep me from having a good time.

It was good to go home and to see that I was not as disconnected from everything as I had feared. Much has changed while I have been away, but the main things that I love about living in California pretty much remain the same, while my appreciation of them has grown extensively.

Much to write about, but I will wait until I am coherent enough to put together a cohesive sequence of verbage. Thanks to everyone who was there, you know who you are.

SF Road Trippin

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Don't ask me how, but I am traveling in N. Cal. with 4 family members, a family member's GF, and a dog. No one has gone crazy because we took 2 cars (this method is highly recommended!) and rotate its occupants frequently.

Today we visited Monterey Bay Aquarium, and it was bigger abd better than I remember it. My favorite fish of today was the wolf eel in the giant kelp tank. It decided to get some exercise and I felt a smug sense of satisfaction at hearing those around me trying to match it with it's informational plaquard as I, the uber-marinebionerd, was busy re-playing the experience of seeing the toothy yawn of a butchered sea wolf in the Northern Kyushu city of Hita resting atop a hill of ice cubes.
Anyhow the parents and Mika are heading home tomorrow and reservations and other preparations for New Years Eve have been taken care of. We are gonna rock in the 2004 in SF this year! Its good to be back in the States.

Omen Update

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I just stepped out the door to find myself in the middle of a raging blizzard, under a fluffy, cloudy blue sky. The road out front has become a slick, dangerous white line, but it is leading me home. A little more than one day to go...

Tremors

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An earthquake just hit me right now. It was small and only rattled the house for about 10 seconds, and if I was asleep I would have never known.

I will take it as a good omen (hahaha, we shall see!). Less than 2 days until I leave Japan... California, warm weather, and possibly more earthquakes- here I come!

Comets

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At The Windmill

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Yesterday I went to visit the windmill at Ubuyama Bokujo (Farm) after work. The windmill stands alone, humming and whining in the wind, and becons people from all over Japan to drive up our country roads into my slice of BFE. When I tell people that I live in Ubuyama, I am always surprised to find how many people know of my village of less than 2000 people. They always either say "Ah, Ubuyama, the place with the windmill, right?" or "Ubuyama has very delicious water" and talk about how cool Kurokawa's onsens are (they really are the best I have ever been to). The windmill produces enough electricity to run the farm and is saving a lot on the energy bills, and I was curious whether more would be installed to power the rest of the village. No, they're just keeping the 1. Why? 1 is aesthetically pleasing. More than 1 constitutes an eyesore. Its too bad, I think. Our woods are all uniform trees of the same species, shape and heigth, the result of farming trees instead of managing an ecosystem, and I don't think that adding windmills to a couple of mountain peaks would have much of a derogatory impact on the view (ah sh*t, reverting to Envirotalk... quick! someone fire up the charcoal grill and Q me up a big cheap steak cut from rainforest cattle, served on a virgin white dioxin infused paper plate).

I was screwing around with my camera, and for about ten seconds, it reverted to a normal keitai camera. After I captured a beautiful sunset (over the Haunted Hotel), it switched back to "magic mode". Justin was right. My D251 is a MAGIC keitai camera.

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The magic moment.

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Ubuyama Windmill.

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Taken seconds after the first pic.

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The Hoikuen Experience

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I love teaching at hoikuen, especially during the holidays. All three that I visit are completely different in regards to individuals, groups, teachers, learning environment, kyushoku (school lunch), etc... Today I went to Ubuyama hoikuen, after not coming for the two previous weeks (they were practicing for their Christmas-kai, a sort of Christmas festival unique to hoikuens as far as I know). This place is sorta like the Apollo theatre in the sense that if I do not give a fantastically entertaining lesson with lots of new games (this is harder than it sounds, as some kids are quite smart, and others can not yet talk or walk), the kids will get out of their seats and cause a ruckus, leaving a trail of detritus in the wake of their innocent wrath. In one memorable case, a kid stood up, got an Evil Ash-grin on his face, and banzai-charged me, socking me with surprising power and speed in the nuts. Constructive criticism noted, and "rebuttal" presented after a painful 5 minute recovery in the fetal position (but to clarify, this was at Nambu Hoikuen). Interestingly enough, the teachers at this hoikuen don't really discipline the kids very much, so the stakes are high to put on a good performance. I know where they are coming from, and it pushes me to give 100 percent effort every day. A half day a week at Ubuyama hoikuen is enough for me, thank you very much. I can understand why some parents choose to put their kids on ridilin, although I think this is a huge failure of in our society on the parts of the parents as well as the educational and medical communities for recommending this drug liberally, in the majority of cases I have encountered. This is probably a reason why I love to frequently hand out candy in class.

It took me a few months to realise that although I was supposedly there to teach "English", my time is better spent engaging the students in activities and games as the primary focus with English playing a supporting role, while creating an environment that encourages interaction. So for over a year now, its been all about having fun and designing an interface to exchange ideas and develop a dialogue between information and education, and in no way forcing the kids to learn but rather helping them to explore their interests and engaging them.

Today I came (un)prepared and it worked perfectly. I find that my muse strikes me with the best hoikuen lessons while I am actively teaching the class. Everyone participated, payed attention, and even remembered almost all of the English that I taught (this is highly uncommon at this large hoikuen, as some kids can't speak Japanese yet), along with the gestures.

Ah, the Christmas lesson... No kids, its not all about a "special cake", its about presents, more specifically toys. But it is important to remember that if you recieve socks, you must let the relative who gave them to you know EXACTLY how you feel. That's right, a big uppercut to the crotchular area (your small hand sinks into the nether-regions, not unlike a phosphorescent blue Sting into Shelob's underbelly). Now that's the essence of cultural education.

Nah, what today's lesson was about was Chrismas greetings, symbols, and presents (candy and stickers). After I leave, I know my kids will forever remember the various American holidays. When someone mentions "Halloween", "Thanksgiving", "Christmas", or "The Fourth of July" to my kids, they will be hearing "CANDY and making toilet paper mummies", "Candy and Turkey", "candy and presents", and "candy and fireworks". And so I know that I have been a great ambassador for the United States through the JET Programme, and through sugar.

Another reason why I love teaching at the hoikuen: Kids love to ask me questions, and I feel obliged to enlighten them whenever possible, as I see fit. Today I was asked:

Hoikuen Kid: Adamu-sensei, unchi de Eigo wa nan desuka (how do you say shit in English)?
Me: Poo.
HK:Adamu-sensei, shikko de Eigo wa nan desuka (how do you say piss in English)?
Me: Pee.
HK:Adamu-sensei, chinko de Eigo wa nan desuka (how do you say penis in English)?
Me: (thinking...hmmm...these kids are damn good parrots when it comes to THIS English. Best to evade the question) Eh, henna shitsumon da. Betsu no sensei ni sonna shitsumon shite kudasai, wakatta (What? That's a strange question. Go ask a different teacher please, understand?)?
HK: Ok, Poo sensei (ah, I am truly proud of you Saki-chan)

The kids are so friggin cute, and they remind me of myself when I was their age. They really didn't want me to leave, and kept on telling me "Adamu dai-suki" (I really like Adam). Although touching, I wasn't going to be late for the Chugakko, and I continued on my way, bulldozing anyone who was getting between me and the exit. Next they tried their usual "swarming fireants" attack (yes they tried to bite me with their mandibles of death, but only got mouthfulls of denim), but they were no match for my tickle and retreat counter-maneuver. So they stole my sweater (which they first stretched out by trying to climb the mountain that is me in order to get a piggy-back ride, and now it can fit Justin perfectly... hmmm... someone is getting a sweater for Christmas this year) and hid it, refusing to tell me where it was. Hahaha! Stupid kids, don't you know that the best way to make an adult stay longer against their will is to steal their car keys and/or wallet?

In order to make sure that they remember that Christmas is not about a stupid cake, I left a pound of candy and a hundred stickers for the teachers to put in their construction paper stockings. I feel a sense of accomplishment somehow, knowing that I will not be around when the sugar rush sweeps over a classroom armed with lots of stickers.

As a fellow Boy Scout Sea Base instructor once told me "teaching kids is the best form of birth control". Words of wisdom that haunt me to this day. I think everyone should be required to take care of other peoples' children before they are allowed to reproduce. STDs are not scary enough to drive the "safe sex is not a bad idea" point and the "is having a kid right now a good idea" question home, but taking care of children, that'll make you think twice about bagging the wang (although with plan will frequently backfire on those estrogen-crazed-white-fanged women who hear the call of the wild).

Filter

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It really sucks having a broken keitai camera. Just last Saturday, I found a baby doll named "Po Po", and also some super funky old school japanese B movie ninja/samurai/detective posters. It was frusterating not to be able to document them. I think that I will either change over to AU or try and cash in my Docomo account points for new camera phone. Anyhow, below are some strange self portraits. Enjoy.

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Atomic Karate Chop!

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The good 'ol G.I. Joe standard.

Remember, knowing is half the battle!

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Mmmmm, it does go well with the chicken!
Delicious again Peter.

Demon Child

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Ubuyama's "Dream Bridge"

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Herbal Coffee

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Sunset As Seen On The Caldera

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Tips On Ear Popping

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I suspect I will be using one of these techniques on the long flight back.


TIP FOR ALL DIVERS: Practice clearing the night before the first dive of your trip, and immediately before your first dive. It will loosen "things" up.

EAR-CLEARING TECHNIQUES
Valsalva Maneuver: The most common ear-clearing technique, this maneuver involves holdnig the nose, closing the mouth and blowing gently. This raises the pressure in the pharynx, forcing air up the Eustacian tubes into the middle ear. Avoid forcefully performing this maneuver since it can damage the inner ear.
Toynbee Maneuver: Performed by holding the nose and swallowing simultaneously. The Eustacian tubes open momentarily, allowing air to enter the middle ear. This technique will also releive reverse squeezes.
Frenzel Maneuver: This atraumatic method of adding air to the middle ear is accomplished by closing the nose, mouth and glottis voluntarily, then driving the tongue backward, which acts as a piston to compress air into the nasal cavities and through the Eustacian tubes.
Yawn and Swallow: Thrusting the lower jaw forward and slightly opening the jaw, while keeping the lips pursed around the regulator and swallowing accomplish this maneuver.
Head Tilt: Many divers find that one ear clears more easily than the other. By tilting the head so the "bad" ear points upward, the stretchig of the Eustacian tube opening may make it easier to equalize.

I Love The Onsen

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I have been going quite frequently as of late. Today, I went with Joe and Azumi to an onsen in Kikuchi.
Its too bad that onsens will never catch on in America. Sitting in the sauna helps to sweat out a hangover, and to get rid of all the toxins. You can smell a night's worth of booze leaking out of the pores, and it feels great. Sitting under a column of pounding water really drives into stiff muscles. I am lucky to live in Kumamoto, because I enjoy going to the onsen.
I also love to switch between the hot baths (or rooms) and the ice cold pool. It feels great to be uncomfortably hot, after soaking up heat for a while, and then to plunge your whole body under the cold blue shock of spring water. The marine mamalian response immediately kicks in, slowing down the heart rate, shutting the eyes closed tight, and locking a hastily drawn breath into frozen lungs. Your senses are heightened, and after sitting in the pool for a while, it starts to feel like your skin has a polar bear-thick layer of blubber underneath. Then when you return to the hot tub, the heat pierces through your body like acupuncture needles. I like to do this several times, and by the end, I am buzzing, a purer and gentler energy than Lipovitan.
The only thing that I don't really enjoy doing is going into the electrically charged water. Some people enjoy sitting next to electrodes and getting a mild electrical shock, but it just feels like an unpleasant stim-flex machine. It is fun to see your dumbass friends see what it feels like to put body parts of their choosing close to the plates.

Good Day!

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I just finished an epic sandwitch, it's less than a week until I take off for the U.S.
and oh, by the way,

WE CAPTURED SADDAM HUSSEIN (according to the DNA tests, as of now)!!!

What a great Christmas bonus for our troops in Iraq!

Let's Enjoy Christmas Shopping

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music cues, a panicked, whiplash-inducing glance for the exit. sinking feeling of impending doom. hands stiffen, drop the can of corn nibblets and smack over ears with vice-grip of death. a futile gesture of resistance "Aaaaaaughhhhh!!! Make it stop! Must...get...away...from...Wham..."


Last Christmas I gave you my heart...


complete sense of pure unfiltered dread momentarily drowns out all sensory input and cognitive processes, auto-pilot violently, abruptly overrides manual control. interfacing, specifically and most importantly control of motor functions, is shanghaid, limited to only sensory input. bashing head against the steel extrusion of the shopping isle, chikkabwaayayayang-ing, a diving board, and canned Green Giant creamed-corn jumps down, a bludgeoning rain. this is strictly a base level reaction of the nervous system to a powerful stimulus

...And the very next day, you gave it away...

optic sensors spot the massive, carefully crafted ziggarut of bread down the lane, legs start building up speed toward the objective

...This year to save me from tears...

continuing to build up momentum... targeting system locks onto dead center of pyramid, dives in with hands tucked at side for optimal aerodynamics, flying vertical with face leading first. slightly distorted greyscale stock footage of a tomohawk missle, from its POV, converging on an iraqi bunker jacks into the optical feed and

...I'll give it to some one special...

tactile senses slice their way to the front of the line. face feels the soft give of opaque plastic bag and 5 fat slices of japanese white bread for 1/100th of a second, followed by the unexpected solid, unyeilding corner of the green ABS plastic milk bins, the hidden foundation, braced by the L intersection of the white-washed concrete wall and freshly waxed linoleum floor. the sizzling electric fuzzy hazed crunch of nose being coerced into the nasal cavity completely drowns out the bouncy thud of the body hitting the black and white checkered linoleum


...Special!


all signals lost for an infinite, unending moment, drowning in an infinite crimson tempest of noise. slowly, easing back into control of the totaled hulk of wreckage... a wave breaks, an uncontrollable urge to go sing Wham at karaoke crashes over, and recedes just as quickly. adrenaline buzz burns away, but endorphins start to kick in... ah, Christmas in Japan has come again, the slightly muted, warm, salty, excruciating pain helps bring into focus the original objective of a visit to the supermarket: now where are those blasted chocolate-strawberry Hello Kitty Christmas cakes?

Screaming Trees

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I just wrote this for my village's newspaper. It will be interested to see what people think of it when I come back from Christmas break.

Americans are generally very impressed at the Japanese traditional arts and their complex sense of aesthetics (or they pretend to be in order to appear "cultured"). Many people marvel at how a simple tree can be transformed into a graceful, highly stylized caricature through tireless pruning, shaping, and nurturing. Ah, the bonsai tree lives a tragic life. It?s branches are endlessly broken and set, cut off and cast aside, and it?s roots are confined by a small vessel to keep it stunted as long as it lives. Can you imagine if someone constantly broke your arms and legs, or kept you in a small box (because they thought that it made you look beautiful) in order to make you look different from what you naturally should become? I think that bonsai is a beautiful form of art, and I have nothing against the practice. But what if trees can feel pain, and can suffer (which I don?t believe, after all trees and humans are completely different)? I think that they might choose death as a Christmas trees instead of life as a bonsai.
In America, the average family celebrates Christmas (Chaunakkah and Kwanzaa are for a whole different article). The tree is the most important symbol of Christmas because everyone has one in their house, and more importantly it serves as shelter for the presents. The tree is what everyone sits around on Christmas morning to open their gifts. The tree is where all of the torn wrapping paper, opened boxes, and Christmas cards sit waiting to be cleaned up. The scent of pine always reminds me of Christmas.
Usually, families go to pick out a Christmas tree from a Christmas tree farm or vendor. The characteristics of the Christmas trees are given much consideration, for example: is it the right height? Does it look good from every angle? Is it big (small) enough to fit all of the presents, or to make it look like there are a lot of presents, underneath? Is it too dry? Is it too expensive? Is it the right species of tree? Is that guy about to buy the Christmas tree that I want? These are just a few of the thoughts that we consider before making a decision. Once the decision is made, the defenseless tree is sawed down and carried home on top of the car (another good scenario to anthropomorphisize and ponder).
Inside the house, the tree is carefully groomed, placed in a stand with plenty of water, and then it is decorated. It can take up to a day to fully decorate a regular tree, in order to get it looking just right. Lights, ornaments, and streamers are hung with great care, and are constantly adjusted to make it look good from all angles (like ikebana). I feel a great sense of relief and satisfaction when we finish with the tree (or any other pain-in-the-ass activity).
So why do I think that trees would prefer to be Christmas trees instead of Bonsai? The Christmas tree dies quickly, so although its life is shorter its death is also less painful. The bonsai tree often lives a long life full of being cut, cracked, and deformed, while the Christmas tree is cut just once (and slowly dies of thirst). If you feel sad for the trees, then my suggestion is to buy a fake Christmas tree or bonsai. I don?t feel sad for the tree (because it is a tree!), but I still say ?thanks? to it for being an important part of my Christmas. Merry Christmas everyone, and have a happy New Year!

Phosphorescence

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There are two types of bioluminescence that I know of. One form is created by the mixing of the chemicals luciferin and luciferase. Animals such as fireflies and anglerfish either have organs that produce luciferin and luciferase (both internally and externally) or support colonies of bioluminescent bacteria who produce these chemicals in their bodies, living in symbiosis in special organs called photophores.
The other kind is called phosphorescence. Phytoplankton, specifically dinoflagellates, use phosphorous to construct their shells and when they strike eachother, their shells emit light. I wonder if this phenomena is related to sodium particle emissions (turning a pickle into a crackling yellowish green lamp, with a load of lethal electrical current running through it).
Okay, let's pretend we're not nerds and get on with the story.
Two weekends ago I took a trip down to Ashikita and shared a cabin on the coastline with some friends. During the course of the night, we decided to go for a swim in the calm waters of the channel. The night was cold, but there was no wind and water was not much colder than that of the Pacific Ocean in Huntington Beach.
After contemplating the serene beauty of the moonlight rippling off of the wavelets, I led the initial solo banzai charge into the black water and belly-flopped with a Ker-Smack! An electric blue donut lived and died in a flash, circling me. Thrashing around, I was surprised to see a myriad of tiny blue lights, the same color as blue glow sticks but about the size of a grain of sand, flashing with the chaos of water within my sphere of influence. Everyone quickly joined in the melee,and the tiny dinoflagellates collectively gave off enough light to clearly see eachother underlighted by a ghostly blue. I dove beneath, and breaststroked (the best stroke of all), astounded at watching the lights illuminate my hands, arms, and even air bubbles. Someone else did this afterward, and from above it looked unreal- a fully illuminated glow-stick person doing the breaststroke. After twenty minutes the cold finally started to set in, and it was time to return to warmth brought by beer and heat of the cabins.
The next morning was as spectacular. Ashikita is a really beautiful coastal town, and there is an onsen at the top of a hill that looks over the channel. The onsen has a large panel of glass that offers a spectacular view, and there was a group of about 10 seahawks dive bombing out in front, trying to rob eachother of whatever they were eating. So, as we soaked and let the deep heat cleanse us of our weariness and hangovers, we were further invigorated by a perfect sunny/partly cloudy day and our airborne entertainment.
Being in the mountains, I really miss the sea. All of the trips that I have been on to the coast have been great, not just good. I am ready for another beach vacation right about now, as I contemplate the congealed bottle of olive oil. This weekend, I think thats where I will spend it.

Top 8 Burgers:

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1. Chorizo Bacon Avocado Teriyaki Cheese Burger- home-made, thus perfection (note- there is NO chorizo in Kumamoto)
2. Double tri-tip cheese burger- eaten after bungee jumping with Kohei in the LBC. The juciest, most delicious pure-beef burger ever. EVER!!!
3. Double Kingburger with everything on it and all add-ons: cheese, bacon, chili, ranch dressing, and an egg. While eating one of these, you can actually feel yourself getting fatter- Fat Burger, Los Angeles
4. Masa's Deluxe- Masa's Diner, Kumamoto City.
5. Dick's Deluxe- This company is pretty cool because they help out their workers with their college tuition, according to Mika. Dick's Burgers, Seattle
6. Double Double with Cheese and Grilled Onions "animal style"- In-N-Out (btw, whoever is using the In-N-Out sign in Japan for the Joyfull clone restaraunts should be repeatedly kicked in the nuts, several times a day. Sick bastard!!!)
7. Tommy's cheeseburger with chili fries - Fountain Valley, Ca. Straight up arterial schlerosis.
8. Teriyaki avocado bacon cheese burger- Fuji Burger, Huntington Beach, Ca. This place reminds me of Hawaii, like the Loft, but more of that greasy authenticity.

My Kumamoto Big Kahuna Burger

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MASA'S SUPER-DELUXE

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This burger was two huge patties of real beef (no pork, breadcrumbs, or any other bullshit),cheddar cheese, bacon, tomato, onion, lettuce, mayonnaise, mustard, and ketchup on a grilled bun. It was IMPOSSIBLE to take a real bite out of this burger, so I had to split it in half and eat it openfaced. It was one badass burger.

I had just about lost all hope of finding a good burger in Kumamoto City, until last Thursday. I went out with a couple of friends after our JET meeting to Masa's Diner. The diner kicked ass for several reasons:
1. Good food- the Super-Deluxe was too big for me to finish, and I was starving! In addition, they have locomoco, steak fries, onion rings, chili dogs, and many other truly American classics to try. Bonus for Heinz 57 in glass bottles at every table.
2. Beer from the WC
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Good drinks- this place has Red Hook ESB and Steelhead(reminiscent of Sierra Nevada Ale) beer. It also has Dr. Pepper and Dad's rootbeer, both of which are hard to find in Kyushu.
3. Its big. It really is. There is room to walk around and to stretch after a gut-busting meal.
4. The staff. The owner, Masa, is really tall for a Japanese man, and he speaks English. This man knows good food. Also, the waitresses are cute, although they do not speak English.

So if you are in Kumamoto and you are tired of eating fish, raw horse, grilled pig intestine, lotus root stuffed with spicy mustard, nato, and all of that other stuff, drop in on Masa's and you will not be disappointed. (Tel 096-352-3118)
If you want good Mexican go to Plaza del Sol (they have real Mexican cooks who have the ganas to make excellent comida).

If you are in southern Aso, check out the Strong Boss. They make a decent burger, and other good food, but the real reason to go is for the atmosphere. Its a biker bar the way you would imagine one to be, in Disneyland. There are no fights and no drugs, and the patrons of the bar won't make you dance to "Tequila" on the table if you knock over their bikes (but they would probably kick your ass as you pointed to the "no fighting" sign).

But remember to enjoy the food that Kyushu is best at making:
Tonkotsu Ramen
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D251 On Disability

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My keitai camera is now useless. Althought it can sense light, the picture is scrambled and the colors are only shades of black, white, purple, and green. It looks like a super-complex sideways histogram monitoring, in realtime, a system in flux. So I will be posting all of the remaining pictures later on this week, as a tribute to this camera. It was a great toy while it lasted...
I guess that I will now be limited to talking, emailing, browsing, keeping phone numbers, keeping a schedule, serving as a flashlight, and waking me up every morning. The modern keitai is truly a badass social swiss army knife.

UPDATE:

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(pic of Mark Fingerhut)

It seems that my camera works sorta well in dim lighting. It has been transmogrified into a night vision camera, but how I do not know... Strange.

Views On Education

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I think that education is fascinating. I always have. When I was in class with a burnt out teacher I often thought: I can do a better job than this! I can remember that I frequently got in trouble in science related classes, either for screwing around (usually with the bunsen burner or acids and bases) or not paying attention. Mr. Melstrom in sixth grade always tried to bust me for this by asking me questions the hardest and most technical questions about his lessons which I had stopped listening to, and he NEVER stumped me except when he asked me to parrot back what he had been lecturing us on when I was talking. This resulted in multiple detentions instead of meeting the challenge of stepping up the material of the class and re-engineering his ineffective teaching style. Yes, I often reflected on how I could be a better teacher than him when I sat, waiting for the hour after school doing nothing to pass. Well, now I get to test all of my theories every day at work. I am always thinking:
How can I help my kids think critically?
How can I teach them to try and see things from different perspectives?
How can I maintain their interest?
How can I work together with the JTE to accomplish both of our goals?
How can I help my kids to be creative and to express their honest opinions?
How can I make my kids confident?
What tools can I give my students so that they will be able to pursue what they want to learn about outside of class?
How can I develop them to their fullest potential?
How can we have fun together?
And the list goes on. I think about this every day, and I often gain inspiration outside of the classroom. I also do research on education and teaching methods in my free time. I am not the best teacher, but I am constantly trying to improve with the ultimate goal of helping my kids however I can. I am trying to be like every teacher that ever inspired me, like every teacher who made the extra effort for my class, like every teacher who made learning interesting and fun.
It makes me angry to hear other JETs complain that they have nothing to do at work, and that they are bored. What a f*cking cop out... All of these lazy gaijin can seem to do is to complain about the same old shit. They are letting down their kids bigtime. If they would take the time to set goals in class, make continued efforts to coordinate lessons with their JTEs (I know that this can be hard, but if you stop trying after someone or something discourages you, you are a quitter!!!), and constantly analyze the lessons that they had taught, trying to think of ways to bring out the full potential of their kids, then they would be helping everyone. God forbid you do some research on your own! Or spend your own money to invest in books, or rewards for students who do a wonderful job! Its time for you to start thinking about your kids. If you sit on your ass, little Hiro will become yet another apathetic English-fearing run of the mill Japanese student. Invest the time, and help these kids! If you can't do this do everyone a big favor and quit! After all, you must have at least some qualifications that can get you some money with some other job that better suits your needs!
That being said, to begin your repentance you can start playing games in class and put some thought into your lessons. Below are a few games and resources that I have compiled, to help you reform:

Interactive Classroom Games And Other Resources
The Heist
A lesson on directions is great because it is useful, and only takes minutes to review, lending itself to numerous interactive games. If the students ever go abroad, they will be able to find their way around in English speaking countries because they can understand directions, or maybe they will be able to help a lost gaijin find their way around in Japan. It can be reinforced with other games like scavenger hunts, or by making blindfolded students navigate through a course (to reach various waypoints) and timed.
English skills practiced: Giving and receiving directions, orientation and motor skills.
Equipment needed: A large map, a car magnet, and various other magnets of your choice, a set of smaller maps and directions for every student.
Directions: Break people into groups of three, or any group number divisible by three. One person is a robber, one is a witness, and one is the police officer. Have the police officer leave the room or close their eyes, and instruct the robber to pick a place to rob, and a place to hide with the witness watching. Once this is settled, place the cop car at the scene of the crime, and instuct the witness to give directions to the police officer leading to the hide out. Time how long it takes to complete this task, and have different teams compete against eachother. To make this more difficult, you can pick a place to stash the money, and a different safehouse for the robbers to hide in.

Gesture Racing Game
English skills practiced: Non-verbal communication (gestures), vocabulary review.
(To learn how gestures help in learning a foreign language, you can look here: http://www.medianet-ny.com/research.htm, and search Google for many other interesting studies.)
Directions: Divide your class into two or more teams and have them face the back of the classroom, form a single file line, and sit down. Then tell the first student from each group a word (such as monkey, chicken, and fish). After you say ?go? the student must convey the meaning of the word through gestures to the next student. The student at the end of the line fastest to give a correct answer scores a point for their team. After a match have the students switch places within the same team.

Kanji Drawing Lesson
English skills practiced: listening to directions, drawing, studying the English meaning of kanji
Materials: Paper and pencil
Directions: Teach your class shapes, adjectives, and directions such as:
Line, straight, curved, perpendicular, vertical, horizontal, square, rectangle, long, short, center, up, down, left, right, etc?
Draw a straight line, Draw a curved line, Make a Circle.
Use these directions and words, directing them to draw a kanji, for example:
Draw a vertical line. Draw a horizontal line through the middle of the vertical line. What number is this: It?s ten (ju).

Basketball Games (from The Ultimate Playground & Recess Game Book, by Guy Bailey, p. 38):
Around The World
English skills practiced: Geography, questions and answers, TPS, reading
Materials: Flags, World map (to match the flags to), basketball
Directions: The goal of this game is to make baskets from ten (or however many you want to use) spots in a semicircular pattern around the goal. I play this game using two or more teams using different baskets to compete against each other. The player chosen to shoot first shoots from spot #1 (at the base of the key). If the shot is good, he moves up to the next spot. If he misses, the next player then gets a turn at shooting. Play continues with each player shooting from the current spot.
The first team that first successfully makes all the shots wins.
In this lesson, you can teach about foreign cultures and customs very easily, while practicing questions and answers, or it can just be used to learn the names of different countries. Have the people get into a couple of groups (at different courts) and set up a key. At each spot, I place the flag of a foreign country. The whole team asks the shooter a question about the country (for example, What animal is from Australia?), and then the shooter must answer (example: A kangaroo.) before they can shoot.

Horse
English skills practiced: spelling, Total Physical Response(TPR) type learning, speaking
(to learn more about TPR, check this website: or Search Google for Total Physical Response)
Equipment needed: Basketball
Directions: This game is best played with groups ranging in size from 2 to 6 players, but can be played with more. The game begins when the first player takes a shot from anywhere on the court. If the ball goes in, the second player must make the same shot from the same spot. If the second shooter misses, then he is assigned a letter ?H?. If he makes it, no letter is given, and the third shooter must make the same shot. Whenever a shooter misses a shot, the next shooter gets a chance to make a shot which must be duplicated. As the players make and miss baskets, the opportunity of the first shot will pass quite frequently between all of the players. The letters H-O-R-S-E are assigned to players that miss shots that must be duplicated. Once a person gets all 5 letters they lose but I let them keep playing to maintain interest. You can substitute any word you like instead of ?HORSE? to review vocabulary.

Other resources to explore:
To find ANYTHING on the web do a Google search: http://www.google.com
Basketball Games were modified from: The Ultimate Playground & Recess Game Book, by Guy Bailey
Kip Cates? Global Issues in Language Education Newsletter. For a sample newsletter, contact him at kcates@fed.tottori-u.ac.jp
Innovative Approaches To Early Childhood Education (The Reggio Emilia Method)
I highly recommend researching Active Learning , if you want some excellent ideas on teaching techniques that are tried and true.


Break from the norm and be an inspiration to them, not another disappointment.

Finding Me

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It seems that a couple of years ago I did some class work while attending UCSB that ended up contributing to this website, but I don't remember doing anything special. I sure as hell know that Brian didn't either!
Holy crap, I don't remember compiling this!
I am also currently listed on this page.
But these pages are all way down the list on a Google search of "Adam Yoshida".
However, the second highest ranked page is none other than Justin's.

Survey Results

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In case you were curious, this is what I have been working hard on for the past few weeks in conceptualization, development, collection, processing, and articulation of my survey and the resulting feedback. I was chosen to give a presentation on the relationships between JTEs (Japanese Teachers of English) and ALTs (Assistant Language Teachers), and to distribute the information to the other four presenters who are giving the same lecture at the same time as me this Thursday. I am pretty proud because this work is the result of my efforts, with a little help from my P.A., Brenna Dorrance.
I was happy to learn that most of the ALTs seem to be effectively teaching English, and that there was not too much bitching. Unfortunately the JTEs lived up to my expectations by not participating or by not stating what they really felt on the survey. Where does all of that pent up frustration go? Oh yeah, it goes to the Snack, and the next day your forget about it because you are being scolded by your wife for blowing all of your money on "pachinko"...
I am gonna put the smack down on everyone in my presentation, because everyone needs a solid kick to the pants.
The most common complaint by ALTs was that the JTEs teach us the lesson plans ten minutes before class we are frequently given only the time spent walking from the office to the classroom to come up with an idea to make the lesson interesting, so I am going to switch the tables by giving the JTEs the task of using actual pages from our boring textbooks and give them five minutes per group of four to come up with good ideas for a lesson to present in front of 70 something people. I will randomly pick some victims, to maintain an atmosphere of quiet terror (JTEs) and smug satisfaction (ALTs). Haha, I am giving the gift of empathy by making everyone suffer together!
But to bitch-slap the gaijin teachers, I have a different plan. A common JTE complaint is that they feel uncomfortable talking with foreigners in a non-native language like English, and that they want to talk more but don't know how. So, I am going to give a randomly picked gaijin who doesn't know too much Japanese, a problem such as:
"My kids are always giving me kanchos (a kancho, for ye who don't know, is a term describing some dirty kung-fu. Basically you clasp your hands and extend your index fingers, and ram them into someone's asshole. Kids generally like to do this to gaijin from nursery school and in some cases until middle school. I have even seen a co-worker do it to a waitress when he was really drunk. Many kids have suffered great pain learning that Adam don't play that! The Japanese can just be plain sick sometimes), and I usually don't mind, but I have hemmorhoids. How can I make them stop without resorting to the use of a baseball bat to mitigate this problem?" and I will instruct them to use only Japanese or gestures to convey this meaning to the room.
Hell, I figure if I have to work, so do the members of the audience! Hopefully this presentation will go off well, and I think it will because it is an interesting topic. I will know that I have done a good job if someone has a mental breakdown during my workshop, heh!

Anyways, if you like, take a look below to get a glimpse into the minds of a cross section of the JET community in Kumamoto, Japan.

ALT and JTE Relations: A Litmus Test (Survey Results):
16 ALTs from Kumamoto participated in this survey, and were allowed to pick more than one choice. A Japanese version of The same questionnaire was sent out to JTEs, but their contents are not covered here..

1.In your classroom, which choice best describes your relationship
with your JTE?
a. The JTE is the leader, who gives you orders to be followed. (8 votes)
b. We have a symbiotic relationship. Together we form Voltron! (6 votes)
c. You are in charge of the class, and the JTE plays the part of Robin to your Batman. (5 votes)
d. Other- The ALT is in charge of the classroom (2 votes)

1.1.How would you describe your ideal role as ALT in the classroom? What duties do you think that you should perform?
The ideal ALT should:
*Work in collaboration. Both should be jointly responsible for the planning, content, presentation, and assessment of a lesson. They should feel free to bounce ideas off of each other.
*Cooperate with the JTE in setting goals and discussing problems.
*Support the JTE in working toward collaborative goals, including repetition drills, grammar points, and key sentences, however mundane they may seem to us.
*Become friends with the students, and be energetic in class to motivate them.
*Share 50/50 responsibility for the class including but not limited to research and Prepare useful class materials, and make decisions together.
*Frequently use activities and games to make learning (English) fun.
*Help with correcting tests and homework, or any other class related activities, no matter how small.
*Try out new ideas in class, and not just rely on the textbook for teaching material.

1.2.How would you describe the ideal JTE? What should they do in order to make teaching English fun and effective?
The ideal JTE should:
*Help the ALT to know what is going on in the school, in class, in the lessons, and between the students, since it is difficult for ALTs to know everything that is happening..
*Use other sources than just the textbook to help teach grammar and other parts of the lesson.
*Enjoy teaching children, and use a variety of teaching methods that include aural, oral, written, viewing, hands on, and other interactive methods or activities.
*Not be afraid to make mistakes and to express their true feelings and opinions.
*not be scared of the ALT and not hesitate to talk to ALTs. Make an effort to communicate no matter what.
*Be a teammate who shares responsibility, and trust the ALT as a professional (but this trust must be earned).
*Be a person who is open to experimenting with new games and approaches to teaching the class.
*Play more games in class, and allow the ALT to introduce new games and ideas.
*Effectively teach useful or necessary lesson topics and grammar points.
*Help the ALT build stronger relationships with the kids, because they see the kids all the time.
*Reinforce what the ALT is teaching, and not looking out the window or looking bored when they are speaking (this should be reciprocated!).
*Be a person who is passionate about teaching and English, who inspires students through their actions, not just their words.
*Make time to discuss and prepare for the class on a regular basis, even if they are really busy, in order to make the lesson more effective, complete, and fun.
*Encourage students to use English as much as possible, and continues to challenge the students to their full potential.
*Hopefully be open to becoming a friend.
*Take a more active role in class, and not just watch.

1.3.Do you want a more active role, and how so?
Many people said they were fine with their roles in class already, but some common responses were:
I want to:
Plan, set goals, come up with unorthodox lessons, use more communicative activities, be allowed to do even ?mundane? tasks such as making copies or grading homework, experiment in class with new material and teaching methods or make modifications to the lessons.

1.4.As a team, what are you trying to accomplish in class (What are your ultimate goals and aspirations)?
Many people expressed that they didn?t feel part of a team, and that they were unable to develop goals as a consequence, but there were a number of suggestions:
As a team, our goal is to:
*To help students relax in class, get them moving around, and encouraging participation while having a good time.
*To get students to use English as much as possible and even when they are not in class.
*To have students who are not afraid to speak English, but better yet, to help students become confident speakers of English who are not afraid to make mistakes.
*To get through the material in time. To maintain the scheduled curriculum in order to get them into high school. To learn the textbook vocabulary and target sentences.
*Be able to get students to express their true opinions and feelings.
*To get them to enjoy English and develop a positive view of it.
*Getting the students interested in foreign culture and countries.
*To use English as a tool to consider everyday life situations through conversation and role-playing.
*To expose students minds to global issues, views, problems, and solutions.

2.How well do you get along with your JTE?
a. Stupendously, I want to marry him/her! (7 votes)
b. We have a good relationship. (16 votes)
c. O.K., things could be worse, but they could also be better. (10 votes)
d. Bad. I have trouble communicating with them. (3 votes)

2.1.How can your relationship be improved?
Some people said that their relationships are already really good. Here are some other comments:
*Communicating with each other (notice I didn?t say ?speaking English to each other?)
*Finding time to talk about goals for the class, to evaluate and plan lessons, and to improve the abilities of the students. Meeting face to face with each other more often.
*Actually team teaching, instead of one member teaching and the other watching.
*To have the JTE use the ALT as a resource of English information.
*To treat each other as professionals, with mutual respect and hopefully friendliness and understanding.
*To try to see things from the your partner?s perspective.

2.2.How often do you talk with your JTE?
The answers ranged from never to all the time, but how often you talk with your JTE is a terrific indicator of the health of the relationship. As you would expect to find, those people who talk to their JTE on a frequent basis tend to have fewer problems and complaints.

2.3.How often do you go to their school? Does this affect your relationship?
More time spent with your co-teacher + more communication = a better relationship.

2.4.If you only visit a school once in a while, how do you get the most bang for your buck out of your seldom appearances?
This question did not apply to some people, and others had never thought about it at all.
You should:
*Make the lessons really fun and stimulating, to create motivation and an incentive for the students to learn and remember English.
*Keep the lessons focused on being as interactive as possible and stress speaking and other communication.
*Plan and produce huge lessons, since some people have a lot of free time to conceptualize, build, and implement them.
*Be friendly, don?t get upset about little things, and be understanding.

3. How would you describe your participation in class?
a. I am always doing something, whether it be observing the students, giving one on one help, or talking. (11 votes)
b. I do things occasionally, and feel useful most of the time. (5 votes)
c. I feel that I could be utilized more effectively, but am trying to think of how. (3 votes)
d. I am barely used at all, and when I do speak it is in the manner of a tape recorder. (3 votes)

3.1.How can you be better utilized? How can you improve your effectiveness in the classroom?
Give the ALT more time to help plan the lesson, and ask for their ideas in order to make the lesson special for the kids.
When the ALT is teaching focus the lessons on what they are the best at doing, which is usually speaking, providing fresh ideas, teaching about culture, etc?
Involve them in more collaboration in any activity, with the goal of helping the kids.
Let the ALT give directions in class without the JTE translating right away.

4. Which would best describe the level of Japanese/English used in your classroom?
a. We have created a classroom that immerses our students in English. Japanese is only used when necessary. (4 votes)
b. Japanese is used a little more than necessary, but English is used frequently and effectively. (10 votes)
c. Japanese is used in many unnecessary situations. English should be used much more. (7 votes)

4.1.What are some steps you have taken or that you think you can take to use English as much as possible in your class?
*Both teachers use English as much as possible, using Japanese only when it is really necessary, especially for every day conversation and classroom commands.
*Create an environment in which students are not afraid to make mistakes, and which helps them to gain confidence to express themselves. Get them to say when they don?t understand.
*Have the ALT explain everything in English, and only have the JTE explain in Japanese when all else fails, or because of other problems (such as time constraints, immediate danger, etc?).
*Speak to the kids inside and outside of class in English.
*Teach English through the contexts of foreign countries, cultures, and world issues.
*Play (appropriate) music during the class during non-active activities, such as reading or writing.
*Work together as a team.
*Focus on verbal practice as much as possible to get the kids talking.

5. How much planning and preparation do you do for your class?
a. All or almost all of it. (6 votes)
b. Some of it. I plan together with my JTE. (6 votes)
c. A little of it. My feedback and ideas are valued and considered by my JTE, but more for proof reading and supplementing a lesson than co-planning it. (3 votes)
d. None at all. (5 votes)

5.1.Do you want a more active role in lesson planning and teaching? (Note: many people said ?no?)
a. Yes, I want to actively design and orchestrate lesson plans. (1 votes)
b. I want to plan lessons more. (2 votes)
c. I want to teach more. (1 votes)
d. I want to have a more active role in planning and teaching. (3 votes)

6.Please check or describe some problems you have encountered with your JTE:
a. Like Ma Bell, I got the ill communication. You don?t talk to each other, other than what is absolutely necessary to accomplish the bare requirements. (3 votes)
b. My JTE doesn?t like me. (1 vote)
c. My JTE is scared of me. (2 votes)
d. My JTE tells me the lesson plan only seconds before we teach it. (8 votes)
e. My JTE give me too much work to do. (1 vote)
f. My JTE doesn?t give me too much work to do. (4 votes)
g. We have cultural misunderstandings. (4 votes)
h. I tell my JTE the lesson plan only seconds before we teach it (1 vote)

6.1.Please address any other problems or concerns with regard to your JTE/ALT relationship.
*The lessons should focus on challenging the students in order to help them develop their abilities to their fullest potential.
*The emphasis should stress more learning and less teaching. (Note: If you are interested in this method, please research ?Student Initiated Learning/Student Centered Learning?)
*Many students expect entertainment, games, cuddling from their ALT all the time- is this realistic?
*We don?t drink together enough (Best complaint, hands down!).
*Because the school I work at is so small, I am afraid that if I confront my JTE with our problems that my situation is likely to become very very bad.
*My JTEs don?t want any responsibility for class, and prefer to watch from the back of the class.
*My JTE doesn?t like ALTs (in general), and other JTEs don?t know how to use me in class.
*Don?t be over critical of small mistakes. Be understanding, and I will reciprocate.

7.Who plays the role of disciplinarian in the classroom when things
get out of hand?
a. We both do. We put the smack down tag-team style when necessary. (4 votes)
b. My JTE handles all of the discipline. I am more like the ?good cop?. (10 votes)
c. I handle almost all of the discipline. (1 vote)
d. My classroom is like a zoo. (5 vote)

8.What do you think of this? Who should discipline the students?
a. It is the job of the JTE only. I am just there to supplement English teaching.(6 vote)
b. It is both of our jobs. We should present a united front to face our challenges.(10 vote)
c. It is my job. My JTE doesn?t do it, so I feel that I must.
d. Students should not be confined by rules. Down with the Man! (only 1 vote!!!)

9.Please describe what has worked for you and your JTE in helping to motivate your students to study English.
a. What are effective methods that you use with or without your JTE in teaching English?
The most important is logical staging of lessons. Building on one topic or theme over a month or more to consolidate language points/ vocabulary.
Dividing the class into small groups and do pair work works well.
Making a fun environment by using silly topics and activities works well.
Discussing Pop-culture and teenage lifestyles in foreign countries or from their perspectives is a good way to get and hold the kids' attention.
Using games, repetition, using rewards or incentives is good for motivation.

b. What games/lessons/activities continue to work well in class?
Material should be changed frequently or it loses its appeal.
?smart mouth?, shiritori, JTE and ALT skits, bingo, team games, anything that involves competition, music, and time limits, Karuta, International material.
Everyday or exotic contexts such as detective games, newspaper interviews, shopping, directions, parties, etc?
Bulletin board with quizzes, passport point cards (stamped when the students speak English).
Class diaries. Two students take the diary each week and contribute something in words, with pictures optional. The ALT and JTE writes back each time.

c. Do you have any extracurricular activities that work well outside of class?
Eat lunch with the students and join in a sport or other extracurricular club, spend recess with them.
Visits by other ALTs.
Cooking classes.

d. What English songs do your students like to sing?
Abba (Dancing Queen), Beetles, Carpenters, John Lennon, Tatu, Biggie Smalls, 50 cent, Bob Marley

10.Finally, what are some things that you think should be more carefully covered in class? How can your goals be realized?
a. Vocabulary (4 votes)
b. Pronunciation/ Phonics (14 votes)
c. Gestures and Body Language (4 votes)
d. Slang/Informal English (4 votes)
e. Useful Everyday English (14 votes)
f. Reading (2 votes)
g. Writing (1 votes)
h. Drama (3 votes)
i. World Cultures/ Global Issues (7 votes)
j. Computers and the Internet (6 votes)
k. Grammar (1 vote)

Mayo Otaku

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Generally, I like Japanese food. I am down with basashi (horse sashimi), liver sashimi, all traditional food, almost all seafood (except for mutsugoro and kujira, which are the Japanese for mudskipper and whale), and have even developed a positive view of grilled hormone (intestines).
However, sometimes things can get a little out of hand in Japan. Some Japanese people do not seem to grasp the concept that mayonnaise is a condiment best used to make specific dishes. You use mayonnaise to make tuna/egg/macaroni salads. You use mayonnaise in sandwitches or hamburgers. You use mayonnaise as a base to make sauces and dressings. Mayonnaise should only be used in these contexts.
Now, I know that some Europeans and people that have been to Europe like to dip their French (er...Freedom) fries in mayonnaise. I personally do not like dipping my fries this way, because it is disgusting.
But the way that mayonaisse is used in Japan is truly filthy.
At my hoikuens, the teachers like to use plain mayo as their salad dressing. Nastiness.
How would you like a seafood pizza with octopus, shrimp, and clams? What could possibly make this worse?
Mayonnaise
Hmmmm... Is your white rice a little too plain? Why not just drown it in mayonnaise to give it some fatty goodness!
Wow! A hot dog baked into the bun! But whats that white stuff liberally drizzled on top and baked into it?
Mayonnaisse
Mayonnaise doused omelet? Yes Brian, it does exist...

To be fair, Japanese use of mayonnaise can yield some delicious results, but finding complementary combinations between food and this particular condiment have been exhausted. Thats it. Stick to the tried and true recipies.

What do you think you are doing? Don't be creative with mayonnaise. Be creative with beer. Be creative with hot sauce or other sauces. Be creative by creating art. Be creative in how you express yourself. Don't be creative expressing yourself in mayonnaise... It is not bold, nor is it brave. It is stupid and obnoxious. No, not everything is relative, these words are the truth, so shut up already!

Living in Ubuyama can really be an inconvenience sometimes. If I were back at home on this Friday, I would be remembering the spectacular dinner that I had eaten yesterday, and would be helping myself to my third helping of leftover deep-fried turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, ham, salads (caesar, potato, macaroni, and maybe jello), mashed potatoes, chips and dip, vegetables, and a thick, rich gravy drowning everything.
Not that I can complain, though. I made a couple of Japanese friends panfried steaks and eggs topped with fried garlic, with grilled shiitake and onions in a redwine sauce, with rice and an italian salad! As it was the first time that they had eaten this stuff, it blew their minds (this is common when I cook, but it is usually either extremely good, or extremely bad- though this only happens on average two times a year). Not bad for a meal that took twenty minutes to prepare.
You may have been noticing that I have been talking an awful lot about food lately, and this reflects my state of mind. Japanese food is good, but during the holidays, I need to eat like an American! Yo, supersize that biznitch, and yes I will take the chocolate shake and an extra order of chicken strips and curly fries to start with... 22 days...

The Origins Of RocketBowl Saimin

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Nestled among my childhood memories of visiting Gardena and West L.A. is one of my Dad taking us to RocketBowl for a big, steaming bowl of Saimin. It is a simple soup that sort of bears a resemblance to ramen, but the noodles are wavy, and the broth is almost pho-ish, served with red ginger and green onions.
Along with waffle dogs, locomoco, various spam dishes, and plate lunches, I remember eating some good saimin on my last trip to Hawaii. Up until that point, I just assumed that Saimin was a hybrid food, the result of a fusion of Japanese, Chinese, and Hawaiian cooking, but I was wrong. I found out where Saimin (for all of you haolies and mainlanders, this is a noodle soup popular to Hawaii) originated: that place is Okinawa, and over there it is known as Okinawa Soba. Bringing things full circle, the Okinawans make their fried rice with Spam! Ah, those islanders, they know how to eat!

24 Days

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Until I am on my way back to California! Time is flying, but I want that Alerto's carne asada burrito now!
I wonder:

Will I have reverse culture shock when I get back?
Will Orange County smell foreign?
Will driving on the 405 seem like jumping to ludacris speed?
Will Justin or I drift onto the wrong side of the road?
Will watching television at home be more confusing than watching it in Japan?
Will I know of any of the current movies that are out?

Is the Seal Beach discount movie theatre still open?

How many friends or people I know will I randomly meet? How many of them have gotten married, have successful jobs, have recently gotten laid off or died?
How much will I spend at In n Out, Alertos, Pho 69, Tommy's, Jack in the Box, and all of the other places that I have been craving for over a year?

To what extent will English have changed? What words have faded from or been added to the lexicon? Will it sound "stupid"?

Does everyone now use a cellphone, as I have heard? How far behind are the phones compared to Japanese models?

What will the landscape of California look like? Is is all charred and brown, or has regrowth and regeneration started? What is it like having Arnold as the Governer? Are people still talking about him?

Will I feel more comfortable surrounded by strangers who speak English, or by strangers who speak Japanese? Will anyone tell me that my "English is really good!" and ask me why? Will anyone tell me that my Japanese is horrible and ask me why?

How fast does Brent's black Z go? How fast does my dad's Q and the Odessey go? How fast am I going in kilometers? How many pounds will I gain during the stay? How many will I lose immediately after coming back to Japan? How many of my kids will tell me that my face has become "really fat"?

These are just a few of the thoughts that come and go when I think about the trip. Time is zipping by, as work has been really busy, but I am ready. I am looking forward to wearing shorts and t shirts again, as I sit here typing, my fingers numbing from the cold.

Kuh..Kuh..Kuh...KkkCold!

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Yes, the temperature forecasts have once again plunged below 0 degrees (celcius), and the kotatsu is essentail to ward off frostbitten toes. I can see my breath in my house. But this is only the tip o the iceberg... I know that when I come back from Christmas break, I will need to start leaving my faucets running so that the pipes don't freeze this year. If my towel freezes again this year, I will post a pic of the stiff upside-down U, created from the towel freezing while hanging, that blew my mind last year. Once again, it is time for nabe, hot chocolate, tea, and anything hot.

Come to think of it, the nabe is astonishingly similar to butajiru, but the version that Justin taught to me adds:
beansprouts
kimchee base
ginger
and
chicken or pork

Try this stuff during a really cold night, and you will be thankful.

While I am posting recipies, here is another cold weather favorite:

Adam's French/Viet Beef Stew

This stew recipe is based on a beef stew that I had in Little Saigon while the Cruz and Yoshida parents met up for the first time in God knows how many years. My version kicks just as much ass!

Ingredients:
Lots of spare ribs, like 2 or more pounds
2 Carrots, cubed
2 Potatoes, cubed
Daikon, cubed
Onions, cubed
1 can of tomatoes, whole
tomato paste (thanks for reminding me Justin)
Bullion cubes and water/ beef or chicken broth
Red, red wine
Olive oil
Garlic
Cillantro
Salt, pepper, basil, your favorite spices

Side dishes:
Fraunch Bread, a baguette
Rice

Directions:
Season the spareribs(I prefer using Lawry's seasoned salt and garlic salt) and brown them in the pan with olive oil.

Pour in about two cups of wine, using this to dissolve the residue of the crisped spareribs. Add the vegetables, seasonings, and broth and bring to a simmer.

Let sit for about three hours, occasionally stirring, and adding spices and herbs to taste. Also, add more wine or broth to taste.

By the end of the three hours, the stew should be a nice reddish brown, with fine golden globules of goodness (fat) dancing on the surface of the stew. If the stew is not thick enough, add a mixture of flour dissolved in water, or some other starch.

Serve on a generous portion of rice or dip your baguette into it, and throw some chopped cilantro on top.

This is the best way to enjoy spareribs if you don't have access to an oven. Enjoy.

Am I missing anything?

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Click here to find out what robot you really are

Which Trainspotting Character Are You?
Click here to find out what size you really are
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very High
Level 7 (Violent)Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)High

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

Kindergarten Keikan

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Yoroku? Nashi! Musuko wakakata? Nashi! Yabakatta? So, Amerika! (American coffee the bandits explain, is ridiculously weak. Like a stolen piece of junk, it does not do anything for one).


Aitsu jibun o nani-sama da to omotte yagarun da? Taka ga eda hagi da ze. (Who the fuck does he think he is? He's nothing more than a two bit panty theif!)
Japanese complements of Peter Constantine

Today, I arrived at Hokubu Hoikuen (the Northern-Ubuyama pre-school), at 10:00, just as Nakano sensei discovered evidence of a breaking and entering. Someone had let themself in through the restroom window, leaving muddy footprints all over. All of the desk drawers were riffled through, but nothing was taken. The police were called and arrived at 11:00. They used an array of lights and dust to search for finger prints, and took an hour and a half to do a complete sweep. It would seem to be the same burglar who, last week on Monday, broke into Hokubu Sho (Northern-Ubuyama Elementary) and stole the kyoto-sensei's laptop and Fukuda sensei's digicam.
The search yeilded no leads.

The CSI dude on the right with nifty light, supervised by the Ichinomiya Police Seargeant. These dudes were total dicks when I tried to talk to them, but became friendly when the teachers told them I was a Nikkei Yonsei (4th gen. American).
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Point of entry.
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Inside close-up. The glass was punched out precisely next to the lock. This window is made of an opaque glass and thinner than the other windows.
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Outside close-up. Obviously the theif used tools to open the window, as a finger could not safely pass through the hole. Like a monkey using a twig to snag ant larvae.
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Footprint (next to my foot) outside the window. The robber has feet smaller than mine. Luckily for him, it was raining last night, and so any other footprints were washed away.
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It is a sad thing, when robbers try to rob nursery schools. What was the guy thinking? Hmmmm... That place must hold gallons of milk and a fortune's worth of cookies, not to mention the juice and crayons! And just think of all the toys... After this heist, its straight up naptime. Jackpot!

About half a year ago, someone stole some shirts out of the Superintendent's car, so it seems that petty theft is becoming more prevalent in our small village. All I know is that I have a big, sharp cleaver a few feet from my bed. On a separate note, I have no problem in implementing my version of Hammurabi's code on anyone foolish enough to try and break into my house.

Empty Metaphor

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I found this description of the Cosmic Buddha floating in the ether:

The truth of the cosmic order, which is contained in the relationships between the Cosmic Buddha and all his manifestations, cannot be known verbally.

So why bother to use mere text to describe it? Does this make sense to anyone? Also, the Cosmic Buddha has an elite posse, clique, cadre, crew, or whatever you would like to call his group of fellow Buddhas. Where are the other Buddhas and their respective blogs?

In the Diamond World, the Cosmic Buddha (Dainichi Nyorai in Japanese), sits in the center of assemblies of Buddhas arranged in a three by three square.

Does the excerpt below mean that his other pad was in fact, a uterus, and his pals are puppies of the same litter? No, the words mean nothing because the relations of the Cosmic Buddha cannot be explained with words.

The other world, the Womb World (Taizokai in Japanese, Garbhadhatu in Sanskrit), was the world of physical phenomenon. In this mandala, the Dainichi Nyorai sits in the middle in relationship to all his physical manifestations ranged in several courts radiating outward from him.

FUKUTOKU

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Kagura Oni

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Sexual Harassment Pandy

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Neko Bento

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The Oracle of Starbucks

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As far as I can tell this Oracle is 100 percent accurate.

Ka-Thunk... Ka-Thunk... Ka-Thunk...

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Ah, as long as we're on the subject of the good 'ol days, here is another memorable episode about roommate torture methods practiced and refined in the Sabado Tarde apartment. One day Steve went to soccer, and so we (which was usually me and Brian) seized an opportunity to pick on him. We
1. took all of his underwear, save one pair
2. soaked it in water
3. put it in the freezer
4. put a note that read "got underwear" in his empty drawer
5. waited
After two hours he came back exhausted. But instead of taking a shower, he went to go get something out of the freezer. His underwear, by now frozen into a solid cube, fell from the freezer with a THUD! Nothing needed to be said. He knew who did it, and he threw the frozen underwear at us. That mofo hurt, as it was pretty much a chunk of ice. But it was worth it! Steve took a shower, and threw his underwear in the dryer. He got more and more angry, and we laughed more and more, as the block went ka-thunk... ka-thunk... ka-thunk in the dryer. He should've been greatful that I had remembered to save him one pair of underwear, but for some reason he didn't find this act to be redeeming in the least. People can be so ungreatful!


As a post script, shizzolating this post yielded a decent re-write:

Ka-Thunk, know what I'm sayin'? .. Ka-Thunk, know what I'm sayin'? .. Ka-Thunk, know what I'm sayin'? ..

Ah, as long as we're on da subject of da gravy 'ol days, here is another memorable episode 'bout roommate torture methods practiced 'n refined in da Sabado Tarde apartment, know what I'm sayin'? One day Steve went soccer, 'n so we (which wuz usually me 'n Brian) seized an opportunity pick on tha dude's ass, know what I'm sayin'? We
1. took izzall of tha dude's underwear, save one pair
2. soaked that shiznit in H-2-Izzo
3. put that shiznit in da freezer
4. put a note that read "gots underwear" in tha dude's empty drawer
5. waited
After two hours tha dude came back exhausted, know what I'm sayin'? But instead of taking a shower, tha dude went go get something out of da freezer n' shit. His underwear, by now frozen into a solid cube, fell from da freezer wit a THUD! Nothing needed be be like, know what I'm sayin'? Tha dude knew who did that shiznit, 'n tha dude threw da frozen underwear at us." That mofo hurt, as that shiznit wuz pretty much a chunk of ice." But that shiznit wuz worth that shiznit! Steve took a shower, 'n threw tha dude's underwear in da dryer, know what I'm sayin'? Tha dude gots mo' 'n mo' angry, 'n we laughed mo' 'n mo', as da block went ka-thunk n' shit. .. ka-thunk, know what I'm sayin'? .. ka-thunk in da dryer." Tha dude should've been greatful that I had remembered save tha dude's ass one pair of underwear, but fo' some reason tha dude didn't find this act be redeeming in da least, know what I'm sayin'? Peeps can be so ungreatful!

My Japanese Teacher of English (JTE), Sato sensei, asks me to come up with stories that relate to the textbook often 5 minutes before we start class. This can be quite challenging because the text is super boring and whenever anyone looks at it you can literally see the glaze build up in their eyes.
Brian's comment made me remember this lesson, and I still feel the roadrash burning my face.
It was like this: The weather was perfect, so of course I had a midterm in an Anthropology course. While biking toward class, I saw Chris, so I pulled up next to him. He got this crazed look in his eyes, and it was understood that we would start racing. What ensued was not mutually understood. We got going at a pretty good speed, when I notice he is veering toward me and POW! He friggin side kicks me, and the next thing I knew I was sprawled out on the bike path in front of the Anthropology building, fellow bikers going around some poor jackass on the tarmac. Roadkill. But it was OK because luckily the right side of my face bore the full impact of the crash. Seeing red, I ignored his apologies, shook off the mental haze, and biked to class. Fucking Ben Hur motherfucker ass shit bitch! Ooooh, I would get payback! I was a minute late, and everyone looked at me, or rather they gawked at my abraised face, as I slipped into a vacant seat. I finished the test, and afterwards I went to the restroom to assess the damage. I had asphalt and dried black blood lodged in my scrapes, which I cleaned out at the apartment with lots of Q-tips and of course, hydrogen peroxide. It was only after I finished my 4 years at UCSB it dawned on me. Bikes are just not for some people, and by "some people" I mean "me".
My story blended seamlessly with that of the textbook, and the students actually paid attention and understood my English. Now if only I had a story to match every one of the the textbook's.

Best Drives In Kyushu

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1. Roppo Road(Miyazaki prefecture): This road was worth the hour and a half it took me to get there. It had everything. The drive started with a steep and windy climb, nothing especially spectacular as it climbed to the ridge of the mountains. Then as it started to traverse, the left side fell away in a steep drop. The white guardrails were badly mangled in places, and in other areas completely lacking. I would not be surprised to look over the edges and see twisted wreckage hundreds of meters down. The drive had plenty of gentle and not so gentle ridges, sharp turns, spectacular views, picnic areas, maps, wildlife, and obstacles. There were landslides and boulders on the road, which were fun to slalom around and reminded me of the Initial D episode in which Takumi successfully beats the "panda" Trueno on the guy's home course. Also, there was very very little traffic on this stretch by shooting the narrowed course right alongside. I must've only seen three trucks and three cars, and I never got stuck behind any slow drivers. I only got to drive this awesome road for an hour because I only had half a day off, and so I need to come back to fully experience it. Also, I found out where I can go snowboaring in Miyazaki, but most likely won't.

2. The Milk Road (North Aso Prefecture). This road is my favorite, but sits in the no. 2 spot because it gets too much traffic during the summer and fall. Tempermental, dangerous, and oftentimes solitary, this road never fails to surprise me. I know the turns very well, and so I can push my car to the limit, slingshotting out of the tight curves and getting from here to there in a breeze, if the traffic is light. It can be very dangerous because people like to park behind blind corners and stick out far into the narrow road, sheets of rain coming down so fast that windshield wipers have little effects and the resulting deep rivers flowing across the road causing you to hydroplane, the road freezes and is periodically covered with snow and ice, racers like to practice up there, some truck drivers like to drive the maximum limit and beyond, clouds drag across the ridge resulting in a thick fast moving fog that can cut visibility to 5 feet and can be very disorienting after several minutes, and the wealth of animals that like to dart out in front of your car including tanuki, rabbit, weasel, fox, and even dogs and cats.

3. The continuation of the Milk Road into Kikuchi Gorge (Kikuchi-Gun). Mountainous, running parallel, high above the river, and filled with dense folliage. Kikuchi Gorge is one of the most beautiful areas throughout Kyushu, and so the nature park draws bigtime traffic during holidays and weekends. Still a nice drive, especially in Fall when the leaves show their most vibrant colors.

4. The Kagoshima Expressway. Fast, straight, few cops and cameras: narcotic. After being deprived of speed, driving on the Kago Xpress can be dangerous.

5. The Ibusuki Skyline. Like the Aso Skyline (Milk Road), the Ibusuki Skyline offers a badass view of some stunning scenery and has some great twists and turns. Unlike Aso, it is well paved, used by many during the whole year, and costs money to drive. Still, it is worth the trip and the 800 or so yen. Seeing Kaimondake silouhetted against a red sky melts away any pent-up stress.

6. Nameless Road leading to Ubuyama's "Dream Bridge" (North Aso). This road is
a. new
b. wide
c. curvy
d. uphill, downhill, and level in places
e. unused
and
f. has "Danger: Cows" signs posted
It is a short drive, but is really really fun.

These are the Top 5 for now, but I will continue to post as I remember old favorites or discover new ones.

An Unanticipated Free Day

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I woke up this morning, short on time. Slapped some gel in the 'fro, pulled on a shirt and some slacks, and ran to school with the imprint of my pillow case's hem stitching running the entire length of my face. Ah, 8:00, Safe!
What's that?
No one is here, save Sakae Sensei? Lets look at today's schedule...
Hmmmm... yasumi (free day)? It happened again... "Um, do we have work today?"
"No, its a free day. Oh, didn't someone tell you?"

Wow, a free day. It didn't matter that no one told me about it, as I have become used to being out of the loop, and even expect it. Luckily this time it was a good surprise, other than the "Oh, by the way, we need you to work this Saturday, even though you told us of your snowboarding trip a month in advance" type.

So I hopped in the Civic, popped in the Underworld, and drove South into Miyazaki. There I found the best driving road I have yet driven in Japan.
I also found a cool temple, learned about Miyazaki's history, and happened upon an unspoiled waterfall. I dunno why but the every local waterfall that I know of has been tampered with to some degree, whether it be constructing a manmade reservoir below it, building a viewing platform right in front, or adding some other items that take away from the natural beauty of it. THis waterfall could only be viewed from a distance, a very very far distance, from the top of a cliff.

Miyazaki city boasts a beautiful beach that was constructed indoors, with a bright blue cloud dotted sky painted inside the dome, pristine white sand, and a wave machine that provides perfect curls for only their staff of pros to ride. Everything looks so realistic, which is really stupid because there is a perfect beach complete with waves, sand, and a perfect climate 5 minutes away from the indoor one, which charges about 4000 yen (bout 40 bucks) for admission. More amazing, people actually go to this place even when the weather is great outside.

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When I first needed a haircut, I first thought "Hmmmm... It should be pretty easy to get a good haircut in Japan, seeing as these people cut hair just like mine on an every day basis". It sounded like a sure thing. So I went into a barbershop in downtown Kumamoto, where the barbers are used to giving other styles of cut other than "bowl".
What a dumbass! It was my own damn fault. If I had taken a look around, I would have noticed that everyone has bleached shaggy haircuts. Or shaved heads. Or dreadlocks (cool, but too high maintainance, and would take me too long to grow out my hair). Or a bowl cut. Or a bad comb over. Or a salaryman doo. Or they simply have their mother/wife/girlfriend/daughter cut it.
So I walked in with my Japanese-English dictionary and made crude specifications for my haircut. This turned out as a crew cut, despite my protests during the sesh, and took about one hour to complete, costing 4000 yen.
And even after bringing pictures for the "stylists" to look at, they couldn't reproduce them, and I gave myself better haricuts using some clippers and two mirrors. What should I have done?
The answer, as I discovered, is to ask the recommendation of the "stylist", after showing them the picture. This is like a pat on the back, and makes them feel good. By asking for their expert opinion, their training and wisdom is validated, putting them the state of mind that you want them in while giving you a cut. And that is how I got the haircut I wanted from someone other than myself over here. However, be advised. I tried that same thing in Thailand and got a bad haircut. Hey, 50/50 is infinetely better than 100 percent pure disappointment.

Pig Soup

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Was the heinous name that was used by one of the teachers to describe lunch. Nah, what butajiru (to be clear, this is similar to dangojiru, but tastes better in my opinion. A dango is a dumpling for all of you people who want to know.) really translates is something more like miso stew with pork. This stuff so good after a 10K run that I ate 3 bowls of it, and still want more.
It is also really easy to make. I will run you through it.
1. Chop all of the following into bite size portions:
Fresh Shiitake mushrooms (dry Shiitake tastes rank compared to the fresh shit!), daikon (giant Japanese radish), carrots, yamaimo (Japanese Mountain Potato. If I may digress, the texture of this potato when grated into a mush is just nasty. This is not passing judgement, it is the unfiltered truth. And to those of you who happen to like this texture: you are all a bunch of sick people who must've delighted in swallowing those big nasty loogies you would cough up when you had a cold. However, when you cook it, it firms up like a proper potatoe and has a citrusy tang to it), thinly sliced pork, hakusui (a bitter-ish form of napa, or japanese cabbage), tofu (bean curd. Damn, calling it bean curd really makes it sound like nasty shit!), konyaku (a jelly-like japanese substance that is opaque, looks purplish-grey, and has black specks. Not really necessary, but adds authenticity), and mochi (rice cakes). Some like to add kabocha (Japanese pumpkin) or satsuma imo (sweet potato), but I think that these ingredients meddle with the texture and flavor of the soup.
2. Make some miso soup. Light miso is best used to bring out the natural flavors of the shiznit. Bring to a boil.
3. Add the ingredients in the proporions which you like the best. I like to add everything in equal proportions, but do whatever you like. Simmer down (control your temper, simmer down, the battle's gettin hotta).
4. After about 30 minutes, pour yourself a bowl. Add finely chopped green onions to top it off, and you have yourself some propah Inaka Ryouri.

Optional: If you were Justin (and you just might be) you would probably add kimchee or kimchee base to make it spicier. If you were my Dad, you would put some protein powder in it. Then you would try deep frying it so that the oil that you used to deep fry the turkey would not "go to waste".

If you don't like pork, you can add chicken, and while it still tastes good, I think it tastes the absolute best with pork. I bet that some of the people out here have added rabbit, bear, wild boar, and the local venemous snake to make, respectively, usagijiru, kumajiru, inoshishijiru, and mamushijiru. I bet they all taste pretty good.

To be fully appreciated, butajiru should be eaten on bitter cold evenings in the mountains in one's straw hut during a blizzard, only after successfully fending off wild bears and wolves with nothing but the crazed look in your eyes, followed by some green tea ice cream for dessert.

Mountain Tanuki

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Unlike the racoon dogs that live on Justin's island, ours have a diffr'n set 'o priorities.

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We like awr Tawnookeys cuz theyyur wild boozers and bring their own sake jugs with them, nawt 'cause they add more sausage to the hootenanny.

Not Helpin' The Cause

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I just know that this animation was made with a couple of geeky E.S. majors (is this repetitive?) from UCSB. Funny, I now feel like eating some milkfed veal stuffed with foiegras.

In a related note,maybe I don't need to go to Korea, maybe I only need to go to Panda Express to eat dog.

Oolong Sky

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Shanghai was a great place, but the smog was thick, thicker than that of L.A., reminiscent of the muddy contents of the erlenmeyer flask that my high school chemistry teacher used to demonstrate how particles stay suspended in colloids (like jello or anything that you add to an agar/water mixture). Anyhow, this pic was snapped from the D251 from the window of our aging Boeing 737, despite the soul-less warnings of the multilingual flight attendants. You can actually see the inversion layer (the clear blue part) smashing down all of that CO, CO2, NOX, ozone, hydrocarbons, and all of that other shit onto the city. There is one cool thing about thick dense brown smog in the cityscape- it filters the light, creating bad-ass blood-red sunsets, like the stylized umeboshi depicted on the Japanese flag.
Speaking of which, why do Japanese people think of the Sun as being either red or orange in color, and the moon as yellow? When you look at the sun, it is a burning brightness that is best described most of the time as white or yellow. The moon, is clearly white! I think this is a good example of a cultural nam-shub of Japan.

Back to the mountains

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Well, everyone is fine- no one got the bends or nitrogen narcosis or even stung by a jellyfish. There wasn't really any opportunity to get hurt, and you really didn't need to even be in good shape to participate. I shoulda known that the dive would be a joke, but it just didn't occur to me.
Can you believe that I spent three days in Okinawa and NEVER got to go to the beach. I saw it from a distance a couple of times, emerald green waters with coral breaking the calm surface. The weather was perfect, with beautiful clouds and a gentle breeze. Nah, instead I spent my time shopping for omiyage, drinking, and eating Japanese food.
Don't get me wrong, I am very greatful that I got to hang out with the firemen of Ubuyama, but it wasn't what I expected.
So diving was like this: We had 3 hours dedicated on the schedule. The first hour was a crash super-simplified course in the dangers of touching stonefish, sea snakes, sea urchins, jellyfish, and other marine animals. Next was an easy explanation of the regulator and the mask (talk about tanks, BCs, wetsuits, depth and pressure meter, and other equipment was completely omitted). All of this took about an hour. Next we went to the dive spot. We were seperated into 3 groups of 4, and my group went last.
I knew the spot that we hit up (Manza Beach) was a great place because I had a long talk with a local Marine and an Okinawan girl who had just come back from a dive. We talked at length (as the others were getting basic training, which took up about 45 minutes) about diving, marine invertibrates, and Okinawan culture. This turned out to be the highlight of the dive, as I got educated about feeding habits of predatory sea snails, good and bad dive spots, Yoneguni, and spearfishing on the islands (the local fishermen hate it when they see you doing it) and other cool places (such as hunting for stripers in the Colorado River)..
So I finally got in the water with my group, and it took everyone about 10 minutes to put on fins and masks. They practiced breathing under water with the respirator, clearing the mask of water, and clearing the respirator of water, and swimming which took another 30 minutes. Then we got to follow behind the instructor for another 10. We only swam at most 30 meters in no more than 20 feet of water at the very deepest.
During this whole time I was itching to go explore and find a real sea snake but had to stay with the group. Still, I was astounded by the level of biodiversity in the small pocket of water which we were confined to. I saw more species of fish, snails, and coral in ten minutes of exploration than I have in snorkeling around Oita, Amakusa, Ashikita, Saga, Kagoshima, Awaji-shima, and other various spots around Honshu cumulatively.
So now that I have a taste of Okinawa, I need to go back to actually experience it the real way. Next time I will pig out on American food, get a bitchin' tan while relaxing on the beach, and go diving for real! I will not go to snack bars or spend more than 30 minutes shopping for omiyage.

Ah, to be on an all expenses paid vacation (excluding ichi mon for something and incidentals, but hey its pretty darn cheap) with the men of the Ubuyama Shobodan (Fire Brigade, or as we Americans say Fire Department).
Right now we are in Naha, and as you can probably guess, I am in an internet cafe. Just before this we went out for a phat teppanyaki dinner complete with some excellent grilled shrimp (shrimp stew, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp sandwitch, barbecued shrimp, shrimp ice-cream, shrimp jello...), rare steak (I thought they only knew how to do well done in this country), vegetables, dessert, and beer. Okinawa is famous for a bitter melon know as Goya- it is bitter as hell, and only tastes O.K. with other food (like eggs and bacon) to mask it.

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Rare tenderloin- bloody steak tastes like heaven after all you've had for the past six months has been well done kwakisurpiniku. Oops...What I meant to say was well done kwakisurpipiku.

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This is the head of the giant shrimp. The teppan chick used two steel spatulas to squish it criss-cross style, and then used what looked like a concrete spreading tool to mash it into a "cracker" (read, well done shrimp brains, eyes, antannae, carapace, and other parts of the head which I now do not come to mind). It was actually pretty good if you were not thinking about brains while you ate it, but was still good even though I was indeed thinking about them.
This was followed up with pig intestine soup (hormone miso shiru) and sweet beans soaked in black sugar syrup topped with shaved ice.
Honestly, the whole dinner kicked major ass, and the 5000 yen tab was picked up for me! Makes the intestine soup that much more memorable.

Anyhow, after dinner, the guys (all married with kids) decided to go out to a snack bar (basically a place where you pay for young girls to talk to you. The good ones are pros at feigning interest in whatever you say and laughing at jokes that are not at all funny. What a shitty job!). I was offered the option of paying 4000 yen for all you can drink for 50 minutes with the girls, but graciously declined. Why should I pay money to have a conversation with someone who sees it as work? Why do people pay money to have one sided conversations? What do they get out of it? Many of them opt for "special treatment" later on, so why not just cut to the chase and save the pillow talk with someone who isn't really listening? I am really curious, but I don't think that I will ask anyone these questions on this particular trip.

The other reason why I didn't go just to drink and to hang with the boys is because we are diving tomorrow. Now, I'm not a professional, but diving is a very demanding and dangerous sport. These guys live in the mountains and are not really good at swimming or marine sports. Most of them are in relatively good shape from farming, but daikon picking skillz do not carry over to functioning under water. I am worried that these guys who have been drinking since 8 O'clock this morning are gonna be dehydrated tomorrow. Physical exertion and a hangover might prove to be a problem. Hopefully the dive master will be experienced and competent.

Anyhow, I am snapping away with the digicam and hopefully I will have some good ones to show when I return. Wish me luck.


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Diced Burglar With Wu Shu Sauce

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While reading Angry Asian Man's blog, I ran across this story. It really reminds me of Free Satpal Ram on ADF's Rafi's Revenge album. It is probably a bad idea to have a knife fight with an acupuncturist, especially the one known as "The Doctor." I think that he should be honored for taking care of the situation and sending a clear message. Don't FUCK with The Doctor, or he will shank your ass!

Halloween Pix

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Japanese Pumpkins are much harder than American ones. I ended up slicing through my thumbnail making this Jack-O-Lantern, but its all good. All everyone was asking was "so, when do we eat it?" and when I told them that we don't eat jack o lanterns after we carve them, they replied "Hmmmm... I think that I will eat it tomorrow.".
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Gave out about 20 bucks worth of candy this year. Its funny how well my students remember their English lessons when candy is at stake.

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China actually had good beer! Tiger, Tsingtao, and even some microbrews to boot! This .5 litre bottle cost something like 60 cents. However, drinks in the clubs and bars had prices comparable to those in Japan.

I wish I had more time in Shanghai. One full day and two days of travel to and from there were just not enough (we did have two full nights, though).

Things that didn't surprise me about Shanghai:
It's dirty. Most places smell like piss, that rotting essence of real Asian Markets and Chinatown, and cigarettes. Everyone hawks monster loogies and spit them out all over the place. At the end of the day I got black boogers of monster proportions.
McDonalds and KFCs were as abundant as in every other foreign country I have visited.
Many people spoke English, but appreciated the effort I went through to speak the little (read: aside from food, I know four words) Chinese that I could. It was like France in this respect, except the Chinese were forgiving if I spoke English.
There were many poor people begging on the street. It is so hard to ignore someone in distress, especially if they take their kids with them, and especially if those kids have congenital defects. Gives whole new meaning to the cliche "there are children starving in China, so eat your f**king broccoli muthafucka".
The Chinese merchants are ruthless and cunning when it comes to maximizing profit. I talked down a "legitimate" DVD set from 600 yuan to 100 (about 12 bucks), and I knew I was paying a little too much. Still, it does LOOK legit, and it cost very little. These people will physically detain you to keep you in their shop, and they are excellent actors.

Surprising things about Shanghai:
Chinese people think that I am Chinese, and they expect me to speak Chinese like a Chinese person.
It was hard to find good Chinese food, and easy to find good foreign foods.
I didn't hear anyone say "gweilo" and point as we passed (I understand why they didn't when I alone passed).
I ran into a lot of very nice Chinese people. I was expecting everyone to be rude, pushy, and loud but this turned out to be kinda wrong.
There were very few foreigners in China. Most that I saw during the day were between the ages of 50 to 70 and had European accents.
The city is HUGE, and there are more sky scrapers in one city than I ever imagined. And they continue being built at an astonishing rate.
The MagLev train is already complete. The bullet train is officially obsolete.
100% of the taxis and about 80 percent of the cars on the road are VWs. I was expecting Japanese cars, DaeWoos, or Hyundais to be crowding the streets, but this was not the case. VW is definetely making bank in Shanghai.
The smog is worse than LA. If breathing in LA for one day is equivilent to smoking a pack of cigs, then I smoked about four packs in Shanghai for the 48 hours I was there.

One day in Shanghai was a great time. Even though the time I had was way too short, I sort of prefer trips that I feel are too short. It means that I had a great time and wasn't dissapointed, tired out, disillusioned, or fed up. Sometimes not enough is better than too much.

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Well, tomorrow I am off to Shanghai! Got some cheap tix, so I gots to go. After reading about the Taxi service in Shanghai, I have been trying to polish up on my Chinese, but have since given up. But if we go eat Dim Sum I have a reasonable chance of being understood!

So, you want anything? Lemme know! SARS, penis of endangered animal, mail order bride, Polex watches... Don't say I didn't ask.

I promise plenty of pics when I get back...

Jedi Mind Trick

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Yo check this story from the Independent out!

I can think of some other possible scenarios in which memory can be morphed. For example, if something really bad happens to someone you didn't really like (violent rape, murdered, amputated limb, paralysis, cancer of the rectum, etc...), especially if they are unjustly killed, you are more likely to think less harshly of them. After something really bad happens, I think sympathy fucks with the mind, and can amplify the good things that a bad person has done.

So now that I am aware of this, it is time to introduce a new standard operating procedure to shield myself from committing unjust actions based on an altered memory. If a person that I don't like ends up having their colon removed, I will continue to dislike them as much as I had been. After all, if I can stop my memory from morphing, then it is my duty to take action against it. And if that person should cause me further reason to dislike them to a certain level, then I shall apply a kung-fu death grip on their colostomy bag and squeeze! On second thought, a colostomy bag is a fate horrible enough (damn! I succombed to pitying mine enemy even in this fictional scenario).

The Brothers Yoshida

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I demand a cut of the profits for using the sacred family name!

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Can these guys rock as hard as the band's name implies?

.....Is the conclusion you would most likely infer from the past 6 comments posted (which I have since deleted).

IP address: 65.77.116.28
Author: Viagra
Email Address: amir11@hotbox.com
Comment:
Hi! Nice site! Please visit our site also http://www.someviagra.info/ soon.

I suspect that this is payback for posting the previous entry by the person who bears a resemblance to the picture, or the very person whose picture is posted...

Damn! Its enough to get 10 spams a day that promise to "enhance your penis size" or to help you "gain several inches" or that will "set your libido on fire". If this was indeed posted by someone trying to make a profit, you are a sorry worthless bastard. Post comments on your own site... I am sure Boner Blog could be a big success. That being said, you are NOT WELCOME to post your ads here (especially if you don't ask you rude bastard! In the words of the immortal Ash: What were you, born in a barn?).

So I urge you, don't buy Viagra over the net from these bastards: Instead, why don't you support the Mexican economy and obtain it for a fraction of the cost while eating beef (most likely dog, cat, or rat if you really want to think about it) tacos, while you sip on a dos equis or corona in TJ. While you're at it, why not buy some M1000s, hammocks, and old school bottles of Fanta immersed in ice cold Montezuma's Revenge laden cooler carts... And just give that damn kid a buck for his 10 boxes of Chicle so that he will stop following you, in his squeaky voice calling "Meester, meester!". Don't forget to take pictures in front of the donkey that is literally painted black and white to look like a zeebra, and while were on the subject of donkeys...

Anyhow, switching gears, I heard this joke from a sick mofo from Saga-ken who almost got kicked off of the JET Programme from committing a felony during Summer Vacation:
Q. What do you get when you stick a knife in a baby? (If you are a sensitive person, if you are already uncomfortable with the question, if you are not allowed to read mature material on the web, or if you find such jokes distasteful you probably shouldn't click below)

As Requested By Steve

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We post, you decide: Does this look like the CP Dizzle? In the words of Mr. Steven Tsuda:

I pulled this one from monster.com. It's either Dempsey as a cross dresser, or Dempsey as a rock star for halloween.

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By the way Dempsey, what ever happened to http://www.luckyirish.net?

Its About Friggin Time!

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Hahahahaha! As of today, I have a working ISDN connection! Thats right, now I can connect from home for a fixed rate instead of paying 100 bucks per month just for the phone bill! Why am I excited about ISDN? Do you know what it feels like to have to read the newspaper while a simple email takes 5 minutes to load? You would be starved for bandwidth too if all you could get for a whole year was 56k.That being said, when is ADSL gonna arrive in my sparsely populated village? I know its gonna come right after I leave, because it wouldn't make sense any other way.

...but I found another earthworm crawling around on the tile. Watching it inch around between the cracks as I took a shower last night made me nautious, and made me wonder; Where do they come from? How can they get into my bathroom? Are there latent annelid eggs spawning from the grout? Do my students sneak into my bathroom and plant them there? My guess is that they crawl up the drains, or that there is some small undetected crack that leads inside. About 4 months ago I found a millipede in my bath. I ignored it, and it died, and had a huge clutch of babies, which hatched. I found baby millipedes crawling all over the place for the following months, and stopped counting after 20. My advice: kill the mother and the eggs and save yourself the trouble of killing a lot of tiny monsters! Hahaha, the shiitake growing in my Sabado Tarde apartment shower no longer seems SO disgusting (It was a huge sucker!).

Caffeine Withdrawl

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This weekend I went up with Matt to visit with Lawton and Gi up in Fukuoka. Lawton is now known as "Rawton" because I know that his kids pronounce his name as "Rawton sensei" when they ask him what he thinks about the recent "Carifornia Erections".

Anyways, we met up with a bunch of friends and aquaintances and went out to Tenjin and Hakata (the happenin' night spots in Fukuoka that accept foreigners and aren't prohibitively expensive), and went somewhere where I had up until that point never had visited nor had any intention of visiting. That's right, we went to the Happy Cock (previously the Crazy Cock). Now there are two of those clubs downtown. The name pretty much sums it up.

The Happy Cocks are a good place to go if you fit the following profile:
*you are a Marine on shore leave.
*you are a Japanese girl (or boy, for all I know) looking to hook up with a Marine.
*you are an obvious (Caucasian or Black, or a really loud Asian) gaijin looking to get some action.
*you don't mind the bartender mixing you a long island with only two different kinds of liquor and Coke.
*you are a person who enjoys the company of Marines when they are hunting for tail and drinking (meaning, you are probably a Marine or a girl looking for one).

Basically, this is Fukuoka's version of a Roppongi bar (like GasPanic).

Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate everything that the Marines are doing and have done to protect our country and its interests, but they tend to be dicks towards anyone that they are not trying to get in the sack, especially when they are drunk.
A while ago, we went to a different club in Tenjin called "Vibe", where a good portion of the Fukuoka hip-hop community often hangs out. This night it was full of Marines and high school aged girls. Anyways, I was halfway into drainin the lizard when I hear a loud knock at the door. "Get the FUCK out of there! My friend needs to use the restroom!". So I opened the door to see what their problem was. Two big mean-looking guys were holding up their friend, and said "I'm sorry but our friend has to puke"(It was shocking to hear them use the word "sorry" because I was expecting to get punched in the face). "I understand, go for it." I said, and waited for them to finish.
He planted his hands onto the urine-soaked tiles, and hey made him puke. He washed his hands, regained his balance, and shook my hand. They all apologized once again and thanked me, inviting me to sit with them. We went over to their table and joined their group. One of them made the following observation:
"You know what? You look like Mike Shinoda from Linkin Park!" so for the rest of the night I was known as "Mike" or "Shinoda". I became their best friend for the night after they found out that I was from California (not just some Japanese guy who spoke great English!). My money was no good, because they insisted on buying me free drinks all night long. They even introduced me to the group of (ugly, underaged) girls they were chatting up, and wanted me to share in their love hotel adventures (but I wasn't quite THAT drunk). I met these guys right before they were deployed into Iraq, and hope that they are all safe right now. Marines can be great guys when you get to know them, although sometimes they are best avoided.

This weekend, I was talking with another Marine who said this to me:
Marine: "So what (nationality) are you?"
Me: "I'm American"
Marine: "Hey, I feel really sorry for what we did to your people during World War II".
Me: "Yeah, Hiroshima and Nagasaki were horrible, but I am American like you. OUR people did it."
Marine: "I know, but I'm sorry for what my country did to your country. That shit ain't right".
Me: "Uh, I'm gonna go get another beer."
Sometimes the meaning doesn't stick to your words no matter how many times you repeat them, and by the time it reaches someone else, all it is is noise devoid of a signal. At times like this it is best to drink more beer. Then it may SEEM like it is making sense, or at least you will forget about the whole deal.

Anyhow, after driving about 10 hours over the weekend, and lacking sleep (partially due to some loud snoring, partially to the Lipovitan, partially to staying out until 5 in the morning, partially to sleeping on linoleum, etc...) I looked like the guy on the can.

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Except my red eyes were barely cracked open. Thank God for Audioslave, on all of those long solitary drives back home.

Strange Sleeping Habits

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Gi with Matt's dirty sock on face (placed there by self).

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Matt with Matt's dirty sock on face (placed there by self).

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Truly disturbing.

A Free Day At Oita's Sculpture Park

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Yesterday I got to hitch along with the Middle School's fieldtrip to go look at pieces of artwork produced in Oita-ken. After watching a 30 minute video about some old dead Japanese dude of whom the premises were named after, we looked at his sculptures of people, monkeys, and cats (there were so many that Taro naturally came to mind) and took a short tour around the museum that was built in his honor. Then the kids were given a large 1.5x2 foot piece of paper and instructed to spend the next five hours painting anything that they wanted to in the vast grounds of the park surrounding the museum. This place was a nicely balanced microcosm, complete with mini-forest, a lawn with mini-rolling hills, a mini-mountain with a panaramic view, a mini-lake, and a mini-stream. The only thing that was missing, much to my dissapointment, were mini-people (but I guess that JHS students will do in a pinch). Anyways, scattered throughout the crafted landscape were sculptures created by students of Oita University. They ranged wildly in their degree of abstractness, size, and how they looked relative to the site upon which they came to spend the rest of their existance.

I asked the teachers what they were going to do during the whole day, and they all said "ah, I have to work" or something in that vein. To translate this I had to use tried and true refined scientific methods. I broke out my linguistic bunsen burner, along with the graduated cylinder, titration set, beakers of various girth, and Erlenmeyer flask to set about distilling the scant traces of hidden true meaning from the words that actually spewed forth from their maws. After processing the raw input and passing it through filters and amplifiers, the following was yielded: "I am going to shoot the breeze with all of the other teachers (and occasionally a student) while sitting in the shade of the gazeebo, drinking tea and smoking many cigarettes, keeping a loose eye on the kids to make sure that they don't commit any felonies, and eventually spend the rest of the time sleeping, texting on the mobile telephone, or when the boredom becomes too overpowering, breaking out the easil and paintbrush to show these kids what watercolor painting is all about." I chose to hike around, take pictures of the art, sketch stuff, and to read a couple more chapters of Quicksilver . All in all, not a bad day at the office.

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Mental Block: This piece is the physical incarnation of my brain and its functions when I try too hard to have an honest conversation with most of the Japanese teachers with whom I work. I think that they experience something similar when I forget to mask what I really mean behind a couple of layers of opaque implication while at the same time slapping on some polite Japanese to give it a nice shiny gleen. Perhaps a precision expertly timed "bitchslap" can make them understand where mere words fail! Actions speak louder than words.

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This frog was chillin' in a piece of "Art". The sculpture looked more like a giant kiln or old fashioned oven, made from adobe, but apparently it was a hit with the judges. However, unlike a lot of art out there it seems to have fulfilled more of a purpose than just sitting there as a lump of aesthetically pleasing dead weight (although most likely unintentionally). It is now a nice castle for a very small frog, so that he can look down upon all the other lesser frogs that make their homes under the rotting logs, in the pond, or huddled under the leaf litter! Bow down!

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Over the day I completed this sketch with a student, doing a little at a time. it looks better from up close (you just have to take my word for it). Brought back countless memories of sketching stuff in class, throughout my career as a student. I remeber thinking "maybe one day these scribbles on my college ruled notebook paper will be worth some serious money...". Hahahahaha!

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Mini-stream with mini-islands and probably some mini-giardia and mini-chollera.

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Remains Of A Dream: This piece looks to be a Semi (Cicada) between the larval and adult stages, lying on it's back on top of a leaf. In my opinion, this Kafkaesque piece should have won the competition. What won instead? A long metal chrome tube painted red inside the bore, tied with steel cable to a chunk of granite upon which it rested! Uh, I think the judges had their berets on a little too tight during the competition.

Blackboard Impressionisms

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The whiteboard is over-rated. Back in the day, we learned on chalkboards, and we liked it. Chalk has many more merits than the erasable marker. First of all, chalk (AKA CaCO3 as the nerds like to say) is environmentally benign and there is no shortage of it. Also, sniffing chalk will not give you a buzz (trust me, Chris Dempsey has tried this)- it will only give you milky looking snot and make you sneeze . Also, there is nothing in the classroom that lends itself to harmless fun as a fully loaded blackboard eraser. In addition, chalk can be used to write graffiti anywhere there are bricks or concrete, which is pretty much everywhere in a regular school, and if you get caught taggin' they oftentimes don't care since its isn't permanent. Lastly, the blackboard was a rare, useful, effective instrument, efficient in its every use. When a teacher was pissed off, and could take no more noise from a crazed class- thats when she formed her right hand into a claw, bringing her talons of wrath chinking down and then screaching across the murky blackish green void.

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Anyhow, I now teach mostly using blackboards now that I am in Japan. Last week I drew this portrait of this student, and I think it came out rather well. I am yet to use my fingernails to get attention, but now that I remembered it I am bound to use this dreaded technique in the future (you think your Wu-Tang Style can defeat me!?!).

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Gubernatorial Thoughts

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I want Arnold to win. Yeah, he is probably a big powerful chauvenistic guy who gropes people, but many men and women of action are. Look at James Bond, the Kennedys(the DKs and Jello Biafra rule!), Nina from 24, Face (from the A-Team), and powerful monarchs of past like Henry the 8th. Its all part of the job.

California has many problems to deal with right now, and I fell that Schwartzanegger will take them out like he took out the drug dealers in Commando, the evil sorcerers and their hordes in Conan, and the expectations for his future movies like he did with Last Action Hero. The point is that I expect him to dive into the problems like he has in the movies. Either we will be totally screwed, or if he gets it right then we will vanquish all of our enemies and rule as kings over the West Coast!

So using manliness as the sole deciding factor of whom I wish to rule California, I have to side with The Terminator. If I were a secretary I think that I would bust out the whoop ass on Grey (or is it Gray) Davis if he threw a stapler at me. If Arnold threw his stapler at me, I would run away as fast as I could.

On another note: I like saying the word gubernatorial. Gubernatorial gubernatorial gubernatorial. I think when I teach my kids "American" (read, the superior form of) football, they will learn One Gubernatorial Two Gubernatorial Three Gubernatorial instead of "Alligator" or "Missisippi". That way they can discuss the gubernatorial "erection" with their english speaking friends!

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Those bastards! They killed Kenny!
No they didn't but they did open my mail and made it really obvious. The top of the envelope was roughly ripped open, stuffed into a plastic bag containing a note that said basically "uh, we opened your letter"- duh! I couldn't tell this from the disgustingly violated state in which it was received. And all it contained were a letter and some pics.
I understand that the post office has concerns about delivering drugs, explosives, chemical, and biological weapons, but I still don't like the way they opened my letter. They could have steamed it open and I wouldn't have been able to tell the difference, or they could've used a letter opener, but no- some guy used his hooked index finger to eviscerate my letter! I hope you got a bad papercut, and that it gets infected with gas gangrene, forcing you to use a letter opener like a civilized sneak in the future!

On a different note, I scared my students into using English today. My 2nd year JHS students refuse to verbally answer questions in class, so I forced them to change their ways. I explained that we were going to debate why I should or shouldn't give them more homework, everyone against me and Mr. Sato. This worked much better than I anticipated, and almost everyone came up with a counter-point to every point I could think up. They also displayed their potential for creative and critical thinking, which I have rarely encountered at school. The points that they brought up were actually very good, and they questioned the validity of some of my points! The debate went up until the last minute, and I had them scared, because we were tied. I argued the last point for their team, and they enjoyed a victory. If you make the stakes higher, they will step their game up a notch!
Also I believe this worked by putting things into perspective. It is a bit embarassing when you first start to speak in front of any group of people, but being assigned more mind-dulling work is a worse fate. I think this approach has many applications for others as well. For example, if you drop a group of rich self-centered Newport Beach kids into the heart of South Central at nighttime, they will work together and solve problems instead of throwing a fit and demanding that they deserve a new BMW instead of the old Mercedes that was handed down to them. If you stick a middle-class obese systems administrator in Guatemala, eating too much food will not be a problem anymore, nor will not having the time to exercise as they slave in the banana plantations to earn enough food to keep them alive for the day. The opportunities are endless, and at the end of the day you have real solid results.

"Formula"

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This is my 1989 Civic Hatchback "Formula". I bought it for a mere 70.000 yen from Harvey, while other people got ripped off by their evil predecessors. Its sorta funny because my teachers always insist that he should have given me the car for free, since it is so old (maybe they will hook me up when shakken rolls around) but it was worth it.

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This weekend, I felt the urge to restore it to a state of quasi-cleanliness, and so spent four hours doing so. For the past year, I washed my car two times. As a result, there was moss growing on my car (this is all part of the Japanese aesthetic philosophy, in no part due to laziness). It really doesnt matter if I wash it because it rains all the time and gets dirty very quickly. Before I even considered doing exterior "restoration", the interior needed some major work. Months worth of trash had accumulated inside, and so I donned my hazmat suit, and extracted partially eaten moldy food, long lost reciepts from various places, Joyfull Powerpuff Girls adorned drink bar coupons, long lost email and phone numbers on small wadded up pieces of paper, and about 500 yen in assorted change. Also, I have never vacuumed my car. So I started from the bottom up. Years worth of dust and gravel were pounded from the mats (it took thirty minutes just to smack the dust out of them), and vacuumed from all of the upholstery. Then, I wiped down the whole car with cleaning solution (I had driven through a construction site doing donuts with the windows DOWN, so a thick layer of cement dust had settled onto and into everything, including yours truly. It smelled like I was making concrete after I finished). Next, I organized and bound the wires for the sound system, making everything nice and neat. After that, I was able to move on to the exterior. I washed it down with a potent mixture of hot water, soap, and lemon juice and let it sit in. The lemon juice ate away much of the oxidation and made the car smell like lemonheads. So now my car is in prime condition, probably for the first time since the first ALT who owned it bought it.

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The Civic is a great car. It handles well on the windy roads, accelerates acceptably fast enough (I can take some turns faster than the racers, because I don't care if my fenders drag on the asphalt!), can hold its own in the snow, and I have come to completely rely on it. If I didn`t have this car, I would surely have gone insane and probably would have hurt or killed myself or the others around me! I use a car way more over here than I ever did in California. A good public transportation center is one of the things bundled into the meaning of "Japan" as a concept, but clearly this notion is only true in some areas.

As a result, I have put in a Kenwood Sub and mids (compliments of Justin, and thus in some part due to Tatsuya- thanks bro!), a new CD head unit, and some tweeters. I daresay that I have the best sounding system in Kumamoto of all of the JETs, which I put together (with some help) by myself. I spent about an hour on tweaking the system this weekend, and as a result, it sounds much better!

I also have Justin's radar detector set up, and it has on a couple of occasions probably saved me from getting pulled over. Those Japanese cops find the best hiding places, no doubt inspired by playing countless rounds of kakurembo as children with foreign ALTs such as myself. Am I helping to raise some future facist cop, honing his skills? Or am I helping to raise those who will be pursued by the fascist cop, enabling him to perform crucial evasive actions?

If you haven't guessed, I really like my car. This makes me sad because I will probably get rid of it when its due for it's next inspection. But for now, I am happy, and will try to keep it in its present state for as long as I can (not lapse into laziness again).

My Little Hanami

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Huh???

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The mountain cherry tree in front of the Hokubu nursery school is in bloom again! Though the blossoms are rather few, it brought back the heavenly atmosphere of the many many cherry blossom viewing parties that we had thoughout March and April. I will take this as a good omen for the quickly approaching winter.
Got to chill with the geezers yesterday, because it was "Old People Appreciation Day" in Japan (But... She's so old!). Shout outs to Mom, Dad, Kohei, all the uncles and aunts, and Justin! Its funny to see how the grandparents and grandchildren bear strong resemblances. Looking down at the faces of kindergarteners and up at the geriatric crew, you know what each one will look like 60 or 70 years later! I predict I will look like Susumu Yoshida.

The Haunted Hotel

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There is an old abandoned uncompleted golf resort in my town, located right next to another swank expensive resort. This place used to be special to me, when me and Harvey were the only ones who knew of its existance.

The first time I visited the hotel was in late September of 2002. Harvey had told me that the resort was an idea conceived during the peak of the bubble economy. A local entrepreneur pitched the project, including the creation of a full golf course and luxury hotel, to his fellow villagers. They all chipped in a fixed portion of their income and watched their guarenteed cash cow coming closer to completion with every passing day. The hotel was almost complete, and the earth moving equipment had pushed around the earth to accomodate a world-class golf course- there was every indication that from this point on, the cash would come a flowin, and everyone would be rollin in brand new luxury cars, soaking in champagne filled furos, etc... And then the bubble burst! The major capital that had been seeing the project through was suddenly cut off. Only a little more money had to be raised, but this proved impossible. No one had any money to invest, and if they did, they were very reluctant to do anything other than stash it away.
The project failed and the entrepreneur felt a heavy burden. He must have felt like the spectre in "The Rime of the Aincent Mariner" carrying a decaying albatross around his neck. There was only one way to lessen the dishonor that he had brought to his family and ancestors. And so he committed seppuku (so I was told). For those of you unfamiliar with this ceremony, it involves thrusting a knife into your stomach and slicing across from one side to the other. The longer cut you make, the more shame is erased. Pain through purification.
Anyhow, I made my first trip to this place alone close to dusk. I walked around, acutely aware of the total silence, broken occasionally by the buzzing of flies and the scurrying of frightened animals. The place was straight out of a Steven King novel, and I spent an hour exploring the three levels of floors and the clutter packed basement. I remember finding a balcony where I got reception, and calling Justin. It was a truly creepy experience, and he was shocked that I had gone in by myself. The more I described the eerie deja vu vibe mixed with the feeling of being watched, the less I wanted to stay in the hotel. I hung up, and tried to find my way out. The fading light of the late afternoon, filtered through the prisms of broken windows, through the stirred up dust, making richly hued beams of gold. Dusk would come soon.
I stepped up the pace and retraced my steps, or tried to. I had explored so many places that I had forgotten where I had started. The hallway that had come from the lobby spit me out at another hallway. The stairway that led to back to another exit took me to where I had just been. This was really creepy. I had a strong urge to run away, to get out as fast as possible, but I fought this. Ah, there it was, the unmistakable rotten mattress that led to the stairs ascending to the lobby. I dashed forward into the darkness and disturbed a couple of bats who flew almost directly into my face! That way was not going to work. Finally I worked out my orientation and got out of the hotel. Walking down the eroded road to my car, I had the feeling I was being watched from one of the many darkened windows (like Scooby Doo and the gang in any given adventure).
Over the course of time, I have taken many friends to share in the experience. They often are scared or at least unsettled, at the spooky environment. Soon, word got around and now everyone knows of this place. About six months ago I took a bunch of friends on a weekend and we ran into another group that had come to check it out. So the place has lost its charm. Its still a pretty fun place to go once in a long while. My friends like to go and kick down locked doors (there are no more of those now...), break glass, and smash anything that they can. However, visiting the site is done for a whole new reason than when I started.
What was mine has become everyones'. People always feel the need assert their braveness, to illustrate the size of their testicles. "That place isn't so bad", "The only thing I'm concerned about is the bats", "I was expecting it to be scarrier", etc... These people have also never gone in by themselves, and even if they had, they're not going to have the same surreal experience that I had. They can't. On my first visit, the place was unexplored by gaijin- a virgin chunk of wonder. Now, it is merely another curious place to visit in Aso.

I do know of other crazy abandoned places near my pad, but I think I will keep their locations to myself. One of them is the ruins of a partially burnt down love hotel. Again, I visited this place alone, and had a similar experience. Inside the pitch black rooms is old furniture and dusty relics from a time not too long ago. The beds are still made in some of the rooms, and there is a strange object that looks like a cross between massage and torture equipment (you can bet it was used to facilitate doing "the nasty" in various locations). I have not been back, and plan on keeping it that way, preserving the memory for only myself. It's mine!!!

Anyhow, the Aso JETs want to have a halloween party at the hotel (thats right, its gotten that well known). I had thought about doing so when I first visited, but its a really bad idea. If they do have it there, I predict disaster in some form.

Loafisms

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The word loaf has many usages and its meanings are dependent upon the context in which it is used in. "Loaf" is most commonly used hand in hand with "bread". and is sometimes used as a verb (my boss is good at loafing), adjective (a loaf of whole wheat, what a loafer) and noun (I'll take a loaf and a bottle of Lucky Charcoal Filtered Vodka please!).
"Loaf" often elicits a pavlovian effect on those who hear it, commonly making stomachs grumble. However, the expression "I'm going to pinch a loaf" makes normal people wrinkle their noses and verbally express their disgust. Equating the act of defecation with baking is so vile, that it never fails to be at least somewhat funny everytime I hear it.
Which leads me to a question: can certain types of feces be considered "loaves"? I think so. A loaf can be defined as "stuff compressed or formed into a solid column-like form, through the processes of baking or squishing that stuff together". After all, cold cuts are sliced from loaves of various nitrite injected proteins(think olive loaf). And, you gotta admit, the french baguette, fruit cake(vile in its own right), and other types of bread, tend to resemble our excrement. It is not uncommon for my brother to proudly describe what he flushes, and he can probably recollect his favorite noteworthy specimens. He might even have a photo album.
This picture though, put together two words that I just never expected to see together. Now, after being in Japan for a year, I have aquired a taste for many animal parts that are not commonly eaten in the States(chicken gristle, gizzard, hormone, stewed tendons and ligaments, etc...), among them tongue. But for some reason, when you add almost any bodily part with the word "loaf" it is transformed into something that is instantly disgusting. Here, why don't you try: Think of a random body part (say, for example, skin) and add the word "loaf". And presto! Mmmmmmm.... skin loaf! What a fun word! And who says learning English is no fun?!?

Hiking Kuju

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This is an insect that was found at the peak of Mount Kuju. It was about the size of a large grape, and has the general morphology of a tick. It moved very slowly and didn't seem bothered at all when picked up. As there were no visible animals at the top of the mountain other than people, their pets, and insects, and sparse vegetation, I am guessing that this monster tick eats volcanic rocks and dirt.

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I hiked up the mountain with one of my elementary schools and their families on Saturday. The hike started at eight and ended at three. The sun was shining in the open blue sky, and a constant cold breeze chilled the sweat on my brow. It was such a nice day that there must have been about one thousand visitors hiking the trail on that day alone.My students went at their own pace, and so I was forced to climb from our check in point up to the top three times by three different groups! As soon as I descended (from the last rest point), newly arrived students would demand that I accompany them again!
Anyhow, this is my second "expedition" up Mount Kuju- the first one was much harder to complete, as I took a longer and steeper trail during deep winter in the snow- yes, it was dangerous, but a hike isn't worth doing if it doesn't have some elements of danger. The fact that if you break your leg, then you will either have to suck it up and crawl down, or freeze to death all alone, makes hiking more interesting!
Kuju is the tallest mountain in Kyushu (I think, maybe it's Neko-Dake), and is still volcanically active. The smell of "Io" (or sulphur) permeates the air up there, and the landscapes are fantastically varied and scaled. Truly a magnificent hike if you happen to be in the area! As soon as I get my ISDN connection up and running I will post a bunch of pix.

Ojisan udedokei

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This is my good ol Seiko Professional dive watch, which was given to me on my 15th birthday by Kohei. At 15, it looked ridiculous on my scrawny teenage wrist, but now, 9 years later, that has been upgraded to "slightly too large". This thing is a tank, more a bludgeon than a timepiece. It can withstand great pressures, safely able to dive down as far as 200 metres without danger of implosion. This is my new watch of choice while teaching at my hoikuens and shogakkos, as even they won't be able to harm it.

Another One Bites The Dust

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Yes, I have sent yet another cherished watch to the junk pile... The Wenger was with me for many adventures and accompanied me on my various travels. It has been diving in Catalina, helped me to teach sailing in Newport, plummetted off of the Circus Circus bungee platform, and has kept me on track for this past year in Japan (among many other things). It was a faced paced round of Duck-duck-goose that finally did it in. I dove for the vacant spot left by the goose, and BOOM, the band broke.

This is not the first time that a watch of mine has died a violent death. When I was living on Picasso Avenue, I lost my Spider-Man watch (limited edition Fossil) in a similar incident. A group of us had just come back from a party on D.P. to our pad, and noticed that Diane was missing. She was last seen drunk, and talking to a couple of guys, so we were obligated to go retrieve her before she got herself into trouble! Me, Steve, Brian, and Chris jumped on our bikes and took off toward the coast. I decided that going down the ramp would only take away more precious time, so decided to jump the curb, between two cars, and join the convoy on the street.

My bike came down in an ungainly angle, and the impact between my front tire and the pavement catapulted me down over the handle bars face first. The impact was a hard smackdown, that I can only describe as "black". With great effort I pushed myself up and uttered the words that would be used to mock me for the following months "I broke my watch!", oblivious to my own state. It was completely smashed beyond any hope of repair. Bits and pieces of the obliterated face reflected the dim yellow glow of the streetlights, the braided leather band snapped in the same place. My bloodied jeans were frayed threadbare at the points of impact, a testament to the power of friction.
The sting of roadrash over my face, right hand, arm, shoulder, hip, and knees accompanied he realization that I was bleeding, and my chest hurt. I limped inside, and Brian took off to find Diane. They returned immediately.
I went to the bathroom and pulled out the good 'ol hydrogen peroxide and cotton swabs. It took 30 minutes to sterilize all of the wounds and to scrape all of the small rocks and grit out. Everytime I applied the peroxide, it really hurt, so much that I would scream out in pain. This was followed EVERY TIME by waves of laughter, followed by insincere statements like "I'm sorry but its really funny", or "we're not laughing at you!" followed by more laughter. What good friends huh, laughing and making fun of my agony!
For the next couple of weeks I looked like the recipient of a good thrashing. Slowly, my wounds scabbed up, the scabs peeled off, the pink new skin got tanned, and I recovered. However, for months my chest still ached, and Brian and Chris took potshots, jabbing me in the ribs whenever an opportunity arose. My father visited some time later, and after inspecting the pain, he told me that I had broken my rib. Of course once they found out, this made the bastards laugh even more.
Moral of the story: Not only is BUIing (Biking under the influence) against the law, but it can be very painful physically and psychologically. But after a fall, you must get back up and ride again! With practice and perserverence, one can learn to BUI in a safe and controlled manner, maybe.
Well, its time to get a new watch. I can only hope that the next one will fare better than its predecessors...

A Google Search yielded this page. Like natto in Japan, British children are fed this stuff at an early age, so they aquire the taste after rigorous feeding regimens. Natto is typically served as a condiment to rice, as Marmite generally tops toast (the most popular carbohydrate eaten with every meal in said countries).
In the Marmite page, this is a suggestion of a possible use for this particular "savoury spread":
...Marmite is very effective as a topical ointment in the treatment of haemorrhoids.
And I'll leave it at that...

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Yesterday was a free day. The birds were singing, there were "Ferris Bueller clouds" in the bright blue sky, and a gentle breeze, and so of course I got sick the day before and had to stay at home. But this turned out to be a productive day nonetheless. My place was really messy, so I spent most of the day sorting, organizing, and tossing stuff in the garbage. As I was going through, discarding things in the kitchen that had grown a layer of grey mold (everything- I am not even exagerating) I found this jar of Marmite. Contains various vitamins, 100 percent vegetarian, yeast extract... this looks like something that my father would recommend to treat you for whatever might be ailing you at the moment.

So I unscrewed the grimy yellow cap, and was treated to a whiff of stuff that smelled like a mix of Kyolic (fermented garlic infusion of nastiness), vinegar, and Karo syrup. It was thicker than honey, and had the color of spoiled chocolate pudding. Surprisingly (maybe not really), no mold had grown on this. Even if it had, this stuff could not be any nastier that it was in its natural state.

I know Brits eat some strange stuff. Steve's Toad in the Hole and other lard filled dishes are proof of this. I mean, are you supposed to find pubes in this dish traditionally, or was that just a special treat created in honor of Pete? Anyways, what did Harvey (my predecessor) use this stuff for? Since it was in the kitchen, I can only assume he ate or drank it in some form. I was thinking, are you obligated to eat disgusting things if you are a vegetarian? I think if I were vegetarian, I would opt not to eat Marmite, even if it made me a pseudo-vegetarian, and all the other vegetarians looked down on me (while enjoying a heaping tablespoon full of stinky goodness). I find the other argument, that it contains vitamins, not sufficient to get me to put this stuff in my mouth. I prefer my vitamin fortified Froot Loops and Kix thank you very much!
Has anyone eaten this stuff? If so I am curious to know:
1. Why?
2. How?
3. Would you ever do it again?
4. Is this stuff big in the U.K.?
5. Is it traditionally served with pubes?

Zou No Zou

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Still trying to figure out how to make an "o" with a straight accent line over it (indicating a long o sound). The addition of a "u" to the end of the "o" will just have to make do for now.

Ride On!

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I have tried to ride many different things down many different steep areas around Japan. Snowboarding in the local hills, mountain boarding on Mount Aso and the Ubuyama Bokujo, cardboard down Kikka-machi's huge steep astroturf hill, homebase down the long roller-slide in Kyokushi, Taro's longboard down a jinja, et cetera. But this was the most fun I've had recently.
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At English camp, I tried riding a sled down a really steep grass hill, and had many good rides. My students saw this and tried their luck at it. All of the boys couldn't do it, and felt really bad because this girl could nail it from her very first run.

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If you ever get the chance to ride sleds down steep grass hills, keep in mind that it is even more fun to wear zoris, and the key to successful jumping is looking good in the air (extra bonus for a good wipeout).

In English, "inaka" means "country". I live in the cho-inaka (or uber-boonies, for you non Japanese speakers).
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My village is so inaka that the local restaraunt doesn't even make shrimp tempura. Nonetheless, this tempura kicked some major ass! It was every type of vegetable and mushroom tempura conceivable piled into a huge mountain of oily goodness (I am still trying to decide if this would be considered a healthy meal or not), and I was unable to finish all of it! Is this the equivalent of country style biscuits and gravy? The Japanese still have much to learn in the ways of fattening and unhealthy foods.

Crikey, Thats A Big Sheila!

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What kind of savage beast could possibly do this type of damage to my forearm???

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You are probably picturing this, the mighty T-Rex, in your head! But no, this creature is much more cunning and dangerous.
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She is so dangerous that they keep her behind a reinforced set of iron bars, and use modified supercharged cattleprods to keep her at bay! This is what bit me, and she has since the last chomp, tried to bite me a couple more times!

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However, no beast can match up to the raging fury that lurks within my little sister. I have a scar on my cheek created from when I was 5 years old. She bit down and refused to let go even after drawing blood, a testament to her feral temper.

Beer + Horses + Drunk People = Fun

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On my way driving to an English Camp on Saturday morning, I was surprised to hear Japanese drums. As I came around a curve, a saw a frightened horse bulldozing his handlers into the heavy traffic. He was clearly terrified by the streaming cars, the dancing participants, and the throbbing drums. I learned that they were preparing for the "Drunken Horse Festival" that I had missed last year, and that the main event would be on Monday.

I spent the three day weekend working with the same 5th and 6th graders that I taught during the summer. It was great to see them want to use their English, and I think this batch has great potential. I taught Kaho-chan to do the proper Kung Foo pose while uttering "Tiger-style" in traditional Wu-Tang Clan style (Method Man would surely approve).

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Anyhow, yesterday I decided to fight my mind paralyzing fatigue, so that I could witness the ensuing mayhem. From what I've heard, this festival was started in order to honor the horses of Kumamoto for the role that they played in a smashing victory on the Korean Peninsula (yet another reason why Koreans hate Japanese).

It didn't seem like the horses really liked the honor that was bestowed on them. I met up with a bunch of friends and co-workers, and we watched the latter half of the 65 or so horses and thousands of hapi-clad paraders dance, stumble, and thrash around spasmodically to the sounds of drums and loud hoarse chanting of the various MCs (one per horse).

Horses and people alike lacked the equilibrium needed to avoid collisions. The horses were completely freaked, bucking on several occasions. I saw one horse charge to the side of a really small street packed past capacity. He swung around in an unsteady arc, and without warning smashed into the trapped crowd with several rapid kicks! Unbelievably, no one was injured.

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About ten minutes later, I saw an ambulance streak by headed in the same direcion...
The parade was amazing and I stayed for three hours. I was rockin' to the beat and rewarded with beer on many occasions (that I had to give away, since I had to drive home).

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How was this matsuri started anyways? I can imagine a bunch of Kumamoto men saying: You know what we should do? Lets throw a party and watch what happens when we get the horses sloshed! I bet my horse can drink more than yours! etc.

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I have found the best, most fun matsuri are the ones that blend danger, alcohol, and a riotous crowd in the proper measure. This matsuri ranks among the best that I have encountered so far.

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My Puppy Is Cuter Than Mika's

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Heh heh... Fire!

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Rules Of Engagement

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Tiny exploring hands. This is my concise description of what a Hoikuen (nursery school) is. I no longer keep anything on me when I visit because my kids are all pickpockets of varying skills. The mob technique is employed every time I go, with two kids clamping onto each leg, while two apiece grab onto my arms, and everyone else huddles around me. Sometimes the more motivated ones bring chairs or anything else they can step on (i.e. each other) to jump onto my back. Its a collective effort to make me plummet to the Earth, much like the exploits of groups of primitive Neanderthals working as a team to bring down a mighty mammoth! There is no holds barred in this dystopic island of the beasts.

I have developed a set of rules to follow to increase the chance of survival:

1. Cover your crotch and anal region at ALL times. The boys especially used to love socking me full force in the nuts at unexpected times. I put a stop to this immediately by applying my Vulcan Death Grip, so now it has almost ceased to be a problem. However, the kancho (shoving fingers up your butt) remains a problem. They ALWAYS try this at some point during the day, even if I make them sorry they did it. What is it about these kids? Don't their parents teach them that you shouldn't touch certain things??? I have even seen adults engage in this behavior (one older man tried to kancho a hostess who was serving us drinks)!

2. Don't fall to the ground. Two words sum it up: Dog pile. With 30 plus kids at a time, death by suffocation is not so far fetched a possibility (is this proper English???).

3. Don't duck down to check on the status of a crying child. This seems heartless, but unless you think something is really wrong, chances is that this is just a clever, irresistable ruse. Survey the situation standing completely erect. If you don't understand this, refer to #2.

4. If you push the kids on the swings, demand reciprocation. This gives you a chance to rest, and its fun to see them try so hard and get absolutely nowhere (hahaha!!!). Really, though, find a good place to avoid detection and rest when you need it.

5. Wear stuff that you wouldn't mind wearing if you were to go wrassle yerself some hogs. Stuff gets stretched out, torn, and really really dirty. Boogers, dirt, food, and many other disgusting forms of contamination will bombard you from the time you arrive until you make it to your car.

6. Bring stuff to bribe them with. When reason fails, use their greed to get them to do what you want! Dealing with a pack of hoikuen kids is probably the same as dealing with the Mongol hordes. Show no fear, and promise them rewards if they cooperate.

7. Think carefully before you do something for anyone. If you do it for one of them, you probably will have to do it for all of them.

8. Think carefully before you talk. They are brilliant at parroting when they want to, so only proper English should be spoken. If rule #1 is forgotten, this can be quite challenging.

9/11

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I remember.

Almost exactly two years ago my family had a REALLY BAD DAY. My Mom busted into my room early in the morning hysterically screaming about terrorists blowing up the World Trade Center. Immediately we all got up and started watching the reports roll in, showing unbelievably horrifying footage. The same thing must have been happening all over America. How could things be worse...

From a few months before my Dad had been complaining about severe stomach cramps, and he believed it to be caused by stress. Everything he tried seemed to have little effect on easing the pains, which worsened with the passing of time. Refusing to go see a doctor, his last efforts were directed toward seeking out Chinese herbalists that might be able to treat his excruciating pain (if you know my Dad, you know he would rather recieve a swift kick in the nuts, rather than admit to feeling something as trivial as pain!).

I could tell things were wrong because the night before, he walked in the door with his pants down and unbuttoned, leaning on the bannister, saying "Hi Ad", all the while fighting to keep up the appearance of control and strength. Although he was in great pain, he didn't lash out in anger to vent it. He maintained control of himself to the very very last second (sort of like how he likes to wait past closing time to make his way to the register, only after the Costco employees start getting pissed off about it).

Flash back to the morning of 9/11, at about 9:00 in the morning. From the television, we are summoned upstairs by Mom calling "Adam, Merin, get up here!". My Dad uttered words that chilled me to the soul, the words I never expected to ever hear him say: "Take me to the hospital!". As he said this my father looked like a dying man. His face was jaundiced, eyes bulged out and bloodshot, jaws clamped down fulll force, sweat pouring out of him. He refused to let us summon an ambulance stating "Its going to take too long to get here!".

So we got him into the QX-4 and I hauled full throttle to Fountain Valley Hospital. The whole time he was screaming "Oh F**k, I want you to SHOOT ME!" and other really frightening things of the same vein. We took him to the emergency entrance, and he tried to quickly and accurately explain his condition to the medical personnel.

M.P.: I'm going tell me where the pain is, Mr?
Dad: DR. Yoshida. The pain is in the LOWER LEFT QUADRANT! I think I need about 20 c.c.s of.....
M.P.: Take it easy sir! Folks(to us), we're going to need you to fill out the proper paperwork and wait over there (the small waiting room).

Luckily, my father lived. It turns out that his gallbladder had exploded and turned gangrenous (I'm guessing that this would be due to gas gangrene, the worst of all types of gangrene I think) almost killing him. In other words, it was ROTTEN! I can't imagine what that would be like: In degrees of pain, it must have been past excruciating.

9/11 was a bad, bad day. But I, unlike almost all other Americans, was slightly relieved at the end of the day. My father was finally getting proper medical treatment, and was in stable condition. I slept that night, and it wasn't until the coming of the following days that the magnitude of the attacks finally kicked me in the head.

What Does This Mean???

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Engrish Lessons!

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Lessons are proceeding better than I had expected. I have tweaked my lessons to up the game time, to introduce a more broad range of cultural content, and reinforce past lessons. This is the culmination of years of observation, cognition, and experimentation: As Hannibal says "I love it when a plan comes together!".

Last night during a private eikaiwa (english conversation class) I learned that Kikuko (the secretary at Yamaga Shogakko) was able to use some English that I taught her four months before. Some of the lessons I have been making deal with trouble shooting in other countries, including: how to protect yourself from scams, what to say in difficult situations, how to find the best places (to eat, shop, party, etc...), how to get around and ask directions, how to give vague answers to dangerous questions, how to get the best prices on stuff, and the use of slang and idioms to name a few.

Kikuko went to Vietnam two weeks ago, and had a chance to use what I taught her. The maid tried to make her sign a charge sheet stating that she would pay for a TV set that was broken when she was away from her hotel room. Kikuko read the statement, and realized that the maid was trying to pull a fast one, so she busted out with: "I want to talk to your manager!".

The maid's bluff called, she quickly said "I'm sorry, there's no problem, let me talk to my manager and I will take care of this" and she was not charged or bothered about it again! I can tell you this much- MY eikaiwa students will not be taken advantage of like your run of the mill Nihonjin! Try and take advantage of them will earn you a "Crazy Fool(in the words of the all mighty B.A. Baracus)! What are you trying to pull? Do you think I'm stupid?!? Whats your name? I want to talk to your boss!".

Ah, thats what teaching is all about!

Over Hill, Over Dale

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Yesterday was confused. First it was really hot without any blue sky. Then the clouds blitzed in and it poured heavily. Then the sun came out and it still poured heavily. Sporadic battalions of clouds made up of light and dark divisions scrambled across the blue expanse, all the while allowing the sunlight to filter through like the nausea-inducing replica paintings of Thomas Kinkade. I could've kicked myself in the nuts for not bringing my new digicam, so I had to capture this frame with my Docomo D251i instead.

This pic was taken at El Patio Ranch on the way to Ichinomiya. The five posts silhouetted in the foreground act as masts to the ragged American flags that fly during rain or snow. This probably would be a dramatically patriotic picture had I remembered to bring along the QV-R4! Lesson learned.

Scalpel...Sponge...Spork

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My chugakko kids wear these scrubs every day while serving lunch. C'mon guys, its just food! I think that hairnets and gloves suffice for everyday food service. I guess that if I had to wear surgical scrubs while putting lunch trays on my friends desks every day, I might just become obsessive about sanitizing everything to the point of being paranoid in many unnecessary situations. No wonder my co-workers were so freaked out about SARS and would not yield to reason: they were conditioned since they were born to over-react in normal everyday situations. I must admit that it was fun coughing and sneezing when everyone asked "do you feel alright?" after I came back from Thai! Its good to give people a good scare once and a while- brushes the dust off of the ol' fight or flight reaction.

Summertime and the livin's EZ

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The one on the left is Ken, and on the right we have Natsuki.
Ken is blasting the camera with an Ultraman energy beam, and Natsuki is ready to put the smack down on anyone who wants beef. Natchan already has a small beer belly, placing him way ahead of his peers.

Ewwwwww...

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When people hear that I get to work at 3 hoikuens every week, they generally say either "Awwwww, they must be so cute" or "Wow, that sounds cool". Well these two statements are true, but babies are really disgusting things.

They piss all over the tatami, they smell like feces at times, they drool whether excited or comatose, have food caked in their hair, face, clothes, and whatever else they come into contact with, they will put their hands anywhere, they put anything they can into their mouths, and they perpetually have big boogers creeping out of their tiny noses.

Its not like my kids are not well taken care of. After lunch they are cleaned, but it seems like all effort is in vain. In no time, they are once again filthy. Hahaha, my home no longer seems so messy anymore!

Negative View

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When browsing your keitai display, you usually look perpendicularly from a 90 degree angle, straight on. However, if you look from about a 15 degree angle, the screens colors will invert. Looking at an inverted picture this way will, of course, turn the colors back to normal.

This reminds me of a favorite technique of inverting pictures in high school photography class. After exposing a photo and washing it in the developing solution, if you once again expose it with plain light for a short period of time, it will create an image similar to the negative.

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This is 4 year old Akari-chan of Hokubu Hoikuen. The children in this part of Ubuyama can climb trees like no other children I have encountered, but only when they are really young.

Oxymoron

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I was watching the Discovery Channel a couple of nights ago, about this New Zealand marine scientist and his quest to capture architeuthis (the giant squid).

Dr O'Shea came up with the brilliant idea to go after larval architeuthis instead of adults. I found this to be disappointing, after all, there is nothing giant about a baby giant squid. I have always thought that to capture a giant squid, you would have to prepare for battle. Harpoons, modified high voltage cattle prods, and noxious chemical weapons turned out to be quite unnecessary. No danger, no thrashing tentacles of death, no gnashing razor sharp beak, no giant unblinking eyes... Nonetheless it was an exciting documentary.

First, his team had to screen through the vast archives of specimens of larval squid to identify the never before seen target species. After that was done he proceeded to net larvae of known giant squid breeding areas, refining the tecnique until he captured seven live specimens in one expedition. Unfortunately stage three, the rearing of a giant squid by means of aquaculture, did not happen because none of the larvae survived the trip to port.

However, O'Shea's team made breakthroughs in keeping other species of deep water squid alive and thriving for unprecedented lenghths of time. This is indeed exciting news, and the possibility of seeing fully grown architeuthis in aquariums no longer seems so impossible!

I want a giant squid in my fish tank! Can you imagine? Hours of fun experimenting what a giant squid will and will not eat! And of course, watching the epic battle unfold when you put a Sperm whale and a giant squid in the same tank!

Shifting Gears

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Today I decided to change my lessons in all of my classes, increasing the duration and range of games played. I have decided that not all games need to be ones that involve practicing English, as long as they serve the purpose of motivating the students to develop their language, cognition, social, motor, and various other skills that will be of use in the future. This ties into my plan to create an educational environment which will encourage creative and critical thinking, with the ultimate goal of providing my kids with the tools to learn on their own, and to motivate themselves independently of the curriculum based education.

I am quite happy with most of my shogakko lessons, and the kids still have a spark in their eyes and WANT to learn more English. The Hoikuen kids also like English lessons, but they forget everything rapidly, and many of them can't yet speak Japanese!

I think the best thing I can do for my kids is to support them in enjoying their childhood experiences. I believe that with positive associations, my kids will turn out better in the long run if I concentrate on important areas and cut down on unnecessary educational activities. This is my way of upping the quality and shifting away from the quantity of things that I teach. They will have plenty of time to vegetate and to perfect their techniques to deal with rote, mind-rotting work when they reach Chugakko.

As for Chugakko, the best I can do (since we have to stick to the text and do boring drills to prepare for the outdated entrance exams) is to concentrate on the students whose interests in English and foreign cultures have not completely collapsed, and to hopefully make a small difference. It is discouraging to note that with the jump from Hoikuen to Shogakko and from Shogakko to Chugakko, the rate at which the students pick up English dramatically decreases. This in itself is not necessarily bad, but the plunge in morale as Chugakko progresses is indeed a sad, sad thing to witness.

There is hope at the end of the tunnel, though. After teaching high schoolers this summer, I found many of them to be highly enthusiastic and hungry to learn English. This is also true of many college students who I have met. I know that my kids have the potential to become truly engaged in the pursuit of real education, and hope that that potential comes to fruition. This years work is indeed cut out for me. I will do my best.

When JRR Tolkien created the Middle Earth universe, he was tapping into an aincent lore of European origin, exploring the struggle between the eternal clash of good and evil. I know that, like me, Beowulf must have made a big impression on Tolkien.
The worlds of Beowulf and Middle Earth have several things in common: rings of power and other objects infused with might and power, a force of great evil threatening to wipe out the forces of good, the great unbalance of power in favor of evil, heroes and villians with great and godlike powers, themes of reincarnation, and similar names. Also introduced, in the Silmarillion are elements of Norse/Olimpian pantheons, gods, and legends.
Tolkien started from the ground up, creating a foundation for Middle Earth. He explained the mechanics of creation, and how things in this world were governed. This, like any good mythology, gave meaning for existance and tied everything together, so that the readers would not have to fill in any huge gaps. It is also remarkable to note that he created maps and even made new languages, presumably from his extensive experiences at college.

He also tended to be a bit of a recluse, seldom appearing in public or giving interviews. Who would blame him? The stories are so rich, they seem to be written for Tolkien himself. His world of fantasy is so complete, why emerge from it to deal with mere man when he could kick it with Tom Bombadil and the elves.

I had often wondered how a production of LOTR would take place, as the stories are so long, and full of nuances. I imagined that someone would make an Anime series (not like the cartoon version of the series that was made in the 70s), as this media is more versatile than conventional films. However, back in college, I was delighted to hear that Peter Jackson started work on LOTR. However, I had my reservations. How could he expect to match the scope of the world of Tolkien: he couldn`t. How closely would he stick to the books: small changes obviously had to be made to cram one book into a time limit of three hours, this was to be expected. Could the films possibly live up to my preconception of Middle Earth? Nope.

I prepared myself to be dissapointed. It was not possible for the movies to make the Wraiths as evil and terrifying as I imagined them on many dark nights, reading by flashlight. Gandalf and Shadowfax could'nt be as badass as I pictured them, even with all of the special effects available. As much as I wanted to watch the movies, I hoped that they wouldn't ruin the images and experiences that I had created in my head after completing the series.

I have some major faults with the two movies out so far, but I thought that The Fellowship of the Ring was done reasonably well. The major beef I have with this movie is that they made Arwen, a minor character who plays the most important role during The Return of the King. The scene where she carries Frodo across the river, drawing the wraiths into a booby trap? Never happened.
And what will become of Eowyn, with whom Strider first develops an affection for? Looks like she will not have to choose Faramir afterall.
Interesting parts also missing from the first film include the visit to Tom Bombadil's hippie co-op, and how the Hobbits escape from the Barrow Wights. Although, yes, I understand there is only so much that can be crammed into the space of three hours. I know, but I still think you shouldn't undertake a classic of such magnitude if you can not portray it in a suitable fashion. Still, I must admit I liked the movie overall and was excited to watch the second movie.

The second movie was a disaster. I don't even want to talk about it and have no need to ever see it again. Heck, I don't even want to talk about the BS that was pulled in that movie. Now that the bar has been lowered, I expect to be at least a little more satisfied with the Return of the King, but at this point, I would rather see the final installment of the Matrix.

Well, at least the books remain. This medium is still and I think, will always be more powerful than movies could ever be. The world of Middle Earth is a personal place, and reading your way through it allows you to personalize it. The creative liberties that Peter Jackson took violated this. I know that the movie execs wanted to capture the demographic pie slice that loves Titanic and Disney movies. He did bring in the money, but the bottom line is that he sold out making sure that the films would safely be as commercially successful as possible.

Grease Monkey

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Today, I went to the local Mobile (we have three gas stations in my town of under 2000 people, go figure...) to get my tire (thats "tyre" for any confused Brits who may be reading) fixed and to get an oil change. As I stepped out of my car, the proprietor exclaimed "Eh, Saru da!" and pointed to the roof of the garage. The monkey proceeded to jump off the roof, go to a tree and start eating its cherry-like fruit.

All of the people inside the Mobile came out to get a good look (as monkeys are rare around here- I didn't know that they were around!!!). The monkey then decided to climb up to the second story of the house, and the doors were open, so the okasan ran up to close them (Out of the blue, without precedent, she started to speak perfect English to me today... He (you could tell it was a he because of the massive nut sack staring you in the face) looked really hungry, and I didn't want to get too close in case he turned evil and started to attack. I will take my chances with Mamushi any day to a pissed off hungry monkey.

Anyways, my oil was changed and my tire was fixed in a record thirty minutes, even with the mechanic taking time to watch the monkey. And he hooked me up- 5000 yen for labor, oil filter, 3.5 liters of oil, and labor!
I hope the monkey finds enough to eat around here, because food is kind of scarce in the surrounding wilderness.

What Is A Higothai?

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This is a higothai.

Recently, I have been driven to give more thought to our family's genealogy. I have a pretty good picture of my Father's side of the family, and have had the great privilege to meet many of them. They are almost always hospitable to the point of me feeling guilty about taking them up on it, and tend to be chill and down to earth. Also, there are many, many, many of them. This is probably also true of my Mother's side of the family too, after all, she is the first of six children. Dad is the youngest of seven. Fertility is not a problem in our family.

Anyways, I took a solo trip down to Kagoshima about two months ago, because I'd never been there. In the old days, the Shimazu clan ruled Kagoshima, holding sway through out the whole of Higo (Kyushu) and parts of Honshu. Anyhow, supposedly, after the Satsuma rebellion, the Shimazu clan fell from power and many of them fled to other parts of Japan. Other than the general history of the clan, I have no idea about my ancestors from southern Kyushu.
Walking around Kagoshima, I really felt at home as if I belonged here. The atmosphere was lively, yet kick-back. Seeing the remains of the castle, reading the words of the former lords, looking at statues of heroes I had never heard of; all of this made a big impression on me. It would be nice to meet relatives from around here, and to find out more about the past.

As I walked the ancient grounds of Kagoshima City, I wondered if the people I passed were related to me in some way: Did they have blood in common with me? Were they the descendents of the vassals or masters of my ancestors? Did that guy selling fish have a Great-great-great-great-great grandfather who sold fish to my Great-great-great-great-great grandfather?

I hope I find the answers to some of my questions, and I invite anyone interested in helping to join in! If one of my unknown relatives or someone with whom I have some secret relationship with is reading this, lets get in touch and help each other!

Justin, Mika, Merin- lets get this organized and find out about the unknown part of our family.

The Last Meal

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You have NO idea how good this tasted after eating only burgers from Mos, Mac, Freshness, and occasionally Lotteria for over 8 months! I would have paid 20 bucks for this awesome set: Double Whopper with cheese, Large fries, Large Drink! What is the first thing I am going to do when I get home? I will make a circuit of In N Out, followed by Alertos, then dash over to Tommy's, followed by Claim Jumper and Islands. Then I will visit J&J's house of subs, the Indian place next to J&J's, Rally burger, Fuji burger, Arby's, and Rubio's. In the early morning hours I will go to Jack in the Box, of course!
No wonder Japanese are so skinny- they have no real good burger joints...

How To Catch A Wookie

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This pic was taken in Bangkok, in a Lotus Supermarket. For some reason, this reminds me of the piece of meat hanging from the forest canopy in the scene from Return of the Jedi, when Chewie triggers the net booby trap.

I love the supermarkets in Thai. They?re like the supermarkets in Little Saigon, but cleaner and with a larger selection of weird stuff to look at. My only request: get rid of that nasty durian! It smells like rotting carcass!

Presque Vu

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In the early winter, I decided to go on a trip to China with Joe and, but SARS made me back out, and their BOE's forbade them to go. I checked out the facts about SARS and decided to go on a trip to Thailand with my Jus and Nam, despite the (negligible, from my POV) risks.

During this time, it was a real pain trying to leave Japan to go anywhere, as everyone (meaning Japanese people) was afraid of SARS. Luckily, I won the battle with my BOE and slipped out of the country. I needed this. Japan was really getting to me, especially after the long winter spent in my uninsulated house, layered under no less than 3 garments at any given time to keep from freezing to death.

As soon as I stepped on the airplane, I felt good. Things were gonna change, I could feel it. I noticed that one of the stewardesses was really nice, and we started to chat in the back of the plane. After we had been talking for a while she started asking really specific questions like "what part of Orange County are you from exactly", and "do you know (fill in the blank)". Finally, she asked me "are you Merin's older brother?". It turns out that Kaori (the stewardess) was an old friend of Merin's from OCC. I know that I look like Merin, but this blew me away and it felt really weird to have met someone that I didn't know but sort of did. Anyhow, I snapped this shot (to the ire of the other attendants who told me that cell phones are to be kept OFF during the duration of the flight, thank you very much!), and it still brings back that strange feeling every time I see it.

At the end of my trip, I randomly met a teacher from Kaset Sart University, whom I had become friends with during a previous exchange program 6 months earlier. He was seeing off another friend at the airport, and we just so happened to meet just before I stepped on the plane. When you meet people unexpectedly in different countries, it can feel like the hand of destiny has pushed you together. This was indeed a strange way to start/end a trip.

Shiramizu

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Located only 40 minutes away from my pad is this waterfall. There is a hidden ladder you can climb to access the fogotten campsite, complete with pitfalls, rusty danger signs, and the stench of rotting carcass (no joke). Brought back memories of Stand By Me.

Rimshot

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Taken from the Milk Road, on the crest of the largest caldera in the world. In addition, this area boasts some of the best driving to be had in Japan, good clean air, and breath taking views.

Taro's Meat Mobile

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Heh heh... I said Meat

For my birthday, Justin flew me up to Osaka to go see ADF in concert!!! They rocked the house, but I missed the lyrical barrage of Deeter. Anyways, the concert kicked major ass and it was one of the best concerts I've been to in Japan!

This also happened to be prime time for cherry blossom viewing parties (hanami), so we bought a lot of frozen meat(that kicked major ass!) for really cheap, got the other provisions together, and had a hanami party in the rain overlooking the Tenri Dam. It was friggin? cold, and there were no cherry blossoms up here, but it was good times. Playing with hanabi, eating awesome food, hanging out with good people- Yes, and it ended with a large bag of assorted fireworks (helicopters, ladyfingers, bottle rockets, roses, etc...) being tossed in the bonfire, chasing the unwary from the warmth. It?s never officially a crazy time in Nara unless someone almost dies from the irresponsible usage of fireworks.

Fireball, Tiger Uppercut!

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This is a picture from the famous Fire Festival (hifuri shinji) at Aso Shrine which took place in late March, on a rainy evening. The modest grounds of the temple were crowded past the limits of safety, and the monks handed out bales of hay to anyone wishing to set these on fire and to join in on the melee. No instructions were given, it was more of a "do as you please" atmosphere. The festival transformed the temple grounds into hell with spent straw bails skewed over the premises, burning bright and emitting as much smoke as heat. More and more people spun fireballs, adding to the intensity. Some whirled theirs too close to each other, and cinders shot out as overlapping ellipses came into phase, exploding like the Death Star.

There was one very enthusiastic Japanese girl who loved swinging the fireballs. She swung them in wild trajectories with great enthusiasm, to the horror of people standing 5 feet from her. Usually when others were swinging a bale and the rope burned through, the fireball would quickly fall to the ground and roll maybe a few feet. With this girl, though, the burning bales would arc through the air, as if lobbed by an Olimpiad hammer thrower. Luckily, the first nine times ended without incident, they just scared the bejesus out of anyone close to her. The tenth time, the rope snapped, and the fireball pounded into a guy not 5 feet away from her. Upon impact, the burning hay bursted from the bundle, fully enveloping the cringing man in fire, smoke, and cinders. Luckily for him, the fireball dissipated quickly and he walked away (albeit, with a slight twitch). If I go next year, I know who NOT to stand next to! Thank goodness for the shrine that Japan is not as litigious a society as the good ol? U.S. of A., or else there would be no festivals that I would really want to go to.

Mamushi

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Don't Fuck with this snake!!! I have had three encounters with this snake so far, with two of them in my town. This pic was taken in the Northern part of Ubuyama, where they are said to be common. Often seen infused in sake, the mamushi is said to give you "special powers" and to be a "genki drink". Translation: it gives you a really big BONER. This is gross but not as gross as what the Chinese will eat, drink, snort, smoke, or otherwise utilize a wider and more disgusting range of "natural remedies".

Anyhow, I tried to catch my first mamushi four years ago while at a flower park with T-bone in Nara. The small dark snake was just too fast for me, and Taro stopped me from jumping Irwin style into the bushes. Just a month ago, again I tried to catch a snake I saw, this time in front of my house. Armed with my broom, I pinned it down and grabbed the tail, but it freed its head from the broom and started back at my hand. I let it go and it got away. Afterwards I went back to English Camp, and during a hike with my kids, I noticed that this warning sign (In English this time) was the same one I tried to catch just an hour earlier.

Supposedly, people eat Mamushi around here. One of my greatest hopes is to go to a school barbecue and have one of the OG farmer parents pull out a live snake, dress it, throw it on the grill, and say "Adamu sensei, tabete mite onegaishimasu". I'm down with eating the good ol? fashioned country cuisine!

Nippon's Very Own Davy Crockett

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I went to visit my friend Kei last February up in Kita-Kyushu, and got to meet his family. They're great people, nice and hospitable to an extreme (even in Japanese standards). Kei's grandfather is the dude in the picture. He speaks english because he piloted in the U.S. during the 50's and now enjoys shooting stuff in his retirement years. On his head a Davy Crockett style cap made of Japanese Racoon-Dog (Tanuki). Other varmints he has plugged with his 20 gauge include kiji (pheasant), inoshishi (wild boar), and kitsune (fox). Miyahara Ojichan may look like a nice old man, but he knows how to handle the steel.

Monkey Igloo

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My kids at Hokubu Shogakko made this at the end of winter, when the snow was melting, and it was a blistering 7 degrees C during the day. It felt warmer inside of this dome than my house (and this is not hyperbole, unfortunately). Thank god for summer! Right now its nice and cool up here and everyone else is stuck sweating it out all over most of Japan. Gotta learn to cherish the moments. Then again, there are no bugs during the winter months, and none of that insidious mold!

Monkey Art

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This picture was made by a former hoikuen student named Tatsuyoshi. Notice the badass romaji. and the badass fro on the hungry dude. Ta-kun knows whats up!

Incriminating Evidence

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Mom, Dad, Mika, concerned friends... Merin is an alcoholic. Please support her in this desperate hour! Merin, we are behind you 100 percent.

J-Fro (Atomu Version 0.1)

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Is it me or does Justin bear an uncanny resemblance to Astro Boy?

Upside-Down Winter Fro (post hibiki)

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After Going to the Kuju Skiing "Resort" (which is like calling my fish tank an aquarium), my fro was encrusted by a blizzard that came out of nowhere! This kicked major ass because:

1. The entrenched youth forming a wall with 7 layers of strata to block all who dared to board, while looking good sitting down on the slopes, in their brand new way-too-expensive gear, sending emails via the newest keitais, were all scared away by this blessed tempest. It blew hard and deposited a nice layer of powder to cover the icy slush and my hair.
2. The ride kicked major ass after the storm dumped powder on the slope (I would say slopes, but that would be an utter lie). The run was only about 50 meters for the "advanced" half (that?s right, there are only two lifts that make up one run) and I could do it with my eyes closed, making it down in ten seconds. The blizzard was SO thick that it was like riding with my eyes closed.
3. It is nice to be only one of the few quasi-real boarders on the mountain (and I use this word lightly) being blasted by snowflakes. The feelings of a numb face, and the shock of chewing an Altoid and then inhaling the air in sub-artic conditions...

If you want to go boarding in Kyushu, I have a word of advice: save your money. Go mountain boarding instead, or head up to Northern Japan.

Righteous Fro

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Why get a hair cut? I have been in Japan for over a year now, and it seems that all the hair stylists know is how to give me a bad one. There was one exception, but they didn't cut the sides short enough, and my hair went wild shortly after. Screw it. Its time for my fro to go back to its natural state.

What is it with bad haircuts in this country anyways?

And So It Starts...Again (sigh!)

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Summer break is officially over and classes resume today, so it is back to the same routine. The teachers forgot to tell me to come to the opening ceremony, and as I heard everyone singing the official Ubuyama Chugakko song, I was happy to be left out so that I could read about the discovery of a new order of insect in National Geographic (much more interesting than listening to meaningless speeches). Being invisible has its advantages after all!

Sonic Reverberations

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Sunday has always been a big disappointment to me. Technically, it is a free day, to be used as a typical day off, but the day after takes away from the magic.

That being said, This Saturday is not so bad. Right now I am in my house up on the mountain not really doing anything, and it feels good! The breeze is sweeping through the open windows, and though I can not call it "refreshing" it still is a billion times better than being in the hot and humid environment of the city..

Feelin? pretty good right now. I just ran my 5th hash yesterday. I am proud to say that I came in with the front of the pack, after not exercising at all for over three weeks! I am feeling the burn of residual lactic acid, though.

The race this time was in southern Aso, and for once it was a beautiful day with no rain! Props to Ben for putting it on, and to everyone who showed up.

So yesterday, I was immortalized and given the name "Sonic" because of my righteous fro! I truly have sukebe hair, which seems to grow at the same rate as the grass of Kyushu during the Summer. Anyways, this nickname is not new at all. I was first called Sonic when the Sega Genesis, the badass 16 bit console of the day, was at its zenith of popularity. Then I grew out my hair and had it parted down the middle, losing the nickname until college rolled around. The nickname periodically has resurfaced, with everyone who bestows it on me believing themselves to be original in drawing a parallel between my hair and that of the Blue hedgehog. That being said, it is time to make a decision. I will either allow my mane to grow, allowing it to thrive past the point of any semblance of control, or take the scissors to it.

Sonic also happens to be the name of a really cool dog that lived with Justin about 10 years ago. Sonic is blended into my earlier impressions of Japan. Sonic ran faster than the wind, chasing bottle rockets (and I swear, almost catching them) through the rice paddies of Nara-Ken. Watching Sonic tear through the rice stalks was like watching a turbo-charged alien snake-worm in Tremors rip through the desert sands, but more fast and agile.

Ignition

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Words. Pictures. Hypertext. We post, you decide:

Finally, after months of nail-biting anticipation, and our hopes of the much hyped Typepad being dashed, we are up and running on... Movable Type! The layout on MT looks sleek and I need to read through the manual when I am on the punchcard.

Although MT's capabilities far surpass those of Blogger, the layout seems more intuitive and makes me want to learn everything about it. Props to J for finally getting this thing up and running. Just wanted to put down some verbage and make my mark on the section known now as the "Higo Blog".

I can't wait to see what will become of this: Finally a way to chronicle my misadventures, but mostly I'm doing this so that I can remember the experiences that might otherwise be forgotten. In college, many pranks were pulled on unsuspecting roommates but I can't remember all of them. Had I written them down, this would not have been the case.

On Chris Dempsey's 21st birthday, we (being Brian and I) pulled an awesome joke on Chris and Steve, who shared a room in our Picasso apartment in Isla Vista. I got about 10 cubic feet of foam peanuts, and when they were outside enjoying the keg of Sierra Nevada, we dumped the foam in the room, turned on two huge K-Mart box fans to produce a sustained peanut flurry, and locked the door of our room to foil any attempts at retribution.

Unfortunately, Chris was in a particularly foul mood (because his girlfriend of the time decided his Birthday was a GOOD TIME to break up with him- that's just cold-hearted now).

When Steve saw the room, he was drunk, and after punching us a couple of times, he congratulated us on a well-executed prank (you know what's up man). When Chris saw it, he was drunk, but he didn't take it very well. He kicked down our door, saturated our mattresses with 5 gallons of Arrowhead water, all the while as we watched, in disbelief, unable to do anything.

Chris' rampage might have been an equally good prank, but he did it with the look of a crazed wombat with no intention of anything other than lashing out in hatred. The next day he was still pissed, and I think he still hasn't fully recovered from the incident. If you ask him, our prank still is not funny. It was just a case of us being assholes, as usual (I accept that I am an asshole on occasion, but this was a brilliant joke).

It is experiences like this that I wish to more fully document, for no reason other than recording things that I find to be interesting, of concern, or at least noteworthy.

Everybody and their mom is blogging now, but what I hope to do is to surpass the quality of content, planning, and execution of my portion of the greatness that is the C0sm1c13uDdh4 page. Experiments will be carried out, with some destined for greatness and others for utter and complete failure, but just bear with me. I am not a flight risk, nor am I Raed. But you will see a schooner- if you look hard enough at these two asterisks ( * *) for a suitable length of time.